Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratlings: 2.9.2023

A few of the bigger points from last week, we get a few qualifying matches for a 4 Way Number One Contender match at No Surrender, Mickie James and Tommy Dreamer will be tagging together and; Matt Cardona will try to get some revenge on Joe Hendry.

Aside from that, we still have a little work left to fill out the No Surrender card. Time to find out what new wrinkles get added to the show!

.@swinger_johnny's road to 50 wins has yet to get off the starting line but @ZickyDice plans to line up a GUARANTEED victory for the Swingman. #IMPACTonAXSTV @milanmiracle @DirtyDangoCurty pic.twitter.com/ftUKAQ57GI

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 10, 2023

Ratings:

• Brian Myers vs Dirty Dango: Myers wins via Roster Cut – ** 3/4
• The Good Hands (John Skyler & Jason Hotch) vs Tommy Dreamer & Mickie James:  Mickie wins via Mick DT – ** 1/2
• Steph De Lander vs Jordynne Grace: Jordynne wins via Grace Driver – ** 1/4
• Killer Kelly & Taylor Wilde vs Death Dollz (Rosemary & Taya Valkyrie w/JesSICKa): Dollz win via Assisted Road to Valhalla – ** 1/2
• Shera w/Raj Singh vs PCO: PCO wins via PCO-Sault – **
• Digital Media Championship: Matt Cardona vs Joe Hendry (c): Hendry retains via Standing Ovation – *** 1/2

Results:

Brian Myers vs Dirty Dango

Winner qualifies for the 4 way at No Surrender for Number One Contender.

Dango starts off a little quirky and quick, a Hammerlock Armdrag, into A Hammerlock Suplex, as Dango tries an Armbar. So we see Dango working a limb and trying real wrestling…just with his weird flair. Myers powders as per his usual tactics when he’s on the receiving end to long, but Dango has control until Myers retreats under the ring and pulls Dango into the apron and then flings him into the post.

Myers tries to wrestle Dango down, Dango tries to fire but Myers pulls off his Rope Run Sliding Trip and starts suplexing Dango a few different ways. Dango tries to fight from the ground but Myers actually cleverly hits a snap DDT and stays in control. A few ducks under the Lariats, and then a meeting of the minds in the center of the ring. Dango is faster to his feet and starts rocking Myers from corner to corner. Side Russian with a float over, then he goes for The Dirtbag Shuffle. Myers is reeling, Falcon Arrow but Myers kicks out.

Dango goes to the top for the Guillotine Legdrop, Myers powders again, baits Dango to come at him, pulls out the apron so when Dango jumps at him, he crotches himself. Roster Cut on the outside, Roster Cut as a dazed Dango bounces off the ropes and stays down for the 3.

If you want to destroy @DeonnaPurrazzo, it's going to blow up in your face (literally). #IMPACTonAXSTV @GiseleShaw08 @TheJaiVidal @milanmiracle pic.twitter.com/cvySjjHPNz

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 10, 2023

The vignette starts off a little cringe, but Deonna makes everything better. 

The Good Hands (John Skyler & Jason Hotch) vs Tommy Dreamer & Mickie James

Hotch and Mickie start off, Mickie keeps wrist control, tags in Dreamer for a quick tandem move, tag back, Avalanche Axe Handle on the barred arm. Hotch manages to get Skyler in but he eats an Arm Drag from Mickie and she tags Dreamer in and the better tag work comes from Hardcore and Country. Dreamer hits a Double Lariat from the apron, Mickie hits the Crossbody from the top rope, and the Good Hands have had zero offense.

Dreamer locks in the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf, but Hotch slides in from behind and Mickie inadvertently distracts the ref. So now the Good Hands are working over Dreamer a little.  Skyler and Hotch get too arrogant, Dreamer connects with the Cutter and tags in Mickie. Hot tag as she rocks Hotch. Headscissors, Flapjack, Avalanche Thesz Press…but Skyler breaks up the pin. Mick Kick for his troubles, Stereo DDTs from the face team, 1-2-3.

Mickie celebrates the win, Bully slides in and rocks Dreamer. Bully goads Mickie and then Masha hits the ring and wipes out Mickie with the Russian Death Device. 

Steph De Lander vs Jordynne Grace

Admittedly I don’t love Powerhouse Predator as a gimmick when she’s starting off against Jordynne. Steph is a great talent, definitely checks those tall, gorgeous and strong boxes that are very popular right now. But an atypical arrogant persona with a Powerhouse gimmick doesn’t really bode well if Grace wins.

Steph tries to throw Jordynne around early, but Jordynne turns the momentum, utilizes her speed and plays the smaller part fairly well until Steph catches her with a boot to the head. Steph does stay on her, even tries to keep her down with the headlock, and then a Running Reverse Lariat gets 2, but Jordynne starts to fire back and absorb some punishment while riding the fire.

Spinning Backfist into a German Suplex Hold for 2 from Jordynne. Grace Driver attempt, but Steph blocks. Steph throws Jordynne into the corner, Jordynne tries the Up and Over, Steph catches her, Snake Eyes leads to 2. A few Lariats being thrown but Jordynne gets the best of her and Grace Driver gives Jordynne the win.

Yeah I’m not gonna say buried, but Steph is infinitely less interesting with the personality, gimmick and not super impressive outing.

Killer Kelly & Taylor Wilde vs Death Dollz (Rosemary & Taya Valkyrie w/JesSICKa)

Kelly and Taya start, as Taya manages to get Kelly trapped in the Death Dollz corner, tags in Rosemary right before the Sliding German. Kelly eats a lot of offense from Rosemary as well Hip Attack in the corner, T-Bone Suplex, The Upside Down, and as Rosemary has to break, Kelly crawls to her corner as Taylor consults her Tarot cards, tags herself in, and starts turning things in favor of Kills Gone Wilde.

Taylor tags in Kelly, hesitation Fisherman’s Suplex Hold for 2. Taylor reshuffles her Tarot deck, as Kelly brings Rosemary to her corner and Taylor gets a good answer and tags herself back in. Double Lariat spot for Kelly and Taya to get simultaneous tags. Sole Butt, Side Kick, Front Kick, into a Blue Thunder Bomb from Taya for 2. Road to Valhalla attempt, but Kelly trips her, PK, wipes out Rosemary and walks Taya to the corner. Taylor keeps looking through the deck, finds the devil card, throws it in Kelly’s face. Kelly eats an assisted Road to Valhalla as Taylor cackles and James Mitchell’s music hits.

James Mitchell claims he’s here to put a hex on the Death Dollz…and the former NWA Women’s Tag Champions hit the ring, The Hex. Allysin Kay and Marti Belle take out the Death Dollz. 

.@KENTAG2S is coming to #NoSurrender!

Bullet Club's @KENTAG2S, @DashingChrisBey and @The_Ace_Austin will face Time Machine's @SuperChrisSabin, @fakekinkade and KUSHIDA on February 24 in Las Vegas! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/w4ghJdAtBq

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 10, 2023

A-B-C…Go 2 Sleep. 

Shera w/Raj Singh vs PCO

Another qualifying match for the number 1 contender 4 way.

PCO lights up Shera with strikes, every time Shera tries something, PCO blocks, punches him and even punches him right in the throat. PCO hits the Senton to the outside on Shera and Raj, then PCO grabs both, the referee tries to stop it, and causes enough of a distraction for PCO to get shoved into the apron. Shera puts together some offense, but PCO Frankenstein Fires, chokes him into the corner and then fires out of the far corner with a Lariat.

Scorpion Death Drop from PCO, he motions to go up, PCO-Sault…connects! 1-2-3. PCO makes it to the 4 way at No Surrender.

While the match was mediocre and very predictable, PCO is beloved. So ANY amount of him winning is a good thing. 

Digital Media Championship: Matt Cardona vs Joe Hendry (c)

As soon as the bell rings, Ruff – wait, Radio Silence for 2! Cardona is incensed, he feels beyond disrespected the last few days, tonight of all. Hendry puts the brakes on any Reboot ideas and body drops him to the outside, and tries to shake off the damage from the early Radio Silence. Cardona tries a Crossbody, Hendry catches him, spins around for the Scoop Slam. Then Hesitation Vertical Suplex for 2.

Cardona powders and tries to call timeout. Hendry follows, throws him in just to have Cardona powder again. Hendry does the dumb babyface thing and follows again as he gets swept onto the apron. Commercial break happens and Cardona is still in control. Hendry eats most of the offense in Cardona’s playbook, until Cardona locks in a Guillotine Choke. Hendry powers through it and Suplexes out to break the submission. Strike exchange, Hendry starts getting the best, Cardona tries to hit the ropes, gets caught, Sack of Shit for 2! Cardona cowers in the corner, then uses the referee for a shield, kicks Hendry’s feet out, DDT, Reboot, near fall!

Hendry is trying to hulk up rolling to the corner. Cardona tries another Reboot, foot is caught, Trust Fall for 2! Hendry trying to get the crowd to fire with him, corner to corner, off the ropes Cutter and…Cardona gets his foot on the rope. Back Elbow, Radio Silence again, Hendry kicks out! Cardona goes for an Avalanche Radio Silence but Hendry catches him and Powerbombs him for a near fall. Myers throws in the championship to distract the referee, hits the ring, misses the Roster Cut on Hendry, but hits Cardona. Hendry hits the Standing Ovation, and retains!

Moose hits the ring, Hendry tries to talk him down, Moose charges for the Lights Out, Hendry moves and Cardona eats the Lights Out. Cardona had a terrible night and then Hendry calls for Edge’s Bitch to play Cardona off! 

Overall Score: 6.75/10

This was an interesting episode. We see a decent amount of wrestling, but a lot of it was predictable or average at best. However, things like setting up Rich Swann versus Kenny King for next week, KENTA helping out Ace & Bey at No Surrender, Masha siding with Bully Ray, the return of James Mitchell and Hendry/Cardona was just fantastic stuff.

If you like the way Impact tells stories, this was a fairly fun episode. I’m a little salty the Taylor and Kelly combo could be over after one match, but it was a fun angle to bring in The Hex and James Mitchell.

So there we go, a better episode than last week, but it still misses the mark a little on wrestling quality. Plus the Steph De Lander debut match was a bit of a fumble. Still, all in all, a pretty decent episode though.