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Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (5/12/22)

THE 200TH EPISODE!

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Someone is leaving NXT UK!

The Empty Arena match proved nothing to Jordan Devlin, and he wants another shot! But will the Irish Ace be saying good-bye to NXT UK on episode 200?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • NXT UK Tag Team Championships Match Qualifier: The Coffey Brothers VS Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter; Smith & Carter win and join the NXT UK Tag Team Championship Triple Threat.
  • Ivy Nile VS Nina Samuels; Nile wins.
  • NXT UK Championship, Loser Leaves NXT UK: Ilja Dragunov VS Jordan Devlin; Dragunov wins and retains the title, Devlin must leave NXT UK.

PLAY BY PLAY

NXT UK Tag Team Championships Match Qualifier: The Coffey Brothers VS Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter!

Joe & Mark are ready to represent Gallus both tonight and in the NXT UK Tag Team Championship Triple Threat, but they have to prove they’re still on the same page. Will the brothers Coffey be on top? Or will the hottest tag team under the sun earn one last shot at Moustache Mountain?

The teams sort out and Carter starts against Mark. They circle, tie up, and go around. Mark puts Carter in the corner and tags Joe. The brothers mug Carter, Joe wrenches and wrangles Carter while fans rally. Carter kips up but Joe wrenches again. Tag to Mark, they double wrench, toss and CHOP Carter! Mark wrenches, wristlocks but Carter rolls and kips up, only for Mark to wrangle him back down. Carter gets up, Mark wrenches, wristlocks but Carter rolls and kicks Mark away! Carter gets a headlock, but Mark powers out to hip toss, only for Carter to make that a headscissor! Tiger wall kick in the corner, and Carter mocks the Gallus stance.

Mark rushes in but into an arm-drag! Carter grinds the arm, wrenches and CLUBS it, then tags Smith. Smith leap frogs to hip drop the arm! Smith wrenches, fireman’s carries and SLAMS Mark down. Smith has the arm hooked for a SNAP LOCK! Tag to Carter, they wrench and whip Mark, to then dropkick Mark down! Fans fire up and Carter covers, TWO! Carter keeps on Mark with an armlock, wrench and a CLUB to the shoulder. Mark endures as Carter wrenches again. Mark waistlocks, Carter bucks him away but runs into a back elbow! Mark gets Carter up to tag Joe and the Coffeys double suplex, but Smith makes the save!

DOUBLE DROPKICKS take the Coffey Brothers out! Fans fire up for Smith & Carter while Gallus regroups. Mark says they don’t stop, so Joe gets back in the ring. Smith tags in to circle with the Iron King. They tie up, Joe wrenches and ROCKS Smith but Smith hits back! Joe fires heavy body shots, but Smith reverses the whip, only for Joe to FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE! Joe BOOTS Smith, then clinches for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Joe fires up and fans rally, too. Joe runs corner to corner to SPLASH Smith! Joe whips Smith out then back in, to then scoop and BACKBREAKER! Joe hobbles on his leg but says he’s good.

Joe shakes out the bad leg, brings Smith up, fans duel and Smith whips Joe. Joe reverses, things speed up. Joe hurdles but his bad leg slows him down! Smith CLOBBERS Joe! Cover, TWO! Smith gets Joe up to tag Carter. Smith wrenches the arm, then helps Carter slingshot in for a SHOULDER TACKLE! Cover, ONE! Joe has grit but Carter is after him. Joe blocks punches to give punches, but that bad leg is still a bother. Joe throws hands but Carter sweeps the leg! Carter goes after that bad leg with KICKS! Tag to Smith, Carter gives one more kick, then Smith talks Joe. Smith gets the leg to YANK it, and wants the ref to check.

Joe refuses to quit, but Smith YANKS the bad leg again. Joe hobbles but falls over, but then he suckers Smith into a cradle! TWO, and Smith trips Joe up to drop an elbow on the knee! Joe endures as Smith has a standing leglock and toehold! Joe keeps his shoulders up and pulls at Smith’s own leg. Smith CRANKS the toehold, covers, TWO! Joe is still in this and he throws more body shots! Smith EuroUppers but into hooks! Smith holds off the backslide, but not forever! TWO, Joe hobbles again, and Smith BOOTS him down! Smith also DECKS Mark, and tags Carter! They coordinate, alley-oop 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!

Joe is still in this, but Carter keeps moving, PENALTY KCIK! Then they coordinate, SILLY STRING SPLASH onto knees! Carter gasps and sputters, he and Joe craw, but Smith tags in to cut Joe off from Mark! Smith pushes Joe back but Joe powers up! Joe can’t keep it going with the bad leg and Smith grinds the facelock. Joe tries again but Smith sunset flips! Joe rolls through, goes for Smith’s legs but Smith BOOTS him away! Tag back to Carter and he gets in between, only for Joe to back drop him! Fans rally as both men are down! Joe gets his bad leg moving, hot tag to Mark! Mark rallies on Carter with big shoulder tackles!

POLISH HAMMER for Carter! Half Nelson SLAM for Smith! EuroUpper for Carter, then a whip corner to corner into a back body block! Mark then goes up, FLYING BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Carter survives but Mark half nelsons. Carter arm-drags free, but Mark blocks the kick. Mark throws Carter, but Carter hits a ROLLING HEEL KICK! Hot tag to Smith! Smith boots but misses, Mark hits a BIG back suplex! Both men are down, but Mark gets after Smith. Mark whips and GAMANGIRIS! Cover, TWO! Smith survives and Joe calls to his brother! Mark isn’t sure, but he tags Joe in. The Coffeys get Smith up, run side to side, HIGH-LOW!! Cover, Carter breaks it!!

The fans are fired up as Mark whips but Carter reverses to send Mark out! PLANCHA! Down goes Mark and Carter and fans rally up! Joe goes up and up but the leg gives out! Joe falls down hard, and Smith CHOP BLOCKS! Tag to Carter, they coordinate, ASSISTED MOONSAULT! Cover, Smith & Carter win!

Winners: Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter, by pinfall (advance to the Triple Threat)

The hottest tag team does it again! They will not be denied, but will the third time be the charm? Or will it be three strikes and they’re out?

 

NXT UK Media catches up with A-Kid.

He just finished a meeting with Sid Scala, and they discussed what Die Familie has been doing in NXT UK. A-Kid got his rematch with Charlie Dempsey, but in rules that are very close to both men’s hearts. In two weeks, that rematch will be under British Round Rules! Will Dempsey put his true heritage above the supposed “family” he has in Teoman and Rohan Raja?

 

NXT UK Media catches up with Emilia McKenzie.

They ask her about Meiko Satomura’s successful title defense against Isla Dawn. What are her thoughts? Millie says Meiko again proved why she’s the standard bearer for the women’s division. But then Lash Legend says this must be about her. Everyone wants to know her thoughts on the NXT UK Women’s Division. Well, Lash thinks- Millie speaks up. Since arriving here, all Lash has done is talk and talk and talk. But no fighting. Hold up, wait a minute. Millie don’t want none. Lash ain’t got time for this. Lash walks off, but will #SuplexMillie throw her back to the States?

 

Ivy Nile VS Nina Samuels!

Diamond Mine’s Female Titan showed just how tough and powerful she is in her own fitness challenge on NXT, and in her undefeated streak. But will that dominance continue across the pond? Or will the Leading Lady of NXT UK steal away the spotlight?

The bell rings and fans sing, “Ivy’s gonna kill~ you!” Nina tells them to shut up and she ties up with Ivy. Ivy powers Nina to ropes, and lets off at 4. Nina scowls while fans applaud. Nina mocks Ivy’s muscles but Ivy shows her just how big those muscles are. They tie up again, Nina pulls hair to put Ivy in the corner, but lets off at 4. Ivy ducks the haymaker to hit a headlock takeover! Nina headscissors but Ivy kips free, only for Nina to headlock and takeover. Ivy gets the headscissors and pushes up to squeeze Nina! Nina endures as Ivy does push-ups! Ivy then throws Nina over, pushes up again, and then throws Nina again.

Nina endures as Ivy keeps going with push-ups and headscissor throws! Nina scrambles to the ropebreak! Ivy lets go at 3, Nina gets to the apron and wants Ivy to back off. Ivy rushes in and swings, but into a HOTSHOT with the ponytail! Nina gets in to rain down fists! Nina lets off while fans duel, and Nina shows she can do push-ups. Nina CLUBS Ivy, then ROCKS her with a forearm. Ivy staggers, Nina snapmares to NECK SNAP! Cover, TWO! Nina seethes but she gets a neck wrench. Ivy endures being twisted, and fans rally up. Ivy fights up, but Nina fish hooks to bring her down! Nina makes Ivy smile but the ref counts.

Nina lets off at 4 and then talks trash. Ivy grabs Nina’s hand! Fans rally, Nina clubs but Ivy KICKS and KICKS and ENZIGURIS! Nina staggers but Ivy runs her over! And again! Ivy whips, catches Nina’s crossbody, then FALL AWAY SLAMS! Ivy kips up and fires up, and fans cheer! Ivy runs in to SUPERWOMAN PUNCH! Then around the world for a CALF KICK! Nina falls, Ivy covers, TWO! Ivy grows frustrated while Nina flounders to a corner. Nina drop toeholds Ivy into buckles! Ivy gets up and Nina laughs as she runs back in. Ivy ROCKS Nina, goes up top, but Nina SLAPS her! Fans boo and Ivy is just pissed! Ivy drags Nina into a HANGING DRAGON SLEEPER!

Nina endures, the ref counts, ROLLING DIAMOND CUTTER! Then the DIAMOND DRAGON! Nina taps, Ivy wins!

Winner: Ivy Nile, by submission

Nina cracked under the pressure, and Ivy proves she’s a diamond in the rough! Will Ivy prove herself worthy of gold on both ends of the Atlantic?

 

Damon Kemp speaks.

“Last week, Sha Samuels attacked me from the back, like I was the reason why he ain’t a hit with the ladies. Look, I didn’t come to England to meet the Queen, to drink the tea, or to eat the crumpets. I came here to learn about the nitty gritty British style. And if Sha Samuels thinks he can attack me from the back, he has another thing coming. And I don’t like his odds stacked against me, because Damon Kemp is more dangerous than he’s ever been.” Will the newest Diamond Mine member grind the East End Butcher into ground beef?

 

A different “family” in NXT UK sits down for a meal.

This isn’t Die Familie, it’s the Bombers! Dave Mastiff says that first off, they have to give thanks to “Cousin Tony” for arranging this lovely place. It’s just a table in the back of the warehouse… Mastiff continues to say that family is the most important thing in the world. And while we’re talking family, we must remember those who aren’t with us anymore. Mastiff and Jack Starz pour out one for Big Fat Paulie. Salud. And now, to business. Starz gets on his phone to order something. What they have? Burgers, chicken burgers, steaks, kebabs. Yeah, he’ll have all that. Does Charlie want dessert?

“Charlie” is just a mop with Charlie Dempsey’s face stuck on it. So that’s a no? Okay. Starz tells the delivery man not to ring the doorbell when he gets here. If he does, he will get clipped! Good man. Wise guys. Four in one burgers and no guns. Beautiful. Mastiff wants to know what “Jackie Boy” has in store for Die Familie. Oh, he’ll make them kiss the ring. The ones on his fists. Beautiful. Charlie, tell us that story about beating up those kids. Okay, no matter what, these boys promise to stick together. There is nothing more important than family. Well, then he’s never tried a donut. Nice. Starz asks Mastiff what the eye sees.

No, no, no, do it right, Jack. “D-O-MAN! What does the eye see?” Mastiff looks through the donut and says he sees a pair of plonkers getting one hell of a beating! Right, Charlie? Well look at the state of this. Whose idea was mop Charlie? And all joking aside, who will win that final spot in the NXT UK Tag Team Championship Triple Threat?

 

Kenny Williams watches Tiger Turan highlights.

He doesn’t get why no one else is seeing what he’s seeing. Is he crazy? Is he? “The Masked Bozo” is the one messing with him! Harassing, stalking, whatever you wanna call it, and all costing Kenny his livelihood. Every loss Kenny’s had this year is because of Turan! Kenny will figure out who this really is behind the mask. The coward is messing with the Scum of the Earth. And when Kenny finds out who Turan is, he will rip them limb from limb! “You’ve made the biggest mistake of your life!” But will Kenny Cockroach end up crushed by Tiger Turan before he can see behind those stripes?

 

NXT UK Championship, Loser Leaves NXT UK: Ilja Dragunov VS Jordan Devlin!

Though the Czar won the Empty Arena match, it wasn’t how the Irish Ace wanted it to go. He didn’t want a No Holds Barred match, just a No Live Audience match! But fans, no fans, rules, no rules, there is no going back from this! One man wins and is champion, the other loses his place in the locker room! Will the 200th episode have a happy or tragic ending?

The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see someone have their last match as an NXT UK superstar!

Devlin and Dragunov stare down as fans rally up. They circle, tie up, and go around. Dragunov shoots in for a takedown, but Devlin gets up. They clinch, Devlin throws knees but Dragunov gets the arm. Dragunov hits a deep arm-drag, then shifts to a headlock. Devlin fights up, puts Dragunov on ropes, and the ref counts. Devlin swings but Dragunov dodges to hit an EXPLODER! Dragunov gets the headlock again but Devlin fights up. Devlin and Dragunov clinch, they go to ropes, and the ref counts. Devlin pulls hair but so does Dragunov! They go around, Devlin fires a forearm but Dragunov hits back!

Fans rally as the shots keep going, and Dragunov gets the edge! Dragunov ROCKS Devlin, but Devlin RAMS Dragunov to a corner! Devlin grinds forearm sin but Dragunov goes up the corner. The ref counts, Devlin rakes eyes behind the ref’s back! Fans boo, Devlin ROCKS Dragunov, then ROCKS him again! Devlin CHOPS Dragunov, climbs up after him, but Dragunov throws elbows! Dragunov CHOPS Devlin, CLUBS him, then CLUBS him again. Devlin stays up on the ropes, throws body shots, but so does Dragunov. Devlin goes for the suplex but Dragunov blocks! Devlin gets Dragunov up, turns him, for a TOP ROPE BRAINBUSTER!!

Dragunov tumbles to the floor, the ref hurries out to check on him, and fans lose their minds! Dragunov sputters but he’s somehow okay to continue. The ring count climbs, Dragunov somehow stands at 5 of 10 but he flops back down. Devlin hurries out because he knows Champion’s Advantage will screw this all up. Devlin puts Dragunov in, then KICKS Dragunov in the back! Dragunov crawls and fans boo but Devlin doesn’t care. Devlin sits Dragunov up to KICK him again! Devlin taunts Dragunov, drags him up, and whips him, only for Dragunov to flop down. The ref checks on Dragunov but he refuses to give up.

Devlin gets Dragunov up for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Dragunov clutches his neck and shoulder but he refuses to give up! Devlin throws knees and forearms into Dragunov, then whips. Dragunov reverses to CHOP! Dragunov tries but he can’t suplex Devlin with that bad neck and shoulder! Devlin drops elbows on Dragunov, then drags him back up. Devlin snapmares, runs and drops a leg, brother! Devlin grins as Dragunov sits up. Fans rally and Devlin SLAPS Dragunov. Dragunov throws a forearm, Devlin throws it back, they throw forearms back and forth, but Devlin shots around.

Dragunov elbows out of the waistlock, runs, but Devlin ducks the lariat. Devlin blocks the next, and Dragunov stumbles into ropes and that hurts the neck! Devlin CHOPS Dragunov, but Dragunov shoots around. Devlin switches the waistlock, shoves, but Dragunov tiger feints, into a SPANISH FLY! Devlin takes time to gloat on the corner but fans boo. Devlin paces around as Dragunov drags himself up. Devlin ROCKS Dragunov, CHOPS, and CHOPS again! But Dragunov blocks to SPINNING CHOP! And SPINNING CHOP to the back, then SPINNING CHOP to a leg! Devlin ROCKS Dragunov, then blocks the enziguri!

Dragunov fights the Cloverleaf, and brings Devlin down to SLAP him over and over! Devlin still has a leg but Dragunov uses the other to BOOT! Devlin holds on to HALF CRAB! And he STOMPS Dragunov’s head! Devlin sits deep on the hold! Fans rally, Dragunov endures, and he powers up to fight around! Dragunov BOOTS and BOOTS but Devlin gets both legs! FULL CRAB, but Dragunov powers through to roll Devlin! FALLING FOREARM!! Both men are down but fans are fired up for “NXT! NXT!” and “UK! UK!” Dragunov clamps onto Devlin to throw hammer ‘n’ anvil elbows!! Devlin can barely guard but Dragunov lets off before it’s called off!

Dragunov pushes Devlin around, drags him up, and waistlocks. Devlin switches, Dragunov throws more back elbows, then runs to LARIAT! Devlin wobbles, Dragunov keeps going with lariat after lariat, until he finally CLOBBERS Devlin! Dragunov wants the waistlock but Devlin switches, and BLINDSIDE HEADBUTTS! Dragunov staggers, but he uses that momentum to tiger feint! CONSTANTINE SPECIAL!! Both men are down and fans are loving this! Dragunov and Devlin stir, Dragunov is up first and he waistlocks! Dragunov hauls Devlin up but Devlin throws elbows. Dragunov still GERMAN SUPLEXES!

Fans want that “One More Time!” and Dragunov certainly wants to as he keeps the waistlock. But Devlin throws back elbows again. So Dragunov BLINDSIDE ENZIGURIS! Then SNAP GERMAN as Devlin rebounds off ropes! Dragunov holds on to the waistlock again, and he drags Devlin back up. Fans rally, Devlin pulls hair and throws down elbows! Devlin gets loose but Dragunov GOTCH LIFTS! Devlin can’t get free, GOTCH GERMAN SUPLEX! Both men are down from that rough landing! Fans chant for “UNBESIEGBAR!” as Dragunov drags himself to the corner. Dragunov is on the apron, and he goes up the corner!

Devlin hurries to hit ropes and trip Dragunov up! Devlin then DECKS Dragunov to the floor again! Dragunov is up fast this time, though, as Devlin aims from the apron. BLINDSIDE PENALTY KICK! And then an ASAI MOONSAULT!! Fans are thunderous for “NXT! NXT!” as the ring count climbs! Devlin gets Dragunov up and in quickly, then aims. Dragunov manages to stand, Devlin turns him, SLINGSHOT NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Devlin is frustrated with Dragunov as Dragunov survives and rolls away. Devlin storms over after Dragunov and goes up the corner himself. Dragunov gets up, but Devlin CLUBS him as he climbs!

Devlin CLUBS and CLUBS and CLUBS Dragunov, but still Dragunov joins Devlin at the top! Dragunov gives back forearm after forearm, then hauls Devlin up to SUPERPLEX! Roll through to a FALLING FOREARM!! Cover, TWO!!! Devlin survives but Dragunov is too tired to be upset. Fans rally up again, Devlin and Dragunov go to opposite corners. Dragunov runs in, TORPEDO- NO! Dragunov is sent into buckles! Devlin gets an arm, ripcord, DEVLINSIDE!! But Dragunov grabs for ropes! Devlin gets him away, covers, Dragunov gets his foot on the ropes! The ref doesn’t see it, Devlin wins?!?!

Winner: Jordan Devlin, by pinfall (NEW NXT UK Champion)

The fans boo, this isn’t right! Wait, wait, wait! Here comes Johnny Saint! The NXT UK GM won’t let this happen! We all saw it, so this match has to continue! Devlin doesn’t want this, but it’s Saint’s orders! Fans are thankful to Saint, but Devlin is furious! The bell rings again, Devlin ripcords, but gets a HEADBUTT!! Fans are thunderous for “UNBESIEGBAR!” TORPEDO- DESTROYER?!? Devlin pulls that one outta nowhere, then he hits a SHEER DROP BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, TWO?!!? Fans are electric and Devlin is freaking out! Devlin hurries up top, aims at Dragunov, 450 FLOPS!! BLINDSIDE TORPEDO MOSCOW!!

Dragunov isn’t done there! He ROCKS, CLUBS, KNEES and fires off on Devlin! But he spins into a HEADBUTT! Dragunov rebounds off ropes, into another HEADBUTT! Devlin reels Dragunov in but Dragunov gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX!! And then head-on, TORPEDO MOSCOW!!! Cover, Dragunov wins!!

Winner: Ilja Dragunov, by pinfall (still NXT UK Champion)

The Czar is victorious as justice prevails! The Irish Ace could not stop Dragunov, and now, Devlin must leave NXT UK! Where will we see Devlin next? And who is net to step to the truly #UNBESIEGBAR NXT UK Champion?


My Thoughts:

A great episode for NXT UK, though maybe not quite on the level of the 200th episode’s hype. If they’d gotten multiple title matches on this, then it’d live up to that. But we did get the women’s title last week, we’re getting Eddie Dennis VS Wild Boar in a Dog Collar Match next week, and the tag titles are coming around again so this was certainly a strong recording session for NXT UK. The tag title qualifier was a great opener. The Coffey Brothers losing made sense, but I’d hoped for more dysfunction. Instead, it was Joe’s pride trying to fight on a bad leg that costs them, and Mark seemed very forgiving since Joe is his brother.

Smith & Carter might finally get those tag titles with this being a Triple Threat, but who knows. And we got a great mafia movie parody from Mastiff & Starz. It was very clever to have a mop as Charlie, poking fun at Charlie not having a lot of charisma or energy. A-Kid also gets a British Rounds match with Dempsey, so who knows which way this splits for Die Familie. Maybe we get a Six Man, Die Familie VS A-Kid, Mastiff & Starz? Damon Kemp had a good promo to call out Sha Samuels, that match will be a lot of fun. Ivy Nile VS Nina Samuels was a good match, and of course Ivy won. We got a good promo segment from Millie and Lash, they’ll definitely have a match soon.

I said last week, there’s a good chance the NXT 2.0 transfers will win all their matches, but I feel like Millie should beat Lash to humble Lash and also build Millie towards finally challenging Meiko for the NXT UK Women’s Championship. And we got a very good vignette from Kenny Williams. I hope he’s seeing what I’m seeing, and that Tiger Turan is Amir Jordan in disguise. It’s what makes the most sense. The NXT UK Championship match was awesome stuff as always, and I like that they swerved us. Dragunov “loses” because of a technicality, but then great of Saint to come out and serve justice. Dragunov wins to keep his reign going, and we’re definitely seeing Devlin in NXT USA soon enough.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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