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Mitchell’s NJPW New Year Dash Results & Report! (1/5/23)

NJPW keeps the party going!

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NJPW New Year Dash 2020

Happy New Year Dash!

WrestleKingdom 17 was just yesterday, but NJPW is only getting started! How will New Year Dash set the tone for the rest of 2023?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Man Tag: Ren Narita, Tiger Mask & Tomoaki Honma VS The House of Torture; The House of Torture wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The United Empire VS DOUKI, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & Taichi; Douki, Kanemaru & Taichi win.
  • Six Man Tag: Chaos VS TMDK; TMDK wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: YOH, Ryusuke Taguchi, Togi Makabe & Shota Umino VS Los Ingobernables de Japon; Yoh, Taguchi, Makabe & Umino win.
  • 8 Man Tag: Hiroshi Tanahashi, Tama Tonga, Hikuleo & Master Wato VS Bullet Club; Tanahashi, Tonga, Hikuleo & Wato win, by disqualification.
  • KOPW 2023 Championship Fatal 4 Way: Shingo Takagi VS Great-O-Khan VS SHO VS Toru Yano; Takagi wins and is the KOPW 2023 Champion.
  • Kazuchika Okada & Kenny Omega VS Jeff Cobb & Aaron Henare; win.

PLAY BY PLAY

KOPW 2023 Championship Fatal 4 Way: Shingo Takagi VS Great-O-Khan VS SHO w/ The House of Torture VS Toru Yano!

A trophy is so 2022! This year, the KOPW is represented by a belt! But will the Rampaging Dragon, Dominator, Murder Machine or Producer be the first to have that strap on their shoulder?

The introductions are made, the newly minted belt is raised, and we see who brings it home as Mr. KOPW 2023!

Before the bell, Sho goes out to converse with the entire House of Torture. Yano gets impatient, as does Takagi, and Sho returns for the check. Then the ref checks Yano. Yano gets impatient with that, and the ref finishes up. The bell rings and Sho bails right out again. Yano is annoyed by that, so Yano goes out of the ring, too! Fans rally as Khan and Takagi stay in the ring, circle, and feel things out. They tie up, Khan gets around but Takagi gets away. Fans applaud, and the two reset. Takagi and Khan knuckle lock, and go shoulder to shoulder in a Test of Strength! Khan powers Takagi down to his knees, but Takagi powers back up to his feet!

Takagi knees low and headlocks, but Khan throws body shots and powers out. They RAM shoulders but neither falls! Fans applaud and Khan dusts himself off. Takagi runs, RAMS Khan, but Khan stays up. Khan runs now, and he RAMS Takagi! Takagi stays up and fans applaud. The forearms start flying fast ‘n’ furious, and then Yano and Sho sneak in! They each roll someone up, TWO! Takagi and Khan are upset with those two, so Yano kicks Sho to make it up to them. Yano throws forearms then whips Sho corner to corner. Yano runs in but Sho dodges! Khan kicks Sho, he and Takagi CLUB and stomp Sho. Takagi and Khan run, but get tripped up by the House!

Yujiro drags Khan out, Dick drags Takagi out, and they throw them both into railing! Yano says he’s safe, and he unties a buckle pad! Sho kicks Yano and whips him into the bare buckles! Yano falls and Sho laughs. Sho says the ref can’t get mad, either, because Yano started it. Sho then throws Yano out, and he distracts the ref. The House stomps away on Yano! If only fans could boo right now, they would. Yano is put in the ring, Sho covers, TWO! Fans applaud but Sho is amused. Fans rally for “Y T R!” but Sho stomps away on Yano. Sho drags Yano up, knuckle locks and twists the wrist, then wrenches to an ELBOW BREAKER! And then another!

Sho hits a third ELBOW BREAKER, then drags Yano down into SNAKE BITE! Takagi stomps in to CLOBBER Sho! Takagi rains down fists while Yano gets away. But Sho rakes Takagi’s eyes! Sho stomps Takagi now, then kicks him. Takagi is annoyed, so Sho KICKS him more. Sho scuffs and kicks but Takagi stands up. Khan sends Yano into railing! Sho throws forearms but Takagi DECKS him! Fans fire up and Takagi stalks Sho. Takagi stands Sho up, fires off in the corner, then whips him corner to corner into the bare buckles! Sho screams in pain, Dick distracts the ref, and Evil traps Takagi in the corner! Sho runs in to clothesline Takagi!

Sho reels Takagi in for a BIG suplex! Fans rally while both men are down, but Sho crawls over. Sho rains down fists on Takagi, then drags him back up. Sho twists the wrist, wrenches, and he whips Takagi into the bare buckles! Now Takagi writhes from the pain! Sho stomps a mudhole into Takagi, then stands on Takagi to dig his boots in. The ref reprimands, counts, but Sho lets off at 4. Fans rally up, but Sho gives Takagi toying kicks. Takagi gets up and he throws forearms! Takagi knees low but Sho rakes the eyes! Sho whips Takagi out of the ring and Evil is there to set Takagi up. Yujiro has a chair! Yujiro JAMS Takagi in the ribs!

Evil puts Takagi back in the ring, Sho covers, TWO! Fans fire up but Sho is furious! Sho laughs as he stalks Takagi, and he stands on Takagi’s neck. Sho digs his boot in, then he drags Takagi up to wrench the arm. Sho kicks, KICKS and SUPER- NO, Takagi blocks! Sho avoids the lariat but the spear is blocked! Takagi knees low and hits a DDT! Fans fire up while both men are down. Takagi crawls to a corner, fires up, and he runs in at Sho! Takagi runs Sho over, scoops and SLAMS him then SENTONS! Fans fire up but Takagi wags his finger. Takagi runs in at the corner, blocks Sho’s boot, then clotheslines! Takagi brings Sho out for a BIG suplex! Cover, TWO!

Takagi looks to the camera and fans rally up already. Takagi says there’s more to come! Fans clap along with “OI! OI! OI!” as Takagi sits Sho up. Sho avoids the sliding lariat, rakes the eyes, then fires off boxing elbows! Sho runs, and LARIATS! Takagi stays up, so Sho runs again, but into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON LARIAT! But Yano returns! Takagi kicks, whips but Yano reverses to throw Takagi by his hair! Khan returns, gets around Yano and shoves him to ropes to SAYANAGI! Fans fire up as Khan stands tall. Sho rushes in, but Khan blocks his “torture tool” attack! Khan takes the wrench away, and he crushes Sho’s hand!

Fans applaud as the ref takes the wrench, but Evil argues with him about it. Khan clamps on the Iron Claw, but Sho LOW BLOWS him! The House is such a pain, but they give Sho a chair! Sho JAMS Yano then SMACKS him on the back! Sho swings on Takagi but he blocks it! Takagi kicks low, but now Evil points out the chair! The ref tells Takagi to put it down so he does. Khan stomps Sho then sets him up for Takagi, PUMPING BOMBER! And then Takagi and Khan work together to BLAST the House off the apron! Khan and Takagi go out after Evil and Yujiro! Fans rally as Khan drags Evil and Dick around to RAM them into railing!

Takagi CLUBS Yujiro, fans fire up, and Abe-san moves aside so Khan can make Evil & Dick take a seat. Takagi RAMS Yujiro into the timekeeper’s table! Down goes the House! Fans are thunderous as Khan and Takagi return to the ring to go after Sho! Sho begs for mercy and forgiveness! Takagi & Khan talk it out, and they decide NO! They stand Sho up, Sho rakes their eyes! Sho runs, into a BOOT JAB COMBO! Fans fire up again, and now Khan and Takagi square off. Khan offers a handshake, fans applaud it, and Takagi- GETS MONGOLIAN CHOPS! Khan tricked Takagi! But Takagi blocks to use MONGOLIAN CHOPS!

Takagi is feeling the Tenzan Power, but Khan HELL STABS! Khan runs, but into Yano’s Manhattan Drop! Yano trips Khan to catapult him into bare buckles! Takagi hits PUMPING BOMBER on Khan! Yano gets Takagi with a Manhattan Drop! Yano catapults, but Takagi stops himself! Yano runs in, but is sent into buckles! PUMPING BOMBER! But Khan BOOTS Takagi down! Fans fire up and Khan roars! Khan drags Yano up in the IRON CLAW! ELIMINATOR!! Cover, but Takagi breaks it! Takagi then hooks Yano up, LAST OF THE DRAGONS!! Cover, Takagi wins!!

Winner: Shingo Takagi, by pinfall (NEW KOPW 2023 Champion)

Takagi is continuing where he left off with KOPW 2022, and also keeps his promise to Kazuchika Okada at the end of WrestleKingdom! Will Takagi still have the KOPW belt when he meets the Rainmaker in February? But at the same time, Khan steps up to Takagi as he holds onto his own Rev-Pro British Heavyweight Championship. Will these two go belt for belt in the month between now and the New Beginnings in Osaka?

 

Kazuchika Okada & Kenny Omega VS Jeff Cobb & Aaron Henare!

The NEW IWGP World Heavyweight Champion teams with the NEW IWGP United States Heavyweight Champion against the Imperial Unit & Ultimate Weapon! Okada and Omega have been long time rivals, but can they be successful together? Or will Ospreay be avenged by his United Empire?

The teams sort out and fans are excited just to see this championship dream team in reality. Fans rally, “O-KA-DA!” “O-ME-GA!” and the champs clink belts! Fans rally up even harder as Omega starts against Cobb. The bell rings, the two talk some trash, and they circle. They tie up, go around, and Cobb powers Omega to ropes. Red Shoes calls the break, Cobb lets off slowly, and he pats Omega on the shoulders. Fans applaud the sportsmanship as Cobb says he’s also keeping his eyes on Okada. Omega and Cobb tie up, Omega waistlocks but Cobb is too big to lift. Cobb elbows out and that’s Omega’s bad eye! Cobb shrugs, runs, but things speed up.

Omega hurdles but Cobb catches him! Cobb pops Omega up but Omega knees free. Omega full nelsons but Cobb breaks free and arm-drags. Omega runs in, shoots around, and then dropkicks the legs out! Omega keeps moving, to KOTARO- NO, Cobb slips out to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Omega lands on his feet and rolls back! Fans fire up at the standoff, and Omega catches his breath. Omega offers, and Okada takes the tag! Fans fire up as Okada and Cobb meet again from their G1 Climax battles. But then Cobb tags out to Henare and Henare circles with the world champion. They feel things out, Henare tries testing kicks but Okada stays up.

Okada and Henare feel out a grapple, but Henare still gives kicks in the knuckle lock. Okada clinches, he puts Henare on the ropes, but then lets off, only for Henare to turn things around. Red Shoes steps in, Henare lets off, only to fire off fast hands! Red Shoes reprimands and Henare lets off. Henare whips, Okada ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Henare! Fans rally up and Okada brings Henare up to CLUB him on the back. Okada whips corner to corner, runs in but Henare dodges the back elbow! Okada drops to his knees and Omega calls out to “Kazuchika!” Fans applaud Omega being on first name basis with his former rival.

Henare stands Okada up to throw body shots in the corner! Red Shoes reprimands, Henare finally lets off, and fans applaud as Okada comes out. Henare hits a THESZ PRESS, then he BOOTS Omega! Henare CLOBBERS Okada again and fans fire up. Henare drags Okada up, fans rally for “O-KA-DA!” “O-ME-GA!” but Henare wrenches. Henare whips Okada hard into buckles and Okada falls over. Cobb says this is too easy as Henare facelocks and drags Okada around. Henare throws in knees into Okada’s ribs, then covers, TWO! Fans rally up again but Henare tags Cobb in. The Empire stomps Okada, and Cobb stares Omega down.

Cobb drags Okada up, scoops him, and carries him around. Okada throws elbows as Omega coaches him, but Cobb throws KNEES into Okada’s side! Cobb then drops Okada as fans applaud. Omega calls to Okada but Cobb stomps Okada’s back. Cobb tells Omega to pay attention to this. Cobb stands on Okada’s back to “surf” on him! Omega storms in to ROCK Cobb with a forearm! Omega coaches Okada but Cobb CLOBBERS Omega! Cobb claps to mock the Terminator Drum, then stomps. Cobb then GACHIMUCHI MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Okada is still in this but Cobb stays on top of him. Cobb then mocks the finger gun, “BANG,” and makes it a hang loose.

Cobb deadlifts Okada and throws him to the Empire corner! Tag to Henare, and he runs to swipe at Omega! Omega avoids that and Red Shoes reprimands Henare. Henare RAMS into Okada, and again, and again! Okada powers Henare back to fire off forearms! Henare snarls and he KICKS Okada down! Cocky cover, TWO! Crowns up but Okada is still in this! Fans rally, but Henare clamps on a ground Cobra Twist! Omega runs in to stomp Henare! Red Shoes reprimands, Omega stops, but fans rally up harder. Henare stands Okada up but Okada ROCKS him with forearms! Henare ROCKS Okada right back!

Henare whips Okada to a corner but Okada reverses. Okada runs in but into a BOOT! Henare runs but into a FLAP- NO, Henare elbows free of the flapjack! Henare runs in at the corner but Okada pops Henare up to the Alabama Lift and REVERSE NECKBREAKER! Both men are down and fans rally up! Okada crawls, as does Henare, hot tags to Omega and Cobb! Omega dodges Cobb to fire a forearm! Cobb hits back, they go forearm for forearm! Fans rally, Cobb gets the edge! Cobb eggs Omega on so Omega CHOPS him! Omega tries to fireman’s carry but Cobb’s too big! Cobb CLUBS Omega and Omega goes to a corner.

Cobb runs in but Omega BOOTS him away! Omega runs to SLAM DUNK PIEFACE! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Omega says he’s gonna get Cobb up! Omega suplexes but Cobb blocks! Omega CLUBS Cobb on the back, and again, and again! Omega reels Cobb in but he still can’t suplex Cobb! Cobb suplexes Omega for the RUNNING BRAINBUSTER! Tag to Henare and he claws Omega’s face! Red Shoes reprimands, Henare lets off and throws knees! Henare then aims, but Omega ducks the heel kick to kick low! Omega fireman’s carries Henare, “YOU! CAN’T! ESCAPE!” ROLLING SENTON to the corner and MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up and Omega tags Okada! Okada storms up on Henare to fire forearms! Okada whips to FLAPJACK Henare down! Cover, TWO! Fans rally for “O-KA-DA!” “O-ME-GA!” Okada gut wrenches Henare, but Henare flails and fights free! Henare shoves Okada at Red Shoes, then HEEL KICKS Okada down! Cobb runs in to BLAST Omega! Fans rally but the Empire stands Okada up. They double whip Okada to the corner, then Cobb whips Henare so Henare can whip Cobb for the BIG back elbow! Henare SHINING WIZARDS, Cobb SUPERKICKS, and Henare RAMPAGE SPEARS! Cover, Omega breaks it!!

Cobb throws Omega out, then goes out after him. Fans rally as Henare stalks Okada. Henare calls for the end! Henare fisherman’s but Okada fights the lift to ROCK Henare! Henare BODY BLOWS! Henare snarls, runs, but Okada DROPKICKS! Fans fire back up and Okada brings Henare around to a scoop and SLAM! Okada hurries up top, to MACHO ELBOW! Fans fire up for the Rainmaker Pose! Okada drags Henare up, ripcords, but Henare dodges! V-TRIGGER! Omega is fired up but Cobb ripcords him into TOUR OF THE- NO, Omega slips free and feeds Cobb to a DROPKICK! Then Omega SNAP DRAGON SUPLEXES Cobb away!

Omega and Okada fire up, they get Henare up, LARAIT V-TRIGGER SANDWICH!! And then the RAINMAKER!! Cover, Okada & Omega win!

Winners: Kazuchika Okada & Kenny Omega, by pinfall

KO and KO, the #OmegaPowers, the championship dream team comes out on top! Omega picks up both belts, but he politely hands the world title over to Okada. However, Cobb gets in Omega’s face. Cobb wants the US title, and Omega is willing to give him that shot! When and where will the Imperial Unit get his shot at the Cleaner? And Omega takes his leave so that Okada may have the spotlight to himself in this main event win. Okada gets the mic and fans clap for him. Okada thanks the fans for the hot, passionate support once again. He tells Kenny thanks, and that it was great to have him as a tag partner.

But then wait! Shingo Takagi appears, also with a mic! Takagi says, just like he did last night, “Sorry for interrupting. But just like I promised, in the semifinal match, I took the KOPW title. So, Okada, you can’t say now that I haven’t build up the required resumé. Look at what I’m wearing.” He is indicating his Antonio Inoki tribute shirt, not the title belt. Takagi says that Inoki would take any challenge, any fight, any time! So if Okada has that Fighting Spirit That Burns, he’d accept Takagi’s challenge! Okada says, “The IWGP World Heavyweight Championship is certainly far above the status of someone that would take any cheap challenge.

“But… You already have a belt. So maybe, that does make you worthwhile.” And Okada does remind everyone that the KOPW was his idea, but Okada’s never been Mr. KOPW. But that is mostly because Okada’s been focused on the top title. But Takagi does interest Okada as a challenger. So just for Takagi, wherever, whenever, they’ll do it! The challenge has been accepted! IWGP World Heavyweight Champion VS KOPW Champion, are we set for truly New Beginnings in Osaka?


My Thoughts:

A really good follow-up event to WrestleKingdom, and a lot more happened than I thought would. I skipped the matches but the major points are: Minoru Suzuki & El Desperado are sticking together, and are joining Ren Narita against The House of Torture; former Suzuki-Gun members Douki, Kanemaru, Taichi & Taka are sticking together with the working title of #JustFourGuys; TMDK recruits Kosei Fujita into their ranks; Yoh called out Hiromu for the Junior Heavyweight title; and Jay White is blaming Hikuleo for his downfall at WK, and is going to have a Loser Leaves Japan match, which I assume means the loser is exiled to NJPW Strong. I have a feeling that means Hikuleo loses so that he becomes a fixture of NJPW Strong, and other international NJPW events.

Great KOPW Fatal 4 Way, though a lot of the time they made it feel like separate 1v1 matches. They could’ve been a bit more hectic about it but I guess they wanted us to focus on the House of Torture interfering on Sho’s behalf. But as I figured, Sho did NOT win. Takagi wins to keep things going with Okada, and of course that match is set after a great tag match from Okada & Omega VS Cobb & Henare. Omega VS Cobb for the US title is going to be great stuff, as will Okada VS Takagi. As I said in the WK article, Okada will win because a one month reign is not how Okada rolls, and Takagi being a dual champion with two vastly different titles doesn’t make sense. But Cobb has a chance to beat Omega for that title since Omega has half a chance of being a trios champion in AEW.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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