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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/24/22)

Time to weigh in before the Rumble!

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WWE Raw 2022

Raw prepares for the Royal Rumble!

Before fighting for the WWE World Championship, Bobby Lashley and BRRROCK LESNARRR step on the scales to make this one heavy Monday Night Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega; Belair wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins by disqualification, and Priest retains the title.
  • Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H; Ripley, Brooke & Morgan win.
  • The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO; RKBRO wins and gets to choose next week’s challenge.
  • Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Orton wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Austin Theory; Styles wins.
  • The Mysterios VS The Street Profits; The Mysterios win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Corey Graves is in the ring with Adam Pearce.

Pearce welcomes the fans to the official WWE World Championship weigh-in for the Royal Rumble. “Without further ado, please welcome the challenger, Bobby Lashley!” The Rocky Mountain Machine makes his way out, MVP right behind him, and some pyro added to his pose, and some more pyro in the ring. And of course, the WWE Champion, Br- “Ladies and gentlemen.” Paul Heyman walks out on stage to give his introduction, and says he’s so tired of everyone trying to steal his shtick, especially when no one does it as good as he does.

So about to walk down the aisle and step onto the scale, your REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED! WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! BRRROCK! LESNARRR!! Lesnar makes his entrance, wearing a cowboy hat and jeans, and he goes to the ring to join Lashley. But given the attire and the smirk on his face, it’s hard to say he’s taking this serious. Graves points it out, and Lesnar asks if Graves would like Lesnar to get naked. How about just carrying on with this then? Graves says Lashley is the challenger, so he will go first. Lashley throws off his jacket, steps over, and stands on the scale.

The ref checks, and Lashley weighs in at 273 pounds. MVP says, “See that? 273 pounds of All Mighty killing machine! 273 pounds of specimen like no other. Closer to a god than a man. 273 pounds of bottled lightning that Brock Lesnar will have to contend with at the Royal Rumble.” The match so many had written off as impossible is happening. But Lashley knew it was inevitable. 273 pounds, and then after the Rumble, Lashley will gain some weight. The exact amount as that WWE Championship weighs. Lesnar and Heyman laugh that off, and Graves says it is Lesnar’s turn. Lesnar takes off his hat and lets Heyman hold that while he steps on the scale.

The ref checks, and Lesnar weighs in at 286 pounds. Lashley is upset, though. Lesnar thinks this is funny, huh? He’s acting like a fool because he knows Lashley will beat him for the title this Saturday. “Mark my words: this will be the shortest title run of your entire career. And that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” Lesnar laughs and says, “Well who’s the comedian now? Paul, get this. On Sunday morning, hot off the press, Bobby Lashley beats Brock Lesnar in the Hurt Lock. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion! The new reigning, defending, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world~! Bobby Who?”

Lesnar laughs, takes his leave with Heyman, but it’s only a matter of time. Will Lashley have the last laugh when he’s the one leaving St. Louis with the title?

 

Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega!

The EST is dressed in gold, because she’s ready to go for gold in the Women’s Rumble! Will the Queen of the Ring merely be a stepping stone on Bianca repeating history?

Raw returns and Vega makes her entrance. The bell rings and they tie up. Bianca scoops and puts Vega on the apron. Bianca then blows a kiss, ducks the haymaker, drags Vega back into the ring and swings her around in the waistlock before a SLAM! Fans rally for the “EST! EST!” and Bianca avoids Vega stomping her foot! Bianca ripcords and whips but Vega reverses, only for Bianca to go up and over. Bianca handsprings, eggs Vega on, then dropkicks her down! Bianca kips up, drags Vega up, and suplexes! Bianca holds Vega up but Vega STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRES! Vega stomps away on Bianca in a corner and digs her boot in!

The ref counts, Vega lets off at 4 to then JUMP KICK! Vega keeps moving, and she KNEES Bianca down! Vega soaks up the heat, takes a bow, and then drags Bianca up. Bianca shoves Vega away, runs in but is sent into buckles! Vega then goes up, but Bianca ROCKS her first! Bianca scowls, trophy lifts Vega off the corner, but Vega fights free to a SLEEPER! Bianca RAMS Vega into buckles but Vega just throws elbows! Vega brings Bianca down to her knees, squeezes tight on the sleeper, but fans rally up. Bianca fights up, RAMS Vega into more buckles and then throws Vega off! Bianca scoops but Vega headscissors, but Bianca handsprings through!

Bianca rallies on Vega, dropkick and kip up! Fans fire up as Bianca brings Vega in for a suplex! Roll through, another suplex, and she even jogs in place before the SLAM! Bianca runs, handsprings, and MOONSAULTS onto knees! Vega grits her teeth, hops on, CODE- NO! No red, Bianca pops Vega off to a torture rack! KISS OF DEATH! Cover, Bianca wins!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall

Well, she just beat a queen, so this was the royalEST win Bianca’s gotten yet! Will she go back-to-back at the Rumble and return to WrESTleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.

Kevin Patrick tries to talk with him before his US Championship match but Kevin Owens refuses to talk. K-Peezy points out KO was the first person to give Damian Priest a pinfall loss here on Raw, and KO agrees with that. But he faked an injury. What? What did K-Peezy say? Faking an injury? Is he accusing KO of lying? Has K-Peezy been in the ring? No, he hasn’t, so his opinion is moot. KO says he fought through pain! Just reed his shirt! “Just Keep Fighting.” Now tonight, KO gets his US title match, and guess what he’ll do tonight? Read the third! Just Keep Fighting. That’s right! And he’ll do that until he is the new United States Champion.

WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!

The Archer of Infamy knows the Prizefighter is two-faced, but now he knows what to expect after being duped into a defeat. Will Priest keep the gold away from KO? Or will Damian make it hard for him to hold back?

Raw returns and Kevin makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who goes into the Rumble with gold already around their waist!

Kevin kicks, Priest pushes him away and fires off in the corner! Kevin dodges to CHOP and CHOP and forearm in return! The ref counts, Kevin lets off but Priest turns things around to fire off fast hands! Priest CHOPS, whips corner to corner, but Kevin reverses. Kevin runs in but blocks the knee to throw the leg down. Priest ROCKS Kevin with an uppercut, then throws more forearms! Priest runs, but Kevin drops to come back and CLOBBER Priest with an elbow! SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kevin argues the count but he goes after Priest in the corner. Kevin stomps, the ref counts and Kevin backs off. Kevin then runs in, but into a choke grip!

Kevin slips out of the choke slam to CHOP and forearm, but he runs into a BOOT! Kevin bails out, Priest builds speed, and Priest goes up the ropes. Kevin gets away, Priest hops down and goes out after Kevin. Priest blocks the superkick and throws Kevin into barriers! Priest puts Kevin back in, but Kevin SUPERKICKS him off the apron! Kevin hurries to the apron, SWANTON onto the knees! Priest was ready this week! APRON CHOKE SLAM! Priest is fired up and so are the fans as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Priest fires off kick after kick then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest hits a back elbow! But Kevin fights off the suplex, only to get a BELL CLAP! And a HEADLOCK DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Priest drags Kevin up, puts him in a corner and hoists him up top. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, climbs up, but Kevin hits back! Kevin adjusts and headbutts away on Priest! Then TORNADO DDT! Priest is in a drop zone, Kevin goes up top! FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin can’t believe it! Kevin argues with the ref but the ref defends it was two. Kevin waits on Priest to get up, SUPERKICK!

Kevin gets Priest back up, whips but Priest holds ropes. Priest BOOTS back, ducks and dodges, to FLAPJACK Kevin down! Then a HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives almost being beheaded but Priest keeps his cool. Kevin claims he’s got a bad arm, but Priest doesn’t trust that! Priest stomps away on Kevin at the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts 4. Kevin still says he has a bad arm but Priest KICKS him out to the apron. Priest rushes over, Kevin HOTSHOTS him! Kevin give sup faking and rolls Priest up, with tights, TWO!! STUN- NO! Priest powers out to LARIAT! Priest is fuming, is Damian coming?

Priest KICKS Kevin into a corner, stomps away, fires down hands, but the ref backs him up. Priest still comes back for more, the ref has to push him away again. Priest BOOTS Kevin, fires off more elbows, but the ref calls for the bell!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by disqualification (Priest retains the WWE US Championship)

Damian got the better off Priest, but he still has the belt. Kevin may have gotten the win, but will he think again before pushing Priest’s buttons?

 

Royal Rumble entrees speak.

Rhea Ripley says, “I have a score to settle with Nikki A.S.H. But the one thing that’s consuming my mind right now is the Royal Rumble. This Saturday, it’s every woman for herself, so I’m going to win at any cost. It’s gonna be an absolute nightmare for the 29 other women when I win the Royal Rumble and move on to WrestleMania.”

Dana Brooke says, “Call me crazy, but this year is gonna be my year! As reigning 24/7 Champion, I’m ready any time, at any place. And this Saturday, I’m gonna continue riding that wave, and winning the Royal Rumble.”

Liv Morgan says we’ve all seen her from being happy to be here to the girl that took the Raw Women’s Champion to her limit. We saw her nearly become champion. But at the Royal Rumble, there won’t be “nearly.” She’ll win to become the NEW Raw Women’s Champion.

 

Sonya Deville finds Damian Priest backstage.

He was outta control! When the ref says to do something, he should listen. Or else he’ll get fined, suspended, or worse. So get it under control! Will Priest find a way to contain the rage inside?

 

Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H!

We just heard from one team about the Women’s Rumble, but can they back it all up with actions? Or will they almost have momentum after facing the Daughter of Superfly, the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE, and the Almost SuperHero?

Raw returns as Dana makes her entrance, followed by Liv. Then Mella makes her entrance, followed by Tamina, and lastly, Nikki. The teams sort out, Mella gets her protective mask while Dana starts with Tamina. They tie up, Dana wrenches to a wristlock, Tamina shoves her away then runs her over! Tamina soaks up the heat, taunts Liv and Rhea, then stomps Dana. Tamina rains down forearms, wraps on a chinlock and she thrashes Dana before clamping on a neck wrench. Fans rally and Dana fights up, Dana throws elbows. Tamina CLUBS Dana, back suplexes, but Dana lands on her feet to tag Rhea! Rhea dropkicks Tamina, then swipes at Nikki!

Rhea DECKS Mella, wrenches Tamina and hits her with short arm clothesline after short arm clothesline! Then a ripcord HEADBUTT, and a sweep to the legs! Rhea runs to basement dropkick! Fans fire up with Rhea, she brings Tamina up but Tamina shoves her away. Rhea comes back to sobat, then she NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Mella gets in and FABULOUS KICKS Rhea! Liv ENZIGURIS Mella! Nikki kicks Liv for a TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Dana SHOTGUNS Nikki, Tamina CLOBBERS Dana! Mella tags in, she pie faces Rhea, and that just pisses Rhea off! Rhea trips Mella, ties up the legs, PRISM TRAP!! Mella taps, Rhea’s team wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan, by submission

That mask didn’t protect the legs! Will it protect Mella from being thrown out? but then Nikki SUCKER PUNCHES Rhea! What kind of hero uses a cheap shot?! Will Rhea personally make sure the Rumble is a nightmare for her former friend?

 

The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO!

In order for Matt Riddle & Randy Orton to earn a rematch for the Raw Tag Team Championships, they have to show their mental strength is superior in a series of challengers! Otis looked a little worried about that last week, but will he and “Master” Chad Gable be able to outsmart the Stallion & Viper? Or will #4PointOtis no longer be top of the class?

Raw returns and Kevin Patrick presides over this challenge. He welcomes to Raw Tag Team Champions, the Alpha Academy. Gable says that was a fine introduction but a terrible explanation. So he’ll put it in a way that even the mindless morons of Ohio can understand. SHOOSH. Tonight is the first in a triad of events over the coming weeks. Fans chant, “You Suck!” and Otis gets upset. Gable says SHOOSH, and realizes vocabulary isn’t Ohio’s strong suit. Triad means three, so there will be three events. These events will prove Gable is a genius, just as his Master’s Degree and 4.0 GPA does. Don’t boo education! If anyone needs it, it’s Ohio.

Now, this will also prove his protégé, his prized pupil, Otis has both the brawn and brains the size of a tree trunk when he and Gable decimate RKBRO into mental submission. Gable is so proud of Otis. And lastly, Gable will use this platform to officially announce that the Alpha Academy are in the Men’s Royal Rumble! And you better believe one of them is winning, and then the Alpha Academy will headline WrestleMania! Thank you! Kevin Patrick then introduces the former tag team champions, RKBRO! Orton & Riddle head to the ring, and Kevin Patrick reminds us that this is a spelling bee. Tonight’s winners will then choose next week’s challenge stipulation.

The champions open, and first up is Otis. Gable says Otis has this, and Otis nervously steps to the mic. Otis’ word is… Emmental. Can Kevin use that in a sentence? A form of Swiss cheese. E-M-M-E-N-T-A-L! CORRECT! Gable is proud and Otis is sure they’ve already got this. First up for RKBRO, it’s Riddle. Fans fire up as The Bro goes to the mic. Riddle’s word is… Calibration. Cali-bro-tion? No, calibration. Can he use that in a sentence? Uh, ok. “A simple calibration is used to set up the system for individual implementation.” Please put that into letters for Riddle. No, Riddle, you have to spell it. Oh, okay, like when he calibrates his scale for measuring ounces and-

Riddle, just spell it then! Right, sorry. C-A-L-I-B-R-A-T-I-O-N. CORRECT! Tied at 1-1 and Riddle is fired up! Gable is now up, and his word is… Disillusion. Gable laughs that one off. He was hoping for a challenger. For the sake of sportsmanship, give him the definition! SHOOSH! He didn’t need it! This is Mr. 4.0, baby! It is the disbandment of a group or organization- No, Kevin said disillusion, not dissolution. D-I-S-S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N! NO, Gable! Wrong word! What?! That was dissolution but Kevin said disillusion. This is a joke! Kevin said the word wrong! Gable says he spelled a word right! But it wasn’t the word that was said.

Orton says maybe Gable can just a freakin’ seat! Orton is ready to get this over with. Then his word and the win is… Well, one of the most commonly misspelled words. Dumbbell. Riddle says Orton has this! And looking at Riddle, Orton has this. D-U-M-B-B-E-L-L. CORRECT! Gable is furious! Dumbbell for Orton? Riddle IS a dumbbell! Gable, shut your mouth! And Ohio, let’s go ahead and shut Gable’s mouth for him! They can go 1v1 right here, right now! Gable is furious, and Orton says Gable is clearly not that smart so maybe he’ll spell out how he’s gonna beat Gable: the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment, R K O!!

Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!

Raw returns and the match is on! Orton and Gable circle, fans rally behind “Randy! Randy!” and ties up with Gable. Orton headlocks, grinds Gable but Gable fights up. Gable pries the hold, has a top wristlock and he brings Orton down. Otis says that’s the power of leverage, and Gable wernches to a wristlock. But Orton powers out to drop toehold and facelock! Gable moves around, Orton gets away, and the two circle again. They tie up, Gable wrenches, wristlocks, but Orton fights up. Riddle and the fans rally up, Orton wrenches through and headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over! Riddle is fired up as Gable gets to a corner.

Orton and Gable reset, tie up again, and Gable wrenches to a hammerlock. Orton slips around to hammerlock back, then headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over, and things speed up. Gable arm-drags, and arm-drags again! Gable keeps on the arm and fans boo as he wrenches the shoulder. Orton fights up, fans keep rallying, and Orton whips Gable to a corner. Gable goes up and over but Orton fakes out the arm-drag! RK- NO! Gable pushes Orton away, and then bails out of the ring to regroup with Otis. Fans boo and a ring count starts. Otis says you can’t RKO someone with no neck! Gable gets in the ring, he circles with Orton and they tie up again.

Orton wrenches to a wristlock, but Gable rolls, bridges, spins and handsprings to spin through and headlock. Gable then spins to the toehold and has the ANKLE LOCK! But Orton slips away and bails out to regroup with Riddle. Gable says it was that close, but Orton keeps his cool. Orton takes his time returning, but Gable throat chops him! Gable CHOPS Orton to a corner, throws body shots and haymakers, but lets off as the ref counts. Gable fires off more forearms, strikes a pose, but then Orton kicks back! Orton fires off EuroUppers over and over, whips Gable to ropes, then CLOBBERS him with an elbow!

Gable bails out again, Orton stalks up behind him! Back suplex to the announce desk! Gable flops to the floor and Otis can only glare as Orton looms over Gable. Fans are all fired up as Orton puts Gable in the ring. Otis gets on the apron, Orton knock shim down! But Gable CHOP BLOCKS a leg! Gable runs, runs Orton over, then hurries up the corner! MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Orton survives and Gable can’t believe it, while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Gable has a standing toehold. Orton endures, Riddle coaches him up, but Gable stomps Orton down! Gable has Orton in a corner, hooks a leg in the ropes, then gets the other for a DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! The ref keeps Gable back but Gable shoots in to get the left leg. Orton CLUBS Gable, whips him but the bad leg gives up! Gable whips Orton into a corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! Orton manages to rally, and he dodges to BACK DROP Gable away! Gable goes to a corner, Orton runs in to clothesline! Fans are thunderous for RKBRO as Orton reels Gable in. Gable switches, Orton bucks the waistlock and hits a BACK2BACKBREAKER!

Fans fire up as Otis coaches Gable and Riddle coaches Orton. Orton puts Gable through ropes, drags him out, time to spell “vintage!” DRAPING DDT! Orton slowly gets up as fans fire up behind him. Orton hears the voices and he waits on Gable. Riddle sees Otis getting on the apron and runs over that way. But Otis gets him for an EXPLODER! Orton is distracted, Gable backslides him! TWO, and Orton hits a POWERSLAM! Orton’s bad leg slows him down, but the fans still rally as hard as ever. Orton stands over Gable, then aims from the corner. Otis shouts to Gable, but Orton runs in, only for Gable to dodge the punt! ANKLE LOCK!!

Orton endures as Gable thrashes the bad leg! Fans rally, Riddle CLOBBERS Otis with his scooter! And then again! And again! Gable is distracted, Orton rolls to send Gable into buckles! RKO!!! Cover, Orton wins!!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall

RKBRO gets extra credit on The Alpha Academy! A win in the spelling bee and a win in the ring, but Riddle gets a mic. Riddle congratulations Orton, and reminds us that they get to choose the second Academy Challenge. Riddle thinks it’s time to go old school to gym class! What better way to show some physical prowess than a good, ol’ fashioned… scooter race! Is that really part of gym class? And does Otis even stand a chance of finding a scooter that can hold him up? Will RKBRO make it a 2-0 sweep? Or can Gable find a way to make a comeback?

 

Alexa Bliss continues her therapy.

The doctor thinks they’re making progress. Oh? He asks her a personal question: When was the very first time that Alexa met Lily? Oh, well, Lily’s been around her whole life. Any time Alexa was looked down on or bullied, Lily was there to be her friend. Alexa was just six years old when she met Lily. These two teenage girls picked on Alexa cuz she wore glasses, and they shoved her off the monkey bars. Alexa got knocked out, and when she came to, Lily was there. Those cute button eyes and the braids and stitching. Is that too much? No, keep going. Okay.

That day, Alexa and Lily got ice cream and played on the monkey bars. Lily said those mean girls would never come back, too. Then they ate candy and gumdrops, and they did that game where you stuff marshmallows in your mouth and try to say, “Chubby bunny.” Well, Alexa has plenty more to say, will we get to the bottom of Lily’s hold over Alexa?

 

Vince McMahon talks with Austin Theory.

Vince knows Theory is doing really good lately, especially the selfies. Yeah, look at this one! No, not that one. Well, it did feel good destroying Finn Balor, just like Vince wanted. And in the Rumble, Theory will win and face the champion of his choosing at WrestleMania! That’s exciting. If it’s not too much to ask, maybe Theory could get a late number? Like 26 or 27?Why would Theory think Vince has any influence over that at all? Especially right now, when he should focus on his opponent, AJ Styles. Whoa, as in, former WWE Champion, US Champion, Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champion, Grand Slam Champion AJ Styles? Yep! That AJ Styles.

Theory says that’s fine. Sounds good, even! Okay, hang on. Don’t forget your phone. And bring back a really good selfie. Yes, sir! Will Theory be able to be more than Phenomenal here tonight? Or does he finally fall out of favor with Mr. McMahon?

AJ Styles VS Austin Theory!

The Phenomenal One himself just got finished with a bright and shining star with a big ego in Grayson Waller. Will Styles check off another future star in Vince’s newest pet project?

Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings, they tie up, and Theory powers Styles to a corner. The ref counts, Theory lets off to mock Styles’ pose, but Styles keeps cool. They tie up again, Styles powers Theory to a corner but Theory turns it around. The ref counts, Theory lets off, and then he double guns. Styles still stays cool, ties up with Theory and gets a headlock. Theory powers up but can’t power out as Styles holds tight. Theory powers out, Styles ducks the hurdle, rolls Theory up, TWO! Theory fireman’s carries, but Styles sunset flips! TWO, Styles wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO! Styles dropkicks Theory right outta the ring!

Fans fire up and Styles takes aim. Slingshot and FOREARM! Direct hit and Theory checks his chin. Styles puts Theory back in the ring, stalks Theory to ropes, brings Theory up and bumps him off buckles. Styles CHOPS, Theory staggers to another corner, but Styles brings him out. Theory kicks but Styles blocks. Theory ROCKS Styles with a forearm, but Styles KICKS Theory’s leg! Theory hobbles to the corner, but Styles storms over. Theory YANKS Styles into buckles! And then throws him down by his hair! Slingshot STOMP, deadlift suplex! Cover, ONE!! Theory is annoyed and he rains down rights before wrapping on a headlock.

Theory grinds Styles but fans rally up. Styles fights up, puts Theory in a corner, but Theory turns things around. Styles dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! Theory falls and crawls, but he throws body shots. Styles KICKS Theory in the side! Styles runs for a BIG knee drop! Cover, TWO! Styles gets Theory up, snap suplexes, covers, TWO! Theory grits his teeth but Styles drags him back up. Theory FLAPJACK HOTSHOTS him! Styles sputters while Theory seethes, and Theory stomps Styles down! Theory drags Styles up, throws forearms, then whips corner to corner. Styles hits buckles hard, and Theory gets in his face! “How’s that feel?!”

Theory throws fists down but the ref back shim off. Theory stands on Styles’ head, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory drags Styles up but Styles DECKS Theory with a forearm! Styles drags Theory up, but Theory suplexes for a GOURD BUSTER! Styles flounders in the corner, Theory hoists him up top. Theory throws forearms, climbs up to join Styles, but Styles throws body shots in return. Styles ROCKS Theory, Theory drops but then somersaults to SHOTGUN DROPKICK Styles to the floor! Fans boo but Theory grins as he looks down at Styles, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Theory has a headlock. Styles throws body shots, Theory knees low. Styles kicks back, then ENZIGURIS! Theory staggers, Styles runs in but Theory catches his crossbody for a BACKBREAKER! Then a SWINGING BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Theory grins as Styles survives, and he stalks Styles to ropes. Theory bumps Styles off buckles, then RAMS a shoulder into his back! And again, and again! Theory lets off as the ref counts, and Theory throws down more fists. Theory brings Styles up, but Styles JAWBREAKERS free! Styles ROCKS Theory with a right, then CHOPS him to ropes. Styles whips, Theory reverses and BACK DROPS! Cover, TWO!

Theory says HE is phenomenal but fans boo. Theory drags Styles up to snapmare and stomp him down! Theory mocks Styles’ pose again, but misses the elbow drop! Theory grits his teeth as he gets back up and runs in at the corner. Styles elbows Theory away, then QUEBRADA DDT! Both men are down but the fans fire up! Theory and Styles are on opposite ends, Styles runs in to LARIAT! Theory kicks back but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! Styles hits a clothesline in the corner, then suplexes Theory to a NECKBREAKER! Styles runs, SLIDING FOREARM! Cover, TWO! Theory is still in it but Styles keeps his cool.

Styles drags Theory up, fireman’s carries but Theory slips out. Styles ducks the haymaker but not the back elbow! Theory hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Theory checks his chin again, drags Styles up and says he’s got this. JAWBREAKER! Styles runs in, but into a BOOT! Theory somersaults for a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Styles survives and Theory can’t believe it! Theory shakes his head, convincing himself he can do this. Theory gets Styles up to throw big forearms in the corner. Theory puts Styles up top, climbs up to join him, but Styles resists! Styles slips through and trips Theory up! Styles waistlocks, but Theory elbows out hard!

Theory reels Styles in, but Styles fights out of the powerbomb! Styles ducks and dodges to PELE! Both men are down again and fans are rallying! Styles reels Theory in, but Theory fireman’s carries! Styles fights free, rolls Theory, CALF CRUSHER!! Theory scrambles, ROPEBREAK! Styles lets go and both men slowly get up. Styles grabs at Theory but Theory holds the ropes. The ref calls the ropebreak, Theory throat chops! But Styles BOOTS back, goes to the outside, but Theory trips up his springboard! High stack, but with ropes! The ref sees that and stops the count! Theory and the ref argue, but Styles ROCKS Theory!

Styles is on the apron, he springboards in, PHENOMENAL FOREARM!! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall

Now that was phenomenal! Will Styles use this momentum to take the Royal Rumble and that golden ticket to WrestleMania? And what of Theory facing Vince’s wrath?

 

Raw holds a simultaneous interview with Becky Lynch and “Doudrop” Piper Niven.

Commentary wants to start with Piper. This match has been a long time coming, and Piper ran through the rest of the division to- Becky speaks up and asks if this is their first time. We start with the champion. And she’ll start with a champion of “a wee lass named Doudrop.” When she first got her start across the pond, who did she idolize? Becky. Who did she want to face most? Becky. Tell ’em how Becky paved the way, and as the groundbreaker she is, she gave Piper this match. People are asking, “Why would anybody in their right mind choose someone who can clearly out power them? Who can clearly break all their bones with one slam to the mat?”

Maybe that’s the answer! Maybe Becky isn’t in her right mind. Or maybe Becky is that confident in how damn good she is! Or that generous to grant an opportunity to a fellow Celt. Piper speaks up to suggest that maybe, Becky handpicked Piper because Becky is desperate. Maybe ever since she returned, she’s been ducking, dodging and scrambling just to hold onto the title. Maybe Becky thought putting the new girl in would be an easy victory. The only easy thing here will be how easy it is for Piper to break every single one of Becky’s ribs.

Becky wants “Doudou” to hold on there. Becky should be thanked for giving Piper her biggest match, her first title match here, and for paving the way and giving Piper a match at one of the biggest events of the year. If Piper had just said thanks, but no. Piper waited for Becky to get in and offer a handshake, so of course Becky slapped her across the face. And being the bigger person, Becky offers to lead Piper to victory in the tag match. But then Piper splashed Becky, dropped her, left her lying. Becky admits, she didn’t see that coming. But Piper’s in for a rude awakening at the Rumble when she steps in the ring with the #VanGOAT and Becky wins to stay Raw Women’s Champion.

Oh, is Becky done? Piper zoned out when she started hearing that whining, nagging sound, or else she was gonna lose it. But Piper will show gratitude when Becky shows respect. But Becky won’t, she will keep whining. She’s not a goat, she’s a little lamb on the way to the slaughter. The Dome is the slaughterhouse, and the new champion will be Doudrop! Becky says Piper was just another name to fill out the roster before this. Piper needs to know her place. It’s dead space and- Oh, Piper’s getting off the mic? She gonna run? She can’t run from the truth, or from this fight. Becky’s been champ for nearly three years !But then Piper barges into Becky’s room!

Piper and Becky scrap and referees rush in to stop it! Piper says her place is with the title, standing over Becky! Will Piper be the one to make Becky DouDROP that title?

 

Backstage interview with Rey & Dominik Mysterio.

Sarah congratulates Rey on being the WWE 2K22 cover superstar. What does it mean to be among the ranks like Stone Cold, The Rock, John Cena and The Undertaker? Rey says this is so dope. You have no idea what an honor it is to represent. Most superstars spend their careers chasing achievements, from main eventing WrestleMania or entering the Hall of Fame. Being on the cover of a WWE video game is no different, especially when that game is FIRE! Although, the one thing prouder would be seeing Dom on the cover one day. Dom says now Rey’s talking. Dom used to play those games growing up, and he knows he has to create his own legacy to be in those games. That starts Saturday when he wins the Royal Rumble.

Well okay, but that’d mean he has to throw Rey out. That’s not happening, right? Well after last week, he might be first to go! Dom’s got jokes. He’s playin’ right? Dom grins and heads out, but Rey laughs it off. Will “every man for himself” be true even for the Mysterio Familia?

The Mysterios VS The Street Profits!

Rey & Dom won alongside Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins last week, but now they’ll go against each other for some last minute momentum! Who will be on fire going into the Royal Rumble match after tonight?

Raw returns as the Mysterios make their entrance. The teams sort out, Dawkins starts against Dom. They circle, tie up, and Dom headlocks. Dawkins powers out, things speed up, Dom RANAS! Dom throws hands, knuckle locks and CHOPS, then goes up to FLYING ARM-DRAG! Dawkins dodges, Dom keeps moving, Dawkins hits a big back elbow! Cover, TWO! Dawkins drags Dom up, whips him to ropes, but Dom wheelbarrow sand throws Dawkins out of the ring! Rey gets in, holds the way open., Dom DIVES! Direct hit onto Dawkins, and then Rey crossbodies Ford! Rey runs, but Ford throws him out onto Dom!

Dom manages to catch Rey, but Ford FLIES! Direct hit and down goes everyone! Ohio is fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Dawkins grinds Dom down in a chinlock. Dom endures, fights up, throws body shots, but Dawkins DECKS Dom with a right! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this but Dawkins wraps on another chinlock. Dom endures again, fights up, Rey coaches him through it, and Dom gets to his feet. Dom throws more body shots, but Dawkins knees low. Dom ends up in a corner, but he dodges the cyclone splash to kick and TORNADO DDT! Both  men are down and fans fire up! Dawkins and Dom crawl, hot tags to Ford and Rey! Rey dodges Ford to tilt-o-whirl and headscissor! Ford ends up in a corner, puts Rey on the outside, but Rey ROCKS him!

Rey goes up top, leaps, SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, dodges again, but Ford FLAPJACKS Rey down! Ford somersaults, to a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Rey gets to ropes, Ford whips him, but Rey kicks back. Rey slides under, Dom gets in, and he gives Rey a boost to RANA Ford on tropes! The Mysterios dial it up but Dawkins trips Dom and drags him out! Ford runs in but Rey drop toeholds him to ropes! 6 1 NO! Ford blocks that, gets Rey up in an Electric chair, but Rey victory rolls! The Mysterios win!!

Winners: Rey & Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

The King of Lucha finds a way to snatch this one away from the Profits! But then Dom gets behind Rey and lifts him up, but Rey RANAS Dom out! Rey tells Dom he needs to try better than that, but then Ford TOSSES Rey! But then Dawkins tosses Ford! Dawkins says he got Ford there! But then the DIRTY DAWGS get in, and they both throw Dawkins out! Roode & Ziggler talk trash, but then the Mysterios and the Profits get in to go after them! It’s a huge scrap, but the Dawgs get tossed! And then the remaining four all square off in their own corners! Will any of these men make it to the end of the Rumble match this Saturday?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

Kevin Patrick brings up how the Usos are barred from ringside during the Universal Championship match at the Royal Rumble, and Rollins says that sounds so good. Rollins likes K-Peezy and will give him a little “insider information.” This was never about The Usos, or anyone else but Roman VS Seth, Seth VS Roman. Now they go 1v1 at the Rumble for the title, and historically speaking, Rollins likes his odds. Rollins knows he can beat Roman because he’s already done it. Roman knows Rollins has his number. Roman wants people to think very highly of him, but Rollins is the one who can put Roman in his place.

So speaking of Roman, Rollins is going to pay SmackDown one more visit this Friday, because unlike Roman, Rollins delivers his messages in person. See you Friday, brother! Rollins laughs it up, but will he have the last laugh this Friday? And will this Saturday be the first time Roman gets the better of Rollins?

 

The Miz heads to the ring!

The Hollywood A-Lister promised it last week, and now it’s here! Maryse’s birthday celebration will be here on Raw, and the ring’s already filled with presents! Will all go smoothly for the It Couple this close to the Royal Rumble? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and Miz welcomes us to the Maryse Birthday Extravaganza! It’s a celebration of his wife’s birthday, and then Saturday, we will celebrate The It Couple beating The Grit Couple! So without further ado, welcome the birthday girl, a woman more gorgeous, more sexier and more intelligent than anyone here, Maryse! Maryse makes her entrance, and there’s security at ringside. Miz says he speaks for everyone here when he says, “Open your first gift!” Maryse pulls the veil off a painted portrait of her and Miz as a prince and princess! Miz has done it! She feels even more special than the day she became a mother!

Or when he got her that pink Rolls Royce! Or when he got her that $500,000 ring. Well no expense spared. He got top of the line security to make sure there will be no intruders! They checked the ceiling so there wouldn’t be a Brood Bath! There will be no Edge or Beth here! Miz speaks for all of us when he says, “Open your second gift!” Miz hands it to Maryse, she pulls off the lid, and it’s… A custom hand purse! It says “No limit” on the side because there is no limit to their love. Wait, what’s this big one? Miz thought Maryse got him something. Uh, it’s her birthday. Why would she… Wait, then if he didn’t get that, and she didn’t get that… Then what’s in the box?

SECURITY! Get in here and open the box for Miz! The guard goes up to it, rips the paper away, and it’s all a trick! Miz put the brick that Maryse hit Beth with in a frame! This demonstrates that these two will always be one step ahead of Edge & Beth. Just watch this recap video as proof! Maryse asked Beth to call off the Mixed Tag, Beth refused, Miz tried to jump Edge but failed, but it still distracted Beth enough so Maryse could CLOBBER Beth! Fans boo but Miz & Mrs. just soak it up. Now it is time for everyone to get up out of their seats and sing Happy Birthday to Maryse. On three. One, two, DO NOT BOO! This is a birthday celebration! Stand up and sing!!

Now, one! Two! Three! HIT IT! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you~! Miz is so sour… But here comes EDGE! AND Beth! Edge has the music cut to tell Mike ‘n’ Maryse that they’ve been real clever. But being clever won’t matter on Saturday. All these security guards won’t matter on Saturday. Because Miz & Maryse stepped in it now! They’ve got a pissed off Rated R Superstar, and an extremely pissed off Glamazon on their hands. These two are gonna show everyone why that’s not a good thing. The Grit Couple storms to the ring, CLOBBER guard after guard, and Beth scoop SLAMS the next one! Edge TOSSES another, Beth sends one more into the steps!

The It Couple bail out of the ring, so Edge and Beth tear everything up! Beth SPEARS one guard, Edge SPEARS another! Miz & Maryse freak out over the cake being in harm’s way, but the Grit Couple give a guard a HART ATTACK! Shout out to the days of Beth teaming with Natty. Another guard gets in, he gets a 3D!! A shout out to some of Edge’s greatest rivals, before he BOOTS another guard! Edge sees the cake still standing, and Miz says he better not! Edge drags the guard up, reels him in, and POWERBOMBS him through the cake AND table! The terror on the It Couple’s faces is real this time! Will they even show up in St. Louis for that Mixed Tag match?


My Thoughts:

I have a feeling word got back that last week’s Raw was pretty sad, because they made sure this week’s Raw was really good. Now, a weigh-in segment for a title that doesn’t really have weight restrictions was really just an excuse to get Lesnar and Lashley to interact one more time. But Lashley and Lesnar are both doing really well on the mic these days, and Lesnar being dismissive of Lashley is such a great element of this. It’d be wild if Lashley won this but there’s a good chance Lesnar retains and we still get something of Lesnar VS Roman, title for title. Rollins has a good promo rather late in the night, but him hyping up the SmackDown go-home means something good is coming.

Bianca VS Vega was a short match, as was the Six Woman Tag, but sadly that’s how things are in RawDown these days… But at least we got a great promo segment from Becky and Piper. Piper leaving her room to find Becky and brawl with her was awesome stuff, and their match is going to be awesome stuff, but pretty sure Becky wins. Then they’ll set up Becky VS Bianca at WrestleMania, Bianca finally avenges her SummerSlam loss. Also, Alexa Bliss has to be returning to action during the Rumble. She might not win but she could have a really good showing to reestablish herself. Tonight’s vignette didn’t really do much, it just had her rambling about Lily’s origin story with no serious revelation.

We got a really good US Championship match, but it was a bit cheap for Priest to get disqualified when “Damian” let loose. Maybe Kevin comes back after the Rumble to try again and that builds to a US title match at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February. Styles VS Theory was a great match, too, just wish Vince would’ve let Theory and Finn have a match as good as that. And if Styles was still feuding with Grayson Waller, we could’ve built to Styles & Finn VS Theory & Waller, but nope. Vince has apparently given up on Finn, but not enough to cut him the same way they cut a lot of other great people. What a weird old man.

I loved so much of the Academic Challenge segment. Great promos from everyone, and I love that Gable got so cocky that he went with what he thought he heard and not what Kevin Patrick really said. Then we got an awesome match of Orton VS Gable, that also had the awesome aside of Riddle attacking Otis with the scooter. Now, going with a scooter race next week isn’t really something you’d see in gym class from what I’ve experienced, but it’s definitely a Riddle kind of choice. I’m not sure how, but Alpha Academy is definitely finding a way to win to push this to the third challenge, which RKBRO will win to get a tag title match.

The Mysterios VS Profits was really good, with Ford and Rey really standing out in this match. Mysterios get the win for momentum, but then the Dirty Dawgs get in on things for a nice brawl. I don’t see any of those six winning, though, but maybe the Mysterios come out tag title contenders for after RKBRO and Alpha Academy sort out. And then we got a pretty good final segment. As birthday parties that get ruined goes, I like that Miz swerved us with the giant box and then we get Edge & Beth straight up crashing the party. I spotted the Tate Twins among the security guards that got bodied, I hope that means they’re signing with NXT 2.0. The Grit Couple standing tall here, the math would suggest The It Couple finds a way to win, but who knows, Edge & Beth could defy the math.

My Score: 8.3/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Revolution Results & Report! (3/3/24)

Revolution is a mystery!

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This is the biggest Revolution yet!

While the AEW World Championship is defended in a Triple Threat, Revolution is also Sting’s last match ever! Will The Icon retire undefeated? Or will the EVPs serve him a bitter “severance package?”

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – 12 Man Tag: The Bang Bang Scissor Gang VS Willie Mack, Private Party & Team Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Karen Jarrett; win.
  • Zero Hour – Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale w/ Stokely Hathaway VS Julia Hart & Skye Blue; win.
  • All-Star Scramble: Chris Jericho VS Lance Archer VS “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS Wardlow VS Hook VS Brian Cage VS Magnus VS Dante Martin; wins and earns a future AEW World Championship opportunity.
  • AEW Continental Triple Crown Championship: Eddie Kingston VS Bryan Danielson; wins and
  • FTR VS Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli; win(s).
  • Don Callis Family Feud: Will Ospreay VS Konosuke Takeshita; wins.
  • AEW International Championship: Orange Cassidy VS Roderick Strong w/ The Undisputed Kingdom; wins and
  • AEW TNT Championship: Christian Cage w/ The Patriarchy VS Daniel Garcia; wins and
  • AEW Women’s World Championship: “Timeless” Toni Storm w/ Luther VS Deonna Purrazzo; wins and
  • AEW World Championship Triple Threat: Samoa Joe VS Swerve Strickland w/ Prince Nana VS Hangman Page; wins and
  • AEW World Tag Team Championships Tornado Tag Match: Sting & Darby Allin VS The Young Bucks; win and

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Revolution Zero Hour!

Join Renee Paquette and RJ City in discussing, analyzing and predicting the night that features Sting’s last match ever!

 

Tony Schiavone and David Crockett are here!

These two reunite in the Greensboro Arena, where so much of Sting’s iconic career took place. David says as we know, tonight is about family. The Young Bucks made this extremely personal when they attacked Sting’s sons, so what was to be a celebration of a great career has become a grudge match. There is purpose and revenge, Sting isn’t leaving until he finishes the job. Great years were spent here, the centerpiece of Jim Crockett Promotions and the NWA. Here on hallowed ground, from 1988 to 2024, Sting finishes his career here, live on PPV! Dial in, because there’ll be nothing else like it!

 

Zero Hour – 12 Man Tag: The Bang Bang Scissor Gang VS Willie Mack, Private Party & Team Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Karen Jarrett!

Jay White & Colten Gunn made it work with Daddy Ass, The Acclaimed made it work with Austin, and we have seen the entire six pack in action and win once before. Will this be another hit for the super group? Or will the mash-up of The Mack, Marq Quen, Isiah Kassidy, Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett & Satnam Singh destroy the dysfunctional half dozen?

“Platinum on the mic, I’ma ’bout to cook this! All these jobbers in the ring, who the hecc booked this? A Black guy, an Indian and Jeff in the mix, I just wanna know: whose fetish is this? You make my job easy when I’m rappin’, you’re like an offensive joke waitin’ to happen! The Bang Scissor- Sh*t!” Caster lost his flow three times in a row! Is #TriplePartyJay winning gonna open the show? Bowens still shouts, “GRRREENSBOROOO~! The Bang Bang Scissor Gang has arrived! Scissor me, Daddy Ass!” And he does~!

 


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Collision Results & Report! (3/2/24)

It’s an All-Star Collision!

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Who heads into Revolution with a win?

Just 24 hours before Revolution, AEW Collision has a Triple Threat Qualifier for the All Star Scramble! Penta VS Dante Martin VS Bryan Keith for the final spot!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Buddy Matthews VS ???; No Contest.
  • All-Star Scramble Qualifier Triple Threat: Penta El Zero Miedo VS Dante Martin VS Bryan Keith; Dante wins and advances to Revolution.
  • Mariah May VS Angelica Risk; Mariah wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn VS The Dark Order; The Acclaimed & Austin win.
  • Private Party VS Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal; Private Party wins.
  • Thunder Rosa VS Cassandra Golden; Rosa wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Trent Beretta, Hook & Daniel Garcia VS Christian Cage, Killswitch/Luchasaurus, Brian Cage & Roderick Strong; Christian, Luchasaurus, Cage & Strong win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Buddy Matthews VS ???

The House of Black’s Aussie Juggernaut opens Collision on Revolution Eve, but wait! Mark Briscoe drags Buddy out of the ring! The fans fire up but no, Mark is NOT Buddy’s opponent! This is revenge for the beatdown just last week! Mark SMACKS Buddy off the steel steps while the ref reprimands, but then Mark brings out a table! The fans fire up as Mark props that up against railing. But Buddy BOOTS Mark! And he SMACKS Mark off the steps! Buddy grabs a chair, but Mark kicks him low! Mark takes that chair and JAMS Buddy up with it! And SMACKS Buddy on the back! Mark tosses the chair into the ring, but Buddy knees low!

Buddy and Mark scrap, Mark ROCKS Buddy and slides into the ring. Mark then WRECKS Buddy with a dropkick! Buddy hits railing but Mark sets up the chair! Mark builds speed again and uses the chair to FLY! Direct hit, and through the table! The fans are thunderous as Mark rises up and high-fives the front row! Mark shoves Buddy into the ring, and he finds that spike! Mark storms into the ring with it, but Buddy asks for mercy! The fans say spoke him, but here comes Brody King! Brody drags Mark out, Malakai is also headed down here, but Mark dodges Brody to BOOT Malakai! Brody blocks the spike attack!

Brody choke grips Mark, but Mark LOW BLOWS him! Mark gets that chair again and he SMACKS away on Brody! Malakai runs up, but Mark uses the chair as a shield against the kicks! Malakai hobbles, Mark CHUCKS the chair into him! And Mark has the spike!! Mark storms up on Malakai while he’s down, and says this is payback! But then Buddy KNEES Mark down! Buddy saves Malakai, ROCKS Mark with forearms, then ROCKS him again. Buddy brings Mark up the ramp while throwing hands. Buddy underhooks, but Mark fights free! Mark back drops Buddy on the ramp! Then Mark CROSSBODIES Buddy down!

Mark still throws hands on Buddy, grabs something from the stage crew area, but Buddy storms up. Mark elbows Buddy away and- Wait, is that the switch for the pyro?! Mark presses a button, and the flames from Buddy’s entrance literally fire up! Buddy almost gets burned! Security rushes in but Mark keeps throwing Buddy around! Mark shoves Buddy to where the flamethrower is!! But then security swarms him before he can get the switch! The House regroups and retreats before facing disaster! Is Mark going to burn the House down with his own two hands?

 

Swerve Strickland speaks.

AEW shares footage from after Dynamite, The Realest having recovered from Hangman Page getting the jump on him. “I really don’t know what I should be pissed off at more: The fact that Hangman went out there and just ripped my $2,000 Jeff Hamilton exclusive jacket; or the fact that maybe I was just being a little too nice. I don’t really let my guard down too often, and in this business, you pay for it eventually. And it feels like I just paid for it. Swerve hung the Hangman and it was only right for the Hangman to swerve Swerve. You got me. I’ll never take my eyes off you ever again. This Sunday, you can’t get behind me. You gotta look me dead in my eye. I’m not gonna forget this.

“And as far as Joe, hm… I’m taking that championship. Whether I humiliate you on social media or in a promo, it doesn’t matter. I’m doing whatever it takes to walk out the historical figure of AEW, the first African American AEW World Champion. Whose house? Swerve’s House.” Angry yet focused, is Swerve truly the most dangerous man in that Triple Threat?

 

All-Star Scramble Qualifier Triple Threat: Penta El Zero Miedo VS Dante Martin VS Bryan Keith!

So far, it is Chris Jericho, Lance Archer, Will Hobbs, Wardlow, Hook, Brian Cage, and after last night’s Rampage, CMLL’s Magnus. One spot remains, will the eighth man have #CeroMiedo, represent Top Flight, or be looking for his next bounty?

The bell rings and the fans rally as the three stare down. The fans cheer for “CERO! MIEDO!” and Penta reminds Dante that they still owe each other. So listen! “CERO! MIEDO!” Penta pie faces Dante but then Keith shoves Penta. Penta takes the glove off! The fans fire up as Penta calls to Abrahantes, but then Keith HEADBUTTS Penta down! Then Dante SUPERKICKS Keith down! Penta gets up to SUPERKICK Dante! Penta KICKS Dante in a leg, KICKS Keith in a leg, “CERO! MIEDO!” Penta runs but into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Penta falls out, Keith DECKS Dante! Things get moving, Dante drops, hurdles then rolls back to headscissor! Then he dodges Keith to JUMP KNEE!

Keith falls out but Penta’s up top! Penta CROSSBODIES Dante, rolls off and keeps moving, SLINGBLADE! SLINGBLADE! Penta aims and KICKS Dante in the leg! Dante hobbles, Penta whips him to a corner but Dante reverses. Dante runs up, into a SUPERKICK! Penta then pops Dante up in the corner, SUPERKICK and BACKSTABBER! The fans fire up as Dante bails out and Penta takes aim. Penta builds speed but Keith is back to BOOT him! Fans are torn but Keith just reels Penta in. Keith underhooks but Penta wrenches out. Keith BOOTS the lariat away to then EXPLODER! Keith covers, TWO! Penta stays in this but also goes out of the ring.

Keith drags Penta back in, but Penta KICKS Keith in the leg! Keith CHOPS, so Penta CHOPS! Keith fires up and fires forearms! Penta wobbles but he ROCKS Keith again! They go forearm for forearm, Keith CHOPS and then DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Both men stay up so Dante DOUBLE CROSSBODIES them down! The fans fire up and Dante DIVES! Direct hit into Keith, then Dante runs to DIVE on Penta! The fans fire up again and Dante is feeling it as Collision goes picture in picture.

Dante drags Penta up, DECKS him with a forearm, then goes around the way. The fans fire up with Dante, but Keith BOOTS him down! Keith drags Dante up, CHOPS him, and Dante falls over. Keith turns around into Penta’s SUPERKICK! Penta drags Keith up, SMACKS him off the steps, then drags Dante up. Penta puts Dante against railing, hooks a leg around it, and KICKS! Penta assures the ref, he hit thigh and knee, not groin. Penta stands Keith up but Keith CLAWS Penta’s eyes! The ref reprimands but can’t do much more than that, and Keith KICKS Dante! Keith brings Dante up and into the ring.

Penta chicken wings Keith! Dante WRECKS Keith with a dropkick! But then Penta grabs Dante to spin him around on the apron, and KICK him back into the ring! The fans fire up with “CERO! MIEDO!” while Penta brings Keith into the ring. Penta keeps the chant going but Keith sits up with grit teeth. Keith seethes but Penta brings Dante up first. Collision returns to single picture as Penta CHOPS Dante! Dante CHOPS Penta! Then Dante CHOPS Keith! Keith CHOPS Dante and Penta! Penta SUPERKICKS Dante, Dante SUPERKICKS Keith, so Keith SUPERKICKS Penta! Then Keith and Penta DOUBLE SUPERKICK Dante!

Penta then kicks Keith low, reels him in, “CERO! MIEDO!” But Keith RAMS Penta into buckles! Keith fires off CHOPS and forearms! Penta shoves Keith away, but Keith comes back, only to be put up top. Keith HEADBUTTS Penta, reels him in, DIAMOND- NO, Penta stops that and Dante SUPERKICKS Keith! Penta uses Keith for a step, DESTROYER on Dante! Cover, Keith breaks it!! Keith saves Dante but also himself in this match, but “CERO! MIEDO!” continues to echo out in Huntsville. Keith storms up, but Penta KICKS and KICKS and “CERO! MIEDO!” Springboard, but into a BOOT!

Keith reels Penta in to underhook, but Penta fights free! Penta SUPERKICKS Keith, goes up a corner, but Keith RISING HEADBUTTS! Penta falls to the floor and Keith fires up! Keith snarls, storms up on Dante, but Dante catches him to a cradle! TWO, and Dante dodges Keith for the LEAPING sunset flip! Keith rolls through to KNEE! Underhook, TIGER DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Dante survives and the fans fire up again! Dante flounders around, Penta rises up, “This is Awesome!” Keith runs up but Penta GAMANGIRIS! Penta then brings Keith to the apron, but Keith CHOPS! Penta CHOPS back!

Keith snarls, Penta eggs him on, so Keith CHOPS! Penta CHOPS! Neither man is backing down, Keith throat chops! Then Keith fireman’s carries, but Penta fights free! Penta CLUBS away on Keith, reels him in, APRON FEAR FACTOR!! Keith falls to the floor and Penta puts him in. But Dante leaps from the corner! Penta SUPERKICKS Dante outta the air! Dante wobbles on the apron, but he still hurdles over Penta’s tackle! Penta turns around, into an APRON DESTROYER!! Dante hurries to go up a corner, aiming for Keith! MAMBA SPLASH!! Cover, Dante wins!!

Winner: Dante Martin, by pinfall (advances to Revolution)

A huge win for Angelo Dorado, he is the final man in the All-Star Scramble! Will Dante use his speed and agility to snatch that golden ticket to the top?

 

AEW shares more footage from after Dynamite.

AEW Media caught up with Hangman Page backstage, and asked him about the attack on Swerve. Is he really not hurt? Hangman asks back, “Do I look hurt, you dumbass?! I’m fine, I’m in the match, and I’m sorry I took advantage of the trust of the people tonight, but I had to do it! I had to do it! I would rather DIE than have Swerve win the world championship! I would rather DIE than not win it myself! I did what I had to do! He’s hurt! He’s hurt, he’s weakened, he can’t have it, he won’t have it! I won’t let him! I had to do it! I had to do it!” The Cowboy seems to think he had to do what he did, but what will he do in order to finish things at Revolution?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Revolution!

After going back and forth with Julia Hart & Skye Blue, Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale team together against The House of Black for a big Zero Hour tag match! Will the TBS Champion and her sidekick bring down the dynamic duo? Or will the Galaxy’s Greatest Babes with the Power prove The House does NOT always win? Plus, while The Bang Bang Scissor Gang tests out the combination of The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn tonight, they’re ALL going to team together against a rather eclectic six pack. Willie Mack, Private Party, Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett & Satnam Singh are teaming together, but will they be brought down by the AEW Trios & ROH World Six Man Tag Champions?

 

Mariah May VS Angelica Risk!

“Timeless” Toni Storm’s superfan and self-proclaimed protege is back in action, looking to keep her win streak going. Will this be the night she impresses the AEW Women’s World Champion? Or is she simply taking a risk?

The bell rings and Risk circles with Mariah. They tie up but Mariah kicks low! Mariah CLUBS Risk, puts her in a corner, and then puts some major stank on the DOUBLE CHOP! The fans cheer, Mariah stalks Risk to ropes and puts her through to pull her against the ropes! The ref reprimands and counts, Mariah lets go at 4. Risk sputters and coughs, but Mariah pulls her against ropes again! Mariah runs side to side to DROPKICK Risk in the back! Mariah winks to the camera and then brings Risk up. Mariah whips Risk to ropes, scoops her, and spins and spins and spins for the SIDEWALK SLAM!

Risk writhes while Mariah soaks up the cheers. Mariah blows a kiss to Nigel McGuiness and he is rather dramatic about it. Mariah smiles and goes back to Risk. Risk throws hands but Mariah CLUBS her down. Mariah puts Risk in a corner, then digs her boot in! The ref counts again, Mariah lets off at 4 and says she just deserves a slap on the wrist. Mariah then drags Risk up, snapmares her and runs, to basement dropkick! Risk flounders and Mariah shrugs. Mariah kicks Risk around, drags her up, but Risk ROCKS her with haymaker after haymaker! Mariah shoves Risk then DECKS her! Mariah runs up to KNEE Risk down!!

Mariah storms around, drags Risk back up and fireman’s carries, to hit MAYDAY! Cover, Mariah wins!

Winner: Mariah May, by pinfall

Nigel finishes marking out, and here comes Toni Storm! Storm goes right down to the ring and Mariah fangirls over her role model! Storm gets in the ring, but bypasses Mariah to get a mic. “Deonna Purrazzo, I must speak with you right now. Please come to the ring right this instance.” The Virtuosa does make her way out here, and storms right into the ring. Storm stays back and says, “Deonna, please. Hasn’t this gone far enough? Look at us! Look at what we’ve become. Is this really what we trained for? Is this really what we starved for, Deonna? Our friendship, destroyed. A new ta-too, a broken leg, a broken arm. All just to win a match. Is it worth it?” The fans sure think so! Storm isn’t so sure.

So Deonna, Storm says from the bottom of her heart, she loves Deonna. Her ability, her determination, and… that there is only room for one. And as long as Storm shall live and breath, it will never be Deonna! Deonna tells Toni, “I love you, too. I love… that you have your head so far up your own ass, you’re going to lose the one thing that started this entire charade to begin with! And I love, Toni, I love that you have forgotten the most important detail about me. I am the best friend and the worst enemy. I hope you have a bidet. It’s going to be really hard to wipe your ass when I break both of your arms!”

The fans fire up and Storm is unsure how to respond to that. But very well. Goodbye, old friend. Toni brings out lipstick to freshen up her make-up, and she kisses Deonna on the cheek to leave a mark. But Deonna fires forearms! They brawl, Deonna TACKLES Storm, and Mariah runs in to stop it! Mariah TOSSES Deonna away and helps Storm get away. But then Deonna runs up to BOOT Mariah! Deonna reels Mariah in and slashes her throat. This is for Storm! STORM ZERO on Mariah!! Deonna shows Storm that anything Storm can do, Deonna can do better. Will that also apply to being the AEW Women’s World Champion?

 

Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn VS The Dark Order!

While it was a bit rocky, Jay White & Colten Gunn made it work with Daddy Ass, so now the other half of the Bang Bang Scissor Gang gives it a go! And that means Platinum Max has a rap! “Bang Bang Scissor Gang, doing our thang!” But then Jay White gets too buddy buddy and it throws Caster off! Fans boo but White apologizes. Caster’s lost his window now, can he get back on the beat in the match? Bowens still says, “Huntsville, Alabamaaa~! The Bang Bang Scissor Gang has arrived! Scissor Me, Daddy Ass!” And he does~!

The trios sort out and Austin starts against Alex Reynolds. The two circle, feel things out, and tie up. They go around, Reynolds headlocks, but Austin wrenches out to headlock back. Reynolds powers up and out, drops down then swings, but Austin ducks ‘n’ dodges and trips Reynolds up! The fans cheer, Austin JABS, JABS, JABS and then two steps for the HAYMAKER! Tag to Caster, he and Austin double whip Reynolds to ropes. They DOUBLE HIP TOSS and we get a shot of “Juiceboard.” Caster brings Reynolds up but Reynolds RAMS him into Dark Order territory! Uno tags in, the Dark Order mugs Caster, but Caster fires off haymakers on them all!

Caster ROCKS Uno again and again, then dodges to DROPKICK! Reynolds runs up, but into a back drop! Silver runs in but into an atomic drop and RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Caster swaggers, but Uno stands up. Caster scoops to SLAM Uno, then tags in Bowens. Bowens tags Austin and Bowens goes up. Time to SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! The remix works just like the classic! Fans fire up as it’s guns and scissors up! But the flow is off again, and Silver BOOTS Bowens! Silver ELBOWS Austin, dodges Caster, and feed to Reynolds, POP-UP UPPERCUT! Uno runs to BOOT Austin then DDT him! Cover, TWO!

Austin stays in there for the BBSG but Uno stays on him with buckle bumps. The Dark Order isolates Austin as Collision goes picture in picture.

Uno DECKS Austin, mocks him as he crawls for the BBSG corner, then STOMPS the hand! Austin writhes, Uno tags Reynolds, and they get Austin up in an open corner. Uno CHOPS, Reynolds clotheslines, and then Reynolds snapmares to IMPLODER SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Austin hurries to ropes and the fans rally up. Reynolds storms up on Austin, taunts Billy & Colten, then tags in Silver. They double whip Austin to ropes to double drop toehold and DOUBLE BASEMENT DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Silver scowls as he stays between Austin and The Acclaimed. Silver sits Austin up to KICK!

Austin sputters, Silver KICKS him again! Then Silver sucker punches Bowens down! The ref reprimands while Collision goes to break.

Collision returns and Uno is again taunting Austin to tag his team. Uno then drags Austin up, whips him away, but Austin uses that to BLAST Silver & Reynolds! Uno blocks Austin’s kick but the ref refuses to play along! Uno is upset, but Austin gets a leg and he gives it to the ref! Now the ref is okay with it, and Austin hits the NECKBREAKER! The fans fire up while Austin and Uno are both down! Uno and Austin crawl, their teams reach for them, and Hot tags to Bowens and Reynolds! The Five Tool Player rallies on the Dark Order! ROLLING ELBOW for Uno! ROLLING ELBOW for Reynolds! Then Rock Paper Scissors SUPERKICK for Silver!

The fans fire up as Reynolds gets the same, plus the FAMOUSER BULLDOG! Bowens shouts, “EVERYONE! LOVES! THE ACCLAIMED! BANG BANG!” But then Uno drags Bowens out and POSTS him! Caster CLOBBERS Uno, fires off on him, but Silver DIVES! Down goes Caster, but Billy tells the Meat Man to watch himself. Silver just flexes and says, “I’m freakin’ jacked, baby!” Silver shoves Billy and the ref has to stop the rest of BBSG from going after Silver! But this lets Uno & Reynolds both get Caster up, and Silver runs in! PENDULUM BOMB!! Reynolds covers, AUSTIN BREAKS IT! What a save!

Uno CLUBS Austin, runs up, but Austin gets around the boot! Dragon sleeper, SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Austin says “SUCK IT!” but Silver tags in and CLOBBERS him! BOOT WASH to GERMAN SUPLEX! Silver & Reynolds have Bowens isolated! Silver clotheslines, GAMANGIRIS, and whips, but Bowens reverses! The ROLLING ELBOW from Reynolds hits Silver! Bowens tags Caster, then clinch for THE ARRIVAL! Caster is up top, MIC DROP!! Cover, BBSG wins!

Winners: The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn, by pinfall

Jay White slides in to give the boys their belts, and he scissor fingers with Caster. The gang makes it work again, and look ready for Revolution’s 12 Man Tag! Will the super group be unstoppable despite the dysfunction?

 

Backstage interview with Kris Statlander, Willow Nightingale & Stokely Hathaway.

Speaking of dysfunction, Lexi Nair is with the trio of Galaxy’s Greatest Babes with the Power and their manager, nothing the loss to Skye Blue just on Dynamite. However, they do have the tag team match against Skye & Julia tomorrow night, are they having a different tactic going into it? Stokely wants to “address the elephant in the room” and go with the word of the day, “accountability.” He was watching a lot of The View, he is a Whoopi stan, so hey, he just wants to say sorry. Willow says put apologies aside. No more talking, they need to get on the same page. Tomorrow is not about friendship, it is about Revolution!

Willow warns Julia & Skye, “Stat and I are gonna kick your ass!” The Babe with the Power has flipped the switch from happy to angry, is tomorrow night’s Zero Hour going to be the last time the House of Black gets the better of her and Statlander?

 

Tony Schiavone is in the ring.

He brings in one of the men who gets a chance at an AEW World Championship opportunity in the All-Star Scramble. It is the one and only… WARDLOW! The Undisputed Kingdom’s War Dog makes his way to the ring and he just takes the mic away. “You know the deal.” Schiavone bows out and Wardlow says, “Looks like I finally got somebody’s attention around here, huh?” Fans sound a bit torn but Wardlow says, “Two years ago, I won the Face o the Revolution Ladder match. One year ago, I choked out your King. This year, FINALLY, I get my shot at the world heavyweight championship, after I beat all the other ‘all-stars’ in the match.”

Fans boo but Wardlow says the real question is: Who’s it gonna be? Wardlow VS Hangman? He’ll slap the Cowboy’s mustache into the third row and send him back into depression! Wardlow VS Swerve? The fans like him, right? It’s Swerve’s House, right? Wardlow will kick the door of that house down and whoop Swerve’s ass from the basement to the attic, because nobody else gets to eat before him! So swerve back into your lane and dance your ass to the back of the line! Swerve’s House only exists in Wardlow’s World! Maybe it’ll be Wardlow VS Joe. The fans chant for “JOE! JOE! JOE!” but Wardlow says he is so sick hearing these “dumb hillbillies” chant for Joe!

Wardlow says that he hopes it IS Joe! Because everybody knows that Joe is in Wardlow’s spot! And this time, Wardlow will finish the job. Not only is Wardlow going to take his spot, take his title, but beat Joe so badly that Joe will be forced to put on a headset and sit at the announce desk where he belongs! YEAH, Wardlow is him! He’s been him, will always be him! And tomorrow night, Wardlow reminds everyone that he is STILL the Face of the Revolution! Wardlow is the Uncrowned King of AEW, because this is no longer wrestling! This is WAR! But wait! Here comes Chris Jericho!

Wardlow huffs and puffs as The Ocho makes his way out here, mic in his own hand. Jericho asks a question: What exactly is Wardlow going on about? Swerve, Hangman and Joe? They are all great competitors, but Wardlow’s not fighting those three! He’s in the Scramble, and maybe you don’t know Jericho, but he’s not an all-star, he is one of the greatest to ever do this! And if Wardlow thinks he’ll just pass over him and six other men, six of the greatest performers worldwide, here’s some information for you. Jericho is the Ocho because he is an eight-time world champion, and the very-first AEW World Champion!

The fans cheer and Wardlow mockingly claps. Jericho says that makes the score 8-0 in Jericho’s favor cuz Wardlow ain’t won sh*t. The fans cheer that! So before Wardlow disrespects Jericho and says he’ll go right to the top, Jericho will remind Wardlow that it’s been four YEARS since Jericho lost that title to Jon Moxley in one of the greatest matches in AEW history, and Jericho hasn’t had even a chance to get it back, or even sniff it. So tomorrow at Revolution, this isn’t just another match for Jericho, this is a chance for him to get back to where he thinks he can be, to where he knows he can be, and that is the AEW World Championship!

Jericho knows he’s good enough. The question is: Is Wardlow? Wardlow chuckles but Jericho says Wardlow’s complaining about being overlooked and pushed aside. Thousands of people used to chant Wardlow’s name, he had a rocket that was put on upside-down, blah blah blah. Does Wardlow think that maybe it wasn’t any of those things? Maybe the people stopped chanting because Wardlow just wasn’t good enough. Maybe it’s that aren’t as good as you think, “Mike.” Wardlow scowls at Jericho using his first name. But y’know what, Chris? You’re right. Because Wardlow was this close to the top of the mountain that he could smell it.

But after Double or Nothing, Wardlow shows up for work, just to take a step backwards. And then the next week, another step, and another, and another. So yeah, that pisses Wardlow off to the point that he let it eat him away, to where he was taking work home and he let it ruin his personal life. Wardlow lost his best friend to this, and he lost himself! But after sitting at home for three MONTHS with no phone call, Wardlow slowly started to remember who he was. And he did what he have done so many times in his life: pick himself up off the floor, put himself back together, and then came back here to remind ALL OF YOU just who the hell he is!

BECAUSE HE IS WARDLOW! The biggest and baddest SOB to ever step into the ring! And he doesn’t give a DAMN what your name is, how many titles you’ve won, and just like he said last week, Wardlow is done eating the scraps! The fans fire up as Wardlow says if Jericho doesn’t think Wardlow’s good enough, well, Wardlow’s right here. Feel free to come down and show Wardlow so Wardlow can remind Jericho! Oh, if Wardlow wants Jericho to prove something, fine. Jericho will take that rocket off his back and shove it up his ass! Right, Huntsville? But wait! HOBBS CLOBBERS JERICHO! Wardlow chuckles, but Hobbs says watch this!

Hobbs rains down fists on Jericho, then tells Wardlow that HOBBS is the biggest and baddest! Fans boo but Hobbs says they’ve got one more day before this happens! The fans chant for “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” The Scramble is beefy, will it be one of the behemoths that comes out on top?

 

Backstage interview with Serena Deeb.

Lexi is now with the Professor of Pro-Wrestling, and says she is arguably the most experienced woman in the AEW locker room today. And currently, she is undefeated. But we’ve also seen a new side of her. Tell us just what’s going on. Deeb says not only is she undefeated in her return, she is undeniable and unstoppable. She’s putting on clinic after clinic every single week. And to be honest, no one’s really even challenged her in the ring yet. And that makes sense, because she is the Professor, the Woman of 1000 Holds. To be honest, she doesn’t think the competition she’s faced so far knows the difference between a wristlock and wristwatch.

So if you’re listening, if you’re watching, and if you consider yourself one of the best, step into Deeb’s Dojo and test yourself against the most elite wrestler. She’ll be here each and every week showing the world that nobody does what she does in that ring, and why Deeb is The Final Boss. A huge challenge has been issued, will anyone step up?

 

Private Party VS Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal!

Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy want to finally be at the top of the AEW Tag Division, but they’ve got to keep up the pace if they wanna reach it. Will they do just that against the Fallen Angel & Zen Assassin? Or will the former ROH World Tag Team Champions show them what it takes to really get there?

The teams sort out and Sydal starts against Zay. They circle and talk trash, Zay blaming Sydal for the loss in the Trios Triple Threat while Sydal says he was carrying Private Party. The two shove, then Sydal arm-drags! Sydal taunts Zay, dodges him, then tilt-o-whirls to RANA! Sydal then ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA again! The fans fire up and Sydal runs up again. Tilt-o-whirl ARM-DRAG! Quen runs in, but into an arm-drag! Then Daniels gets in to arm-drag Quen! Zay arm-drags Daniels, but Sydla arm-drags Zay! The teams regroup and the fans cheer but the ref wants everyone to calm down. Quen and Daniels back off, but then Sydal and Zay tag them in.

The fans cheer as Daniels and Quen circle now. Quen is annoyed by how many are cheering for Daniels and not him. Quen and Daniels then tie up, Quen headlocks, but Daniels throws body shots. Daniels powers out, Quen rolls over the dropdown and starts up the “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” chant. Daniels smirks, runs up, but Quen trips him up! Quen speeds up, steps over Daniels, “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” Daniels is annoyed but he runs up. Quen bypasses but Daniels steps on him now! Daniels says “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” but then wags his fingers. He does the Curry Man Dance! The fans cheer but Quen runs up, into a hip toss!

Tag to Sydal, he and Daniels mug Quen, then Sydal whips Quen into a corner for the GAMANGIRI! Daniels feeds Quen to the ROUNDHOUSE then adds an STO! Sydal gets the fans fired up for the STANDING MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO! Sydal taunts Quen, brings him up, and KCIKS a leg! Tag to Daniels, he and Sydal double wrench Quen to bring him to his knees. Sydal KICKS and Daniels BLINDSIDE LARIATS! Cover, TWO! Quen stays in this and Collision goes picture in picture.

Daniels is annoyed but he brings Quen up to headlock. Quen powers out, drops down, and Zay gets a cheap shot in! Zay gets away from Daniels, and Quen DROPKICKS Daniels down! Daniels ends up on the apron, Zay tags in so he can jump in, springboard and STUNNER Daniels off the apron! Daniels staggers around, Zay distracts the ref so Quen can CLOBBER Daniels! Zay goes out to shine Daniels’ head, then put him in the ring. Zay stomps Daniels, then puts him in a corner. Zay stomps a mudhole now, then tags Quen. Private Party says “STOMPS! STOMPS! STOMPS!” but they stop as the ref counts.

Quen kick steps and rolls back to taunt Sydal, then goes back for Daniels. Quen UPPERCUTS Daniels, puts him in the corner, and digs his boot in. The ref counts, Quen lets off at 4, but Zay CHOKES Daniels behind the ref’s back! Sydal protests but that only lets Zay do more! Zay lets off in time, then tags in. Private Party whip Daniels to atomic drop and ENZIGIRI! Quen then sweeps Daniels’ legs and Zay adds the HIP DROP, into a CAMEL CLUTCH! Quen runs to LEAP FROG STOMP, and then Zay BLASTS Sydal off the apron! Sydal is furious and the ref reprimands Private Party, but they just soak up the heat.

Zay brings Daniels up but Daniels throws body shots and forearms! Daniels runs but Zay LARIATS him down! Zay stays between Daniels and his corner, then he brings Daniels up to snapmare and chinlock. Zay grinds Daniels down, Daniels endures, and Collision returns to single picture. Sydal coaches Daniels as he fights up, and Daniels throws body shots. Zay CLUBS away on Daniels, shines the bald head, then kicks low. But Daniels stops the Twist of Fate! Zay comes back, into a FLATLINER! Both men are down and the fans rally up! Zay and Daniels crawl, hot tags to Quen and Sydal! Sydal DROPKICKS Quen!

Sydal JUMP KICKS Quen, ROUNDHOUSES him, then JUMP KICKS Zay! Sydal KICKS Quen, KICKS Zay, repeat! The fans fire up, Sydal dodges Private Party and DOUBLE RANAS! Then QUESTION MARK KICK for Zay! Quen swings but Sydal gets under to wrench and lift, AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO! Quen is still in this and Sydal grows frustrated. Sydal basement dropkicks Zay into buckles, then he runs corner to corner at Quen. Quen dodges and the splash hits buckles! Zay runs in, but Sydal BOOTS! Sydal runs up but Kassidy ducks, Quen BOOTS Sydal! Quen reels Sydal in, Kassidy goes up, but SWANTON NECKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up and Quen can’t believe it! Quen calls to Zay, they get Sydal up to mug him. Private Party double whip, Sydal KICKS Quen then HEEL KICKS Zay, and a ROUNDHOUSE to Quen! Tag to Daniels and he JABS away on Private Party. Quen kicks low, Private Party double whip, but Daniels ducks the lariats! Sydal & Daniels LARIAT Private Party! The fans fire up as Sydal goes up and Daniels brings Quen around. Daniels underhooks but Kassidy saves Quen! Quen back drops free! Sydal leaps over Quen to METEORA Zay! Daniels is back up, but Quen dodges to Michael Jackson “HEE HEE~,” only for Daniels to dodge the Pele!

Daniels reels Quen in for ANGEL’S WINGS!! Cover, but wait, who’s storming down the ramp? It’s TRIPLE J! Jeff Jarrett and Sonjay Dutt distract the ref, while Jay Lethal gets in to give Daniels a LETHAL COMBINATION! Lethal drags Quen onto Daneils and now the ref sees the cover, Private Party wins!

Winners: Private Party, by pinfall

Quen & Zay get an assist from their future tag partners in Revolution’s 12 Man Tag! Sonjay does his best to dance to the music, but will this dirty half dozen find a way to beat all the Six Man Champions tomorrow night?

 

Thunder Rosa VS Cassandra Golden!

Serena Deeb may be undefeated in her return, but so has La Mera Mera! The former AEW Women’s World Champion wants to get some gold again, will she make it 5-0 in 2024? Or will this Collision be Golden?

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally as the two tie up and ago around. Golden shoves Rosa away, but Rosa shrugs that off. Golden runs in but Rosa gets her in a facelock! Rosa throws knees into Golden, but Golden powers up to throw Rosa away! Golden runs up, Rosa dodges the boot to BOOT Golden! Rosa eggs Golden on, then CHOPS her! And LARIATS her! Rosa fires up and the fans are with her! Rosa kicks Golden around, asks who is questioning her return, then bumps Golden off buckles. Rosa CHOPS, then CHOPS again! The fans fire up as Rosa stands Golden up and CHOPS again! Rosa then brings Golden around, fireman’s carries, but Golden fights free!

Golden ROCKS Rosa and Rosa staggers to a corner. Golden runs in, but Rosa dodges to SHOTGUN Golden down! The fans fire up and Rosa runs corner to corner to HYDRAULIC DROPKICK! Rosa pushes Golden out of the corner, climbs up the corner, and she DOUBLE DIVING STOMPS! Golden writhes but Rosa still keeps on her! COBRA CLUTCH STRETCH! Golden taps, Rosa wins!

Winner: Thunder Rosa, by submission

That’s a new twist to La Mera Mera’s arsenal! And she says it’s story time! “I’m still here, right? La Mera Mera hasn’t left. I know you wanna push me aside, but I won’t back down. Because it’s my time. And remember, get a little closer, because you’re gonna get burned!” Is nothing and no one going to stop Rosa from taking a title in 2024?

 

8 Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Trent Beretta, Hook & Daniel Garcia VS Christian Cage, Killswitch/Luchasaurus, Brian Cage & Roderick Strong!

There are many titles on the line this Sunday, and the AEW International Championship and AEW TNT Championships are no exception! Freshly Squeezed will be facing the Savior of the Backbreaker while Captain Charisma will be facing the Dragonslayer, and let’s not forget the Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil and Machine are both in the All-Star Scramble! Which quirky quartet captures some critical momentum just 24 hours away from Revolution?

The teams sort out and while Garcia is glaring at Christian, Christian of course backs down. Instead, we get Brian Cage and #JustTrent. They tie up, Cage shoves Trent to a corner but Trent dodges the clothesline. Trent CHOPS, Cage runs up but Trent dodges again to headlock. Cage powers up and powers out, then he runs Trent over! “Who betta than Cage, huh!?” Trent scrambles to his feet, talks it over with his corner, and tags in Garcia! Garcia dares Christian to step up but it’s Roddy who tags in instead. Roddy and Garcia circle but Roddy SPITS at Cassidy! Cassidy leaves that alone so Roddy and Garcia tie up.

Roddy and Garcia go around, Roddy wrenches through to wristlock. Garcia rolls, rolls and rolls to get free! The fans cheer as Garcia wags his finger. Garcia and Roddy feel things out, tie up, and Roddy wrenches to wrangle Garcia with another wristlock. Garcia fights up, but Roddy wrenches again. Garcia grabs at Roddy for a clinch, pushes him around and turns him, then slips to a headlock! The fans cheer this technical exchange as Roddy pries at the hold. Roddy pops out the back to headlock and hit the takeover. Garcia headscissors, Roddy moves around, and Roddy turns Garcia over. Roddy then ties the legs up, and he smacks Garcia on the head.

The fans boo but Roddy stares Garcia down. Garcia stands, they tie up, and go around. Garcia puts Roddy in a corner, the ref counts, and Garcia lets off slowly, to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP again! Garcia whips corner to corner, runs up and clotheslines, then brings Roddy in! Garcia lifts but Cage makes the save! So Garcia fires shots on Cage! Cage takes a swing but Garcia ducks, and Hook is there to ROCK Cage! They pinball Cage around, then Roddy runs in. Garcia sends Roddy into Cage, then UPPERCUTS Roddy! Garcia feeds Roddy to Hook’s SAYANAGI! The young studs fist bump and the fans cheer.

The ref wants someone to get in, so Killswitchasaurus and Captain Charisma step up! Cage also joins in, but then Cassidy & Trent back Hook and Garcia up! The fans fire up for the stare down, Collision goes picture in picture.

The ref has everyone cool off, but Christian still swipes at Garcia. Garcia kicks at Christian but this boils back down to just Garcia and Roddy. Roddy tags Cage back in, he circles with Garcia. They tie up, Cage RAMS Garcia into a corner! And again, and again! Cage then CHOPS Garcia while Prince Nana talks trash. Cage soaks up the heat, runs corner to corner, but Garcia BOOTS him! Cage tries again but Garcia dropkicks the legs out! Cage hits buckles, Garcia does his dance! Then Garcia BOOT WASHES Cage halfway out the ring! Garcia drags Cage up, UPPERCUTS him, then whips Cage to ropes. Cage reverses and Christian gets a cheap shot in!

Garcia swings on Christian but Christian scurries away, and then Cage CLOBBERS Garcia! Cage tags Roddy and Roddy drags Garcia up to CHOP him in a corner. And CHOP again! Roddy brings Garcia around, tags in Luchasaurus, and they mug Garcia. Luchasaurus scoops to SNAKE EYES Garcia, then runs to CLOBBER him! Luchasaurus stays between Garcia and his team, then drags Garcia up. Luchasaurus TOSSES Garcia to the corner, fires off body shots and an UPPERCUT, then tags in Christian. Now the Patriarch of AEW wants after Garcia, and he CHOKES Garcia against ropes as Collision goes to break!

Collision returns and Cage has Garcia in an open corner. Cage whips corner to corner, gets the Terminator drums started, then runs in. Cage blocks a boot to ROCK Garcia! Cage then scoops Garcia, but Garcia slips fere to shove him into the corner! Garcia climbs up on Cage and he rains down fists! The fans count along, but Cage shoves Garcia down at 6! Cage then drags Garcia up for the deadlift SUPERPLEX! Cage shouts, “Who betta than Cage?!” Fans boo but Cage tags Roddy. Roddy deadlifts Garcia for a BACKBREAKER! Roddy stomps Garcia, tags Christian, and they stomp Garcia together while fans boo.

Christian keeps Garcia from his team, puts him back int he corner and CHOPS! Tag back to Roddy, he CHOPS Garcia! Roddy CHOPS again, then tags Cage. The stomping resumes, and then Cage drags Garcia up. Cage RAMS Garcia into the corner, RAMS him again, then soaks up the heat. But Garcia fires off hands on the rest! Luchasaurus grabs Garcia by the neck, but Garcia HOTSHOTS the arm! Fans fire up, Cage runs in, but Garcia leaps at him! Cage picks Garcia up to suplex, but Garcia DDT COUNTERS! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! Hot tag to Roddy and he hurries, but hot tag to Trent!

Trent rallies on Roddy as revenge for what The Undisputed Kingdom has been up to! Roddy swings, Trent dodges to METEORA! Christian gets in, but he gets a GERMAN SUPLEX! Trent holds on, GERMAN SUPLEX again! Then the HALF ‘N’ HALF! Fans fire up as Trent dodges Roddy and gives him a TORNADO DDT! Trent builds speed and he DIVES, into Luchasaurus’ hands! APRON CHOKE SLAM! Trent flops back down and Luchasaurus snarls. Roddy and Christian regroup with the team as Luchasaurus puts Trent in. Roddy stomps Trent, then digs his boot in. Trent goes to the apron but Roddy uses that to ROPE GUILLOTINE!

The fans boo and Trent flounders, but Collision again goes picture in picture.

Trent sputters, but Cage stomps him on the apron! The ref is too busy with Trent’s team as they protest so Cage gets away with that. Luchasaurus then CHOPS Trent in a corner! And ROCKS him! And stomps him! Luchasaurus drags Trent up, whips him corner to corner hard, and Trent tumbles up and out to the floor! Luchasaurus roars, Trent sputters, and the ref is busy with Cassidy so Christian gets a cheap shot in! Roddy wants one but the ref is paying attention to them by then. Luchasaurus fetches Trent into the ring, then keeps him from his corner with a chinlock. Luchasaurus CLUBS away on Trent’s chest!

Luchasaurus drags Trent up, tags in Christian, and The Patriarchy mugs Trent. Christian snapmares Trent and then claws at Trents’ face! The ref reprimands, Christian lets off to stare Garcia down, but Garcia almost gets a shot in! Christian taunts Garcia, brings Trent up, but Trent throws a forearm! Christian ROCKS Trent in return, then clamps on a SLEEPER! Trent sputters and Collision returns to single picture as the fans rally up. Trent fights as Christian squeezes tight, and Trent throws body shots! The fans fire up as Trent runs, but into a kick! Then a REVERSE DDT! Fans boo but Christian goes up a corner. Christian DIVING HEADBTT FLOPS as Trent moves!

The fans fire up while both men are down! Trent and Christian crawl, their teams reach out, hot tag to Roddy, and he CLOBBERS Trent to deny Cassidy! The fans boo as Roddy mocks the hands up and hands into pockets. Trent crawls while Roddy gives him the “devastating” kicks a la Cassidy. The fans boo as Roddy stomps Trent, then hauls him up and around, for a BOSTON CRAB! But Trent rolls right through to BOOT Roddy away! Hot tags to Cage and Cassidy! Cassidy ducks Cage to bump him off buckles! He does the same to Christian! Then another for Cage! Cassidy climbs to CROSSBODY Christian!

Cassidy SHOTGUNS Luchasaurus, dodges Cage and tilt-o-whirls, only for Cage to stop the DDT! But then STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE hits! Cassidy DIVES onto Roddy, goes back in and tilt-o-whirl DDTS Cage! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives and Roddy shouts at Cassidy, “You want some?!” But it’s Luchasaurus who grabs Cassidy! And Garcia! But they break free, dodge Luchasaurus, and ORANGE PUNCH! SHINING WIZARD! Roddy gives Cassidy a SICK KICK! But Garcia CHOPS and SLAPS Roddy over and over! Then SAIDO! Christian SPEARS Garcia! But Hook clinches, EL CAMINO! The fans fire up but Cage aims at Hook!

Hook swings on Cage, but into a FULL NELSON SLAM!! Cassidy runs in, but into an F5!! Cover, Garcia AND Hook break it! The fans fire up, Luchasaurus reaches out to tag in off Cage. Hook is still after Cage, Garcia joins in, but Luchasaurus grabs Cassidy. Trent goes after Luchasaurus and now Best Friends mug him! Roddy gets up, Cassidy BLASTS him off the apron! Cassidy DIVES, but into END OF HEARTACHE!! Cage powers out, but Hook & Garcia dodge to DOUBLE LARIAT him and themselves out of the ring! Trent is on Luchasaurus with a SLEEPER BACKPACK, and he’s bringing the dinosaur to his knees!

The fans fire up but Luchasaurus pries at the hold. Luchasaurus has a second wind and he THROWS Trent away! Roddy’s got Cassidy down in the Strong Hold!! Trent stagger sup, into the JURASSIC HEADBUTT! Luchasaurus snarls, dares Trent to get up, and then choke grips, for the JURASSIC CHOKE- VICTORY ROLL!! TWO!!! Luchasaurus escapes, Trent SUPERKICKS him! Luchasaurus stays up, so Trent SUPERKICKS again! Luchasaurus flounders, Trent aims from the corner, but Christian runs up! Trent DECKS Christian, but Nick Wayne CLUBS Trent! EXTINCTION LARIAT!! Cover, Patriarchy and friends win!

Winners: Christian Cage, Luchasaurus, Brian Cage & Roderick Strong, by pinfall

All the extra help on the outside steered things in their direction, and now the TNT Champion has momentum going into Revolution! Taven & Bennett then show up so they can help Roddy mug Cassidy! The Undisputed Kingdom vows Cassidy won’t even make it to tomorrow night! Cage and Hook brawl, Luchasaurus & Christian mug Trent! Cage whips Hook hard into railing! Luchasaurus & Nick get chairs for Papa Christian and Matthew Menard shouts from commentary! Daddy Magic storms in, but Luchasaurus HEADBUTTS him down! Then Luchasaurus gives Menard the FULL METAL CHOKE SLAM!!

Menard writhes as the chair is bent from his body hitting it! Hook baits Cage in and sends him into steps! Christian is still after Garcia, but Hook leaps to LARIAT Cage down! The Undisputed Kingdom has let off of Cassidy, but Garcia turns things around on Christian! Garcia CLUBS away on Christian and chases him up the ramp! Then he sends Christian into the LED screen! It is still chaos up and down and all around ringside, but will Christian survive Red Death to still be TNT Champion? Does Cassidy stand a chance of retaining the International Championship when he can barely stand on his own two feet? All this and more will be answered tomorrow night at Revolution!


My Thoughts:

A great Collision here, especially as the go-home to Revolution. I like the move of Mark attacking Buddy to “cancel a match,” and then Mark became a one man wrecking crew to really escalate things between him and The House of Black. I’m thinking if Mark doesn’t get allies to help him, then he should have some sort of three match series with The House. Mark will face each member 1v1, from Buddy to Brody to Malakai, and who knows how that goes, but Mark beating Malakai would be a good blowoff that also gets Mark towards a title story for the Summer. And really good promos from Swerve and Hangman to top off things for Revolution, with Hangman having a rather manic and desperate take on being a Face turning Heel. That’s a much more realistic turn in his character rather than the usual “I’m just a bad guy now” kind of stuff.

Really good segment from Wardlow, Jericho and Hobbs. While it’s not really good that Tony Khan books his people into these positions where their characters are always going, “It’s about time I get to do something in this company!” at least Wardlow is making the most of it with how passionate that promo was. And then while Jericho maybe goes one line too long for his part, at least Hobbs just beats Jericho down to make his point. Go-home math probably doesn’t work here, Jericho isn’t suddenly going to win out just because of this. I am still going with Wardlow as first pick, Hobbs as second.

Speaking of the Scramble, great Triple Threat, and a great win for Dante. I did not expect that, I really thought it was gonna be Penta, but Dante is another great high-flyer to get in on a rather bulky field. Great win for Mariah May, though I don’t think her matches have really gone long enough to showcase everything she can do. But it was also a great segue for Storm and Deonna to have their final face to face. Deonna stands tall because she puts the hurt on Mariah, that makes me think Storm retains and we slowly turn the corner to where Mariah gets fed up with Storm not caring about her at all, despite taking all these hits for her.

Great win for Thunder Rosa, and her little mini-promo after was really good, too. Again, feels like a case parallel to Wardlow about being a little annoyed at having to wait for stuff. Rosa did show up during the hype towards Collision’s debut, but then was not on a single Collision for months. Good promo from Deeb, too, and I want to say her saying “Final Boss” is some plug for Mercedes Mone to show up and be “THE Boss,” what with Big Business in Boston happening in a couple weeks. And apparently we’re not getting a TBS Championship or even a contender’s match. However, perhaps Willow & Kris VS Julia & Skye establishes someone as a #1 contender through the rankings to build towards the next PPV.

Really good stuff out of Bang Bang Scissor Gang, including their use of dysfunction within the group. They still win out because sadly, The Dark Order’s resurgence was only on ROH and then they got brought back to AEW just to eat losses. But with this being the second week in a row Caster can’t get a rap out, something is about to fall apart between the BBSG, whether we want it to or not. Meanwhile, Triple J helps Private Party win, maybe Jeff Jarrett wants to try and make a super group of his own. And apparently Lethal is onboard, because last we saw they were still arguing, so maybe Revolution swaps a super group we want for one that doesn’t make sense.

And great 8 Man Tag main event with a lot of stories plugged at once. The Heels winning made sense, and Trent taking the loss while Luchasaurus gets the win also makes sense. The math isn’t really affected by that necessarily, because then the chaotic brawl happens and we get varied results. Cassidy was beat down, so I’d think he beats Roddy. Meanwhile, Garcia threw Christian down before cameras cut away, so I guess that means Christian finds a way to win. Which makes sense, we just saw how Christian has three minions and Garcia only has Daddy Magic watching his back. That is, if Edge doesn’t show up to help Garcia.

Adam Copeland costing Christian the title rather than taking it himself would be good stuff for their feud, which doesn’t even really need the title. Edge VS Christian, The Final Chapter, just needs Luchasaurus to man up and turn on Christian and weaken the Patriarchy.

My Score: 8.8/10


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