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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (10/10/22)

Are you ready?

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WWE Raw 2022

No, no, I said… ARE! YOU! READYYYY!?

It’s the Raw Season Premiere, and WWE celebrates 25 YEARS of Degeneration X! Plus, The Tribal Chief leads his Bloodline as he prepares to SMASH Logan Paul at Crown Jewel!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Johnny Gargano VS Austin Theory; Gargano wins.
  • Rey Mysterio VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Rey wins.
  • Bayley VS Candice LeRae; Candice wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap: Omos w/ MVP VS Robert Adams & Joseph Torres; Omos wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Seth Rollins; Rollins wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • Sami Zayn w/ The Usos VS Matt Riddle; Riddle wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Degeneration X talks backstage.

HBK is with Road Dogg and X-Pac, and he asks them, “Are you ready?” Road Dogg is ready, is X-Pac ready? Yeah, X-Pac is ready. But the big question, is HHH ready? Oh, whoa, hold on. He gets off gorilla and says this isn’t just their 25th anniversary, but the season premiere of Raw. They can’t do their stuff anymore, this is about the sponsors and the business. They can go have fun, but no cussing, no genital jokes- PENIS! Can they say that? That’s what HHH means! Yeah, wtf, man? Bro! C’mon! HBK says HHH knows how this is gonna go. Sh*t’s gonna go down, it’s gonna get effin crazy! Enjoy it right the F now! Alright, alright! Just don’t F up.

HBK says he sees four cocks! They’re just chickens. HHH says we can’t do that anymore! Who put those there? Just grab a cock and- Nevermind, let’s go. Hey! No fighting! Damn it. HHH stops choking the chicken as he slams it, but will DX be okay without him out there with them?

 

The Bloodline is here!

To be fair, they were here last week. But this time, because it’s the Raw Season Premiere, they’re led by the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the Undisputed WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman Reigns! Roman and the Usos hold up the belts for the pyro and then the Bloodline continues to the ring. They then set up again, lifting the belts for the second round of pyro. Sami Zayn jams out to the theme song as Paul Heyman gets the mic. Fans boo Roman then chant for the Honorary Uce, but Heyman hands the mic to Roman. “Brooklyn, New York! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Fans do indeed cheer, but there are still some boos.

Roman says when the fans respond like that, he can’t lie, he has to be honest. Roman likes moving forward. When you’re the Greatest Of All Time, he’s looking to next week, he doesn’t live in the past. But Roman can’t get past last Friday for some reason. That brings Roman to something his father taught him a long time ago. Roman was taught “that the loudest in the room is also the weakest in the room.” So in his mind, if you’re the weakest, and you’re part of The Bloodline, then you’re just a fool. “Jey. Are you a fool?” Roman looks at Jey, who did shoot his mouth off at Logan Paul last week. Roman says they’ve done this a few times already, but-

Sami Zayn steps in! He hates to interrupt but… Heyman is furious! How can Sami interrupt the Tribal Chief?! But the fans are fired up, and Roman has Heyman stand down. Heyman apologizes and Sami continues. “It’s just that on Friday, you said that Jey Uso wasn’t your problem anymore, but that he’s my problem now. So as maybe the Honorary Uce, I’d love the opportunity to handle this whole situation.” Roman considers it, and smiles. Sami really is the Honorary Uce! He’s all yours, Sami, go ahead. Well okay! Roman steps aside and fans cheer Sami on as he looks at Jey. Here’s the thing, buddy. First off, we all love you. This is your family.

But the Tribal Chief and Sami were talking the other night, spit-balling about the future direction of the Bloodline, just some ideas. A really good talk, too, actually. They got into some personal stuff, Sami feels they connected. But anyway, that’s not important. The thing is, they feel Jey’s behavior lately, “Just hasn’t been very Uce-y.” What? Fans chant, “UCEY! UCEY!” Sami wants Jey to hear him out. Take a look around! Look at Jimmy! Who doesn’t love Jimmy? Fans cheer as Sami and Jimmy do the handshake! Look at that smile! And Solo! Look at him! Fans cheer for the Enforcer. He’s built like a brickhouse, looks all serious, but we all know he’s cool.

Sami says that’s kinda what he’s getting at. We’re all pretty cool, actually. So they just need Jey “to be cool.” Can he be cool? Jey looks at Roman and Roman says, “Don’t look at me.” But Jey still address Roman, “This is a joke, right?” Is this a rib? They’re family, Uce. Ain’t no way they can let Sami come here and tell Jey what to do! Sami says he hates to be this guy, but- “Bro…” Matt Riddle is headed out here? Riddle has a mic to say, “Why you guys talking about last Friday? You guys should be talking about this past Saturday, when I not only beat Seth Rollins, I tapped him out in the Fight Pit, bro!”

And Roman, Riddle knows he got beat before and there’s that stipulation where he can’t challenge for the title, but c’mon! One more time for New York! Let’s go! Brooklyn likes the sound of that! “BRO! BRO! BRO!” Roman and Heyman talk it over but Riddle says the people want it. Roman asks, “Brooklyn, should we give him one more chance tonight?” “YES!” Roman says, “Nah…!” A deal is a deal, bro! Get to the back of the line and stay there! Well then, if Roman’s not gonna step up to the plate, maybe one of his Bloodline bros will! Fans cheer for Sami here, and Jey agrees! Step up, Honorary Uce! Ain’t he the number 2 now? Step up! YEET!

Sami says yeah, yeet. He’ll yeet, dawg. Sami tells Riddle, “What is this? Do you think you’re funny or something?” “YEET.” Well okay, haha. But let’s explain something to Riddle. Riddle doesn’t say “Yeet.” THEY say YEET! YEET IS BLOODLINE! That’s their thing! Solo, Jey, Jimmy, Roman, uh… Yes, Heyman, too! And Sami! They can say YEET, but Sami doesn’t wanna hear Riddle ever say it again! Got it? Fans chant “YEET! YEET!” and Riddle says, “YEET.” Jey says that’s disrespect! What’s Sami gonna do? Is he gonna handle business? YES! He will! Sami says if Riddle wants ot run his mouth, then they can go 1v1 here tonight! Fans like the sound of that!

So what’s the tough guy gotta say about that?! “I accept. YEET!” Riddle still gets a fight with The Bloodline, but not quite the one he wanted. Will Riddle keep the momentum going from Extreme Rules? Or will the Honorary Uce handle his business and kick Riddle to the back of the back of the line?

 

Johnny Gargano VS Austin Theory!

Johnny Wrestling once showed the “Real Superstar” the way in the WWE, but the influence of a certain chairman inflated the ego of the now Youngest Mr. Money in the Bank Ever. Will Gargano humble his former protégé and once again show him the way? Or will the student become the master?

The bell rings and Theory rushes in to fireman’s carry! Gargano slips off and shows Superkick, which makes Theory fall back! Gargano rains down fists on Theory, Theory fights free but Gargano pursues to CHOP! And CHOP! Theory goes to a corner, Gargano CHOPS him again! Gargano follows Theory but Theory kicks low! Theory throws hands but Gargano dodges to CHOP again! Fans rally for “JOHNNY WRESTLING!” as Gargano stomps a mudhole into Theory. Fans fire up, Gargano storms back in to CHOP! Gargano whips corner to corner, Theory reverses but Gargano BOOTS back! Gargano goes up to FLYING RANA!

Theory staggers up, swings but misses, into the Schoolboy KICK! Theory bails out and Gargano brings him up. Theory grabs at Gargano but Gargano ROCKS Theory! And again! And again! Theory wobbles, Gargano slingshots, but Theory blocks the DDT! Theory fisherman’s the leg, APRON AOI SHOUDO! Gargano goes down and Raw goes to break!

Gargano writhes, Theory looms over him, the ring count climbs but Theory just leaves Gargano behind. Theory gets in at 6 of 10, Gargano stands at 8 but jumps in at 9! Theory rains down fists, then he TOSSES Gargano back out. Gargano crawls, Theory stalks him, and THROWS him into barriers! Theory drags Gargano up to THROW him into the timekeeper’s area! Theory sits on the barriers to take a selfie before going into the ring. Gargano stirs at 5 of 10, crawls his way around at 7, and hurries in at 9! Theory scoops Gargano for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Theory wraps on a chinlock and he grinds Gargano down.

Gargano endures, fans rally up, and Gargano fights up to throw body shots. Gargano runs, but into a BIG elbow! Theory struts over to stand over Gargano. Theory drags Gargano up, snapmares him and stomps him down! Cover, TWO! Theory sits Gargano up to wrap on a chinlock again. Theory grinds Gargano down, but Gargano fights up to throw body shots. Theory knees low! And CLUBS Gargano down! Theory suplexes, Gargano slips out and he ROCKS Theory with forearm after forearm! Gargano runs, into a BOOT! But he comes back with a ROLLING ELBOW! Both men are down as Raw returns to single picture!

Fans rally as a standing count starts. Theory and Gargano stand, Gargano throws big forearms! Gargano whips, Theory reverses but Gargano CROSSBODIES! And then he clotheslines and ENZIGURIS! Theory goes to a corner, Gargano DOUBLE KNEES him! Gargano goes corner to corner but Theory puts him on the apron. Gargano SLINGSHOT SPEARS! Cover, TWO! Theory bails out, Gargano builds speed, but Theory slide sin. Gargano hurries back to the apron, SLINGSHOT into a FOREARM! Theory hurries to pump handle COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO!! Theory is furious but Gargano is still in this!

Theory says he has surpassed Gargano, and he rains down fists. Theory drags Gargano up, ROCKS him again, then storms up. Gargano ROCKS Theory and fans rally, but Theory ROCKS Gargano back. Gargano ROCKS Theory, they both throw forearms! And again! Gargano fakes Theory out, mule kick! But Theory ducks the Buzzsaw to fireman’s carry! A-TOWN, NO! Schoolboy, but Theory ducks the kick! Theory steals the GargaNO Escape!! Gargano endures, rolls it to a cover, TWO!! Gargano dodges Theory, tilt-o-whirl takedown! GargaNO Escape!! Gargano has Theory now, Theory endures, but he rolls it around and scoops Gargano!

Theory shakes his head, pops Gargano up, but Gargano slips off! Theory SUPERKICKS first! Theory is fuming, he rains down fists and shouts, “I told you! I am the man!” Fans boo as Theory aims from the apron. Theory slingshots, but into a SUPERKICK! Gargano sends Theory out of the ring! Fans fire up as Gargano DIVES for a TORNADO DDT!! Gargano puts Theory back in, drags himself up to the apron, and he slingshots again, ONE FINAL BEAT!! Cover, Gargano wins!!

Winner: Johnny Gargano, by pinfall

And that’s the way to do it! Johnny Wrestling gets another great win in Brooklyn, will Gargano get a golden opportunity soon enough?

 

Rey Mysterio VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!

The King of Lucha is doing his best to move on from Dominik Mysterio leaving his side, throwing hate his way, and sticking with The Judgement Day. Can Rey put the pieces back together? Or will The Alpha Academy pick him apart like vultures?

The bell rings and Rey circles with Gable. They tie up, Gable waistlocks, spins, wrenches and wristlocks. Rey wrenches, wristlocks, but Gable spins through to headlock, spin and drop toehold! “A THANK YEW~!” Gable has the armlock then shifts to a headlock. Rey throws body shots, powers out, but Gable runs him over! “A THANK YEW~!” Gable and Rey speed up, Gable body scissors to roll and clutch, TWO! Gable hits a headlock takeover and he grinds Rey down. Rey endures, fights up, but Gable wrenches. Gable whips but Rey KICKS him! Rey runs, dodges Gable, then dodges again to RANA! Gable tumbles out and fans fire up!

Gable and Otis regroup but Rey runs in to dropkick Gable down! Rey builds speed to slide and SUNSET BOMB Gable into barriers! Fans fire up for Rey but oh no! Here comes the Judgement Day! Rhea Ripley & Dominik Mysterio walk out on stage, and Rhea wears a mocking “tribute armband” for Beth Phoenix! They’re already in Rey’s head, will Rhea & Dom do something to him? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and Gable has Rey up top! Rey fights Gable off and knocks him down, to then SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, he tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Gable goes to a corner, Rey runs in but Gable dodges. Rey goes up, jumps back but Gable catches Rey to an Electric Chair and SLAM! Then a deadlift GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Rey escapes but Gable snarls. Gable drags Rey back up, waistlocks again but Rey elbows free. Rey runs, wheelbarrows, then victory rolls! But Gable rolls through to ANKLE LOCK! Rey flounders, reaches out, rolls and he kicks away at Gable! But Gable holds onto the hold!

Rey rolls and POSTS Gable! Gable flops out of the ring, and then Rey PLANCHAS, but Otis catches him! Otis pops Rey around, but Rey slips off to POST Otis! Rey stares down Dom & Rhea, then shoulders into Gable! Rey slingshots but Gable turns it into an Alabama, but Rey RANAS free! Gable is on the ropes, Rey dials it up, 619! SPLASH! Cover, Rey wins!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

A great rebound win for Rey, but now Dom & Rhea get on the apron. Rey shakes his head, but Dom dares him to do something. Rey refuses, but Rhea stands in Rey’s way. Rey turns back to Dom, and Dom wants Rey to hit him! Rey pushes and shoves Rey! “You gotta hit me! It’s gotta be now!” Rey refuses, and he puts his hands behind his back. So Dom SLAPS Rey! Dom wants Rey to hit him back! Rhea laughs as she watches Rey’s torment. Dom drops to his knees, Rey runs, but past Dom to DECK Priest! Rey knew the rest of Judgement Day was coming! Rey dodges Finn and tilt-o-whirls him into Dom! Rey DROPKICKS Priest, then drop toeholds Finn onto ropes!

Fans fire up and Rey dials it up, but Dom CLOBBERS Rey!! Fans boo Dom but he doesn’t care. Dom looms over his own father, and still dares him to hit back! Fans chant, “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” at Dom, but Rey refuses to fight his son. Rey asks Dom, “Why? Why, Dom?!” Dom says it has to happen! It has to happen!! Rey doesn’t understand, but he’s in tears as he turns away. So Dom CLOBBERS Rey! Rhea holds Rey on the ropes and Dom gives some Latino Heat. Dom dials it up, to 619!! Dom hits his father with his own signature move that he passed down to Dom! Is there no low the Judgement Day won’t stoop to?

 

Raw returns to The Judgement Day in the ring.

After all the damage Dom had done to him physically and emotionally, Rey was left in tears as he clutched his battered body. But Rhea laughs as she has the mic. “Like I’ve said every single week since you peasants can’t get it through your thick skulls… The Judgement Day: we RUN Monday Night Raw!” Priest laughs because the fans hate to hear the truth! Every single person that steps to the Judgement Day falls! All the way, the Judgement Day continues to rise. But y’know what? Let’s talk about something more important: Finn Balor handled business at Extreme Rules! Finn says, “Like I’ve said before, when you come at Finn, you best not miss.”

“So to all the people who were cheering and partying and celebrating Edge’s miracle return to the ring after a nine year absence, here’s the cold hard truth: I ended the party. I stopped the celebration. I’m the one who pissed on y’all’s parade!” Finn made Edge say the words, “I QUIT!” Yes! Finn made Edge say those words! Hey, Dom, what’d Edge say? “Edge said, ‘I quit.'” Hey, Priest. What’d he make Edge do? Finn made Edge quit! That’s right! And do you know why? Because Balor is too legit to quit! And y’know what? Have you seen it? Let’s watch it! A replay package shows Finn VS Edge in their I Quit match, but in the end, Finn wasn’t alone! Though, neither was Edge!

Rey tried to help Edge beat Finn but Dom beat down Rey. Beth Phoenix tried to help her husband, Edge, but Rhea Ripley knocked her out with BRASS KNUCKLES! And when Edge still refused, the Judgement Day threatened Beth! Edge said those two dreaded words, giving Finn the win. But then Rhea showed no mercy and still hit Beth with a Con-Chair-To!! “You taught us too well!” Back in the present, The Judgement Day is smiling but the fans are booing. Rhea says that brings a tear to her eye. “The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix. Hah! What a joke! Beth, what I did to you was just a glimpse of what I’m capable of.”

Dom says watching Rhea in action, well, y’know… Fans boo but Finn tells them to shut up! They’re all just jealous anyway! Dom says watching Rhea in action, smacking Edge’s wife with that chair, “did it for me. And I know that it did it for all of you as well.” And Dom’s favorite part, other than 619’ing his own dad, was seeing the pathetic and devastated look on Rey’s face. Rey deserves to feel as useless and as helpless as he’s made Dom feel his entire life! Finn pats Dom on the shoulder and says that’s right. Which brings us to “Uncle Alan Styles.” Finn tells AJ that he better have reconsidered things, because Finn has all but run out of mercy.

Finn is here tonight to offer an ultimatum. Styles- APPEARS! Styles has a mic to say, “Finn, as long as we’ve known each other, it’s come down to this? An ultimatum?” Finn says Styles has made this harder than it needed to be. Finn, hold on. Styles isn’t here to argue. Oh? Styles says Finn is right. Everything that he ever needed was standing right in front of him. Styles has been alone for far too long. There comes a time in a man’s life when he needs friends. In Styles’ case, he needs family! So for the first time since they met in Japan to right here now in the WWE, is Styles not his brother’s keeper? Styles kneels before Finn!?

Fans boo but Finn offers a hand. Styles takes it and he stands back up. They hug! The Phenomenal One is now in the Judgment Day?! Finn is so proud! He knew Styles would come around. But then Styles says, “I wasn’t talking about you.” WHAT!?! WHAT?!?! The GOOD BROTHERS, Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows, are BACK!! Finn is freaking out as The Machine Gun and Big Doc LG are here, and Brooklyn is losing their minds! Finn says this is BS, and Dom says this is a big mistake! But Gallows DECKS Dom! The brawl is on! Styles is after Finn, Gallows has Priest and Anderson has Dom! Rhea BOOTS Anderson, but Gallows clotheslines Priest out!

Finn and Styles are alone, having it out in the ring! Priest sends Gallows into steps, Anderson ROCKS Dom, Styles fires off the Blitz! Finn bails out and wants a timeout, but Styles TACKLES Finn over the desk! Gallows SMACKS Priest with a chair! Anderson DECKS Dom! Brooklyn is loving this as Gallows DECKS Priest over the barriers! Things spill out to the crowd but the Judgement Day slips away! All except Finn. Finn sees he’s surrounded, he runs for it! He slips away but it is clear the OC is back!

 

Byron Saxton has a sit-down interview with Bayley.

The Role Model is NOT Raw Women’s Champion, and Byron asks her if she considers what happened at Extreme Rules to be “a setback in Damage Control’s plan to take control of the Women’s Division?” Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky are there, and Kai handles this. “Setback? You wanna talk about setbacks, why do you think Bayley brought me with her to SummerSlam?” Kai was at rock bottom, and Bayley was the only one to extend a hand. Dakota dares, hopes and prays that anyone tries to do anything to hurt DMG CTRL, because Dakota will do anything to hurt them. Can anyone say the same about Asuka, Alexa Bliss or Bianca Belair?

Iyo says something in Japanese and Kai agrees. “These women have no idea what Iyo and I would do for Bayley!” When Bayley gets her rematch, they will punish Bianca until Bayley is holding the gold! Iyo does not like Bianca, Asuka or Alexa! Bayley is going to kick Candice LeRae’s ass and nothing will stop her! DMG CTRL heads out, will the Poison Pixie be punished for The EST simply defending her title?

 

Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman & Solo Sikoa are heading out.

Roman says that was pretty good, and Heyman agrees. But Jey asks what’s going on. Where’re they going? Jey wants to talk to him about tonight. Roman says he doesn’t have time for that. The Wise Man got them set up in a pad tonight and they’re gonna do New York! But the Usos are staying here with Sami. Wherever Sami is, Jey & Jimmy should be. In fact, since Jey will be here, he needs to make sure the Honorary Uce wins tonight. Can Jey do that? Yeet. Okay, then. Let’s go, Solo. No, no, Solo’s with Roman tonight. Oh… Heyman shrugs and gets in the SUV with Roman and Solo. They head out, will the Usos & Sami be alright on their own?

 

Bayley VS Candice LeRae!

The Role Model isn’t Raw Women’s Champion, but not for lack of trying. Kai & Sky did help her in the Ladder Match, but not even all three of them could stop the strongEST, fastEST, toughEST, and roughEST in the WWE. Will Bayley just take out all her frustrations on Candice Wrestling? Or will the Poison Pixie prove she’s deserving of her own opportunities?

The bell rings and the two circle. Bayley kicks low, CLUBS and ROCKS Candice, then RAMS her into a corner! Bayley stomps a mudhole, whips Candice to ropes, but Candice reverses. Bayley runs Candice over, covers, ONE! Bayley is upset already but she drags Candice up. Candice arm-drags free! And then arm-drags again! And drop toeholds! Bayley crawls but Candice dropkicks her down! Candice then runs to hit a NECK SNAPPER! Jackknife bridge, TWO! Candice drags Bayley up but Bayley throws body shots. Bayley throws Candice out to the apron, but Candice avoids the shoulder to KNEE low!

Bayley clutches ribs, Candice climbs up and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Bayley bails out but Candice keeps her focus as Raw goes picture in picture.

Bayley winces, still feeling every bit of the ladder match. Candice WRECKS her with a dropkick! Candice goes out to bring Bayley up and in, then hurries to cover, TWO! Bayley hurries to bail out again, and Candice goes out after her. But Bayley FLAPJACKS Candice into the post! Bayley puts Candice in then drags her to the corner. Bayley SLAMS the leg against the post! Candice clutches her knee but Bayley drags her to a cover, TWO! Bayley stomps Candice around, drags her onto the ropes, and CHOKES her! The ref counts, Bayley lets off, and Bayley mocks “Mama Wrestling.” Bayley stomps Candice then digs her boots in!

The ref counts, Bayley lets off, and Bayley soaks up the heat. Bayley puts Candice’s leg around the ropes to pull! The ref counts, Bayley lets off and she snap suplexes Candice down. Cover, TWO! Bayley drags Candice around to knee her in the back. Bayley shouts at fans, pushes Candice over and stomps away on the bad leg. Bayley drags Candice around by that leg, but Candice hops up to ENZIGURI the bad arm! Bayley staggers but Candice cradles! TWO! Bayley rushes in but into a roll-up! TWO! Candice ROCKS Bayley and Raw returns to single picture. Bayley comes back but Candice ROCKS her again and again!

Candice CHOPS and ROCKS over and over in the corner! Fans fire up as Candice fires off! The ref counts, Candice lets off and she back body blocks! Candice snapmares Bayley, to then step up SENTON! And then basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Candice shakes out the bad leg, fans rally up, and Candice drags Bayley up. Bayley RAMS Candice in a corner! But Candice BOOTS back! Candice hops up but Bayley shoves her down! Candice is in a Tree of Woe and Bayley tortures the legs! Bayley drags Candice out of the corner, KNEE-DT! And then a ROSE PLA- CRADLE?! Candice wins!!

Winners: Candice LeRae, by pinfall

Bayley is shocked and furious, but Candice gets away! Bayley couldn’t get redemption but Kai & Sky get revenge! They CLOBBER Candice, beat her down, and put her back in the ring! Iyo underhooks and lifts, Dakota SUPERKICKS Candice into the TIGER BACKBREAKER! Bayley and Sky stand on Candice, but here comes Bianca! She DECKS Kai but Bayley BOOTS her! Bayley sets Bianca up, DROPKICK BOOT SANDWICH on the apron! And then Bayley hits a RUNNING KNEE on Candice! Fans boo but DMG CTRL stands tall. Kai & Sky bring Bianca around, Bayley hits a MACHO ELBOW on Bianca on the belt!

Fans boo even more, but DMG CTRL stands tall and Bayley shouts, “This is what a real damn team looks like!” Will these three soon control the Raw Women’s Division?

 

The Miz meets up with Maryse backstage.

O M G she looks incredible. But this can’t be a good idea, right? They both know “He Who Shall Not Be Named” is going to show, right? Maryse has Miz calm down. They can’t let some lunatic ruin his party after Maryse worked on it for many months. And here’s a little something. Oh, his first gift of the night! He opens it up, and it’s a Louisville Slugger! They both kiss, but will Miz’s bad feeling become a reality?

 

Raw returns to Maryse in the ring.

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is such a special night because we get to celebrate the birthday of my husband. So please help me welcome The Awesome One, The Miz!” The Hollywood A-Lister makes his entrance, showing off his brand new baseball bat, and he joins Maryse in the ring. There’s gold and silver balloons and presents, and even a Miz ice sculpture! Miz tells Maryse she outdid herself! She spent so much money! Do you know how expensive ice sculpture is? Or how expensive that bat is? Read it! It’s signed by the best deep ball hitter ever! Cleveland’s Jose Ramirez! Oh, sorry, did you expect him to say Aaron Judge?

You New Yorkers love Judge! You think he’s the best in MLB! Well here’s something Miz will explain to you: If you think having the best player in the league is enough to win championships, here’s two words for you: KEVIN DURANT. The fans boo but Maryse says to ignore them. Miz, open a gift. Any gift? Yes, any gift! He unveils the MASSIVE BALLS! O M G, this is perfect! Two massive Miz balls to go with his big giant bat! He loves them! He wants more gifts! Yes, go with the big one next! Sweet! Which one is the big one? Hold his bat. There, the middle. Fans taunt Miz for his “TINY BALLS! TINY BALLS!”

Miz tunes them out and pick sup the box. Wow, it’s heavy. IT HAS LUMIS’ HEAD!!! Miz sees Lumis, then puts the box back on! To then BASH away on the boxes!! But Miz missed Lumis every time! Then where is he?! Lumis slithers in from the other direction! And he wraps Miz in the SILENCE!! Maryse tries to save Miz but he almost kicks her into the cake! Maryse gets back, up but then he DOES kick her into the cake! Miz flails, slips free, and RUNS! He just leaves Maryse behind!? Maryse cleans herself up but Lumis looks right at her! Maryse turns around, and then she bails out! Maryse storms off, and Lumis grabs a knife!

Lumis goes over to the big balls, and POPS THEM! And then fans chant, “EAT THE CAKE!” Lumis cuts himself a slice, and has some cake! Is it good? More importantly, will we ever understand why Lumis is after The Miz?

 

DX talk with some local talent backstage.

What’re these guys’ names? Joey Ace and Chico! Well, okay. Get those biceps going, keep the blood flowing. Go out there and give it to Omos! There’s two of you, one of him, you’ve got this! Go, boys, go! Haze & Chico head out and HBK admits, those two are dead. But then Miz storms in and asks where HHH went! Miz is so sick of that lunatic! Look what he did to his massive… gifts! Can DX get some cake? Are you serious?! HBK says Lumis may not be a Marine, but he’s a good guy. He doesn’t just go after anyone. Miz had to do something to anger him. Miz did nothing to this guy! NOTHING! But Miz will do anything to get rid of him

Oh, anything? Yes, anything! Well then… Next week, Miz VS Lumis, 1v1! If Miz wins, Lumis is gone forever. But if Miz loses, Lumis gets those enormous gifts. And also a contract with WWE. But still. Does Miz have the balls? Oh, it’s on! Oooh~! Okay! Wait, since when did Road Dogg become a booker? He’s pretty sure he can do that. Will HHH approve of this high stakes showdown?

 

2v1 Handicap: Omos w/ MVP VS Robert Adams & Joseph Torres!

The Nigerian Giant comes to Brooklyn, will he storm through it like Godzilla? Or will “Chico” and “Joey Ace” manage to bring the monster down with DX’s encouragement?

The bell rings and Omos BOOTS Ace! Chico is stunned, then tries to run! Omos drags him back into the ring, scoops him, and gives him SNAKE EYES! Omos runs to CLOBBER Chico! MVP says, “Let ’em know!” Omos suplexes Ace and holds him up with one arm, before the TOSS! MVP cheers Omos on and Omos grabs Ace. Chico jumps on but Omos just CLOBBERS Ace all the same! And then he RAMS Chico in the other corner, before he CLOBBERS Ace again! Double choke grips, DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS!! Omos snarls and he stands on Chico to pin, Omos wins!

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

MVP raises Omos’ hand in victory, but the devastation isn’t over! MOUNTAINTOP SLAM for Ace! MOUNTAINTOP SLAM for Chico! MVP says that’s good, and they head out. Will Omos leave nothing but destruction in his wake as he heads back towards a title?

 

WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Seth Rollins!

The All Mighty technically owes Matt Riddle for helping him keep this title after The Visionary tried to steal it away. But after an ambush attack last week, Lashley is more than willing to give Rollins another shot if it means another chance for Lashley to put the Hurt Lock on Rollins. Will Rollins even be up to this title fight after the brutality that was unleashed inside the Fight Pit?

Before the match, Lashley gets the mic. “Brooklyn! I say this every week: I’m gonna be a fighting champion for all of you! And at this point, I’ve beaten some of the best of this business. I’ve been names like Drew McIntyre, Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar, and now I have Seth Rollins who thinks that’s okay to come and sneak me because he didn’t feel he had a fair shot at my United States Championship-” WAIT. That’s not Rollins! That’s BROCK LESNAR!! The Beast is in Brooklyn and fans are going nuts! Lesnar has his pyro, he goes to the ring, and after getting the fans pumped up, he grabs the mic and stares down Lashley.

“Well holy SH*T! Good evening, Brooklyn. And good evening, Bobby Lashley.” FIREMAN’S CARRY! F5!!! Fans lose their minds again as The Beast just levels the All Mighty! Fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” and Lesnar obliges! Waistlock and GERMAN SUPLEX! And then another fireman’s carry, for another F5!! Fans still want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Lashley manages to sit up, and Lesnar just picks him up! For a KIMURA!!! Lashley flails but not even tapping out would save him since this isn’t a match! Lesnar lets go once the damage is done, and he takes his leave. The Beast is back, but what about the US title match?

 

Raw returns as refs check Lashley.

They want him to go to the back to get checked by medical, but Seth Rollins makes his entrance! Rollins is beaten and battered, too, so he must think this is fair and square now! Rollins wants Lashley to get in but the refs are saying Lashley shouldn’t. Rollins wants his fight NOW, and dares Lashley to get in here! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHHH~!” as Rollins keeps demanding a fight. Lashley clutches the arm and Rollins gets the mic. “HEY! I know you can hear me! You’re not gonna get outta this title match that easy! Bobby, I want the match, and I want it right now! You said you were a fighting champion!”

Isn’t Lashley a fighter? Isn’t he a champion? Isn’t he a soldier?! But he’s not! He’s a DISGRACE to the US title! And to his country! Lashley’s pissed now! Lashley storms up to the ring, even with one good arm, and he pops it back into place! The refs keep telling him now, but Lashley tells them to ring the damn bell! Well, then here goes!

WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Seth Rollins!

The bell rings, and Lashley SPEARS into a PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!!! Rollins hurries up top while Lashley’s still down! FROG SPLASH!! The bad ribs slow Rollins down, Rollins manages to cover, TWO!! Both men writhe in pain from their damaged bodies, but Rollins manages to stand up first. Rollins lines up his shot, runs in from the corner, CURB- NO, Lashley dodges! Lashley runs to SPEAR!! But Lashley can’t cover from the pain in his bad arm! Rollins flounders from the pain in his ribs, but he stands up, into a half nelson! But the bad arm keeps the full nelson from finishing! Rollins CLUBS away on the bad arm, then he ROLLING ELBOWS!

Lashley wobbles, into a SUPERKICK! Rollins spins, DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! Rollins runs and PENALTY KICKS the bad arm! Rollins aims from the corner again, he runs in and CURB STOMPS!! Fans are torn but fired up as Rollins revels in it all! “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins tells Lashley to get up again, and then he runs in to CURB STOMP AGAIN!!! Cover, Rollins wins!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall (NEW WWE United States Champion)

Brock Lesnar did the damage, but Seth Freakin’ Rollins takes the gold! Will Lashley look for revenge on The Visionary who beat him? Or on The Beast who beat him down?

 

Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.

Byron realizes he’s emotional right now- Emotional? He’s PISSED! What Brock did was unforgiveable! Lesnar came in, and now Rollins is champion? Lashley isn’t done with Rollins, he’ll come back for that title. But first is Lesnar. Lashley will beat the hell out of Lesnar once he gets a chance! Lashley challenges Lesnar to show up next week so that the Beast can be exposed as nothing “but a little b*tch!” The All Mighty’s wrath has been awoken, but will he be able to tear down Suplex City?

 

Knock knock.

A rather glitchy message from Bray Wyatt plays. “I used to live in the prison inside my head. It was the only place that I could ever truly be free. Revel in what you are. REVEL IN WHAT YOU ARE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! REVEL IN WHAT YOU ARE!!! HAHAHAHAHA…! Revel in what you are.” What does all of this mean?

 

Sami Zayn w/ The Usos VS Matt Riddle!

The Honorary Uce is riding pretty high after the ego boosts he’s been getting from The Tribal Chief accepting him into The Bloodline and then appointing him above the Usos. Will Sami be riding high after a win over The Bro? Or will that Fight Pit victory lead Riddle to another big win in the chase for some gold?

Raw returns and Sami makes his entrance, the Usos right behind him. The bell rings and the two tie up. Sami headlocks, Riddle powers out but Sami runs him over. Sami holds up the finger, #WeTheOnes, and fans sing “Ole~ ole ole ole~! Ole~, Ole~!” for Sami. Sami and Riddle tie up again, Sami headlocks again, but Riddle powers up and out again. Things speed up and Riddle KICKS Sami down! Riddle then KNEES Sami in the side! Sami goes to ropes but Riddle KICKS him in the corner. Riddle ROCKS Sami, whips him to ropes, then CLOBBERS Sami! Cover, TWO! Riddle stays on Sami with a chinlock and leans on the hold.

Sami endures, fights up, and fans duel. Sami arm-drags free, things speed up and Sami CLOBBERS Riddle now! Cover, ONE! Sami throws hands on Riddle at the ropes, then CHOKES him on the ropes! The ref counts, Sami lets off at 4, and Jey goes up to BOOT Riddle back in! Sami is a bit perplexed, and he says, “You told me to handle this, right? I’m handling it. I’m handling it. I don’t need your help.” Fans chant “UCEY!” at Jey but then Riddle throws Sami out! Riddle goes up and out and PENALTY- NO, Sami dodges to trip up Riddle! Sami then ARABIAN PRESSES Riddle down! Fans fire up while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Sami drags Riddle up to bump off buckles. Sami bumps Riddle more, and Riddle flounders away. Sami hops up and leaps to AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! Sami goes up the corner again, leaps, and Riddle dodges to spin Sami around! PELE! Sami falls over and both men are down! Fans rally up and Jey shouts at Sami to get up! Riddle and Sami stir, Riddle throws palm strike after palm strike and BOOTS! Sami rebounds, but into a BROSPLODER! PENALTY KICK! BROTON! But Sami flounders away to avoid the cover. Riddle forearms in the corner, runs in, but into a scoop and MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!!

Riddle survives and Sami is frustrated. Jey is pacing but Sami goes to a corner and climbs up. Sami aims but Riddle gets up there to join him! Sami flails and throws body shots to stop the cutter! Sami HEADBUTTS Riddle down! Sami leaps, but into a FINAL FLASH! Cover, TWO!! Riddle is beside himself as Sami survives! Jey shouts at Sami to get up, but fans rally for “SAMI USO!” Riddle climbs up a corner but Sami goes after him. Riddle elbows Sami away, reaches the top, but Sami trips him up! Riddle tumbles to the mat, but Sami claims he needs to be checked on. But then Jey rushes in! Sami stops Jey from attacking Riddle!

Sami says he doesn’t need Jey’s help, but Riddle rolls Sami! TWO!!! Sami escapes but runs into a headscissors that sends him out the ring! FLOATING BRO ATTACK! Fans fire up and so does Riddle as Raw goes picture in picture!

Riddle looms over Sami while staring down the Usos. The Usos back up, Riddle puts Sami in the ring, and Riddle KICKS Sami! And KICKS! And KICKS! Sami wobbles as Riddle KICKS him more and more! Riddle powers up, takes aim, but Sami ducks! Roll up, but Riddle rolls through to BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO! Sami is still in this and Riddle grows frustrated. Riddle hobbles over, drags Sami up and hauls him to the top rope. Riddle CHOPS Sami, climbs up after him, and he throws big forearms! Riddle then climbs to the very top, but Sami throws body shots! They brawl, Riddle ROCKS Sami but Sami CLUBS away on Riddle!

Sami adjusts, to SUPER SUNSET BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives and Sami can’t believe it! Jimmy coaches Sami up and Sami grits his teeth. Sami drags himself up the ropes, drags Riddle up and clinches, but Riddle fights the exploder! Sami CLUBS away on Riddle, then tries again! But Riddle hits a JUMPING TRIANGLE! Sami is caught as Riddle squeezes tight! Sami is turning red, but he reaches out with a hand! And then a leg! ROPEBREAK! Riddle lets go at 4 but  he calls upon those voices in his head, bro! Riddle aims as Sami rises, RK- NO! Sami powers out, Raw returns to single picture as things speed up, DOUBLE LARIATS take both men down!

The Usos are stressing out but Sami sits up. Sami throws hands on Riddle but Riddle gives them back. They go back and forth, fans rally up, and Riddle gets the edge. Riddle runs, but into a BOOT! Sami runs, but Riddle dodges to ripcord and FINAL FLASH! Sami goes to a corner, Riddle runs in, but Sami clinches! EXPLODER into the corner! Sami hurries to the other end, fans fire up for the HELL- POWERSLAM!! Riddle brings that one outta nowhere, and speaking of The Viper, Riddle drags Sami in through ropes! But Sami THROWS Riddle out! Sami has the ref check him again, but now he expects the Usos to do something? He did tell Jey to stand down.

Sami goes out to fetch Riddle, but Riddle KICKS him first! The Usos step but Jey tells Jimmy to stay back. This is what Sami wants, right? Riddle KICKS away on Sami! Sami gets in the ring, Jey likes that, but Sami ducks a kick for BLUE- NO! RKO!!! Cover, Riddle wins!!

Winner: Matt Riddle, by pinfall

That’s not what Roman wanted for the Honorary Uce! But Jey says it’s okay, Sami said he wanted to handle business on his own. The Usos check on Sami as he gets out of the ring, who will take the blame for this one?

 

Are you ready?!

The theme song is back, “BREAK IT DOWN!” And riding in on a Jeep, it’s DEGENERATION X, including HHH! They fire the cannon, just like back in the days of the Monday Night War! HHH, HBK, X-Pac & Road Dogg head to the ring, throwing glowsticks to the fans. They get in the ring, form up, and as the fans get louder, they CROTCH CHOP!! X-Pac asks Brooklyn to make a little noise! And a quick shout out to the missing magic ingredient, the Ninth Wonder of the World, CHYNA!

Road Dogg wants to see who remembers this: “Lllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. Tonight, De-Geriatric X proudly brings to you one half of the seven-time WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOORLD~! The Road Dogg, Jessie James!” Fans take care of saying, “The Ass Man, Billy Gunn!” “The New! Age! OUTLAWS!” HHH says it smells funny in here. X-Pac says it smells good! Is that Dogg or the fans? No, that’s gas. But it has been 25 YEARS! Who was here watching them at the beginning? Many fans cheer, and HHH says not all of these people are THAT old. 25 YEARS! HBK doesn’t feel so bad now.

25 years IS a long time. But right now, HHH just has one thing he wants to know: “Are you ready? No, Brooklyn, I said! ARE! YOU! READYYY?!” Fans cheer because they are! “Then… For the thousands in attendance. For the millions watching at home. And for 25 years, we would like to say thank you and we love you all. Hold on, I gotta catch my breath first. Woo~. All right.” Dogg wishes HHH gave him that opportunity. “Llllllllllllllllet’s get ready to SUCK IIIIIIIIT~!” HBK says, “And as we’ve said 25 glorious years of Degeneration X… But I’m gonna put all of us out there right now here on the spot.” Fans chant for “HBK! HBK!”

HBK wants us to promise, if we’re somehow all back here 25 years from now, put them outta their miseries! “And if you ain’t down with that, we got two words for ya!” “SUCK IT!!” Fans will never forget this team! DX then, now and, well, maybe not forever, but here’s to 25 years to close the Raw season premiere!


My Thoughts:

An awesome episode for not just the Raw that follows a PPV but also the “season premiere.” Granted, the DX celebration was just a fun closing segment, DX also had a lot of fun in other segments, like setting up those poor jobbers against Omos and that really wacky opening where we actually get to see HHH sitting at the desk at gorilla. But HHH did have a point, this isn’t the Attitude Era, he’s also the boss now, they can’t get as wild as they used to. They had a good part with The Miz, too, after a great segment from Miz, Maryse and Lumis. I guess they’re maintaining the kayfabe that Lumis was released and hasn’t been rehired, so you gotta think Lumis is going to win next week so he can be a WWE superstar in canon.

Great match from Gargano and Theory, even though it feels really soon to be doing this one. Gargano winning is great, but I’m wondering where this goes from here. Rey VS Gable was a great match, but of course Judgement Day goes after him once again. This has been the most emotional I’ve seen Rey, this is a really interesting move. And then what’s wilder is that Styles has Gallows & Anderson back! I’m pretty sure Anderson is still NJPW’s NEVER Openweight Champion and he is in the middle of setting up his title match with Hikuleo, but I guess this is a clear sign that he’ll be losing that belt to say good-bye to NJPW again. Maybe. And either way, this is definitely to set up Survivor Series: WarGames, Judgement Day VS The OC.

Good promo from Damage Control, and very good match from Candice and Bayley. A great surprise that Candice won, but I’m thinking she’s going to be joining Bianca’s side as we get closer to Survivor Series: WarGames. Bayley wants another shot, she probably will get that title match, and I would think Bayley wins that to “vindicate” herself, and then we get a tiebreaker at the Royal Rumble or even WrestleMania, depending on how they rotate in enemies and allies. There’s also the women’s tag titles, so maybe Candice teams with Alexa Bliss while Asuka is kayfabe hurt with the bad knee, and we also bring in SmackDown’s Shotzi & Raquel.

Brock Lesnar showing up was wild because no one had any whiff of that happening until I think today. Everyone thought the return was “soon,” but they didn’t think this soon. Lesnar basically screwing Lashley out of the US title was an interesting way to get us a rematch of Lesnar VS Lashley, but it’s not like Lesnar VS Lashley needed the title. Plus, Rollins getting the US title fits what I’ve been feeling, and that is adding the title to his feud with Cody Rhodes. Cody returns, wins the US title, and he completes his Homelander cosplay in time for WrestleMania. Fans may want/expect Cody to go for the top title, but he probably has to wait until the plans for WrestleMania: Hollywood play out. And Cody’s never held the US title, so checking that off the list would mean him becoming Universal Champion makes him a WWE Grand Slam Champion, a huge crowning achievement for Cody’s return.

And of course, amazing stuff out of The Bloodline, the layers of this story are like an onion. It was also a nice continuation from Logan Paul stirring it up on SmackDown. Sami is getting a big head over being The Honorary Uce and it cost him with Riddle. Jey was told by Roman to make sure Sami won, but clearly that didn’t get back to Sami, and now we’ll have to wait and see this Friday who Roman gets mad at.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

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No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (4/18/24)

Time to Man Up!

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Will the Ivy League MVP earn a title shot?

The NEW ROH World Champion, Mark Briscoe, is here to step onto the Proving Ground with one of Maria Kanellis’ baby boys, Griff Garrison! Will Griff make Maria proud? Or will he reach for the sky?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo; Keith wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Lance Archer & The Righteous VS Jon Cruz, Savion Truitt & Damian Chambers; Archer & The Righteous win.
  • Lee Johnson VS JD Drake; Lee wins.
  • Abadon VS Allysin Kay; Abadon wins.
  • The Infantry VS The Iron Savages w/Jacked Jameson; The Infantry wins.
  • Six Woman Tag: Diamante, Leila Grey & Taya Valkyrie VS Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora; Kiera, Leyla & Adora win.
  • The Beast Mortos VS Nick Comoroto; Mortos wins.
  • Lady Frost VS Marti Belle; Frost wins.
  • The Dark Order VS Zak Patterson & Frank Milano; The Dark Order wins.
  • ROH World Championship Proving Ground Match: Mark Briscoe VS Griff Garrison w/ Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis; Mark wins and denies Griff a title match.

PLAY BY PLAY

Mark Briscoe speaks.

“Now House of Black, I’ve been doing this dance with y’all a little while now, and I’m starting to understand how y’all operate. Starting to understand y’all’s M-O. You try to intimidate me. You try to strike fear into the hearts of men. Well I done told you, I fear no man, I fear no evil. And ancient wisdom says the violent take it by force. Now lemme tell you, Eddie Kingston, Adam Copeland, and Mark Briscoe, we some violent men! And at Dynasty, we bringing the violence, babeh! So heed my advice, House of Black! Be afraid, be very afraid!” The Sussex County Chicken is ready for a fight, will he, the Rated R Superstar and Mad King tear down The House of Black once and for all?

 

Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo!

The Bounty Hunter is still looking for a prize, but he’ll gladly fight to earn his shot. Will Keith be heading for a golden opportunity on the other side of Dynasty? Or will Solo shoot first?

The Code of Honor is upheld with sarcastic enthusiasm by Solo, and Keith shoves him away. The bell rings and Solo SLAPS Keith! Keith TACKLES Solo and rains down fists! The fans  fire up, Solo gets away then knees Keith low. Solo ROCKS Keith, whips him to a corner, but Keith comes back to run Solo over! Keith scoops to SLAM Solo, then stands on Solo’s face! The fans fire up for the KNEE DROP! Keith then SLAPS Solo! The fans rally for “BK! BK!” Solo storms up but Keith kicks low. Keith reels Solo in, suplexes, and he holds Solo up! Keith marches around, then SLAMS Solo down! Solo bails out and the fans fire up as Keith aims.

Keith builds speed, slides, but Solo ducks! Solo sends Keith into steel steps! The fans boo as Solo leaves Keith behind. The ring count starts, fans chant “SOLO SUCKS! SOLO SUCKS!” Solo counts along but wants it to go faster. Keith stands at 8 of 20, slides in, but Solo stomps and HAMMERS away! The fans boo more, but Solo stands Keith up to bump him off buckles. Keith CHOPS in return! Then CHOPS again! The fans “WOO~,” then Keith ROCKS Solo with a forearm. Keith CHOPS in the corner, but then Solo dodges. Solo tries but Keith dodges the chop to CHOP Solo down! The fans fire up while Solo is stinging.

Keith whips Solo, Solo reverses and CLOBBERS Keith! Cover, TWO! Keith grits his teeth but Solo knees him in the back! And again! The fans rally, Solo taunts them, and then ELBOWS Keith in the head. Solo stalks Keith to a corner, digs his boots in, but again the fans chant “SOLO SUCKS!” Solo stomps away on Keith, digs his boots in again, but Keith fights up! The fans fire up as Keith fires forearms! Keith fires forearms again and again and again, winds up, but Solo dodges! Solo comes back, but Keith ROCKS him after all! The fans fire up as Keith runs in to BOOT! Solo sputters, Keith runs, but then Solo SUPERKICKS! Keith just roars!

Solo swings, but into a T-BONE SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! The fans rally as Keith keeps calm. Keith waits on Solo as fans rally behind him. Solo staggers into a fireman’s carry, but he fights free! Solo shoves, goes to a corner, but then Keith comes back. Solo ELBOWS Keith, whips, but Keith reverses! Solo goes up but gets caught, for an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up again as Keith slashes his throat and aims his finger gun! Keith underhooks, but Solo fights the lift! Solo back drops, Keith sunset flips but Solo stays up to DOUBLE STOMP! Solo then runs up, catches Keith and hits a T-BONE! Cover, TWO!

The fans fire up but Solo hurries to a corner. Solo climbs fast, and DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Keith survives that coup de grace and Solo isn’t sure what to do. Solo kicks Keith around, drags him up and reels him in to underhook. Keith fight that lift, Solo CLUBS away on him, but Keith Alabama Lifts! Solo grabs ropes so Keith lets him down, and ENZIGIRIS! But Solo SCREW HIGH KICKS! Solo goes up top, but Keith RISING HEADBUTTS! The fans fire up with Keith and he climbs! Keith reels Solo in, for DIAMOND DUST!! Cover, Keith wins!

Winner: Bryan Keith, by pinfall

A big win for BK! And he gives back that sarcastic handshake. Will the Bounty Hunter be hot on the trail of a championship after AEW & ROH pass through the Gateway City?

 

Mark Sterling speaks.

“If you ask AI to create the perfect professional wrestler, it wouldn’t even come close to you. If wrestling is a body business, then you’re a multinational corporation. Biology defying symmetry, no fat, all muscle, no waste. As functional as you are aesthetic. High-flying? You got it. Ground ‘n’ pound? You got that, too. Striking, brawling, submission, technical, there is not a single style you have not perfected. For the last 20 years, you’ve been one of the most consistent and proficient wrestling specimens for any company that’s been willing to throw money at you and begged you to stay. And now, it’s time for them to beg for mercy.

“You are Tony Nese, and you are a Premier Athlete.”

Now Mark Sterling & The Premier Athletes are here in person.

They stand backstage, Sterling’s guys in matching tracksuits, and he says the last time he looked into the camera, he told everyone he had a plan. The very next day, they enacted that plan. Sterling took them off the road, they entered a professional fight camp. They got the best coaches, best trainers, best doctors, and these three started to do what they do best: go to work. Supercard of Honor, against two former ROH TV Champions, PA got an impressive victory. Fruits of their labor. Ariya Daivari is back better than ever. Josh Woods is bigger and better than he was when he won the National Championship. And Tony Nese is in the best shape of his life, which is saying something.

In fact, what’re we even talking about? These three are the most underappreciated athletes in the company. They walk like stars, they move like stars, they present themselves like stars, and by the end of this year, they will be champions. Supercard was just phase one of this plan. Phase two… starts tonight. Then just what happens when the Premier Athletes start making moves?

 

Lee Johnson VS JD Drake!

Even though he lost at Supercard, Big Shotty stays positive! He got close to the ROH World Television Championship, will he get back there for another shot? Or will Scrap Metal be another speedbump in Lee’s momentum?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, and the fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, JD HIP TOSSES, and Lee scrambles to ropes. JD flexes and fans cheer, which surprises JD. Lee gets up, he and JD reset. They tie up, JD arm-drags, but Lee gets up. Lee keeps calm while JD talks some smack. They circle, tie up again, and JD scoops! JD carries Lee around, with one arm! Then SLAM! JD dusts off his hands and the fans fire up more. Lee is a bit frustrated, but he fires himself up. The fans rally with him, he and JD circle to tie up. Lee goes to hip toss, but JD blocks! JD tells Lee he knows that’s not gonna work!

JD goes to hip toss but now Lee blocks! Lee arm-drags, then he goes to feint, but JD blocks with a headlock. Lee shoves JD, tries another arm-drag, but JD blocks that. JD whips Lee, Lee ducks ‘n’ dodges and arm-drags again! The fans fire up as Lee tries to scoop, but JD’s too hefty! JD SLAPS Lee, ROCKS him, then whips him to ropes. Lee ducks ‘n’ dodges again, shoves JD and hurdles! Lee drops, then DROPKICKS! JD staggers to a corner, Lee fires up, and the fans fire up with him! Lee runs up on JD in a corner to CHOP! JD barely flinches! JD puts his arms back and dares Lee to try again. Lee CHOPS, but JD puts Lee in the corner!

JD swings, Lee dodges and CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Lee whips, JD reverses but Lee ELBOWS back! Lee runs up but into a lift, and FLAPJACK off buckles! Lee falls, the fans rally up, and JD dusts himself off. JD storms back up on Lee, brings him up, and the fans rally. JD ROCKS Lee, stands him up in the corner, and CHOPS! The fans “WOO~!” while Lee sputters. The fans want that “One More Time!” so JD stands Lee up. JD winds up, to JAB! The fans boo JD trolling them, but JD stands Lee up to CHOP him after all! Lee is stinging, but JD brings him up. Lee throws body shots but JD ROCKS Lee!

JD whips, Lee sunset flips! JD stays up, but Lee avoids the hip drop! Ghost pin, TWO! JD gets up, kicks low and whips, to SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Lee stays in this and the fans rally up. JD sits Lee up, KICKS him in the back, then paces around. The fans rally for Lee but JD pie faces him around. Lee rises, JD brings him up and Lee CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS again! JD throat chops! The ref reprimands, JD claims he jabbed to the chest. JD then scoops and SLAMS Lee, to then FALLING HEADBUTT! Cover, TWO! Lee is still in this but JD CHOKES him! The ref counts, JD lets off, claiming he was just checking the pulse.

JD clamps on a chinlock, digging his knee into Lee’s back. Lee endures, the fans rally up, and Lee fights to his feet. Lee throws body shots, but JD knees low! JD suplexes but Lee slips free! Lee ROCKS JD, ROCKS him again, but JD CHOPS! JD runs, but Lee SUPERKICKS! JD flops out of the ring and the fans fire up! The fans rally as Lee builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit at the ramp and the fans fire up even more! Lee puts JD in, climbs a corner, and JD stands. JD staggers around, into the CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! JD stays in this but then bails back out. Lee thinks on what he has to do and the fans rally up.

Lee runs, to slide, but JD gets under! JD pops Lee up to CLOBBER him! JD puts Lee in, aims from a corner, and Lee goes to the opposite end. JD runs up, but Lee moves, CANNONBALL hits buckles! Lee hurries up while JD is down! The fans cheer as Lee aims, FROG SPLASH, but JD moves! Lee rolls through, runs back at JD but JD puts him on the apron. JD ROCKS Lee, goes up, and he brings Lee around. The fans fire up as JD brings Lee up, but Lee fires body shots! Lee GAMANGIRIS, then climbs! Lee sunset flips for the POWERBOMB! The fans fire up and Lee climbs back up, FROG SPLASH!! Cover, Lee wins!

Winner: Lee Johnson, by pinfall

Big Shotty’s got range, and he hit the mark! Will Lee take this momentum and turn it into another chance at a championship?

 

Abadon VS Allysin Kay!

Speaking of second chances, The Living Dead Girl got screwed out of the ROH Women’s World Television Championship when Mercedes Martinez & Diamante conspired against her. And while AK Don’t Play, she knows the OG Badass well. Can Abadon prepare for revenge by taking down Martinez’s greatest rival?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, but Abadon holds on, to BITE Allysin’s arm! Abadon then laughs, dodges Allysin to HEADBUTT low, HELL STAB, then mule kick! Abadon runs to SHOTGUN BOOT! Allysin goes to a corner while the fans rally up and Abadon shrieks! But Allysin BOOTS Abadon down! Allysin rains down fists, covers, ONE!! Abadon sits up but Allysin brings her around to fireman’s carry. SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up, Allysin drags Abadon up to TOSS her to a corner! Allysin fires body shots, then she CHOPS! Allysin whips corner to corner hard and Abadon bounces off buckles!

Allysin takes a bow, puts pinkies up, and SPLASHES in the corner! Allysin CHOPS, whips, and runs up again, but Abadon BOOTS her! Abadon runs to BULLDOG! The fans rally as Abadon slithers out to the apron then climbs up the corner. Allysin crawls, Abadon aims, CROSSBODY! Abadon runs to KNEE Allysin back down! Abadon storms up on Allysin, reels her in, BLACK DAHLIA! Cover, Abadon wins!

Winner: Abadon, by pinfall

Abadon smiles, then shrieks into the night! Will Mercedes Martinez make sure to stay far, far away from the frightening Living Dead Girl?

 

Backstage interview with Taya Valkyrie.

Lexi Nair is with La Wera Loca and brings up her trios match alongside Diamante and Leila Grey. But this is also the first time we’ve seen her since Supercard, where Johnny TV lost to Dalton Castle. The question is: where is Johnny? Uh, recovering from that vicious attack by Dalton Castle and his “special boy,” Paul Walter-Whatever! Taya is gonna call up Fran Dreischer to file a complaint! For someone so TV Ready, Castle and Paul sure don’t look it. So yes, Johnny is rehabbing. Wait he’s in rehab? Ew, no, who do you think they are? Johnny is rehabbing the abs! This is an aesthetics business so he has to look amazing!

So tonight, Taya will carry the weight of the TV Family in trios action. So run along, Lexi, Taya has things to do. Uh, this is Lexi’s interview space. Oh, well, her apologies. Taya bumps Lexi on the way out, but will Taya’s team win some major points in the title chase tonight?

 

The Infantry VS The Iron Savages w/Jacked Jameson!

Captain Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo may not be the ROH World Tag Team Championships, but they are not deterred. Will they get through the jacked ‘n’ juicy juggernauts to go after The Undisputed Kingdom once again?

The teams sort out, #BadNewsAndTattoos starts against Beefcake Boulder, and they keep the Code of Honor. They tie up, Bravo tries but can’t push Boulder back, but Boulder pushes Bravo back! Bravo resets with Boulder, beefs up, and they tie up. Bravo wrenches to wristlock, but Boulder WRINGS Bravo out! Boulder talks smack on Dean and Bravo, but Bravo pie faces. Boulder scoops Bravo, but Bravo slips free to DROPKICK! Boulder stays up, runs up, but Dean is there to GAMANGIRI! Bravo tags Dean while Boulder throws a fit, but DOUBLE DROPKICKS send him reeling! Bulk Bronson tags but runs into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS!

The fans fire up as the Infantry crisscross and SPLIT the wishbone! Bravo gets fans going with “OORAH!” Dean runs to JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Bronson bails out, Boulder is there to help him, and Dean builds speed, only for Jacked Jameson to stand in the way! He wants Dean to sip the Savage Sauce! Dean says no thanks, but in comes Bronson! EXPLODER! Bravo protests but Bronson drags Dean to a cover. The ref is busy arguing, he finally sees the pin, TWO! Bronson is annoyed, but he mocks Bravo’s air machine gun. Bravo then tags Boulder before he brings Dean up. The fans rally but the Savages still hit a SHOULDER TACKLE SUPLEX COMBO!

Bronson flexes, Boulder taunts Bravo, and then Boulder whips Dean to the corner. Boulder wraps Dean’s arms around ropes to HEADBUTT again and again and again! Tag to Bronson, he brings Dean around, and they visit #TIDDYCITY! But Dean reverses, it’s Bronson who dives in! Boulder panics, runs up, but Dean DUMPS him! Bronson swings, misses, hot tag to Bravo! Bravo rallies on Bronson with big forearms! Bravo whips, Bronson reverses, but the CARLIE CROSSOVER takes Bronson down! Boulder gets up, Bravo fakes him out to SCISSOR KICK! Bravo then kicks Bronson, and manages a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally, Bravo pounds the mat, but now Jameson wants Bravo to sip! Bravo says no, get outta here! Bronson runs up again, Bravo dodges, and Bronson barely avoids hitting Jameson! Bravo aims, Bronson dodges, the SUPERKICK hits Jameson! Jameson spews sauce! Boulder catches Jameson, Dean goes up, and Dean CROSSBODIES to wipe them both out! But Bronson rolls Bravo up! TWO, and Bronson grabs Bravo, only for Bravo to kick low! Bravo reels Bronson in, tags Dean, and TORNADO- NO, Bronson stops the DDT! Dean gets in, Bronson scoops, but Dean slips free! Feed to a SUPERKICK!

The Infantry coordinate, for BOOT CAMP! Cover, Infantry wins!

Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall

Dean & Bravo redeem themselves from Supercard and are ready to get back on track! But wait, The Premier Athletes make their way out here! Is this what Smart Mark was talking about for phase two? Daivari & Nese rush the ring and start throwing hands with The Infantry! Woods tips the scales as he DECKS Dean, then DECKS Bravo! But wait! Here comes Dalton Castle! The Peacock won’t stand for there to be bullies, and he takes off his sandals to weaponize them! The Premier Athletes dare him to, but wait! Here comes Mark Briscoe, Bryan Keith and Lee Johnson! They run The Premier Athletes off!

Sterling shouts, “Who do you think you are?!” but he’s shouting at THE ROH World Champion and many other big names around here! Will The Peacock, the Chicken and the rest of ROH humble Sterling’s stable once and for all?

 

Six Woman Tag: Diamante, Leila Grey & Taya Valkyrie VS Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora!

The Cuban Diamond has staked her claim at challenging for the ROH Women’s World Television Championship, but so has The Hottest Flame. But let’s not forget The Last Baddie Standing, La Wera Loca, the LEGIT One and The AfroPunk! Billie Starkz still sees herself above all six of these women, but which trio takes the lead in the title chase with a win tonight?

The teams sort out, Taya starts against Kiera and the Code of Honor is upheld. The bell rings, the two tie up, and Kiera gets around to waistlock. Taya pries the hold, backs Kiera into a corner and throws elbows! Taya stomps away on Kiera, then says who’s the hottest now? Taya snapmares, covers, ONE!! Taya drags Kiera up, whips her to ropes, but Kiera holds ropes to BOOT back! Taya runs up again but Kiera drop toeholds her onto ropes! HIP ATTACK! Taya flounders, Kiera runs to step-up and LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Kiera keeps cool as she brings Taya up, but Taya ROCKS Kiera then throws her by her hair!

Taya tags Diamante, they stomp Kiera, then Diamante sucker punches Leyla! Diamante runs in to DROPKICK Kiera, then drags her to a high stack cover, ONE!! Kiera is tougher than that but Diamante says it’s just a matter of time. Diamante runs, PLANKING SPLASH flops as Kiera moves! Hot tag to Leyla! Leyla gut wrenches Diamante to GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Tag to Adora, then Leyla wrenches so she can hand it off to Adora. Adora WRINGS Diamante’s arm, drags her up and wrenches again, but Diamante ROCKS her! Adora swings, Diamante dodges to tilt-o-whirl and RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Diamante snarls and pushes Adora down to rain down fists!

Diamante storms around, brings Adora up and CHOPS her on the back! Tag to Grey and she NECK SNAPPERS Adora! Cover, TWO! Adora is tougher than that but Grey rains down fists! Grey drags Adora up, bumps her off buckles, then tags Taya. Taya and Grey dig their boots in, then Taya stomps a mudhole. Taya sits Adora down to METEORA! Tag to Diamante and she stomps a mudhole! The ref reprimands but Diamante tags Taya back in. Taya steps over Adora and mockingly has Adora reach out to her corner. The ref has to keep Hirsch back so Grey gets shots in, then Taya drags Adora up.

Taya again mockingly holds out Adora’s hand but the fans rally up. Adora fights up, but Taya pulls her into the motorcycle stretch! Adora endures the knee in her back, fights up to her feet, and then arm-drags Taya away! Taya gets up, ducks ‘n’ dodges and mule kicks! But Adora ducks the buzzsaw to BASEMENT GERMAN! The fans fire up while both women are down! Adora and Taya crawl, hot tags to Kiera and Diamante! Kiera rallies on Diamante with big forearms, then a SUPERKICK! Turn and NECKBREAKER! Kiera goes up a corner while Diamante flounders around. Diamante stands, into a MISSILE DROPKICK!

Diamante flounders, Grey tags in but Kiera dodges to fire off forearms! Grey shoves back, but Kiera returns to SHOTGUN! Grey flounders, Kiera fires up, and says kiss this! HIP ATTACK in the corner! She sits Grey back down to run and BOOT WASH! Kiera drags Grey to a cover, Diamante breaks it! Diamante gets Grey outta there, and Taya tags in. Taya runs up to mule kick, KNEE LIFT and wrench Kiera, into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Leyla also gets in, she pushes Taya around. Leyla drags Taya up but Diamante runs in. Leyla gets around to SAIDO! Taya gets Kiera up but Kiera SUPERKICKS!

Kiera brings Taya over, tags Adora, and they feed Taya to the BUBBA BOMB! Body scissor and GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! Hot tag to Grey, she runs up, ducks ‘n’ dodges, then SLINGBLADES! Cover, TWO! Grey is frustrated but she gets Adora up. Underhooks, but Adora breaks that to fireman’s carry! Adora storms over, tags Hirsch, but Grey slips free! Leyla dodges Leila and feeds her to Adora’s BOOT! Then GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Grey survives but Hirsch tags Kiera. Kiera runs, but Taya trips her up! Diamante distracts so the ref misses that! But then Leyla DIVES onto Taya! Diamante CANNONBALLS Leyla!

LARIAT TUBMAN from Adora to Diamante! Kiera dodges Grey to ROUNDHOUSE! And then “That’s all, PERIODT!” FACE THE MUSIC!! Bridging cover, Team Kiera wins!

Winners: Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora, by pinfall

It was fast ‘n’ furious in the end there, but the Hottest Flame burns it down! Will she be first up to strike a match with Billie Starkz?

 

Backstage interview with Maria Kanellis, Griff Garrison & Cole Karter.

Lexi is with the First Lady of Wrestling and her baby boys, the Diamond in the Rough wearing the stolen mask from Serpentico. Lexi congratulates them on their win over Spanish Announce Project at Supercard, but it seems there might be some unfinished business. Are they ever going to give Seprentico his masks back? Karter takes the mask off to say hell no! Griff says Serpentico’s masks mean a lot to him and his lucha libre culture. But uh, they don’t care! It got them the attention that they deserve, and those wins have been a stepping stone in this company.

If Serpentico wants his masks back, he doesn’t need to trick them into a match. They’re happy to beat the crap outta him anytime, anywhere! Maria loves the confidence, and says Griff will need it in his Proving Grounds match against THE ROH World Champion, Mark Briscoe. Griff is all fired up, will the Ivy League MVP pass the test with flying colors? Or will he fail to #ManUp?

 

The Beast Mortos VS Nick Comoroto!

Black Taurus has evolved into something even more menacing than before, and he is looking to stampede all the way to the top of ROH! But Mr. Freak Beast has changed a lot about himself, too, in hopes of finding success. Whose transformation will prove to be for the better as these behemoths collide?

The Code of Honor is upheld reluctantly, the bell rings, and the fans rally up. The two tie up, go around, and Comoroto shoves Mortos down! Mortos gets up in a huff, gets in Comoroto’s face, but Comoroto pie faces him. So Mortos SLAPS Comoroto! Comoroto runs up, Mortos dodges, and they RAM shoulders! Mortos ducks ‘n’ dodges and jumps to RANA! Comoroto goes to a corner but Mortos runs in to UPPERCUT, CLOTHESLINE, and GAMANGIRI! Mortos wrenches and hits an ARMBAR CODE BREAKER! Comoroto staggers, but he blocks the whip! Comoroto shoves Mortos, runs up, but Mortos dodges to then roll off Comoroto’s back!

Mortos tries to hip toss but Comoroto blocks! Comoroto LARIATS Mortos down then rains down fists! Fans are torn as Comoroto huffs ‘n’ puffs and stomps Mortos around. Comoroto digs his boot into Mortos’ face, lets off to soak up heat, then he drags Mortos up. Comoroto scoops to SLAM, then he runs to JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! The fans rally as Mortos pounds the mat in frustration. Comoroto slashes his throat, but Mortos throws body shots. Comoroto CLUBS Mortos, Alabama Lifts, but Mortos sunset flips! Comoroto stays up, hauls Mortos up, but Mortos JAWBREKAERS, KNEES and ROCKS Comoroto!

Mortos goes to suplex but Comoroto’s a big guy, too! Comoroto suplexes Mortos, but Mortos knees free! Mortos goes to a corner, Comoroto runs in but Mortos dropkicks the legs out! Comoroto hits buckles, then Mortos runs in, CORNER 619! Comoroto staggers away and Mortos climbs, to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Comoroto still has power to spare and he storms up on Mortos. Mortos UPPERCUTS first! Mortos goes to whip but Comoroto blocks again! Comoroto whips Mortos to a corner, runs up, but Mortos slips out to the apron! Comoroto hits buckles, Mortos goes up, and the fans rally! MORTOS TWISTER! Cover, Mortos wins!

Winner: The Beast Mortos, by pinfall

Comoroto is big and bad but this is a beast of a different breed! Will nothing stop the modern day minotaur from making ROH his domain? Will Jacoby Watts’ teachings ever pay off for Comoroto?

 

Backstage interview with Nick Comoroto.

Lexi is with Mr. Freakbeast as he returns backstage, and she asks him what his strategy will be moving forward after this tough loss. Jacoby Watts walks in to say, “Turn the page. Start a new chapter. Nothing changes if nothing changes, Nick. It’s a harsh reality. But I am your answer. Your beacon of hope in the darkness. Follow me and I will lead you into the light! For I am Jacoby Watts, the one and only, praise be to he, and he is me.” Watts waxes poetic while making himself the focus, but will Comoroto accept his guidance?

 

ROH World Championship Proving Ground Match: Mark Briscoe VS Griff Garrison w/ Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis!

The Sussex County Chicken won this title after a war with Eddie Kingston at Supercard, and those two are still going to be friends taking on The House of Black this Sunday! But will Mark be able to focus on tonight with Dynasty on the horizon? Or is this where Maria’s baby boys start building their kingdom?

Mark shows off the belt and its new camouflage patterned leather! The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings and we’re on the clock. The fans cheer on Mark as he circles with Griff. They tie up, Griff headlocks, but Mark powers up and out. Griff sunset flips, but Mark rolls through to drop on the headlock! Griff moves around, fights up, and powers up, but Mark holds tight! Mark hits the takeover, Griff headscissors, but Mark kips free. Roles reverse as Griff headlocks for the takeover, and Mark headscissors. Griff kips free, but Mark shows Redneck Kung-Fu stance and Griff scrambles away! The fans cheer but Maria coaches Griff back up.

Griff cools off, he and Mark reset, and the two circle again. They knuckle lock but Griff kicks low. Griff UPPERCUTS, UPPERCUTS again, then whips corner to corner. Mark goes up and out, SWATS the haymaker to REDNECK KUNG-FU UPPERCUT! Then Mark gets in to BOOT Griff down! Griff is on ropes, Mark runs in to BOOT WASH him right outta the ring! The fans fire up as Mark builds speed, and he DIVES onto Griff! Not the cleanest landing but Mark borrows a hat to put it on! The fans fire up with Mark, he gives the hat back, then drags Griff up to DECK him! Mark drags Griff up again, to scoop and SLAM!

Griff sputters, Mark goes to the apron, and the fans fire up as Mark takes aim. But then Karter and Maria stand in the way! The fans boo, Mark sighs and steps inside, and Maria coaches Griff up. Griff flounders up, the fans rally behind Mark but then Karter and Maria each get on the apron! The ref is busy arguing with Maria but Karter distracts Mark. Griff sneaks in to CLOBBER Mark! Griff fires forearms while the fans boo, but then Griff stomps a mudhole into Mark. The ref counts as Griff digs his boots in, but Griff lets off at 4. But then that lets Karter CHOKE Mark behind the ref’s back!

The fans boo as Karter gets away with one, and Griff drags Mark up. Griff UPPERCUTS, but Mark CHOPS! Griff sputters, Mark CHOPS again! Griff knees low, whips Mark to a corner, but runs into an ELBOW! Mark runs up, into a BOOT! Cover, TWO! Griff clamps onto Mark with a chinlock and he grinds Mark down. The fans rally as Mark endures and fights up. Mark throws body shots, then fires up to CHOP! CHOP! And CHOP! Mark runs, but into the ROLLING ELBOW! Griff then torture racks for the TOWER HACKER BOMB! High stack, TWO! Mark survives and Griff is frustrated but Maria coaches him up.

The fans continue to rally behind Mark as Griff aims again. Griff goes up but Mark REDNECK UPPERCUTS! Griff gets caught up in ropes, Mark lets him loose so he can fall to the floor. Karter hurries over, but Mark goes up to PLANCHA both baby boys! The fans are thunderous, and Mark cracks open a can of WOOOOO Energy! Mark chugs it, bangs the can against his head, then gets Griff in the ring. The fans fire up as Mark runs corner to corner, but Griff BOOTS him! Mark comes back to LARIAT! The fans fire up, Mark reels Griff in, but Griff wrenches out, only for Mark to LARIAT! Mark hauls Griff up again for underhooks!

Mark lifts, for the JAY DRILLER!! Cover, Mark wins!

Winner: Mark Briscoe, by pinfall (denies Griff Garrison a title opportunity)

Maria is upset but there’s nothing she can do, her baby boy wasn’t man enough to stop the NEW ROH World Champion! Will Mark continue to carry on his brother’s legacy and become one of the best champions in ROH history?


My Thoughts:

A very good episode of ROH for being 92 minutes. I still skipped some very clear filler, but Marti Belle got a good showing in her loss to Frost and The Dark Order got a good match out of Zak & Frank. Cruz, Damian & Savion got an okay showing but c’mon, they were against Archer & The Righteous, those guys have been running through everyone. It hasn’t really led them to anything yet, but maybe after we get undisputed AEW & ROH World Trios Champions after Dynasty, Archer & Righteous challenge the winners. And real good wins for Bryan Keith and Lee Johnson, each guy looking good towards midcard titles at some point.

Really good match from Infantry VS Savages, with the Savages being a bit more Heelish this time. Good win for Infantry, but I didn’t think The Premier Athletes would be going after them first. And I didn’t expect Faces like Keith, Lee and Briscoe to run out to get at them. Maybe the Premier Athletes can also position themselves to go after the trios titles after Dynasty. If The Acclaimed win, they’ll need Heel opponents. Archer & Righteous can play either side, but fans really like Archer so I kinda want him and Righteous to be Faces when facing Bang Bang Gang.

Good match and good win for Abadon over Allysin. Good win for Kiera, Leyla & Adora, though things got a little sloppy in the middle, Leyla’s timing wasn’t quite there. Athena & Billie are both Heels, so while Queen Aminata is in the mix, the champion she doesn’t choose still needs a good Face challenger so you can take your pick of the winners from tonight. Really good match from Mortos and Comoroto, and Mortos winning also helped serve Comoroto’s story with Watts. Watts keeps insisting he’s the answer, but this has to lead to Comoroto breaking free and beating Watts up for his arrogance.

Good promo from Maria, Griff & Karter, and they just kinda copy-pasted Mark Briscoe’s promo from Collision that same Saturday. Really good match for Griff against Mark but of course Mark wins. Mark getting involved with Premier Athletes, maybe Woods or Nese get a shot at Mark only to lose and be Mark’s solid first defense. Not sure who could be a more prolonged feud with Mark, but there are plenty of possibilities, and I’m just happy to see him showing up on ROH TV as the ROH World Champion should.

My Score: 8.5/10


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