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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (2/21/23)

All the bracket semifinals on one night!



The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 40

HPW’s Triforce Tournament returns to Lanaryu, just as Link returns to the semifinals! Will the Hero of Hyrule soon return to the Bracket of Courage finals? Or will Fin Balure shoot him down?


  • Bracket of Power Semifinal: Militron VS Onox; Onox wins and advances to the bracket finals.
  • Bracket of Wisdom Semifinal: Lupay VS Byrne w/ Chancellor Cole; Lupay wins and advances to the bracket finals.
  • Bracket of Courage Semifinal: Harlequin VS Kēvín Gibdo; Harlequin wins and advances to the bracket finals.
  • Bracket of Power Semifinal: Groose VS Skull Kid; Skull Kid wins and advances to the bracket finals.
  • Bracket of Wisdom Semifinal: Odolwa VS Igos du Ikana; Igos wins and advances to the bracket finals.
  • Bracket of Courage Semifinal: Link VS Fin Balure; Link wins and advances to the bracket finals.


HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

The opening round was hot in Eldin Canyon, but the second round will keep that heat going in Lanaryu! And speaking of hot, the Hero of Hyrule proved to be too much for even the Dragon Knight to burn down! Will Link continue his comeback even though he’s going up against the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla? Plus, we have a HyruleMania rematch as the Skyfall Stud takes on Skull Kid! Will Groose avenge his pointy pompadour? Or will he lose far more than just his hair?

But first, three of the four Faces of Evil have made it to the semifinals! The Armored Annihilator, the Wild Wolfos and the Boisterous Bokoblin are certainly an eclectic group, but what are the odds of them all making it into the bracket finals? The HPW Triforce Tournament Semifinals on the Talus Plateau begin now!


Bracket of Power Semifinal: Militron VS Onox!

Iron Knuckle could not crush Militron, and Darunia could not put a dent in Onox. But now, Armored Annihilator collides with Dark Dragon General in another superheavyweight showdown! Who will lead the way into the Bracket of Power finals?

The bell rings and fans rally behind “O~NOX! O~NOX!” Militron and Onox approach, and as with Iron Knuckle, Militron is the literally bigger man. Militron raises up his hand, calling for a Test of Strength. But fans boo as Militron holds his hand way out of reach to taunt Onox. Onox kicks Militron low! Onox then knuckle locks with Militron and fans fire up. The Test of Strength is on, and Militron stands back up to power Onox back! Onox digs his heels in, but Militron puts more pressure on to bring Onox to his knees! Fans rally up, and Onox fights back to his feet. But Militron KNEES low! Onox staggers away and Militron RAMS him into a corner!

Militron RAMS his shoulder in again and again but the ref counts. Militron lets off, then whips Onox corner to corner hard! Onox staggers and falls and Militron gloats with beating his chest. Onox stands back up, but Militron runs in to SPLASH! The fact the ring didn’t move is shocking in itself! Militron stands Onox back up, then runs side to side to BOOT WASH Onox! Fans boo while Onox flops in the corner! Militron digs Onox’s head into the buckles and shouts, “Worthless warrior! You must be hardened with fire!” The ref counts, Militron lets off at 4, but then has Onox lean back, to CLUB Onox in the chest!

Fans boo even harder but Militron soaks up the heat. Onox sputters and crawls to the apron. Militron eggs Onox on, daring him to stand. Onox does stand, Militron storms over and grabs Onox by his head, but Onox HOTSHOTS Militron away! Onox gets in, throws forearms, and then goes to scoop him! Militron fights that, CLUBS Onox, and then scoops Onox! Militron SLAMS Onox!! Fans freak out while Militron covers, ONE?!? The fans are thunderous, having seen shocking feats of strength and endurance back-to-back! Militron mocks Onox, saying he wants more. Militron stands Onox up to ROCK him with a forearm!

Onox ROCKS Militron back! Fans fire up as Onox throws forearms again and again, then tries another scoop. But Militron HEADBUTTS Onox! Militron reels Onox in for another scoop and SLAM!! Fans boo as Militron covers, TWO!! Onox is still in this but Militron looms over him. Militron drops a BIG elbow on Onox’s back! Onox writhes, crawls, and Militron stalks Onox to a corner. Militron CLUBS Onox on the back, CLUBS him again, then CLUBS him again! The ref counts, Militron shouts at the fans, “Is this your legend?!” Militron stands Onox up and TOSSES him away! Fans boo but Militron soaks up the heat.

Militron gloats more as Onox slowly sits up. Fans rally harder for Onox as Militron storms up behind him. Militron drags Onox up, but Onox breaks free to ROCK Militron! Onox throws haymaker after haymaker, roars, but Militron ROCKS Onox back! Militron gets the edge now, then winds up, but Onox dodges the big lariat! Onox LARIATS Militron against ropes, but he can’t get him up and out! Onox roars and goes again, and he LARIATS Militron up and out!! Fans are thunderous again as Onox roars! Onox goes out after Militron, keeps on him with more forearms, then he whips, only for Militron to reverse!

Onox is sent into steel steps and they bust apart! Militron roars while fans boo again. Militron storms over to Onox, drags him up, POSTS him, then pushes Onox into the ring. Onox flounders and Militron dares him to get back up. Onox sits up, Militron reels him in, and Militron goes to suplex! Fans marvel at Militron getting Onox up off the mat, but then Onox knees free! Onox throws body shots, but Militron knees low! Militron whips Onox to a corner hard, then runs in, but Onox dodges! Militron hits buckles, staggers back, and Onox reels him in for a BIG back suplex! Militron is down in the drop zone and Onox climbs the corner!

Fans are going nuts as Onox reaches the top! Onox roars again, before the WRECKING BALL SENTON!!! Cover, Onox wins!!

Winner: Onox, by pinfall (advances to the Bracket of Power Finals)

The Armored Annihilator gets annihilated! The General of Darkness is marching on, who will meet him in the finals?


Bracket of Wisdom Semifinal: Lupay VS Byrne w/ Chancellor Cole!

One FOE down, two to go! But while Militron just got crunched, will the Wild Wolfos make it to the Bracket of Wisdom finals? Or will he be derailed by the Lokoma?

In his entrance, Lupay points out the lone “Face Your FOE” sign in the crowd. Lupay howls, gets in the ring, the bell rings, and fans rally up as the two talk trash. Lupay is upset Byrne has more shirts in the crowd, but that’s because HPW hasn’t made any FOE shirts yet. Lupay then throws forearms so Byrne gives them back. Fans rally up as they go back and forth, faster and faster! Byrne ROCKS Lupay but Lupay knees low! Lupay headlocks, Byrne powers out, but Lupay rams shoulders. Neither falls, so Lupay runs again. They ram shoulders but again Byrne stays up. Lupay howls, then pokes Byrne in the eye!

Fans boo and Cole protests but Lupay hits an STO. Things speed up, but Lupay fakes Byrne out to step on him and strut. Fans applaud the strut, the roll and handspring, and then Lupay strikes a pose. Byrne gets up, mockingly applauds, then pokes Lupay in the eye! Byrne headlocks, Lupay powers out but Byrne runs him over. Things speed up again, Lupay hurdles then drops, but Byrne grabs Lupay’s legs! Byrne stomps Lupay in the head! And he mocks Lupay’s pose! Fans fire up but Lupay gets upset. Lupay storms up, Byrne gets around and headlocks for the takeover. Lupay headscissors but Byrne kips free.

Roles reverse as Lupay hits the headlock takeover, Byrne headscissors and Lupay kips free. Lupay handsprings and Byrne stands, fans cheer the stand-off. Lupay throws up rocker hands, Byrne mocks them, so Lupay throws forearms! Byrne gives them back, but Lupay throat chops! Lupay throws haymakers to back Byrne to a corner, then he throws more hands. The ref counts, Lupay whips corner to corner, Byrne reverses but Lupay goes up and over. Lupay ducks and dodges but Byrne casually avoids the springboard crossbody. Lupay crashes, flounders up, Byrne runs in and clotheslines him out!

Fans rally and Byrne builds speed, Byrne slides but Lupay moves out of the way. Lupay thinks he’s safe, but Byrne follows him around the way and to the ramp to CLAW his back! Byrne gives Lupay a taste of his own medicine! Byrne stomps Lupay down as a ring count starts, and Byrne stands Lupay up to CHOP! Lupay leans against railing, but he stomps Byrne’s foot! Byrne clutches that foot, and Lupay dumps Byrne over the railing and into the crowd! The count is 7 of 10! Lupay leaves Byrne behind, but Byrne drags himself up and over the railing! Byrne runs and slides into the ring at 9.9!! Lupay realizes this and is upset with the ref’s count!

The ref and Lupay argue but the count is deemed fair. Lupay drops ax handles on Byrne’s head, then runs for another ax handle! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Lupay CLUBS Byrne and wrenches Byrne’s arm. Lupay whips Byrne to a corner hard and Byrne bounces off buckles! Lupay looms over Byrne, kicks him around as fans rally up, then drags Byrne up. Lupay throws haymakers, but Byrne CHOPS back and Lupay staggers away. Byrne stalks Lupay, but Lupay stomps Byrne’s foot again! Byrne hops and falls, clutching his foot! Cole swears that boot is loaded! Cover, ONE!! Another cover, TWO! Deep cover, with ropes! The ref sees that and stops!

Fans cheer while Lupay argues with the ref! Lupay pretends that he didn’t know his feet were on the ropes but the ref isn’t falling for that. Byrne crawls to a corner, Lupay asks the fans, “This is the man you cheer?” Then he digs his boots into Byrne’s face! The ref counts, Lupay lets off, and he stands Byrne up to CLAW his back! And then slowly claws it again! The ref reprimands, but Lupay fish hooks Byrne’s face! The ref reprimands again, Lupay jams his elbow into Byrne’s face. Lupay hoists Byrne up top to put him in a Tree of Woe, then digs his boot in. Lupay runs corner to corner, jumps, but climbs up to stand on Byrne’s groin!

The ref counts and fans boo but Lupay hops off. The ref works to free Byrne while Lupay does jumping jacks to show off. Lupay then somersaults back over, to CLAW Byrne’s back! Byrne is fuming and fans fire up as Byrne CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! But Lupay wrangles Byrne down to STOMP the hand! Lupay grabs Byrne’s fingers to BEND them in all directions! The ref reprimands but Lupay keeps changing fingers, and then BITES one! The ref reprimands and counts, Lupay lets off, and licks his chops while fans chant, “YOU ARE SICK! YOU ARE SICK!” Lupay drags Desperado up, knuckle locks and wrenches the arm.

Lupay CHOPS, goes up and up and jumps, just to CLAW Byrne again! Fans boo, but Lupay goes up and up and jumps again, to CLAW Byrne more! Lupay keeps on the knuckle lock to bend the fingers, then he goes up another corner. Lupay jumps around on the ropes, tightrope walks, struts a bit, but Byrne kicks the rope! Lupay falls into a HOTSHOT and goes to the floor. Byrne builds speed and DIVES! Somersault tope to the ramp! Fans fire up, Cole is pumped, and a ring count starts. Byrne gets up first and drags Lupay up at 6 of 10. Byrne shoves Lupay into the ring at 8. Lupay goes to a corner, Byrne runs corner to corner to clothesline him!

Byrne then suplexes Lupay high and hard, almost a brainbuster! Cover, TWO! Byrne grabs Lupay’s leg for a GROUND DRAGON SCREW! And STRETCH MUFFLER! Lupay scrambles to the ROPEBREAK, but Byrne thrashes the leg until the ref counts 4! Byrne stands on Lupay’s back at the ropes, the ref counts and Byrne lets off, to CLAW Lupay! Byrne drags Lupay up, gets the leg again, but Lupay fights free with elbows. Byrne knees low, runs, but Lupay CHOPS! Lupay runs, but Byrne back elbows! Byrne fakes Lupay out on the run, lifts Lupay, but Lupay SATELLITE DDTS out of the spinebuster! Cover, TWO!!

Lupay drags Byrne up, CLAWS his back again, and then brings him into a torture rack! SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Fans fire up as Byrne survives, but Lupay somersaults to a corner. Lupay goes up top, ROUNDING BODY- KNEES! Byrne saves himself, drags Lupay into a cradle, TWO!! Fans fire up while both men are down! Lupay and Byrne rise, Byrne reels Lupay into a gut wrench, but Lupay slips out! Lupay torture racks again, but Byrne slips off the rack, to OLYMPIC SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Byrne gets back up, vows to end it, and he drags Lupay up. Byrne stands Lupay up, but Lupay fights the iron claw!

Lupay kicks low, whips Byrne to ropes, but Byrne sunset flips! Lupay rolls through, and gets a leg to steal STRETCH MUFFLER! Byrne endures as Lupay thrashes the leg! Byrne rolls it to a cradle, TWO! Byrne rolls Lupay, and has the STRETCH MUFFLER! Byrne makes Lupay pay as he thrashes the leg! Fans fire up with chants of “TAP! TAP! TAP!” while Lupay crawls for the ropes! But then Byrne drags him back! Byrne grabs an arm, THIRD RAIL! Fans rally as Lupay endures the modified muffler! But Lupay uses his core to sit up, and he sunset flips! High stack, TWO, but Lupay comes back with a CALF KICK! Cover, TWO!! Byrne survives and fans fire up again!

Byrne crawls to a corner while Lupay shakes his head and slaps sense into himself. Lupay goes to the opposite corner, howls, and then runs corner to corner, STINGER SPLASH! Lupay then reels Byrne into a POP-UP CUTTER!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Lupay can’t believe it but Byrne survives by fingertips!! Fans are thunderous as Lupay gets back up. Lupay slashes his throat, drags Byrne around, then drags him up to tuck the arms. But Byrne fights free, hooks Lupay up, TRAIN COUPLING! TWO, SPINEBUSTER! Gut wrench and shoulder rack, RAILCAR DDT! Cover, TWO!! Lupay survives and both Byrne and Cole are furious! Fans are thunderous again as Byrne roars!

Byrne drags Lupay up, but Lupay is deadweight. Byrne still stands Lupay up but Lupay kicks! Byrne blocks the kick and DECKS him with an elbow! Fans fire up with Byrne as he gets Lupay back up. Desperado hooks the arms, but Lupay resists again! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Byrne has the arms, he yanks Lupay right up and into the IRON CLAW! Byrne lifts Lupay again, but Lupay slips out to steal the IRON CLAW! And the IRON CLAW SLAM!! Cover, TWO!?!? Byrne survives his own move and fans are electric! But Lupay is furious and he drags Byrne up. Lupay starts pulling at Byrne’s mask! The ref reprimands, but Byrne bends Lupay’s fingers!

Lupay CHOPS and CHOPS and SLAPS Byrne, but Byrne doesn’t care! Byrne SLAPS Lupay down with that iron hand! Fans fire up and Lupay rises up in a daze. Byrne eggs Lupay on as fans rally up. Lupay throws a forearm, but Byrne DECKS him with a haymaker! Byrne eggs Lupay on more and Lupay stands back up. Lupay snarls and takes off his armbands, to SOBAT! The maybe-loaded boot takes Byrne down, and Lupay tunes up the band! Lupay howls as Byrne stands, but Byrne ducks the superkick to LOKO MONO!! SUPERKICK on the return!! Cover, Lupay WINS!!

Winner: Lupay, by pinfall (advances to the Bracket of Wisdom Finals)

Cole is burning up with anger, but is he right about the boot or just biased? Will Lupay use whatever tactics necessary to win the Bracket of Wisdom?


Bracket of Courage Semifinal: Harlequin VS Kēvín Gibdo!

The Faces of Evil have gone 1-1 in this round, 1-2 overall! Glutko and Militron are out but Lupay is in, will Harlequin be laughing his way to the bracket finals? Or will the Gibdo of All Gibdos make Harlequin the butt of the joke?

The bell rings and the two circle. And speaking of laughing, Harlequin is already chuckling as he and Kevin feel out the grapple. They hand fight, both wanting control. Harlequin then SLAPS Kevin and cracks up laughing. Fans boo, but then Kevin choke grips Harlequin! Fans cheer, but then Harlequin slips out of the choke slam! Harlequin kicks low, fires forearms, then whips, but Kevin blocks. Harlequin tries again but Kevin still blocks. Harlequin throws more forearms, whips but Kevin reverses this time. Kevin scoops Harlequin to hit SNAKE EYES! Harlequin staggers, Kevin runs, and Kevin BOOTS Harlequin down!

Fans fire up while Kevin stalks Harlequin to ropes. Kevin stomps Harlequin, then puts him on the ropes. Kevin CHOKES Harlequin on the ropes, the ref reprimands, but fans actually cheer that. The ref counts, Kevin lets off at 4, and Harlequin sputters and coughs. But then Harlequin laughs as he drags himself up with the ropes. Kevin storms up on Harlequin, Harlequin fights off the grapple, and he SLAPS Kevin again! Harlequin laughs as he scampers away but fans boo. Kevin glares at Harlequin, but Harlequin pretends to be scared as he goes to a corner. Kevin storms up again, Harlequin moves, and the two circle.

Fans rally, the two feel out the grapple again, but Kevin blocks Harlequin’s slap! Fans chant at Harlequin, “YOU F’D UP! YOU F’D UP!” Kevin choke grips Harlequin again, lifts, but Harlequin pokes Kevin in the eye! Fans boo, the ref reprimands, and Harlequin “apologizes,” only to CLAW at Kevin’s face! The ref reprimands, counts, and Harlequin lets off at 4 with hands up. Harlequin defends he’s innocent but the ref says we all saw that! Fans boo, Harlequin “apologizes” again, and then he kicks Kevin low! Kevin snarls and stares Harlequin right in the face! Harlequin looks around in worry, kicks again, but Kevin still stares him down.

Harlequin kicks and kicks and kicks, then jumps up to HEADBUTT, but he’s the one who wobbles around! Kevin DECKS Harlequin, Harlequin staggers up to his feet, so Kevin DECKS him again! Fans fire up as Kevin rallies with clothesline after clothesline, then he picks up and RAMS Harlequin into a corner! The ref counts as Kevin RAMS into Harlequin more. Kevin lets off, whips corner to corner, and runs in to clothesline! Kevin whips corner to corner the other way, runs in and clotheslines again! Kevin wrenches and lifts Harlequin with a Straight Arm Lever! Harlequin freaks out as he’s way up off the mat!

Kevin sets Harlequin down, to short arm LARIAT! Kevin drags Harlequin up for another short arm LARIAT! Fans fire up, Kevin drags Harlequin up one more time, but then Harlequin falls over. Fans boo while Kevin looms over Harlequin. Harlequin looks up from the mat with a smug grin and a chuckle. Kevin turns Harlequin over for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Harlequin survives and fans boo but Kevin keeps cool. Kevin grinds his forearm into Harlequin’s face, Harlequin flails and kicks, and Kevin lets off. Kevin drops a BIG elbow, covers, TWO! Harlequin bails out of the ring and fans boo.

Kevin goes out after Harlequin and stalks him over to commentary. Rusl tells them both to get away, but Kevin SMACKS Harlequin off the desk! Kevin brings Harlequin around the way and pushes him into railing. Fans in the front row fire up as the action comes to them! Kevin ROCKS Harlequin with a right hand! The ring count climbs while Harlequin staggers away, but Kevin follows him, and turns him around to ROCK him again! Kevin refreshes the ring count, then goes back to Harlequin. Kevin whips Harlequin hard into railing! Harlequin falls in a heap while fans fire up! Kevin storms up on Harlequin and Harlequin begs for mercy. Kevin stomps Harlequin instead!

Kevin stomps Harlequin more, then he drags Harlequin up. The ring count is 5 of 10, and Kevin puts Harlequin in the ring. Kevin drags Harlequin onto the apron, and then he climbs up onto the apron. Kevin lines up a shot, for a GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! Fans lose their minds while Harlequin sputters and writhes. Kevin gets in the ring, drags Harlequin to a cover, TWO!! Harlequin survives and scrambles away while fans are in disbelief! Kevin hurries out after Harlequin again, and stalks him up the ramp. Kevin grabs at Harlequin but Harlequin squirms free. Harlequin CLAWS Kevin’s face! The ref reprimands as he follows them up the ramp!

Harlequin throws forearms on Kevin, kicks him low, and reels him in. DDT to the ramp! Fans boo but Harlequin takes a bow. Harlequin tells the ref they can go to the ring now, and ushers him along. Harlequin and the ref get in the ring and Harlequin tells the ref to start counting. The ref reluctantly starts the count, and fans rally for Kevin. The count reaches 5 of 10 but Kevin hasn’t even stirred! The count is 7, and Kevin SITS UP! Fans fire up as Kevin stands and storms into the ring at 9! Harlequin runs in, but right into a choke grip! CHOKE SLAM!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Harlequin survives by fingertips!!

Kevin is fuming as he looks down at Harlequin. Kevin drags Harlequin up, and he gut wrenches him! Fans fire up, but Harlequin slips free! Harlequin jumps on for a SLEEPER! Fans boo as Harlequin squeezes tight! Kevin stays up, reaches out, but Harlequin thrashes around! Kevin starts to fade! Fans freak out and rally harder for Kevin, and he backs up to RAM Harlequin into a corner, and the ref!! The ref goes down and fans freak out, but Kevin is still free from the hold! Kevin scoops Harlequin again, for a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!! Kevin covers, but he realizes what happened to the ref! Kevin sighs, and he lets off of Harlequin.

Kevin looks around, unsure what to do. He goes over and tells the ref to get up, but Harlequin sneaks up behind him! LOW- NO! Kevin blocks the low blow uppercut! Kevin glares at Harlequin, who again begs for mercy! Kevin turns around and reels his hand back, but Harlequin kicks to low blow!! Harlequin laughs right in Kevin’s face as he drops to his knees! Harlequin then dragon sleepers Kevin for the TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOR!! The ref is back up as Harlequin covers, Harlequin wins!!

Winner: Harlequin, by pinfall (advances to the Bracket of Courage Finals)

The Gibdo of All Gibdos suffers the indignity of all indignities! The Boisterous Bokoblin laughs all the way to the back, will he be laughing all the way to the bank in this tournament?


Bracket of Power Semifinal: Groose VS Skull Kid!

HyruleMania 3 was the last straw between these two former Studly Guys, and not only did the Skyfall Stud lose a friend and a match, but he lost his hair. Will Groose avenge his red hair? Or will only his bald head be shining when Skull Kid knocks him down again?

The bell rings and Groose storms up on Skull Kid. Skull Kid gets around Groose, then slaps him on the back of the head! Groose frowns and fans boo but Skull Kid just flips off everyone. Groose storms up on Skull Kid again but Skull Kid slips out of the ring. Skull Kid grabs at Groose’s foot but Groose stomps his hands away! Skull Kid clutches his fingers and shakes out his hands, then shouts insults at Groose. Groose goes out after Skull Kid, their cat ‘n’ mouse game goes around to the ramp side, Skull Kid slides in and Groose follows. Skull Kid gets around and waistlocks, they go to ropes but Groose bucks Skull Kid away.

Skull Kid storms up but Groose reels his right hand back! Skull Kid scrambles away and fans laugh at him. Groose uses his other hand to tell Skull Kid just how close he was to taking the Right Hand o’ the Goddess. Skull Kid looks around at the crowd as chant for “Groose! Groose!” Skull Kid gets up on his feet in a huff, and he dares Groose to hit him then! Fans cheer “DO IT! DO IT!” and Skull Kid even puts his hands back and leans in. Groose reels back again, but Skull Kid dropkicks Groose’s leg! Fans boo, but Skull Kid shouts, “You told him to do it!” Skull Kid then HEADBUTTS Groose! And again! And again!

Groose wobbles and Skull Kid eggs him on. Groose roars and reels back again, but JABS! And JABS! Fans chant “GROOSE!” with each jab! “GROOSE! GROOSE! GROOSE!” Groose then reels back, but Skull Kid throat chops! Fans boo, the ref reprimands and Groose sputters, but Skull Kid dropkicks Groose onto the ropes! Skull Kid then hurries to the apron, reels Groose in, HEATSEEKER! Fans lose their minds over the apron piledriver while Skull Kid gets back in the ring and rolls Groose up, TWO! Groose survives and fans fire up while Skull Kid grows frustrated. Skull Kid sits Groose up and wraps on a chinlock.

Fans rally as Groose endures. Skull Kid leans on the hold but Groose fights up. Groose throws body shots, he whips Skull Kid to ropes, then picks Skull Kid up and hits a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Groose stands Skull Kid up, chicken wings him, and turns him, but Skull Kid powers free and jumps on for a SLEEPER! Skull Kid thrashes around and fans rally up as Groose reaches out for ropes. Groose steps forward, but Skull Kid climbs up to dragon sleeper! Skull Kid brings Groose away from the ropes, and hits a NECKBREAKER across his knee! Skull Kid then uses his legs in a full nelson!

Fans rally while Groose endures and Skull Kid puts on pressure. Groose kicks and crawls, reaches out with a foot, and gets the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts and Skull Kid claims he needs help! But he put the hold on in the first place! The ref pries at the hold, counts at Skull Kid, and Skull Kid lets Groose go. Fans boo but Skull Kid just flips them all off again. Skull Kid drags Groose up, but Groose picks Skull Kid up to RAM him into a corner! Groose RAMS his shoulder in again and again, then digs it in! Fans fire up but the ref counts, and Groose lets off at 4. Groose stands Skull Kid up, then TOSSES him across the way!

Fans fire up but Groose frowns while he watches Skull Kid writhe. Groose storms over, stands Skull Kid back up, and reels back for RIGHT HAND O’ THE GODDESS! Skull Kid staggers back into the corner! Fans fire up as Groose fires off right hand after right hand, hitting the mask again and again! The ref reprimands, Groose reels back again, but Skull Kid wobbles, then flops right on his face! Er, mask! Groose stands still, hand at the ready, but the turmoil is clear on his face. Groose drags Skull Kid to center, covers, TWO!! Skull Kid bridges up and out just in time, and Groose pounds the mat in frustration.

Fans rally up as Groose sits Skull Kid up. “We just gotta get this mask off you. We just gotta get this mask off you.” Groose grabs at the mask, careful of the spikes. He pulls on the mask, but it’s on tight! Skull Kid kicks at Groose’s leg and Groose lets go of the mask. Groose BOOTS Skull Kid back down! The mask looks to have a crack forming! Groose says if he can’t take it off, he’ll break it off! Groose sits Skull Kid up again to DECK him! And again! And again! And again! The crack in the mask is growing slowly, but Groose shakes out his hand. Groose balls up his fist again, sits Skull Kid back up, but Skull Kid avoids the punch!

Skull Kid drags Groose down by that arm, and into a CROSSFACE! Fans freak out while Groose endures! Groose reaches out, claws his way forward, but Skull Kid pulls on the hold! Groose is fingertips away from the ropes! But Skull Kid rolls and turns Groose away from them!! Fans freak out, but Groose just reaches for the ropes on the adjacent side! Fans rally as Groose claws his way forward again, but Skull Kid rolls him away from ropes again! But Groose makes that a cover! TWO!! Skull Kid lets go in time to kick out! RIGHT HAND O’ THE GODDESS!!! But Groose shouts in pain as he clutches his right hand!

The ref checks but Groose says he’s fine. Groose goes to where Skull Kid is by the ropes. Groose grabs at a leg but the bad hand makes that difficult. Groose drags Skull Kid with just one hand, turns him over and covers, TWO!??! Fans can’t believe it and Groose is beside himself! Groose looks at Skull Kid, angry yet also pleading that he stay down. Skull Kid stirs, then slowly sits up. Groose is conflicted, but he still chicken wings Skull Kid again. Groose starts to turn Skull Kid, but the bad hand hurts too much! Groose lets go, Skull Kid grabs the bad hand and bends the fingers! Fans shout and boo while Groose shouts in pain again!

Skull Kid has Groose on his knees from the pain in the hand! Skull Kid steps over the arm, twists the wrist, and SNAPS the fingers!! Groose clutches his hand, but Skull Kid runs the ropes! TORPEDO MAJORA!!! Cover, SKULL KID WINS!!

Winner: Skull Kid, by pinfall (advances to the Bracket of Power Finals)

Fans are either stunned silent or booing as hard as they can! But the fans not being happy doesn’t change the fact Skull Kid is heading to the Bracket of Power Finals in March! Will Skull Kid find a way to get through even Onox?


Bracket of Wisdom Semifinal: Odolwa VS Igos du Ikana!

The God of Woodfall cut down the Living Blade while the Ruler of Ruin won the showdown of TCW legends. But will this Dark Horse be the new star of Termina? Or will Igos prove he still has time to add to his legacy?

The bell rings and fans sing, “Iiiiigos du Ikaaa~na! Iiiiigos du Ikaaa~na!” Odolwa ignores that, or maybe doesn’t care at all, as he circles with Igos. They approach, dukes up, and Odolwa tests the waters with a kick. Igos stays back to avoid the kick and the two keep circling. Igos tries a jab but Odolwa stays back to avoid that. Odolwa tries grabbing at Igos but Igos deflects his hands. Odolwa presses forward, cornering Igos. They clinch but the ref counts the ropebreak. Both men let off slowly, but Odolwa keeps his eyes on Igos as he backs away. Fans applaud the sportsmanship as the two reset.

Igos and Odolwa have their dukes up again as they approach. Igos tries a testing kick now, Odolwa immediately answers, and Igos throws a back elbow. There’s a quick flurry between the two of them, and Odolwa ROCKS Igos! Fans fire up, Odolwa keeps on Igos, and they end up in another corner! The ref counts but Odolwa is talking trash on Igos. Odolwa lets off at 4 and fans boo but Igos keeps his cool. The two reset again and fans rally up. Odolwa throws a KICK and Igos hobbles. Igos comes back to KICK Odolwa but Odolwa shrugs that off to KICK again! Igos hobbles, shakes that leg out, but he KICKS Odolwa again!

Odolwa still shrugs it off, and he KICKS, but Igos lifts his leg up and over! Igos hits Odolwa with an elbow from the left, then ROCKS him with a forearm from the right! Fans fire up as Odolwa staggers, and Igos boots him to ropes to then hip toss! PENALTY KICK to the back! But Odolwa just snarls! Odolwa glares at Igos as he stands back up. ELEGY OF- NO! Odolwa catches the spinning heel kick! Odolwa twists the foot for an ANKLE LOCK! Igos scrambles and reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Odolwa lets off quickly, and he eggs Igos on. Igos bails out instead to shake out his legs. Odolwa sits crosse-legged to taunt Igos!

Fans are torn but Igos scowls at Odolwa, who dares Igos to get in. Igos doesn’t fall for the goading and goes around the way. The ref starts a ring count and Odolwa stays put, watching Igos with his eyes. Igos goes around to the ramp side to be behind Odolwa. Odolwa looks over his shoulder at Igos, and Igos suddenly slides in! But Odolwa stands right up and turns around in one move! Igos stops short and the two stare down while fans fire up! The two snarl at each other, and then they tie up collar ‘n’ elbow! Fans rally as the two go around, onto ropes, into a corner, then back onto ropes. Igos ends up having Odolwa in a corner, and he throws a KNEE hard and low!

The ref reprimands as Igos fires off kicks and fast hands! Odolwa shoves Igos down, Igos gets up, but Odolwa runs him over! Things speed up, Igos drops and jumps for a body scissor capture! Roll-up, TWO! PENALTY KICK! Odolwa growls as he flexes his entire chest to stay up! Odolwa glares at Igos again as he rises up, but Igos KICKS him in the chest again! Odolwa snarls again and stands up. Igos KICKS Odolwa in the chest again and again, but Odolwa eggs him on! Igos feints a kick to spin and SOBAT instead! Then a front KICK! Odolwa wobbles, Igos SPIN JUMP- NO! Odolwa catches Igos out of his jumping knee!

Odolwa pops Igos around for a FALL AWAY SLAM! Igos tumbles to ropes while Odolwa fires up! Fans are torn as Odolwa storms up on Igos. Igos back elbows Odolwa away, then QUEBRADAS! Direct hit and fans fire up for Igos again! Igos waits on Odolwa as fans rally, and Odolwa sits up, into a BUZZSAW! Igos pushes Odolwa to a cover, ONE?!? Odolwa shocks even Igos with such a sudden kickout! Igos rains down forearms on Odolwa, but lets off after five to sit Odolwa up and wrap on a chinlock. Odolwa endures while Igos leans on the hold. Fans rally, Odolwa fights up, and Odolwa throws body shots.

Odolwa gets free but Igos ROCKS Odolwa with a forearm! Igos KICKS Odolwa in the leg but his plant leg bothers him. Igos still KICKS the leg, KICKS Odolwa in the chest, then starts up the IKANA RUSH! Igos hits the knee thrust, Odolwa staggers and stumbles, and Igos clamps on the dragon sleeper, for the GRAVESTONE! Odolwa flails as Igos pulls back on the hold! Odolwa reaches up at Igos but Igos drops back! Igos has the body scissors on and fans fire up! Odolwa keeps reaching back, but Igos bridges his neck to both keep away and add pressure! Odolwa pushes with his legs to also bridge, they move around, but Odolwa can’t tell where he is!

Fans rally even harder as they get close to ropes! Igos lets go of the body scissors to push off the ropes and roll Odolwa away! Now Igos on top and makes the hold a GRAVESTONE STRETCH! Odolwa endures, pushes up, gets his feet under him, and pushes Igos back into ropes! ROPEBREAK! Fans are torn as the ref counts, but Igos lets off at 4. Odolwa sputters while he gets away and Igos stands up. Fans build to a rally as the two reset and get their dukes up again. The two approach, and Igos throws a quick combo! Odolwa is on his heels as he guards, then throws kicks in return. Igos guards, throws another flurry, but Odolwa gets around!

Odolwa waistlocks but Igos fights the lift! Igos pries the hold open, standing switches, but now Odolwa fights the lift. Odolwa REAR HEADBUTTS! Igos staggers, Odolwa aims and DOUBLE CHOPS! Igos falls, gets back up, but Odolwa DOUBLE CHOPS again! Igos staggers back up, Odolwa rushes in, but Igos BOOTS one of the hands! Odolwa barks in pain and clutches that hand. Odolwa snarls, and he SLAPS Igos! Of course that’s double-edged, but Odolwa DOUBLE CHOPS again anyway! Odolwa growls as he shakes the bad hand out. Igos gets up again, Odolwa swings, Igos CROSS COUNTERS! And again! And again! And again!

Odolwa staggers and fans are thunderous! Odolwa roars, ELEGY OF EMPTINESS!!! Cover, Igos wins!!

Winner: Igos du Ikana, by pinfall (advances to the Bracket of Wisdom Finals)

The God of Woodfall has fallen! The Ruler of Ruin is still standing, and is now headed to Mount Dunsel! Will Igos du Ikana soon reach the pinnacle of Hyrule Pro-Wrestling?


Bracket of Courage Semifinal: Link VS Fin Balure!

The Hero of Hyrule made it past the Dragon Knight, but his comeback runs into the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla! Will this be the end of Link’s adventure? Or will he make it back to the bracket finals?

The bell rings and fans rally up already. The two circle and approach, and then Fin offers a handshake, just like Volga last round. Link is surprised, and goes to take it, but then Fin leaves him hanging to instead aim his imaginary bow ‘n’ arrow. Link sighs, the two tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and Fin headlocks. Link powers out but Fin pulls hair to reel Link back in! Fans boo and Tiger Sahasrahla reprimands but Fin just grins. Fin grinds the hold, Link throws body shots, but Fin headlock punches him! Fans boo more and Sahasrahla reprimands again, but Fin waves that off dismissively to CHOP Link! Fin has Link in a corner and CHOPS again.

Fin whips corner to corner, runs in and CHOPS! Fin whips again but Link reverses, only for Fin to bounce off buckles and CHOP again! Fin flexes while Link clutches his stinging chest. Fin taunts Link, and fans boo as Fin pie faces him. Link frowns as Fin pie faces him more. Link ROCKS Fin with a haymaker! Fans fire up as Link fires off more haymakers, but then Fin ducks one and runs, SLING- NO, Link throws Fin away! But Fin blocks Link’s Superkick! Fin DRAGON SCREWS the leg, then holds on to GROUND DRAGON SCREW! Fans boo but Fin mockingly asks Link what’s wrong. Then Fin stomps the bad leg!

Link crawls to ropes but Fin follows him. Fans boo more as Fin stomps Link’s bad leg again. Sahasrahla counts but Fin springboard stomps! And again, and again! Sahasrahla backs Fin off but Fin just flexes again while soaking up heat. Link bails out and shakes out the bad leg, but Fin slips out the side. Fin stalks up behind Link to CHOP BLOCK the leg! Fans boo more but Fin stands Link up to put him in the ring. Fin drags Link to the apron, and Fin SLAMS the bad leg on the edge! Fans boo more and Sahasrahla reprimands again, but Fin grabs the bad leg again. But Link BOOTS Fin away into the railing!

Link drags himself back from the ropes, hobbles, but manages to build speed! But Fin slides in to CHOP Link down! Fans boo Fin while Link sits up and grits his teeth. Fin smirks and he brings Link up, but Link throws body shots. Link ROCKS Fin with a forearm, fans fire up, and Link throws another forearm! Fin dropkicks the bad leg out! Fin then clamps onto Link with a chinlock and grinds him down. Link endures, even as Fin shifts his weight to almost have a Bully Choke! Link reaches out, and his foot gets the ROPEBREAK! Fin puts on the pressure while Sahasrahla counts, and Fin lets go at 4.

Fin stomps Link again, Sahasrahla reprimands again but Fin puts Link in the corner to stomp a mudhole. Fin lets off at 4, then stomps Link again! Fin drags Link up and he puts the bad leg in the ropes. Fans boo and Sahasrahla reprimands as Fin pulls on the leg! Fin lets off at 4, and then he dropkicks the bad leg! Link falls over, Fin puts the bad leg back on ropes, and he springboards for a HIP DROP! Fans boo, Sahasrahla reprimands and Link clutches the leg. Fin just brushes off Sahasrahla again and he puts the leg back on the ropes. HIP DROP! HIP- NO, Link kicks Fin up and out of the ring with his good leg!

Fans fire up as Fin tumbles to the floor. Link clutches the bad leg, drags himself up with the ropes, and slaps his bad leg into working. Link aims as Fin stands back up, PLANCHA! Direct hit and fans fire up with Link! Link shakes out the bad leg, drags Fin up, and puts Fin back in the ring. Link then climbs the corner, but the bad leg slows him down. Fin gets up and CHOPS Link! Fin climbs up after Link and throws forearms! Link throws them back, and fans fire up as they brawl up top. Link gets the edge and he DECKS Fin! Fin is in the drop zone, Link turns around for the ICE ARROW! Cover, TWO! Link clutches his bad leg, it’s hard to tell if he’s grimacing in pain or just upset.

Fans rally up as hard as they can for Link as he stands back up. Link walks off the pain but he’s still hobbling. Fin sits up, Link walks over, but Fin grabs at the legs! Fin trips Link, and DOUBLE STOMPS Link down! Cover, TWO! Fin kicks and stomps Link around while fans boo. Fin taunts Link, “What’s the matter, Hero of Hyrule? Were you just a lot of hype this whole time, huh?” Link scowls as he sits up again. Link looks up defiantly at Fin but Fin eggs him on. Link stands up and he ROCKS Fin with a forearm! Fans fire up and Fin checks his chin. Fin smirks and nods, and he ROCKS Link in return! Fans boo but Link stays up.

Link ROCKS Fin again and fans cheer! Fin ROCKS Link again and fans boo! It goes back and forth, “YAY~! BOO~! YAY~! BOO~!” as the forearms go back and forth. Link gets the edge, “YAY! YAY! YAY!” and then he spins, but Fin ROCKS Link in return! Fans boo, Fin whips but Link reverses and reels Fin into a fireman’s carry! But the bad leg gives out! Fin has the dragon sleeper, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO! Fin goes to a corner and aims the pretend bow ‘n’ arrow at Link as he slowly stands back up. Fans boo as Fin runs in, but Link avoids the shotgun dropkick! Fin sits up, he ducks the Shining Wizard, and Link’s bad leg jams before he can Boomerang!

Fin throws Link down by his good leg, but Link avoids the double stomps! Fin stumbles, turns around and Link fireman’s carries right to BOMBOS MEDALLION! Cover, TWO! Link grows frustrated but fans rally up again. Link drags Fin up with a facelock, but Fin RAMS Link into a corner! Fans boo, Sahasrahla reprimands, but Fin grabs the bad leg! DRAGON SCREW but Link spins through! Link sits on a cover, TWO! Link ends up back in the corner, Fin storms up, but into a SUPERKICK! Fin staggers and turns around, Link HOOK SHOTS! Fin drops to his knees, Link MASTER SWORDS from behind! Cover, TWO!

Link shakes out the bad leg, waits on Fin to sit up, BUZZSAW to HEEL KICK, the Double Shot! Fin wobbles and leans back, Link drags him up into a clinch, but Fin turns it into a SIDE LEG SWEEP! Fin hops forward, bridges back, ZORA CLUTCH! TWO!!! Link escapes with nanoseconds to spare and everyone is shocked! Fin rushes in, Link sidesteps and UPPERCUTS! Link reels Fin into a facelock but Fin fights the suplex! Fin turns things around to underhook, but Link fights the lift! Link dumps Fin out to the apron! But Fin GAMANGIRIS back! Link staggers, Fin gets in and runs, to SLINGBLADE! Fans boo but Fin fires up and flexes again!

Fin aims from a corner again, runs in, and he SHOTGUNS Link into the other corner! Link bounces off the buckles and falls into the drop zone! Fin goes up the corner, takes aim again, COUP DE- NO, Link moves out of the way in time! Fin hobbles, Link brings him into a cradle! TWO!! MASTER SWORD! Link grits his teeth as he clutches his knee, then he grabs Fin’s wrists. Link roars through the pain to hit the LIGHT ARROW!! Cover, Link wins!

Winner: Link, by pinfall (advances to the Bracket of Courage Finals)

The Hero of Hyrule comes through in the end! And now, he’s headed back to the Bracket Finals! But will he be able to make it back to the tournament finals with the damage done? Or will he have an even more heroic performance to return to the top?

My Thoughts:

This was a fun one to write with six matches. It was tricky to balance the pushes of Skull Kid and the Faces of Evil, but there are multiple Faces of Evil so one of them could lose this round and the group would still be okay. I like the match-ups we’re getting next round in March to set up the Triple Threat finals in April. And I’m lucky to have gotten this done during a rather busy February.

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/16/24)

Fallout from ThunderStruck!



As Spring gives way to Summer…

The storm has passed, see who still reigns in HPW! We hear from the winners and losers of ThunderStruck 3, and of Blood & Thunder!


After the Death Mountain Championship.

Torbevito returns backstage.

Arrow Club is there, and Mack Quackson asks, “Torbs, what the heck? Where’s the title?” Torbevito asks back, weren’t they watching? He lost. He lost!? Yeah, he lost! The Arrow Club sighs, and Fin Balure pats Torbevito on the shoulder, saying it’s fine. They’ll circle back to the Death Mountain title another time. Bad Croc Scaly’s about to go out there with Ruto, they’ll handle Cia & Ganon. The Club cheers the Swamp Boss and Zora Princess as they head to gorilla position.


After the Mixed Tag Match.

Ruto & Scaly return backstage.

Rick Quackson asks, “What in the name of the Golden Goddesses is going on out there?! You lost, too?” Scaly frowns as he puts an icepack on his face, right where the Kick of Calamity got him. Rick apologizes for pointing out the obvious, but this is still really upsetting. Mack says Ganon is one thing, he’s the one and only HPW Triple Crown Champion, from Triforce to Trios to Termina titles. But Ruto’s gonna have Cia handled, right? Ruto says of course she will! Don’t even think that Cia was anywhere close to beating Ruto out there. Cia may’ve been champion before, but she’ll never be a Goddess again.

The Arrow Club clap, nod, and give a “Yeah!” in agreement. But for now, they get to sit back, relax, and watch the rest of the card go down. Will the Zora Princess make sure the Dark Sorceress stays on the outside looking in?


After the World Triforce Championship match.

Link returns backstage.

Zelda is here, the first time we’ve seen her since HyruleMania, and she asks what happened out there. Why did Kage show up and do that? Link shakes his head and shrugs. Zelda wonders if Kage was being genuine. Link looks at her with confusion but she says Link has to remember, Kage was taken from his family and raised by an awful, horrible man. Kage doesn’t know how to help others outside of violence. Link frowns at her, and Zelda says she understands, Link didn’t need the help, so Kage was still in the wrong. But the point is that he meant well. Link sighs and shakes his head, not buying that at all.

Link gets himself an icepack as he starts to leave but Zelda brings up if Link’s talked about Kage with his sister, Aryll. Link stops, looks back at her, but says nothing. Zelda suggests that he should, Kage’s her brother, too. Zelda then walks past Link to leave, and Link sighs. Will the broken home start to heal? Or are the wounds too deep?

Yunobo returns backstage.

He’s of course upset over Kage’s interference with the match, but then he sees Arrow Club is waiting for him. Naturally, he asks what they’re doing here. Fin says they saw what happened out there. “A real shame, isn’t it? The ‘Hero’ of Hyrule resorting to such tricks.” The Ducks agree, they thought Link was better than that. Yunobo says Link said it was all Kage’s idea. Well of course he did! That’s what brothers do! You wouldn’t believe how many times Mack & Rick tried to pin the blame on the other. Like that time when Mack broke their mom’s favorite clay pot. Yeah, or when Rick broke dad’s favorite long bow.

Rick says hold on, that was also Mack. That big gust of wind blew it right out of his grip. What? That’s not when it happened. It was when Rick pulled really hard on the string and- Fin stops the bickering and says they made their point. For all anyone really knows, Link and Kage worked out their issues, then conspired to screw over his opponent tonight. It was just unfortunate that it was Yunobo. Y’know, all right place, wrong time. But hey, Nicholas Foolyere is a pretty fair guy, he might give Yunobo another chance. The Ducks agree again, Yunobo should go talk to Fooly. Yunobo is a little conflicted, but that much is true. He’ll go find Fooly.

Yunobo heads out, Arrow Club wishes Yunobo luck. Fin says to The Ducks, “Y’know, fellas, we may have these shiny new belts, and the rest of the team may be struggling a bit, but that right there… That was a good deed for the day, huh?” The Ducks agree yet again. Mack says Yunobo’s a good egg. Rick says, “He is, isn’t he?” Fin & The Ducks all smile, but what’s really behind them trying to help Yunobo out?

My Thoughts:

I know, that was a lot of Arrow Club for one article, but they were also pretty prevalent on the ThudnerStruck card so it makes sense. And there’s something to the idea that Arrow Club would want to recruit more members and they see an opening with how things went with Yunobo, Kage and Link. Yunobo’s in the top title scene right now, Arrow Club can get the top title if he wins it for them.

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (5/15/24)

Golden tickets are on the line!



The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 58

For the first time in HPW ThunderStruck history, Blood & Thunder will be a 4v4 battle, with title opportunities promised to the winners! Will the Dark Forces or the UnderWorld Order head for a brighter future?


  • HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Thunderbird VS Torbevito; Thunderbird wins and retains the title.
  • Cia & Ganon VS Ruto & Bad Croc Scaly; Cia & Ganon win.
  • Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship: Link VS Yunobo; Yunobo wins by disqualification, Link retains the title.
  • Blood & Thunder: The Dark Forces VS The UnderWorld Order; The Dark Forces win and are promised future title opportunities.


HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

The number three is a well-known pillar of Hyrule culture, so it is fitting that the third Blood & Thunder match changes things up! The Dark Forces and the UnderWorld Order have been at odds ever since ReDead went Hollywood and sold out! But now the stakes are raised again as it will be a 4v4 match inside the double ring, double cage! Who survives to then stake their claim to championship matches? But speaking of, tonight is the night the third-generation Goron and winner of the Triforce Tournament gets to truly prove himself! Yunobo wants to bring glory and honor to his bloodline, but can he defeat the first and only THREE-TIME Triforce Champion?

Additionally, before the Dark Sorceress can have her match with the Zora Princess, a Mixed Tag Match will test the waters, so to speak! Cia teams with new business partner in the Dark Forces, the HPW Termina Champion and Gerudo Ace, GANON! However, backing up the HPW Goddess Champion is the Swamp Boss, Bad Croc Scaly! Will Arrow Club shoot down the Dark Forces’ top brass? Or will Cia be more than ready for her shot at redemption? But to kick things off, the Rito luchador who we may have seen before makes his first title defense! Who will try to knock him off his perch? HPW ThunderStruck 3 begins now!


HPW General Manager, Nicholas Foolyere, is here!

He stands on stage with a familiar podium, and with a familiar veil over familiar shapes. The King of Hyrule welcomes us all to “right here, on Thundra Plateau!” The fans cheer for that. Nick Fooly then understands that this scene looks familiar, perhaps some deja vu going on. Then without any further ado, please welcome out the HPW Trios Champions, Arrow Club’s Fin Balure & The Young Ducks! The fans are a bit torn as The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla makes his way out with Mack & Rick Quackson. They stand with Nick Fooly and he welcomes them here.

Fooly notes that being this is year five of HPW, there have been a lot of changes going on. At HyruleMania 4, The Arrow Club took their HPW Trios Championships off the UnderWorld Order in a great match. And so, why not help bring the HPW Trios Division into this great new chapter, with brand new belts? Fooly pulls the veil away and he says, “Behold! The HPW WORLD Trios Championships!”

Hyrule Pro Wrestling WORLD Trios Championships

The fans and even Arrow Club marvel at the new designs. As Fin & The Ducks turn over their old silver ‘n’ black belts for these new black ‘n’ gold ones, Fooly explains the design. The crests of the three goddesses, Din, Nayru & Farore, adorn the main plates as they also represent the trinity of power, wisdom and courage. And just as the goddesses created the foundation of the world they know, the Trios Division is a strong foundation of HPW. Arrow Club hold up the belts together and the fans cheer. What team will be the first to step to these new world champions?


HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Thunderbird VS ???

Teba or not Teba, that is the question. Did someone find a loophole in the Dark Horse Stampede to get back into the mix? Maybe. But when it comes to who climbed up a ladder to bring this title down, it was definitely this Rito luchador. But now he puts it back up on the line against whoever answers the call! Who is looking to climb Death Mountain? It’s… TORBEVITO! Arrow Club’s Zora luchador steps up, will he once again reach the summit? Or does no one fly higher than a Rito?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is the superior masked wrestler!

HyruleProWrestling DeathMountainTitleNew Thunderbi

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally as the two circle. They feel things out, tie up, go around, and they end up on ropes. The ref counts, Torbevito lets off slowly, but Thunderbird headlocks. Thunderbird grinds the hold, Torbevito endures, and he pries at the hold. Thunderbird clamps down tighter, but then Torbevito pops out the back to hammerlock. Torbevito then shifts to a headlock and hits the takeover. Thunderbird headscissors but Torbevito shrugs that off. Torbevito pulls on the headlock but Thunderbird endures. Thunderbird rolls Torbevito to a cover, ONE, and Torbevito holds onto the headlock.

Thunderbird pushes Torbevito into the headscissors this time, but Torbevito kips free. Roles reverse as Thunderbird headlocks for the takeover but Torbevito headscissors. Thunderbird kips free, and he CHOPS Torbevito! Fans “WOO~!” and Thunderbird whips, but Torbevito reverses. Thunderbird ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA, but Torbevito handsprings through! Fans are torn while Torbevito wags his finger, but he turns around into a DROPKICK! Torbevito tumbles out of the ring and fans rally as Thunderbird builds speed! Torbevito moves but Thunderbird handsprings and backflips to superhero land!

The fans fire up while Torbevito is annoyed. Thunderbird eggs Torbevito on, Torbevito storms up to the apron, but he has the ref keep Thunderbird back. Torbevito then slingshots and somersaults to SHOTGUN Thunderbird down! Cover, TWO! Torbevito hurries to whip Thunderbird to a corner, runs in but Thunderbird slips out to the apron! Torbevito hits buckles, Thunderbird slingshots to sunset flip, but Torbevito holds ropes to stay up! The ref reprimands, Torbevito lets go and the sunset finishes, but Torbevito rolls through. Thunderbird avoids the Penalty Kick to roll Torbevito up, TWO, and both men scramble up!

Thunderbird LARIATS Torbevito down, but then Torbevito kips up! Thunderbird runs up, Torbevito ducks the lariat this time and handsprings, NEURALIZER KICK! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer but Torbevito is frustrated already. Torbevito waits on Thunderbird as he slowly rises up. Torbevito waistlocks and runs Thunderbird to a corner. Thunderbird bucks the O’Conner, but Torbevito comes back! WHIRL- NO, Thunderbird stops the DDT to then THROW Torbevito to the second ring ring! Torbevito staggers up to his feet, and then Thunderbird SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODIES! Direct hit and the fans fire up with Thunderbird!

Thunderbird drags Torbevito up, puts him back in the first ring, then goes up the corner. MOONSAULT, but Torbevito moves! Only for Thunderbird to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up again but now Thunderbird gets frustrated. Thunderbird drags Torbevito up, reels him in, but Torbevito fights the suplex. Torbevito wrenches out, KICKS Thunderbird then reels him in, but Thunderbird fights the suplex! They go back and forth as they fight for suplex control, and Torbevito gets Thunderbird up and over! And that’s just Uno Amigo as Torbevito gets back up! Another suplex, Dos Amigos! Then back up for THREE AMIGOS!

Torbevito is fired up, the fans are torn, but Torbevito goes up the corner. Torbevito aims and FROG SPLASHES, TWO!! The fans fire up as Thunderbird survives but Torbevito is furious! Torbevito pounds the mat and watches Thunderbird rise. Torbevito runs in, tilt-o-whirl, but Thunderbird stops the DDT! Thunderbird throws Torbevito back then SCREW HIGH KICKS! Cover, TWO! Thunderbird hurries to a corner and takes aim! Torbevito staggers to his feet, Thunderbird runs up, FLYING KICK! Cover, Thunderbird wins!

Winner: Thunderbird, by pinfall (still HPW Death Mountain Champion)

#WhiteLightning strikes and Thunderbird makes it through ThunderStruck! Will the reign continue from Spring into Summer?


Cia & Ganon VS Ruto & Bad Croc Scaly!

The Dark Sorceress was once Goddess Champion, and she wants to return to that former glory. The Dark Forces have been remodeled and the Gerudo Ace is leading the way, will he and Cia be victorious? Or will the Zora Princess and the Swamp Boss turn the tides and wash them all away?

The teams sort out, and it’s ladies first as Cia starts against Ruto. The fans rally up for this Goddess Championship appetizer and the two circle. The two approach, but then Ruto dodges Cia and tags out to Scaly. Ruto smirks at Cia while fans boo. Scaly calls out the Termina Champion, Ganon chuckles, but Ganon still reaches out. Cia tags Ganon in, and the fans rally as Ganon circles with Scaly. They feel things out, tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and are in a deadlock. Ganon has height but Scaly has bulk, and Scaly uses that to power Ganon back. The ref counts, Scaly lets off slowly, and he stares Ganon down. Ganon smirks and shrugs it off.

The two reset, circle again, and the fans rally up. They tie up again, and again Scaly uses his size to push Ganon back. Ganon turns it around to put Scaly on the ropes, lets off quickly, and stares Scaly down with that same smirk. Then he SLAPS Scaly! Fans fire up but Scaly’s pissed! Scaly rushes Ganon and shoves him into a corner! The ref reprimands but Scaly shouts at Ganon about thinking he’s hot stuff when he ain’t nothing! The ref counts, Scaly lets off, and the two reset again. The two tie up, Ganon headlocks but Scaly powers out. They RAM shoulders but neither budges, and the fans cheer for “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!”

Ganon eggs Scaly on, Scaly talks trash, and then Scaly runs. Scaly RAMS Ganon, “MEAT!” but Ganon stays up. Ganon smirks and pumps himself up before he runs and RAMS Scaly, “MEAT!” Scaly runs and “MEAT!” RAMS Ganon again! Ganon rebounds to “MEAT!” RAM Scaly! They RAM each other again and again, “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Ganon UPPERCUTS first! Fans boo but Ganon runs, only for Scaly to CLOBBER him! The fans fire up while Scaly roars! Scaly looms over Ganon while fans chant “This is Meaty!” Scaly sits Ganon up to CLUB him in the chest! And CLUB him again and again and again, “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!”

Ganon sputters, Scaly facelocks and deadlifts Ganon, but Ganon fights the suplex! Ganon throws body shots, wrenches out, then CHOPS Scaly! “WOO~!” And CHOPS! “WOO~!” Scaly ROCKS Ganon with a forearm! “MEAT!” And ROCKS him again, “MEAT!” Ganon CHOPS, “WOO~!” Scaly forearms, “MEAT!” They go back and forth, CHOP, “WOO~!” and forearm, “MEAT!” “WOO~! MEAT! WOO~! MEAT!” Scaly gets the edge with forearms, “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Scaly whips, Ganon reverses and SPINE- NO, Scaly fights off the spinebuster, then knees Ganon low. Scaly whips again, fireman’s carries and GORON DROPS!

The fans are torn while both men are down. Ganon and Scaly crawl for their corners, hot tags to Cia and Ruto! The fans fire up as Ruto dodges Cia and comes back to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Cia staggers to her feet, Ruto DROPKICKS her down! Ruto hurries to cover, TWO! Ruto drags Cia up and whips her to a corner. Ruto runs in, Cia dodges and comes back to ELBOW! Cia sits Ruto down, runs side to side, for a BOOT WASH! Cia drags Ruto to a cover, TWO! Ruto stays in this but Cia stays on her with a chinlock. The fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Cia!” “Let’s Go, Ruto!” Ruto endures, fights up, and she throws Cia away!

Cia comes back but Ruto gets around and waistlocks. Cia fights the lift, throws elbows, gets free, but Ruto keeps her from running. Cia uses a leg to get free, then ELBOWS Ruto. Cia runs, but Ruto drop toeholds! Ruto floats and underhooks, but Cia resists the lift. So Ruto SWINGS Cia while inside the underhooks! The fans are torn as Ruto goes around and around, then BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES into an ARMBAR! The fans duel as Cia endures! Cia reaches out, kicks around, claws at the mat, and manages the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Ruto lets go at 4, and Cia bails out. Cia shakes the arm, but Ruto pursues.

Ruto CLUBS Cia, CLUBS her again and again, then whips her into barriers! Ruto soaks up the cheers and jeers, then storms up to Cia to stomp her down. The ref starts the ring count, but Ruto brings Cia around. Ruto talks trash on Ganon, aims at the apron, but Cia blocks the apron bump. Cia elbows Ruto low, then SMACKS her off the apron! Cia pushes Ruto into the ring, but has to hurry to keep her from Scaly! Cia drags Ruto back, then drops knees on Ruto’s back! Cia ties up Ruto’s legs, then pulls her into the BOW ‘N’ ARROW! Ruto endures, pops free and covers, TWO! Ruto kicks, Cia blocks, and she KNEES Ruto in return!

Ruto wobbles, Cia reels her in and gets around, but Ruto scrambles to stop the backstabber! They end up on the ropes, the ref counts, and Cia lets off, only for Ruto to CLAW Cia’s face! The ref reprimands, Ruto fireman’s carries, but then Cia CLAWS Ruto’s face! The ref reprimands Cia now, but Cia waistlocks. They go to ropes, Cia O’Conner Rolls, TWO and Ruto rolls Cia back! TWO and Cia rolls Ruto back! TWO and Ruto rolls back again, and reaches for ropes! The ref sees that, so Ruto puts her hands up, TWO and Ruto tumbles forward! Both women get up, run in, and DOUBLE LARIAT! Both women fall and the fans fire up!

Cia and Ruto stir, crawl for their corners, kick at each other, then crawl some more, hot tags to Ganon and Scaly! The fans fire up as the two run in and DOUBLE LARIAT, but stay up! The fans fire up as both men roar, and they start throwing hands! “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Ganon gets the edge as he fires shot after shot, but then Scaly BODY BLOWS! Ganon sputters but Scaly stands him up. Scaly roars as he prepares his thumb, but Ganon grabs Scaly by the head to HEADBUTT first! Ganon reels Scaly in, underhooks, but Scaly RAMS Ganon into a corner! Scaly digs his shoulders in, lets off as the ref counts, and then whips Ganon corner to corner!

Scaly roars while the fans are torn, and he runs in, but Ganon dodges! Scaly hits buckles, staggers as Ganon goes corner to corner, KICK OF CALAMITY!! Cover, The Dark Forces win!

Winners: Cia & Ganon, by pinfall

The Gerudo Ace ends this in the blink of an eye! Will Ganon lead the Dark Forces to even more victories? Will Cia once again be Goddess Champion? Or can Arrow Club survive with these targets on their back?


Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship: Link VS Yunobo!

The Hero of Hyrule defeated his Shadow at HyruleMania 4 to truly be THE champion of Hyrule! But now, a young and determined Goron is looking to be the hero of his bloodline! Will Link be able to weather the storm? Or will he be steamrolled by this new generation?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is undisputed!

HyruleProWrestling TriforceChampionshipUNDISPUTED

The bell rings and the fans rally up for “LINK! LINK! LINK!” Link and Yunobo take in the moment, then slowly circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Yunobo powers Link back to ropes. Referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts, Yunobo lets off slowly, and the fans applaud the sportsmanship. Link nods and the two reset. They circle again, tie up, and Link wrenches to a wristlock. Yunobo reaches out but Link keeps him from ropes. Yunobo rolls and rolls, then rolls again to get free. The fans applaud as the two stand off and reset again. They approach, feel things out, and Link gets around to waistlock. But Yunobo’s a bit too big to lift!

Yunobo elbows free, runs, but into a SUPERKICK! Yunobo wobbles but stays up, to Link’s surprise. Link SUPERKICKS again, Yunobo rebounds off ropes and he CLOBBERS Link! Fans boo, a bit to his confusion, but Yunobo lines up a shot. Link sits up, into the BASEMENT CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer as Link stays in this, but Yunobo stays on Link with a chinlock. Yunobo leans his weight on the hold while Link endures and the fans rally up. Link fights up, reaches out for ropes, but Yunobo keeps him back. Link throws body shots, then JAWBREAKERS! Yunobo staggers away and fans fire up!

Link shakes out the cobwebs and catches his breath. Link runs up on Yunobo to fire forearms, but Yunobo shoves him back. Link rolls, runs back in, but Yunobo runs him over! Fans boo more but Yunobo runs. Link stays low, then hurdles, hurdles, then DROPKICKS! Yunobo tumbles out of the ring as the fans fire up! Link builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit on Yunobo, he hits railing but stays up! Link slides back in, builds speed again, and DIVES again! Another direct hit and Yunobo hits railing, but he still stays up! Link slides in one more time and builds speed again, and DIVES! Yunobo hits railing and finally falls!

The fans fire up as Link stands and roars! Link drags Yunobo up, pushes him into the ring, and drags him into a drop zone. Link goes up the corner, ICE ARROW! Cover, TWO! Yunobo stays in this but Link stays focused. Link clamps onto Yunobo with a chinlock stretch and bends Yunobo back. Yunobo endures the knee between his shoulders while fans rally up. Yunobo fights up, pries at the chinlock, and gets it open! Yunobo arm-drags Link away, Link comes back, but into a fireman’s carry! GORON DROP! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer while Yunobo grows frustrated. Yunobo grabs Link’s legs, and he turns Link over for a SAND CRAB!

The fans rally up while Link endures and Yunobo sits deep! Link claws at the mat, crawls his way over and reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer, Yunobo lets off in frustration, and Link bails out. Yunobo storms out to the apron, takes aim, and FLYING SHOULDER TACKLES! The fans boo as Link hits the floor. Yunobo drags Link up and whips him into the steel steps! The fans boo more while Yunobo storms over to Link. Yunobo drags Link up, fireman’s carries him, and then moves the steel steps back to where they were. Yunobo goes up the steel steps, then up the corner?! The fans are going nuts as Yunobo stands on the second rope! SUPER GORON DROP!!

The fans lose their minds while both men are down! Yunobo crawls to the cover, TWO!! Link survives and the fans fire up again! Yunobo is frustrated again, and he drags Link to a corner. Yunobo storms over to the far corner, fires himself up, then runs corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Fans boo, but Yunobo isn’t done! He drags Link to the drop zone and then goes up the corner! DEATH MOUNTAIN SPLASH FLOPS! Link narrowly avoids disaster and the fans fire up again while both men are down! Sahasrahla checks both men, they’re both okay, so a standing count begins. The fans rally up, Link crawls to ropes and drags himself up.

Link stands at 6 of 10, stalks up behind Yunobo, and waistlocks. But Yunobo is too big to lift! Yunobo throws Link off, runs up, but Link sidesteps and Yunobo hits ropes, SNAP GERMAN! The fans fire up but Yunobo rolls right to his feet! Yunobo swings, Link ducks but Yunobo’s LEFT gets him from behind! Yunobo then deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up as Link stays in this, but Yunobo drags him back to a corner. Yunobo stomps a mudhole, then he runs corner to corner and comes back again! But into Link’s SUPERKICK! Yunobo staggers and wobbles, Link HOOK SHOTS!

Yunobo drops to a knee, Link runs, Yunobo ducks the shining wizard but the BOOMERANG KICK hits! Yunobo flops over and Link drags him back into the drop zone! Link goes up the corner, aims, and FIRE ARROW! But onto knees! Yunobo saves himself, then drags Link into a cradle! TWO!! The fans fire up while both men are down again! Link and Yunobo stir and the fans rally up. Yunobo stands first, storms up on Link, whips, but Link reverses to break free. Yunobo blocks the Superkick, spins Link but Link DRAGON WHIPS! Yunobo staggers to ropes, yoyos to rebound, and LARIATS Link inside-out! Both men are down and the fans fire up again!

Yunobo pounds the mat and fires back up, but the fans boo as he roars. Yunobo storms over to drag Link up, reel him in and lift, to POWERBOMB! Yunobo rolls Link back to his feet to clinch, for an URENAGE! Yunobo roars, runs, and ROLLING THUNDER! Cover, TWO, into a ghost pin! TWO!! Yunobo escapes, stands, takes a swing, but Link dodges! Link runs, but Yunobo goes the other direction, to POUNCE~!! Link is sent to ropes then flops into the second ring! Yunobo storms over after Link, drags him back to the first ring, then puts Link on the apron. Yunobo hops down to CLUB him in the chest! And CLUB him again!

Yunobo gets up on the apron, lines up a shot, and APRON SPLASHES!! Link sputters and coughs while fans lose their minds! Yunobo steps back inside, drags Link from the ropes, and then covers, TWO?!? Link survives and shocks everyone! Yunobo is furious and he stomps around in frustration! Yunobo goes to a corner, takes aim, and waits on Link to get up. Yunobo runs in, GORE GORO!! The same tackling attack his grandfather used to use! Cover, WHAT’S KAGE DOING HERE?! He CURB STOMPS Yunobo!! Sahasrahla freaks out like the rest of us but still calls for the bell!

Winner: Yunobo, by disqualification (Link is still Undisputed HPW Triforce World Champion)

The fans are going nuts, because this is the first time we’ve seen Kage in five MONTHS! Kage drags Link up, pats him on the shoulder, and says, “You’re welcome, brother.” What?! And then he goes to raise Link’s hand in victory! Link pulls away, just as confused and upset as everyone else! Link asks Kage what he’s even doing, but Kage asks, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m helping you!” What? Since when does Kage want to help Link?! Yunobo gets up, and he’s also mad! He asks why Link would cheat to win! Link says he didn’t cheat, Kage did all this on his own! Kage says Link is being ungrateful but Link tells him to shut up!

Yunobo is still mad, and he DOUBLE LARIATS them both! The fans boo but Yunobo drags Link up and fireman’s carries. But Link slips free, shoves Yunobo away, but Yunobo blocks the superkick! Only for Kage to MASTER SWORD Yunobo down! The fans are again torn, but Kage sits Yunobo back up. Kage grabs one arm and he tells Link to get the other! Link says no! Kage calls Link “brother” again, so Link SUPERKICKS him! Kage falls right over, and Link goes out to grab the championship. Link leaves both Kage and Yunobo behind, furious over how this all just went down. What is going on in Kage’s twisted mind that he’d do this as part of his return?


Blood & Thunder: The Dark Forces VS The UnderWorld Order!

Even as both factions have changed, from losing members to adding members, the feud continues and escalates! Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Wizzro and Zant battle Gomess, Death Sword, Scaldera and Hollywood ReDead himself, with a golden opportunity on the line! Will the change to the Dark Forces bring a change of fortunes? Or will the uWo bury them once and for all?

Given the uWo got themselves in this mess, they also don’t get the advantage! The Dark Forces will be adding a man first every time, but that means someone from the uWo will be the freshest in the end. For now, this match starts with Kevin and Scaldera. The door closes, the bell rings, and the clock starts as these two tie up right away. The fans rally as the two go around. Scaldera puts Kevin on ropes, Kevin pushes back and powers Scaldera into a corner. Kevin CHOKES Scaldera, and there’s no need to let off! Kevin still does let off, to then TOSS Scaldera across the ring! The fans fire up while Scaldera flounders towards the second ring.

Kevin storms after Scaldera, grabs him through No Man’s Land, but Scaldera HOTSHOTS Kevin back! Kevin staggers away, Scaldera gets back into the first ring, and he RAMS Kevin into the steel cage! Fans boo but Scaldera brings Kevin around to THROW him into steel! Kevin falls back and Scaldera roars while the fans boo more. Scaldera stomps Kevin around, eggs him on, then stomps him more. Kevin goes to ropes, Scaldera CHOKES him in return! The fans boo, Scaldera lets off with a clubbing crossface forearm! Scaldera sits Kevin up, and he BITES Kevin on the head! The fans boo more, and Scaldera lets off to soak up the heat.

Scaldera drags Kevin up, whips him into a corner, then runs in to clothesline! Scaldera then whips corner to corner, runs in again and clotheslines! The fans boo as Scaldera then reels Kevin in for a SIDEWALK SLAM! But the countdown is nearing the end! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The Dark Forces send… Volga! The Dragon Knight rushes down, slides in, and dodges Scaldera to SLINGBLADE! The fans fire up and Volga keeps moving, SLINGBLADE! Scaldera staggers up, Volga mule kicks, front kicks, then whips Scaldera to Kevin. Kevin body blows, Volga knee lifts, and Kevin BOOTS Scaldera down!

The fans fire up with The Dark Forces as they stand tall! They drag Scaldera up, throw some more hands, then put him in a corner. They both stomp mudholes into Scaldera, then Volga scrapes his boot off Scaldera’s face. The fans rally as Volga scrubs Scaldera again and again. Volga then goes side to side to BOOT WASH Scaldera into the steel! The fans cheer, Volga takes a bow, and then Kevin drags Scaldera up. Kevin fires body shots and fast hands, then UPPERCUTS Scaldera. Scaldera wobbles, Kevin scoops him, SNAKE EYES! Kevin now runs side to side and he BOOTS Scaldera back down! The fans cheer, and Kevin also takes a bow.

Scaldera sputters and crawls back for No Man’s Land, but Volga hurries right into the second ring to cut him off. Scaldera looks up and sees Volga there. Scaldera stands up and turns around, to see Kevin. Scaldera realizes he’s caught between the two! He tries to go to one side, but Volga steps in his way. Scaldera tries to go the other way, but Kevin steps in his way. And then Kevin and Volga start throwing hands! The fans cheer as Scaldera gets mugged in the very middle of the rings! Volga ROCKS Scaldera, he and Kevin coordinate and they both run, and they SANDWICH Scaldera between them! The fans cheer and they both take a bow!

But now the countdown’s back! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The UnderWorld Order sends out… Gomess! Gomess practically glides down the ramp with the help of his Keese minions, then he gets right into the ring! Volga intercepts and the two start throwing wild hands! The fans fire up, especially as Volga gets the edge! Volga whips, Gomess reverses, but Volga goes up and over in the corner! Kevin runs in but Gomess dodges! Volga runs back in but Gomess sends him into Kevin! Scaldera runs in to clothesline them both! Scaldera then sends Volga to Gomess for a back drop! Scaldera CHOKES Kevin in the corner!

Gomess stomps Volga to a corner, Volga goes into No Man’s Land, so Gomess pursues him into the second ring. Kevin pulls Scaldera’s hands away from his throat, kicks low, then bumps Scaldera off the buckles. Gomess bumps Volga off buckles, then he stomps a mudhole in. Kevin throws Scaldera into the steel! Scaldera staggers, Kevin LARIATS him down! Gomess brings Volga up, whips corner to corner, but Volga reverses! Volga runs in, forearm smash, then he goes side to side! Forearm smash again! Volga goes side to side the other way, only for Gomess to send him into steel! Volga staggers back, Gomess LARIATS him down!

Gomess and Kevin stare down from across the way. They egg each other on, and so Gomess storms into the first ring! Kevin ROCKS Gomess first! Gomess staggers back, but returns to ROCK Kevin! Kevin ROCKS Gomess again, but Gomess ROCKS Kevin back! The fans fire up as they keep going back and forth, and the countdown returns! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” Zant ushers Wizzro out, which Wizzro is surprised by, but he still hurries down to the ring. Wizzro stops before the door, and he looks under the ring! The fans fire up as Wizzro brings in a chair! Wizzro gets in, Kevin ROCKS Gomess, and Wizzro JAMS Gomess up!

Wizzro SMACKS Gomess on the back! The fans cheer, Wizzro hands the chair off to Kevin, and Kevin aims to JAM Scaldera up! And then Kevin SMACKS Scaldera on the back! Volga hobbles his way over, Kevin shoves Scaldera into a corner and stomps him down. Wizzro wedges the chair in front of Scaldera, then Volga runs in corner to corner, FULL METAL DROPKICK! The fans fire up and chant “One More Time! One More Time!” Kevin and Wizzro mug Gomess, the put him in the other corner and Volga sends the chair over. The chair is put in front of Gomess now, and Volga runs in, another FULL METAL DROPKICK!

The fans cheer while the Dark Forces OGs high-five. Volga even shows off the dent forming in the chair! That chair is tossed aside, and he stomps Gomess. Kevin throws down hands on Scaldera, and Wizzro points out the countdown! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The uWo sends… Death Sword! The wrestling reaper storms down the ramp, but he stops before going in through the doorway. Death Sword looks under the ring, and he brings out a black two-by-four, wrapped in barbed wire! What’s that written on it? “Elvira?” Well, Death Sword brings Elvira into the ring, and Wizzro runs up, but into a BOOT!

Volga turns around but Gomess anchors Volga by a foot! Volga kicks free, only for ELVIRA to hit him in the stomach! The fans go nuts, then Death Sword CLUBS Volga on the back with Elvira! Volga writhes in pain, Kevin storms up, but Gomess DROPKICKS Kevin down! And then Death Sword stands over Kevin to JAM him in the gut with Elvira! Fans boo as Death Sword leans on Elvira to dig her into Kevin! Kevin grabs at the piece of wood, even though the barbed wire is there! Kevin tries to lift Elvira away, but Scaldera drops an ax handle on his head! The fans boo while the uWo stomp away on Kevin.

Wizzro gets up, but Death Sword JAMS him with Elvira’s backside. Then Death Sword shoves Wizzro to a corner. Fans boo as Scaldera BITES Kevin’s forehead and Death Sword DIGS Elvira’s barbed wires into Wizzro’s forehead! The fans tell the uWo they’re sick as they’ve drawn blood from Kevin and Wizzro! Volga gets up and throws hands on Death Sword, but Gomess grabs him for a SLEEPER! Volga flails, Death Sword JAMS him low! Gomess hits a BIG back suplex! Death Sword then sits Volga up so he can scrape Elvira on Volga’s forehead! The fans again tell uWo they’re sick as they make Volga suffer!

The fans boo as the uWo stands over the Dark Forces, but the uWo soaks up all the heat. Zant shakes the door of the shark cage, “Let me in! LET ME IN~!” The clock is still thirty seconds away! Kevin gets up, crimson mask forming, but Gomess ROCKS him first! Kevin stays up, Gomess ROCKS him again! Kevin staggers to ropes, Volga grabs at Scaldera’s foot, but Scaldera stomps him with the other foot! Wizzro crawls into the second ring, Death Sword pursues, and the countdown is back! “Three! Two! One! BRR!” Zant is let loose and he runs as fast as he can down the ramp! Death Sword sees him, but that distracts from Wizzro grabbing the chair!

Wizzro SMACKS Death Sword in the back! The fans fire up as Zant rummages under the ring, and he brings out a chair of his own and gets in the ring! Wizzro SMACKS Death Sword again while Zant SMACKS Scaldera! And SMACKS him again, and again, and again! Zant then JAMS Gomess, SMACKS him on the back! Zant is all fired up, and the fans are actually fired up with him! But then Zant turns around to see Scaldera is quite burning with rage! Zant sheepishly smiles and apologizes, but Scaldera choke grips him! CHOKE- SUPERKICK! Volga saves Zant from the slam, and then they DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

The fans fire up and Zant is, too! Zant gets his chair back, Volga brawls with Gomess, and Zant looks for a good opening. Volga waistlocks Gomess and Zant raises the chair, but then Gomess switches! Volga says don’t and Zant just manages to hold back! Volga fights Gomess’ lift, switches, and Zant reloads, only for Gomess to kick him away! But Kevin’s up and he runs in, LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO! The fans fire up again, and Zant hurries into the second ring. Death Sword goes to a corner, Wizzro digs his chair into him! Zant sees Elvira down on the ground. He throws his chair aside to pick Elvira up.

Zant looks Elvira over, and he grins. Zant goes to No Man’s Land so he can climb up behind Death Sword on the corner! While Wizzro keeps Death Sword in place with the chair, Zant scrapes Elvira off Death Sword’s face! Now the fans tell Zant he’s the sick one! Scaldera CLOBBERS Volga, then goes to No Man’s Land! He grabs at Zant, Zant kicks Scaldera away, but that lets Death Sword shrug Zant off. Death Sword grabs Wizzro by his head and powers out of the corner! Death Sword lifts Wizzro for a HEADBUTT! Zant loses grip of Elvira as Scaldera throws hands on him. Zant hits back, the two brawl, but Death Sword CLUBS Zant from behind!

Kevin runs up to BOOT Scaldera! Kevin throws hands on Scaldera, Death Sword throws hands on Zant, but then Scaldera and Zant both HOTSHOT them away! Scaldera ELBOWS Zant and dumps him into the second ring. Gomess is up, he throws hands on Kevin. Scaldera goes after Zant in the second ring, but Zant back elbows, UPPERCUTS, then ROLLING ELBOWS! Zant grabs a chair, and he CHUCKS it right at Scaldera’s face! Death Sword DECKS Zant! Wizzro CHOP BLOCKS Death Sword! Volga throws hands on Gomess, whips, but Gomess reverses! SLING- NO, Gomess stops that, but then Volga dodges the haymaker!

Volga runs and SLINGBLADES after all! Volga takes aim, runs in, CURB STOMP! The fans then sing, “It’s the FINAL~ COUNTDOWN~! Doodoo doo doo~! Doodoo doodoo doo~! THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!!” And of course, ReDead steps out of the cage. He storms down the ramp, and he locks eyes with Kevin. But then ReDead stops halfway? And he flips the Dark Forces off?! MAJORA’s music hits?! ReDead grins and laughs as he finds a way to avoid the fight! After all, Majora is still UnderWorld Order, and this match is about Dark Forces VS UnderWorld Order. The fans boo but Majora storms his way to the ring.

Kevin glares at ReDead and Volga eggs Majora on. But Gomess LOW BLOW UPPERCUTS Volga from behind!! Kevin goes after Gomess, and Majora goes looking under the ring. Majora brings out a TABLE! The fans are torn because they love tables but hate Majora! Majora puts that table in, then keeps looking for things. Scaldera BITES Zant on the forehead! Death Sword throws hands on Wizzro, and Majora brings out a trash can! Majora storms into the ring with the can, the door closes, and the bell rings again because now, Blood & Thunder can end! Majora then SMASHES the can on Volga’s head!

Wait, Ted Beedle Ossi is also heading out here? Beedle is talking with the ring crew about something. The door’s already locked shut, what more can there be? The ring crew waves for something, and… What’re those devices being brought out? They’re sparking and crackling with electricity! They’re being attached to the four corners of the double cage! Then Beedle slips the ring crew purple Rupees! He’s paid them all off to make this match even more dangerous! Majora drags Volga up, and THROWS him at the steel! BOOM, sparks fly as Volga gets zapped! Beedle and ReDead regroup on the ramp to watch the “fireworks.”

Death Sword THROWS Wizzro at steel and BOOM, more sparks fly! The fans boo but the uWo soaks it up. Scaldera drags Zant up to throw him into another side, and BOOM! Death Sword drags Kevin up, whips, but Kevin reverses! Death Sword hits the cage and BOOM! The fans fire up while the uWo freak out! Gomess runs up on Kevin but Kevin sidesteps to send him into steel! BOOM! Scaldera ROCKS Kevin, whips, but Kevin blocks! Kevin reels Scaldera in for a SPINEBUSTER! Kevin then has Scaldera’s legs for a CATAPULT that sends Scaldera in to steel! BOOM! The fans are thunderous as Kevin now stares down Majora!

Majora and Kevin circle, then they start throwing hands! The fans fire up as Kevin gets the edge! Kevin whips, but Majora stops himself from hitting steel! Only for Kevin to choke grip! Majora CLUBS at Kevin’s arm, gets free, but Kevin BOOTS him! Majora staggers, still avoids the steel, but Volga springboards in from No Man’s Land to FLYING KNEE! Majora staggers into the steel, BOOM! Death Sword is up, and he has Elvira back! Death Sword CLOBBERS Volga, then he CLUBS Kevin in the ribs! Kevin drops to a knee, Death Sword brings Elvira up, but Kevin blocks the headshot! Even though he has to grab the barbed wire!

The fans go nuts as Kevin powers up and stands to his feet! Zant springboards up and over Kevin to BLOCKBUSTER Death Sword! Kevin has Elvira for his own now, and he CLUBS Scaldera! Kevin CLOBBERS Gomess! The fans fire up as Kevin shoves Gomess and Death Sword into the second ring. Zant joins Wizzro in that ring, Volga and Kevin have Scaldera and Majora in the first ring. The Dark Forces coordinate, and together, they throw everyone into a side of the cage! QUADRUPLE BOOM!!! Volga finds that dented trash can, and he SMASHES Majora in the head with it! Kevin gut wrenches Majora, and Volga says hold on.

Volga sets the can down underneath Kevin, then takes a chair and stands it up. Volga stands on the chair so he can jump off and help in the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER on the trash can!! Is that a shot at Arrow Club? Kevin folds Majora’s arms for the cover, Dark Forces win!!

Winners: The Dark Forces, by pinfall (promised future title opportunities)

The fans cheer while ReDead and Beedle are furious! The electrification is powered down, the door is opened, but The Dark Forces stay in the cage to celebrate a moment. Kevin gets a mic, and he looks right at ReDead as he says, “I don’t need any time to decide what title match I want, I knew the moment this match was made. ReDead, you dumb, rotten bast*rd, you should’ve fought this fight yourself to make sure your team won. Because now, I’m coming after you and that Million Rupee Championship! In WRESTLING ROULETTE!!” The fans go wild while ReDead is losing his mind!

It’ll be spin the wheel, make the deal, will ReDead regret trying to run from his past? Or is Kevin running headlong into a Dead End?

My Thoughts:

That’s right! Blood & Thunder turned into an exploding death match! I meant to do that the years before but there was never good story as to why, and I also just kept forgetting. But hooray for kicking it in this year to superficially up the violence in this truly fictional wrestling match. Also, I did my best to remember that there were two rings even for the other matches, adjusting some spots to match. But naturally, Thunderbird retains in his first title defense, and also naturally, Cia’s team wins so she has momentum going into the title match.

Link VS Yunobo was only tricky in the finish because I also wanted to bring Kage back around, since he wasn’t in the tournament and therefore gone for over four months. There’ll be some fun new wrinkles starting with this that of course lead to another Triforce title match. And while being promised future title matches would (rightfully) make you think someone from Dark Forces would want the top title, storytelling wise it makes sense to give Kevin one more shot at ReDead, upping things with a Spin the Wheel Make the Deal stipulation, which will also be a lot of fun.

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