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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/28/22)

It’s RAW-stleMania!

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WWE Raw 2022

It’s a mighty Monday night before Mania!

We’re on the homestretch to WrestleMania, so WWE is giving us a WrestleMania level Raw! Will the action start early in one last Lesnar-Reigns face-off?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS The Miz w/ Logan Paul; Rey wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Omos VS The Viking Raiders; Omos wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Love is in the Air: Dana Brooke retains the title.
  • 8 Woman Tag: Sasha Banks, Naomi, Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan VS Queen Zelina Vega, Carmella, Shayna Baszler & Natalya; Sasha, Naomi, Rhea & Liv win.
  • Ricochet VS Austin Theory; Theory wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Drew McIntyre VS Happy Corbin & Mad Cap Moss; McIntyre wins.
  • RKBRO VS The Usos; RKBRO wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

BROCK LESNAR is here!

Pittsburgh fires up because The Beast is back again! He waves his hat to the crowd and passes by the joint RawDown commentary. After a SmackDown recap video, Lesnar is in the ring and he has a mic. “Good evening, Pittsburgh. Your WWE Champion is in the house. I’m sorry I gotta do this. Y’see, for the last 20 years, that loudmouth Paul Heyman has been doing all the yapping for me, but I gotta do this for you tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw! That felt good but it felt like it sucked. I won’t be doing that again. But what i don’t suck at is handing out country ass-kickings.”

Lesnar says Sunday, WrestleMania 38, he’ll spoil his game plan here. HE has a hard time doing it but he will. Sunday, the spoiler is, they’ll take a trip down memory lane. Yeah, play along if you want. They’re going to take a trip down the streets of Suplex City, and then Lesnar will introduce Roman to the Beast of Broadway. And after that, “What?” They’ll go to the carnival, “WHAT?” and take a ride on the F5. No one survives riding the F5. And Steve will be there, too. Steve Austin is an ass-kicker, too, but he never kicked Lesnar’s ass. Okay, enough of that. After the carnival ride, this is where the party really starts!

“Roman, we’re gonna hit a wedding. We’re gonna be wedding crashers. My title is gonna marry your title. And it’s gonna have a baby! The Unified Title. And I get full custody.” Fans cheer that on and Lesnar holds up the world title. “I’m in a great mood tonight, because y’know why? At six days, in WrestleMania, I finally get my hands on Roman Reigns.” There’s no more running, nowhere to hide! This Sunday, WrestleMania, Lesnar will stand above Roman with two titles, and raise them to the sky. They will say, “Ladies and gentlemen, your NEW! REIGNIN! DEFENDING! UNIFIED! HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD! BRRROCK! LESNAR!!” Will The Beast plant Suplex City right onto the Island of Relevancy?

 

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS The Miz w/ Logan Paul!

Before going 2v2 at WrestleMania, the King of Lucha and the Hollywood A-Lister face off here 1v1! Will Rey finally get a small portion of payback on Miz before getting the whole thing this weekend? Or will Miz make sure the Most Must-See Tag Team has all the momentum?

Raw returns and Miz has the mic and a smug grin. “I imagine Rey Mysterio has an incredible outfit planned for WrestleMania. Rey Mysterio has so many amazing outfits and masks. Y’know, my persona favorite mask of Rey Mysterio’s is the one I took from him last week!” And surely, Rey is livid and wants that mask back, but Miz gave that to the REAL greatest luchador in history! Please welcome “Lucha Logan!” Logan Paul handsprings out, wearing Rey’s stolen mask! Logan gets in the ring, high fives Miz, but Steel City boos. Miz introduces the greatest luchador ever, Lucha Logan, again.

Miz says unmasking Rey was the most disrespectful thing he could do. But when you don’t get respect that you’ve earned, you take it! Miz will keep taking it! He wants a mask of his own! Imagine these two guys wearing Rey Mysterio masks on the Grandest Stage of Them All! Whatever mask Rey is wearing tonight, Miz will take! But then the Mysterios interrupt Miz with their entrance! Rey brought his Batman mask, because he’s here for vengeance! Rey & Dom get in and Dom TACKLES Miz! Rey runs off “Lucha Logan” and demands he get that mask back! Miz bails out, Logan gets in, Dom rushes at Logan!

Logan bails out again and he regroups with Miz. “That close!” But then the ref EJECTS Dominik!? Fans boo, Dom has no choice but to storm back up the ramp, and now Rey is alone against the two biggest jerks in WWE today! Does he stand a chance in this unofficial handicap match?

The bell rings, Miz KNEES and CLUBS Rey, then ROCKS him to a corner. Miz whips corner to corner, Rey goes up and over, and then KICKS! Rey CLUBS away, whips, but Miz reverses. Rey tilt-o-whirl headscissors Miz away! Rey runs, ducks an dodges Miz, then baseball slides at Logan! Logan runs, Rey follows, Miz TACKLES Rey into barriers! And then DDT to the floor! Logan is laughing and high-fiving Miz as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns, Miz has Rey up top, and Miz rips at the mask! The ref counts, Rey throws body shots then headbutts Miz down! Rey adjusts, leaps, SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, he fires forearms and CHOPS! Rey whips, Miz sunset flips but Rey rolls through to BUZZSAW! Logan coaches Miz but fans fire up for Rey. Rey tells Logan he’s gonna get this, and then he throws knees into Miz. Rey whips, Miz reverses to kick and reel Rey in. Miz lifts, rebounds Rey off ropes, but Rey sunset flips through! REY WINS!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

Logan is upset but Rey glares back at him. And DOM returns to put Logan in! Drop toehold onto ropes! The Mysterios dial it up, but Logan flops out to escape! But Rey snatches the mask away! No more Lucha Logan garbage, the mask is back in Rey’s possession! Dom SUPERKICKS Miz, Rey RANAS him onto ropes! DOUBLE 619! Logan is stunned as Dom goes up top for a FROG SPLASH! Rey goes up, he hits a FROG SPLASH! Miz felt all of the Mysterios’ wrath, but will there be plenty left over for Logan?

 

Veer is coming.

“You’ve been waiting, and now, your fate is sealed. Your fear is certain. Your fear is real. Next week, your fear is here.” The Monday after WrestleMania, the Million Dollar Arm is finally back!

 

Seth Rollins visited WWE HQ.

It was 6:57 AM this morning when The Visionary arrived for his meeting with Vince McMahon. Seth Freakin Rollins asks if he’s ready for Rollins. The receptionist says it’ll just be a few minutes. Then Rollins will take a seat. Then it’s 8:45 AM when “Mr. Rollins” was allowed in. Rollins walked past the secretary and it was the “moment of truth.” Rollins says hi to Vince, but Vince ignores him until Rollins walks closer. Rollins tries to get Vince’s attention but Vince still ignores him. That is, until Rollins sits with his feet up on Vince’s desk. Vince tells him to not do that, and Rollins sits up straight.

Rollins knows this is about the outburst last week, so let’s cut to the chase. Is it a fine? A suspension? Ban him from Raw or WrestleMania? No, it’s none of those. Rollins knows what it is. He’ll save Vince the trouble. “Seth Freakin’ Rollins, you’re FIRED~!” Is that it? Just rip the bandage off! Vince didn’t bring Rollins here to fire him. No? No. Then why is he here? Vince is a bit surprised that Rollins didn’t win his way to WrestleMania. Lots of failures. Yeah, well, not all of it is Rollins’ fault. Sonya, Pearce, it’s a long story. Well why didn’t he just ask Vince? Why did Rollins jump through all the hoops?

Wait, Rollins could’ve just come to Vince? Well, Vince wasn’t going to just give him something but he could’ve talked to Vince instead of jumping through hoops. But this year is different. This is the two-night and most stupendous WrestleMania ever. So could Vince have such a WrestleMania without Seth Freakin’ Rollins? Could he? Of course not. No, he could. But it would be a good idea to still have him on it. But if he were, it’d have to be his own main event. So then… Vince says Seth Freakin’ Rollins IS going to WrestleMania. Is this a trick? Nope. Now, he’s busy, so please go. But who is his opponent? Someone of Vince’s choosing, and you’ll know when you see them.

Well okay. Rollins is going to WrestleMania. Rollins shakes Vince’s hand, and sees himself out. Don’t disappoint. Rollins fires up. “I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” Rollins runs around Vince’s room and even dances, then tells the T-Rex skull, “I told ya, baby!” Rollins even hops up on Vince’s desk! Rollins is feeling great, but will that mood be crushed when he meets the opponent of Vince’s choosing at Mania?

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Omos VS The Viking Raiders!

The mountain of a man has dominated everyone he’s been put up against, even when it was Apollo Crews & Commander Azeez at the same time. But will he be able to take on Erik & Ivar, who have been tag team champions everywhere they’ve gone?

Raw returns and the Viking Raiders make their entrance. Erik starts against Omos and he fires off fast body shots! Omos shoves Erik away, Erik ducks the clothesline to fire a forearm! Omos stays up, Erik runs, but Omos CLOBBERS him! Erik bails out, writhing from that collision. The ring count climbs, Ivar goes check on Erik, but the count is already 6 of 10. The count hits 10, Omos wins!

Winner: Omos, by count-out

Ivar is enraged and he rushes in, but into a ROUNDHOUSE from Omos! Omos tells the ref to raise his hand, not that the ref can even reach Omos’ hand up that high. If Erik was done with one clothesline, what hope does anyone have of ever bringing Omos down?

Kevin Patrick appears to congratulate Omos on that win. Omos is still undefeated, and yet to even fall over. Omos has been looking for a WrestleMania opponent, but is there anyone he feels could threaten him? Omos laughs and says there is no one! He will dominate everyone! Surely, there is someone- HERE COMES BOBBY LASHLEY! Omos is amused as The All Mighty returns! And he’s even dressed to compete! He storms his way up to the ring and gets right in front of Omos! Omos isn’t backing down, but Steel City is behind Lashley> Lashley nods at the Mania sign, but Omos pie faces him!

Lashley rams a shoulder but Omos doesn’t budge! Omos clamps onto Lashley’s head, and he throws him to a corner! Omos says Lashley doesn’t want this, but Lashley roars. Lashley RAMS Omos, Omos still stays up and clamps onto Lashley’s neck. Omos shoves, Lashley rebounds and dodges, and RAMS Omos down!! Omos is furious as he gets out, and he tells Lashley doesn’t want this! Lashley says otherwise, and fans are fired up as both men point to the sign! Will these two titans topple the ring and all of Dallas when they collide?

 

Reggie and Dana Brooke talk backstage.

He’s been wanting to talk to her about something for awhile. But it just seems like whenever it’s the perfect moment, things go sideways. She tells Reggie he could always talk to her about anything. Well, okay. Reggie kneels and asks Dana to- But she cuts him off! This is so sudden. Reggie says they don’t have to wait to have their WrestleMania Moment this weekend. They can have it right now, if she’ll have him. He has a ring?! He’s actually proposing?! Dana says yes! He puts the ring on her finger, and Tamina CLOBBERS them both!! Tamina throws Reggie away, then covers Dana! Reggie saves Dana and they run!

Akira Tozawa is in Tamina’s way! What is he doing in a suit? Oh, uh, well, he heard Reggie was gonna propose to Dana and… Tozawa kneels?! And has a ring?!? He says Tamina is his earth, his wind, and his fire. Will she do him the honor of- Tamina yanks him up to his feet, and says, “What do you think?” Uh… Is that a yes? She holds out her hand and says yes!! He puts the ring on her finger and now we have TWO engagements! Wait, the ring is too small… He gives it a little grease and it fits. They spin around like in the movies, and R-Truth is watching from the shadows. “That gives me an idea. By the power vested in me~!” Uh oh….!

 

Roman Reigns returns to Raw!

The Tribal Chief hasn’t been on Monday nights in months, but the longest reigning Universal Champion isn’t going to miss this! Roman, dressed in red, has Paul Heyman and the Usos with him. They raise the gold for the pyro, then continue to the ring. Then they raise the belts again for more pyro. Paul Heyman then hands Roman the mic, and fans are already torn. “Pittsburrrrgh! ACKNOWLEDGE ME! I was gonna come out here and I was gonna shine on ya. I was gonna talk about the last needle mover, we was gonna talk about God Mode, we was gonna talk about how I used to run Monday Night Raw, until Fox came begging for me to come save SmackDown.

“And those are facts. It’s all true. The Tribal Chief has done everything that you can do in this business, y’see? Except one thing. And if y’all keep Whattin’ me, I’ma smash y’all like I would Steve Austin! Just like I’m gonna smash Brock Lesnar! So like I was saying, The Tribal Chief has done everything. Except beat The Beast at WrestleMania. And that pisses me off!” Fans chant, “Suplex City!” and that doesn’t help Roman’s mood. Roman sighs and continues, “Let’s talk about Brock, then.” What really bothers Roman about Brock is that just a couple weeks ago, Brock was out for blood. It was personal for him. But he’s already spilled Roman’s blood.

In 2018, WrestleMania 34, Brock busted Roman wide open right at the hairline, then the top of his skull. Lesnar smashed Roman’s face to the point that Roman’s children didn’t even recognize him. His wife didn’t want him in this business, his father doubted him, his family was disappointed! And then Lesnar comes out and it’s just a game now! Suplex City, carnival, wedding, the titles will have a baby. Well that’s all good. Roman will change the game! Roman will take everything from Lesnar. Roman already took the Advocate and made him a Wise Man. Roman took Lesnar’s claim to the longest reign and got his receipt! And Roman took Lesnar’s blood at Madison Square Garden.

This Sunday, Roman makes the final move. Roman will take Lesnar’s title. Then, Brock, you will know what it’ll be like to make it personal. Roman will make it personal because it’s ALWAYS been personal for Roman! Roman sets the mic down, then raises up the finger. Will the Head of the Table be the one to become the one and only undisputed champion in WWE?

 

The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions are having a photoshoot.

Carmella says that’s enough. It is exhausting being this beautiful. Queen Zelina is “absolutely chuffed” that they’re on the same page now. And they’ll look so stunning leaving the ring with these titles at WrestleMania. Vega can’t help but remember the shock and awe when they took out Liv, Rhea, Shayna and Natalya last week! Yeah, Shayna remembers that, too. She and Natty walk in, and Natty asks, “You really thought you could get one over on us with those cheap shots?” Not happening this week. So here is what will happen: Mella & Vega get behind the Queen of Harts & Queen of Spades, and they’ll make sure their team wins.

Then at Mania, Natty & Shayna walk out as NEW champions. So as long as Bootleg Barbie and the imposter queen here have their backs tonight, they can tear the other four limb by limb, and let the champs live long enough to see Mania. Got that? Good.

8 Woman Tag: Sasha Banks, Naomi, Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan VS Queen Zelina Vega, Carmella, Shayna Baszler & Natalya!

We just heard from the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE, the Queen of the Ring, and the queens of pain, but will tension like that only ensure they lose to the Boss, the Glow, the Nightmare and the Living End?

Raw returns and all eight women have assembled. The teams sort out, Liv and Natty start. They circle, Natty trips Liv, but Liv kicks her away. Liv gets up, dodges, and RANAS! Natty ends up in enemy territory, Liv runs in to back body block! Tag to Rhea, snapmare and basement dropkick! Rhea laughs as she drags Natty up, but Naomi snipes the tag. Naomi wrenches Natty, but Natty breaks free to throw hands! Tag to Shayna, the Queens mug Naomi, then Vega tags in. She also gets in on the mugging with some stomps, then she waves to the crowd. But Naomi hits a JAWBREAKER! Naomi brings Vega over, BULLDOG to buckles!

Tag to Sasha, she and Naomi get the fans fire up, DOUBLE BOOT WASH! Cover, Mella breaks it! Naomi ROCKS Mella and whips, but Mella boots back! Shayna gets in to ROUNDHOUSE Naomi! Liv gets in to dropkick Shayna! Natty gets in to DISCUS LARIAT Liv! Rhea gets in to HEADBUTT Natty! Mella FABULOUS KICKS Rhea! Sasha spins Mella but Vega drags Sasha out! Vega whips Sasha into barriers! Then KNEES her down! Mella and her team actually are working together well, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Mella leans on Sasha with the chinlock. Sasha endures, her team rallies the fans, but Mella knees Sasha and whips her to the other corner. Sasha BOOTS back, fires off forearms on everyone else, then spins Mella to a BACKSTABBER! Both Mella and Sasha are down but Sasha crawls her way over. Only for Natty and Shayna to yank Liv and Rhea off the apron! Naomi is still there, Shayna tags in off Mella. Shayna drags Sasha away and DECKS Naomi! Shayna brings Sasha up, bumps her off buckles but Sasha elbows her back. Then BOOTS her! Sasha goes up, but Shayna stops the headscissor to a STRETCH MUFFLER!

Natty tags in, Shayna brings Sasha up, Natty runs, HART ATTACK! Vega tags in and pushes Natty away so she can cover! But Shayna drags Vega off! They argue, seeing as how they’re on the same team right now, but then Mella drags Shayna out. Shayna DECKS Mella! Vega is furious, she storms over to Sasha, but Sasha blocks her kick! Sasha tags Naomi in, then KNEES Vega! Naomi ROUNDHOUSES! Liv tags in and then Rhea tags in! WING SNAPPER to RIPTIDE!! Cover, Rhea’s team wins!

Winners: Sasha Banks, Naomi, Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan, by pinfall

Graves comforts Mella and tries to say she’ll win at Mania, but it doesn’t look it to everyone else! Is there no doubt that we will see NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions?

 

The WWE Hall of Fame has two more inductees!

Holler if ya hear me! The Steiner Brothers, Scott & Rick, are both going in as a tag team! They were all over tag team wrestling, from WCW to WWE to even around the world in Japan! And now, they’re immortalized in the HOF!

 

WWE takes a look back at the career of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

“Austin 3:16 says I just whipped yer ass!” And from the moment Austin said that, he did what he wanted when he wanted. “And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!” King of the Ring, Royal Rumble, world titles and general badass moments, he was on top of the world! Brash, tough, rough, and up for some fun, what wasn’t there to love about ol’ Stone Cold? The biggest draw ever, a true needle mover, “OH HELL YEAH!” Will he add Kevin Owens to the long, long, long list of those he’s opened up a can o’ whoop-ass on?

 

Kevin Owens is in the ring!

Speaking of KO, he says, “Wasn’t that an incredible tribute to Stone Cold Steve Austin?” NO one does video packages better than the WWE. True angles of editing. But as great as all that was, it’s noting compared to Kevin’s “tribute” last week! We all saw it, right? IT was amazing, right? Some people thought Kevin was mocking Austin. What? Those are lies. WHAT? THOSE ARE LIES! That was an homage to the Austin we all love and remember. Everyone is ecstatic that Austin is Kevin’s guest on the KO Show at the “main event” of WrestleMania Saturday, and so is Kevin.

But last week wasn’t just Kevin paying tribute, that was also Kevin doing everyone watching a favor. Because that last week, Kevin cosplaying Stone Cold, is the closest we will ever get to the ol’ Stone Cold we used to admire. Because that Stone Cold is GONE! Has been for 19 years! What? He’s been gone! WHAT? NINETEEN YEARS! And he ain’t ever coming back. At Mania, it won’t be Stone Cold, it’ll just be “Steve.” And that’s still cool. That’s the same Steve who has been drinking himself into oblivion for 19 years. The same Steve who is so bored on his own ranch that he’s begging everyone to come onto his podcast so they can talk about the old days and make him feel good!

But hey. That’s Steve! Still sounds and looks like Stone Cold. We saw the video of him and the golf cart. Heavily edited, probably, but he even still talks a big game like Stone Cold. Austin knows he has to but Kevin will show Austin isn’t coming to pick a fight. Austin knows damn well what’d happen! Austin is coming to have another little conversation about his career. He wants a nice little chat. And y’know what? Kevin is honored “Steve’ accepted the invitation and Kevin will do that. Kevin is a good person so he’ll give Steve the biggest platform he’s ever had. The WrestleMania Edition of the KO Show will make Austin feel good and give him the sendoff he thinks he deserves.

Kevin will even do something very special. Kevin hates beer, it is disgusting. But he’ll drink one with Austin> They’ll sit down in the ring at AT&T Stadium and have a toast, even! A toast to Austin finally officially passing the torch to Kevin, not only as the new “Stone Cold,” but the one true master of the Stunner! Cuz Kevin 3:16 says his stunner is better than Austin’s! And if you think his stunner is better, give him a hell yeah! “HELL NO!” And then Austin can be on his way. Doesn’t it sound perfect? It does to Kevin. But just a friendly warning: if Steve tries to get funny with Kevin, there will be a stunner Steve will be on the end of, OH HELL YEAH.

Kevin will repeat that just to be sure. “Steve, if you try to pick a fight with me on the KO Show, I will end up pouring one of your very own beers onto your lifeless carcass after I open up a can of whoop-ass on you! And that’s the bottom line, because KO said so!” Is the Prizefighter riling up the Texas Rattlesnake a little too much this close to meeting face to face?

 

Ricochet VS Austin Theory!

The One and Only has his hands full this Friday as he takes on both Los Lotharios for the Intercontinental Championship. Meanwhile, Vince McMahon’s protégé is preparing for Pat McAfee. Will Ricochet show up Vince’s new pet project? Or will Theory add another champion to his selfie gallery?

Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings, Theory fires off on Ricochet then stomps a mudhole in the corner. The ref counts, Theory lets off, and he scoops Ricochet to FALL AWAY SLAM! Theory grins but fans chant, “We Want Pat!” Theory gets mad, but runs into BOOTS, then a SHOTGUN dropkick! Theory ends up in a corner as Ricochet kips up. Ricochet elbows Theory, whips corner to corner, then runs in to RAM and bump and BOOT Theory away! Ricochet springboards, FLYING LARIAT! Fans fire up with Ricochet and STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO!

Ricochet watches Theory crawl as he aims from the corner. Ricochet runs in but Theory dodges to then fireman’s carry! Ricochet slips off, dodges and ENZIGURIS! Theory is down, Ricochet hurries up the corner! Ricochet reaches the top, but Theory hits ropes to trip him up! Theory drags Ricochet off into a fireman’s carry, A T L! Cover, Theory wins!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall

Another match, another win, and another selfie. Theory gloats and takes more selfies as he exits, but will the fun be over when he faces off with McAfee?

 

Triple H officially retires from in-ring competition!

The Game has called it Game Over after 27 years as a superstar. He helped hundreds of others get into this business, so surely we all can say, #ThankYouHHH.

 

Bianca Belair is here!

The EST is back after the brutal beating from Becky Lynch that damaged her throat. Bianca gets a mic and says she shouldn’t really be talking, but she has to address this. Fans cheer her own and she tells Becky, “you came out here and you talked about all the things you’d do to make sure that title never left your waist. But two weeks ago, I found out just how low you would stoop. Let’s be real. I threatened your whole existence, my confidence threatened you. The way I hold my head high even when I get knocked down, that threatened you, and that’s why you act the way that you do.

“Not only did you try to injure me and take out of WrestleMania, but you come out here week after week and you run your mouth and you constantly bash my name, you play the victim, and you try to ruin my reputation. But girl… uh-uh. They don’t call me the EST for no reason. So congratulations, Becky, you took me out for a week. But now I am right back here tonight on Monday Night Raw like I never even left.” Fans cheer that on, and Bianca says, “Becky, even after everything that you have tried, I am still standing here. So enough is enough, this has been going on for far too long. This started all back at SummerSlam.

“And ever since SummerSlam, you have tried to use every trick in the book to escape with that title. You have tried everything. You attacked me, and you deliberately tried to end my career, but that didn’t work. You tried to break my throat and break my spirit, but that didn’t work. So what else you got, huh?” Bianca will tell Becky: absolutely nothing! There is nothing that can stop Bianca from coming for the title. So Saturday, WrestleMania, Bianca is coming for Becky and will take that title to walk out Raw Women’s Champion, and there’s not a damn thing Becky can do about it.

But speaking of, here comes Becky in person! But Bianca knows it was a sneak attack! She stopped the chair shot, and the two are scrapping! Bianca RAMS Becky into the corner again and again and then she stomps a mudhole! Bianca rains down fists, but lets off too soon! Becky throws Bianca down by her hair! Becky gets the chair back, and JAMS Bianca in stomach, before she SMACKS her on the back! Becky looms over Bianca and says, “There’s nothing else I can do? I said I was coming for your hair, Bianca.” Becky brings out SCISSORS! And big ones!! She grabs the ponytail, but the refs rush out! Bianca fights up to torture rack! KISS OF DEATH!!

Bianca is snarling, knowing what Becky just tried to do to her! So she hauls Becky back up, KISS OF DEATH again! Fans fire up as Bianca looms over Becky, and Bianca looks at the scissors. Bianca thinks about it, and she picks the scissors up! Fans fire up as Bianca walks over to Becky, pulls her hair, and cuts off a big lock of it! And then another! Bianca is giving Big Time Becks a big time makeover! Pearce and Sonya rush out but Bianca snips off more and more! Bianca finally stops and keeps some of those fiery locks for a souvenir. Becky wakes up and realizes what just happened! Now Becky is furious, and she grumbles, “I am going to end her!” Will these two be out for blood at Mania?

 

Becky is fuming backstage.

Sarah asks her about the match with Bianca. After what we just saw- Becky snatches the mic and throws it away. Becky tells Bianca, “You bitch!” And then she storms off. Will Becky’s rage build these last few days into an inferno that burns down the EST?

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Drew McIntyre VS Happy Corbin & Mad Cap Moss!

Before the Scottish Warrior goes 1v1 with the head hyena, he’ll have to take on them both! Will Mad Cap be more of a meat shield than a tag partner for Corbin? Or can they manage to get the upper hand on McIntyre before WrestleMania?

Raw returns and the Happy Folks make their entrance. The bell rings and Corbin actually starts with McIntyre. They tie up, McIntyre shoves Corbin away but Corbin pushes back. McIntyre doesn’t budge, so Corbin tags out and bails! Moss is surprised but McIntyre TOSSES Moss in! Then CLOBBERS him! Then TOSSES Him to a corner! McIntyre fires off haymakers on Moss but the ref counts. McIntyre lets off, reels Moss in, OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Moss gets up and swings on McIntyre, but McIntyre gets around to NECKBREAKER! McIntyre kips up and fans fire up! McIntyre glares at Corbin, then throws Moss his way!

McIntyre dares Corbin to tag back in! Corbin says alright, NOPE. He leaves the apron and goes up the ramp! Corbin says this will wait until WrestleMania. McIntyre HEADBUTTS Moss down! And the countdown begins! Three, two, one CLAYMORE! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

But Corbin attacks from behind! The hyena is more like a weasel, and he POSTS McIntyre! Then POSTS him the other way! Then drags McIntyre up, for END OF DAYS! Corbin then grabs McIntyre’s sword! And he leaves with it! Hasn’t Corbin confiscated Angela the Claymore before? Will McIntyre not just beat Corbin at WrestleMania but break him in two for this?

 

Edge speaks.

The Iconoclast sits with a scale. “Last week on Raw, I had a choice to make. Do I blast Seth Rollins with the chair and give him another beating this Sunday at WrestleMania? One that he deserves, and it was very tempting. Or do I let fate take its course?” But Edge has taken fate into his own hands, so it was serendipity that it needed to be AJ Styles. Edge and Styles need each other. Styles needed Edge to pull off “the veil of mediocrity” Styles had put on himself so he could remember he is an era defining superstar! So you’re welcome. But Edge needed Styles to become this! The wild light, blind and bright, the benchmark of the WWE!

They’ve already pushed each other to better places, but Edge will keep soaring while Styles stagnates. Finally, after 20 years being parallel, collecting titles and blowing off roofs, they will face off on the Grandest Stage of them All for a match of the ages! But Styles, Edge saw the look in your eyes last week. Edge is already roaming inside Styles’ head. WrestleMania will be Styles’ judgement day. His judgement… is sealed. Edge puts a little weight on one side to tip the scales, but will Styles defy Edge’s omnipotence and make Mania truly phenomenal?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

Sarah asks his response to Edge’s comments. Well, Edge used a lot of words to justify another cheap shot. It was a month ago where Edge grabbed a steel chair and cracked Styles in the back of the head not once but twice. And since then, Edge’s music has changed, Edge has changed, as if he were trying to get in Styles’ head. “Mission accomplished. “All Styles has thought about is what he’ll do to Edge when they get in that ring. If Edge wants the Pitbull, well Styles will do a lot worse than that! Edge wants to destroy Styles? The feeling is mutual! Edge says the judgement is coming, but the Phenomenal AJ Styles will give the entire WWE Universe will never forget!

 

Rick Boogs is on Raw!

And just as he does on Fridays, he is rocking! He introduces himself, and how he is here to rock with one-half of the future SmackDown Tag Team Champions, Shinsuke… NakamurAAAAAA~! The King of Strong Style and Boogs go to the ring, because they want to watch tonight’s Champions VS Champions tag main event!

RKBRO VS The Usos!

Randy Orton & Matt Riddle will be facing two teams in The Alpha Academy and the Street Profits, but Jimmy & Jey are taking on Nakamura & Boogs. But who will be the ones proving they’re the best tag team champions in WWE?

Raw returns and the Viper & the Stallion make their entrance. The teams sort out and Orton starts with Jimmy. Orton kicks and EuroUppers but Jimmy hits back. Jimmy CHOPS, Orton pokes him in the eye! Orton uppercut Jimmy down, tags Riddle, and ASSISTED FLOATING BRO! Jey gets in, the Usos double superkick but they’re both blocked! They block Double RKBROs, and then bail out. The Usos talk smack to Boogs & Nakamura, but Riddle SMACKS Jey off the desk, then Orton BACK SUPLEXES Jimmy onto the desk! Then Riddle BACK SUPLEXES Jey onto the desk! Boogs, Nakamura and Steel City are fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Jimmy gives Orton stomps much like Orton does! Jimmy whips Orton to a corner but Orton comes back to CLOBBER Jimmy! Orton gives those stomps back with interest, too! Boogs likes it, and fans rally for “Randy! Randy!” Orton scrapes laces on Jimmy’s face, then tags Riddle. RKBRO mugs Jimmy, then Riddle gut wrenches to TOSS Jimmy! Riddle brings Jimmy up but Jimmy powers him to the corner. Tag to Jey, he runs in to forearm smash! Jey talks trash on Riddle, drags him up, but Riddle BOOTS him! Riddle runs in to forearm smash! Then a forearm for Jimmy, then a forearm for Jey!

BROSPLODER and BROTON! Cover, ONE!! Jey is hanging tough but Riddle is after him in the corner. Riddle whips, Jey reverses, but Riddle goes up and over. Jey ducks a kick, shoves Riddle and fireman’s carries, SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Tag to Jimmy, the Usos stomp away then Jimmy rains down fists. Jimmy digs his knees into Riddle and chokes him on the ropes. The ref backs Jimmy off but Jey gets a cheap shot in! Orton protests but Jimmy tags Jey. The Usos split the wishbone on Riddle! Jey taunts Riddle, talks trash to fans, then chokes Riddle on ropes. The ref backs Jey off, and now Jimmy gets a cheap shot!

Orton is furious again but the ref keeps him back. Jey taunts Riddle, lets him crawl, but then facelocks to keep him from Orton. Fans rally, Riddle counter punches Jey! And again, and again! Jey hits low, whips Riddle hard into the corner, then tags Jimmy. Jimmy sits Riddle up for a chinlock and he grinds Riddle down. Riddle endures, but Jimmy stomps him down! Tag to Jey, the Usos stomp Riddle more, then Jey stands Riddle up. Riddle ROCKS Jey with forearms, then fires off palm strikes and forearms! Riddle whips, Jimmy tags, and Jey reverses the whip to shove Riddle into another cheap shot!

Jey dropkicks Riddle out of the ring, and then the Usos bring him up to whip him over the barriers and into the timekeeper’s area! The Usos raise their fingers, they the ones in charge as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once again, and Jey is just holding Riddle away from Orton! Riddle swings on Jey but Jey gets around for a back suplex NECKBREAKER! Jey tells Pittsburgh to quiet down, and then he swipes at Orton! The ref keeps Orton back and the Usos laugh at him. Jey shouts, “UCE!” but fans boo. Riddle runs in to RUNNING KNEE Jey down! Both men are down in the corner and fans fire up! Riddle and Jey crawl, hot tags to Jimmy and Orton! Fans fire up as the Viper rallies! Big clotheslines, then a duck and a- NO, Jimmy holds ropes to deny the powerslam! Jey tags in, Jimmy runs at Orton, but into a POWERSLAM!

Orton fires up and he brings Jimmy up to put into the ropes. But Jey rolls Orton up! TWO, and Orton dodges Jey! POWERSLAM! Fans fire up with Orton as he puts Jey through ropes. Jimmy anchors Jey but Riddle KICKS and FLOATING BRO ATTACKS! Orton still has Jey, DRAPING DDT! And now he hears the voices! Jey staggers up, but the PROFITS attack?!?

Winners: RKBRO, by disqualification

Riddle gets in to go after the Profits, but they and the Usos mug RKBRO! The Usos toss Riddle out while the Profits keep Orton down. But Boogs & Nakamura go after the Usos! Nakamura throws Jey out, Boogs pumps and TOSSES Jimmy! Jimmy hotshots off the ropes, Boogs powers him out and takes him away! SmackDown’s teams fight their way to the back, but Dawkins sets Orton up for Ford. But Riddle gets in, RKO for Dawkins! Ford jumps over Riddle, gets baited in, POP-UP RKO!! Fans fire up as the Raw Tag Team Champions stand tall!

Wait, Riddle and Orton get Ford up, fans want “One More Time!” Dawkins crawls into the ring, to see Ford get an RKO! Riddle wants another, and Orton says his pal is gonna get one! Dawkins gets an RKO from Riddle! But will the Viper & Stallion still be golden when they have to worry about Ford, Dawkins and the Alpha Academy?


My Thoughts:

It seems “WrestleMania Raw” is literally just a name. This was not a WrestleMania level of Raw but just another underwhelming go-home. One too many recaps, and only the main event was all that good as a match. It really was a great segment, though, the Usos and RKBRO being great tag teams, and even having Boogs & Nakamura ringside was good. The Profits attacking adds to their apparent Heel turn, and it seems the math says RKBRO loses. They stood tall to close the show, and being in a Triple Threat, it’s that much easier for them to lose the titles without really losing. And if it’s the Profits, that’d be a great combination with them being more Heel to stay fresh.

Lesnar had a good opener to put his final stamp on things, and Roman had a good response in his segment, but it’s pretty much solidified. Roman is winning, and he’s already got a red tracksuit for when he shows up on Mondays from now on. The Mysterios with Miz & Logan tonight was alright. We all knew Logan would wear the mask, but Miz and even Corey Graves on commentary were hamming it up a bit too much with the “Lucha Logan” joke. The Mysterios get to stand tall and take the mask back, so that’s a bad sign that Miz & Logan are winning.

WWE posted that entire Seth Rollins segment with Vince online, so time was wasted somewhere in the process. But in the end, they’re keeping us guessing until the very last moment. It will surely still be Rollins VS Cody, so long as Vince doesn’t get some other idea in the next few days. Poor Viking Raiders. They could’ve and should’ve been SmackDown Tag Champs already. But instead, they got eaten by Omos and they’ll lose the Andre the Giant Battle Royal this Friday. But hey, Lashley’s back way earlier than anyone expected! He had a pretty great moment with Omos, they’ll have a great match at Mania, but I can’t be sure Lashley wins that with how strong they’ve made Omos.

We’re totally getting a double wedding at WrestleMania, aren’t we? R-Truth is totally officiating, and he is totally messing it up on purpose to get that title off Dana. As for the kayfabe romances of Dana x Reggie and Tozawa x Tamina, they’re probably just going to be casualties of this 24/7 Championship Division. The 8 Woman Tag we got tonight was pretty good, but it only adds to my worries that a Fatal 4 is going to keep the titles on Vega & Mella. I hope not, but that’s usually how go-home math goes. We got a really good Stone Cold vignette, as Kevin himself said, and Kevin had a great promo here, but this is totally setting up one last Stone Cold Stunner.

Ricochet being here tonight was a missed opportunity. Team up Ricochet and Finn against Los Lotharios, have Damian Priest show up, he and Los Lotharios get to stand tall and that ensures Ricochet retains on Friday and Finn retains whenever he faces Priest. Theory getting such an easy win over another midcard champion is just annoying to me. Bianca Belair had a great promo, and Becky going after her was great stuff. The whole thing with going after hair was also great, too bad they aren’t following through with a Hair VS Title situation. But Bianca standing tall here, I can only think that Becky uses Champion’s Advantage as the last way to screw Bianca over.

McIntyre of course wins the 2v1 because Moss takes the loss. Corbin does stand tall and takes the sword, so McIntyre is gonna Claymore him back to being Bumass Corbin. Plus, Corbin and Moss should get to a point of breaking up as a duo because Moss has been making jokes at Corbin’s expense, and Corbin’s been using Moss as the lackey. Then McIntyre can go for some title, or maybe even Money in the Bank. Edge and Styles each had their own good promo, and I feel like their match could go either way. Leaning towards this new persona Edge is using, it’d be a bit of a shame if his first match in this character was a loss.

My Score: 8/10

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Results

Andrew’s JCW Strangle-Mania Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2026

Grab yourself a Faygo, paint your face and punch sister, JCW Strangle-Mania is invading your brain!

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You’re not reading this wrong! Lunacy popped up on my YouTube a few weeks ago, and what can I say, this reminds me of public access ECW Hardcore TV. It’s a bit campy, edgy and is unapologetically Juggalo.

Cokane, J-Rod, Big Al, Facade, and Kerry Morton have definitely intrigued me. On top of the established names like RVD, Nic Nemeth, Mr. Anderson and even Vince Russo has been refreshing.

Plus for somewhat legit reasons, Vampiro is having his retirement match tonight against PCO and Big Vito. So while I don’t know what to expect…I’m anticipating fun with a side of Faygo.

Ratings:

  • St Claire Monster Corporation (Kongo Kong, Mr Happy, Beastman) vs Rock N’ Roll Express & Juggalo George South: AARP Trio win via Smashing Fat Dudes Together – (-**) – Yes that’s Negative 2
  • Kamikaze Chaos Match: Mickie Knuckles vs Kerry Morton: Kerry wins via…Weapons – * 1/2
  • The Outbreak (Abel & Jackson) w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Brothers of Funstruction (Yabo & Ruffo): Outbreak win via As Above, So Below – ** 1/2
  • JCW American Title: Facade (c) vs Mecha Wolf vs Ninja Mack vs Disco Ray w/The Ring Rat vs Boogie Boarding Mikey Avalon: Facade retains via Triple Jump Moonsault – ** 1/2
  • JCW Women’s Title Tag Match: Katie Forbes Guest Referee: Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs J-Rod & Nyla Rose: J-Rod wins via Double Chokeslam – ** 1/4 – TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • Good Brothers & KENTA vs RVD w/Bill Alfonso, Willie Mack & 2 Tuff Tony: RVD wins via 5 Star Frog Splash – (-*)
  • JCW Lunacy World Championship: EC3 Special Guest Referee: Cokane (c) vs Nic Nemeth vs Caleb Konley vs Matt Riddle: Cokane retains via Cokeslam – ** 3/4
  • Vampiro’s Retirement Match: Vampiro vs PCO vs Big Vito: Vampiro wins via Nail in the Coffin – ***

 

Results:

Violent J opens the show, as he is want to do since he’s come back into part ownership. The Duke of the Wicked keeps it short and sweet since everyone’s been waiting. Smart move.

We move to a backstage segment with Jasmine St. Claire bitching at Vince Russo. There’s a stipulation of, if her Monster Corporation doesn’t win, they disband. She sort of alludes to the match, but it’s not an awful segment.

St Claire Monster Corporation (Kongo Kong, Mr Happy, Beastman) vs Rock N’ Roll Express & Juggalo George South

The monsters attack the ancient trio combine for probably 180 years old. Mr. Happy gets pushed away, George South and Ricky try to control Kongo Kong, but…oh no the Arm Wringers are working. I wasn’t sure at first, but Kongo is in the geriatric corner and isolated with frequent tags…not so quickly. Mr Happy gets tagged in, accidentally Lariats Kongo cause he’s silly.

Beastman just brings himself in and things are breaking down in Lucha level lack of rules. The big boys Monster Mash in the middle because Big vs Old mean everyone is slow. This match is in such slow motion it might be in reverse and Happy gets thrown into his own team because he’s a comedy goof who things its a game. This is…was complete crap.

I guess the pile of shit match got out of the way early. In the famous words of Roan from Grandia II…”Yikes”.

Kamikaze Chaos Match: Mickie Knuckles vs Kerry Morton

Special guest referee Claude aka Brian Zane. Kerry comes out with two white girls dressed like Geisha because he’s a Japanese Legend now.

After an Incel flavored misogynistic promo, he jumps Mickie before the bell, but she turns it around. Gives him the old Kitchen Sink and dumps him outside. Mickie tries to Dive, but Kerry has a perfectly timed Trash Can to her dome. He’s now grabbing chairs, doors, more trash can pieces. He’s building the kitchen just for Mickie. Since he takes forever, when he gets in Mickie grabs his balls and then hits him with a Brainbuster as he sells amusingly. After a few trash can lid shots, Kerry goes to grab Mickie…but you know, it doesn’t work the same for women. She snaps his fingers with her Kegel Grip. He grabs more weapons, cuts Mickie open, but Mickie continues to aim for Kerry’s dick including she just bites his…well…you know. Kerry is about to get Ass Attacked over and over, then uses a Trash Can to keep his face receiving her can.

Kerry goes to grab something but Mickie shoves her thumb up Kerry’s ass. Then she has Claude smell it and help him build the next prop spot. Kerry hits her with a few things, puts her on the gimmick pile, but thinks better than jumping onto it. Claude however rebuilds it and Kerry tries to rub his crotch in her face…which is dumb. So she Headbutts his crotch, he falls through the gimmick pile. Claude gets to a two count and then sneezes.

Kerry hits Claude with a V Trigger accidentally. Saito Suplex, German and then a Northern Lights Suplex from Mickie, but Claude is dead, so no referee for the count. Kerry manages to turn things around, Suplexes Mickie through a door, beats her across the skull with the pieces but she fires, Donkey Kick to the back of her head, and he pins her with his crotch in her face. Claude is miraculously alive, and counts the three.

Not a good match, but kinda fun in how despicably shit it was. 

The Outbreak (Abel & Jackson) w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Brothers of Funstruction (Yabo & Ruffo) vs BackSeat Boyz (Tommy & JP Grayson)

Oh look, Ruffo found Yabo. Glad he’s not sleeping with the fishes yet.

The clowns bounce a balloon off the zombies…and the zombies fire and attack, so they start brawling. Jackson and Yabo start throwing hands, before Ruffo and Abel get involved again. The tornado aspect continues, there’s no control and Violent J walks out. Tells them to expect the unexpected.

BackSeat Boyz come down, T Gimmick the zombies, the clowns face off with them and BackSeats do a little dance, before the clowns make them pay with stereo Manhattan Drops and then a coconut crunch. Zombies are back up, slides under legs, stereo Slingblades, Corner Attacks of Splashes and Uppercuts, the Clowns flop out after the punishment. BackSeat is back in, but the zombies were winning until an Eye Rake, but then Tommy eats an Assited Flatliner. Outbreak wants As Above…but BackSeat stop it, hit the Street Sweeper! They want to T Gimmick Jackson, but Ruffo and Yabo Balloon the Boyz. Hulk Hand Uppercut rocks JP, Rubber Chicken Assisted Big Boot lays out Tommy.

Rubber Chicken Tickle doesn’t work on zombies so they dispose of Ruffo, hit Yabo with As Above, So Below and out favorite cocaine alcoholic zombies win the match!

The Outbreak had some cocaine on them and do celebratory cocaine! Barnabas is beside himself. 

JCW American Title: Facade (c) vs Mecha Wolf vs Ninja Mack vs Disco Ray w/The Ring Rat vs Boogie Boarding Mikey Avalon

Well if you score based on looks, you’d think only Mecha, Mack or Facade should win this match. 

Disco Ray starts his dance, trying to get the vibes rolling, everyone is playing along until he gets to Facade who just flips him off and shoves him. So everyone dogpiles Facade because he’s a dick, then we get a test of strength, but Ray is just vibing and dancing. Mecha clears the other three, but Ray’s hips don’t lie and he Splits under a lariat, hits one of his own, wiggles out cinque and drops Mack, Mikey Avalon eats a Flip, Flop and Fly with tambourines. Ray is having fun, but Facade returns to the match and ends Ray’s fun.

Ray tries to Irish Whip Facade, he does a Neck Bridge in the corner for about a minute. Ray gets Up and Overed, Avalon eats a kick after a Matrix, Mecha eats a Disaster Kick from Facade and then goes for an Escalara, but Ninja Mack cuts off Facade. Mack is taking too long to so his Cartwheel Corkscrew Splash and Avalon just gets involved. Avalon Sabu’s a Boogie Board at Facade and then a Scoop Slam with the board.

Avalon uses a Surfboard Stretch, with a Surfboard. Mecha Wolf clocks Avalon and spikes Ninja Mack. Frog Splash from Mecha, but Disco makes the save. Ray connects on a Neckbreaker, but Ninja Mack flies out of nowhere with an Uppercut, Facade with a Rope Walk Dropkick but Mecha hits a Busaiku Knee and everyone is down. Side Slam from Avalon, but Mecha Powders. Cannonballs for all from Avalon. Mecha Muta Mist to Avalon, Ninja Mack Superkick, Mack hits a Sasuke Special on Mecha! Ray tries some rope run, but Facade counters it into a cradle, Ray hits Panic at the Disco but Facade kicks out.

Ring Rat doesn’t want to give Ray the chair, she turns on Ray with a Low Blow. Facade has the chair, Facade Sabu’s the chair, sets it up, Triple Jump Moonsault for the Sabu reference, Facade retains. Not executed well, but neither were most of Sabu’s moves and then we see the Ring Rat walk up the ramp to Steven Flowe.

The Green Phantom comes out…oy vey. Oh and it’s literally just him walking around the crowd and then he leaves. 

JCW Women’s Title Tag Match: Katie Forbes Guest Referee: Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs J-Rod & Nyla Rose

Oh, this is where Nyla is now. I haven’t heard her name in so long I thought she died.

J-Rod and Al start, a few strikes exchanged, Saito Suplex from Big Al and then an Air Raid Crash, for a near fall. Al tags in Dani, a delayed splash and another near fall. Dani keeps J-Rod in the corner with some kicks, a Snapmare to send her out, and then a few more kicks and lariats. Big Al asks for a tag, Dani says no, but when Dani gets close enough Al tags herself in and it gives J-Rod time tag out to Nyla.

Nyla lands one corner Splash, Al moves from the second, but Nyla just grabs Al and tosses her across the ring. Dani tags herself in, flies at Nyla and gets caught and slammed down. Nyla walks Dani to the heel corner, tags out to J-Rod and corner Shoulder Thrusts, quick tags are leaving Dani isolated and eating punishment. The heels are working together better than the tumultuous babyfaces. GAHD Damn J-Rod is gorgeous. Sorry it’s 5:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept. I’m distracted and my filter is slipping.

Quick tags continue, Nyla is now in but Dani manages to fight back. Crescent Kick from Dani, Code Red and…only a two count! Dani wants the Moonmist Twist, Nyla stops it, drops Dani and tags out to the Gorgeous Gladiator. Dani eats Snake Eyes and then a Big Boot but only two again. Corner Hip Attacks, J-Rod walks Dani out of the corner with her draped over her shoulders, Samoan Drop. Big Al breaks up the pinfall, Katie admonishes Big Al so Nyla walks in Double Chokeslam while the referee isn’t looking. J-Rod pins Dani…1-2-3! Alice expected Dani to kick out and the fact she didn’t, Al is frustrated.

I’m a big fan of J-Rod, Alice and Dani, but some of the spots were awkward and that finish fell flatter than a pancake. 

Good Brothers & KENTA vs RVD w/Bill Alfonso, Willie Mack & 2 Tuff Tony

RVD walking down about to ask KENTA to pick a hand. Between Tony and RVD…god damn these entrances are taking forever. 

Karl and Tony are gonna start, but he holds up a finger to grab his bottle of…Kettle One…or whatever that is. He polishes the bottle off and then ties up finally! Tony shoots off the ropes, eats a Shoulder Tackle so Karl tags in Gallows because of a the size discrepancy. Tony takes another swig from his bottle, and I get the liquid courage gimmick, but Tony is old, slow and wrestles like shit. Can we just get him out to someone who can go?

Thank Christ, Tony tags in Willie and now we might see some wrestling. Willie wants to test power, they run into each other a few times and no one gives. Gallows tries to Lariat Willie, Willie ducks and hits Gallows with the Gamengiri. Gallows tags out, KENTA points at RVD, and we get Rob Van Dam versus KENTA.

KENTA acts like they’re about to tie up, ducks it and goes to his corner chuckling. Rob lands a punch, KENTA is bleeding, RVD wants Rolling Thunder but Karl drags him out. Now is a shitty brawl but KENTA looks a bit out of it. The vibe seems like Rob connected with KENTA and hard wayed him. Willie hits a Stunner, KENTA with the Busaiku, RVD with a kick, RVD hits the Van Daminator on Gallows. Tony hits the Meteorite on Gallows, RVD goes up, 5 Star Frog Splash, RVD wins!

This was a pile of shit. RVD breaks KENTA’s nose on the second real move of this slog, they do something stupid for a few minutes before someone just said go to the finish. 

4 Way Elimination: JCW Lunacy World Championship: EC3 Special Guest Referee: Cokane (c) vs Nic Nemeth vs Caleb Konley vs Matt Riddle

Can this match be decent? Please? Like give me one. Nemeth comes out in Juggalo paint.

Caleb mouths off a little, everyone gangs up and chucks him out. Riddle starts throwing Knees, Cokane rolls through the turnbuckle, Rebound Big Boot, but a big Lariat miss and Riddle hits a few Gutwrench Suplexes, Senton, and works over Cokane. Caleb runs in, dispatches Riddle, tries to keep Cokane on the back foot but a Blue Thunder Bomb stops Caleb. Cokane pulls out straws and wants to use them like the MASADA Skewer spot, but Caleb fights him off. A little more jockying for position, Cokane tries his rope walk, but Caleb trips him up, Cokane crashes and Caleb kicks Cokane to the outside. Nemeth comes in hot, Splash, Rude Awakening, FameASSer for two!

Cokane wants a Cokeslam, Super Kick says no, Riddle hits a Cutter, wants a Tombstone, but no. Caleb hits a Low Blow on Nemeth, Burning Hammer, and Caleb eliminated Nic Nemeth first. Riddle hits an Exploder, Senton, PK, but Cokane comes in, Drop Step, Wrist Control, Rip Cord Knee, Fisherman Buster and Riddle is rolling. Floating Bro on both men and Riddle looks like the favorite at this point. Tombstone locomotion, Riddle hits a Gotch variation of the Brostone. Another Low Blow on Riddle from Caleb, another Burning Hammer, and Riddle is gone.

Caleb runs Cokane into the corners, Chop exchanges between the remaining two guys turns into punches. Backfist from Caleb, and then a Superkick, Caleb wants the Shotei, but hits EC3 accidentally. Cokeslam gets countered. Cokane gets thrown into the ropes, he’s wiley like a crackhead, eventually we get a Lethal Injection. Cokane goes for his cocaine, but Steven Flowe shows up again to play DARE officer and say no to drugs. LOW BLOW from Caleb! Burning Hammer number three! EC3 stops his count at two. EC…can’t count to three.

Ethan is putting his foot down with all the Low Blows. Cokane sits up, finds more cocaine, COKESLAM! 1-2-3! Tony Khan must’ve given Cokane the back up stash. Good call.

While Cokane retaining isn’t a bad idea…EC3 makes a cocaine angel in the middle of the ring afterwards, is funny. These matches have all been either garbage or depressing. 

Vampiro’s Retirement Match: Vampiro vs PCO vs Big Vito

Vamp walks out with J and Shaggy, gives Dark Carnival WCW flashbacks. Vampiro cuts a promo at the beginning of the match about the first time he met ICP in WCW. Let’s assume it’s a real retirement, he deserves a moment to wax poetic before the match. He then goes around the horn with a comment about PCO and Vito as well. But again, it’s okay, its a retirement angle. Vamp’s little comedic way he cuts a promo while still being poignant and cool, helps land the show. Now lets hope the match isn’t garbage.

PCO and Vamp are throwing chops while Vito doesn’t mind not being hit. Vito tries to hit the ropes and Double Lariat, but they level Vito and keep slugging. PCO rocks Vamp, Splashes him in the corner and then Kicks Vito in the stomach and throw him out. Vamp bounces PCO’s face off the post, Vito goes after Vamp, they fight into the crowd and Vito rocks Vamp, Vamp hits a random dude in the crowd, and the guy seems like a good sport. PCO returns to the brawl going after both guys, but Vito turns things around on PCO and fights Vamp back to the ring.

Vamp is flipping people off, absorbing the hits just to talk shit to the crowd and his opponents. It’s obvious that Vampiro is enjoying himself. Vito calls Violent J into the ring since the Dark Carnival stuck around for support. Vito kicks J, starts throwing down Forearms and then Shane Mercer slides in, the Mercer-Nary. Shane wraps his fist in a chain, Vito holds J, J ducks, Shane levels Vito. J and Shaggy gang up on Shane to take him out, now PCO starts beating on Vito. Fist to the head, Leg Drop, and Vampiro is content watching for a little bit. Vamp breaks the next pinfall attempt, goes for his own but Vito kicks out and Vito goes for a Crossface. PCO’s foot comes down to break up the submission, then his stomps on Vampiro, Vito tries to sneak a cover but not yet.

French Canadian Frankenstein with a few Forearm Shots and a short Lariat to send Vito to the ground. PCO lays strikes into PCO, but Vito shoves PCO out of the way to kick Vampiro himself. Two more instances of Vito shoving PCO away, and PCO is allowing it, but after the third shove, PCO catches Vito in a Chokeslam. Spinning Back Kick by Vamp on PCO, Nail in the Coffin! The Driver looked bad, the finish was odd, but Vamp is nearly 60 and battling Alzheimer’s. I’m not mad. Vampiro wins his retirement match!

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Well Spring Break started late and went long, so Strangle-Mania started like 66 minutes late. So I sit here, past 7am Eastern…and it’s not for Wrestle Kingdom…weird times man. But yeah, wrestling content, this was garbage. Anything that had a chance to be cool was either marred with short cuts or cut short because of an errant punch. Now I will say, a card with the Rock N’ Roll Express, George South, KENTA, RVD, Nic Nemeth, Nyla Rose and professional Zombie wrestlers…was not on my BINGO card this year. So there’s aspects of this show that were fun, the commentary booth was unhinged, J-Rod winning the title is the correct decision. She’s gorgeous, great physique, solid wrestler and going to be on the new American Gladiators, so it’s free publicity baby. The Kerry Morton match was also completely inane, but wonderfully so. There is a soft spot in my heart for Self Aware Comedic Hardcore.

Vampiro’s retirement was nice, sentimental, and a feel good moment since Vito ate the pin.

Like I said, there was no real wrestling to be extrapolated from this show, but there was some entertainment. I’m not gonna rate the show highly because the matches were almost all bad or barely passable. But being a little delirious from being up for like 32 hours with no sleep…I didn’t fall asleep. So at least the show wasn’t boring.

Maybe I’ll start covering Lunacy on Fridays (I cover TNA that’s also on Thursday, so JCW will have to take the tape delay backseat). But yeah, Cokane retaining, Steven Flowe going full heel and stealing the Ring Rat with Caleb Konley getting screwed by EC3. There’s some interesting possibilities for the weekly show.

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Results

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/17/26)

The night before WrestleMania!

Published

on

The American Nightmare sends one last message!

Before fighting for the Undisputed WWE Championship at WrestleMania, Cody Rhodes wants to say one last thing to Randy Orton & Pat McAfee!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag Street Fight: MFT VS The Wyatt Sick6; MFT wins.
  • WWE Tag Team Championships: Damian Priest & R-Truth VS Kofi Kingston & Grayson Waller; Priest & Truth win and retain the titles.
  • WWE Women’s United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Tiffany Stratton VS Jordynne Grace; Tiffany wins and will challenge for the title.
  • Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss VS Bayley & Lyra Valkyria; No Contest.
  • 2026 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Royce Keys wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

A truck pulls into the garage.

And out step Randy Orton & Pat McAfee. The fans can be heard booing, and Orton says this is one hell of a truck. Pat says yeah, built tough like Orton. But then Nick Aldis finds them first, and has a contract. As discussed, here is their agreement. Aldis and Pat are gonna have a chat. Pat tells “Foreign Adam Pearce” that he is a guy who reads his own contracts, because he is a self-made billionaire, unlike all the bums in the crowd. Pat wants to read the whole thing before he signs, and it looks like there are a lot of pages here. Orton says sorry to interrupt, but he has something to say. Pat can handle this while Orton goes to the ring.

Pat is fired up as Orton heads to gorilla, and Pat says time to “ruin” the show by telling some truths! And on that note, please park the truck. Pat skims through, signs a part, and continues on while cameras cut to ringside. Orton makes his entrance, and the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas is already singing along with Voices as The Viper goes to the ring. Orton signals he’s going to be champion again before even stepping into the ring. The fans cheer as Orton hits his signature pose, then Orton grabs a mic. The fans cheer Orton on while he takes a moment. “I’ll be the first one to admit it. I don’t need Pat McAfee. The truth is, I want him.”

The fans boo, but Orton says McAfee is the only straight shooter in this company. Pat doesn’t tell Orton what he wants to hear, but what he needs to hear. And what Orton needed to hear is that all along, all Orton ever needed to do was just be himself. Who would’ve thought! So they were all set, Orton was listening, he knows what he needs to do, Orton wins Elimination Chamber, and it was to be Orton VS McIntyre for the title. Now, there’s no love lost for McIntyre, Orton knew he could be who he needed to be, easy, cake, take the title home to St. Louis, all done. But then… Cody Rhodes won the title back.

The fans are torn, but Orton again says Cody Rhodes won the title back. So now, he and Cody are friends. Orton wasn’t gonna listen to Pat, he wasn’t gonna do what he needed to do, be who he needed to be, he wasn’t going to hurt his friend. But then, Cody gave Orton permission to be himself! Who the HELL is Cody to give Orton permission on anything?! Orton wrote the book on being himself! He is The Viper, he listens to the voices, and that cocky SOB tried to give Orton permission. This is how a friendship works: there is give and take, in case you didn’t know. But with Cody, well, all it ever is was give, give, give while Cody takes, takes, takes.

Tomorrow night, they main event night one of WrestleMania 42. But Orton wants to take us back to WM40, Cody VS Roman Reigns & The Rock, Cody needed a friend to team with! Someone to have his back! And he calls Seth Rollins?! All Cody does is take, take, take! And now, Solo’s Bloodline was all over Cody. What’d Orton do as a FRIEND? Orton is there to have Cody’s back! What’d he get for it? Orton got put through the table, with a near-career-ending back injury! All Cody does is take, take, take! And the best one yet is Cody gifting a WWE Championship to Orton’s friend, Kevin Owens! And wouldn’t you know it? Kevin turns on Cody!

So what’d Orton do? He had Cody’s back. Orton tried talking sense into Kevin, and what happens? Orton gets dropped on his head with a piledriver! Career threatening move, that could’ve been it! All Cody did is TAKE, TAKE, TAKE! Pat McAfee has done more for Orton than Cody has in HALF A LIFETIME! Pat hurts Orton’s legacy? No, helping Cody has hurt Orton’s legacy more than anything else! WrestleMania 42, night one, Orton rights the wrongs, fixes his legacy, and takes number 15 home where it belongs! And he’ll do it with the three most dangerous letters in all of sports entertainment: R K O!

Orton drops the mic, having said his piece. Orton then returns backstage, Pat waiting in the truck. Pat says great work, Randy! Orton hops in, Pat says that is what a WWE Superstar looks like! And tomorrow night, everything changes for the better. Pat will put in a good word for Aldis with upper management. Later, marks! Pat drives off, neither he or Orton caring to wait on Cody’s response. If Cody just takes, takes, takes, will he take an L along with the RKO? Or will he keep the title on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

8 Man Tag Street Fight: MFT VS The Wyatt Sick6!

While Solo Sikoa and Tama Tonga have disagreed on the Wyatt lantern, they both agree that this has to end between them and the Wyatts. But will it be a victorious moment to reunite and reinvigorate MFT? Or will Uncle Howdy, Erick Rowan, Joe Gacy & Dexter Lumis finally cut this “family tree” down?

SmackDown returns as the lights go down and the fireflies come out, because the Wyatts are making their entrance. The lantern is blown out, and then the Wyatts rush the ring! The bell rings as the brawl is on! Tonga Loa is considered the odd man out, but it doesn’t really matter in a Street Fight! Howdy keeps after Solo on the outside while Rowan and the others clear out Tama and Mateo. They mug Talla, BOOT him, but Talla stays up! Lumis RAMS Talla, fires hands, then Gacy joins in! They BOOT Talla again, then Rowan BOOTS Talla out! The fans fire up as Gacy & Lumis build speed, and they FLY out to take down the rest!

Rowan gets moving, but Loa trips Rowan up! Rowan BOOTS Loa away, then goes out to THROW him into barriers! The fans cheer as the Silverback is down, but then Talla LARIATS Rowan! Talla then pulls the steel steps apart! He RAMS Gacy down, then RAMS Lumis! And then it’s a STAIR DOWN for Rowan! The fans are torn as Talla truly stands tall, and SmackDown goes picture in picture. Talla steps on Rowan while the others beat up on Lumis and Gacy. Mateo CHOPS Lumis, then SMACKS him off the steps! Solo stomps Rowan, talks some trash to Vegas, then regroups with the others to mug Lumis.

Loa drags Gacy up, he and Mateo mug him, then stomp him down. Tama storms around, having handled Howdy, and he rains down fists on Lumis. Rowan is up and he CLOBBERS MFT! Talla whips, Rowan reverses, and Rowan POSTS Talla! Rowan storms into the ring, and he SPLASHES Tama in a corner! Then he LARIATS Mateo in the other! Rowan shoves Mateo so he can LEG LARIAT him down! Tama CLUBS Rowan, but Rowan shoves him back. Tama dodges, but runs into a BODY CHECK! Big Red is all fired up,, but Solo SMACKS him with a kendo stick! It was only a matter of time before someone went for the goodies.

MFT brawls with the Wyatts outside again, but Lumis & Gacy mug Mateo! Talla DECKS Gacy and UPPERCUTS Lumis! Solo has Howdy on the ropes, and Loa pulls Howdy’s arms to keep him trapped! Solo SMACKS Howdy on the back! And SMACKS him again! Loa lets go so Howdy can writhe in agony. SmackDown returns to single picture as Solo offers the kendo stick to Tama. Tama declines to throw hands and stomps on Howdy instead! Tama CHOKES Howdy, then he kicks Gacy. Tama whips, but Gacy enters the UPSIDE-DOWN! Then he dodges Mateo, Lumis helps out with the BACK SUPLEX NECKBRAEKER!

Lumis hits a back suplex on Solo, then kips up to LEG DROP! Gacy SUPERKICKS Talla off the apron! Gacy whips Lumis for a somersault and MONKEFY FLIP into a POWERBOMB! Now the cleanest but Gacy covers, only for Mateo to deadlift GERMAN SUPLEX! And an ATHLETIC PLEX on Lumis! Mateo hauls Lumis up again, shoves and clinches, OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! Mateo talks trash, then he stomps Howdy down. The fans rally for the Wyatts but Mateo talks more trash. Howdy rises up to ROCK Mateo! Howdy CLUBS away, but Talla is back! Talla fireman’s carries for a SAMOAN DROP! Talla soaks up heat, then he fireman’s carries Lumis! SAMOAN DROP!

Mateo feeds Gacy to Talla for another SAMOAN DROP! But then Rowan drags Mateo out! Rowan runs up on Talla, but Talla fireman’s carries?! Rowan fights free, and he SHOTGUNS Talla out! The fans fire up as Rowan DIVES! Down goes Talla and the fans are thunderous, “YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!” Rowan grabs a chair, tosses it into the ring, then he fetches more chairs, and even kendo sticks! The Wyatts all bring things out from under the ring, including trash cans! Rowan sets a can up while Gacy kicks and stops MFT where he finds them. Howdy & Rowan DOUBLE CAN SMASH Solo! Then Rowan pushes one onto Solo’s chest! FULL METAL SPLASH!

The fans fire up as the can is crushed! Solo flounders around while the Wyatts regroup, and SmackDown goes back to picture in picture.

Rowan helps Howdy stand, and Gacy throws hands on Tama. Gacy then whips Tama, but Tama reverses to send Gacy into steel steps! Howdy stomps Solo as he slides inside, and Rowan SMACKS Mateo with a kendo stick! Rowan SMACKS Mateo off the desk, but Tama SMACKS Howdy with a kendo stick! Tama helps Solo up while Loa & Mateo mug Rowan. Loa SMACKS Rowan with that beat up trash can! Tama CHOKES Howdy with a chair, and the fans cheer Nikki Cross as she dares Mateo to do something to her! Mateo lets her shout while he CHOKES Gacy. Solo THROWS Lumis into barriers! Tama SMACKS Rowan with the beat up trash can!

Nikki has a trash can and continues to egg Mateo on. Solo rolls into the ring and he sits a chair up. Solo drags Howdy up and over to SMACK him off said chair! Howdy is down in a heap, but Solo takes a seat. Solo taunts Howdy by tapping him with the kendo stick. Then Solo SAMCKS Howdy! Mateo has a kendo stick and he SMACKS Lumis down! Loa gets a kendo stick while Solo JAMS Howdy up with a chair! Solo struts corner to corner, then soaks up the heat before he runs in, HIP ATTACK! Howdy sputters while Solo fires up! Loa & Mateo keep mugging Rowan and Lumis. Solo eggs Howdy on, talks some trash, then rains down fists.

Solo struts around again as SmackDown returns to single picture. Solo runs corner to corner again, but Howdy dodges! Hips hit buckles, then Howdy SMACKS Solo with the chair! Tama is back to Howdy JAMS him up! And he JAMS Mateo up! Then he SMACKS Mateo down! The fans fire up as Howdy clinches, URENAGE on the chair! Solo writhes in agony while Howdy DECKS Loa! Loa bails out, Nikki goes up! SUPER CORSSBODY! Down goes Loa and the fans fire up! Howdy then clinches Solo, but Talla BOOTS him down! The giant then stands at the corner so Solo can climb up from the corner and onto Talla! SUPER FLYING SOLO!! Cover, GACY SMACKS SOLO!

The fans fire up as Gacy & Lumis fire off kendo sticks! They’re going yard, but Talla double guzels! DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS!! But Rowan SMACKS Talla with a chair! Talla stays up!? Rowan is pissed, but Talla SWATS the chair! Then Talla LARIATS Rowan and himself up and out of the ring! Howdy clinches Mateo, but Tama grabs Howdy for the TONGAN TWIST! The fans are torn as Tama takes off the arm sleeve. But then SAMOAN SPIKE from Solo on Howdy! Cover, MFT wins!

Winners: MFT, by pinfall

Tama was ready to strike, but Solo snatches the glory from him! But a win is a win, right? Or are the cracks in the foundation only getting worse?

 

Damian Priest & R-Truth walk ‘n’ talk backstage.

#WepaUp is in Vegas, and Truth says they’re facing one of the most iconic teams in WWE history in The New Day! Priest says hold on, New Day is on Raw. Exactly! Easy lay-up! Asuka cursed them! Here we go again. It’s Danhausen! No, that was last week. It’s Asuka this time. Xavier Woods is sick. So sick, he’s turning Sammy Sosa white! And he speaks with a British accent. Priest tries not to laugh, and also not to lose his mind. Isn’t that Grayson Waller? No, Waller is Aussie, Truth knows his geography. Priest says yes, Waller IS Australian. But we’re talking about Xavier Woods. No, Truth is talking about Waller. No, Truth is talking about Woods! Is Priest okay? Maybe…

Truth says get it together, dawg, they have a title match tonight, here in Vegas! What?! Truth hurries off, is any of what he just said real? And whether it’s Waller, Woods, or Whalberg, will Truth & Priest still be the W, W, E, Tag, Team, Champions~?

 

The Miz & Maryse renew their vows in Vegas.

Kit Wilson presides as The Hollywood A-Lister tells his lovely wife that a lot of great things have happened in his life thanks to the WWE. But by far the greatest thing is that he met Maryse. He just wants to say- DANHAUSEN!? Maryse turns around to see the Very Nice, Very Evil and very uninvited guest and freaks out. Danhausen says hi, how is everyone? Maryse asks who Danhausen even is, and he says he’s the ring bearer, the best man, AND the maid/man of honor! NO, HE’S NOT! Danhausen is NOTHING! Kit, do something! You may not curse the bride! No, wait, what?! YOU! ARE! CURSED!!

Miz is furious and he goes to CHOKE Danhausen! But in the struggle, they knock into Maryse, and Maryse stumbles into the wedding cake! Danhausen wipes some frosting from Mayrse’s nose, and says ooh, good vanilla. Stay tuned to WWE socials for the rest of this not-so-happy day.

 

Royce Keys speaks.

“I’m one of the few people I know from East Palo Alto that is living their dream.” He gets a bit emotional and asks for a moment. Royce is back at his childhood home. In 2021, Royce’s mother, Nita Hobson, suffered a fatal overdose. She was only 61 years old, and never saw her son’s dream come true. Royce knew the one person who would watch as his mom. She was proud of him. He had to try, because he misses his mom. Royce’s sister, Evelyn Hobson, says that regardless of what was going on, their mom was definitely proud of her kids. Royce knows his grandparents are with him, his mom is with him, and all the memories are with him. Those things kept him going.

Mark Henry says emotions are not a crutch. When you tap into them, you become stronger. Royce is a good man. He is the perfect example of working hard and making your dreams come true. No one from EPA should be here. Royce knows his mom is proud of him.

 

A police car drives up to the building…?

Sirens wail as the patrol car pulls into the garage, and then right up to the stage! On stage, even! The officer opens the passenger door, and out steps… JACOB FATU! The Samoan Werewolf steps right up onto the roof of the car, mic in hand, wearing custom airbrushed jeans! The fans cheer Fatu on while says, “Drew McIntyre… What, you wanna tell the whole world that I’m still a criminal? Huh? You still doubling back, huh? We can talk about my life all you want, I’m not ashamed of it, I’m not afraid of it, and for sure check this out, I for sure don’t live that life no more.”

The fans cheer that, and Fatu asks what, Drew thought putting Fatu in cuffs in front of Fatu’s family was gonna embarrass him? C’mon, man! Drew really thought putting Fatu in cuffs was gonna be embarrassing. That didn’t bother Fatu at all! HELL NAH! Even the popo know Fatu ain’t that guy no more! But this is where Drew gets very twisted. Tomorrow night, UNSANCTIONED MATCH! That means no Nick Aldis, no police, no security, no management, no Army, no Navy, hell! The SWAT Team can’t stop Fatu while he beats Drew’s ass! And the best thing about it: there is no one to save Drew!

Fatu has the cameraman come in close to get a clear view. “Drew, you try to put me back in that jail cell… Drew, you try to put me back in that jail cell where I done changed my life, but the truth is, I already put that in my rearview. And the truth is, Drew, when I get done beating your ass tomorrow, that’s exactly where I’m putting you: in the back of my rearview! So tomorrow night at WrestleMania 42, you’re gonna see Jacob Fatu shake them dreads!” Fatu geeks out, the fans cheer, and Fatu tells Drew to get a calculator, do the math, cuz tomorrow night at WM42, Fatu gonna dog walk that b*tch ass! YADADA MEAN?! Fatu has issued his warning, will Drew heed it?

 

#Charlexa talks backstage.

Alexa Bliss says ever since teaming with Charlotte, she’s tried all sorts of new flavors of ice cream, ended up with way more Charlotte Flair merch than she ever imagined, along with having signed some, but… She also became a tag team with a new best friend. Charlotte says yeah, 2025 was epic, and 2026 has been even better. But what would be the cherry on top? Winning the tag titles back at WrestleMania. But before that, they gotta beat Bayley & Lyra tomorrow night. They’ll walk into Mania with momentum, then walk out with as champions. But no matter what, they will still be best friends.

Charlotte knows that. The real gold is the friendship they made along the way. Friendship above all else. But how great would it be to have the real gold, too? Bliss rolls her eyes but Charlotte says c’mon, two-time champions would be awesome! Bliss has to get that! But will The Queen & “Blisster” be ready for #BayLyra later tonight?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: Damian Priest & R-Truth VS Kofi Kingston & Grayson Waller!

Despite getting names and faces mixed up, Truth was right, they ARE defending the titles tonight! But will it be #WepaUp in Vegas? Or will the “New G’Day” take these belts back to Raw with them?

SmackDown returns as Kofi & Waller make their entrance. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if it’ll still be #WepaUp!

The teams sort out and Priest starts against Waller. Waller tests the waters with a kick, then a JAB! Priest snarls, but Waller dodges the haymaker to fire off forearms! Waller whips, Priest reverses, but Waller ducks ‘n’ dodges, then slips through a scoop. Waller waistlocks, Priest bucks the O’Conner Roll, then he BOOTS Waller down! The fans cheer as Priest TOSSES Waller to the corner! Priest fires haymakers, then UPPERCUTS! Waller is dazed while Priest tags Truth. Priest clinches, Truth runs, LIE DETECTOR LEG SWEEP COMBO! The fans cheer while Truth ROCKS Waller. Truth goes up the corner and he rains down fists!

The fans count along, and Truth gest five before Waller YANKS him down! Waller CLUBS Truth, pushes him to the corner, then tags Kofi. Waller whips Kofi for Kofi to whip Waller into Priest! Waller talks trash as Priest falls, but Truth dodges Kofi and ROCKS Waller! Truth ROCKS Kofi, UPPERCUTS Waller, then kicks Kofi low! Kofi claims it was a little too low. Truth runs, but Waller DUMPS Truth out! The fans boo as Waller gets away with that one, but Priest is there to guzel Waller! But Kofi WRECKS Priest with a dropkick! Kofi is all fired up while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Kofi swaggers, soaks up heat, and maybe even eggs the fans on, before he puts Truth in the ring. Kofi pushes Truth to a corner, stomps a mudhole in, then talks more trash. Kofi runs corner to corner and he DROPKICKS Truth down! Cover, TWO! Truth toughs it out but Kofi clamps onto him. Kofi fires body shots, then tags Waller. They mug Truth, then Waller CLUBS Truth on the neck. Waller snapmares and basement dropkicks! Waller soaks up heat, then he sucker punches Priest! The ref reprimands but Waller ELBOWS Truth down! Waller stomps Truth, CHOKES him, but the ref is too busy with an angry Priest to stop him!

Waller CHOKES Truth on the ropes, the ref sees that, and Waller backs off. Waller brings Truth up but Truth fires haymakers! But Waller dropkicks the legs out! Waller drags Truth over, tags Kofi, and Waller sets Truth up for Kofi to BOOT down! Kofi swaggers around, soaks up more heat, then drags Truth around. Kofi waistlocks but Truth fights towards his corner! Priest reaches out for Truth, but Kofi keeps them fingertips apart! Kofi kicks and whips, then he trips Truth up! Kofi soaks up more heat while Truth writhes. Waller takes Truth’s shoe to do a “shoey” with, before Kofi AX HANDLES Truth down! Cover, TWO!

Kofi tags Waller, they mug Truth again, and Waller suplexes, only for Truth to cradle counter, TWO! Waller ELBOWS Truth down! Waller talks trash, daring Truth to go tag Priest. Truth then drags Truth up, and ROLLING ELBOWS! SmackDown returns to single picture as Waller tags Kofi! FAMOUSER, then the BALLER ELBOW DROP! Kofi covers, TWO! Kofi runs to PENALTY KICK! The fans boo but Kofi swaggers around even more. Kofi runs to stomp Truth down! Waller tags himself in and Kofi asks what he’s doing. Waller goes up, Kofi fireman’s carries, but Truth slips fere! Truth shoves Kofi into Waller, and Waller HOTSHOTS off ropes!

Kofi hurries to anchor Truth, Truth BOOTS him into Waller! Hot tag to Priest! Priest fires BIG haymakers on Waller and Kofi! Then JUMP KICK after JUMP KICK! ELBOW on Kofi in one corner, ELBOW on Waller in the other! Kofi runs up, but into a clinch and FLATLINER! Priest then has Waller for a wrench and knuckle lock! Priest goes up and the fans cheer for an Old School CROSSBODY! Priest fires up and the fans are with him! Priest powers up the arm, runs the ropes, COMEBSCK- NO, Waller ducks that to wrench and- NO, Priest dodges to COMEBACKER! Cover, Kofi breaks it! Kofi calls to Waller, but Truth is starting up a “New! Day Sucks!” chant!?

Kofi is upset because Truth thinks he needs to tag him!? Kofi slaps Truth’s hand away, but Truth takes that as the tag! Truth runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and starts up the “Ron Cena” Shoulder Tackles! SPIN-OUT BOMB! And yes, Truth puts his hand up! Priest scoop SLAMS Waller down next to Kofi! Truth says Priest should join in, but Priest isn’t so sure. The fans say yes, join in! Priest shrugs and says, “You Can’t See Me!” Priest & Truth run for a DOUBLE FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Priest then pops Waller up so he and Truth can hit a 3D! Cover, Priest & Truth win!

Winners: Damian Priest & R-Truth, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

The dynamic, if not a bit delusional, duo does it again! Will it be #WepaUp then, now, and forever?

 

Jade Cargill is here!

The Storm has arrived in Las Vegas, and she has her Baddies back. Mia Yim & B-Fab have recovered from Rhea Ripley wrecking them, and the trio goes to the ring. Jade grabs a mic, but before she can say two words, Rhea makes HER way out here! Vegas cheers Mami as she steps out on stage, but without reinforcements this week. Rhea isn’t afraid, though, as she walks to the ring. Rhea grabs a mic before she goes to the apron, and she says, “Jade… I just wanted to come out here before you started talking and wasted everyone’s time. First of all, there’s nothing that I’d like more than to lay you out right now, especially after everything you have done.

“But I don’t wanna give you an excuse not to be able to walk into WrestleMania. And I know I’m not normally the most patient of people… I’m normally not.” The fans cheer Rhea on and she smiles. Rhea says Jade is lucky Rhea isn’t in there already, whooping her ass. The fans cheer but Jade mockingly smiles. Rhea says Jade hasn’t been able to give Rhea a chance to face her fair and square. Rhea thinks Jade is scared. And when it comes to WrestleMania, Rhea can’t wait to embarrass Jade! Fab says, “Embarrass her? Rhea, the only one that should be embarrassed is you! Uh-huh, yeah! Shut up! You’re the one that keeps coming for Jade, and failing!

The fans boo but Rhea says she hasn’t even had the chance to go after Jade. See, ever since Rhea won Elimination Chamber, Jade’s done nothing but hiding. She hides behind her minions, behind social media, and anything she can to not be 1v1 with Rhea. So if there’s anything Jade wants to say, this is her last chance to say it alone. Jade has Mia & Fab stand down, and asks, “I’m scared? Aww, I’m scared~ of some cosplay goth kid with insecurities? Yeah, okay. I’m everything you wish you could be! A REAL b*tch! And yeah, you got your way around here, but that’s cuz of that weak ass locker room back there.”

The fans boo but Jade says she’s not hiding. She’s just trying to spare Rhea. And since Rhea didn’t learn the lesson, on Sunday, Jade will put belt to ass! And if Rhea keeps talking, Jade will make it quick. Rhea asks Jade if she really thinks Rhea wants to be like Jade. Oh, no no no, Rhea doesn’t wanna be anything like Jade. Rhea’s been fighting women like Jade her entire life, actually. And if you wanna bring up insecurities like they’re a bad thing, like they hold Rhea back, no, they make her the person she is today! They’re the reason Rhea is a multiple time champion in the WWE! The fans cheer that!

So if Jade wants to make it quick, then Rhea can make it quick! But she promises, it won’t be in Jade’s favor, “you narcissistic, selfish, fake ass b*tch!” The fans cheer Rhea on that one! The two stare down, but Jade holds up the belt. Jade storms off, her Baddies following behind. But will Mami still end up on top on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

MFT regroups backstage.

They’re all feeling food from the win, and Solo says that is what he’s been talking about! The Wyatts are finished, and that happened cuz MFT worked together as a team! Tama says yeah, right, a team. Yeah, a team! Anyways, this is just getting started. Solo wants Talla to win the Andre the Giant Battle Royal and bring that trophy home! MFT, time to get ready! Meanwhile, Solo will talk to Aldis and see about getting the tag team titles back! MFT is feeling good, but will they keep winning while they have the hot hand? Or are they about to bust and go broke?

 

WWE Women’s United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Tiffany Stratton VS Jordynne Grace!

Giulia continues to hold onto the gold with an iron grip, but now is the time to name her next challenger. Will the Wrestling Barbie get back on her winning ways during WrestleMania season? Or will the Juggernaut finally get a golden opportunity?

SmackDown returns, and Giulia & Kiana James have appeared ringside to watch this match with their own eyes. The bell rings and the two shake hands to show there is sportsmanship here. They tie up, Grace headlocks, but Tiff powers up only for Grace to whip her away. Tiff leapfrogs over the backdrop, but then Grace fireman’s carries Tiff, only for Tiff to sunset flip it! TWO, and Grace SLIDING- NO, Tiff catches Grace to a ghost pin! ONE, and Tiff ducks a shot! Grace ducks a kick, and the fans cheer the standoff. Grace and Tiff reset, circle, and they tie up. Tiff waistlocks but Grace ELBOWS free! Grace whips, drops, but Tiff handsprings over!

The fans cheer as Tiff says it’s still her time. Tiff ducks ‘n’ dodges, then counters the hip toss into a JAWBREAKER! Grace falls, Tiff covers, TWO! Grace goes to a corner, Tiff runs up, but Grace slips around to RAM Tiff into buckles again and again! Grace backslides then short arm LRIATS! And short arm LARIATS! But Tiff ducks the next one, only for Grace to ELBOW her again! Grace Electric Chair Lifts to HOTSHOT Tiff, then LARIAT her down! The fans are torn but Grace covers Tiff, TWO! Tiff toughs it out while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Grace drags Tiff up, slaps her on the back to copy the rallying applause, then she pump handles Tiff. Tiff fights the lift, Grace fires knees into her, then Grace short arm LARIATS! Tiff flounders but Grace hushes the crowd. Grace CHOPS Tiff on the back! And then LARIATS back and forth, front and back! Grace winds up, runs, but Tiff ELBOWS her down! Tiff shakes out the arm and nods as she paces around. Tiff drags Grace up, bumps her off buckles, then stomps a mudhole in! The ref counts, Tiff stops at 4, and Tiff drags Grace up to reel her in. Tiff snap suplexes, then rolls to a cover, TWO! Grace toughs it out after that hard landing.

Tiff stays on Grace, CHOKES her on the ropes, but stops as the ref counts. Tiff ROCKS Grace, CHOKES her again, then runs the ropes to HIP ATTACK! Grace falls, Tiff covers, TWO! Grace survives again but Tiff stays cool. Grace fires body shots, Tiff stomps Grace down. Grace eggs Tiff on so Tiff fires off shots! Grace shoves Tiff, Tiff kicks low! Tiff fires forearms, then whips to ELBOW Grace down! Cover, TWO! Grace stays in this but Tiff stays on her. Tiff whips Grace to a corner, Grace reverses, and Tiff rebounds into the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Grace goes up, up, and VADER BOMBS! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives but Grace stays focused.

Grace puts Tiff in a corner, fires forearm after forearm, then gets space to run up, into a BOOT! Tiff reels Grace in as SmackDown returns to single picture. The fans duel while Grace hoists Tiff up top! Grace UPPERCUTS Tiff, then climbs up to join her. Grace SUPERPLEXES then rolls through, to deadlift, but Tiff DDT COUNTERS! The fans fire up while both women are down again! Tiff and Grace slowly rise up, and the fans cheer as Tiff fires a forearm! Grace fires back, Tiff fires again, and Grace CHOPS! Tiff CHOPS, and the forearms fly again! Grace gets the edge, but Tiff BOOTS Grace, ducks a shot, then KNEES Grace down!

Tiff runs up, but Grace avoids the double stomps to roll Tiff up! TWO, but Grace reels Tiff in, only for Tiff to power up! Grace fights that lift, ducks a kick, but Tiff ELBOWS Grace again! Then TIFFY STOMPS! Cover, TWO! Grace survives and Tiff grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Grace crawls to ropes, Tiff runs up, but Grace BOOTS her! Grace skins the cat, then she catches Tiff in a trap! Grace body scissors in the ropes to HEADBUTT again and again and again! The fans fire up as Grace HEADBUTTS and Tiff staggers. Grace fireman’s carries, ROLLING DEATH VALLEY! Then a lift and tuck, PACKAGE POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!!

Tiff survives and Grace grows frustrated. The fans rally up again as Grace and Tiff rise. Grace drags Tiff up, and reels her into the Reverse Gory! But Tiff slips free, shoves Grace, then handsprings to STUNNER! Grace wobbles, Tiff fires up, and Tiff fireman’s carries! ROLLING SENTON! Then Tiff signals to Giulia that she’s getting the belt! PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER! Cover, Tiff wins!

Winner: Tiffany Stratton, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the WWE Women’s United States Championship)

Tiff stares Giulia down again, but Giulia doesn’t sweat it. Will Tiff prove it’s her time again? Or will she succumb to the Beautiful Madness?

 

Trick Williams is here!

Las Vegas is all fired up for Hollywood Trick and his lemon pepper steppers! They chant “Whoop Dat Trick!” as he goes to the ring. Trick grabs the mic to say, “What?” “Whoop Dat Trick!” “Huh?!” “Whoop Dat Trick!” “Uh-huh!” “Whoop Dat Trick!” “I like it!” The fans cheer as Trick shouts out Booker T with that. Trick says, “Now hear me out. Usually, I come out here, it’s all smiles, games, and jokes. Not tonight. Tonight, I got something to get off my chest, so we gon’ talk about it. Sami Zayn, last week, you crossed the line. Roll the footage!” Trick cues it up, and what Trick means is when Lil Yachty tripped Sami up off the apron, and Sami responded with a HELLUVA KICK!

Trick says Sami hit Lil Yachty with that kick. Last week, Sami hit Trick’s friend with a Helluva Kick. Last week, Sami hurt Trick’s friend with that Helluva Kick! We don’t know when Yachty’s coming back. It might be tomorrow, it might be Sunday, but that means Sami did something worse than hurt Trick’s friend. He hurt Trick’s WrestleMania entrance with that Helluva Kick! so this is what we gonna do about it. We ain’t waiting ’til Sunday! Grown folk talking, we gonna take care of business tonight! Sami Zayn, Gingerbread Man, bring yo’ ass out here! The fans cheer, and Sami appears! Wait, no, that’s someone in a Gingy the Gingerbread Man costume…

Trick laughs as he clearly mocks Sami with this. Trick has them cut the music, and he introduces Vegas to Sami the Gingerbread Man. The fans chant “GINGERBREAD! GINGERBREAD!” Trick says he’s supposed to be mad, but here looking at him, Sami looks upset himself. What’s wrong, Gingerbread Man? No diehard Sami Zayn fans in San Jose? Maybe there are some here in Vegas. Doesn’t sound like it… So maybe, all the diehard Sami fans are on Dreary Lane. Nah, c’mon, listen to Trick. When life gives you lemons, you put on your lemon pepper steppers, and mind your business when grown folks talkin’!

This Sunday, it is all about Trick Williams! His first WrestleMania, his moment ot get the US Championship! And he’ll do whatever it takes to get the title! He’ll be whooping something! Vegas, tell ’em what we gon’ do. “Whoop Dat Trick!” Sami says yeah, that’s good, that’s great. The fans boo as the REAL Sami walks out on stage. Sami says this is real funny. He’s “glad” Trick’s having fun and taking his first Mania so seriously. He almost envies it! Sami wishes he was having this much fun, but he hasn’t been having a good time for a very long time. Sami is walking in as THE US Champion, and he’s still not having a good time!

But by the sounds of it, it sounds like the fans here have also not been having fun. The fans taunt Sami but Sami still doesn’t get what he did wrong! He doesn’t! But truth is, Sami doesn’t care. Sami is doing this, and does this every day, for the Ride or Die Sami Fans! The ones that have been with him since day one! Sami steps into the ring, and says make no mistake, there are still plenty of those fans watching at home and even here in Vegas! They will be in Sami’s corner for Mania and beyond. But here’s the thing, Trick… Fans tell Sami to shut up but Sami says no, they’ll get to that.

But ever since Trick got here like four months ago and interrupted Sami, everyone’s been talking about Trick… Okay, can the gingerbread guy not stand like that? No, stop, the hands on hips is worse. Go away, Sami doesn’t wanna see him. The fans boo but Sami says Trick was supposedly the future of the company. Sami was the first to agree. But what has Trick shown Sami since? Not a whole lot. Trick has a great entrance, a good catchphrase, and can even drop a good diss track, congrats. But y’know what Trick hasn’t shown Sami? Anything where it counts, and that’s in this ring when it matters most!

So now when Sami looks a Trick, Sami doesn’t see the future of the WWE anymore. Sami sees Trick now as “a little punk rookie.” The fans boo but Sami says this punk rookie is about to walk into his first Mania with one of the best to ever do it! And he’ll realize at Mania that he bit off more than he can chew, because instead of taking this seriously, he walked into the biggest match of his life without a plan! Trick says, “No plan, Sami? Look at me, I AM the plan! I been here for four months, and took you, the veteran, all off your game. Trying to find yourself. You’re coming your hair now! Your breath still smells like ten pounds of bounce dat ass.

“You done lost yourself! You’re crashing out. There ain’t a safe water bottle backstage cuz you don’t know how to find Sami Zayn no more. That’s right, you’re Sami Zayn, one of the most respected guys in the locker room. The guy with all the accolades, all the titles. Tag team, Intercontinental, you had it, you done it. But you threw that all away because this rookie got in the game. Who doesn’t have a plan, Sami? Look at me when I’m talking to you. Because the truth is… I’m the one that’s gonna get the job done. Let’s talk about it.” The fans chant “Whoop Dat Trick!” but Sami asks if Trick thinks that is in his head! Trick is in Sami’s head?

This is your big plan?! This is the plan that Trick cooked up in that big ol’ head of his? Trick, standing in the ring, two days before their match, with a guy in a gingerbread costume. The fans again chant for “GINGERBREAD!” and Trick says no, he’s standing in the ring with two gingerbread men. Sami throws hands! Trick fires back, the fans fire up, and Trick gets the edge! Trick DECKS Sami! Trick throws off the jacket, but Sami dodges the lariat to then LARIAT Trick up and out! Sami is all fired up and says when Trick is in this ring, he’s in Sami’s world! And then Sami looks at Gingy… Gingerbread Man wants a timeout, and Sami says yeah, it’s fine, you’re good.

HELLUVA KICK!! The foam head turns around as the guy falls over! Sami has a real laugh now, but then TRICK SHOT takes Sami down! Trick holds up the title, will it be his after WrestleMania? Or will Sami find a way to whoop that Trick?

 

We hear from all the teams in the Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way.

Brie Bella says, “WrestleMania: where legacies are defined. My sister and I built this division, and even with Nikki fighting through an injury, we’re showing up. Because when the Bella Twins step on that stage, the standard is set.” Charlotte Flair counters with, “Standard? It’s not about where you’ve been…” Alexa adds, “It’s about who owns the division now.” Lyra Valkyria tells them all that they better be ready to prove it. Bayley adds that no one gets handed something at Mania. Nia Jax says right, they don’t get handed anything. Lash Legend says they’ll get run over! Because that is exactly what the Irresistible Forces have done with every team that’s stepped in the ring with them.

Brie says the Bellas have heard all this before. Nikki’s rehabbing and fighting like hell. They’ve been doing this together their whole lives. Whenever something tries to take them out, they find a way back. Charlexa didn’t even like each other, and they still figured out how to become champions. That is what makes them dangerous. But BayLyra says this isn’t about what you’ve had, it’s about what you can do when it matters. Brie says Mania won’t be about reminding people of who the Bellas were, but who they still are. Charlexa says at Mania, they take back what’s theirs, together as friends.

BayLyra vows to bring their absolute best, and make everything they’ve been through the past year worth it! Nia & Lash say don’t worry, they’ll make sure everyone gets their “moment.” But this will be the last moment they ever have! Everyone is ready, but who will survive when the odds are in no one’s favor?

 

Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss VS Bayley & Lyra Valkyria!

We’ve heard them all talk, now is the last chance for momentum going into that title fight! Will The Queen & “Blisster” or The Role Model & Morrigan be red hot going into WrestleMania?

There’s tension between the teams already, and Lyra ROCKS Charlotte! The brawl is on! The fans fire up as Charlotte CLOBBERS Lyra while Bayley and Bliss trade hands! Bayley gest around to SAIDO Bliss, but Charlotte CHOPS Lyra! And CHOPS again! Lyra dodges the third to then WHEEL KICK Charlotte down! Bliss sends Bayley into buckles, but HERE COMES NIA! She CLOBBERS Lyra, and then Lash DECKS Bliss! So much for a match! Charlotte RAMS Nia into a corner, BOOTS her, but Lash BOOTS Charlotte! Lash pumped the brakes, but Bayley jumps on Nia for a SLEEPER! Nia RAMS Bayley into buckles!

Lash SPLASHES Bayley, but Lyra fires off Lash! Nia CLUBS Lyra, then Lash hauls her up. Lash DECKS Lyra with that legendary right! Lash then hauls Lyra back up, Nia climbs a corner, and Lash has the BEARHUG! Lash THRASHES Lyra, then sets her up for Nia’s SUPER LEG DROP! This may not have been a match, but the momentum is all on the side of the Irresistible Forces! Will it not matter if The Bellas add themselves to the equation when it comes to these two?

 

2026 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal!

Once more, WWE honors the Eighth Wonder of the World with this battle royal, with superstars from Raw, SmackDown, and now even NXT and AAA, battling for their place in history! Royce Keys makes his entrance as SmackDown returns, but wait! “Say his name and he appears! I believe in Joe Hendry!” Yes, The Prestigious Joe Hendry is here and has Las Vegas waving their hands from side to side! Hendry tops off the field, and the bell rings! Angel takes off his pants and throws them at Kit Wilson! Kit says that’s TOXIC, and everyone is brawling! The fans fire up as the Grandes are after each other, and Kit PIE FACES Hendry!

Hendry just TURNS! Kit is started, and he trips over the prone body of Johnny Gargano! Kit tumbles up and out and to the floor, Hendry & Gargano ELIMINATE Kit! Los Garza brawl with Hendry, Shiloh Hill and LA Parka work together against Alpha Academy, and Nathan Frazer is already holding on for dear life! Axiom saves Frazer from MCMG, TOSSES Sabin out, but then Sabin fireman’s carries Frazer! Frazer fights free, ROCKS Sabin, and they brawl! Frazer SUPERKICKS Sabin, but Sabin BOOTS Frazer! Frazer dangles but he skins the cat to UP KICK Sabin! But then Gargano comes to life to BLAST Frazer! Frazer hits desk, then floor, Gargano ELIMINATES Frazer!

Sabin realizes Gargano is a friend, and they reach out for a high-five, but then Axiom runs up! Gargano dodges, the DROPKICK knocks Sabin down! Axiom ELIMINATES Sabin! Gargano fires off on Axiom, and El Grande Americano Original THROWS El Grande Americano Nuevo over! EGA Nuevo holds on, but Original goes after that mask! The fans are torn, but Talla DUMPS both Grandes out, DOUBLE ELIMINATION! The fans are torn but at least no one was unmasked. Talla stomps Fenix, Hendry kicks Wilde, and Shiloh fires up as he brawls with Ilja! The fans fire up as those two madmen trade shots! Ilja PELES, but Shiloh ROCKS Ilja! Ilja DUMPS Shiloh out!

Shiloh stays up but Ilja JUMP KICKS him down and ELIMINATES him! Los Garza mug LA Parka, but he fires back and dances. He TOSSES Berto, then dodges Angel! KNEE for Angel, Park runs up, but Angel y Berto stop the monkey flip to DUMP Parka and ELIMINATE him! The fans boo as Berto mocks the dance, but Fenix blows past Angel to DROPKICK Berto! Fenix ELIMINATES Berto while he TORNADO DDTS Angel! The fans cheer Fenix, and now Psycho Clown is up! He scoops Garza for a BACKBREAKER, then a pop-up UPPERCUT! Psycho Clown RIPS his own mask-face! Then he HEADBUTTS Angel!

Angel dodges a lariat, but Royce runs up! Angel dodges that, and Royce’s LARIAT sends Psycho Clown up and out! Royce ELIMINATES Psycho Clown! Angel wants Royce to hold on, but Royce hoists him up! Angel fights free, and Axiom fights off Gargano and Shelley! Shelley SUPERKICKS Axiom, then Gargano hits ONE FINAL BEAT! Axiom falls, Gargano ELIMINATES another one! Shelley helps his old friend up, but Fenix says ADIOS AMIGOS! PENALTY KICK hits Shelley! Shelley falls, Fenix ELIMINATES him! Fenix then sees Gargano holding on. Gargano RAMS low, then slingshots, but into a SUPERKICK!

The fans fire up as Crews and Nakamura brawl, Tozawa brawls with Ilja, and Crews BOOTS Nakamura! Nakamura DUMPS Crews out, then dodges a shot! Crews dodges one, but not the WHEEL KICK! Nakamura ELIMINATES Crews! Hendry FALL AWAY SLAMS Cardona, then kips up to TURN! Gargano CROSSBODIES, but Hendry catches Gargano! FALL AWAY SLAM! Kip up and… TURN! The fans cheer Hendry, but Aleister TOSSES Hendry and ELIMINATES him! The fans boo but the Dark Father is not a believer. Talla CLOBBERS Aleister, soaks up heat, then brawls with the LWO! He TOSSES Cruz, but Wilde fires off!

Wilde whips but Talla reverses to TOSS and ELIMINATE Wilde! Cruz GAMANGIRIS, but Talla SHOVES Cruz down to ELIMINATE him, too! Talla snarls, but now everyone turns their attention to him! Fenix, Angel, Gargano, Ilja, and Cardona all go after Talla, but he EXPLODES free! UPPERCUT for Gargano, for Angel, then a LARIAT for Cardona! Fenix fires off kick after kick, but Talla SWATS the roundhouse to TOSS Fenix! Fenix clings to the ropes, but Talla runs up! Fenix fires fast hands, then goes up, up, and leaps, into the guzel! CHOKE SLAM to the apron! Fenix falls to the floor, Talla ELIMINATES him!

The fans boo but Cardona and Angel ROCK and ENZIGIRI Talla! SUPERKICK! CHOP! SPIN CHOP! Nakamura adds a KINSHASA!! Talla is down, but Aleister TOSSES Nakamura to ELIMINATE him! The Dark Father continues to pick his spots, but did he perhaps take out the wrong threat? Ilja BOOTS Aleister, then runs up, only to be put on the apron! Ilja ROCKS Aleister, climbs back up, but Aleister STEP-UP KICKS! Ilja falls to the floor, Aleister ELIMINATES another one! But then Tozawa GERMAN SUPLEXES Aleister! The fans fire up for the Stamina Monster as he rips off that shirt! But then the BLACK MASS hits!

Aleister TOSSES Tozawa to ELIMINATE him! Otis takes note of that, and the Dozer is unleashed! he LARIATS Aleister, he LARIATS Cardona, then scoops Angel to SLAM him! The fans fire up for Otis as he sends Angel into Gargano, and SPLASHES them both! Otis TOSSES and ELIMINATES Angel, and Gargano is prone! Otis rips his shirt off, and he starts up the CATERPILLAR~! SPLASH! Otis TOSSES and ELIMINATES Gargano! Cardona BOOTS Otis, then runs up, ROUGH- POWERBOMB! Otis TOSSES and ELIMINATES Cardona! The fans fire up again as Dozer makes himself part of the final four along with Aleister, Nakamura and Royce!

Otis and Aleister brawl, Aleister fires off kicks, but Otis dodges with a roll! WERCKING HAYMAKER! Otis HEADBUTTS an ELBOW! BLACK MASS!! Otis flops over, Aleister huffs ‘n’ puffs, but Royce steps up! Royce shoves Aleister, but Aleister KNEES back! Royce LARIATS Aleister up and out to ELIMINATE him!! The fans are thunderous as now, it comes down to the three biggest men in the match! Royce stares down with Talla, but Otis bulldozes throogh them both! Otis RUNS Royce over, then SPALSHES Talla! And he SPLASHES Royce! Otis scoops for the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM!

The fans fire up but then Talla BOOTS Otis! The fans boo but Talla TOSSES Otis up and out to ELIMINATE him! Talla then prepares for Royce. Guzel! CHOKE- NO, Royce slips free, dodges a boot, and he SPINEBUSTERS! The fans fire up as Royce handles Town Bidness! The straps come down, Royce LARIATS Talla up and out, and WINS!!

Winner: Royce Keys (2026 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Champion)

His debut was in the Royal Rumble, but his biggest moment is the SmackDown before WrestleMania! Immortalized  on the trophy forever, will 2026 become The Year of the Powerhouse?

 

Cody Rhodes is here!

The American Nightmare has finally arrived, and the fans sing along with Kingdom as the Undisputed WWE Champion makes his entrance, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, then he fires the fans up as he goes to the ring. The fans cheer and sing as Cody gets the mic, and Cody says, “So, Las Vegas, Nevada! WrestleMania 42, the SmackDown the night before, what do we wanna talk about?!” The fans cheer, and Cody says here is what we won’t talk about. We won’t talk about the last three WrestleManias and the apparent conspiracy theory that a certain somebody is needling Cody, is messing with him.

Whether it’s the inclusion of The Final Boss a few years ago, or Travis Scott last year, or even someone who Cody won’t name but should just go home. The fans chant, “Go Home Pat! Go Home Pat!” Cody smiles, and says tomorrow is simple: It is about two men in a single contest, fighting for the oldest and the richest prize in the game. It is Cody Rhodes VS his mentor in this business, the Legend Killer, the Apex Predator, Randy Orton! The fans cheer, and Cody says he doesn’t subscribe to that conspiracy theory. He feels this all just comes with the territory. It is Randy, he was out here talking about Cody just taking, like that’s all he does.

Cody says that’s an interesting choice of words for Randy, since Randy has never taken responsibility in his life. And Randy, the best he’s ever been, which he is, 2009 as we keep referencing. Cody was there, he saw what Orton did, burning everything in his path, went to Mania, wrestled for this title, and he lost. Unfortunately, as good as Randy has become, as good as Randy is, he is now associated with a world most wrestlers- WAIT! CM PUNK is here?! The fans fire up and Cody is surprised to see the World Heavyweight Champion here, and in a suit! Well, the Hall of Fame induction ceremony is after this so it makes sense.

Punk joins Cody in the ring and grabs a mic. The fans finish singing Cult of Personality, then they cheer as the two champions stand together. Cody says he just wants to ask, champ to champ and friend to friend, if they were to hug it out, will Punk go and kick Cody in the balls, too? Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” Cody and Punk both chuckle, and Punk says there are a lot of people who deserve to get kicked in the balls, but Cody ain’t one of them. Punk is here to give Cody some advice, but to also stop Cody from mentioning someone’s name who doesn’t deserve to be named, who is a tourist in this business and does not deserve anyone’s time, energy, or anything else.

Is Cody wearing a bowtie? Well yes, they dress up for the Hall of Fame. Punk’s looking rather dapper, too, ol’ Chick Magnet. Yes, Punk knew Cody would draw attention to that. This is the first time Punk’s worn a suit on WWE TV since… Teddy Long’s wedding! Remember that? Yes, Jagged Edge was there. Anyway, they go back a long way, they’ve stood in this ring in front of these people multiple times before as friends, competitors, and talked about who is chasing who. Cody once said he was chasing Punk, and then after their respective hiatuses from WWE, Punk was chasing Cody.

Now, Punk wants to take this moment to relish the fact that they are live on a Friday night in Las Vegas, ten toes down, looking at each other as friends and champions, both headlining WrestleMania. They’re past Punk giving Cody advice, because Cody has done and said things Punk has yet to even accomplish. If Punk was ever a teacher to Cody, he isn’t now, but Punk still wants Cody to focus on Randy. They know how dangerous Randy is. Cody’s learned from some of the best: John Cena, Dusty Rhodes, and if Randy was ever Cody’s teacher, he sure ain’t one now. So in a way, maybe, we don’t know what happens tomorrow so Punk won’t make promises he can’t keep.

But Punk does know this: On Monday, win, lose or draw, Cody will be back, Punk will be back, and Cody helped build this up. Punk can only ask all the fans to please come along with them on this adventure! So champ to champ, friend to friend, brother to brother, Punk is proud of Cody. The fans cheer that! Punk and Cody shake hands, and Punk wishes Cody luck and tells him to have fun. Cody says hold on, Punk. It might subvert expectations with Punk always teaching Cody things, but Cody knows there’s something he wants to share with Punk. Cody knows who Punk is up against this Sunday. It is a guy they’ve literally created terms for, he is that good.

Punk is up against the most dominant WrestleMania main-eventer in the history of this, The OTC, Roman Reigns. But Punk, you’re not borne into this like Roman was or Cody was. Punk came into wrestling cuz he loved it. He trained with Harley Race, with Terry Funk, found his tribe. WWE came to Punk when they weren’t even looking at guys who looked like Punk. They wanted Punk so bad, they let him keep his name! And then Punk went away for ten YEARS, but he captured the fans’ attention so much, they chanted his name for ten years straight, and loudly! The fans chant “C M PUNK!” even now.

Cody tells Punk that he could’ve come back, waved his hat, done the greatest hits, but he didn’t. Punk came back better than ever! Maybe it’s like George Foreman or Tom Brady, but in the language of wrestling, this was an HBK! HBK came back after five years and a debilitating back injury, and here’s Punk, better than Punk has ever been! If there’s a conversation going on about a “Mr. WrestleMania,” from #MachoKing to HBK, then Punk’s about to make that conversation. The NEW Mr. WrestleMania is C M PUNK! The fans like the sound of that! Cody then tells Punk to hear something from him as one of the handful of people who have the right to say it.

Cody thanks Punk for everything he taught Cody, for sharing this moment with him and the fans tonight. And if it means anything, someone that Punk took a great deal of counsel with, that he made a promise to, Dusty would be extremely proud of Punk. Cody loves you, brother. They hug it out, and the fans cheer. Punk says hold on, cut the music, don’t credit us out! He isn’t crying tonight, he’ll cry on Sunday after he beats Roman’s ass! Cody says he loves Punk, Punk loves all the fans, and they’re here for them! These titles are as much the fans’ as they are Punk’s and Cody’s, so they’re gonna celebrate with the people!

The fans cheer as the champions of WWE stand with their people! But will they both still be the champions of the WWE? Or will this WrestleMania Weekend change everything?


My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown, but pretty much Go Home Syndrome. The recap and hype packages were good, maybe even great, but they didn’t really add much heat. Good promo from Pat and Orton to open, not that it added much. Cody and Punk had a very good promo to close the show, and I wonder if this is foreshadowing them both standing tall, or them both falling to Roman and Orton. Cody even addressed the “conspiracy” so I wonder if that turns out to be true (in kayfabe). It would be pretty wild if the next chapter is some new faction that parallels The Authority and Vince McMahon, aka the powers at be holding down our heroes.

Hilarious promo from Truth & Priest to set up their tag title match, and of course Priest & Truth win. Their defenses haven’t been against the strongest of teams, so it makes me think once a solid team is put up against them, this all falls apart. Not sure if it’ll be MFT, but it’d make sense after Solo was talking about getting things back on track. Very good 8 Man Tag Street Fight, but of course they leaned into the 5v4 nature since it was No DQ and Loa was of course going to get involved. Good win for MFT, very good showing for Talla in the battle royal, and I appreciated seeing Hendry here tonight. But c’mon, Royce Keys was hands down winning, and what a great honor for him. Now, we just have to wait and see who is US Champion (or maybe even Intercontinental?).

Good promo from Trick and Sami with the Shrek Gingerbread Man mascot. I almost thought that was going to be Sami in the costume, but Sami got to give a good promo as himself. It bordered on Heel, so maybe we’re getting a double turn through this. Trick standing tall doesn’t bode well for his chances in the match, though. Maybe Heel Sami cheats hard to get the win, and we can run it back at Backlash. Hilarious stuff with Danhausen, The Miz, Maryse, and Kit. I wonder if we get more during Mania, or we wait until SmackDown to build towards Backlash. I feel like Danhausen still needs a tag partner, I just don’t know who it’d be.

A little disappointing that the women’s tag match was another case of Irresistible Forces attacking, but with the Bellas on hold because of Nikki’s rehab, this is about all they could do for a build. Well, that or a Triple Threat of one member each, like Charlotte VS Bayley VS Nia. Very good match from Tiff VS Grace, and Tiff winning her shot at Giulia is good. They’ll have a very good US Championship match of their own, and I would think it’s set for Backlash. And a decent promo from Rhea and Jade, but this build has just been lacking something the whole time. They tried using Iyo to help this, but maybe if they were building Rhea VS Jade AND Iyo VS Asuka, it would’ve worked out better. No idea who wins at Mania, but the fans clearly want Rhea at this point.

My Score: 8.7/10

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