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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/4/22)

Ronda shall layeth the smack down!

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SmackDown 2022

It’s a golden, grudge filled Friday Night SmackDown!

The Usos defend their tag titles against the Viking Raiders, Sami Zayn defends his Intercontinental Championship against Ricochet, and Ronda Rousey’s after Sonya Deville’s hide!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn VS Ricochet; Ricochet wins and becomes the new WWE Intercontinental Champion.
  • Naomi w/ Sasha Banks VS Carmella w/ Zelina Vega; Naomi wins.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Jinder Mahal w/ Shanky; McIntyre wins.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura w/ Rick Boogs VS ???; No Contest.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Viking Raiders; The Usos win and retain the titles.
  • Big E w/ Kofi Kingston VS Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland; No Contest.
  • Ronda Rousey VS Sonya Deville; Rousey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Paul Heyman opens the show.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I swerve as Special Counsel to the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion and THE WrestleMania Main Event. Tonight, SmackDown is blessed not only with his presence, but with your opportunity to acknowledge the Tribal Chief, Roman… Reignssss.”

Ronda Rousey speaks.

“Tonight, I’m gonna make my first match on SmackDown one to remember. Because Sonya Deville has been abusing her powers for far too long. And I’m going to remind her that SmackDown is more than just the name of the show.”

Sonya Deville responds.

“The only memorable thing about Ronda Rousey’s first match on SmackDown is going to be Ronda Rousey’s first ever loss on SmackDown. Because nothing can compete with the power of authority.”

The Viking Raiders speak.

Erik & Ivar say the Usos have been playing hide ‘n’ seek. But Vikings don’t play games. They RAID! And that’s not all. Tonight, they will shred and tear and claw their carcasses, and then rip the SmackDown Tag Team Championships from whatever’s left!

The Usos respond.

Jimmy & Jey say the Viking Raiders might just do all that to them tonight. What’re the chances of Erik & Ivar beating them for the titles tonight? ‘Bout the same as the Viking Raiders fitting into a pair o’ skinny jeans! Tell ’em why the Usos are gonna win! Because #WeTheOnes!

Ricochet speaks.

“People call Sami Zayn a lot of different names. Self-obsessed. Paranoid. Aggravating, infuriating. But they also call him talented, calculating, cruel vindictive. But the one thing after tonight they will not be calling Sami Zayn is Intercontinental Champion.”

Sami Zayn is backstage, polishing up his title.

“Look at that. Hey, I guess all that high-flying Ricochet has been doing has cut off the oxygen to his brain. Or maybe he just didn’t see what I did to Johnny Knoxville last week.” Sami is a man of many monikers, such as Champion of the People, the Nakamura Kneecapper, the Destroyer of Knoxville (no one has called him these things), but most importantly, Ricochet will find out why Sami is the Master Strategist. And after winning tonight, everyone will call Sami the GREATEST Intercontinental Champion in history! Sami makes his entrance, we open the night with the title bout!

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn VS Ricochet!

The Great Liberator put out the challenge as a “fighting champion,” and while he didn’t like that THE Johnny Knoxville answered, he still didn’t like that the One and Only stepped up in the aftermath. Will Sami prove to everyone that this isn’t a joke? Or will the King of Flight get some gold around his waist again?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and as Ricochet’s theme says, it’s about to go down!

Sami and Ricochet rush each other, Ricochet wheelbarrows to victory roll, TWO!! Sami escapes, Ricochet headlocks but Sami powers out! Ricochet rolls off Sami’s back then headscissors and dropkicks him down! Fans fire up with Ricochet as he runs in, but Sami puts him on the apron Ricochet lands, springboard sin but Sami gets under to come back and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Sami scowls but he throws crossface forearms to knock Ricochet down. Sami sits Ricochet up to throw down fists. Fans rally for Ricochet but Sami clamps on a chinlock. Ricochet fight sup, throws body shots, and then runs to tiger wall kick and ENZIGURI! Cover, TWO!!

Sami escapes again, he might be taking Ricochet too lightly. Sami gets to the apron, he shoulders into Ricochet away, but Ricochet SUPERKICKS Sami down! Ricochet goes out to join Sami, but Sami blocks the superkick! Sami hooks Ricochet up, APRON HALF ‘N’ HALF SUPLEX! Fans boo but Sami is delighted that he’s standing tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sami stomps away on Ricochet! Fans rally for Ricochet but Sami hops up the corner. Ricochet anchors Sami’s foot but Sami stomps him away. Sami talks trash but Ricochet NO HANDS RANAS! Cover, TWO!! Another close one! Ricochet goes to the apron and he aims as Sami slowly gets up. Ricochet shoulders into Sami now, then slingshots, but into a SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is furious but Ricochet is still in this! Sami scowls, kicks and stomps Ricochet around, then stomps and kicks Ricochet more! Sami drags Ricochet up but Ricochet blocks the lift and elbows away!

Sami staggers to a corner, Ricochet catches his breath and runs in, into a clinch! But Ricochet counters the Exploder to a victory roll! TWO, but Ricochet sweeps the leg, and STANDING MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! SUPERKICK!! Sami flops out to the apron and to the floor, but Ricochet builds speed! SASUKE SPECIAL! Direct hit and fans fire up! Ricochet gets up and HE’S fired up! Ricochet gets Sami in the ring, hurries to the corner, and Ricochet climbs up top. But Sami trips him up and shoves him down! Sami grins again as Ricochet hits the floor. Sami goes out, but here comes JOHNNY KNOXVILLE!

Fans fire up for Knoxville and his new shirt, “Sami Zayn: Intercontinental CHUMP!” Sami runs over, Knoxville gets away, and Sami turns around, BIG RANA!! Cover, Ricochet wins!!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall (NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion)

Knoxville tells Sami that’s what he gets! The King of Flight has the title and Sami has egg on his face! Will Sami look to get his revenge on Knoxville? Will Ricochet take this title all the way to WrestleMania?

 

SmackDown shares Vince McMahon appearing on the Pat McAfee Show.

Pat says Vince is an absolute legend, and has news to break about the WWE Hall of Fame. The Undertaker is going in, and Vince gets to induct him! Big cheers for that! Taker is a great person and an all time great wrestler, Vince is very honored. And Vince knows Pat loves pro-wrestling, he is a big part of this team, everyone loves him. So Vince is offering Pat a chance to wrestle at WrestleMania. That’s a big dream of Pat’s! Big right hand, WHAT! Big right foot, WHAT! Wait until the millions, AND MILLIONS, get to see Pat! But who is Pat McAfee getting to take on at the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever? Vince McMahon is in the building, he might say who tonight!

 

Sami Zayn is furious backstage.

He shouts, “It should’ve been me! That championship is mine!” he throws tables and chairs and whatever else around, then asks why the camera’s following him. Do they like following him when he’s humiliated, huh? When he’s down, huh? Just like Knoxville following him everywhere. Instagram, stalking him in the comments! Following him to SmackDown! But Sami has an idea! If Knoxville wants to follow Sami, follow him to Dallas and see him at WrestleMania! A new challenge has been issued, will Sami take out all this anger on

 

Austin Theory is here!

“For those who don’t know my name, my name is Austin Theory-” Fans know him, they’re booing. Theory is on Raw, and is the protégé of the Chairman, Mr. Vince McMahon! “And Mr. McMahon, he is here tonight, and wherever Mr. McMahon goes, Austin Theory goes.” So Pat, Theory has a question. Why was Vince on Pat’s show? To set him up! No one knows what Vince is thinking! He’s always a step ahead, or maybe even four or five in Pat’s case. Pat probably thinks Vince likes him, right? He does everything for a reason. Everything for the WWE! And Pat? Well Pat is a loud mouth and everyone wants to hear him shut up.

Pat isn’t sure that’s true at all, but Theory says that’s entertainment, right? “So what’re you gonna do when your mouth is wired shut and you can’t eat breakfast, lunch or dinner without sipping it through a straw?” Pat has no idea what Theory’s problem with him is, but he stands up as Theory walks over. Fans cheer Pat on and Theory says, “I’M your opponent at WrestleMania! And I’m gonna beat you to a pulp!” Theory then SLAPS the headset off Pat’s head! Theory is excited, Pat is confused, but Pat gets up on the desk! Pat tells Austin BITCH to get back here! Theory takes selfies, but will he be the one in for a surprise at WrestleMania?

 

Naomi w/ Sasha Banks VS Carmella w/ Zelina Vega!

It’s time to #FeelTheGlow as Team BAD is in Miami! But with the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions visiting, will they show Naomi & Sasha that they’re not ready to take them on at WrestleMania? Or will this just be a taste of what’s to come?

SmackDown returns and the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE and the Queen of the Ring make their entrance. The bell rings and Mella bails right out to get her protective mask. She didn’t quite color coordinate this one but she gets back to the ring. Naomi gets her for a ROUNDHOUSE! Naomi drags Mella in then pushes her to go up the corner. Zelina distracts, Mella trips and YANKS Naomi down! Zelina cheers but the fans boo and Mella drags Naomi up into a chinlock. Mello leans on the hold, but fans rally up and Naomi throws body shots. Naomi fireman’s carries to SPLIT LEG TKO! Fans fire up, Naomi shows slap and Mella covers up!

Naomi waits, Mella lets her guard down, BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO! Naomi brings Mella up but Mella denies the corner bulldog! Mella fires off on Naomi, but the ref counts and Mella lets off at 4. The ref spots Vega creeping up, Sasha yanks Vega down! METEORA into steps! Mella runs in, blocks a boot but not the ENIZGURI! Mella is down, Naomi goes up, SPLIT LEG MOONSAULT! Cover, Naomi wins!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall

The Boss celebrates with Naomi while Natalya watches backstage. Team BAD is going for the gold, but is the Queen of Harts waiting to play her cards?

 

Happy Corbin, Mad Cap Moss, and some buddies are playing poker.

Corbin gets everyone to calm down, they need to finish this game so they can watch Drew McIntyre’s match. Corbin is gonna scout McIntyre for WrestleMania Saturday, and that makes him so happy! And then after Mania, Corbin will have no losses. Just like Mad Cap has nothing in this hand! Corbin wins this round, and brags about what he’s done. In his debut, he won the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Then he defeated Kurt Angle! McIntyre will just be another feather in the fedora. Aces high, baby! Hottest win streak of his career, and he’ll stay hot until ol’ McIntyre is in a retirement home, telling stories about sea monsters.

Moss, give us an impression! “The other day, I thought I saw the Loch Ness Monster, but it turns out I just pooped in me bath tub.” The Happy Folks and their dork friends all laugh, but McIntyre is heading to the ring! Will there be anything to laugh about after they see him in action?

Drew McIntyre VS Jinder Mahal w/ Shanky!

SmackDown returns and while the Happy Folks are watching, the Modern Maharaja makes his entrance. The bell rings and these two tie up. They’re in a deadlock, McIntyre shoves Jinder, then blocks his boot! Jinder gets ropes, the ref counts, and McIntyre lets go. Jinder fires off haymakers, headlocks, but McIntyre powers out and follows to run Jinder over! Fans fire up, McIntyre CHOPS Jinder! And CHOPS again! Mahal ducks the next chop to throat chop and THRUST KICK! Cover, TWO! Jinder JAMS his knee into McIntyre, then gets a half nelson chinbar. McIntyre fights up, fans rally, but Jinder CLUBS McIntyre.

Jinder runs, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre seethes, runs in and clinches Jinder for another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then the NECKBREAKER! McIntyre kips up and fans fire up! Shanky distracts but gets POST! Mahal grabs McIntyre, but McIntyre pries the fingers apart! McIntyre GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS Jinder down! McIntyre counts it down, CLAYMORE! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Another Claymore kick on time, and now McIntyre has just a month left before he gets at Happy Corbin! Kayla Braxton congratulates McIntyre on the win and asks him if it bothers him that Moss & Corbin were having fun at his expense. “Yes, I’m gonna cry myself to sleep tonight over it. NO! I don’t give a damn what Mad Cap & Corbin think! Nobody does!” Those two have zero respect, no one likes them. McIntyre will prove it now. Miami, with a show of hands, who wants to poke their eyes out every time Corbin’s on their screens? EVERYONE lifts their hands. Even Kayla! It’s UNANIMOUS! McIntyre will do us all a favor.

Corbin, you’re back there, right? Have fun playing with yourself. You might be undefeated as Happy Corbin, but all good things must come to an end. At Mania, McIntyre takes you OUT!! McIntyre points to the Mania sign with his sword! Will Corbin feel the wrath of the Scottish Warrior?

Speaking of, we check back in with Corbin and his crew. Moss says, “What do you call the SmackDown Warrior, Drew McIntyre, when he chickens out of his WrestleMania match? The Backdown Warrior!” No one laughs at that joke. Will Corbin be anything but happy on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Nakamura & Boogs continue their Toyota TRD road trip.

Rick asks Shinsuke what he thinks about the hiking trial. It is very beautiful, very remote. Boogs has a checklist for hiking. Snacks, check. Boogs’ bag is getting full. Can Nakamura carry his snack? Sure. Boogs brought a SUBMARINE SANDWICH!? They continue on nonetheless. Great sights, great workout. Onward to the next destination!

 

Rick Boogs is here!

He gets the call ‘n’ response from the fans, introduces himself, and says he is here again to rock with Shinsukeee… NakamurrrrAAAAAA~! The King of Strong Style is here, too! Pat McAfee gets to rock out with them, but the USOS attack from behind!! Jimmy & Jey don’t care what was meant to happen, they’re the Bloodline! And they SUPERKICK Boogs down! Then they set up on stage, because here comes Roman Reigns! The pyro goes off, and the Bloodline heads to the ring. Then the belts are raised again for the second round of pyro. Heyman gets the mic while admiring Roman, and then he hands it over.

Miami is already chanting Roman’s name, and he smiles. “Miami… ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Miami is thunderous for their Tribal Chief! There are boos, but they die down quickly. Roman says tomorrow night, he and Brock Lesnar defend their titles at Madison Square Garden. And we already know what Roman will do: smash WHOEVER steps up, send them to the back of the line just like he has the past year and a half! But see, Lesnar’s defense is where it gets interesting. See, not all of us want to see Lesnar with the title. Not all of us want to see Lesnar make it to WrestleMania! Heyman says to hell with Lesnar, but Roman says they’re past that.

Roman says he WANTS Brock to make it to Mania so he can hand deliver the world title to his Tribal Chief! “Wiseman.” “Yes, my Tribal Chief?” What’s that line Heyman always says? “It’s not a prediction… It’s a spoiler!” Then give Miami and the world a spoiler! Heyman is glad to do that. Roman says he is Babe Ruth around here. He calls his shots, he delivers every single time! Just look at last year. Roman said he was gonna smash ’em, stack ’em and pin ’em, and what’d he do? So this year, he’ll call his shot again! “At WrestleMania, in the biggest main event of all time, I’m gonna SMASH Brock Lesnar. I’m gonna PIN Brock Lesnar. I’m gonna stand OVER Brock Lesnar!

“And with about $5 MILLION of fireworks going off, I’m gonna hold the WWE Championship, I’m gonna hold the Universal Championship, and I’m gonna raise them over my head. And Brock’s gonna have no choice but to ACKNOWLEDGE ME. ME! ME!! He’s gonna ACKNOWLEGE ME, ME, ME!!” Roman cools off a moment, and he says, “At WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar will… Acknowledge me.” There can only be one undisputed top champion in the WWE. Will Roman prove he IS that one?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Viking Raiders!

Roman has a match at MSG and another at WrestleMania, but this match is the one that was supposed to happen at Elimination Chamber in Saudi Arabia. Jimmy & Jey smashed ‘n’ stacked Erik & Ivar before a bell ever rang, but now they have to pin them! Will the Bloodline survive the raid? Or will this be the night Erik & Ivar add these titles to their war chest?

SmackDown returns and the Viking Raiders make their entrance. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if the Usos face the consequences of their ambushes!

Erik and Jimmy start, and Erik trips Jimmy right up for ground ‘n’ pound! Jimmy gets away but Jey rushes in, only to be thrown out to join him! Tag to Ivar, he CANNONBALLS onto them both! Ivar drags Jey up and in for Erik to SHOTGUN KNEE! Ivar throws Jimmy in, too, and Ivar climbs up! VIKING SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Jimmy survives but Ivar beats the war drum. Fans rally with him, pop up to Erik, but Jey saves Jimmy from a Viking Experience! Jey POSTS Ivar, Erik DECKS Jey! Jimmy waistlocks, Erik switches but Jey tags in before the O’Conner Roll. The Usos DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER Erik down!

Jey tags Jimmy back in, then the Usos get Erik up to smack off the apron. Fans rally and duel, Jimmy ROCKS Erik with a haymaker! Jimmy puts Erik in the ring, tags Jey back in, and they throw Erik back out. Jey ROCKS Erik with an uppercut, talks trash, “You’re not on our level, boy!” But Erik hits back! They brawl, the ring count is climbing, but Jey POSTS Erik! Erik is dazed, Jey gets in to tag Jimmy. Jimmy drags Erik up and the Usos double whip Erik over barriers and into the timekeeper’s area! The fans are torn, the Usos are standing tall, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Ivar blocks a kick, but Jimmy DRAGON WHIPS! Erik and Jey tag in, Ivar HEEL KICKS Jimmy! Erik ducks under Jey, pop-up and Erik catches Jey, SPRINGBOARD LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO! Cover, TWO!! Jey survives but Erik keeps focus. Erik drags Jey back up, dead lifts, but Jey slips out of the back suplex! Jimmy tags in, Jey dodges Erik to SUPERKICK Ivar! Erik DECKS Jey, Jimmy SUPERKICKS Erik! Jimmy hurries to a corner and up top! USO SPLASH onto knees! Erik roars, tags Ivar, and they get Jimmy up! Pop-up and THOR’S HAMMER!! Cover, Jey breaks it!

Fans fire up as all but Erik are down! Ivar crawls over, he reaches out, tag to Erik! Jey tags back in, but he’s fad to the same pop-up! but Jimmy trips Ivar on the springboard! Erik DECKS Jimmy, blocks and KNEES Jey! Jey SUPERKICKS right back! Erik is on ropes, but the ref holds Jey back! Jimmy SUPERKICKS behind the ref’s back! Jey rolls Erik up, TWO!! Erik has a cradle, TWO!?! Jey escapes but Jimmy tags in! Erik swings, misses, SUPERKICK! Pop-up, ONE D!! Cover, the Usos win!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (still SmackDown Tag Team Champions)

The Viking Raiders couldn’t keep up with the Usos, and the Bloodline stays golden! Will things stay that way as WrestleMania looms closer and closer?

 

The New Day cruises backstage.

Big E’s ATV brings him and Kofi Kingston around again, and they’re headed to the ring!

Big E w/ Kofi Kingston VS Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland!

The Fella and his protégé tried to belittle the birthday gift, but now it’s time for a Friday Night Fight! Will the Powerhouse of Positivity run over the Celtic Warrior on the Road to WrestleMania?

SmackDown returns and Sheamus makes his entrance, Ridge by his side. The ref tells Sheamus to put the club away. But Kofi taunts Sheamus with the ATV’s horn. “BEEP! BEEP BEEP!” Ridge gets a chair and he SMACKS Kofi! And then he beats the crap out of the ATV! Sheamus CHOP BLOCKS Big E then stomps away on him! Sheamus rains down fists, drops knees, then he and Ridge both go to the four-wheeler. Sheamus and Ridge commit Grand Theft ATV!! The New Day is down, will they get back up to chase after Sheamus & Ridge?

 

SmackDown shows what happened during the break.

Sheamus and Ridge use SLEDGE HAMMERS to bust up the ATV!! The gift Kofi got Big E is now in pieces! Will the Fella & his follower pay for this?

 

Backstage interview with Johnny Knoxville.

Kayla asks Knoxville about Sami blaming him for tonight’s loss and the WrestleMania challenge. What is his response? Knoxville says Sami is a sad, strange little man. The only reason Knoxville is here is to remind Sami who he really is: a chump. Knoxville says he has put himself through more insane situations than Sami can imagine. If Sami thinks Knoxville is scared to get in the ring with a lowdown dirty cheater like Sami, then he is sorely mistaken. Challenge accepted, see you at WrestleMania! “Sami Sucks! Sami Sucks!” Knoxville is ready to make Sami look like a jackass, but will Sami finally get his revenge?

 

Corbin & Moss are in a good mood again.

McIntyre is like a boring Sean Connery! But Moss sucks at darts. But then McIntyre throws his sword into the dartboard! Bull’s eye! Corbin has a target on his back, will McIntyre hit the mark just like he did tonight?

 

Ronda Rousey VS Sonya Deville!

It’s TIIIIIME! The Baddest Woman on the Planet may be aiming for the SmackDown Women’s Championship, but she’ll settle things with the power crazed “Cruella” Deville! Will Rowdy Ronda Rousey wreck shop in her first match on SmackDown? Or will Sonya have another trick up her sleeve tonight?

SmackDown returns and Sonya is talking with the ref about “calling it fair” for the one who signs his paychecks. Ronda makes her entrance and Miami goes wild! But wait, here comes Charlotte Flair! Sonya pretends to have no idea that The Queen would make her way out here, but it is an obvious distraction. The ref has them back up, the bell rings, and Sonya gets in Ronda’s face. Ronda SLAPS Sonya! Then BOOTS her! Sonya rebounds, Ronda dodges and she hits a LARIAT! Then an ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Charlotte distracts, Ronda is ready, but Soya CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg! Sonya rains down fists and gets Ronda to a corner.

Sonya lets off as the ref counts, then she fires off kick after kick. Charlotte gets on commentary, she says Ronda is a one trick pony, and Sonya talks trash. Sonya snapmares, but Ronda is right up, only for Sonya to throw her down by her hair. Sonya runs to SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Fans rally for Ronda but Sonya clamps on a chinlock. Ronda fights up as Charlotte says she’s not worried about WrestleMania. Sonya talks trash, Ronda endures and pries at the hold. Ronda fights up, but Sonya throws her by her hair again. Sonya kicks Ronda around, wraps on the chinlock again, and grinds Ronda down.

Ronda fights back up, fans rally again and Ronda fights free! Ronda has Sonya on the ropes and CHOKES her with the headscissors! The ref counts, Ronda lets off at 4. Ronda then KNEES Sonya back in, hurries after her, STEP-UP KNEE! And a BOOT! Ronda fires up then runs in to fire off fast hands! Sonya falls, Ronda shoves her, then blocks a punch to throw Sonya with drop sayanagi after drop sayanagi! Fireman’s carry, PIPER’S PIT!! Ronda says, “Who wants a souvenir tonight?!” ARMBAR!! Sonya taps, Ronda wins!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, by pinfall

The souvenir is a free arm! Charlotte isn’t impressed, though. Ronda gets her first win on SmackDown, but will she get an even better win at WrestleMania? Charlotte sees Ronda daring her to get in, so Charlotte stands up from her seat. Ronda wants some right now, huh? Charlotte steps closer, then goes up the steps. Fans fire up as Charlotte gets on the apron, step sin the ropes, but then Ronda gets her for a takedown! ANKLE LOCK!! And Charlotte is tapping out! So much for a one trick pony! Ronda makes Charlotte tap again and again, then gets the toes! Ronda lets Charlotte go, but will she take that title off Charlotte soon enough?


My Thoughts:

A good episode of SmackDown, but so much of this felt like a go-home even though we have a month left. We got quite a bit of recap videos that I skipped, and then just filler stuff. Sheamus & Ridge ditch having the match with Big E so that they could trash the ATV. Probably not for a toy deal like when McIntyre smashed Jinder’s motorcycle, though. We’ll get a tag match out of this, that might actually be good stuff. And speaking of McIntyre and Jinder, McIntyre of course beats Jinder to build himself up towards facing Corbin. Corbin and Moss were a poor man’s APA with that poker game, but I did like McIntyre “throwing” his sword at the dartboard.

We got a lot of promos to open the show, which was interesting. It amounted to little, but it was a good segue into the Intercontinental Championship. Sami VS Ricochet was great stuff, and sure, Knoxville was part of why Sami lost, but how great for Ricochet to get this title. Sami VS Knoxville is finally made official, and Ricochet is open to take on anyone. The SmackDown Tag Team title match was great stuff, but I figured the Usos weren’t going to lose. If anything, them attacking Boogs & Nakamura before Nakamura could have a match was probably a nod to who is next for the Usos. It seems the partnership is continuing, so they might as well get a title shot while they’re at it.

As usual, we got a women’s match that was far too short. This is to build up the Women’s Tag title match, and yet Vince still doesn’t give a damn. Sasha and Vega are of course going to face off next time, it’ll probably also be disappointingly short. Hopefully because it’ll be at WrestleMania, the title match will be some great stuff. We’ve seen each of these four put on good matches before, they need to be allowed to put on a good one now. Natalya watching was curious, though. Is she thinking of recruiting someone to join her and they try to get in on this? Personally, hoping for Queen of Harts and Queen of Spades, Shayna Baszler, becoming a team.

We got a nice snippet from The Pat McAfee Show just yesterday, and as everyone guessed, it set up a match for Pat and Austin Theory. Theory riled Pat up and Pat’s response was great stuff, they’re going to have a good match. Roman had a good promo, and of course he plugs the Madison Square Garden show. That event won’t be on The Peacock, because duh the WWE wants people to go to the show and buy those pricey MSG tickets. Raw will surely have the info of, duh, both top champions retaining and “The Biggest Match in Mania History” still being on track.

And then of course Ronda won against Sonya tonight, but it was very clever for them to have Charlotte act like Ronda only has the armbar to surprise us with Ronda having another great submission hold in her arsenal. That alone adds a new layer to their match, and that match can definitely go either way because of it.

My Score: 8.1/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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on

Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

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Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

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AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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