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Mitchell’s NJPW Summer Struggle Sapporo Report! (7/10/21)

The Summer Struggle returns!

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NJPW Summer Struggle Sapporo

The Summer Struggle begins again in the north of Japan!

NJPW brings back the Summer Struggle, and Sapporo, Hokkaido is where it begins! Will El Desperado shoot down the Bone Soldier and retain his title?

NOTE: NJPW no longer wants to feed AXS TV now that it is with Anthem and Impact Wrestling. But never fear, I will cover NJPW in the spirit of AXS in providing the most important matches of the show.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Suzuki-Gun; LIJ wins.
  • IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: El Desperado VS Taiji Ishimori; Desperado wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Suzuki-Gun!

Tomorrow is the big day, where Tetsuya Naito and Sanada will finally challenge the Dangerous Tekkers for the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships! But that means today is the last chance for momentum, but also a moment where both teams are vulnerable. Will having Bushi and THE IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Shingo Takagi, help Naito & Sanada stay strong?

After an LIJ fist bump, as well as Suzuki-Gun plugging the Dangerous Tekkers’ towel, Taichi calls out Naito but Naito calls out ZSJ. ZSJ refuses and Taichi steps up. LIJ attacks! The bell rings, LIJ kicks Suzuki-Gun out of the ring and the brawl is on! Naito is after Taichi, Sanada is after ZSJ, Takagi has Yoshinobu Kanemaru and Bushi goes after Douki. Naito wrenches Taichi’s arm, YANKS it, then wraps it around railing! Sanada has ZSJ down and has a standing toehold to twist the ankle. Red Shoes reprimands as Sanada twists then stomps ZSJ’s leg. Naito wrenches Taichi’s arm again, puts him in the ring, and Sanada joins him as they get him up.

Naito and Sanada double whip, double back elbow, then sit Taichi up for a basement dropkick! Fans cheer as Naito has Taichi for a double wristlock. Taichi endures, Naito drags him up and wrenches again, then tags Bushi. Bushi CLUBS Taichi’s arm, wrenches it and elbows the shoulder. Takagi tags in, climbs up and fans fire up as Takagi drops ax handles! Takagi YANKS Taichi’s arm, and again, then wrenches through. Takagi hammerlocks Taichi’s arm, Sanada tags in, but Taichi grabs at Sanada’s hair. Red Shoes reprimands, Takagi CLUBS Taichi, and Sanada takes the hammerlock. Naito gets a shot in, and then Sanada drags Taichi around for more wrenching.

Sanada puts Taichi in a corner, whips him corner to corner then runs in, but he blocks Taichi’s boot! Sanada trips Taichi and fans cheer as Sanada goes for Paradise! ZSJ gets in to fish hook Sanada, wrench his arm over an dover, then PELE the arm! Taichi wrenches and HOOK KICKS Sanada down while ZSJ BLASTS LIJ off the apron! Suzuki-Gun goes after LIJ, Kanemaru whips Takagi into railing! Taichi chokes Sanada but also covers, TWO! Taichi drags Sanada up, chokes him into the Suzuki-Gun corner, then tags in kanemaru. Douki digs his boots in, Kanemaru stomps, and Kanemaru wrenches to YANK Sanada’s arm!

Kanemaru wrenches and hammerlocks the arm, then scoop SLAMS Sanada down! Tag to Douki, he stomps Sanada, then drags him up to snapmare him into a grounded cobra twist. Sanada endures, scoots over, but Douki makes it a cradle! TWO, tag to ZSJ, and ZSJ smirks as he stands on Sanada’s arm. ZSJ digs his heels in, twists the wrist around and bends the fingers way back! Fans rally up as Sanada fights to his feet, but ZSJ whips and WRINGS Sanada out! ZSJ pulls on the bad arm, Sanada fights up to his feet, but ZSJ wrangles him back down! ZSJ continues to pull the arm but Sanada endures. Fans continue to rally, but Taichi stomps Sanada!

Red Shoes reprimands Taichi but ZSJ keeps on Sanada. Sanada manages to roll and float to a headlock but ZSJ wrenches free! ZSJ has the wristlock, Sanada rolls and handsprings and cartwheels and wrenches! ZSJ wrenches and WRINGS Sanada out again! Tag to Kanemaru and he stomps Sanada’s bad arm. Kanemaru wrenches, Douki goes up top and drops ax handles! Kanemuar and Douki stomp Sanada to a corner, whip him corner to corner, then Douki runs in but misses! Sanada dropkicks Kanemaru’s legs out then RANAS Douki down! Fans fire up as Sanada crawls, hot tag to Naito! Naito rallies on Kanemaru, then on Taichi!

Naito whips Kanemaru to elbow him and basement dropkick! Taichi returns but into a NECKBREAKER! Naito runs ZSJ off, then stomps Kanemaru in a corner. Naito whips corner to corner, but Kanemaru dodges the rocket kick. Kanemaru runs into a back elbow but reverses the whip. Naito holds ropes, boots back, and tags Bushi! Kick, sunset flip and swing back into basement dropkick! Fans fire up and Bushi bumps Kanemaru off buckles. Bushi whips corner to corner, runs in but misses. Kanemaru comes back but into a swing kick! Bushi goes up and hits a missile dropkick! Fans fire up seeing the Bushirooni!

Bushi stomps Kanemaru, gets him up, but no Magic Screw! Bushi kicks Kanemaru low, runs, but into Kanemaru’s dropkick! Both men are down, fans rally up, and Kanemaru rolls to tag in Douki. Douki runs at Bushi to clothesline! Douki scoops, SLAMS, runs and runs to DOUBLE STOMP! Cover, TWO! Bushi stays in this but Suzuki-Gun knocks LIJ off the apron again! Douki whips Bushi to a corner, runs in and back elbows! ZSJ adds a EuroUpper, Taichi adds a clothesline! Douki is up top and hits a FLYING SHOULDER! Cover, TWO! Bushi survives, but Douki drags him into ITALIAN STRETCH 32! Bushi endures, falls but gets the ropebreak!

Red Shoes counts, Douki lets go at 4, but Douki also fires up and vows to finish this! Wheelbarrow, full nelson, but Bushi fights free! Douki rakes Bushi’s eyes but runs into Bushi’s dropkick! Both men are down and fans fire back up. Bushi crawls over, hot tag to Takagi! The Dragon drags Douki up, Douki CHOPS him, but Takagi CHOPS back! Takagi whips corner to corner, blocks the boot and clotheslines Douki! Takagi runs into a waistlock but switches. Douki fights the lift, breaks free and ENZIGURIS! Douki fires up and runs, but into a pop-up DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO!? Douki survives but Takagi fires up with, “OI! OI! OI!”

Fans clap and Takagi powers up. Takagi gets Douki up, pump handle and torture rack but Douki fights free. Takagi elbows him away, runs, but Taichi gets in! Pumping Bomber and Ax Bomber collide, but neither man falls! Taichi tries again but Sanada gets in to dropkick Taichi out! ZSJ gets Sanada with a snapmare to headscissor squeeze! Naito basement dropkicks, but into an ANKLE LOCK! ZSJ has two LIJ for the price of one! But Takagi scoops Kanemaru to SLAM him onto ZSJ! Fans fire up as Takagi clears the ring, but Douki knees low! Douki runs, but Takagi clotheslines him at the ropes! Takagi runs, but into a wheelbarrow victory roll! TWO, and Douki UPPERCUTS Takagi!

Douki reloads, ROCKS Takagi again, then runs. But into an elbow, JAB, and YUKON LARIAT! Takagi has the fans fire up as he builds speed, PUMPING BOMBER!! Cover, LIJ wins!

Winners: Los Ingobernables de Japon, by pinfall

And the world champion’s might finishes it off! Is The Dragon going to be unstoppable when it’s finally time to face Kota Ibushi? As for Naito & Sanada, are they still in good shape for their own heavyweight title match? Or will the Tekkers merely regroup make them #JustTapOut?

 

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: El Desperado VS Taiji Ishimori!

The Rogue Luchador could not stay a double champion, but he won’t let the Bone Soldier Reborn be the next Mr. Junior Heavyweight Division at his expense! Will Sapporo heat up as gold is on the line in the Summer Struggle?

The introductions are made, the singles title is raised, and we see if #ItsReborn!

The two circle and fans rally up. The two tie up, Desperado pushes Taiji to ropes, but Red Shoes counts the ropebreak. Desperado lets off with aggressively mocking shoulder pats, but Taiji lets those slide. They circle again, tie up with knuckle locks, and Taiji gets around to a waistlock. Desperado spins through the hold to get a facelock, but Taiji wrenches out to a wristlock. Desperado rolls, slips through, wrenches and wristlocks back, but Taiji rolls and gets the wrench back to hammerlock. Desperado gets to ropes and steps through to the apron to then step back in! Taiji’s arm is caught, Desperado goes to a headlock and grinds him down. Taiji pops out the back to headlock back!

Desperado powers up to pry the hold apart, but Taiji drags him back down with a takeover! Desperado headscissors, Taiji kips free, and the two stand off. Fans cheer as Desperado cools off and circles with Taiji again. They knuckle lock, Taiji wrenches to wrangle Desperado to a top wristlock. Desperado fights up to his feet, Taiji wrenches through to YANK the arm, and YANK, and CLUB the shoulder! Desperado goes to a corner, Taiji throws in elbows, then whips Desperado corner to corner. Desperado reverses, Taiji slips through the ropes, slides under Desperado and back out the other side, to shoulder in and springboard!

Desperado gets under, things speed up, Red Shoes is used as a shield! Taiji gets past Red Shoes, avoids the basement dropkick, then gets the arm for an omoplata! Desperado rolls and slips away, out of the ring! Fans cheer and Taiji grins but Desperado just laughs it off. Taiji gives Desperado space to return and fans rally up. Desperado gets in, circles with Taiji, and pokes him in the eye! Red Shoes reprimands but Desperado CLUBS Taiji, then whips him to ropes. Taiji reverses, arm-drags and WRINGS the arm out on the mat! Desperado bails out again but Taiji pursues. Taiji wraps the arm around railing and pulls! Red Shoes reprimands but Taiji BOOTS the railing to jam the arm!

Taiji drags Desperado up, whips him hard into railing, and Desperado falls in a heap as Taiji stalks over. Taiji drags Desperado up, hammerlocks and POSTS him! Taiji pushes Desperado in the ring, then SLAMS the bad arm into the apron! Red Shoes reprimands again but Taiji gets a chair from the timekeeper’s area! Red Shoes won’t let him bring it over, but Taiji gets chairs from under the ring! Taiji SMACKS Desperado’s arm! Desperado flops out of the ring, Red Shoes checks on him, and Taiji undoes a corner pad! Fans rally up while Red Shoes reprimands Taiji. A ring count begins and Desperado stirs as we reach 5 of 20.

Desperado stands at 10 of 20, staggers, gets in the ring at 11, and fans cheer as the match continues. Taiji SLAMS the bad arm against the mat, then paces while Desperado writhes. Taiji looms over Desperado, drags him up and uses a cravat to wrench the neck. Taiji throws in shoulders, snapmares and NECK TWISTS! Desperado writhes, Taiji covers, TWO! Taiji grows annoyed but Desperado hits back from below. Taiji drops an elbow and then paces around. Taiji hammerlocks the bad arm, and RAMS Desperado into the bare buckles! Desperado shouts and writhes in pain but fans rally up. Taiji looms over Desperado again and stands on the bad arm before he stomps it!

Desperado sits up to chop Taiji but Taiji elbows him back down! And adds more stomps! Taiji hooks the arm with legs, then pulls on the far arm! Taiji wrenches it around and around before he SNAPS it back! Desperado shouts more but Taiji grins as fans rally up. Taiji gets Desperado up to POST him, then hammerlocks and scoops for a SHOULDER BREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Desperado survives and Taiji argues with Red Shoes, but fans cheer as this continues. Desperado throws body shots with the good arm but it isn’t enough. Taiji stomps away on Desperado, eggs him on, then dodges the clothesline. Desperado dodges, Taiji dodges and kicks low.

Taiji whips, Desperado reverses, Taiji handsprings but into Desperado’s arms. Taiji fights but can’t get away, Desperado gets his leg for a SHIN BREAKER! And then a GROUND DRAGON SCREW! Taiji writhes in pain, things now a bit more even between them! Taiji flops out of the ring, fans rally up and Desperado catches his breath. Desperado goes out to fetch Taiji, and whips him hard into railing! That’s the receipt for earlier! Desperado adds on by putting Taiji in the corner, and he SLAMS the bad leg into the apron! Another receipt! Taiji flops back to the floor and Desperado casually steps on the bad leg!

Desperado gets the chair from earlier but Red Shoes stops him there. Desperado says this is the last receipt, but Red Shoes grabs the chair. Desperado shoves Red Shoes down, then SMACKS the leg with the chair! Things are paid back in full now, and Desperado stomps the leg. Desperado puts Taiji in and fans cheer as this continues in the ring. Desperado stands on Taiji’s bad leg then SPLASHES down on it! Taiji grabs ropes but Desperado drags him away to drop knees on the leg. Desperado steps through, drops down on the knee, and ties Taiji’s legs up in a Butterfly Stretch! Taiji sits up, CHOPS, but the irony is that Desperado starts falling back, putting more pressure on the legs!

Taiji helps Desperado stay up, but Desperado uses that to still put more pressure on the legs. Taiji keeps his shoulders up so it isn’t a cover, and Desperado eggs him on. Taiji crawls, reaches, but Desperado leans back to put on the pressure! Taiji makes Desperado sit up again, and then uses that to make one last gasp for the ropes! ROPEBREAK, and Desperado lets Taiji free, but with “OOPS!” a knee drop on the knee. Desperado makes sure his arms are still good, and he stands on Taiji’s bad leg again. Taiji hits Desperado but Desperado gets him up for a SHIN- SUNSET FLIP! The bad leg can’t hold it, TWO!

Desperado taunts Taiji, whips, but Taiji handsprings to NEURALIZER! Double-edged given the bad leg and both men are down. Taiji gets his bad leg working, fans rally up, and Desperado gets to a corner. Taiji runs in, blocks boots, puts Desperado in the ropes and runs side to side, SLIDING GERMAN! Fans cheer while Taiji catches his breath. Taiji drags Desperado out, half hatch and SLAMS Desperado onto the railing! Desperado falls over and sputters, Red Shoes goes out to check on him, but somehow he’s okay to continue. Desperado clutches his ribs while Taiji catches his breath in the ring. The ring count starts, and fans rally as Desperado sits up.

The ring count is already 10 of 20 as Desperado drags himself over. Desperado hobbles up, gets around the railing and back to the ring at 15. He stumbles but drags himself in at 17, only for Taiji to 450 SPLASH him on the back!! Then roll to the omoplata and the YES LOCK!! Desperado is caught, but he drags himself over, only for Taiji to get the other arm! Taiji tries to stop Desperado but Desperado refuses to stop, he gets the ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer and Taiji lets go, both men are down and catching their breath again. Taiji gets up, drags Desperado back up, wrenches the bad arm and ELBOW BREAKERS! And again! Desperado tries to block the third but he hits another elbow breaker!

Taiji stomps Desperado, drags him up, whips him but Desperado holds the ropes! But that only hurts the arm! Taiji seems to laugh at Desperado then stomps him down. Desperado gets up and weakly chops, but Taiji CLUBS the arm! Taiji gets Desperado up to whip, Desperado manages to reverse, for a wrench and OLYMPIC SLAM! Desperado fights up, gets Taiji up and around to GUITARRA- No, no guitar as Taiji shoves Desperado into Red Shoes! Taiji gets Desperado’s arms but Desperado blocks the backslide, so Taiji MULE KICK LOW BLOWS! Desperado falls in a heap, Taiji grins, but fans rally as Taiji gets Desperado back up. Desperado LOW BLOWS Taiji back!

Fans fire up while both men and Red Shoes are down. All three start to stir, Desperado gets to ropes and grits his teeth as he gets up. Taiji sits up, Desperado crawls over to him and throws a forearm! Taiji throws it back, so Desperado hits him again! Taiji hits back, they start standing up, and Desperado throws another forearm. The forearms keep flying, faster and faster, and fans rally up! Desperado staggers, but he ROCKS Taiji back. Taiji comes back to ROCK Desperado, but Desperado ROCKS Taiji again! Desperado taunts Taiji but Taiji fires off furious fists! Taiji runs, Desperado elbows him, but he runs into a BOOT! Taiji runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO!!

Desperado gets a STRETCH MUFFLER!! Taiji reaches around but Desperado drags him away! Taiji makes it a cradle, TWO!! Desperado swings, Taiji dodges to tilt-o-whirl, but Desperado resists the takedown! GUITARA DEL MUERTE! Cover, TWO!?! Desperado is furious but the fans fire back up! Desperado vows to end this and he gets Taiji back up. Underhooks, but no Pinche as Taiji RAMS Desperado into bare buckles!! Both men are down and fans fire up again! Taiji runs in, tilt-o-whirl takedown, to YES LOCK!! Desperado is caught again, but he drags himself and Taiji over! Taiji rolls him away! But Desperado makes it the STRETCH MUFFLER!!

Desperado thrashes the leg as hard as he can, and he gets Taiji’s arm! NUMERO DOS!! Taiji rolls but Desperado rolls it back to keep it! Desperado pulls Taiji’s arms back as far as he can, but someone pulls Red Shoes out!? It’s EL PHANTASMO!! ELP saves his tag partner in a way, and Desperado lets Taiji go. ELP fakes Desperado out to mule kick hard! But here comes KANEMARU! He won’t let ELP screw his tag partner over! Kanemaru dodges the superkick to dropkick ELP’s legs out! ELP even gets spiked on his head as he falls! ELP bails out and Kanemaru stomps him down! They brawl on the ring and Red Shoes gets back in the ring.

Desperado and Taiji are in opposite corners as fans rally up. Desperado runs corner to corner but Taiji BOOTS him! Taiji runs but into a back suplex! Desperado fires up and so does Sapporo! Desperado gets Taiji up, underhooks, PINCHE- RANA! Taiji has the cover, TWO!! Desperado waistlocks, Taiji slips under, pump handles and flips Desperado, but Desperado fights it! Taiji gets him up, CYPHER UTAKI!! But that’s double-edged to Taiji’s bad leg! Taiji crawls over, covers, TWO!! Desperado survives because of those few seconds! Fans are thunderous as Taiji gets up, takes aim, and BANG!

Taiji gets Desperado back up, reels him in, but Desperado fights free to EL ES CULERA! Cover, TWO!! Desperado KICKS the and leg out! Fans fire up with Desperado, underhooks, and PINCHE- WHAT?! Taiji spins in the arm to drag Desperado down! BONE LOCK!!! Desperado is caught for a third time, but he’s dragging himself over again! Taiji rolls him away and cranks back harder! Fans rally hard as ever, Desperado claws the mat and crawls his way back over! Only for Taiji to roll him away, BLOODY- No, Desperado lands on his feet! But Taiji JUMP KNEES! Taiji gets Desperado up, whips but Desperado reverses, and Taiji hits bare buckles! LOCO MONO!!

Desperado fires up and the fans are thunderous as he underhooks! PINCHE LOCO!!! Wait, he holds on to get Taiji back up?! ANOTHER PINCHE LOCO!! Cover, Desperado wins!!

Winner: El Desperado, by pinfall (still IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion)

The Rogue Luchador roars victoriously as he breaks the Bone Soldier! Red Shoes brings the belt to him and sets it on his shoulder. Desperado raises it up over his head as Taiji makes his exit. Desperado gets the mic, but before he can speak, someone speaks on the titantron? Is that Robbie Eagles?! “G’day, champion. It seems like the Junior Division has been more like a committee of vultures, jumping over one another to be the next challenger for the title.” Maybe he needs to push his way to the front of the line before anyone else can. So Eagles vows to be the next challenger to the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship! With no more vultures, Desperado has a bird of prey to face. And Eagles vows Desperado will surrender to the Sniper of the Skies!

Desperado now responds to the video as fans rally up. “What a cute foreigner boy he is.” Desperado says when you wrestle a guy like Taiji, win or lose, there isn’t much left in you to talk, let alone cut a promo. But Desperado thanks Taiji for that great match. And he sees Hiromu on commentary. Stop talking and get back in the ring ASAP. But that aside, Desperado admits he has little left, but he just won so he’ll puff out his chest as THE IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion. No real acknowledgement of the sniper putting the target on his back, but will Desperado have to be ready for Eagles swooping in after his gold?


My Thoughts:

A very good start to the somewhat surprising return of the Summer Struggle series of events for NJPW. The 8 Man Tag being decided with Takagi pinning Douki makes sense, mostly because it keeps things even between the Tekkers and their challengers. That match is going to be really good but I don’t see the Tekkers losing. At least, not on a Summer Struggle show. What is it keeping Sanada from breaking through to the singles title scene? Or is it just the ill-timing of NJPW having plans for other things? Them uniting Intercontinental and Heavyweight titles into a world title, that did take away an option for Sanada to go for.

The Junior Heavyweight title match was great stuff, from the in-ring story of each man working on a limb for their submission strategy to the overbooking of ELP coming out and Kanemaru countering him. Desperado winning makes sense, both on Taiji not being quite on a double championship level and on a lot of guys in the Junior Heavyweight Division wanting their shot. Robbie Eagles making a return via titantron promo is great, but boy someone needs to learn how to get good audio quality out of these. Pretty sure he was greenscreening while being in like, his garage? The sound just seemed to echo and I’m not even sure I got his promo 100% right.

Desperado shrugging it off was a great detail, too. He doesn’t take the gaijin seriously, and would much rather Hiromu heal up and return so they can settle things. But Desperado VS Eagles, whenever and wherever that happens, will be a good match to further Desperado’s reign.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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