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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/23/23)

Raw turns 30!

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This could be the biggest Raw of all time!

For THIRTY YEARS, through highs and lows, Monday Night Raw has led the WWE! Now we see who leads Raw into the NEXT thirty years!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Raw Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Judgment Day; The Usos and Sami Zayn win and retain the titles.
  • Steel Cage Match: Bayley VS Becky Lynch; No Contest.
  • Six Man Tag: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits VS Imperium; Rollins & The Profits win.
  • Bianca Belair VS Sonya Deville; Bianca wins.
  • WWE United States Championship No Disqualifications: Austin Theory VS Bobby Lashley; Theory wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

Hulk Hogan is here!

And so is Jimmy Hart! The Mouth of the South and the TWO-TIME WWE Hall of Famer Immortal Hulkamania are on stage with mics, to say, “What’s up Philadelphia Hulkamaniacs? Well let me tell you something, WWE Universe! A long time ago, when Hulkamania was running wild, a little TV show started, called Monday Night Raw. And week after week, it got bigger, and week after week, it got better, just like me! Yes, sir, guys. And tonight, we celebrate thirty YEARS of Monday Night Raw! We celebrate thirty years then, we celebrate thirty years now, and we celebrate thirty years forever, together!”

Hulk asks, “Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania, thirty years of Monday Night Raw, and those Philadelphia Eagles run wild on you?!” Fans fire up, will this truly be the biggest night in Raw history?

 

The Bloodline is here!

The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, leads the way for Paul Heyman, the Usos, Solo Sikoa and Sami Zayn! Tonight was meant to be a multigenerational Acknowledgement Ceremony for the Head of the Table, but recent circumstances have forced a change in plans. Even so, Roman and the Usos raise their belts for the pyro. They then go to the ring, and they raise the belts again for another round of Pyro. But behold, there is a table set up. Kevin Owens got the better of everyone on Friday Night SmackDown, except for Sami Zayn, who was a minute too late to stop the Prizefighter. Hence, tonight is a Tribal Court Hearing!

Fans are torn as the Bloodline stands around the table, with Sami off to the side. Philly chants for Sami, but Heyman hands Roman a mic. “Philadelphia! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Philly sounds pretty torn here. Roman wants to get to business. “Wise Man!” “Yes, My Tribal Chief!” Heyman takes the mic and everyone sits at the table. Philly chants for “E C DUB!” as Heyman speaks. “My Tribal Chief, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name is Paul Heyman. And I noticed just a moment ago, you all had a chant of three letters that are very near and dear to me.” Fans chant those letters again, “E C DUB!”

But Heyman explains to Roman that ECW is dead, and Heyman wishes the same for SAMI ZAYN! Fans boo, that’s not right! Fans chant for Sami now, but Heyman says, “In plain Samoan speak in this Tribal Court, that is an imbula bara para!” A JUDAS! A BETRAYER of the Island of Relevancy! A conspiracist, in a conspiracy with Kevin Owens since day number one! Sami led the Bloodline on about how good they are and how he is a part of them, “like the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles.” Fans boo but Heyman says they’re gonna feel like the fans after they get conquered by BROCK PURDY of the 49ers! Fans boo even harder!

Fans chant “Fly Eagles Fly!” but Heyman continues to say that this is an open and shut case. He has Exhibits A, B, C, D, even E, F, G, all the way to L M N O P! But he’ll stop at these four pieces of footage that demonstrate that Sami Zayn is “guilty as charged.” Fans boo but Heyman presents his evidence. Exhibit A: Sami talking with the Usos on 8/12/22, and then Drew McIntyre attacks! “Sword Ass” McIntyre jumped the Usos but Sami ran off! “Like the gutless coward that he is!” And then Exhibit B: 8/29/22, Jey telling Sami to get a chair, and Sami taking his sweet time. Sami could’ve hit Kevin, but he didn’t! And Kevin hit a Stunner to win!

Heyman apologizes to Jey that he had to relive that. But Exhibit C: 11/26/22, Survivor Series and the WarGames match. After the win, Sami isn’t with the Bloodline celebrating, he’s on top of the cage for his own glory. And he says something about for life! Is he nWo? Four Horseman? What? And lastly, Exhibit D: 12/23/22, Sami talking up the Bloodline, but shoulder bumping Roman! THAT! The high school hallway shoulder bump! That’s assault! Does Sami perform euthanasia on Roman’s father? Castrate Roman’s sons? That was an assassination attempt on Roman so that Sami could become the Tribal Chief!

If Sami is guilty of nothing else, he is guilty of assault on the Tribal Chief! Heyman tells Roman and the “jury,” he begs of us, and he’s not a begging man, “to find this rat bastard… Guilty! As! Charged!” Fans boo as Heyman drops the mic in Sami’s lap. Then he picks up another mic just to say he rests is case. Fans rally behind Sami as he stands up to speak. “You know, I had a whole defense all lined up, all laid out in my head, but the one thing I didn’t count on was how I would actually feel when I came out here.

“And Paul, watching you, listening to you say all that, right to my face, after every time you hugged me, and it’s Shmuli this, and ‘I love you, Shmuli’ that, man… That hurts. That hurts so much. Watching you play that video, carefully craft this video to make it out like what? What do you think? What do you think I’m doing? You think I’m conspiring with Kevin Owens? You think I’m trying to take out the Tribal Chief?” Heyman shouts “YES!” Sami asks how Heyman can think that after all this time. The fact Heyman would think that, that hurts! After everything that’s gone on, the fact that the Bloodline doesn’t see it, guess what? The FANS see it!

The fans have seen it all these last nine months! But the fact that they’d literally put Sami on trial, to defend himself, that hurts. “So I guess what I’m saying is, my defense is that I have no defense.” Sami sits back down but Philly cheers him on. Roman looks confused. He grabs a mic and says, “Let me get this straight. You don’t have a defense? You got so much ego, you won’t even fight for this? You won’t even explain yourself? You don’t care now, huh? You got so much ego, that you can’t even argue for this? This doesn’t mean anything to you?” Roman gave Sami chance after chance, and this is what he does? This is the respect he shows Roman!? SOLO!!

Solo steps closer to Sami and fans boo. Solo walks around Sami, prepares the thumb, but then JEY stops him!? Fans fire up as Jey stops the Samoan Spike from executing Sami! Fans chant “UCEY! UCEY!” and Jey has everyone calm down. OG, no disrespect, but Jey has his own footage. Roll the tape. WHAT!? Defense Exhibit A! It’s 6/3/22, Matt Riddle hits a SUPER RKO but Roman’s music hit! Jey snuck the tag, then hits the USO SPLASH so the Usos retain, and Sami was the one who pulled the fake-out! Exhibit B: 8/19/22, McIntyre tossing Roman around, but Sami makes the save! Exhibit C: 9/9/22, McIntyre goes after Solo with a chair, Sami makes the save!

And Exhibit D: 12/9/22, Usos beat Brawling Brutes, Sami makes sure Sheamus couldn’t get in! And then Exhibit E: back to WarGames, Kevin has Roman down, Sami stops the ref! And then LOW BLOWS Kevin! And then hits the HELLUVA KICK to set Kevin up for Jey’s USO SPLASH, that wins it for them! Fans cheer seeing those videos, and Jey says, “Let’s go, man! It’s right there, Uce. It’s right there on tape, on film, for you and the whole world to see! This man has taken so many bullets for me, for you, for the whole Bloodline. Man, my dawg basically bulletproof.” And we all know Jey despised and distrusted Sami.

But Sami saw the good in Jey the whole time and never gave up on him. That’s what family do! Fans cheer that, and Jey says, “That tape right there demonstrates to me, Uce, loyalty! And love to this family! Sami Zayn, I love you like a brother, Uce, 100.” So if you want Sami to stay, throw your ones to the sky! All of Philly joins Jey, and even Jimmy raises his finger! Roman stands up now, but fans chant “SAMI USO!” Roman says, “As your Tribal Chief, and the Head of the Table, I find you, Sami Zayn… Not guilty.” Fans cheer and Heyman looks like he’s tearing up. But then Roman adds, “For now.” He wants Sami to thank Jey, because Jey bought Sami time.

In the meantime, this is how it will go. Sami can finish tonight, make the Bloodline proud, and then Roman doesn’t wanna see Sami again until Saturday at the Royal Rumble. Not see him, hear from him, or hear that he’s at a show. Sami will go home, then show up at the Royal Rumble. And that is where Sami delivers his final test. Then we’ll see if Sami Zayn really is The Bloodline or not. The Tribal Chief has passed his judgment, but will the Honorary Uce find a way to finally prove he is worthy?

 

Raw Tag Team Championships: The Usos w/ Sami Zayn VS The Judgment Day w/ Rhea Ripley & Finn Balor!

Jimmy & Jey helped Sami stay in the Bloodline, but now they must pull their own weight in defending their own honor! Will the Usos keep Raw on lockdown? Or will Dominik Mysterio & Damian Priest bring the jailhouse rock to the Uso Penitentiary?

The introductions are made, the red belts are raised, and we see who really runs Monday Night Raw!

The teams sort out and Priest starts with Jimmy. Priest fires off with kicks and fists, then he whips Jimmy to ropes. Jimmy holds ropes, Priest rushes in but Jimmy sends him out. Priest gets back on the apron and blocks a kick, but he spins Jimmy for the DRAGON WHIP! Jimmy then builds speed, but Priest moves aside. Jimmy grins, goes out to taunt Dom and then follows Priest. Dom goes after Jimmy but Jimmy DECKS him! Priest POUNCES Jimmy onto the announce desk! Priest and Dom high-five, Priest puts Jimmy in, and tags in Dom. Dom slingshot sentons! Fans boo as Dom gives us Latino Heat.

Dom CHOKES Jimmy on the ropes, lets off at 4, and Finn gets a cheap shot in! Dom stomps away on Jimmy, rains down forearms, then tags Priest. They mug Jimmy, Priest whips Jimmy to ropes and BACK ELBOWS him down! Cover, TWO! Jimmy sits up but Priest clamps onto the arms for a motorcycle stretch. Fans rally as Jimmy endures. Roman, Solo and Heyman watch from their private room, though Heyman is watching Roman more than anything. Jimmy fights up but Priest CLUBS him down. Fans boo but Priest soaks it all up. Priest stands Jimmy up, shoves him and CLUBS him on the back!

Priest roars, Jimmy sputters, and Rhea mocks Jimmy. Priest brings Jimmy up and shoves, but Jimmy LARIATS on the return! Fans rally up as Priest and Jimmy both crawl. Hot tags to Dom and Jey! Fans rally as Jey rallies on Dom with big clotheslines! Mule kick! UPPERCUT! Dom flounders, swings on Jey but Jey dodges him to SAMOAN DROP! Rhea and Finn freak out but Jey leads the fans in “UCE! SO!” HIP ATTACK in the corner! Cover, TWO! Dom survives but Jey drags Dom up. Dom ROCKS Jey, blocks a kick, but also gets a DRAGON WHIP! Tag to Priest, he ROUNDHOUSES Jey away! Priest runs in, but Jey elbows back!

Jimmy tags in, Priest choke grips Jey! Jey slips free, the Usos shove and DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Priest is still in this and Rhea is frustrated. Jimmy goes to a corner, climbs up top, and fans rally with Sami. Dom rushes over but Jimmy DECKS him! Priest runs in, Jimmy shoulders him back, but Jimmy slingshots into a HAYAMKER! Jey runs in, Priest fires off strikes! Priest ROCKS Jimmy in a corner, SPLASHES Jey in the other! Priest runs to back elbow Jimmy, then back elbow Jey, then back to Jimmy! Another shot for Jey, and then the BROKEN ARROW! Priest snarls as Jey bails out.

Priest builds speed, but Jimmy SUPERKICKS him! Priest rebounds to SUPERKICK back! Jimmy flops out of the ring, Priest builds speed, and Priest FLIES! Direct hit and down go both Usos! Rhea and Finn fire up as Priest roar! Philly boos as Priest puts Jimmy back in, and Priest runs to COMEBACKER LARIAT! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is furious but the ref defends his count. Jimmy is in the corner, Priest runs in to back elbow! Dom tags in, Priest ROLLING KICKS Jey! Priest lifts Jimmy and Dom climbs up, DOOMSDAY!! Cover, TWO!?! Jimmy survives and Rhea can’t believe it! Sami is relieved but Rhea shouts at the ref.

Priest tags back in, he stalks Jimmy and brings him up. Priest reels Jimmy in, Canadian Racks, but Jimmy sips off! Tag to Jey! SUPERKICK for Priest! Dom run sin, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS for Priest! And then DOUBLE SUPERKICKS AGAIN! Cover, TWO!!! Priest survives and everyone is shocked! Finn helps Dom back in, and the ref has to stop him. Finn runs around to trip up Jey! But the ref sees him!! Finn says no, he didn’t mean to! But the ref EJECTS Finn!! Finn is furious but Philly is loving it! More refs come out to drag Finn away! Jey adjusts, USO SPLASH onto knees! Cover, TWO!!!

Rhea can’t believe it! But Jey SUPERKICKS Priest! Tag to Jimmy and he goes up top, USO SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!?!? Priest survives and no one can believe it! Sami is worried, Rhea rallies for Priest and Dom. Jimmy stands, builds speed, and he DIVES to take out Priest! Dom hurries to Priest’s side, Rhea tells commentary to shut up about being nervous. Jimmy hobbles, his leg is bothering him. Jey checks on him, as does Sami. The ref checks on Jimmy, too, but Jimmy is pissed! He hurt his leg, and that brings out medics. The medics help Jimmy up, and Adam Pearce hurries out. Jimmy can’t continue? The ref confirms as much.

Well, if Jimmy can’t, then protocol dictates forfeiting the match, and the titles. Rhea laughs, but Sami says wait! There has to be a solution! Fans cheer and they already anticipate that solution! One Uso is down, but Sami USO is good to go! Sami wants to tag in! Roman is curious as to this development, but fans want to see it! Pearce says he did it for Judgment Day, he’ll do it for Raw 30! Sami tags in, this match continues NOW! Sami is doing his duty, and he fires off on Dom! Jey is after Priest, Philly is thunderous! Sami clotheslines Dom out, Priest clotheslines Jey out! Priest rushes Sami, Sami dumps Priest out!

Fans fire up as Sami builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit on Dom and Priest! Fans are even more fired up as Sami drags Dom up and into the ring! Priest grabs Sami’s foot, Sami kicks him away, but Dom rolls up Sami! With feet on the ropes! TWO!!!! Dom fires off furious fists on Sami, and he says HE will be champion! Dom runs in, into a CORNER EXPLODER! Fans fire up as Sami goes to the other end! But Rhea gets on the apron! Fans boo, but Priest sneaks in! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!!! Sami is down, Dom crawls to the cover! Cover, TWO!?!? Sami survives and Judgment Day cannot believe it! But Philly is LOVING this!

Dom dares Sami to get up, then he runs in, body scissors onto the rope! Dom dials it up but Jey tags in! SUPERKICK for Dom! SUPERKICK for Priest! Rhea gets in, and Jey hesitates. Rhea dares Jey to do something, but then Dom rushes in and dropkicks Jey onto ropes! Dom dials it up, 619!! Fans boo but Dom climbs up! FROG SPLASH!! Cover, SAMI BREAKS IT!! Fans are thunderous but Priest whips Sami to a corner. Sami dodges and Priest POSTS himself! Priest flops out, Dom TOSSES Sami out! But Jey fireman’s carries! Dom slips off, Sami tags in as Jey bucks the O’Conner! SUPERKICK! Sami and Jey coordinate, they ONE AND DONE!!! Cover, THE USOS WIN!!

Winners: Jey Uso & Sami Zayn (still Raw Tag Team Champions)

Roman is rather stunned. Sami actually did it! He made up for tonight, but Roman still doesn’t wanna see Sami until Saturday. Heyman says, “Yes, My Tribal Chief.” But even so, Sami and Jey raise the belts together as brothers in arm! Will San Antonio be Sami’s last stand?

 

JBL and Baron Corbin walk around backstage.

They come across The Godfather! JB and Charles Wright hug it out, and Wright asks JBL, “Who’s the stooge you got with you?” JBL introduces Corbin, and Wright checks his guest list. Barry? No, Baron. He’s gotta be on the list. Nope, no Corbins. JBL says maybe they can speak to the owner of the establishment. Sure, he can do that. Wait, APA? It’s RON SIMMONS! Bradshaw and Farooq hug it out, but who’s the stooge? This is Baron Corbin! HIs protégé. They wanna get in on the poker game but Corbin’s not on the list. Maybe They could check it again, wink wink. Money money. Oh… That list. Yeah, they got a spot for him.

Ron says he’s got just the thing for Corbin and JBL, and they walk through the door. Ron sure fixed this place up from the old days. There’s THREE poker tables, with legends and new stars all around! Will Corbin fit right in here?

 

LA Knight is here!

The Mega Star of SmackDown is here on Raw 30, and he says, “Lemme talk to ya!” Philly cheers “YEAH!” “Last Friday on SmackDown, Bray Wyatt brought back the Firefly Funhouse, yippee~! A grown-man incel playing with puppets with spooky music. And I’m supposed to be scared of that? HUH!? WRONG! If I was any more a man, there’d be two of me standing here right now. Meanwhile, this guy is living on past glory, and it just got me thinking. Here we are, Raw is turning 30 tonight, there’s a bunch of legends back there running around, they’re living on past glory. Bray Wyatt’s living on past glory.

“And it just has me thinking: If any single one of those legends right now has enough tingle in their loins, YEAH~, why don’t you come on down here and I’ll give you a little preview of the Pitch Black match at Royal Rumble, at your expense, YEAH!” Everyone waits, but Knight figured. No one will- WAIT! The bell tolls, the lights go down, and the moon rises! IT’S THE UNDERTAKER!! But then wait, Kidd Rock plays, and it’s the AMERICAN BADASS TAKER!! The motorcycle riding version of the Dead Man is here in Philly! Taker parks at ringside, makes sure the kickstand is up, and then Philly fires up as he gets in the ring!

Knight says that’s enough, cut the music! Fans chant for “UNDERTAKER!” and now Taker is waiting on Knight to get back in the ring. Knight says, “Before we take this anywhere, I heard what you said on Joe Rogan about the locker room being soft. Hey, I agree with ya. You look back there and there’s a bunch of softies back there. Top of the list is Bray Wyatt. But I’ll tell you like this: if you think I fall under that umbrella, somebody told you the wrong story. But I tell you what. You’re giving me an opportunity to do something right now.

Let’s just think about something here: think of the irony of the headline we can create right now: LA Knight sends the Undertaker to the undertaker. HAHA, YEAH!” So Knight says he’s gonna give Taker a pass. He’ll let Taker live to see another day and enjoy retirement with his family. Oh, but Knight wants Taker to watch the match at Rumble. After that, Knight will be the Lord of Darkness. Also, if anyone asks you whose game this is, don’t be confused. Everyone is saying it’s L A Knight’s Game, YEAH! But then the lights go down! BRAY WYATT is here! And he’s right behind Knight! Knight gets scared down the ramp, stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Bray walks his way forward, lantern shining, and it forces Knight towards the ring. Knight tells Taker not to take what he just said personally. But then Taker choke grips Knight! Knight begs for mercy, but Taker sees Bray approach the ring. Bray steps inside, and Taker gives Knight over to SISTER ABIGAIL! And fans lose their minds over a moment we thought we’d never see again: Taker and Bray staring down! Taker whispers something to Bray, then takes his leave. What just did the Phenom tell the Eater of Worlds? Will it help Bray overcome not just Knight, but the inner demons Bray is battling?

 

We check back in with the APA poker games.

JBL sees the belt Alundra Blayze has with her. Did she fish this out of the trash? Ha ha. She raises, Gable folds, “A thank yew.” Why does he always do that? It’s the smart move! Otis doesn’t care, he’s in! What about DDP? Oh, he’s in, and calls. Blayze has Kings & Queens, FULL HOUSE! She’s still champ! WAIT! D D P has a straight. Those don’t beat Full Houses. But a STERAIGHT FLUSH DOES! BANG! Alright, good one. Who will be the big winner tonight on the biggest night in Raw history?

 

Steel Cage Match: Bayley VS Becky Lynch!

The Role Model and the Man have escalated their rivalry to this point, in which Bayley got goaded into doing this all on her own! Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky see Bayley out, but will they see Bayley lose all on her own? Or can Bayley finally overcome everything Becky says is still bothering her?

Raw is picture in picture for Bayley’s entrance, and she takes a moment to take in the sight that is the cage lowering. She tells the crew to hustle up, time is money. Bayley taunts Philly from the cage, more than likely saying her 49ers will beat the Eagles just like she’ll beat Becky here. Raw returns to single picture as Becky makes her entrance. Becky steps into the cage, but wait! Kai & Sky return! SO much for doing this alone! Becky fights them off, but Bayley BOOTS the door into Becky! Kai & Sky throw Becky around, then FLAPJACK her into the cage! Bayley cheers her team on as Kai has a metal chain! She DECKS Becky with a chain fist!

Kai & Sky put Becky in the cage, then join Bayley in beat Becky down! Kai uses the chain to lock the door! Bayley & Sky TOSS Becky into the steel! Bayley rains down fists, and says she’s the smartest person in this division! Pearce is furious but he can’t get the door open as Bayley hits a suplex on Becky! Sky stomps Becky then hits a LIONSAULT! Pearce and Bayley argue, but Bayley says Becky wanted this! Pearce has bolt cutters and he cuts away at the chain! But DMG CTRL hits a DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER!! Becky is down, DMG CTRL climbs the cage to get away from Pearce and the refs.

Fans boo but DMG CTRL laughs, having pulled off their master plan. Will anyone be able to humble the Role Model with the back-up she’s got?

 

Degeneration X is here!

Philly fires up because they are ready! HHH! HBK! Road Dogg! X-Pac! And playing the part of Billy Gunn tonight is Kurt Angle. Angle joins in on the crotch chop pyro! Dogg gets the mic to say, “The more things change, the more they stay the same. Now then, llllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! Tonight, Degeneration X proudly presents to you, it’s SIX-TIME WWE Tag Team Champions of the WOOOOORLD~! The Road Dogg, Jessie James! The Bad-” Wait. They just now noticed Kurt Angle? What’s he doing here? Angle always wanted to be in DX. He takes off his red, “I’ll make you TAP OUT” shirt, and reveals a DX shirt!

HBK wants to sort this out. If Angle wants to be in DX, he has to past the test. Is he ready? Is that the test? HHH says nevermind. He asks the fans, “ARE! YOU! READY~?!” Fans cheer, so “then, for the sold out thousands in attendance. For the millions watching around the world. LLLLLLLLLLET’S-” IMPERIUM!? Giovanni Vinci, Ludwig Kaiser, and of course Der Ring General, GUNTHER, are here from SmackDown! The WWE Intercontinental Champion leads his soldiers into the ring to stand face-to-face with DX! Ludwig has a mic to say, “Shame on you for all that filth and nonsense.”

Fans boo but Gunther says, “Look at all of you! You bunch of degenerates! Standing out here celebrating yourselves! For what?! For making a mockery of this great sport! We are Imperium! And we are here to restore the honor of this precious sport. And we are here to kick you out of OUR ring. Unless anyone of you is gonna do something about it.” They all pat HHH on the back and he steps up! HHH says, “I’m retired, dude.” Then he steps back and looks to HBK. Fans cheer on HBK, but he says he’s too old. X-Pac says if they’re leaving this to him, he has shin splints. and Road Dogg won’t even joke about it. HHH tells “Butterbean” to stay in the corner.

But HHH has the group huddle up. Fans already cheer on Kurt Angle, and they look to him. So they volunteer Kurt! Kurt say nope, not it. Oh, c’mon! Well, they’re in a bit of a jam, then. HHH wishes there was someone who would come out here and fight Imperium. SETH ROLLINS is here! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” for the Visionary as he makes his way to the ring. But wait, he’s just one guy. Imperium is three. If only there was a team that could help Seth. Well here come the STREET PROFITS! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins wear their 76ers best as they make their way to the ring! Because where there’s fire, there’s SMOKE!

Dogg says this is cool! Three and three, now what? Well, someone needs to make it official. Why’s everyone always looking at HHH? Booking isn’t that easy! You don’t just make decisions on the fly. If only there was someone who could come out and make sense of this whole situation. TEDDY LONG is here! And he says, “Hold on a minute, playa. Now, I’ve got the perfect idea for ya. Imperium, tonight… You will face the Street Profits, and Seth Freakin’ Rollins, in a SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH, playa!” HBK says someone needs to keep this chaos under control. Like a special guest referee?

DX huddles up again, Angle wants to talk because he has an idea. Hold on, they’re talking. Guys, Angle has an idea! Fine, let him say it. Angle has a REF SHIRT under the DX shirt! It’s even red, white ‘n’ blue! HHH says let’s make Kurt the special guest ref! It’s official! Ring the bell! HBK says if you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya: SUCK IT!! Will Imperium regret crashing Raw 30?

Six Man Tag: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits VS Imperium!

Raw returns and the trios sort out as Jerry “The King” Lawler joins commentary. Rollins and Vinci start, and they circle. Fans sing for Rollins, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins and Vinci tie up, go around, and Vinci headlocks. Rollins powers up but can’t power out as Vinci holds tight. Rollins fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Rollins hurdles, redirects, then mule kicks Vinci! Front kick, DISCUS LARIAT! Fans fire up and Rollins brings Vinci up. Rollins wrenches the arm, tags in Ford, and Ford jumps in to CLUB Vinci’s elbow! Ford wrenches the arm, but Vinci kicks low! Vinci uppercuts and CHOPS!

Ford is stinging, but Vinci whips. Ford reverses to DROPKICK Vinci down! Cover, TWO! Ford CHPOS Vinci in the corner, whips him corner to corner, but Vinci reverses. Ford boots but Vinci blocks to short arm LARIAT! Vinci stomps Ford, tags Ludwig, and Imperium mugs Ford. Ludwig CLUBS Ford, kicks low, then CLUBS Ford again. Fans rally for Ford but Ludwig bumps Ford off buckles. Ludwig stomps a mudhole, then shouts, “NEIN!” Fans boo but Ludwig drags Ford up. Ludwig whips but Ford reverses to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Ford whips, tag to Dawkins, the Profits run Ludwig over! Back suplex SPLASH! Cover, TWO!

Ludwig goes to a corner but Dawkins whips Ludwig corner to corner. Dawkins runs in but Ludwig dodges the cyclone to GAMANGIRI! Ludwig ROCKS Dawkins, but Dawkins DECKS Ludwig! Both men are down and Philly fires up! Hot tags to Gunther and Rollins! The Architect stares down with Der Ring General and fans fire up. Gunther kicks low, CLUBS Rollins, then UPPERCUTS! Gunther scoops but Rollins slips off to waistlock, Gunther switches, for a SLEEPER! Rollins arm-drags free, runs in but is put on the apron. Gunther swings, Rollins dodges to shoulder in! Rollins springboards, into a CHOP!

Rollins sputters, Gunther drags Rollins up and scoop SLAMS him! Then NECK TWIST! Rollins writhes, Angle reprimands, but Gunther CHOPS Ford down, and he stares Dawkins down while Raw goes picture in picture.

Gunther stalks Rollins, stomps him around, then drags Rollins up to wrench. Gunther grinds the arm, tags in Ludwig, and they mug Rollins. Rollins goes to ropes, Ludwig CHOKES him! Angle counts, Ludwig lets off and argues with him, and Vinci gets a cheap shot in! Angle suspects something but Ludwig covers, TWO! Ludwig drags Rollins up to chinlock, but Rollins endures. Rollins pries the hold, fans rally up, and Rollins throws body shots. Then a JAWBREAKER! Ludwig staggers back, tag to Vinci! Vinci stops Rollins and whips him to ropes, to then scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!

Vinci is annoyed but Angle defends his count. Rollins stands, but Vinci kicks him to the corner. Vinci ROCKS Rollins, then brings Rollins out. Rollins throws body shots, but Vinci knees low! Vinci POSTS Rollins! Tag to Ludwig, and Rollins is tuck in the corner. Gunther joins in, TRIPLE KICK in the corner! Imperium poses together while Rollins flops to the floor. Gunther drags Rollins up, puts him in the ring, and stomps him down. Gunther tags Ludwig, and Ludwig grinds Rollins down with a headlock. Rollins endures, fans rally up again, and Rollins fights up. Rollins throws body shots, powers out, but Ludwig throws him by his hair!

Ludwig then clamps onto Rollins with a chinlock and he grinds Rollins down. Rollins endures, Ludwig puts his weight on the hold, and Raw returns to single picture. Fans continue to rally as Rollins fights up. Rollins pries the hold open to DECK Ludwig! Rollins hurries but Ludwig grabs an arm! Ludwig keeps Rollins back, then he whips Rollins at the corner! Rollins BLASTS Gunther, then CLOBBERS Ludwig! But Vinci rushes in to back suplex! Rollins lands on his feet, ducks Vinci and hot tags Ford! Ford GAMANGIRIS Vinci, then CLOBBERS him! And CLOBBERS him again! Ford CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! MACHINE GUN CHOPS!

Ford whips, Vinci reverses, but Ford CLOBBERS him! Ford kicks, front kicks, but Vinci ducks the enziguri! Back suplex, but Ford lands on his feet! Vinci kicks, Ford blocks, and Ford has an ANKLE LOCK! Angle appreciates the shoutout, and then Dawkins intercepts Ludwig! DOUBLE ANKLE LOCKS! Fans fire up, Gunther runs in, and he BOOTS Ford! And CHOPS Dawkins! Gunther and Angle argue, and fans fire up for Kurt. Gunther jabs Kurt in the chest with his finger, so Kurt shoves him! Rollins runs in to CLOBBER Gunther! Dawkins builds speed to FLY onto Ludwig! Ford builds speed to FLY onto Vinci!

And as fans sing, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins builds speed to- CHOP from Gunther! Gunther SHOTGUNS Rollins into buckles! Gunther drags Rollins up, for the GENERAL BOMB! Cover, TWO!!! Rollins survives and Gunther is furious! Gunther waistlocks and deadlifts Rollins, to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Rollins lands on his feet! Gunther gets around, SLEEPER, but Rollins pries free to ELBOW BREAKER! PELE! SUPERKICK! ANGLE SLAM!! Angle likes that shoutout, too! Rollins and Gunther are both down, they crawl for their corners, hot tags to Vinci and Ford! Vinci LARIATS Ford!

Ludwig goes up top, Vinci lifts Ford! But Rollins springs up after Ludwig! Ford back drops Vinci, Rollins SUPERPLEXES Ludwig! And rolls through, feed to the Electric Chair! Ford is up top, BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY!! Gunther returns to CHOP Dawkins! Rollins kicks, Gunther blocks and reels him in! Rollins slips free to PEDIGREE!! Shoutout to HHH!! Dawkins dodges Vinci to ANOINT him! Rollins tags in as Ford is up top, FROM THE HEAVENS! Rollins adds on the CURB STOMP!! Cover, Rollins & the Profits win!

Winners: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits, by pinfall

The Visionary tops it off, he is rolling towards the Royal Rumble! Will Rollins look to #BurnItDown at WrestleMania?

 

The poker games continue.

And Corbin has made it all the way to facing THE Million Dollar Man, Ted DeBiase! What’s Coribn got? He’s got FOUR ACES! DeBiase folds and he’s out! The pot goes to Corbin! Wait, Irwin R. Schyster is here to say, “Don’t forget to pay your taxes.” IRS takes his cut, and… Corbin gest to keep $100. He “earned” that. Ron walks over and sees what happened. JBL braces for it. “DAMN!!”

 

Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.

Cathy Kelley notes that later tonight, Lashley takes on Austin Theory for the WWE United States Championship, but can he explain to us why it’s now in a No Disqualifications match? Lashley says NO DQ means no excuses and no way out. Theory can’t get disqualified to hold onto his title, and Lashley won’t get disqualified for what he’s about to do to Theory. Lashley should still be US champion, if not for Brock Lesnar. But Lashley dealt with Brock, and that little suspension. Lashley has one focus: tear Theory apart and win the US Championship back.

But then MVP steps in and asks Cathy give them time to talk. MVP tells “the champ” that he has no doubt in his mind Lashley will do everything he said he would. Lashley is going to hurt Theory, and take back his title. Then after that, Lashley and MVP can hit the VIP Lounge, pop some bottles, make some new friends, wink wink. Lashley tells MVP that he didn’t need help from MVP or Omos to become #1 contender. And he won’t need their hep to win the title back. So tonight, let Lashley handle his business on his own. Lashley heads out and MVP says okay, Lashley can handle his business. Will Montel Vontavius Porter be a man of his word?

 

Ric Flair is here!

Philly lets out a “WOO~!” for the Nature Boy, and he has a mic to say, “Celebrating making history. Celebrating 30 years of Raw! You, you keep our lights shining. You keep the Nature Boy stylin’, baby, and profilin’. And like I’ve said over the years, diamonds are forever. And so is Monday Night Raw. WOO~! The WWE has given me so much, given me the opportunity to be so successful. But the greatest gift they’ve given me is the opportunity to watch my daughter exceed all of my goals. And I am so honored, so honored as a father, as a wrestler, as a man, to be here tonight in front of you to introduce to you our very special guest. Really special.

“The greatest Women’s Champion in the history of the WWE, Charlotte Flair! WOO~!” Charlotte makes her entrance now, the SmackDown Women’s Championship around her waist. The Queen struts her way to the ring, high-fiving fans along the way. Charlotte has the mic to say, “It is right here on Raw where we began to revolutionize Women’s Wrestling. It is where I evolved from a Diva, into the FOURTEEN-TIME Women’s Champion! WOO~! Facing names like Ronda Rousey, Nikki & Brie Bella, Asuka, and Rhea Ripley. No, it’s really because of them that I am able to call myself the most decorated athlete of all time. Women’s athlete of all time.

“Now I know I stand here your SmackDown Women’s Champion, but Monday Night Raw will always be my home.” But wait! Here comes Bianca Belair, the RAW Women’s Champion! The EST makes her way to the ring, no stranger to The Queen. Bianca and Charlotte stand in the ring together and fans cheer the EST. Bianca says she respects everything Charlotte’s done for the business. “No one wears a crown like you. Yes, Queen, do what you do! But just not here. Because I go here now. This is my show, this is my home, and you best believe that I do everything that I can to make sure that Raw is the greatest show on television.”

Wait, here comes Sonya Deville! Sonya says, “Oh hold on, hold on. I am so sorry to break up this little pow-wow, but ladies. Do you realize how big a night in Raw history this is? And the two of you are just standing out here, talking about yourselves.” Starting with Charlotte, was it really necessary to fly daddy all the way out here just so he could give her a grand introduction? For a show she’s not even wanted on? And to Bianca, she doesn’t really think fans tune in just for her, does she? That’s a little delusional. But what about people who work so hard to make this show special that don’t get the spotlight every week? People like Sonya.

She did use to run this, y’know. She was Raw General Manager for over a year! Where is HER recognition in all this? Charlotte says she does owe Sonya for the cheap shot on Friday. So Bianca has been killing it, she should handle that. You up for it, champ? Bianca says it’ll be her pleasure! Sonya wants to face the champ, right? She wanted the spotlight, right? So come get in the ring to be the center of Bianca’s attention. That is, if Sonya’s ready to go 1v1 with the EST of the WWE. The ball is in Sonya’s court, will she play the game?

Bianca Belair VS Sonya Deville!

Ras returns and Sonya is playing the game! The bell rings and Sonya circles with Bianca. They tie up, Bianca puts Sonya in the corner but Sonya turns it around., The ref counts, Sonya lets off, and Bianca pushes her. Sonya comes back, waistlocks, but Bianca switches. Sonya switches, Bianca switches again and SLAMS Sonya down! Sonya fight sup, throws elbows, and headlocks. Bianca powers up and out, then she runs Sonya over! Fans cheer as Bianca dusts herself off. Bianca runs, Sonya stays low but Bianca handsprings. Bianca says kiss this, then hurdles. Sonya slides, but turns around into a DROPKICK!

Bianca kips up, fans fire up, and Bianca RAMS Sonya in the corner! The ref counts, Bianca lets off, and she whips Sonya corner to corner. Sonya comes back into a scoop, and Bianca carries Sonya around. Sonya slips off, throws Bianca down by her hair, and then soaks up the heat. Bianca goes to a corner, Sonya storms up and throws kicks and body shots! Sonya stalks Bianca to a corner, she bumps Bianca off buckles, and then Sonya says this will be Charlotte next. Bianca shoves Sonya but Sonya kicks Bianca. Sonya bumps Bianca off buckles, throws body shots, and then snapmares her. Sonya runs, but Bianca avoids the knee!

Bianca rolls Sonya, TWO, and Bianca goes to a corner. Sonya runs into a BOOT! Bianca goes up top, tells Sonya to kiss this, and then she flips over Sonya! Bianca scoops Sonya for a BACKBREAKER! Sonya writhes, Bianca handsprings to MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Bianca and she brings Sonya up. Bianca whips Sonya to the corner, runs in, but Sonya KNEES Bianca away! Sonya whips but Bianca reverses, sending Sonya out of the ring. Sonya gets on the apron but Bianca WRECKS her with a dropkick! Bianca goes out after Sonya, but Sonya grabs at her foot. Bianca kicks Sonya away, then leaps.

But Sonya gets under, to BOOT Bianca down! Fans boo but Sonya mocks the “WOO~!” as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Bianca has Sonya up in a stalling suplex! Bianca marches around before the SLAM! Bianca kips up, fans fire up, and Bianca handsprings to MOONSUALT onto knees! Sonya runs in to BOOT Bianca, high stacks, TWO! Sonya is frustrated but Bianca is the toughEST for a reason. Sonya covers again, ONE! Fans rally for Bianca but Sonya drags Bianca around. Sonya steps through but Bianca kicks her away! Bianca torture racks, for the KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall

Sonya kept trying to send a message to Charlotte and she lost focus on the champion in front of her! Will Sonya earn a title match losing like this?

As for Bianca, she gets a mic to say, “Hold on, hold on. Don’t even think I forgot about Alexa Bliss and the Royal Rumble. Because what I just did to Sonya, is only a preview of what I’m gonna do to Alexa Bliss. Because you know what? She can bring Uncle Howdy, Bray Wyatt, the Playhouse, the Funhouse, whoever, it don’t matter. Nobody and no one is gonna stop them from saying, ‘And still your Raw Women’s Champion, Bianca Belair!'” But then Bliss is on the tron! “Bianca. For the last time. I am your only obstacle. And if everyone would just leave me the hell alone, maybe I wouldn’t have to keep reminding you of that.”

Alexa doesn’t need Uncle Howdy or Bray Wyatt, or anyone to tear Bianca’s face open with her bare hands. But don’t worry, Alexa will spare Bianca’s eyes so she can watch Alexa walk away with the Raw Women’s Championship. A grim warning from Twisted Miss Bliss. Will Alexa make Bianca the scaredEST she’s ever been?

 

The story of Cody Rhodes’ return continues.

Five months ago, Cody started on his rehab. He wants to not only make his comeback at the Royal Rumble, he wants to win the Royal Rumble. It feels like it has taken 16 years to get to this point. Not only recovering from injury, but carrying the history of everywhere Cody has been. His first run in WWE, him leaving, and him returning. All the doubt, all the struggle, all the sacrifice, all the heartache. When you’re in the ring and in the moment, you know exactly why it’s working. He was born for this.

Cody is in the prime of his career, only to hit rock bottom. “No human being could’ve kept me from getting in that ring. I looked up at the lights enough, whether that be in the ring or on a table, ready to have surgery.” As his Nightmare Factory mantra says: Put in the work. The doctors know he has the determination to get back, but Cody has to respect nature of the human body. Cody wants us to picture that moment where you’re that close to success, to vindication. And for it to get broken, that was a legitimate knife to the heart.

But at the Royal Rumble, a torn pec, two torn pecs, torn quads, nothing short of his heart failing will stop him. Being in the ring is like oxygen, and Cody wants to breathe again. Cody is putting in the work, envisioning his return. He wants everyone to get off the mountain, because he has made it clear what he wants and why he is going to do it. The American Nightmare is just FIVE DAYS AWAY, will he make this the biggest comeback in WWE history?

 

WWE 2K23’s cover superstar is…

JOHN CENA! He’s worked to earn his place in WWE history, but has faced the agony of defeat. Will you beat Cena like they did? Or will you help Cena right history? Plus, as a pre-order bonus: BAD BUNNY!

 

The Miz is here!

And he doesn’t look happy. “Thirtieth anniversary of Monday Night Raw, one of the biggest nights in the history of the show, and where’s my MizTV?! Where’s my championship match?! Where’s my celebration of all of my amazingness that has happened? All of my moments on Monday Night Raw! I am the first-ever Grand Slam Champion in the history of this company, and I deserve!” Fans are cheering, but not for Miz! In comes KEVIN OWENS! Kevin turns Miz around for a STUNNER!! Well, that’ll be a highlight for the show. Kevin then grabs the mic out of Miz’s hand as fans chant for “KO! KO!”

Kevin tells Roman, “You might’ve said Sami Zayn is not guilty, but let me tell you what you are guilty of.” Roman is “guilty of having held the WWE Universal title hostage for over two years now!” But on Saturday, at the Royal Rumble, Kevin will give us his word, from everyone in the building and to everyone watching at home, that he will do everything he can to change that and take that title and give everyone a champion they can be proud of! Philly likes the sound of that! Kevin continues to say, “And I guarantee you, I will just keep fighting until I have nothing left. On Saturday, I’m taking that title from you, or I’m gonna die trying!”

Kevin throws down the mic, but Miz gets back up. STUNNER!! Miz is down, and Kevin has thrown down the gauntlet! Will Kevin #StunTheWorld and dethrone the Tribal Chief once and for all?

 

WWE United States Championship No Disqualifications: Austin Theory VS Bobby Lashley!

The Now of the WWE vows he is also the future and the forever of this title. But when going 1v1 against The All Mighty, will forever come to a quick end?

Raw returns as Lashley makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and with nothing holding them back, we see what will be left of The Now!

The bell rings, Lashley powers Theory to a corner, then he fires off fists! And then he stomps a mudhole! Lashley digs his boot in, throws more hands, but Theory fights back. Theory headlocks, but Lashley SLAMS him down! And then clotheslines him out of the ring! Fans fire up as Lashley paces around. Lashley goes outside, drags Theory up and RAMS him into barriers! Fans fire up while Theory writhes. Lashley fireman’s carries Theory, and POSTS him! Philly fires up as Lashley stands tall, and Raw goes picture in picture.

Lashley drags Theory back up, clinches and RAMS him into more barriers! Theory staggers away, but Lashley follows after. Lashley clinches again, to RAM Theory into more barriers! Theory scrambles into the ring but Lashley pursues. Theory scrambles back out of the ring, but Lashley pursues. Theory goes under the ring, but Lashley drags him back out. Lashley THROWS Theory into more barriers! Lashley looms over Theory, drags him back up, and puts him back in the ring. Lashley takes his time returning while Philly fires up. Lashley stalks Theory to a corner, and Lashley throws back elbow after back elbow. Lashley then TOSSES Theory out of the ring!

Lashley goes outside, starts looking under the ring, and fans fire up. Lashley CLUBS Theory down, then goes back to look under the ring. Theory CLUBS Lashley in return! Theory goes to bump Lashley off the desk, but Lashley blocks that to ROCK Theory! Lashley pushes Theory against the barrier, then throws elbow after elbow! Fans fire up, getting closer to the action. Lashley brings Theory around and RAMS him into the barriers! Lashley then turns Theory around, for a NECKBREAKER to the floor! The ref checks Theory but he’s okay to continue. Lashley leaves Theory behind to bring out a TABLE! But Theory KNEES Lashley away!

Theory hears the fans fire up for the table, so he puts it back under the ring! Theory CLUBS Lashley, puts him in the ring, and goes to the apron. But Lashley gets up to CLUB Theory! Lashley brings Theory around to bump off buckles. Lashley whips corner to corner, then runs in to RAM into Theory! Raw returns to single picture as Lashley hits another NECKBREAKER! Fans rally behind Lashley as he stalks Theory. Lashley suplexes Theory, but Theory rakes eyes to get free! Theory goes to the apron, slingshots and SHOTGUNS Lashley down! Theory fisherman’s for the AOI SHOUDO! Cover, TWO! Theory rains down fists on Lashley in frustration!

Theory goes out, and he grabs a chair! Theory brings the chair into the ring, aims at Lashley, and SMACKS him on the back! Lashley writhes from the chairshot but Theory wedges the chair in the corner. Theory grins, goes back for Lashley, but Lashley TOSSES Theory to the apron! Theory stands up, Lashley ROCKS him! Lashley runs side to side to BLAST Theory to the floor! Lashley goes out but Theory trips him up! Lashley hits off the apron before falling to the floor! Theory drags Lashley up and in, then he goes looking under the ring. Fans want a table, and Theory brings one out! Theory puts the table in the ring, but goes after Lashley first.

Lashley gets around, HURT LOCK! Theory goes for the buckles but Lashley lets go in time! Lashley then drags Theory out to roll up, TWO! Lashley clinches, COMPLETE SHOT! Theory flounders, Lashley drags him up, and Lashley RAMS Theory into the chair! The chair goes flying, Theory flops out to the floor! Fans fire up as Lashley sets up that table Theory brought in! The table is standing in the corner, Lashley fetches Theory. Theory crawls under the ring, Lashley drags him back out, but Theory BLASTS Lashley with the fire extinguisher! Theory RAMS Lashley into steel steps! Philly boos as Theory stands tall, and Raw goes picture in picture.

Lashley writhes on the ground while Theory grits his teeth. Theory soaks up the heat from the fans before he goes looking for more things to use. Theory brings out another table, and he puts that one in the ring. Theory sets this table up in the other corner, leaning it against the buckles. Then he goes back to BLAST Lashley with more fire extinguisher spray! Lashley sputters and staggers away but Theory goes after him. Theory puts Lashley in the ring, soaks up more heat from Philly, and then stalks Lashley. Theory brings Lashley up, throws hands, then headlocks to bring Lashley around. Theory whips, but Lashley blocks!

Lashley throws hands to then whip Theory! Theory stops himself from hitting the table, and he kicks Lashley to throw him back out. Theory soaks up more heat from the fans, and says, “It’s MY time!” Theory goes out after Lashley, but Lashley blocks the bump off the steps. Lashley throws haymakers, then puts Theory back in the ring. Lashley stalks Theory, but Theory dropkicks Lashley’s legs out! And hits a DDT! Theory grins as he goes to the apron. Theory talks trash on Philly, climbs up the corner, but Lashley ROCKS him first! Lashley climbs up, throws more hands, and then brings Theory up.

Theory resists, Lashley throws more hands, and Raw returns to single picture. Fans fire up as Lashley hits a SUPERPLEX! Both men are down and Philly fires up. Lashley throws hands, Theory throws them back. They go back and forth, Lashley blocks a kick to ELBOW, and then gut wrench! Canadian Rack, DOMINATOR! Lashley waits on Theory to get up, then runs in. But Theory KICKS the spear away! Theory fireman’s carries, but Lashley slips off! HURT LOCK!! Theory flails, but MULE KICK LOW BLOWS! Theory grins as he brings Lashley up, but Lashley hits a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER through the table!!

BUT WAIT! BROCK LESNAR IS HERE?!? The Beast is grinning ear to ear, because Lashley was wrong! Lashley and Lesnar are NOT done, and Lesnar storms right into the ring! Lesnar hauls Lashley up, F5!! Lesnar drags Theory up, to F5 him ONTO LASHLEY! Cover, Theory wins!!!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

Lesnar screws Lashley all over again! And Theory is again the one who benefits from it all! Is Theory really The Now if he keeps getting lucky? And are we going to see Lashley VS Lesnar at the Royal Rumble again?


My Thoughts:

This was a great episode for Raw, though not as epic as they wanted us to think. The steel cage match turning into a steel cage beatdown was lame, but word is they had to cut it to that because, being that this is live television, the opening segment went long and other segments couldn’t be sacrificed. In all fairness, the Tribal Court also being an adjustment because members of the Anoa’i family couldn’t make the trip, they probably didn’t have the timing worked out. But it was still a great segment that really added some depth to this story with Sami and the Bloodline. Jey stepping up to defend Sami was such a great move.

The Raw Tag Team Championship match was also awesome stuff, especially with the substitute move like we got out of Judgment Day’s match in the tag gauntlet. Kevin and Miz was so short, I almost feel like it wasn’t really needed, but I suppose Kevin needs to say something in response to Roman making a big deal out of grilling Sami. And Miz in character really would be upset he got snubbed on Raw 30. Sami’s final test is definitely about whether or not he can screw over Kevin the same way The Bloodline has screwed over every other challenger Roman has faced. Sami will have a bigger internal conflict than any time before, who knows what we’ll see.

Good stuff with JBL, Corbin and the legends. I like that the legends had no idea who Corbin was, but of course they responded to him having fat stacks of cash. And Corbin winning the last hand only to be shafted by IRS was hilarious. Great stuff out of LA Knight, Bray Wyatt and Taker. American Badass Taker showing up was a huge surprise in itself, and while he didn’t quite get the motorcycle out smoothly, that was minor compared to how great it was to see him and Bray in the ring together again. Now, we still don’t know what to expect from the Pitch Black match, but at this point, even with go-home math in his favor, I don’t see Knight winning.

We got a hilarious segment out of DX and Angle. I was just waiting for them to realize Angle was even there, and Angle having the DX shirt and a ref shirt was great stuff. And of course we had to bring Teddy Long out to make a match. Though, Teddy was the SmackDown GM when he did that… Well, anyway, great Six Man Tag out of Rollins & Profits VS Imperium, and as the Raw superstars and Faces, it makes sense for Rollins & Profits to win. That adds some hype to what we’ll see in the Royal Rumble match, and what we could one day see out of Rollins VS Gunther 1v1 in the future. And great vignette from Cody to further hype his return. At this rate, is he going to enter #1?

Great promo from Charlotte, Bianca and Sonya, and really good match out of Bianca VS Sonya. Bianca winning makes sense, and of course we heard from Alexa. If Bianca stood tall here, go-home math suggests something could happen to help Alexa win. At the same time, with them still making the fuss over Uncle Howdy possibly being behind Alexa, this is still going to come down to that. Uncle Howdy could be why Alexa loses, but also why Alexa wins, and they can tell a story from there. As for Sonya, she could still be Charlotte’s challenger for the Rumble, or she just gets in the Rumble to see if she can go to Mania.

Good promo from MVP and Lashley to further tease the return of Hurt Business. And while we got a great main event out of Lashley VS Theory, I could not believe Lesnar showed up to screw Lashley over again. I suppose Lesnar VS Lashley had to happen one more time to finish the series, but I thought it’d be more a WrestleMania thing than a Royal Rumble thing. But at the same time, if Lashley had won the title here, it’d be hard to give a reason for why Lesnar wouldn’t want the title. Well, the obvious reason is that Lesnar is so far above title, he just wants money for the big events. So whatever, we’ll get Lesnar VS Lashley Round 3, the final round, and Lashley will still have an open Mania card.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Elimination Chamber Results & Report! (2/24/24)

WWE goes Down Under!

Published

on

Who survives Perth to head for Philadelphia?

The Road to WrestleMania passes through Perth, Australia, with two massive Elimination Chambers! Who will face Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins for the World Heavyweight Championship?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Show – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: The Kabuki Warriors VS Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell; The Kabuki Warriors win and retain the titles.
  • Women’s World Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Becky Lynch VS Raquel Rodriguez VS Naomi VS Liv Morgan VS Bianca Belair VS Tiffany Stratton; Becky wins and will challenge for the title at WrestleMania 40.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: Finn Balor & Damian Priest w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Tyler Bate & Pete Dunne; Finn & Priest win and retain the titles.
  • World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre VS LA Knight VS Bobby Lashley VS Kevin Owens VS Logan Paul; McIntyre wins and will challenge for the title at WrestleMania 40.
  • Women’s World Championship: Rhea Ripley VS Nia Jax; Rhea wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Elimination Chamber Kickoff Show!

Join Megan Morant, Sam Roberts & Peter Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all the action on the golden shores of Perth, Australia!

 

The Rock has a message!

“Oh, I know, everybody wants to know what’s happening down in Perth, Australia. It’s gonna be this weekend, right? Is that right? Yeah, The Rock knows when it’s happening, y’know why? Because they kept asking The Rock, ‘Rock, will you go down to Perth? Will ya come down to Perth, Australia?’ Listen, The Rock can’t be there in Perth, he wishes he could be there in Perth, he’s gonna be there in spirit and that’s all that matters. The People’s Champ’s spirit is gonna be there in Perth. But here’s who else is gonna be there in Perth: Grayson Waller, doing the Waller Effect. It’s that show, it’s a big show.

“It’s a big show here in the states, and it’s an even bigger show down there in Australia? Y’know why? Y’know why, Dumbo? Because Australia is his country, it’s his home country, the people are gonna go crazy for him. But here’s what’s happening. Here’s the BS that’s happening now down in Australia. Cody Rhodes and his little girlfriend, Seth Rollins, are gonna go on the Waller Effect. Here’s the thing, I need you, and you, and this goof holding the camera and this one holding the microphone over here, I need all of you guys to make sure that Perth knows this some BS happening.

“And if those guys, meaning Cody and his little girlfriend, Seth, if they start talking trash, let The Rock know. Tell The Rock. Because here’s what’s gonna happen: The Rock is gonna slap the piss out of both of them, just like that. As a matter of fact, if those two talk trash, The Rock will fly down there to Perth before that interview is over and he’ll do it. Don’t wonder why The Rock can make it that quick, The Rock makes magic happen. Do you understand? All right, that’s all The Rock has to say about Perth. Perth, Australia, get ready because the WWE is coming. Let The Rock know if those two jabronies talk trash. IF YA SA-MELLLL~… what The Rock… is cooking.”

 

Kickoff Show – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: The Kabuki Warriors VS Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell!

It was just last night on SmackDown that Asuka & Kairi Sane made good on their promise to get Dakota Kai back. But now, they must shift things from personal to business as they take on the Poison Pixie and the hometown hero, #IndiWrestling! Will Damage CTRL return to the US still golden? Or will Candice & Indi find the way to win?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see what it takes to take control!

The teams sort out and Kairi starts against Indi. The fans fire up already as Indi and Kairi circle. They tie up, go around, and Indi headlocks. Indi grinds Kairi down, Kairi throws body shots and powers out, only for Indi to run her over! The fans cheer and Indi smiles, but Kairi scrambles away. Asuka coaches Kairi up and Kairi rests with Indi. Kairi gets around Indi, CLUBS away on her, but fans boo. Kairi headlocks, grinds the hold, but Indi fights up. Indi lifts Kairi and fans cheer as Indi shoves Kairi away. Indi drops down, hurdles, and BOOTS Kairi! The fans fire up again as Indi drags Kairi over and tags Candice.

Indi scoops to SLAM Kairi, then she and Candice combine, inverted wheelbarrow SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Candice keeps on Kairi with a wrench but Kairi stomps Candice’s foot! Kairi brings Candice over, tag to Asuka and Kairi feeds Candice to Asuka’s boots! Asuka taunts Candice, taunts the fans, and soaks up the heat. Asuka pie faces, but Candice blocks the kick! Candice spins Asuka to fire off CHOPS and haymakers! The fans fire up with Mrs. Wrestling as she fires off in the corner! Candice runs in to back body block, then snapmare and STEP-UP SENTON! Cover, TWO! Asuka hangs tough but Candice facelocks.

Asuka RAMS Candice into a corner! And again! Asuka backs off to go corner to corner, but Candice ELBOWS her away! Candice goes up, but Asuka runs back in. Candice BOOTS Asuka away again, and Asuka fakes pain to distract the ref. This allows Kairi to SHOVE Candice down! Fans rally for Candice & Indi but Asuka goes out to fetch the Pixie. Asuka CLUBS Candice, puts her in the ring, but Candice crawls for her corner! Asuka CLUBS Candice down, drags her over and tags in Kairi. Kairi TOSSES Candice to an open corner, then she mocks the fans as she walks the plank. Kairi runs in, SLIDING D misses!

Candice and Kairi crawl, hot tag to Asuka! Asuka gets Candice’s foot, ANKLE LOCK! Candice still hops and hops and reaches out! But Asuka reels Candice in, GERMAN SUPLEX! Asuka tells Indi to kiss this, then SLIDING KICK takes Candice down! Tag to Kairi and she climbs. Fans boo, but the FLYING KABUKI ELBOW hits! Cover, TWO! Candice stays in this but Kairi keeps on her with an armlock. The fans rally, Candice fights up and fires forearms! Candice reaches out, Kairi holds on, but Candice still fights. Kairi knees her low! Kairi puts Candice in the corner, tags Asuka, and Asuka HIP ATTACKS Indi down!

Fans boo but the Kabuki Warriors double whip, sidestep, KICK, AX KICK and BULLDOG into the basement DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up but Asuka calls to Kairi again. They coordinate, Asuka whips Candice in but Candice uses that to BLAST Kairi down! Candice BOOTS Asuka, slips under her, and reaches out! Asuka grabs Candice’s foot to drag her back! But Candice ENZIGIRIS free, hot tag to Indi! The fans go wild as Indi rallies on the Kabuki Warriors! LARIAT after LARIAT, and then she brings them together, for a meeting of the minds! Kairi and Asuka fall back, Indi kicks and CLUBS and JABS Asuka!

Indi whips Asuka, for a SPINEBUSTER! Kairi returns, SPINEBUSTER onto Asuka! Indi covers Asuka, TWO!! Asuka keeps the Kabuki Warriors in this but Indi puts Asuka in the ropes. UPPERCUT and BOOT! Asuka sits on the apron, Indi runs up to CROSSBODY her through the ropes! “AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!” “OI OI OI!” Indi puts Asuka in, tags Candice, and they get Asuka up. Candice kicks at Kairi while Indi hits the FULL NELSON FACEBUSTER! Candice LIONSAULTS! Cover, Kairi breaks it! Fans boo but Kairi drags Candice up to whip. Candice reverses to send Kairi out! Tag back to Indi and fans fire up!

Candice CROSSBODIES Kairi on the outside! Indi drags Asuka up, but Asuka throws URAKEN after URAKEN! GERMAN SUPLEX! Indi flounders, but she ducks the buzzsaw! Roll up, TWO!! Asuka escapes but Indi runs up to DECK her! Tag to Candice and Candice goes up. Indi gives her some help, but Kairi trips Indi and that trips Candice! Kairi POSTS Indi, then calls to Asuka. Asuka brings Candice over, tag to Kairi! Kairi climbs, Asuka has Candice in position! InSANE DDT!! Cover, Kabuki Warriors win!

Winners: The Kabuki Warriors, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

Candice & Indi tried their hardest, but The Empress of Tomorrow & The Pirate Princess keep their thrones! Will nothing stop DMG CTRL on the Road to WrestleMania? Will Bayley & Dakota Kai be able to change that next Friday Night SmackDown?

 

Rhea Ripley narrates the intro.

“Around here, we have a saying. ‘No worries.’ Well now, you better start worrying.” The most brutal stop on the Road to WrestleMania, the unforgiving, inescapable and yet career-defining Elimination Chamber! “Mami is always on top.” Or is she? Nia Jax looks to put that to the test. Will the Eradicator end up A-Nia-lated?

 

Women’s World Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Becky Lynch VS Raquel Rodriguez VS Naomi VS Liv Morgan VS Bianca Belair VS Tiffany Stratton!

Before Rhea and Nia battle over the title, this match determines who faces the winner in the most brutal way possible! The Man, Big Mami Cool, The Glow, the LIVing End, the EST and the Wrestling Barbie all want their shot, who survives this sinister structure to take it?

Bianca makes her entrance first, followed by Raquel, Tiffany, and Liv, which leaves Naomi and Becky to start things off. The bell rings and the fans fire up as Becky stares Naomi down. They circle, tie up, and go around. Naomi headlocks to hit a takeover but Becky rolls that into her own headlock. Naomi makes it a cover, ONE, and the two stand up. Naomi powers out but Becky rusn her over! THe fans fire up as Becky flexes, then thigs speed up. Naomi drops, hurdles, then runs, but Becky follows. Naomi redirects her to run her over! Fans fire up as Becky goes to a corner and cools off.

Naomi and Becky reset, circle, and the fans rally behind Becky. Becky waistlocks, Naomi breaks free to switch, then they go to rpoes. O’COnner Roll, ONE and Becky has it! ONE and Naomi rolls Becky up, ONE! Naomi trips Becky, jackknife bridges, TWO as Becky bridges up! They spin around, Becky backslides, TWO! Naomi stands but Becky sweeps! Cover, ONE! Naomi sweeps and covers, ONE as Becky goes Matrix! The fans fire up again, and things keep moving! Naomi follows Becky but Becky arm-drags! Naomi arm-drags back! The two stand off and the fans cheer! Becky applauds, too, and offers a handsahke.

Naomi takes the shake, but they both go to kick! They both block and they argue about who lets go. They agree to go at the same time. They keep that clean, but then they throw forearms! Both stagger back, but Becky runs up, only for Naomi to sidestep. Becky tilt-o-whirls and goes for the arm! Naoim keeps the armbar away and rolls Becky, TWO, into the BUTTERFLY CLUTCH! Becky makes it a cover, TWO! Naoim DROPKICKS Becky down! Becky goes to a corner and fans rally up again. Naomi runs up but Becky BOOTS her! Becky runs up but Naomi blocks the buckle bump to KICK Becky! Then Naoim BUCKLE BULLDOGS!

Becky staggers away, Naoim climbs, and Naomi leaps, only for Becky to get under! Naomi handsprings up, into a DROPKICK! Becky runs up, into a BOOT! Naomi whips, Becky reverses, but Naomi goes up. Becky stops her from going over, puts her outside the ring, but Naoim KICKS Becky in the ropes! Becky elbows back, to JUMP KICK Naom into Liv’s pod! Becky brings Naomi around but Naomi stops from hitting chains. Naomi elbows Becky, then tries the same. Becky also stops that, whips Naomi, but Naoim goes up the chains! Becky grabs at Naomi but Naomi TWERK ATTACKS, then RAMS Becky into chains!

Naomi RAMS Becky in again, and again! Becky falls, the fans fire up, and Naomi twerks a bit more before the SPLIT LEG DROP! Naomi shoves Becky into the ring, covers, TWO! Becky survives but Naomi storms up on her. Becky ELBOWS Naomi, but Naomi blocks the mule kick! Naomi spins Becky, dodges her, but DOUBLE CROSSBODIES collide! Both women are down and the countdown is here! The fans duel for who they want to enter, but the Chamber chooses… Tiffany! The fans fire up for Tiffy Time, oddly, and Tiff bumps Naomi off buckles. Tiff cartwheels to get Becky, BUCKLE SLAM!

Tiff handsprings to back elbow Naomi! Then she handsprings to elbow Becky! Tiff snapmares Becky to sit her by Naomi, and she DOUBLE BASEMNT DROPKICKS! Cover on Becky, TWO! Cover on Naomi, TWO! Tiff is annoyed already but she throws forearms on Naomi. Tiff tosses Naomi aside, drags Becky up, but Becky JAWBREAKERS! Becky clinches, Tiff slips free and whips, SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Tiff is even more annoyed but she covers again, TWO! Tiff drags Becky up, SMACKS her off the mat, then pushes Becky around. Becky throws body shots! Tiff knees low, and fireman’s carries!

Becky fights free, grabs an arm, but Naomi is up top! DOUBLE CROSSBODY! Double cover, TWO!! Becky and Tiff both survive but Naomi puts them in corners. Naomi runs to SPLASH Becky! Then SPALSH Tiffy! Becky runs up to CLOBBER Naomi! Becky clinches, for a BECKSPLODER on Naomi! But Tiff DISCUS LARIATS Becky! Cover, TWO! Tiff is frustrated but she, Becky and Naomi are all down. Naomi goes to a corner while Becky and Tiff stand. Tiff fireman’s carries Becky, and uses her to SMACK Naomi! Tiff adds Naomi to the stack, but Naomi slips free! Tiff BOOTS Naomi away, ROLLING SENTONS Becky, then SMACKS Naomi!

Tiff fireman’s carries Naomi now, ROLLING SENTON right next to Becky! Tiff goes up and up, but Becky joins her! SUPER RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! But Naomi runs to DOUBLE SPLIT LEG DROP! Double cover, TWO!! These three are all down again while the other three wait their turns. Naomi KICKS Tiff, scoops and SLAMS Becky, then SPLIT LEG MOONSAULTS Becky! But Tiff stops the cover right away! Tiff POSTS Naomi, covers Becky, TWO!! Becky is tougher than that, and here comes the countdown! The Chamber chooses… LIV! She’s in her fifth Chamber match, and she goes right after Tiff with a THESZ PRESS!

Liv fires fast hands, then she tosses Tiff to the outside. Liv fires off more shots, then RAMS Tiff into Bianca’s pod! And then into the empty one! And then back into Bianca’s! And then back to the empty one! Tiff falls and Liv says it’s HER time! But Becky runs up, only for Liv to ROCK her! Liv gets around to BACKSTABBER! Liv sees Naomi coming, CODE BREAKER! Liv kips up and the fans fire up for the #ELIVinationChamber! Liv goes corner to corner, back body blocks Naomi, back body blocks Becky, repeat! SHINING WIZARD for Naomi! SHINING WIZARD for Becky! Liv goes up to FLYING CODE BREAKER Becky! Cover, TWO!!

DOUBLE STOMPS from Tiff on Liv! Cover, TWO! Liv survives, Naomi SHOTGUNS Tiff! Tiff goes to the outside, Naomi pursues. Tiff JAWBREAKERS Naomi, then cartwheels to cartwheel again, but Naomi grabs the chains! Naomi climbs again, but Tiff won’t let go! Naomi CLUBS away on Tiff, scuffs her, then Becky hurries out to CLUB Tiff into chains! Becky clinches, BECKSPLODER into chains! Tiff sputters, but Becky isn’t done! STEEL CHAIN DISARM-HER!! The fans are torn as Becky tries to tear Tiff’s arm off! Tiff fights free with her good arm, but then Liv drags Tiff into the ring! Tiff elbows free, but Liv drop toeholds her into buckles!

Tiff staggers up, Liv DOUBLE STOMPS her down! Liv then goes up and up, but Naomi’s on a pod!! SUPER BLOCKBUSTER!!! But Tiff rolls Naomi up!! TIFF ELIMINATES NAOMI!! Naomi is stunned but Tiff just smiles and says, “Sorry.” The fans are torn but the countdown is back! The Chamber chooses… Raquel! Ricky Desperado smiles as she CLOBBERS Becky, ROICKS Tiff then LARIATS! And LARIATS! Raquel scoops Tiff to spin and POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Raquel looms over Tiff, stalks her to the outside, but Becky’s up top. Becky leaps, but into Raquel’s arms! Raquel RAMS Becky into chains! And again!

Raquel RAMS Becky into chains again, then FALL AWAY SLAMS her into the ring! Raquel dusts herself off, but Tiff runs up! Raquel stops the rana to bring Tiff around, and SWING her into chains! And again! And again! Raquel dumps Tiff then goes to the ring. She and old friend Liv meet, and Liv fires forearms! Raquel picks Liv up with both hands and TOSSES her to a corner! Then SPLASHES! Then runs in, but she blocks boots to put Liv on the outside. Liv KICKS Raquel in the ropes, runs up, but Raquel blocks the Code Breaker! Raquel SLAMS Liv into chains, then suplexes her to TOSS her into the ring!

Raquel storms up on Liv, drags her back up, and hauls her up, only for Becky to CHOP BLOCK the leg! Liv CODE BREAKERS, Becky fires UPPERCUTS and a SOBAT! Tiff SHOTGUNS, Becky reels Raquel in. Liv joins her for a DOUBLE DDT! Triple cover, TWO!! Raquel still gets out of that, so Tiff, Liv and Becky brawl with each other! Becky fires off on Liv, but Tiff LARIATS Becky! Everyone is down, and the countdown is back! And we all know that Bianca is next! Tiff eggs her on, but Bianca dodges to SLAP Tiff! Bianca throws Tiff around, shoves her in a pod, and then closes the door! Bianca ROCKS Becky, then runs up to run her over!

Bianca rallies on Becky, DROPKICKS her, then scoops Liv for a GUTBUSTER! Becky is back but Bianca suplexes her! And holds her up, marches around, and then SLAMS her down! The fans fire up as Bianca kips up! Tiff is back, she pulls Bianca’s braid! Bianca whips Tiff away, then SPINEBUSTERS her in return! Bianca dusts herself off, fans are torn, but Raquel is back! Bianca is the strongEST, but Raquel is the biggest. Raquel swings, but Bianca ducks to fire off shots! Raquel shoves, Bianca ducks ‘n’ dodges, but Raquel scoops! Bianca slips free, to torture rack! Raquel fights free and BOOTS Bianca! Raquel runs up but Bianca throws her to the outside!

Raquel drags Bianca up and over to join her, then suplexes Bianca to hit the chains! But then Bianca rebounds off ropes to TORNADO DDT!! Bianca drags Raquel to a cover, TWO!! The fans fire up as Bianca waits on Raquel. Raquel stands, Bianca fireman’s carries, but Tiff runs up to ROCK Bianca! Raquel ends up on the top rope, Tiff TOSSES Bianca aside! Tiff CLUBS away on Raquel, but then Liv is up on a pod!? Tiff hurries after her, but Liv leaps to SEATED SENTON Raquel! Becky and Tiff realize they’ve both ended up on the pod together, and they brawl! Becky SMACKS Tiff off Plexiglas, but Tiff fights the clinch!

Tiff SMACKS Becky off Plexiglas, then SHOVES her down onto Raquel! Tiff takes a moment to catch her breath, and the fans fire up as she thinks about how to get down. Tiff says it’s time, and she SUPER SWANTONS onto Raquel, Becky AND Bianca!! All four women are down and the fans lose their minds! Tiff gets in the ring, “This is Awesome!” Tiff and Liv brawl, Liv shoves then dodges but Tiff scoops her! Pop-up and ROLLING SENTON! Tiff goes up and up, but Liv anchors her! Tiff kicks Liv away but Liv goes up, SUPER ObLIVion!! Cover, Liv ELIMINATES Tiff!! The fans are torn but Liv tells Tiff to #CryAboutIt.

Liv crawls to ropes, she sees Raquel and runs up. Raquel ROCKS Liv then BOOTS her! Then she BOOTS Becky! Raquel hauls Bianca up, rebounds off ropes, hits chains then POWERBOMBS Bianca into the ring! Raquel then CHOKE SLAMS Liv! Raquel goes up a corner, and TWISTING VADERS onto Liv! But Becky KICKS Raquel’s arm! DISARM-HER!! Raquel is caught, but she powers up! Becky rolls to bring her down into an ARMBAR!! Raquel clasps hands, fights around and stacks Becky, TWO! Raquel deadlifts Becky, but Becky grabs ropes! Liv runs up, but Raquel has her, too! DOUBLE TEXANAS BOMBS!!!

But Bianca torture racks Raquel! KISS OF DEATH!!! Cover, Bianca ELIMINATES Raquel! The fans fire up as we’re now down to our final three! Bianca is freshEST, but Liv’s been in the most and Becky’s the most determined. Bianca runs up to RAM Liv, runs up but Becky KNEES her! Liv waistlocks but Bianca elbows free! Bianca ROCKS Becky, chicken wings Liv, GlamEST Slam! Becky BOOTS Bianca again, then goes up, but Bianca UPPERCUTS! Bianca trophy lifts Becky to SLAM her onto Liv! They’re side by side, Bianca handsprings to MOONSAULT! Double cover, TWO!! Bianca is frustrated but she’s still the only one up.

Bianca runs at Becky, Becky dodges but then Bianca blocks the kick! Bianca torture racks Becky to HOTSHOT her, and RAM her! Becky hits chains, Liv BACKSTABBERS Bianca! Liv goes up the ropes to FLYING- NO, Bianca stops the rana to SWING Liv into chains! Bianca hauls Becky up, smacks her off chains, then does it again! Becky sputters but Bianca eggs her on. Bianca fireman’s carries, then swings at Liv. Liv ducks the KICK, KICK and that sends Becky and Bianca into chains! Liv ENZIGIRIS Bianca down, the fans rally up, and Liv gets around Bianca to motorcycle stretch and BOOT Bianca into the pod!

All three women are down but the fans rally back up. Liv storms after Becky but Becky sends her into chains! And again and again and again! Becky then dragon sleepers Liv, kicks Bianca, and she DOUBLE DDTS! Becky puts Bianca in the ring, goes up a corner, and Becky climbs, only for Bianca to ROCK her first! Bianca ROCKET LAUNCHES Becky! Becky goes to another corner, Bianca RAMS her! Bianca goes up and rains down fists! The fans count along, but Liv stops this at nine! Liv pulls but Bianca holds on. Bianca kicks Liv away but Liv CLUBS away on Bianca’s buns and thigh! Liv then springboards to SUNSET POWERBOMB!! Cover, TWO!!!

Bianca survives but Becky’s up top! Becky aims, MISSILE DROPKICK to Liv! Cover, TWO!! Becky is frustrated but she focuses on game-planning. Becky goes up but Liv trips her up! Liv ROCKS Becky but Becky hits back! They brawl as Liv climbs, and Liv CLUBS away on Becky’s back. Liv brings Becky up for a SUPERPLEX! Bianca is up top! 450 SPLASH onto knees!! Becky saves herself in time and all three women are down again! The fans rally up and Bianca is after Becky. Liv runs up but Bianca ducks the enzigiri! Torture rack, KISS OF- JAWBREAKER!! Liv counters in time, but Bianca tumbles to ropes. Liv aims, but Becky runs up!

MANHANDLE- CODE BREAKER from Liv! Liv still wants someone, but Becky dumps her out of the ring! Bianca runs up, Becky clinches, but Bianca uses the corner to flip up and out of the Manhandle Slam! Bianca then torture racks Becky, KISS OF- NO, Becky lands out, and Liv rolls Bianca up! LIV ELIMINATES BIANCA!! MANHANDLE SLAM for Liv!!! Cover, Becky wins!!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the Women’s World Championship)

Bianca and Liv cannot believe it, but The Man runs the gauntlet! WrestleMania 40 is about to enter the Big Time, but who will be the Women’s World Champion after tonight?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: Finn Balor & Damian Priest w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Tyler Bate & Pete Dunne!

The Judgment Day has dominated up and down the card, beating teams like Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn, Cody Rhodes & Jey Uso, and most recently #DIY. Will they add the Big Strong Boi & Bruiserweight to that list? Or will the New Catch Republic become the new tag team champions?

The introductions are made, but Dom takes the mic so he can handle the Judgment Day’s introduction. The fans boo the entire time so it’s hard to hear him mention Damian Priest is Mr. Money in the Bank. “ALL RISE for The Judgment Day!” Finn & Priest hold up the belts, but they miss Bate & Dunne CLOBBERING Dom! Dunne then DUMPS Priest out, Bate DROPKICKS Finn, and Dunne ASAI MOONSAULTS Priest! The belt rings, Bate runs to UPPERCUT Finn! EXPLODER! And kip up, to STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Finn kicks Bate, bumps him off buckles then fires off hands!

Finn snapmares Bate, CLUBS him, then paces around. The fans rally as Finn trips Bate, but Bate reaches up, crosses his legs and he brings Finn along to go up the corner! Tag to Dunne before the RANA, then Dunne CLOBBERS Finn! The fans fire up as Dunne grabs an arm, to double knee drop the elbow! Dunne grabs the other arm to twist the wrist and bend the elbow, to then stomp Finn’s ribs! Finn endures as Dunne bends the arm again, isolates it, and stomps it! Finn writhes but Dunne tags Bate. Dunne sets up, Bate hits the KNEE-BOARD SENTON! Cover, TWO! Bate headlocks but Finn endures.

The fans rally, Finn fights up, but Bate smacks him with his boot. Finn powers out, Priest tags in, and Finn drops for Priest to DECK Bate! The fans boo but Priest kicks and kicks and ROCKS Bate! Bate sits back, the fans tell Dom he’s a wanker. Priest suplexes to BROKEN ARROW Bate! Cover, TWO! Bate stays in this but Priest stays on him. Priest tags Finn, they mug Bate, and then Finn CLUBS Bate in the back. Finn clamps on a chinlock, sits Bate down, then he ELBOWS Bate. Finn has the headlock and he grinds Bate in an almost Bully Choke. Bate endures, the fans rally, and Bate fights up. Bate stands but Finn jumps on as a backpack!

Bate stays standing and the fans fire up! Bate RAMS Finn into buckles and is free! Bate reaches out but Finn clamps back on. Finn is again a backpack, but Bate still stays on his feet. Bate RAMS Finn, but into Judgment Day territory! Priest tags in and throws Bate down by his hair! The ref reprimands but Priest stands Bate up. Priest TOSSES Bate to a corner, then ROCKS him! And ROCKS him again! Priest stomps away, the ref counts, and Priest lets off at 4. The fans boo but Priest soaks up the heat. Dom smiles as Priest CHOKES Bate on ropes, but Priest lets off at 4. Priest argues with the ref, and Dom gets a cheap shot in!

The fans boo more but Dom taunts them and commentary. Dunne storms up but Priest DECKS him! Priest runs up to BACK ELBOW Bate! Priest snapmares Bate, tags Finn, and Finn slingshot STOMPS! Finn scoops Bate, BACKBREAKER! Priest runs to add a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Dunne runs up but Priest TOSSES him back out! Priest stalks Bate, tags Finn, and they have Bate in the corner. Finn flexes, runs up, but Bate dodges! But there’s no Dunne to tag! Finn CHOPS Bate, whips him back in, but Bate BLASTS Priest! Bate BOOTS Finn, goes up, and FLYING UPPERCUTS! Both men are down and the fans fire up!

Dunne rises, he reaches out, and Bate gives him the hot tag! The fans fire up as Dunne ENZIGIRIS Finn, GAMANGIRIS Priest, then GAMANGIRIS Finn! ENZIGIRI! Dunne keeps going, LEG LARIAT! Finn flops out of the ring, Dom freaks out as Dunne goes up and out and up again, to ASAI MOONSAULT Finn & Priest! The fans fire up and Dunne hurries to get Finn back in. Dunne STOMPS Finn’s hands! And STOMPS them again! Finn ducks the buzzsaw, shoves Dunne away, but Dunne CHOPS Finn! Tag to Bate, then Dunne gets around Finn! REBOUND LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO!! Cover, TWO!!

Finn survives but Bate keeps on him. Dom is worried as Bate UPPERCUTS Finn! And UPPERCUTS again! And again! But Finn tripos Bate to STOMP him down! Tag to Priest, Priest runs at Bate in a corner. Bate dodges and the splash gets buckles! Bate fireman’s carries Priest but Priest slips free, BELL CLAP! ROUNDHOUSE! Then a ROUNDHOUSE for Dunne! Priest hammerlocks and LARIATS Bate! Cover, TWO! Bate survives and Priest is annoyed, but he talks trash. This is what you get for stepping into Judgment Day’s world! Bate URAKENS Priest! Finn tags in, Bate dodges Priest but Finn KICKS low!

Priest and Finn combine, SIDEWALK SLAM REVERSE DDT COMBO! Cover, TWO!! Bate survives and Finn snarls while the fans rally up. Finn stomps away on Bate at the ropes! The ref counts but Finn stops at 4. Bate rises, Finn runs up, but into a DEEP BLUE THUNDER! Priest runs in, Bate sends him into Dunne’s GAMANGIRI! Bate then fireman’s carries, for the AIRPLANE SPIN! The fans fire up as Bate goes around and around and around, and around, and around! That’s at least TWENTY rotations by now, but Bate is still going! SPINNING SLAM!! Priest and Bate are both dizzy, but Bate manages the tag to Dunne!

Dunne & Bate give Finn TOP BINS! Then Bate DIVES to take out Priest! Dunne has Finn, BITTER END!!! Cover, DOM gives Finn the ropebreak!! The fans boo but Dom gets away with one! At least, mostly because Bate knows! Bate tells the ref about it, so the ref EJECTS Dom!! The fans fire up but Dom throws a fit! Extra refs come out to usher Dom away and fans say, “Hey hey hey! Goodbye~!” Dom is defiant, though, so Bate CLOBBERS him! But then Finn RAMS Dunne into Bate and rolls Dunne up, TWO!! Dunne escapes, but Finn SLINGBLADES! Finn fires up, aims from the corner, and SHOTGUNS Dunne into buckles!

Dunne falls into a drop zone and Finn hurries up top! COUP DE- NO, Dunne dodges! Dunne grabs the arm, to SNAP the fingers!! Finn writhes, Dunne tags Bate! New Catch Republic gets Finn up, DOUBLE TYLER DRIVER!!! Cover, PRIEST yanks Bate out! At least that was more legal than Dom’s move! “This is Awesome!” as Dunne stands on Priest’s fingers! Then STOMPS them! Dunne leaps outside, but Priest catches him, APRON FLATLINER! Priest tosses Bate but Bate rebounds to LARIAT Priest! Bate hurries back in, ducks ‘n’ dodges, COMEBACK- NO, Finn catches Bate for BLOODY SUNDAY!! Cover, TWO!!

Bate survives and Finn is seething! Finn says time to end this! Tag to Priest, and Priest brings down the straps. Priest soaks up the heat before he hauls Bate up. Finn goes up, Priest lifts Bate, but Bate RANAS out of Razor’s Edge! Priest tumbles into Finn! Finn falls, Bate rolls Priest up! TWO!!! Priest escapes, but Bate tags Dunne! They DOUBLE STOMP Priest’s hands! BUZZSAW! BUZZSAW! But Priest catches both men! DOUBLE SOUTH OF- NO, they both flip free! Double Bops up, DOUBLE BANG!! Then double torture racks?! Shoutout to Mustache Mountain! DOUBLE BIRMINGHAMMER!!! Cover, TWO?!?!?!

Priest survives and somewhere, Trent Seven is disappointed! The fans are still thunderous, and Dunne tags Bate. They get Priest with furious fists from all sides! The ref reprimands, Dunne lets off but Bate keeps going. Bate fires up, runs side to side and tags Dunne, GAMANGIRI! GAMANGIRI! Then DOUBLE GAMANGIRI!! Dunne roars, he hauls Priest up and Bate joins in. They both climb up to bring Priest up, but Finn anchors Priest’s foot! Priest then grabs each man, Finn tags in before DOUBLE SOUTH OF HEAVEN SLAMS!! Finn goes up, COUP DE GRACE on Dunne!! Judgment Day wins!!

Winners: The Judgment Day, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions)

New Catch Republic came as close as any team has in taking these titles away from Finn & Priest, but they just couldn’t get past the numbers game! Will even WrestleMania 40 meet its Judgment Day?

 

Austin Theory is here?

“The 150 Million Hit Man” is in the ring on the set of the Grayson Waller Effect and he welcomes us to Austin Theory Live. The fans boo but Theory says, “G’day, mate!” He wants to talk to Australia about vegemite. It’s DISGUSTING! But that’s just a snack here, right? So then he had a real Australian meal. He had himself a Blooming Onion from Outback Steakhouse! Oh, they don’t like that? Well alright. Then he’ll introduce to us the Moment Maker, the Aussie Icon, Australia’s own, his boy, Grayson Waller! The fans cheer Waller as he makes his entrance, and he sees UFC fighter, Tai Tuivasa, in the crowd.

Waller walks up, they shake hands, and they both get the golden shoes for the Shoey! The fans cheer as Tai chugs it all down, then Waller joins Theory in the ring. Waller takes the mic to welcome us to the Grayson Waller Effect. The fans cheer, and Waller says this might be the greatest day of his life! And he wants us to do one thing before the greatest GWE of all time. “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” “OI OI OI!” “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” “OI OI OI!” “Aussie!” “Oi!” “Aussie!” “Oi!” “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” “OI OI OI!” The fans cheer and Waller says time to get to it. The biggest story in sports entertainment involve his two guests tonight.

First, the World Heavyweight Champion, Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins! The fans cheer and sing along as the Visionary makes his entrance, wearing a suit that is purposefully baggy, and also has cords on it. Rollins revels in the singing, which bores Theory, but then Rollins takes a bow. Waller says his second guest is the winner of the 2024 Royal Rumble, “the man who can thank the ineffectiveness of the American education system for not being able to finish a story,” The American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Cody makes his entrance in a normal suit, and now fans sing with Cody’s song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets an extra big pyro as he gets in the ring!

Cody and Rollins sit with Waller while the fans chant for Cody. Cody asks Perth, “What do we wanna talk about?” Waller says hold on, this is his show. What HE wants to talk about is to acknowledge their Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. The Tribal Chief appreciates that. But Rollins, Waller doesn’t care about who wins the Chamber, he wants to know who Rollins wants to face. Oh, well, the Chamber is stacked, who knows who wins, but he has a scoop. Oh? Here we go! Yeah, Rollins has an inside track, some secret info. Does Perth wanna know a secret? “YES!” Alright, then. Rollins… is just days away from being medically cleared to compete!

The fans like the sound of that! Rollins says whoever wins the Chamber will get a crack at Rollins’ World Heavyweight Champion. And newsflash: they don’t stand a chance. Because it’s WrestleMania 40, the biggest Mania of all time! The world is gonna sing Rollins’ song, “WHOA~ OHH~ OHHH~!” and Rollins will do what only Rollins can, put on a show like nobody else! Because he is a Visionary, he is a Revolutionary, he is SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS! Big pop. Rollins sits back down and Waller says cool story, bro.

Now, Cody, we had the opportunity to have the biggest Mania main event of all time: Roman Reigns VS The Rock. The fans boo and Rollins sticks out his tongue. Waller asks if Cody was being selfish taking that away from the fans. The fans chant “Rocky Sucks! Rocky Sucks!” Cody doesn’t want it twisted, he is a fan of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. And if The Rock were here, The Rock would probably call Cody a candy ass, prattle on about rooty poo, insult Cody. What is it he calls Cody’s fans again? Waller knows, it’s Cody Crybabies. Theory claps and Cody says yes, Cody Crybabies.

But Cody wants to ask Perth: Are there any Cody Crybabies in here tonight? The fans cheer and Cody wants to double check, the pyro got to his hearing. Are there any Cody Crybabies in here tonight? The fans cheer even louder! Rollins says yes, seems there are. The fans chant for Cody again, and Cody says one thing The Rock wouldn’t wanna talk about is the conversation that led them to this point, why Cody was going to step away from that WrestleMania main event just to step right back in. Waller says hold on, he’s talking about The People’s Champion! Cody does what he’s told. Oh, People’s Champion?

That is a grand and lofty title, one you can’t self-appoint. Maybe at one point, The Rock was The People’s Champ. But to Cody, to be the People’s Champ, you have to actually be around the people! The fans cheer that, and Cody says that while Seth had an announcement, here’s one from Cody. Cody tells The Rock that he indeed slapped Cody across the face. And at WrestleMania 40, Cody faces Roman in the main event. But until then, the card is wide open! So let’s make it official! Cody wants The Rock 1v1, any time, any place!! The fans fire up for that and Rollins stands up to stand with Cody. Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!”

Rollins tells Cody and Perth, let’s cut the head off the snake once and for all! Rollins admires that challenge, but when it comes to The Bloodline, we all know that there is no such thing as 1v1. So if and when The Rock decides to take Cody up on this challenge, just know that Cody won’t be fighting that battle alone. Waller says there you have it! Another scoop on the Grayson Waller Effect, the greatest talk show in WWE! Theory says hold on there. Cody thinks he’s gonna face The Rock? Is that what you think? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Rollins laughs at Theory’s pretty decent Rock imitation.

Yeah, it was good, but here’s more. Finally…! Austin Theory has come to Perth, Australia, to finish his story. Rollins laughs more and says this is good. But hey, does he have the big one? Y’know, the one. Jacket off, show ’em what it’s all about. Theory takes his jacket off, “IF YA SMELLLLL-” Rollins THROWS Theory into the Waller sign! CODY CUTTER! Waller is stunned as Theory is down and out! Waller says okay, fine, and he backs off. Rollins lines up the shot, to CURB STOMP Theory! The Visionary and the American Nightmare show they make a powerful combo, will they be just what the WWE Universe needs to finally The Bloodline’s tyranny?

 

World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre VS LA Knight VS Bobby Lashley VS Kevin Owens VS Logan Paul!

As the Visionary just said, he is 100% and ready for whoever comes out of this match! The Viper, the Scottish Terminator, the Mega Star, the All Mighty, the Prizefighter and the Maverick are just as ready, but who proves they are worthy by making it through the Chamber?

Kevin Owens makes his entrance first, followed by Lashley, Logan, and Orton! That leaves Drew McIntyre and LA Knight to start things off in a rematch from just last night on SmackDown. The bell rings and the fans fire up already as Knight and McIntyre stare down. The fans cheer on Knight, McIntyre swings first! Knight counter punches, and again, but McIntyre kicks low. McIntyre CHOPS Knight in a corner, stalks him to another corner, then CHOPS him again! Knight counter punches again! And again! “YEAH! YEAH!” Knight whips, McIntyre reverses but Knight hits a NECKBREAKER! Knight throws more hands, then suplexes!

Fans fire up as Knight goes up a corner. “YEAH!” and FALLING AX HANDLE! Cover, ONE!! McIntyre is tougher than that but Knight keeps on him. But McIntyre RAMS Knight into a corner, then OVERHEAD SUPLEXES! The fans rally, and they taunt McIntyre by chanting for “CM PUNK! CM PUNK!” McIntyre smirks as he brings Knight up and CHOPS again! McIntyre brings Knight around, says night night, and he fireman’s carries! But Knight slips free, and HOTSHOTS McIntyre off ropes! Knight then goes up and out, slingshots in, BACKBREAKER! Knight then basement dropkicks McIntyre out of the ring

Knight runs and FLIES, and he sends McIntyre into chains! The fans rally as Knight throws McIntyre back into chains! Knight drags McIntyre up, SMACKS him off Logan Paul’s pod again and again and again! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” This is like last night and the desk! Logan smirks as Knight SMACKS McIntyre off the pod one more time. Knight and Logan talk some trash that mayhaps needs to be muted, and McIntyre CLUBS Knight! Knight whips McIntyre but Knight reverses to send him into Kevin’s pod! Knight dribbles McIntyre off the Plexiglas again, and Kevin hits the glass in return, hoping to add more impact to McIntyre’s head!

Kevin applauds as Knight whips McIntyre into the Plexiglas again! McIntyre falls in a heap, but fans want all that “One More Time!” Knight says okay, and he brings McIntyre around to RAM him into the glass! Knight puts McIntyre in the ring, the countdown is brought to you by Slim Jim, and the Chamber chooses… Kevin Owens! Kevin gets right in to dodge Knight and ROCK McIntyre! Kevin fires hands on both men back and forth, then fires off on McIntyre! Knight runs in, Kevin dodges and that sends Knight into McIntyre! McIntyre tumbles out, Kevin clinches Knight and hits a CHOKE SLAM! Kevin SENTONS, covers, TWO!

Knight hangs tough but Kevin drags Knight up to CLUB him! Kevin CHOPS Knight, RAMS into him again and again, then whips corner to corner. Knight drops to his knees, McIntyre CLUBS Kevin and throws hands! McIntyre puts Kevin up top, throws hands, but Kevin hits back! McIntyre fires more haymakers, climbs up after Kevin, but Kevin throws body shots! McIntyre drops back, only to ROCK Kevin in return! McIntyre goes up top, brings Kevin up, but Kevin HEADBUTTS! And HEADBUTTS again! McIntyre falls, Kevin hits a FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO! McIntyre stays in this so Kevin goes after Knight.

Kevin fires hands on Knight, fires hands on McIntyre, then whips Knight at McIntyre. Knight reverses, though, so Kevin takes the BOOT from McIntyre! McIntyre runs up but Knight ROCKS him! And again! Knight whips, McIntyre reverses, kick and scoop for a SLAM! But Kevin CODE BREAKER SENTON COMBOS! Cover on Knight, TWO! Cover on McIntyre, TWO! Kevin goes up a corner, mocks Randy’s pose, then fires hands on McIntyre. Kevin kicks at Logan’s pod but Logan says oh, so scary. Kevin runs to clothesline McIntyre in a corner, then puts him up top. Kevin CHOPS McIntyre, goes up after him, but McIntyre fires body shots!

McIntyre shoves Kevin but Knight ROCKS McIntyre! Knight climbs up, but McIntyre throws body shots! McIntyre HEADBUTTS Knight, Kevin ROCKS McIntyre! Kevin and Knight work together, they throw hands and climb up. They CLUB McIntyre into position, bring him up, but McIntyre throws HEADBUTTS in return! McIntyre adjusts, and DOUBLE CROSSBODIES! All three are down, the countdown is back, and the Chamber chooses… Lashley! The All Mighty is unleashed, and he kicks McIntyre, CLUBS him, and fires hands! Lashley bumps McIntyre off buckles, then RAMS into him again and again and again!

Lashley ELBOWS McIntyre, goes corner to corner and ROCKS McIntyre again. Lashley has the fans behind him as he CLUBS McIntyre. Lashley whips, McIntyre KICKS back! Lashley stays up, swings, but runs into an OVERHEAD SUPLEX! McIntyre slowly rises, he goes after Lashley and underhooks, but Lashley wrenches out! Lashley CLOBBERS McIntyre and the fans fire up. Lashley tosses McIntyre out then goes after him. Lashley RAMS McIntyre into chains! McIntyre holds onto ropes but Lashley pries him free to RAM him into chains again! Lashley POSTS Kevin for good measure, but McIntyre throat chops!

McIntyre suplexes Lashley but Lashley fights it! Lashley suplexes McIntyre in return! Lashley stalks McIntyre, Knight runs up but Lashley ELBOWS Knight away. HURT LOCK for McIntyre, but McIntyre fights it off! The bad arm of Lashley’s might be holding him back. McIntyre RAMS Lashley into chains but Lashley clotheslines McIntyre into the ring! Lashley storms in, stares Orton down, then goes back to McIntyre. The fans rally but McIntyre GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! The fans rally, McIntyre runs in but is put back on the outside. Lashley runs up but McIntyere ROCKS him! Kevin runs up, McIntyer ROCKS him!

McIntyre climbs again, leaps but Lashley gets under! Lashley gives McIntyre a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER!! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre survives and Lashley grows frustrated. Knight and Kevin get in the ring, Lashley ROCKS Knight! Lashley gut wrenches Knight but Knight sips free! Lashley ducks a boot but Kevin SUPERKICKS Knight! Lashley rolls Knight up, TWO!! Kevin BOOTS Lashley down, covers, TWO! No one’s out of the match yet, but now the countdown is back! The Chamber chooses… Randy Orton! The fans fire up as The Viper fires off on Knight and Kevin! He throws Knight into chains and ROCKS Kevin!

Orton LARIATS Kevin, LARIATS again, then dodges for the SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up again and Orton drags Kevin up. Orton puts Kevin in the ropes, but Kevin fights and puts Orton outside. But Orton KICKS Kevin in the ropes, brings him out, DRAPING DDT to the chamber floor! A bit double-edged given there’s no real padding on those platforms, but Lashley goes after Knight. NECKBREAKER! McIntyre runs up but Lashley hits a FLATLINER! Orton returns to the ring, Lashley runs in and clotheslines him! Lashley goes to the corner to clothesline Knight! Then a corner clothesline for McIntyre!

Lashley paces, he runs back up to RAM Orton in a corner! SPEAR for Knight! Knight tumbles away but Lashley keeps his focus. Lashley runs up on McIntyre but McIntyre POSTS him! McIntyre gets Lashley up to POST him in the other corner! The ref checks Orton, his back is of concern. Orton seems okay enough to continue, but McIntyre has Knight on the outside. Knight slips free to DDT McIntyre on the platform! All five men are down, and Logan is waiting to be let out! Knight crawls his way into the ring, as does Lashley. Orton is up, he kicks Knight to hit a BIG back suplex! But that may still have done just as much to Orton as it did Knight!

The countdown is back, and Logan has his moment! Except Kevin is waiting…! Logan is scared but Kevin forces the pod open, and he fires off on Logan inside the pod! Kevin dribbles Logan off every wall, then busts his way back out to bring Logan along. Kevin sends Logan into Lashley’s pod, then CROTCHES him on a corner! Logan hobbles away, but Kevin RAMS him into chains! Kevin looms over Logan and says if he wants to be in “their” ring, get in it! Kevin TOSSES Logan over ropes and fans fire up as Kevin clotheslines Logan back out! Kevin pursues, but Logan turns things around and he dribbles Kevin off chains!

Logan fires hands and UPPERCUTS, but Kevin fights the chicken wings to turn around and LARIAT!! Fans fire up as Logan nearly loses his head! Kevin drags Logan up, and he DECKS Logan! But Lashley is there to RAM Kevin through a pod! Lashley aims at Logan now, and he SPEARS Logan through a pod!!! The fans lose their minds as Lashley rises up from the wreckage! Lashley himself says that sucked, because his arm is hurting. The fans chant, “Thank You, Bobby!” for what he just did to Logan. But McIntyre CLAYMORES Lashley down!! McIntyre drags Lashley into the ring, Knight is there to haul Lashley up.

Knight hits a torture rack, but Lashley slips free! HURT LOCK, but Knight fights free! Lashley CLUBS Knight, but the bad arm is bothering him. CLAYMORE AGAIN!!! McIntyre covers, McIntyre ELIMINATES Lashley! The Scottish Terminator has the last laugh, will he meme this one later? Knight kicks McIntyre, they brawl, the fans rally behind Knight. Knight whips and stomps a mudhole, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight spells it out but has to dodge Orton! BIG back suplex! “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” KNEE WASH for McIntyre! KNEE WASH for Orton! But McIntyre ELBOWS Knight in return!

McIntyre climbs, but Knight springs up after him! SUPER DUPER PLEX!! Knight staggers up, into an RK- NO! Knight stops that to B F T!! McIntyre is up, B F T!! But AJ STYLES is here?! And he uses a chair to SMACK Knight again and again and again! The Phenomenal One isn’t letting The Mega Star win this match after keeping him out of it! The fans boo as Styles then takes the chair back from the refs, and puts Knight in a STYLES CLASH onto the chair! McIntyre crawls over to cover, McIntyre ELIMINATES Knight!!

Fans boo more, Styles just screwed Knight and the rest of the field benefits from it! But everyone else is still down, Orton clutching his back. Kevin and Logan find each other, and the fans fire up as they brawl it out! Kevin sends Logan into chains, then AOI SHODOU!!! Kevin leaves Logan behind to aim at McIntyre and Orton. Kevin runs to CANNONBALL McIntyre! CANNONBALL for Orton! Kevin goes up and aims, SWANTON BOMB for Orton!! Cover, TWO!! Orton stays in this despite the pain, but Kevin just goes back to Logan. Kevin stomps Logan down, goes up another corner, and he SWANTON BOMBS onto McIntyre’s knees!

Kevin sputters as McIntyre saves himself there. The ref checks everyone, they’re all okay to continue, and the fans rally back up. Logan sits up and fans boo. McIntyre also stands, he aims at Kevin and has his own countdown. “THREE! TWO! ONE!” CLAY- NO, POP-UP POWERBOMB instead!! But Logan runs u! Logan avoids a kick, Kevin avoids a haymaker, STUNNER!! Logan tumbles away, Orton goes after Kevin. No RKO, Kevin SUPERKICKS instead! Kevin whips, POP-UP- NO, Orton slips free! RKO!!! Orton crawls to cover, Orton ELIMINATES Kevin! Orton writhes from the bad back but he’s still one of the final three.

McIntyre crawls to the chains, Logan is also on the outer platform, and Orton stands up in the ring. McIntyre storms into the ring, glaring at both targets. McIntyre locks onto Orton and Orton locks onto McIntyre. Orton hobbles with the bad back, but he still stands tall to stare McIntyre down. They start throwing hands and the fans fire up! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but McIntyre hits low! McIntyre runs, but into a SNAP POWERSELAM! But Logan RAMS into Orton! And bumps Orton off buckles! Logan fires up, fans boo, and Logan climbs. But Orton trips Logan up! Logan lands hard on his Maverick!

Orton throws hands on Logan, then climbs up. Orton brings Logan to the top, but McIntyre CLUBS Orton! Orton steps down, McIntyre CLUBS him again! McIntyre throws more hands but Orton fires counter punches! They brawl again, GLASGOW KISS! Logan goes up to a pod while McIntyre stops the RKO! NECKBREAKER! Both Orton and McIntyre are down, but then McIntyre kips up! Fans cheer that, but then Logan SUPER CROSSBODIES McIntyre down! All three men are down again but the fans tell Logan, “You Still Suck!” Logan rises, and he brings out BRASS KNUCKLES! He had them in his tights all along!

Logan puts the knuckles on and gives them a kiss. Logan powers up that fist, but RKO!!! Orton risked his bad back but he shut Logan up! Cover, Orton ELIMINATES Logan! The fans cheer the loudest they have yet, and now it comes down to McIntyre and Orton. They both drag themselves up with ropes, but Orton’s back is really bothering him. McIntyre turns him around, kicks low, but Orton wrenches out! RK- NO, McIntyre powers out and runs in! Orton sidesteps, he has McIntyre in ropes! DRAPING DDT!! Orton fires up and the fans are with him! Orton hears the voices in his head as he watches McIntyre stir!

Orton pounds the mat as McIntyre rises, RK- NO!! McIntyre powers out, and SPINEBUSTERS! Orton writhes and McIntyre goes to a corner. McIntyre aims, he wants Orton to get up now! Orton slowly rises, the countdown begins! “THREE! TWO! ONE!” But Orton falls over! The ref checks Orton, but Orton refuses to be taken out by forfeit. McIntyre looms over Orton, Orton pounds the mat in frustration over his own body being beat up. McIntyre grins and chuckles as Orton forces himself to stand, RKO!!!! Orton fires up, but LOGAN PAUL SUCKER PUNCHES ORTON!? Logan hadn’t left the Chamber yet and he screws Orton over!!!

McIntyre crawls to cover, McIntyre wins!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall (NEW #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship)

The ImPAULsive Influencer just influenced this match’s finish! He couldn’t let it go and had to knock Orton out! Will Logan have to watch his back for the Viper? As for McIntyre, he’s still going back to WrestleMania. Will he finally have his moment on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Triple H is here!

The fans fire up as The Game stands in the ring, and he says, “I just wanted to come out here for a second to say thank you. On behalf of the WWE, on behalf of every superstar back there, thank you for inviting us into your home. Thank you for being great hosts. Thank you for this beautiful Optus Arena. It’s been a wonderful night. And I wanna let you know the attendance here tonight, the official attendance: 52,590!” The fans cheer that!

 

Women’s World Championship: Rhea Ripley VS Nia Jax!

Australia is Mami’s home, and this truly be the biggest moment in her career. However, that’s all the more motivation for the Irresistible Force to ruin it! Will the challenger A-Nia-late the champion? Or will the Eradicator still be the most dominant woman in the WWE?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is truly on top!

The bell rings and the fans are thunderous already as Rhea stares Nia down. Rhea smiles as the fans are all behind her. Nia and Rhea circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. They go around, Nia shoves Rhea away, and the fans boo. Rhea stays cool and she dodges Nia to kick, stomp a foot, and SMASH her off a knee! Rhea LARIATS but Nia stays up! Rhea CHOPS, CHOPS, and knuckle locks to go up and up and RANA! Nia staggers to a corner, Rhea DROPKICKS her in! The fans fire and Rhea brings Nia out, to pump handle! Nia elbows free of that and knocks Rhea down, then SENTONS!

Nia dribbles Rhea off the mat, puts her in a corner, and runs up to SPLASH! Nia keeps Rhea up so she can “smile” at the fans. Nia HEADBUTTS Rhea, tells her to kiss this, and then HIP ATTACKS! Nia rubs it in, literally! Nia soaks up the heat, especially from Rhea’s family at ringside. Rhea throws body shots and backs Nia down, but Nia HEADBUTTS Rhea down! Nia drags Rhea around, runs, and drops a leg, brother! Rhea writhes but Nia eggs her on. Nia SLAPS Rhea, Rhea BOOTS from below! Rhea kicks more, but Nia KICKS Rhea in return. Nia pushes Rhea, has the arms and stands on Rhea’s back as she pulls!

Rhea endures, the fans boo, but Nia stomps Rhea down! Nia soaks up the heat, mocks the fans, and then drags Rhea around. Nia grabs a leg for a STRETCH MUFFLER! Rhea endures as Nia stands and has her hanging over the mat! Rhea fights, but Nia shifts right to a HALF CRAB! Rhea endures as Nia kneels on her neck! Rhea still fights her way around, but Nia HIP DROPS her down! Nia soaks up more heat, then mocks Rhea reaching out for her family. Nia stomps Rhea, tells Rhea to say “Mommy,” but Rhea throws body shots! Nia HEADBUTTS Rhea down! Nia torture racks Rhea and bends her!

Fans boo as Nia marches around with Rhea on her back, but Rhea fights around! GUILLOTINE FACELOCK! The fans fire up as Rhea has Nia in the body scissors, too! But Nia powers up and out, only for Rhea to sunset flip! Nia stays up, but Rhea avoids the hip drop! Nia lands hard on her butt, and fans taunt her with “MY HOLE!” Nia stands Rhea up but Rhea fires off fast hands! Nia grabs on with both hands, but Rhea breaks free to knuckle lock and CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Rhea then goes up and up and FLYING RANA, but Nia blocks that one! POWERBOMB! Deadlift, and POWERBOMB again!

Nia drags Rhea around, runs, for another leg drop, brother! Cover, TWO! Rhea survives and Nia grows frustrated. Nia looms over Rhea and brings her up. Nia shoves Rhea into a corner, then goes up the corner! But Rhea DROPKICKS the legs out! Nia ends up in the Tree of Woe, and Rhea hurries up to WOE STOMP her down! The fans fire up while Nia flounders away! Rhea climbs the corner again, aims as Nia stands, MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Nia is tougher than that and Rhea is frustrated. The fans rally up as Rhea stands Nia up. Nia shoves Rhea, Rhea gets around to short arm LARIAT! Nia stays up so Rhea LARIATS again!

Nia stays up, fireman’s carries, and SAMOAN DROPS! Nia roars, runs, but Rhea avoids the leg drop this time! Basement dropkick! The fans fire up as Rhea has Nia down, and Rhea climbs up! Rhea aims, but Nia ROCKS her first! Nia climbs, fireman’s carries, and fans freak out! SUPER SAMOAN DROP!! Cover, TWO!! Rhea survives and the fans fire up again! Rhea writhes but Nia drags her to a drop zone. Nia climbs up, but Rhea gets her in an Electric Chair! And SLAMS her off buckles! Nia falls in a heap, Rhea goes up and gets everyone fired up! Rhea aims, gives some Latino Heat, and hits a FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!

Nia survives and Rhea is beside herself! Rhea stands back up, she storms after Nia and pump handles! But Nia powers out and TOSSES Rhea to the floor! Fans boo but Nia smiles as she goes out after Rhea. But Rhea trips Nia up on the apron! Nia falls hard and Rhea says screw it. Rhea clears the desk! The fans fire up as Rhea hobbles over to Nia. Rhea drags Nia up, reels her in, and says “SUCK IT!” But Nia’s too big to lift from this position, too! Nia fireman’s carries, SAMOAN DROP on the desk! The desk does not break, but maybe Rhea just broke! Nia goes up onto an armchair, to ELBOW DROP through the desk!!

Fans boo as Nia drags Rhea from the wreckage and into the ring. Rhea is in a drop zone, Nia goes up! A-NIA-LATOR!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Nia is shocked and the fans are electric! Nia runs to KICK Rhea in the side, then whips her to a corner. Nia RAMS into Rhea again and again, going after that bad back! Nia throws Rhea down and has her in the drop zone again. Nia climbs again, but Rhea scrambles up to SHOVE Nia down! Nia falls to the apron bug holds onto ropes! Rhea goes up the corner, the fans rally with “MAMI MAMI MAMI!” “OI OI OI!” Rhea hauls Nia up but that’s still too much. Rhea drops back, and Nia HEADBUTTS!

Nia hops off the corner, but then says why not. Nia climbs up! But Rhea goes up after her! Rhea has Nia for the SUPERPLEX!! The Ripley family cheers and the fans go wild as Rhea rises! Nia manages to stand, but Rhea roars as she ROUNDHOUSES! Pump handle, RIPTIDE!!! Cover, Rhea wins!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s World Champion)

That was the biggest Riptide ever, and it washes Nia away! With this win, Rhea not only proves she’s the most dominant woman in WWE, but she proves everything she’s done to get here was worth it! Mami gets her pyro and celebrates with her family, but will she have an even bigger moment at WrestleMania 40 facing down The Man?


My Thoughts:

 


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Andrew’s TNA No Surrender Results & Match Ratings: 2.23.2024

lex Shelley gets his contractual rematch against Moose for the World Title, Gisele Shaw cashed in her Ultimate X for the Knockout’s title shot and the best of 3 comes down to a decisive match between The ABC and Grizzled Young Vets!

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We’ve got ourselves an exclusive TNA+ App Event tonight! Alex Shelley gets his contractual rematch against Moose for the World Title, Gisele Shaw cashed in her Ultimate X for the Knockout’s title shot and the best of 3 comes down to a decisive match between The ABC and Grizzled Young Vets.

There are a few other matches worth some note, but let’s just get to predictions and then the show:

  1. Speedball Mountain (Mike Bailey & Trent Seven) vs The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz) : I see Speedball Mountain winning here purely because its their first official tag match on TNA programming since the Hard to Kill PPV got shifted because of travel issues.
  2. The System (Brian Myers & Eddie Edwards) vs Intergalactic Jet Setters (Kushida & Kevin Knight) : I see The System continuing to establish the faction as a solid force; a little too early for glitches in The System.
  3. X Division Championship: Chris Sabin (c) vs Mustafa Ali : Mustafa winning makes a lot of sense here to me with the fact that he hasn’t been in a TNA ring yet and Sabin holding the title doesn’t really do as much as Mustafa winning. I expect The Good Hands to play a part.
  4. Knockouts Tag Championship: Decay (Rosemary & Havok) (c) vs MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly) : The Knockouts Tags are so irrelevant I don’t really care. I would like MK Ultra to win just because they seem like a more reasonable target for potential tag team threats as opposed to the magical netherworld bullshit of Decay.
  5. Frankie Kazarian vs Eric Young : EY makes the most sense for me here. Kaz is a heel, he can absorb the loss and turn it into maybe joining the system or finding other ways to screw EY down the line to continue the feud.
  6. PCO vs Kon : Another match I don’t care about. I’m gonna say PCO wins only because Kon doesn’t have nearly as much value to me. He’s not imposing, has no real momentum and putting him over PCO lines him up for…what? Ya…nothing, exactly.
  7. Tag Team Title Match: ABC vs GYV : I’ve got the Grizzled Young Vets going over because I feel like pushing an eventual GYV vs Speedball Mountain match is in the tea leaves for 3/4 nostalgia.
  8. Josh Alexander vs Simon Gotch : I think Gotch wins here. Josh needs some time away from the main event scene to build up his hunger. So potential shenanigans happen, but I don’t really know what Josh winning would do for anything aside from vaulting him to a main event scene that people would be more excited to see Nemeth in.
  9. Knockouts Title Match: Gisele Shaw vs Jordynne Grace (c) : I think Jordynne retains because the SHAWntorague is an unresolved albatros that will cost Gisele the match and be a fun way to keep the fire burning for a potential Gail Kim match.
  10. No Surrender Match, TNA World Championship: Moose (c) vs Alex Shelley : Like I said before, I expect The System to continue establishing themselves with this show and no glitches just yet.

So let’s see how many I get right!

Ratings:

  • Eric Young vs Frankie Kazarian: EY wins via Crucifix Pinfall – ***
  • Tag Team Title Match: ABC (c) vs GYV : ABC retains via 1-2-Sweet – *** 1/2
  • Kon vs PCO: PCO wins via DQ – * 1/2
  • Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Decay (Havok & Rosemary) (c) vs MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly): MK Ultra wins via Russian Death Device – ** 1/2 – TITLE CHANGE!!
  • Josh Alexander vs Simon Gotch: Josh wins via C4 Spike – *** 3/4
  • No Surrender Match: TNA World Championship: Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers (c) vs Alex Shelley w/Kushida & Kevin Knight: Moose retains – ** 3/4
  • Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Gisele Shaw: Jordynne retains via Juggernaut Driver – ****
  • X Division Championship: Chris Sabin (c) vs Mustafa Ali: Ali wins via 450 Splash – **** 1/4

 

Results:

I don’t usually cover pre-show stuff so I’ll say here, Speedball Mountain lost, because Maclin made his presence felt to help get the Rascalz the win. The System is working though, so I got that match right at least. So I’m 1-1 out of the pre-show. 

Eric Young vs Frankie Kazarian

The tie ups are close, aggressive for positioning but nothing crazy, EY with a Jaw Jacker, but Kaz cuts off a rope run with a big Body Block. After a slap in the face, EY returns the favor and returns the slap. So Kaz Kitchen Sinks EY, talks crap, EY Kitch Sinks Kaz. This is very simply an “anything you can I do I can do better” style of open. EY tries to toss Kaz to the corner and pull him out, but Kaz pops to his feet and Back Body Drops EY, transitions into the Side Russian Leg sweep and its a near fall.

Frankie goes for a simple Vertical Suplex and then a cover, which is a little silly. Kaz keeps lording over EY, deliberate strikes, slow building offense, and EY tries to get something going with a Knee Lift, but Kaz Scoop Slams him after and goes for his Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop…but misses! EY fires back with a few lariats! They fight to the top, Kaz wants the Flux Capacitor, but EY clocks him, drops him and goes for the Macho Man Elbow…for 2. Corner charge leads to Kaz countering EY as he slips to the apron, EY tries to duck his head through and catches the Leg Drop for a near fall. EY gets whipped to the corner, does the Flair Flop over the buckle, Kaz quickly Slingshots EY in and lands the Cutter for another 2!

After a few moments to collect himself Kaz goes for Fade to Black, EY counters with a Piledriver attempt, but a little countering and slipping but Kaz manages to get him in another Fade to Black…and connects! 1-2-kickout?!? Kaz argues with the ref, EY takes advantage of the distracted Kaz, and Crucifix Pin for the win!

Tag Team Championships: The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) (c) vs Grizzled Young Vets (James Drake & Zack Gibson)

ABC doesn’t come out to the classic Bullet Club music. So I guess Anthem didn’t feel like paying for the rights anymore? So they deserve to lose, music sucks now, GYV forever.

Ace and Zack start and Ace is just angry, stomping away on Gibson in the corner. Ace almost doesn’t listen to the referee, but eventually does, Drake makes a blind tag, Baseball Slide trip to Ace, Sliding Kick to the Face and then Poetry in Motion from the GYV connects flush with Bey and he flies off the corner apron. The two on one continues for a minute, before Ace can flip out of a tandem move, fall back into his corner and get some of their own tandem offense going. Assisted Russian Leg Sweep into the Click Click Boom for 2.

Shortcuts allow the GYV to stifle the onslaught, and Gibson does the ole Launcher into the bottom rope followed by stepping on his neck. Classic heel tactics, Outside In Vertical Suplex, Drake tags in, Gibson hangs Bey on the ropes and Drake brings down the Polish Hammer from the corner. Drake sits on Bey with the Front Neck Lock applied, Bey gets to the ropes, tries to get around things with a Sunset Flip but Drake counters that with a simple punch to the throat. Drake traps him in their corner and tags in Gibson. The verbal assault is more effective than the simple offense, but it also seems to fire Bey a little. Quick strikes, and then a reach to Ace, but Gibson pulls him close and lays into the Sleeper Hold.

Bey does the reach spot again, but this time when Gibson pulls him close, Bey slips behind him and hits the School Boy for a 2 and then snaps off a Neckbreaker. Gibson makes a quicker tag so Drake tries to keep Bey isolated, but Bey slips it, dives towards Ace and Hot Tag from Ace. Slingshot Double Dropkick evens the situation, Fosbury Flop onto Gibson on the outside, runs back in and lands a nice kick combination on Drake into his own solo version of Click Click Boom, but Gibson saves the pinfall. Gibson gets dispatched Twisting Moonsault combo for only 2! 1-2-SW-NO Drake grabs Bey with the Body Scissors and Sleeper Hold while Gibson slides in and Shankly Gates gets applied to Ace. GYV try to fire, Ace tries to do his one handed counter to turn things back for them, but Gibson just grabs him and DOOMSDAY DEVICE on the outside!

GYV point at Bey, Bey fires and meets them head on. Bey throws Gibson into Drake and clocks Gibson but Drake tries to grab him and Bey counters it into a Suplex of his own. Springboard FameAsser levels Gibson. Art of Finesse attempt but Gibson counters, Bey goes to the top, Lung Blower from Gibson and he holds him there while Drake hits a Coast to Coast Dropkick…but BEY kicks out! GYV look for something to put away Bey, but Ace is stirring, drops Drake, and they use the GYV scarf as pay back while the referee is focused on Drake. 1-2-SWEET and ABC retain.

Their new music still sucks. 

Kon vs PCO

Kon attacks PCO on the ramp during his entrance and PCO is amenable to the brawl. PCO does go into the ring, so the match officially starts, and its just Heymakers, Clotheslines and slamming faces into the corners. They trade dropping each other and standing back up. PCO throws Kon out, PCO went for the Dive and Kon side steps and connects with a clubbing blow on PCO’s way down. Chokeslam onto the apron, but PC-NO Sell, and attacks Kon. PCO bounces Kon’s face off the apron, they both head back in just to have PCO Lariat them both back to the outside.

PCO posts Kon, drapes him and looks for the Deanimator…and he…MISSES! Kon slides back in and PCO clips the apron. Kon grabs a chair, and hits PCO causing a DQ?

The DQ finish is stupid, I guess it’s gonna lead to another match at Sacrifice. Kon buries PCO under chairs, throws the ring bell guy around, but PCO bursts out of the chairs and attacks. PCO finally gets the best of the Goozle Face off, pushes Kon over the ropes, dives onto him and then lays into him with a chair.

All the extra attacks are just stupid, Kon even Zip Ties PCO to the Entrance Tunnel and goes for the neck snap spot with a chair wrapped around which makes no real sense. This was a bad finish and then just got progressively more stupid. 

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Decay (Havok & Rosemary) (c) vs MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly)

Donnybrook to kick things off, just an all out brawl, Havok pulls Masha into the ring and I guess that makes them legal. Masha gets sandwiched in the corner, Exploder Suplex from Rosemary. Masha manages to take advantage of a small opening, Kelly gets involved and we get some quick and sadistic offense with Kelly doing some…fun…pin covers. Kelly slaps the taste out of Rosemary’s mouth, but Rosemary just slowly stands up, kinda likes it and ducks the last one to hit a Rainmaker.

Rosemary mounts Kelly, Kelly sits up to get on top of Rosemary, Rosemary returns the favor and they start throwing fists. Masha runs in, talks sense into Kelly and a High/Low style tandem move gives MK Ultra the advantage again. Strike exchange, into a Spinning Back Fist, a few Sambo kicks and Masha looks for the Russian Death Device, but Rosemary slips it into an X-Factor. Simultaneous tags as Masha is resting in the corner, Havok uses her size advantage, throws Kelly into Masha and then a corner Senton kills them both. Assisted Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Masha breaks it up! Masha takes out Havok, catches Rosemary mid Spear and hits the Russian Death Device! Our BDSM Feme Fatal Fever Dream wins!

Josh Alexander vs Simon Gotch

Classic chain wrestling style of opening. Josh has a Headlock cinched in, Gotch counters with the Headscissors and tries to find a wrist lock, and they trade similar style counters and mat based maneuvers. Josh gets a near scare of going from the Armbar to an attempt for the early Ankle Lock, but Gotch immediately finds the ropes.

After taking a beat, an old school test of strength into a Headbutt from Gotch and a response from Josh, then they trade Uppercuts. So we get another match that opens with that “anything you can do I can do better” concept. Josh drops Gotch, plays to the crowd a little and then eats a few kicks to the face. Gotch looks for a few Armbars, and when Josh protects the one side, Gotch tries the other. But Josh manages to fight out of that, and hits the Kurt Angle locomotion German Suplexes. After 3 he holds for a 4th, but Gotch grabs the ropes to force a break and then connects with a big front kick to take control again. A few down strikes, Senton, and Gotch takes a beat to collect himself so Josh tries to roll him up, and Gotch kicks out.

Gotch’s offense is consistent but deliberate. Knee Strikes, Front Kicks, Bootwashes, Uppercuts with Chops after…just really calculated attacked. Josh does fire out of the corner with a Dropkick, but he charges and Gotch tosses him over, Slap and Enzuigiri have Josh crumple on the apron. Gotch looks for a Brainbuster, Josh blocks, strike exchange on the apron, kick drops Gotch, Gotch kicks Josh’s foot out from under him. Gotch tries a Senton on the apron but misses! Gotch sells slowly on the apron so Josh gets his spot for the Low Crossbody through the ropes. Both are wiped out on the floor, but get in at 9. Crawl to the middle and Subury blueberry bulldogs hockey fight time! Okay no of course not, we have to do the played out Fighting Spirit spot, how silly of me. Does it look good? Sure, but its becoming stupid that every match has to have one of these.

T-Bone Suplex from Josh for 2! Straps down, C4- nope, Front Kick counter, Gotch Style Piledriver, nope, both roll through and Bulldog Choke with Josh’s headgear! Because of the headgear, Gotch’s grip slips so Josh turns it into the Ankle Lock, roll off it, strikes, Powerbreaker from Josh into the C4 Spike for the win.

No Surrender Match: TNA World Championship: Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers (c) vs Alex Shelley w/Kushida & Kevin Knight

Shelley starts off aggressive, jamming Moose into the turnbuckles twice, focusing on the left shoulder, which is the side he’s focused on the last month or so. Announce team also points out the announcement that the two teams have different color towels. So that just lines up for the heels to cheat by throwing in the babyface towel since color is all that matters.

While I’m being annoyed at how brain damaged the gimmicks in the match has become, Moose gets tossed out “tweaks” his knee, but manages to power through to Powerbomb Shelley into the apron and then Bow and Arrow him around the post. Shelley goes for the Chop Block on the tweaked knee, then pulls out a chair and plays a little La Parka. Shelley and Moose trade torture spots. Shelley traps Moose’s hand in the buckle chains and uses pliers to squeeze. Moose gets out of it, traps Shelley’s hand twice and cracks him with a chair. Shelley sells the pain into the ring, Moose follows but Shelley hits the Dragon Screw on the tweaked left knee. Shelley then ties up Moose in corner, Dragon Screws, Hamstring kicks, and then Shelley gets a Kendo Stick.

Left knee is the target, and Shelley gets a little sadistic. Cracks the stick into the knee, Kendo Stick assisted Half Crab on the bad leg. Myers distracts Shelley and Eddie grabs the Kendo Stick away. Because it wasn’t direct contact it’s legal, Moose catches Shelley with the Uranage and demands Eddie give him a trash can. Upside Down Trash Can, Moose wants the Superplex, Shelley fights off, bites Moose and slips between the legs and Avalanche Powerbomb into the point of the trash can. Shelley gives a few moments to see if the towel will get thrown, but then goes for the Figure Four. Moose turns it around, but Shelley turns that over. Moose gets handed the Kendo Stick and Moose uses it to break the Figure Four. Moose demands the System get the table and they do so.

Moose tries to Spear Shelley into the table, Shelley dodges and Moose stops himself. Low Blow, Border City Stretch and Moose sells towards the ropes, Myers sees Moose’s extended fingers and slips on Brass Knuckles so Moose can break the hold. Moose ditches the knucks, goes for the Spear into the table again and MISSES! Shelley calls for a chain, Shelley uses the chain for the Border City Stretch, but then all the seconds get involved. Lish tries to take the white towel from Kushida, Shelley grabs it back and hands it to Kushida. Back to Back Lights Out, then Moose wraps the chain around himself and connects with a third Lights Out. Kushida is torn watching, and decides to throw in the towel as Moose lines up the fourth Lights Out.

Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Gisele Shaw

Ash by Elegance comes down to ringside to watch. So will Ash be the one to screw Gisele since their gimmicks are a touch similar?

Gisele tries to powder early and force Jordynne to chase, but she gets caught, bullied a little early and Gisele’s striking gives her a brief moment of offense. Jordynne returns the striking and mobility with some rope maneuvers and a nice tilt-a-whirl side slam for an early pinfall attempt. Jordynne tries to keep the offense going, but Gisele gets a sneaky kick in the way, a Headscissors Driver, and a Corkscrew Splash for 2. The fight out to the apron, Shaw slips Jordynne’s move, tries the Powerbomb, but Jordynne blocks, clocks her, Senton’s Gisele’s face into the apron and starts riding the momentum.

Jordynne looks for the Juggernaut Driver on the apron, Shaw counters with elbows, Spanish Fly from the apron to the floor! Gisele goes for three straight pinfall attempts but Jordynne keeps kicking out. Gisele looks for the Denouement, Jordynne catches it, Spinebuster for 2! Juggernaut Driver attempt 2, Shaw finds the ropes, Shaw Trigger into a Pinfall but Grace grabs the bottom rope. Gisele is slowly snapping as Jordynne is resilient. Quick strikes, both fire and clock the other with Spinning Backfists and Kicks, Gisele goes for a Springboard Cutter, but Jordynne lands on her hands to block. Quick back and forth continues, but the third attempt at the Juggernaut Driver lands! Jordynne retains!

X Division Championship: Chris Sabin (c) vs Mustafa Ali

Simple collar and elbow tie up that runs into the corner break. Nothing fancy, very deliberate. We go into Arm Wringer trade offs chain wrestling before Ali hits a back Elbow to the eye and a headlock to the ground to slow things down. Rope run misses and that stupid Stereo Dropkick spot. At least its out of the way early and I haven’t seen it in a hot minute. Still hate it, but its less annoying I suppose.

Sabin with a Headlock Takeover and then some ground wrestling, a Trailer Hitch, leg pick, pinfall attempt but Ali slides up and dusts his boots off in an arrogant play. Sabin clocks him with a Lariat, but Ali keeps powdering and using classic heel psychology to piss off Sabin. A Headscissors Takedown on the apron is a touch scuffed, but it does enough and everyone is safe. Throws Ali back in, Crossbody from Sabin connects and we see a 2 count. Fighting the corner, the battle up the buckles, Ali gets the best of things and then 450 Splash on the left arm of Sabin as he’s reaching to get back up. Ali STF into a Crippler Crossface and then a Border City Stretch. Ali talks some smack, pins the left arm and then stomps right on the left shoulder. Sabin with a quick fire, both men trade desperation kicks and are laid out.

Getting to his feet first, Sabin fires and connects with a few short Elbows and Lariats, Sole Butt, Ali tries to counter a few things, Sabin shakes off the counters and lands a Tornado DDT from the Middle Rope. Two Roll Up attempts from Sabin, Ali kicks but Sabin floats over into a Crossface. Sabin with a bunch of punches, then tries to climb the buckles and Ali catches him with an Upkick. They fight for the top rope, Sabin shoves Ali off and Ali Backflips and lands on his feet, Dropkick on the flying Sabin connects beautifully. Back in the ring, 450 Splash attempt misses, Ali charges at Sabin but he just does the old ole and Ali’s face bounces off the turnbuckle like he things he’s Bret Hart.

A few strikes exchanged from both, but Ali chops into the throat of Sabin, Sabin keep fighting, Ali tries an Enzuigiri from the outside but Sabin connects with a Rope Assist Gamengiri. Sabin dives, takes out the security, Good Hands show up to give Ali a small opening but it doesn’t lead to anything. Skyler hits the apron to distract and is leveled, Hotch is clocked, Ali School Boy for 2! Clothesline From Hell, Michigan into the Cradle Shock- BUT ALI KICKS OUT! Sabin connects a few stomps, kick to Ali’s face and then crotches him on the top rope. Sabin looking for an Avalanche Cradle Shock…but elbows counter! Sabin eats a Sunset Bomb! Ali pulls himself up and 450 Splash for the win!

 

Overall Score: 7.25/10

Well 7-3 in predictions isn’t too bad if I do say so myself. If it’s good enough for Tom Brady, it’s good enough for me. But honestly, this show was a little weird. Having the World Heavyweight title so low…feels insanely disrespectful; the match was so convoluted even Jade had trouble explaining the rules, and using different color towels is just dumb and sets up very easy shenanigans (even though they weren’t used). Hell the fact that it was right there for someone like Myers forcing Kushida to throw in the towel, or bringing a backup white towel and being super heels would’ve at least made the finish fall less flat. But stupid match concept, worse execution, too many cooks in the kitchen. It could’ve been decent if there were so many caveats to idiocy in the match. The Knockouts and X Division were great matches though. Knockouts reminded me of a combination of Stardom High Speed and old 90s AJW wrestling. Fast, dirty, hard hitting, very brutal. X Division was fun, nice to see some new blood in the title scene and while the look of the security guards was a bit laughable, enough of the match hit the right notes to make me happy.

Kon and PCO shouldn’t be lengthened, especially with that moronic ending…but I suppose they need some undercard stupidity for Sacrifice. Really not sure how Kushida will validate his actions, Ash potentially teaming with or facing Gisele could be interesting. So while most of the matches were pretty good, the awkward pot holes were deep and irritating. Kon’s match being a waste of time and the No Surrender being convoluted beyond reason and then not even using the convolution in the finish of the match. The whole set up was like reading a story that was started by one writer, and then finished by another, in a different genre, translated into a different language.

High points were still worth the watch, but some stories need weird explanations and the bad matches are definitely awful beyond true description.


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