BROCK LESNAR is ready to turn San Antonio into Suplex City!

With less than three weeks before SummerSlam’s Last Man Standing match, Monday Night Raw sees the return of BRRROCK! LESNARRR! Will everyone steer clear of him? Or will someone end up an appetizer for The Beast?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Finn Balor w/ Damian Priest; Balor wins.
• Raw Women’s Championship: Bianca Belair VS Carmella; Mella wins by count out, Bianca retains the title.
• 2v1 Handicap: The Miz & Tommaso Ciampa VS AJ Styles; changed to…
• AJ Styles & Ezekiel VS The Miz & Tommaso Ciampa; Styles & Ezekiel win.
• Alexa Bliss & Asuka VS Nikki A.S.H. & “Doudrop” Piper Niven; Alexa & Asuka win.
• Angelo Dawkins w/ Montez Ford VS Jimmy Uso w/ Jey Uso; changed to…
• Six Man Tag: R-Truth & The Street Profits VS The Usos & Omos w/ MVP; Omos & The Usos win.
• Bobby Lashley & Matt Riddle VS Seth Rollins & (Austin) Theory; Lashley & Riddle win.

PLAY BY PLAY

BROCK LESNAR is here!

And San Antonio is fired up as he waves his hat and takes a bow. Brock’s pyro is a step behind, but he still goes down to the ring, fist bumping fans on the way. Fans chant Lesnar’s name and he has the mic to say, “Well God bless Texas!” Fans cheer that! Lesnar says with an intro like that, it’d be rude to leave his hat on so he’ll show some manners. He puts his hat up on the post and says that we just saw a little bit ago in a short recap, life is good for Roman Reigns. Since WrestleMania, Roman’s been living high on the hog, flying private jets and eating like a king. But there’s an old saying that came from right here in Texas: “Pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered!”

Lesnar tells Roman that he is a hog. And Lesnar slaughters hogs on his farm every single day. “At SummerSlam, the Tribal Hog is gonna get a country ass kicking to the likes he’s never seen.” But ladies and gentlemen, Paul Heyman introduces himself. And he assures us, they on the Island of Relevancy are booing, too. Fans boo Heyman louder and Lesnar says, “Speaking of hogs…” Well that’s not neighborly of you, Texas. Fans chant, “You Suck!” at Heyman now. Heyman says despite our differences, Brock Lesnar doesn’t suck. But ladies and gentlemen- Lesnar says three little piggies went to town. Oink oink oink, is Heyman gonna say something worthwhile?

Heyman asks, “You know what bothers me? We’ve gone from the Most Stupendous WrestleMania of all time to the most BARBARIC SummerSlam of all time, and that plays right into your hands,” Lesnar. The odds-on favorite in a Last Man Standing Match is Brock Lesnar. Why? Because Roman Reigns defined his greatness by athletically beating down, smashing the opposition, pinning them, making them tap out, in athletic competition. But we all defined Lesnar’s legacy by annihilating people and putting them down for good! By breaking their bodies, by conquering streaks and ending careers!

So if Lesnar has to put Roman down for the count of ten, that is what Lesnar is going to do! It doesn’t matter to Lesnar if he puts Roman down for 10, or for 100, or if he just sends Roman to the hospital, or even to the morgue! That’s not a man! That’s a BEAST! A HOG SLAUGHTERER! AN ANNIHILATOR! AN AVENGING BADASS… who wants revenge on Heyman’s Tribal Chief! Heyman gives us his word on something, though. We’re approaching 700 DAYS of Roman as champion. And Lesnar, “this is one streak you will not conquer.” Heyman will have Roman ready for Lesnar at SummerSlam, to put Lesnar down!

If Heyman has to train Roman Reigns to stick his hand up Lesnar’s ASS, and then pull Lesnar’s heart out from that hole, that is what His Tribal Chief is going to do to something like Lesnar! Before Lesnar can respond, (Austin) Theory appears! Theory says SummerSlam is going to be one of the greatest nights in WWE history. Because Theory takes back his WWE US Championship, and then he’ll sit back and watch the “Match of Mass Destruction.” See, after that match, Theory won’t run down to the ring, he’ll walk out, holding up the MITB contract, hand it to the official, cash-in, and then put a foot on either Lesnar’s chest or Roman’s chest, and the announcer will say… “AND NEW, Youngest, Undisputed WWE Universal Champion of the World… THEORY!”

Fans boo and Lesnar shrugs. Why not try it right now? Theory says it doesn’t matter if Lesnar wins or if Roman wins, because the way they’re talking about the outcome, it will be life altering. And Mr. Heyman, Theory says he should listen to Lesnar. Theory has some footage of his own from the Elimination Chamber that shows Lesnar doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself! He doesn’t care about anyone’s life but his own! Theory is talking about when Lesnar dribbled Theory off Plexiglas to then F5 him to the floor from the top of a pod! Fans cheer that and Lesnar is smiling. Theory tells everyone to shut up!

Theory tells Heyman that what we just saw could end up being Roman Reigns. He could be just a heap of humanity, sitting their motionless. But that footage wasn’t just for Roman. It’s for Lesnar to know that Theory didn’t forget! Well what do we have here? Lesnar comes to down, and all the roaches show up! The Alpha Academy have crept out from the shadows and are flanking the ring. But Lesnar throws off his jacket and welcomes Otis into the ring! Theory says to go get him, and Gable CHOP BLOCKS a leg! Lesnar hobbles and Otis RAMS him into a corner! But Lesnar is standing and smiling! Lesnar CLOBBERS Otis, then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes Gable!

Lesnar then CLOBBERS Otis out of the ring! The Alpha Academy flounders but Lesnar is after them both! He pulls off the steel steps to RAM Gable, then RAM Otis! And then he RAMS Gable again! And RAMS Otis again! Lesnar tosses the steps into the ring while Heyman is in shock! Lesnar grabs a chair, brings it over and SMACKS Gable! And again! And then Lesnar SMACKS Otis! Lesnar drags Gable up to then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly him again! Otis flounders up to his feet, and Lesnar fireman’s carries him to F5 onto the announce desk!! Fans are losing their minds as Lesnar just wrecked the Wrecking Ball! And then Lesnar fetches his hat.

Will Roman be ready for the most vicious, most brutal, most heinous fight of his life?

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Finn Balor w/ Damian Priest!

After the Mysterios made the Prince look like a fool, The Judgement Day attacked backstage to ruin the celebration. But will the King of Lucha get the better of Balor again? Or will Finn have some tricks of his own?

Raw returns as the Judgement Day makes their entrance. They and the Mysterios stare down, and Priest has the mic. “All rise.” Fans boo but Priest says to RISE and show proper respect to The Judgement Day! Priest tells Dominik that what happened last week was justice. For the old guard, for the way things used to be. In two weeks, Madison Square Garden, Mysterio celebrates 20 YEARS in the WWE. But face it, Rey, you’re done. Washed up, over. Rey has nothing left to offer Dominik. All he has is an ugly mask and some old, tired circus tricks that weren’t even his! However, The Judgement Day has something more. A new set of rules! Sounds good, right?

“The future of this business will be decided by The Judgement Day, and you’re welcome to join it, man.” But the fans don’t matter. Join them, step out of Rey’s shadow and blaze your own path! Live your own life and rise with the Judgement Day, or continue to fall alongside Rey. Finn has Priest calm down. But when is Dom going to learn to see things their way? Does Dom think Daddy can protect him? Ooo~, Rey the legend~! But Edge is a legend and we all saw what happened to him! Let’s look! Footage plays of last month when Finn joined to EJECT Edge from the faction. Edge is GONE, no longer coming back, adios!

And why? Because he was a bad leader. And just like Finn said before, Rey is a bad leader AND a bad father! Fans boo but Rey hopes Dom isn’t listening to this. Dom looks between everyone, but then Rey DECKS Finn! Dom and Rey DOUBLE DROPKICK Priest! The father and son double whip Finn, but Priest gets Finn out of there! Will Rey finish this with Finn? We’ll find out, after the break.

Raw returns again and Finn CHOKES Rey on the ropes as this match is underway! The ref counts, Finn lets off but Priest gets a sucker punch in! Finn drags Rey up, whips him but Rey holds ropes to block. Finn kicks low, whips corner to corner, but runs into an elbow! Rey runs, slides under and KICKS Finn to then KICK him again. Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Finn bails out but Rey takes aim to PLANCHA! Direct hit and down goes Finn! Dom fans his father off and Rey puts Finn in. Rey hurries in but Finn scoops for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Finn CLUBS Rey down and then bends him back!

Rey endures the chinlock stretch but fans rally up. Dom coaches his dad up but Finn drops an elbow! Cover, TWO! Rey gets away to a corner but Finn storms over. Finn stands Rey up to RAM a shoulder into his back! And then Finn brings Rey up for another BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Finn sits Rey up to drive an elbow in, and then clamps on a chinlock! Rey endures, fans rally up, and Rey fights up to throw elbows! Rey is free but Finn knees low! Finn suplexes, and holds on for Uno Amigo! Fans boo as Finn CLUBS Rey down, only needing the one. Finn drags Rey up at the apron, but Rey blocks the buckle bump to BUMP Finn!

Rey goes up the corner, but Finn CHOP BLOCKS a leg! Rey gets stuck in the Tree of Woe, but then falls right out! Rey clutches a leg but Finn gets that very leg to hold in the ropes! The ref counts, Finn lets off, but then grabs the leg again to wrap it back around. Finn stomps the leg and Rey flops to the floor! Dom goes out to check on his dad but Finn goes out to tell Dom to watch. Finn puts Rey in but Rey WRECKS Finn with a dropkick! Rey runs to SLIDING SUNSET BOMB! Finn hits barriers and both men are down as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Finn is up top but Rey fires off haymakers! Rey then climbs up after Finn to SUPER STEINER! Cover, TWO! Priest is relieved but Dom fires the fans back up. Finn grabs at Rey’s bad leg but Rey ENZIGURIS! Finn is on the ropes! Rey dials it up, 619! Rey hurries on one good leg to climb up the corner! FROG SPLASH FLOPS as Finn moves! Finn says he’s too smart, but then Rey GHOST PINS! TWO!! Finn escapes and surprises himself! Finn snarls and he hurries after Rey. Rey is on the apron, he shoulders into Finn and throws more haymakers, Rey slingshots but Finn turns it into a gut wrench, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO!

Priest and Finn are both frustrated but Finn drags Rey up. Suplex, but Rey slips out! The bad leg jams, and Finn dragon sleepers for the inverted suplex, BLOODY SUNDAY! Finn hurries up top now, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Finn wins!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall

Dom gets in to check on his dad, but Finn and Priest stare him down. Finn says this only proves him right. Will Dom side with them and their dark ways? Or will Dom stay beside his father and legacy?

Becky Lynch is here!

And Raw is Big Time because she is here to watch the Raw Women’s Championship rematch from Money in the Bank!

Raw returns and Becky stands on the desk with a mic. “I was devastated when I didn’t win MITB after everything I’d been through to get in, and I kinda lost my mind a little bit. But then, I sat with myself and I realized, cashing in say the way Liv did, well that’s like winning the lottery, isn’t it? And I don’t NEED to win the lottery because I work my ass off every week for a paycheck!” So therefore, Becky dragged her broken, bruised body through that No Holds Barred match against Asuka, and that should have automatically made her as #1 Contender! But no~! It’s MELLA! Mella gets her rematch!!

So uh, Becky is going blue in the face saying this, but she should just have been given her rematch on the Monday after WrestleMania, but NO~! No, she is made to jump through hoops and work her way back to the top, and being denied what is rightfully hers! And so tonight… Well, she doesn’t give a damn who wins! Becky DEMANDS a championship match at SummerSlam! Becky slams the mic down and glares at the ring as Bianca Belair makes her entrance.

Raw Women’s Championship: Bianca Belair VS Carmella!

The EST dealt with the (self-proclaimed) Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE already, but if she wants that whooping again, then Bianca is more than happy to give it. Will Mella again miss out on the gold? Or will Mella be money on the road to SummerSlam?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who brings this title to Tennessee!

Mella rushes in, Bianca picks her up and RAMS her into a corner! Bianca RAMS into Mella more, lets off at the ref’s count of 4, then whips corner to corner. Bianca runs in but Mella BOOTS back! Mella throws Bianca down by her hair, then smiles and soaks up the heat. Becky likes that as Mella pie faces the “TackiEST.” Mella runs, but gets run over! Bianca dusts off her hands and then dares Mella to do something. Mella bails out instead so Bianca drags Mella up to SMACK her off the desk! Bianca tells Becky she’s next. Becky talks trash back but Corey Graves tells Becky to focus because Mella will get her. We’ll have to wait and see while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Mella thrashes Bianca around in a chinlock. Bianca endures and fans rally up. Bianca fights up, throws body shots, then shoves Mella way. Mella ducks and tilt-o-whirls, but Bianca blocks that to get a BACKBREAKER! Mella writhes and Becky is annoyed, but Bianca runs in, into a BOOT! Mella goes up to get Bianca with a HANGING HEADSCISSORS! The ref counts, Mella lets off at 4, and she climbs up again to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Mella hurries to Oklahoma Roll, TWO! Bianca is in the corner, Mella DROPKICKS her into buckles! Fans boo but Mella soaks up the heat.

Bianca scowls as she gets up. Mella talks trash, digs her boots in, but the ref counts. Mella lets off at 4, climbs up the corner again, but fans rally for the “E S T! E S T!” Mella leaps, into Bianca’s arms! Bianca slips Mella around into the LongEST Suplex, and SLAM! Becky is annoyed again while both women are down. Fans rally for Bianca and she gets up. Bianca runs in to run Mella over! Bianca bumps Mella off buckles, then more buckles, then more buckles! Bianca stomps Mella, whips her corner to corner, but Mella reverses. Bianca goes up and over and handsprings, then she catches Mella to chicken wings! GLAM- NO, roll through! TWO, Bianca has it now!

TWO but Bianca uses that to go up the corner and say, “Kiss this!” Mella scowls, but Bianca flip sup and over and chicken wings, GlamEST Slam! Becky is beside herself as Bianca runs, but Mella anchors a foot! Bianca kicks her, STANDING MOONSAULT onto knees! FABULOUS KICK! Cover, TWO! Becky looks at Mella with some disappointment and Mella is beside herself. Bianca gets up and Mella aims again, FABU- NO! Bianca gets under the kick to lift Mella up for a BUCKLE BOMB! Then a torture rack! Melal grabs ropes for dear life but she can’t hold on! Mella uses her FEET now! Bianca still gets Mella loose, KISS OF- FACEBUSTER?!? Cover, TWO!!!

Mella is shocked and Becky is surprised, too! Bianca survives the counter and Mella grits her teeth. Mella hears the fans cheering Bianca on and gets mad. Mella fires off fast hands on Bianca in the corner, but lets off at 4. Mella then throws heavy back elbows! Only to get caught into a full nelson! And then spun around for shoulder after shoulder into the corner! Bianca lets off, gets Mella around, and POWER- NO, Mella slips out, so Bianca LARIATS! Bianca CLUBS away on Mella’s back, shoves her and pops her up, SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO! Mella is still in this but Bianca shakes her head. Bianca runs in but Mella dumps her out!

Mella aims but Bianca trips her up. Mella boots Bianca away, kicks at her, but Bianca trips Mella up! Bianca shoves Mella into the ring, goes up the corner, but Mella scrambles away! Fans boo as Mella wants to chicken out, but Bianca rushes after her! Bianca suplexes, and she holds Mella up. Mella fights out, and CLAWS Bianca’s eyes! But Bianca POSTS Mella in revenge! The ring count is climbing past 5 of 10, Bianca gets Mella in, but Becky rushes over! Bianca is ready, the count is climbing! It’s 10, Bianca loses!!

Winner: Carmella, by count-out; Bianca is still Raw Women’s Champion

Mella celebrates like she won this on her own, but she is forgetting Champion’s Advantage. Becky just wanted to make Bianca lose, but Bianca loses her cool! She SHOVES Mella down, and hits a KISS OF DEATH!! Bianca holds the belt up because she is still the RawEST Women’s Champion! Will she also be the angriEST when she finally gets her hands on Big Time Becks again?

The mysterious video plays again.

The lights. The cemetery. The gold medal, the license plate, the armbands.

The Miz and Tommaso Ciampa are here!

The Hollywood A-Lister is hosting another episode of MizTV, and tonight’s guest is Miz’s Guardian Psycho! What will they both have to say about AJ Styles after the break?

Raw returns and he welcomes us to the Most Must-See WWE Talk Show, and he formally introduces his guest. This man, since his debut on Raw, has mercilessly attacked multiple superstars, including their opponent in tonight’s 2v1 Handicap Match, AJ Styles. Ladies and gentlemen, get up out of your seats for CIAMPA! Fans boo instead but Ciampa still smiles. Miz welcomes Ciampa to the show, and he has to ask for an explanation as to Ciampa’s actions. Ciampa says it is simple: He wants the eyes of the world on Ciampa, and no one commands attention more than The Miz. That is CORRECT! Who else has a hit reality show directly following Raw tonight? Only The Miz!

Ciampa is talking to the right person. Miz guided a social media icon in Logan Paul and made him into a WWE Superstar. With Miz’s help, Logan beat the great tag team of Rey & Dominik Mysterio at WrestleMania. And that’s what Ciampa wants! He wants WrestleMania! He wants SummerSlam! He wants opportunity! He wants it ALL!! Miz says yes, that is what they all want. And Miz tried to hand Logan Paul that same opportunity. Did Logan thank Miz for that? NO. Logan responded on social media with a video. Logan told Miz and everyone that he is NOT changing his mind about what he said, he is NOT Miz’s tag partner or friend.

Logan said it when he signed the contract, and will say it now: Logan Paul is coming after The Miz at SummerSlam. Understand? Miz tells Logan Paul that he knows what this is. Logan is stirring up controversy! It gets people talking! And no one does it better than them! So this is the last chance. Logan can retract his original statement and join Miz to become Undisputed Tag Team Champions, or… Miz will find someone else. And Miz doesn’t have to look very far. Right, Ciampa? Tonight, they will show the Phenomenal One just how great they are! All the eyes will be on Ciampa & Miz! But speaking of, here comes AJ Styles!

Styles has a mic to say, “Enough, enough, enough. Miz, do us all a favor and shut your mouth! No one cares what you have to say, especially me.” Every time Styles’ back is turned, he gets attacked by either Ciampa or Miz, and that’s a fact. Miz, this sounds like you got someone to do your dirty work. And that’ snot brave, powerful or anything like that. That sounds like the actions of a man who- DON’T YOU DARE! Miz won’t have it, but the fans are already chanting, “TINY BALLS! TINY BALLS!” Ciampa tells them to stop that, but that only makes them chant it more. Miz keeps telling Styles to stop, but Styles says he was just going to say it sounds like the actions of a coward.

Oh… Is that all he was going to say? But also one with tiny, tiny balls. Miz and Ciampa are furious, but then Styles gets in and starts swinging one of the chairs! Miz and Ciampa bail out, Styles CHUCKS the chairs at them! And wait, maybe Styles won’t be alone in this! EZEKIEL heads out to the ring! “I am very sorry to interrupt, but AJ, I realized something. In all my time here on Monday Night Raw, I haven’t had a chance to introduce myself. I’m Ezekiel. I’m Elias’ younger brother. And Elias used to talk about how truly phenomenal you really are, inside the ring and outside. And the matches you guys had, well, they were in a word, phenomenal.”

Zeke says another thing Elias told him, almost obsessively, was that Miz has tiny balls. Miz is speechless that Zeke is getting on the trolling, too. But Zeke went ahead and talked to Adam Pearce, and they agreed that this would be more #ZekedUp if this was a tag match! Styles & Zeke VS Ciampa & Miz! If Styles will have him, that is. Miz protests but Styles shakes Zeke’s hand! Will Ciampa & Miz grow a pair to take on a pair of opponents?

AJ Styles & Ezekiel VS The Miz & Tommaso Ciampa!

Raw returns and Zeke ties up with Ciampa, but Ciampa knees low! Ciampa wrenches, wristlocks, but Zeke wrenches and headlocks. Ciampa powers up and out but Zeke runs him over. Things speed up, Ciampa hip tosses but Zeke gest a headlock takeover! Fans rally and Zeke grinds Ciampa down. Ciampa fights up, powers Zeke to a corner, but the ref counts. Ciampa lets off at 4 to kick and ROCK Zeke! Ciampa CHOPS Zeke, wrenches and whips him corner to corner, but Zeke goes up to MULE KICK! Ciampa staggers, Zeke runs in to CHOP! And throw body shots and CLUB Ciampa on the back. Zeke ROCKS Ciampa, whips him to ropes, but Ciampa holds ropes.

Ciampa BOOTS Zeke, tags Miz, and Miz runs, into a hip toss! Zeke drags Miz over, tags Styles in, and Styles CLUBS the arm. Styles ROCKS and CHOPS Miz, then whips him to ropes. Miz KICKS Styles, but Styles DROPKICKS Miz! Styles drags Miz up, bumps him off buckles, and then bumps him off more buckles. Fans rally for Styles as he RAMS into Miz at the corner, then Styles tags Zeke. Zeke stomps Miz, brings him around to a headlock, but Miz pulls hair to put Zeke in the corner. Ciampa tags in and they mug Zeke. Ciampa ROCKS Zeke, whips him to ropes but Zeke reverses. Ciampa dodges but Zeke FLAPJACKS him!

Ciampa gets up but swings into a scoop and FALL AWAY SLAM! Zeke runs in at the corner, but Ciampa elbows Zeke away! The ref checks on Ciampa but Miz DECKS Zeke with a cheap shot! Styles protests, but Ciampa runs to KNEE Zeke down to the floor! Ciampa goes out after Zeke to RAM him into barriers. Ciampa sits on the apron, and both he and Miz applaud. Ciampa pats himself on the back before he fetches Zeke into the ring. Ciampa drags Zeke up to throw hands but Zeke throws body shots. Ciampa TOSSES Zeke out hard, then tags Miz. Miz stomps Zeke, drags him up and SMACKS him off the announce desk!

Miz shouts that he has HUGE BALLS, and he struts around, while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Miz keeps Zeke from Styles with a knee, then the A-LIST COMBINATION! Cover, TWO! Miz keeps on Zeke by pulling hair, and then dragging him to the corner. Tag to Ciampa, they double whip and double elbow Zeke down! Miz flexes, Ciampa taunts Styles, then Ciampa STOMPS Zeke in the head! Ciampa clamps on a chinlock and he grinds Zeke down! It’s almost a Bully Choke and Zeke is turning red! Fans rally, Zeke fights up, and Zeke gets to his feet to arm-drag free! Zeke hurries but Ciampa rolls him away from Styles, TWO! Zeke JUMP KNEES Ciampa down! Fans fire up while both men are down!

Miz shouts to Ciampa, Styles rallies the fans for Zeke, hot tags to Miz and Styles! Miz puts on the brakes but Styles rallies on him! PHENOMENAL BLITZ! Styles then runs to SLIDING FOREARM! Fans fire up and Styles runs in at Miz to clothesline in the corner! Pump handle scoop to a GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Miz survives but Styles keeps his focus. Styles drags Miz up to fireman’s carry but Miz fights free. Miz waistlocks, Styles switches, O’Conner Roll, TWO! Styles DECKS Ciampa, but Miz kicks a leg out! BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO! Styles survives and Miz is surprised. Miz grits his teeth and fans rally up.

Miz waits on Styles to get up, he full nelsons, but Styles fights free to USHIGOROSHI! Cover, Ciampa breaks it! Zeke TOSSES Ciampa out! Zeke goes out to then SMACK Ciampa off the desk! Miz WRECKS Zeke! But Styles catches Miz for a roll, into the CALF CRUSHER!! Miz endures, Ciampa mugs Styles! The ref reprimands, Ciampa won’t let off, the ref rings the bell!

Winners: AJ Styles & Ezekiel, by disqualification

Ciampa lets off Styles, goes to Miz’s side, but Styles PLANCHAS! Miz gets away and Ciampa takes the hit! Miz runs away, the actions of a coward! Styles says he has Miz’s number, will Logan Paul not be the only one gunning for the A-Lister this Summer?

Matt Riddle scooters over to Bobby Lashley.

Riddle says hey to Bobby, and hi to “Travito,” the US Championship belt. Good to see Travito found a good home. But bro, Riddle can’t wait to get his hands on Seth Rollins to hit a sweet RKBRO. Oh wait, he just said his plan. Now it won’t be outta nowhere! Lashley says he can’t wait to get his hands on Theory. That punk’s been running his mouth since winning the MITB contract, but his mouth is writing checks his body can’t cash. Tonight, they’ll make both those guys pay. And don’t even sweat it, Lashley, you’ll totally retain at SummerSlam.

But since there’s time before the match, maybe they can watch Stranger Things together. Riddle gets really scared, but if Lashley’s there, maybe he won’t be. Lashley says sorry, but he already watched the new episode. But he’ll finish warming up and see Riddle out there. Riddle says cool. And remember the Alamo! Will the #BROMighty crush the Visionary and Golden Boy?

Alexa Bliss & Asuka VS Nikki A.S.H. & “Doudrop” Piper Niven!

The Five Foot Fury teams with the Empress of Tomorrow to take on the Almost SuperHero and her powerful tag partner. Will we see a new alliance forged here tonight? Or will Alexa and Asuka stay solo acts after this?

Raw returns as Asuka makes her entrance. Then Nikki makes her entrance, followed by Piper’s. The teams sort out, Asuka and Nikki start and they tie right up. Nikki throws Asuka down by her hair, then strikes her pose. Piper tells Nikki to stay serious, and Nikki rams shoulders. Asuka stays up and talks trash, so Nikki runs again. Asuka follows and then runs Nikki over! Asuka fires up and drags Nikki up to bump off buckles. Tag to Alexa, Alexa rolls Nikki up, ONE! Oklahoma Roll, TWO! Ghost Pin, TWO! Nikki RAMS Alexa with a shoulder then throws Alexa down by her hair. Nikki runs, Piper tags in, Alexa SLAPS Nikki and KNEES her down!

Alexa sets up, INSULT2- Piper CLOBBERS her! Piper grins as she drags Alexa up and CLUBS her down. Piper has Alexa in a corner, ROCKS her with a forearm, then brings her around to scoop. Nikki tags in and Piper SLAMS Alexa, for Nikki to BASEMENT BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Nikki stays on Alexa, whips her to a corner, then runs in to SPLASH! Nikki snapmares Alexa, and clamps on with a half nelson chinbar! Alexa endures as Nikki thrashes her around! Alexa endures, Nikki leans on the hold, but Alexa fights up. Nikki whips Alexa to a corner, runs in but only gets buckles! DOUBLE LARIATS collide and both women are down!

Fans fire up, both women crawl, hot tags to Piper and Asuka! Asuka dodges Piper to KICK and KICK! Piper blocks but Asuka ducks the haymaker! Asuka throws a BACKHAND, BACKHAND, SOBAT, and BACKHAND to a CODE BREAKER! Piper staggers, fans fire up with Asuka and she whips. Piper blocks and reverses but Asuka goes up to missile dropkick! Piper gets away, tags Nikki and she leaps, into a KNEE! Asuka was ready, and she KICKS away on Nikki! Asuka runs and HIP ATTACKS Piper down, to then SLIDING KICK Nikki! Cover, TWO! Nikki is still in this but Asuka snapmares and tags in Alexa.

Asuka and Alexa run, but Piper trips Asuka up! Alexa dropkicks Nikki while Asuka avoids the senton! Nikki rolls Alexa, TWO! Alexa kicks, reels Nikki in, DDT!! Cover, Alexa and Asuka win!

Winners: Alexa Bliss & Asuka, by pinfall

Alexa gives her former friend a handshake then celebrates with Asuka. But will either of these winners be waiting on the other side of SummerSlam for a Raw Women’s Championship match?

Angelo Dawkins w/ Montez Ford VS Jimmy Uso w/ Jey Uso!

The Street Profits want to set the record straight on their loss at Money in the Bank, but that means making it to Nashville! Will the #CurseofGreatness get Takeback Season Part 2 started? Or will Jimmy prove why he and Jey are the ones?

Raw returns and the Usos have the mics. Jey is fired up and he says, “The Bloodline is now in your city! And once again, we out here saying what we was goin’ do, again. Sounding like a broken record.” Jimmy says, “Blue brand?” Jey says, “Got that!” “Red brand?” “Got that, too!” Jimmy says The Bloodline’s running RawDown, and they can show up whenever they want to! Because they’re STILL the WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions~! Jey says ever since MITB, the Profits over here whining, boohoo, crying, wah wah. Well, Jimmy would be crying too if he lost to the Usos!

But it doesn’t matter who the guest ref is, as long as he can count to three, the SummerSlam is where the Usos get another one! Because the Profits are the twos, and #WeThe- The Profits interrupt the catchphrase with their entrance! The Profits make it rain Solo cups, and they have mics of their own. “San Antonio~! Why look who it is! It’s the U~SOS~!” Why didn’t they tell the Profits they’re scared? The Usos hit them with everything they had and Ford’s shoulder was still up! But make no mistakes, Uce. They’ll get in your face so you know they’re serious. At SummerSlam, the Profits are taking those titles! And you know why. The Profits are up, and #WeWantTheSmoke!

But wait! R-Truth is making his way out here? He wants everyone to hold on! San Antonio, what’s up? But Profits, Usos, it doesn’t have to be like this. Just everyone calm down. They’re in San Antonio, Texas, the City of Brotherly Love. Uh, no… But Truth says we all know his many certifications: Divorce Attorney; Marriage Counselor; and he’s even able to fly a Top Gun airplane. But his best certification is that he is a bonafide, certified, Tag Team Counselor! Let’s all just get along and let Truth counsel. Wow, he’s got a lot of jobs. But Truth, you’ve been around the Usos’ family a long time. You need to get up out the ring so they can handle business.

Unless that is, Truth has a damn referee shirt. Well, hold on, okay, let’s get the elephant out of the room. Truth IS a certified WWE referee. Oh. Well, okay. He DOES have a referee shirt on! So then, Truth will audition for SummerSlam! Watch this count! ONE! TWO! THREE!! You’re outta there! Holding! Charge! Maybe someone gets thrown out and Truth will count. ONE…! TWO…! THREE…! He ain’t in yet! FOUR…! FIVE…! Do something! SIX…! SEVEN…! Jimmy tells Truth to take that damn shirt off! Fans boo but Jimmy tells Truth to take his clown ass to the back where it belongs! Fans boo more and Truth says he’s a clown ass, is he?

Y’all wanna fight the clown ass? San Antonio, you wanna see this clown ass fight an Uso? Then hold the mic. Dawkins has him, and Truth does his best to take the ref shirt off. Ford helps out, and Truth is ready to go. Truth will take BOTH Usos. Whoa…! But, with his partners. Then it’s even, 3v2! Wait, hold on. Here comes OMOS and MVP! MVP says, “Gentlemen, pardon the intrusion, but I was standing with the Nigerian Giant at the monitor, watching Truth make an absolute fool of himself, and I was struck with an idea. Why not allow the Nigerian Giant to be the special guest referee? That would be one huge spectacle, pun very much intended.”

Truth asks San Antonio if that giant can even count. Well neither can Truth! But Omos had an even better idea. Let’s be part of this match tonight! It’s a great opportunity to offer the services of the 7’3″, 400 pound giant to the Bloodline! Then we can even up the odds. What do the Usos say? The Usos are ready for that. What does Dawkins say? He’s down for a fight. And Truth? Well… Remember the Alamo! They go after the Usos and Omos! Omos DECKS Truth, drags the Profits off the Usos, then feed them to DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Omos BOOTS Truth back down, and fans boo as Omos looms over Truth. Is this Six Man still going to happen? Or has the damage been done?

Six Man Tag: R-Truth & The Street Profits VS The Usos & Omos w/ MVP!

Raw returns and yes, this match is happening! The Nigerian Giant starts against Dawkins and Dawkins fires off! Omos shoves Dawkins to ropes then runs him over! MVP says to give him more, but Omos tags in Jey and Jey stands Dawkins up. Dawkins ROCKS Jey, fires off fast hands, then tags Ford. The Profits double whip Jey, then dropkick Jey down! Dawkins gives Ford the boost, BACK SUPLEX SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Ford clamps onto Jey, wrenches, and tags in Truth! Fans fire up and Truth breaks it down to ROCK Jey! Truth fires hands, brings Jey around, but Jey powers him to the corner! Jimmy tags in to mug Truth!

Jimmy tags Omos and they mug Truth with a CHOP! Omos tags Jimmy back in, he drags Truth from the Profits and stomps Truth’s hand. MVP talks trash, Jimmy shows off his dance moves then DECKS Truth! Cover, ONE! Jimmy is annoyed but he taunts Truth. Jimmy drags Truth up, waistlocks and puts him in the corner. Truth counter punches Jimmy! And he hits Jey! And Omos! Jimmy kicks low to then HEADBUTT Truth down! Truth flounders but Jimmy stays between Truth and the Profits. Jimmy stomps Truth to the corner, tags Jey, then Jey tags Omos. The Usos double  back suplex, but Truth slips off! The Profits get in to DOUBLE DROPKICK the Usos!

Omos isn’t sure what to do and Truth dropkicks him! Omos stays up, so the Profits help out, TRIPLE DROPKICK! Omos drops off the apron but lands on his feet! The Profits aim to DOUBLE PLANCHA the Usos! Truth fires up, and he aims at Omos! PLANCHA, but Omos catches him! Omos pops Truth up to SNAKE EYES off the apron! And then CLOBBER him! Omos roars as the only man standing and MVP says that’s what happens! “Who’s the giant?” “I’M the giant!” Omos roars again as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Jey and Omos mug Truth. Omos looms over Truth, stands on Truth’s leg, and Truth shouts in pain! Omos drags Truth up and he CLUBS Truth right down! Then Omos sucker punches Dawkins! MVP taunts Dawkins for taking his eye off the ball, and Omos drags Truth back up. Omos whips Truth hard into the Uso corner! Truth bounces off buckles, Omos looms over him and roars again. MVP says that right there is greatness! Omos CHOKES Truth on the ropes, then lets off. Omos tags Jey, and Jimmy tells the fans, “No, YOU suck!” Omos sets Truth up for Jey to MULE KICK!

Jimmy talks trash on Truth and Jey drags Truth up. Jey swings but Truth does the splits to dodge! Then he CALF KICKS Jey down! Fans fire up, Truth and Jey crawl, hot tags to Jimmy and Ford! Ford dodges Jimmy to GAMANGIRI! Then he goes up to CROSSBODY! Ford gets up to SMACK Omos, then he whips Jimmy. Jimmy reverses, follows, but Ford stops to LARIAT him down! Ford swings, but Jimmy ducks to back suplex. Ford lands on his feet to kick, KICK and ENZIGURI! Then BLOCKBUSTER! Ford kips up and roars to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Jimmy bails out but Ford builds speed.

Ford stops when Omos stands in his way, but Dawkins trips Omos up! Ford GAMANGIRIS Omos, but Omos grabs Dawkins! Ford saves Dawkins from Omos and they POST Omos together! But Jimmy drags Ford up the apron! Ford GAMANGIRIS Jimmy, then hurries to tag Dawkins! Ford Electric Chair Lifts Jimmy and Dawkins climbs, DOOMSDAY DEVICE!! Cover, Jey breaks it in time! Ford gets in but Jey gets him for a POP-UP NECKBREAKER! Truth gets in, he gets Jey for a SPIN-OUT BOMB! Truth puts up the hand and fans fire up for “You Can’t See Me!” But Omos drags Truth out! And RAMS Truth into steel steps!

Dawkins has Jimmy, blocks a kick but not the DRAGON WHIP! Jimmy looks around but Dawkins CYCLONE SPLASHES and ENZIGURIS! Omos tags in before the ANOINTING! MOUNTAINTOP SLAM!! Cover, Omos and Usos win!

Winners: Omos & The Usos, by pinfall

MVP says there it is! That power is why the Nigerian Giant should be feared! But will he still be passed over for the role of referee at SummerSlam?

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

The Visionary is laughing as he walks in and Kevin Patrick says after Rollins beat Ezekiel, he wanted more, until Matt Riddle appeared outta nowhere with an RKO. How does Rollins feel about that? “I feel great! HAHAHA! Because it’s Monday night, and it’s the main event, and that means it’s MY time, baby.” But Rollins is hearing a lot of conversation about the identity of Ezekiel. But guess what, Mike, Rollins doesn’t care! Rollins doesn’t care if it’s Ezekiel, Elias, Elmo, Elrod or El Gigante! If you get in Rollins’ way, he will put you down. But there is one person whose identity Rollins is very curious about.

“Who in the HELL does Riddle think he is?! No, really? Who? Who is Riddle? Is he some ultra-talented savant that’s thinking on a higher plane than everybody else? Or, is he just some idiot bro that Randy Orton felt sorry for? HAHAHAHA~! I’ll tell you who he isn’t: He isn’t a person who can ride the coattails of Randy~ anymore. He isn’t a person who can hide behind his Big Bro, Randy, anymore And he isn’t someone who can use the good name of Seth Freakin’ Rollins to chase the clout. You know what they say about playing with fire? Sooner or later, you’re gonna get burned. HAHAHA! Ask Cody Rhodes!”

Rollins keeps laughing but then Theory walks in. Theory apologizes for the interruption, but was just wondering if Rollins had any advice on being Mr. MITB. Rollins had the greatest cash-in of all time, how’d he do it? Rollins laughs, and says Theory has come to the right man. Walk with him, talk with him! Will the Architect share his plans with the Youngest Mr. MITB in history? And will these two be able to overcome the #BROMighty duo they’ll be up against?

A new mysterious video plays.

There is an hourglass and a silhouette. An RKO shirt, a John Cena hat, and now writing on the wall. Someone is making their way back, but when and where will we see who this is?

Logan Paul speaks.

“Miz, you’re delusional! I don’t want anything to do with you! I don’t want to be your partner. You and I are done! I want you one-on-one at SummerSlam. And just to make sure you’re understanding all of this perfectly, I’ll be coming to Monday Night Raw next week so you can really read my lips.” And when they see each other face-to-face, it’ll be AWESOME!

Bobby Lashley & Matt Riddle VS Seth Rollins & (Austin) Theory!

Speaking of SummerSlam, The Rocky Mountain Machine is going to defend his US Championship gold against Vince McMahon’s Golden Boy, and the Stallion just wants to kick the Visionary’s ass! Will they get to whet their appetites here tonight? Or will Rollins & Theory #BurnItDown together?

Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance, followed by Theory’s. The teams sort out and Riddle starts against Theory. They tie up, Theory kicks low and throws haymakers. Theory stomps Riddle into a corner, rains down fists, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory snarls and brings Riddle up to ROCK him with another punch. Theory tags Rollins, they mug Riddle, and Rollins CLUBS Riddle to then DECK him! Rollins drops a knee, drags Riddle up, then tags Theory in. They mug Riddle again, body shot after body shot, then Theory flexes on Lashley. The ref has Theory stay back, and Theory whips Riddle corner to corner

Riddle goes up and over, KICKS Theory again and again in the corner, then fires up with the fans. Riddle gut wrenches Theory to suplex him! Riddle stares Rollins down, runs in at Theory and forearm smashes! Tag to Lashley and he runs side to side to RAM into Theory! Fans fire up and Lashley runs in at Theory again, but Theory BOOTS him! Theory runs, Rollins tag sin, but Lashley catches both of them! COMPLETE SHOT DDT COMBO! Cover, TWO! Tag to Riddle and he gets a boost for the ASSISTED FLOATING BRO! Cover, ONE! Rollins crawls but Riddle drags him back and tags in Lashley. They mug Rollins, then Lashley bumps Rollins off buckles.

Lashley RAMS into Rollins again and again, then says he’s taking Rollins up. STALLING Suplex! Rollins fights free, ducks and dumps Lashley out of the ring, then builds speed to DIVW! Lashley catches Rollins to a fireman’s carry! Riddle sees Theory coming and PENALTY KICKS him! Lashley then POSTS Rollins! Fans fire up with Lashley and Riddle, but Dolph Ziggler is heading out here? In a suit, too! What is the Show Off doing showing up this late into the show? Guess we’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns once again and Riddle fights his way out of the enemy corner! Riddle ROCKS Rollins, elbows Theory, then fires off on Theory more! Theory falls, Rollins runs in but into an elbow! Riddle goes up but Theory trips him! Ziggler is watching up close as Rollins goes up and gets Riddle for an INVERTED SUPERPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives but Rollins covers again, TWO! Rollins argues with the ref but the count is fair! Rollins stomps Riddle’s hand to keep him from reaching to Lashley, then he stomps one of Riddle’s feet. Rollins BOOTS Riddle down, then looms over him. Rollins slaps Riddle around, and taunts him about Randy being gone.

Riddle CHOPS Rollins! And CHOPS, and ROCKS and fires off palm strikes! Riddle runs, but into a SLEEPER HOLD! Rollins drags Riddle down, facelocks, but Riddle endures. Fans rally, Riddle fights up, and he powers his way towards his corner! Rollins wrenches and suplexes to GOURD BUSTER! Rollins has the facelock again and it’s almost a grovit! Ziggler seems intrigued as Riddle fights up. Riddle reaches out, powers his way forward again, but Rollins suplexes again! Riddle lands on his feet this time! And he spins Rollins to a PELE! Theory tags in and he slingshot somersaults, but into a BODY SCISSORS! SLEEPER HOLD!!

Theory flails and gets to his feet, but Riddle has the BROMISSION! Theory BACKPACK SENTONS! Both men are down and fans fire up! They both crawl, Theory and Riddle hot tag Rollins and Lashley! Lashley POUNCES Rollins, CLOBBERS him, then scoops and SLAMS him! Lashley DECKS Theory for good measure before he RAMS into Rollins! NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up and Lashley reels Rollins in, gut wrench to the- NO, Rollins slips out and ENZIGURIS! Rollins runs in to forearm smash at the corner, but Lashley reverses the whip! Rollins goes up, but gets caught! POWERSLAM! Cover, Theory breaks it!

Lashley gets Theory’s leg! Theory ROCKS Lashley, runs, but into a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER! Rollins aims, ROLLING ELBOW! Then a turn and DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! Lashley is down and Rollins climbs up! FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Rollins is beside himself and Ziggler seems really intrigued now. Fans fire up as Lashley crawls, but Rollins anchors a foot! Hot tags to Theory and Riddle! Riddle rallies on Theory, dodges and POWERSLAMS! Riddle puts Theory in ropes, for a DRAPING DDT! Fans are thunderous as Riddle hears the voices, bro! Theory stands, but Rollins helps him bail out!

Fans boo as Theory and Rollins taunt Riddle, but Lashley SPEARS Rollins through the barriers!! Theory is shocked, and Riddle drags him up! Theory HOTSHOTS Riddle, gets Riddle up, but Riddle slips off! RK- NO, Theory shoves, rolls up, feet on the ropes and Ziggler shoves them off?!? Ziggler is here to keep things fair! And RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!! Cover, Riddle & Lashley win!!

Winners: Bobby Lashley & Matt Riddle, by pinfall

Seems Ziggler was a bro in disguise! Riddle and Lashley win thanks to Ziggler stopping the cheat from Theory! And then Ziggler SUPERKICKS Theory down!! He’s here to show the world something, but just what is his beef with the Golden Boy?

My Thoughts:

This was a pretty good episode of Raw, but much of it just felt slapped together. Advertising one match but then changing it, that always feels so strange to me. I remember them saying we’d get Theory VS Riddle and Lashley VS anyone in a US Championship Open Challenge, but that got changed into the main event we got instead. Granted, that was a very good tag match, and what a great surprise for Ziggler to not only show up, but to apparently be Face against Theory. Ziggler has had stories in the past where he was bitter against those getting opportunities, but I don’t know if this will be that. It’d make sense since Theory has been getting help from Vince, but I don’t know why this is happening now when we’re still on the road to SummerSlam, Theory VS Lashley and possible against the Universal Champion.

Lesnar’s opening segment was good, even if they didn’t really give us enough of Roman’s promo from SmackDown. Heyman of course had a good promo, and even Theory had a good one showing us the Elimination Chamber stuff. Lesnar destroying Alpha Academy was wild, but that’s probably the extent of it. I don’t see Gable and Otis wanting to do that again, kayfabe or otherwise.

Dawkins VS Jimmy Uso turning into the Six Man Tag was another interesting move, but I did like Truth’s bit in the promo, and if anyone is going to kiss up to The Bloodline on Raw, it is MVP and Omos. The Six Man was also a really good match, though, and Omos taking out Dawkins does preserve the math between Profits and Usos, but I was expecting Truth to take that loss. I do suppose Omos and Truth can have a short feud but it won’t change that Sami Zayn could be and should be the special guest referee. It is a refreshing thing to see Truth in a non 24/7 Championship related thing, but this probably won’t last, either.

As fun as making fun of The Miz’s nuts continues to be, I honestly don’t know why Styles isn’t feuding with Judgement Day like the Mysterios are. Shouldn’t Styles be more upset that Finn ditched him? Granted, Styles and Zeke had a great match against Miz and Ciampa, and it was a good win for Styles and Zeke, and a feud of any kind allows Miz to show up, communicate with Logan Paul through promos, and then lose because he stuck his foot in his mouth. But why couldn’t this feud have just been Zeke and Miz? Or more with Mustafa Ali and Miz?

As for Judgement Day, I suppose still pursuing Dom is fine, and Finn got a good win over Rey, but I can’t be sure which way this goes. I almost thought Dom was going to turn here, maybe that happens at SummerSlam. Hell, if Judgement Day gets a match at SummerSlam, is that when Edge returns? Because yeah, those vignettes are pointing to Edge even more obviously than before. Again, Styles should’ve been feuding with Judgement Day, even if it’d be weird for him and Edge to suddenly be on the same side of the feud. But in the feud we’re getting, if Dom joins up just as Edge is coming back, is Dom going to take the losses for the faction so Edge can build back up?

Of course Becky comes out to watch Bianca VS Mella, and she had a good promo to let us know if it wasn’t obvious that she’s getting that SummerSlam match. Bianca VS Mella for the title seemed like a throwaway thing, but given Becky made Bianca lose via count-out, there’s more heat for their match, but also I feel like they’re trying to shoehorn Mella in so she can take the loss to whoever. That doesn’t fell all that good to me, because there’s nothing saying Becky can’t continue to fight her way back, or that Bianca can’t fight her way back either. At the same time, Alexa and Asuka got a win in a good match with Piper & Nikki, so there’s half a chance either one of them is going to challenge next. I’m thinking more Alexa since she got back and we need to see more of this newest persona.

My Score: 8.2/10