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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/4/22)

Ronda shall layeth the smack down!

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SmackDown 2022

It’s a golden, grudge filled Friday Night SmackDown!

The Usos defend their tag titles against the Viking Raiders, Sami Zayn defends his Intercontinental Championship against Ricochet, and Ronda Rousey’s after Sonya Deville’s hide!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn VS Ricochet; Ricochet wins and becomes the new WWE Intercontinental Champion.
  • Naomi w/ Sasha Banks VS Carmella w/ Zelina Vega; Naomi wins.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Jinder Mahal w/ Shanky; McIntyre wins.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura w/ Rick Boogs VS ???; No Contest.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Viking Raiders; The Usos win and retain the titles.
  • Big E w/ Kofi Kingston VS Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland; No Contest.
  • Ronda Rousey VS Sonya Deville; Rousey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Paul Heyman opens the show.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I swerve as Special Counsel to the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion and THE WrestleMania Main Event. Tonight, SmackDown is blessed not only with his presence, but with your opportunity to acknowledge the Tribal Chief, Roman… Reignssss.”

Ronda Rousey speaks.

“Tonight, I’m gonna make my first match on SmackDown one to remember. Because Sonya Deville has been abusing her powers for far too long. And I’m going to remind her that SmackDown is more than just the name of the show.”

Sonya Deville responds.

“The only memorable thing about Ronda Rousey’s first match on SmackDown is going to be Ronda Rousey’s first ever loss on SmackDown. Because nothing can compete with the power of authority.”

The Viking Raiders speak.

Erik & Ivar say the Usos have been playing hide ‘n’ seek. But Vikings don’t play games. They RAID! And that’s not all. Tonight, they will shred and tear and claw their carcasses, and then rip the SmackDown Tag Team Championships from whatever’s left!

The Usos respond.

Jimmy & Jey say the Viking Raiders might just do all that to them tonight. What’re the chances of Erik & Ivar beating them for the titles tonight? ‘Bout the same as the Viking Raiders fitting into a pair o’ skinny jeans! Tell ’em why the Usos are gonna win! Because #WeTheOnes!

Ricochet speaks.

“People call Sami Zayn a lot of different names. Self-obsessed. Paranoid. Aggravating, infuriating. But they also call him talented, calculating, cruel vindictive. But the one thing after tonight they will not be calling Sami Zayn is Intercontinental Champion.”

Sami Zayn is backstage, polishing up his title.

“Look at that. Hey, I guess all that high-flying Ricochet has been doing has cut off the oxygen to his brain. Or maybe he just didn’t see what I did to Johnny Knoxville last week.” Sami is a man of many monikers, such as Champion of the People, the Nakamura Kneecapper, the Destroyer of Knoxville (no one has called him these things), but most importantly, Ricochet will find out why Sami is the Master Strategist. And after winning tonight, everyone will call Sami the GREATEST Intercontinental Champion in history! Sami makes his entrance, we open the night with the title bout!

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn VS Ricochet!

The Great Liberator put out the challenge as a “fighting champion,” and while he didn’t like that THE Johnny Knoxville answered, he still didn’t like that the One and Only stepped up in the aftermath. Will Sami prove to everyone that this isn’t a joke? Or will the King of Flight get some gold around his waist again?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and as Ricochet’s theme says, it’s about to go down!

Sami and Ricochet rush each other, Ricochet wheelbarrows to victory roll, TWO!! Sami escapes, Ricochet headlocks but Sami powers out! Ricochet rolls off Sami’s back then headscissors and dropkicks him down! Fans fire up with Ricochet as he runs in, but Sami puts him on the apron Ricochet lands, springboard sin but Sami gets under to come back and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Sami scowls but he throws crossface forearms to knock Ricochet down. Sami sits Ricochet up to throw down fists. Fans rally for Ricochet but Sami clamps on a chinlock. Ricochet fight sup, throws body shots, and then runs to tiger wall kick and ENZIGURI! Cover, TWO!!

Sami escapes again, he might be taking Ricochet too lightly. Sami gets to the apron, he shoulders into Ricochet away, but Ricochet SUPERKICKS Sami down! Ricochet goes out to join Sami, but Sami blocks the superkick! Sami hooks Ricochet up, APRON HALF ‘N’ HALF SUPLEX! Fans boo but Sami is delighted that he’s standing tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sami stomps away on Ricochet! Fans rally for Ricochet but Sami hops up the corner. Ricochet anchors Sami’s foot but Sami stomps him away. Sami talks trash but Ricochet NO HANDS RANAS! Cover, TWO!! Another close one! Ricochet goes to the apron and he aims as Sami slowly gets up. Ricochet shoulders into Sami now, then slingshots, but into a SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is furious but Ricochet is still in this! Sami scowls, kicks and stomps Ricochet around, then stomps and kicks Ricochet more! Sami drags Ricochet up but Ricochet blocks the lift and elbows away!

Sami staggers to a corner, Ricochet catches his breath and runs in, into a clinch! But Ricochet counters the Exploder to a victory roll! TWO, but Ricochet sweeps the leg, and STANDING MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! SUPERKICK!! Sami flops out to the apron and to the floor, but Ricochet builds speed! SASUKE SPECIAL! Direct hit and fans fire up! Ricochet gets up and HE’S fired up! Ricochet gets Sami in the ring, hurries to the corner, and Ricochet climbs up top. But Sami trips him up and shoves him down! Sami grins again as Ricochet hits the floor. Sami goes out, but here comes JOHNNY KNOXVILLE!

Fans fire up for Knoxville and his new shirt, “Sami Zayn: Intercontinental CHUMP!” Sami runs over, Knoxville gets away, and Sami turns around, BIG RANA!! Cover, Ricochet wins!!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall (NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion)

Knoxville tells Sami that’s what he gets! The King of Flight has the title and Sami has egg on his face! Will Sami look to get his revenge on Knoxville? Will Ricochet take this title all the way to WrestleMania?

 

SmackDown shares Vince McMahon appearing on the Pat McAfee Show.

Pat says Vince is an absolute legend, and has news to break about the WWE Hall of Fame. The Undertaker is going in, and Vince gets to induct him! Big cheers for that! Taker is a great person and an all time great wrestler, Vince is very honored. And Vince knows Pat loves pro-wrestling, he is a big part of this team, everyone loves him. So Vince is offering Pat a chance to wrestle at WrestleMania. That’s a big dream of Pat’s! Big right hand, WHAT! Big right foot, WHAT! Wait until the millions, AND MILLIONS, get to see Pat! But who is Pat McAfee getting to take on at the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever? Vince McMahon is in the building, he might say who tonight!

 

Sami Zayn is furious backstage.

He shouts, “It should’ve been me! That championship is mine!” he throws tables and chairs and whatever else around, then asks why the camera’s following him. Do they like following him when he’s humiliated, huh? When he’s down, huh? Just like Knoxville following him everywhere. Instagram, stalking him in the comments! Following him to SmackDown! But Sami has an idea! If Knoxville wants to follow Sami, follow him to Dallas and see him at WrestleMania! A new challenge has been issued, will Sami take out all this anger on

 

Austin Theory is here!

“For those who don’t know my name, my name is Austin Theory-” Fans know him, they’re booing. Theory is on Raw, and is the protégé of the Chairman, Mr. Vince McMahon! “And Mr. McMahon, he is here tonight, and wherever Mr. McMahon goes, Austin Theory goes.” So Pat, Theory has a question. Why was Vince on Pat’s show? To set him up! No one knows what Vince is thinking! He’s always a step ahead, or maybe even four or five in Pat’s case. Pat probably thinks Vince likes him, right? He does everything for a reason. Everything for the WWE! And Pat? Well Pat is a loud mouth and everyone wants to hear him shut up.

Pat isn’t sure that’s true at all, but Theory says that’s entertainment, right? “So what’re you gonna do when your mouth is wired shut and you can’t eat breakfast, lunch or dinner without sipping it through a straw?” Pat has no idea what Theory’s problem with him is, but he stands up as Theory walks over. Fans cheer Pat on and Theory says, “I’M your opponent at WrestleMania! And I’m gonna beat you to a pulp!” Theory then SLAPS the headset off Pat’s head! Theory is excited, Pat is confused, but Pat gets up on the desk! Pat tells Austin BITCH to get back here! Theory takes selfies, but will he be the one in for a surprise at WrestleMania?

 

Naomi w/ Sasha Banks VS Carmella w/ Zelina Vega!

It’s time to #FeelTheGlow as Team BAD is in Miami! But with the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions visiting, will they show Naomi & Sasha that they’re not ready to take them on at WrestleMania? Or will this just be a taste of what’s to come?

SmackDown returns and the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE and the Queen of the Ring make their entrance. The bell rings and Mella bails right out to get her protective mask. She didn’t quite color coordinate this one but she gets back to the ring. Naomi gets her for a ROUNDHOUSE! Naomi drags Mella in then pushes her to go up the corner. Zelina distracts, Mella trips and YANKS Naomi down! Zelina cheers but the fans boo and Mella drags Naomi up into a chinlock. Mello leans on the hold, but fans rally up and Naomi throws body shots. Naomi fireman’s carries to SPLIT LEG TKO! Fans fire up, Naomi shows slap and Mella covers up!

Naomi waits, Mella lets her guard down, BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO! Naomi brings Mella up but Mella denies the corner bulldog! Mella fires off on Naomi, but the ref counts and Mella lets off at 4. The ref spots Vega creeping up, Sasha yanks Vega down! METEORA into steps! Mella runs in, blocks a boot but not the ENIZGURI! Mella is down, Naomi goes up, SPLIT LEG MOONSAULT! Cover, Naomi wins!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall

The Boss celebrates with Naomi while Natalya watches backstage. Team BAD is going for the gold, but is the Queen of Harts waiting to play her cards?

 

Happy Corbin, Mad Cap Moss, and some buddies are playing poker.

Corbin gets everyone to calm down, they need to finish this game so they can watch Drew McIntyre’s match. Corbin is gonna scout McIntyre for WrestleMania Saturday, and that makes him so happy! And then after Mania, Corbin will have no losses. Just like Mad Cap has nothing in this hand! Corbin wins this round, and brags about what he’s done. In his debut, he won the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Then he defeated Kurt Angle! McIntyre will just be another feather in the fedora. Aces high, baby! Hottest win streak of his career, and he’ll stay hot until ol’ McIntyre is in a retirement home, telling stories about sea monsters.

Moss, give us an impression! “The other day, I thought I saw the Loch Ness Monster, but it turns out I just pooped in me bath tub.” The Happy Folks and their dork friends all laugh, but McIntyre is heading to the ring! Will there be anything to laugh about after they see him in action?

Drew McIntyre VS Jinder Mahal w/ Shanky!

SmackDown returns and while the Happy Folks are watching, the Modern Maharaja makes his entrance. The bell rings and these two tie up. They’re in a deadlock, McIntyre shoves Jinder, then blocks his boot! Jinder gets ropes, the ref counts, and McIntyre lets go. Jinder fires off haymakers, headlocks, but McIntyre powers out and follows to run Jinder over! Fans fire up, McIntyre CHOPS Jinder! And CHOPS again! Mahal ducks the next chop to throat chop and THRUST KICK! Cover, TWO! Jinder JAMS his knee into McIntyre, then gets a half nelson chinbar. McIntyre fights up, fans rally, but Jinder CLUBS McIntyre.

Jinder runs, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre seethes, runs in and clinches Jinder for another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then the NECKBREAKER! McIntyre kips up and fans fire up! Shanky distracts but gets POST! Mahal grabs McIntyre, but McIntyre pries the fingers apart! McIntyre GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS Jinder down! McIntyre counts it down, CLAYMORE! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Another Claymore kick on time, and now McIntyre has just a month left before he gets at Happy Corbin! Kayla Braxton congratulates McIntyre on the win and asks him if it bothers him that Moss & Corbin were having fun at his expense. “Yes, I’m gonna cry myself to sleep tonight over it. NO! I don’t give a damn what Mad Cap & Corbin think! Nobody does!” Those two have zero respect, no one likes them. McIntyre will prove it now. Miami, with a show of hands, who wants to poke their eyes out every time Corbin’s on their screens? EVERYONE lifts their hands. Even Kayla! It’s UNANIMOUS! McIntyre will do us all a favor.

Corbin, you’re back there, right? Have fun playing with yourself. You might be undefeated as Happy Corbin, but all good things must come to an end. At Mania, McIntyre takes you OUT!! McIntyre points to the Mania sign with his sword! Will Corbin feel the wrath of the Scottish Warrior?

Speaking of, we check back in with Corbin and his crew. Moss says, “What do you call the SmackDown Warrior, Drew McIntyre, when he chickens out of his WrestleMania match? The Backdown Warrior!” No one laughs at that joke. Will Corbin be anything but happy on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Nakamura & Boogs continue their Toyota TRD road trip.

Rick asks Shinsuke what he thinks about the hiking trial. It is very beautiful, very remote. Boogs has a checklist for hiking. Snacks, check. Boogs’ bag is getting full. Can Nakamura carry his snack? Sure. Boogs brought a SUBMARINE SANDWICH!? They continue on nonetheless. Great sights, great workout. Onward to the next destination!

 

Rick Boogs is here!

He gets the call ‘n’ response from the fans, introduces himself, and says he is here again to rock with Shinsukeee… NakamurrrrAAAAAA~! The King of Strong Style is here, too! Pat McAfee gets to rock out with them, but the USOS attack from behind!! Jimmy & Jey don’t care what was meant to happen, they’re the Bloodline! And they SUPERKICK Boogs down! Then they set up on stage, because here comes Roman Reigns! The pyro goes off, and the Bloodline heads to the ring. Then the belts are raised again for the second round of pyro. Heyman gets the mic while admiring Roman, and then he hands it over.

Miami is already chanting Roman’s name, and he smiles. “Miami… ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Miami is thunderous for their Tribal Chief! There are boos, but they die down quickly. Roman says tomorrow night, he and Brock Lesnar defend their titles at Madison Square Garden. And we already know what Roman will do: smash WHOEVER steps up, send them to the back of the line just like he has the past year and a half! But see, Lesnar’s defense is where it gets interesting. See, not all of us want to see Lesnar with the title. Not all of us want to see Lesnar make it to WrestleMania! Heyman says to hell with Lesnar, but Roman says they’re past that.

Roman says he WANTS Brock to make it to Mania so he can hand deliver the world title to his Tribal Chief! “Wiseman.” “Yes, my Tribal Chief?” What’s that line Heyman always says? “It’s not a prediction… It’s a spoiler!” Then give Miami and the world a spoiler! Heyman is glad to do that. Roman says he is Babe Ruth around here. He calls his shots, he delivers every single time! Just look at last year. Roman said he was gonna smash ’em, stack ’em and pin ’em, and what’d he do? So this year, he’ll call his shot again! “At WrestleMania, in the biggest main event of all time, I’m gonna SMASH Brock Lesnar. I’m gonna PIN Brock Lesnar. I’m gonna stand OVER Brock Lesnar!

“And with about $5 MILLION of fireworks going off, I’m gonna hold the WWE Championship, I’m gonna hold the Universal Championship, and I’m gonna raise them over my head. And Brock’s gonna have no choice but to ACKNOWLEDGE ME. ME! ME!! He’s gonna ACKNOWLEGE ME, ME, ME!!” Roman cools off a moment, and he says, “At WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar will… Acknowledge me.” There can only be one undisputed top champion in the WWE. Will Roman prove he IS that one?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Viking Raiders!

Roman has a match at MSG and another at WrestleMania, but this match is the one that was supposed to happen at Elimination Chamber in Saudi Arabia. Jimmy & Jey smashed ‘n’ stacked Erik & Ivar before a bell ever rang, but now they have to pin them! Will the Bloodline survive the raid? Or will this be the night Erik & Ivar add these titles to their war chest?

SmackDown returns and the Viking Raiders make their entrance. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if the Usos face the consequences of their ambushes!

Erik and Jimmy start, and Erik trips Jimmy right up for ground ‘n’ pound! Jimmy gets away but Jey rushes in, only to be thrown out to join him! Tag to Ivar, he CANNONBALLS onto them both! Ivar drags Jey up and in for Erik to SHOTGUN KNEE! Ivar throws Jimmy in, too, and Ivar climbs up! VIKING SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Jimmy survives but Ivar beats the war drum. Fans rally with him, pop up to Erik, but Jey saves Jimmy from a Viking Experience! Jey POSTS Ivar, Erik DECKS Jey! Jimmy waistlocks, Erik switches but Jey tags in before the O’Conner Roll. The Usos DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER Erik down!

Jey tags Jimmy back in, then the Usos get Erik up to smack off the apron. Fans rally and duel, Jimmy ROCKS Erik with a haymaker! Jimmy puts Erik in the ring, tags Jey back in, and they throw Erik back out. Jey ROCKS Erik with an uppercut, talks trash, “You’re not on our level, boy!” But Erik hits back! They brawl, the ring count is climbing, but Jey POSTS Erik! Erik is dazed, Jey gets in to tag Jimmy. Jimmy drags Erik up and the Usos double whip Erik over barriers and into the timekeeper’s area! The fans are torn, the Usos are standing tall, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Ivar blocks a kick, but Jimmy DRAGON WHIPS! Erik and Jey tag in, Ivar HEEL KICKS Jimmy! Erik ducks under Jey, pop-up and Erik catches Jey, SPRINGBOARD LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO! Cover, TWO!! Jey survives but Erik keeps focus. Erik drags Jey back up, dead lifts, but Jey slips out of the back suplex! Jimmy tags in, Jey dodges Erik to SUPERKICK Ivar! Erik DECKS Jey, Jimmy SUPERKICKS Erik! Jimmy hurries to a corner and up top! USO SPLASH onto knees! Erik roars, tags Ivar, and they get Jimmy up! Pop-up and THOR’S HAMMER!! Cover, Jey breaks it!

Fans fire up as all but Erik are down! Ivar crawls over, he reaches out, tag to Erik! Jey tags back in, but he’s fad to the same pop-up! but Jimmy trips Ivar on the springboard! Erik DECKS Jimmy, blocks and KNEES Jey! Jey SUPERKICKS right back! Erik is on ropes, but the ref holds Jey back! Jimmy SUPERKICKS behind the ref’s back! Jey rolls Erik up, TWO!! Erik has a cradle, TWO!?! Jey escapes but Jimmy tags in! Erik swings, misses, SUPERKICK! Pop-up, ONE D!! Cover, the Usos win!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (still SmackDown Tag Team Champions)

The Viking Raiders couldn’t keep up with the Usos, and the Bloodline stays golden! Will things stay that way as WrestleMania looms closer and closer?

 

The New Day cruises backstage.

Big E’s ATV brings him and Kofi Kingston around again, and they’re headed to the ring!

Big E w/ Kofi Kingston VS Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland!

The Fella and his protégé tried to belittle the birthday gift, but now it’s time for a Friday Night Fight! Will the Powerhouse of Positivity run over the Celtic Warrior on the Road to WrestleMania?

SmackDown returns and Sheamus makes his entrance, Ridge by his side. The ref tells Sheamus to put the club away. But Kofi taunts Sheamus with the ATV’s horn. “BEEP! BEEP BEEP!” Ridge gets a chair and he SMACKS Kofi! And then he beats the crap out of the ATV! Sheamus CHOP BLOCKS Big E then stomps away on him! Sheamus rains down fists, drops knees, then he and Ridge both go to the four-wheeler. Sheamus and Ridge commit Grand Theft ATV!! The New Day is down, will they get back up to chase after Sheamus & Ridge?

 

SmackDown shows what happened during the break.

Sheamus and Ridge use SLEDGE HAMMERS to bust up the ATV!! The gift Kofi got Big E is now in pieces! Will the Fella & his follower pay for this?

 

Backstage interview with Johnny Knoxville.

Kayla asks Knoxville about Sami blaming him for tonight’s loss and the WrestleMania challenge. What is his response? Knoxville says Sami is a sad, strange little man. The only reason Knoxville is here is to remind Sami who he really is: a chump. Knoxville says he has put himself through more insane situations than Sami can imagine. If Sami thinks Knoxville is scared to get in the ring with a lowdown dirty cheater like Sami, then he is sorely mistaken. Challenge accepted, see you at WrestleMania! “Sami Sucks! Sami Sucks!” Knoxville is ready to make Sami look like a jackass, but will Sami finally get his revenge?

 

Corbin & Moss are in a good mood again.

McIntyre is like a boring Sean Connery! But Moss sucks at darts. But then McIntyre throws his sword into the dartboard! Bull’s eye! Corbin has a target on his back, will McIntyre hit the mark just like he did tonight?

 

Ronda Rousey VS Sonya Deville!

It’s TIIIIIME! The Baddest Woman on the Planet may be aiming for the SmackDown Women’s Championship, but she’ll settle things with the power crazed “Cruella” Deville! Will Rowdy Ronda Rousey wreck shop in her first match on SmackDown? Or will Sonya have another trick up her sleeve tonight?

SmackDown returns and Sonya is talking with the ref about “calling it fair” for the one who signs his paychecks. Ronda makes her entrance and Miami goes wild! But wait, here comes Charlotte Flair! Sonya pretends to have no idea that The Queen would make her way out here, but it is an obvious distraction. The ref has them back up, the bell rings, and Sonya gets in Ronda’s face. Ronda SLAPS Sonya! Then BOOTS her! Sonya rebounds, Ronda dodges and she hits a LARIAT! Then an ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Charlotte distracts, Ronda is ready, but Soya CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg! Sonya rains down fists and gets Ronda to a corner.

Sonya lets off as the ref counts, then she fires off kick after kick. Charlotte gets on commentary, she says Ronda is a one trick pony, and Sonya talks trash. Sonya snapmares, but Ronda is right up, only for Sonya to throw her down by her hair. Sonya runs to SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Fans rally for Ronda but Sonya clamps on a chinlock. Ronda fights up as Charlotte says she’s not worried about WrestleMania. Sonya talks trash, Ronda endures and pries at the hold. Ronda fights up, but Sonya throws her by her hair again. Sonya kicks Ronda around, wraps on the chinlock again, and grinds Ronda down.

Ronda fights back up, fans rally again and Ronda fights free! Ronda has Sonya on the ropes and CHOKES her with the headscissors! The ref counts, Ronda lets off at 4. Ronda then KNEES Sonya back in, hurries after her, STEP-UP KNEE! And a BOOT! Ronda fires up then runs in to fire off fast hands! Sonya falls, Ronda shoves her, then blocks a punch to throw Sonya with drop sayanagi after drop sayanagi! Fireman’s carry, PIPER’S PIT!! Ronda says, “Who wants a souvenir tonight?!” ARMBAR!! Sonya taps, Ronda wins!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, by pinfall

The souvenir is a free arm! Charlotte isn’t impressed, though. Ronda gets her first win on SmackDown, but will she get an even better win at WrestleMania? Charlotte sees Ronda daring her to get in, so Charlotte stands up from her seat. Ronda wants some right now, huh? Charlotte steps closer, then goes up the steps. Fans fire up as Charlotte gets on the apron, step sin the ropes, but then Ronda gets her for a takedown! ANKLE LOCK!! And Charlotte is tapping out! So much for a one trick pony! Ronda makes Charlotte tap again and again, then gets the toes! Ronda lets Charlotte go, but will she take that title off Charlotte soon enough?


My Thoughts:

A good episode of SmackDown, but so much of this felt like a go-home even though we have a month left. We got quite a bit of recap videos that I skipped, and then just filler stuff. Sheamus & Ridge ditch having the match with Big E so that they could trash the ATV. Probably not for a toy deal like when McIntyre smashed Jinder’s motorcycle, though. We’ll get a tag match out of this, that might actually be good stuff. And speaking of McIntyre and Jinder, McIntyre of course beats Jinder to build himself up towards facing Corbin. Corbin and Moss were a poor man’s APA with that poker game, but I did like McIntyre “throwing” his sword at the dartboard.

We got a lot of promos to open the show, which was interesting. It amounted to little, but it was a good segue into the Intercontinental Championship. Sami VS Ricochet was great stuff, and sure, Knoxville was part of why Sami lost, but how great for Ricochet to get this title. Sami VS Knoxville is finally made official, and Ricochet is open to take on anyone. The SmackDown Tag Team title match was great stuff, but I figured the Usos weren’t going to lose. If anything, them attacking Boogs & Nakamura before Nakamura could have a match was probably a nod to who is next for the Usos. It seems the partnership is continuing, so they might as well get a title shot while they’re at it.

As usual, we got a women’s match that was far too short. This is to build up the Women’s Tag title match, and yet Vince still doesn’t give a damn. Sasha and Vega are of course going to face off next time, it’ll probably also be disappointingly short. Hopefully because it’ll be at WrestleMania, the title match will be some great stuff. We’ve seen each of these four put on good matches before, they need to be allowed to put on a good one now. Natalya watching was curious, though. Is she thinking of recruiting someone to join her and they try to get in on this? Personally, hoping for Queen of Harts and Queen of Spades, Shayna Baszler, becoming a team.

We got a nice snippet from The Pat McAfee Show just yesterday, and as everyone guessed, it set up a match for Pat and Austin Theory. Theory riled Pat up and Pat’s response was great stuff, they’re going to have a good match. Roman had a good promo, and of course he plugs the Madison Square Garden show. That event won’t be on The Peacock, because duh the WWE wants people to go to the show and buy those pricey MSG tickets. Raw will surely have the info of, duh, both top champions retaining and “The Biggest Match in Mania History” still being on track.

And then of course Ronda won against Sonya tonight, but it was very clever for them to have Charlotte act like Ronda only has the armbar to surprise us with Ronda having another great submission hold in her arsenal. That alone adds a new layer to their match, and that match can definitely go either way because of it.

My Score: 8.1/10


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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

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No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (4/18/24)

Time to Man Up!

Published

on

Will the Ivy League MVP earn a title shot?

The NEW ROH World Champion, Mark Briscoe, is here to step onto the Proving Ground with one of Maria Kanellis’ baby boys, Griff Garrison! Will Griff make Maria proud? Or will he reach for the sky?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo; wins.
  • The Infantry VS The Iron Savages w/Jacked Jameson; win(s).
  • The Dark Order VS ???
  • Six Woman Tag: Diamante, Leila Grey & Taya Valkyrie VS Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora; win.
  • Lady Frost VS Marti Belle; wins.
  • Beast Mortos VS Nick Comoroto; wins.
  • Abadon VS Allysin Kay; wins.
  • ROH World Championship Proving Ground Match: Mark Briscoe VS Griff Garrison w/ Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis; wins and
  • Lee Johnson VS JD Drake; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will begin later tonight]


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