Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW Wrestling Satsuma no Kuni Results & Report! (4/29/23)

NJPW is on fire!

Published

1 year ago

April 29, 2023

Steven Mitchell

Will the Holy Emperor finally slay The Rampaging Dragon?

Taichi and Shingo Takagi have battled over the KOPW Championship before, and this could be their biggest showdown yet: a Takagi Style Triad match!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Bishamon VS Toru Yano & Boltin Oleg; Bishamon wins.
Shota Umino & Oskar Leube VS EVIL & Yujiro Takahashi; Evil & Yujiro win.
Six Man Tag: Tomoaki Honma & The Intergalactic Jet Setters VS The United Empire; The United Empire wins.
Zack Sabre Jr. & Kosei Fujita VS Jeff Cobb & Great-O-Khan; Cobb & Khan win.
8 Man Tag: Kazuchika Okada, Tomohiro Ishii, Togi Makabe & Ryohei Oiwa VS Team Strong Style & Yuto Nakashima; Team Strong Style & Nakashima win.
8 Man Tag: Tama Tonga, Hikuleo, Master Wato & Jado VS Bullet Club; Tama, Hikuleo, Wato & Jado win.
Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS SANADA, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & DOUKI; Sanada, Kanemaru & Douki win.
IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Aussie Open VS TMDK; Aussie Open wins and retains the titles.
KOPW Championship Takagi Style Triad Match: Shingo Takagi VS Taichi; Taichi wins and becomes the new KOPW Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS SANADA, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & DOUKI w/ Taka Michinoku!

Hiromu Takahashi survived the battle with the Heel Master, and now he’s aiming for the top! Will Tetsuya Naito & Bushi help the Ticking Timebomb roll towards Wrestling Dontaku? Or will the Cold Skull and his guys be anything but tranquilo?

As part of their entrance, Just5Guys split up and go through the crowd from the ramp side, and make their way all around to then meet at the ring. Sanada stares down with Hiromu, champion to champion. The teams sort out, Naito taking his time with the entrance attire. Fans applaud as LIJ fist bumps, but then J5G attack! The bell rings to get this on record as Sanada throws Hiromu out and Kanemaru throws Bushi out. Douki keeps after Naito as payback for just a couple days ago. Sanada whips but Hiromu reverses to send Sanada hard into railing! Kanemaru ends up the same way as Bushi whips him into railing!

Douki fires forearms back and forth with Naito! Fans rally up as the shots go faster and faster! Naito gets the edge, but Douki HELL STABS! Douki whips, Naito reverses and arm-drags! Naito then dodges Douki to hip toss and basement dropkick! Fans applaud, and Naito drags Douki up by his mask. Tag to Bushi, LIJ mugs Douki, then Bushi turns Douki for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, ONE! Douki hangs tough and fans applaud as Bushi brings him up. Douki fires off forearms, runs, but into a kick! Bushi runs as Hiromu slides in! Hiromu dropkicks Douki’s legs out, and Bushi basement dropkicks Douki!

J5G complain but Hiromu bails out. Bushi tags Naito back in and Naito stalks Douki to a corner. Naito throws hands, but Douki fires forearms! Naito rakes the eyes! The ref reprimands, Naito lets off, and Naito whips corner to corner. Naito runs in to JUMP KICK! Leg sweep! COMBINATION CABRON! Naito poses and fans fire up while Douki writhes. Naito stares J5G down, then spits on Douki! Douki throws forearms but Naito pulls hair and mask! Douki breaks free, swings a punch but Naito gets around to a waistlock. Douki switches but Naito switches, but Douki fights free. Naito reels Douki in, Douki uses his leg to get free, then he DDTs Naito down!

J5G BLAST Hiromu and Bushi off the corner! Douki kicks Naito out while Sanada sends Hiromu into railing! Kanemaru sends Bushi into railing, and then Douki whips Naito hard into railing! Naito ends up stuck upside-down! Naito flops into No Man’s Land so Douki goes after him. Sanada brings Hiromu up to CLAW his back! Hiromu hits back with forearms! Sanada knees low, CLUBS Hiromu down, and Douki brings Naito back to the ring. Tag to Kanemaru and he drags Naito up. Kanemaru snapmares, runs and basement dropkicks! Cover, TWO! Kanemaru drags Naito back up to drag out of the ring.

Douki helps keep Naito on the apron, for Kanemaru to DRIVE-BY DROPKICK! Naito writhes but Kanemaru drags him back in. Kanemaru then goes to the apron, to SLINGSHOT SENTON! Cover, TWO! Tag to Sanada and they get the legs, to drop knees on Naito’s ribs! A wishbone fake-out! Sanada stands Naito up to throw knees into the stomach. Sanada whips corner to corner, runs in and elbows, then brings Naito out to snap suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and Sanada tags Douki. Douki drags Naito up but Naito deadweights him. Fans rally up, Douki drags Naito up but Naito throws forearms!

Douki dodges, catches Naito, ITALIAN STRETCH #32! J5G BLAST LIJ off the corner again! Naito endures, moves around, reaches out, and fans rally for “NA-I-TO!” as he gets the ROPEBREAK! Douki holds until Hiromu stomps him down! Douki hits Hiromu back then throws him out. Douki drags Naito to a drop zone then climbs the corner. DIVING DOUBLE- NO, Naito avoids the stomps! Naito BOOTS from the corner, then ELBOWS Douki! Douki ENZIGURIS! Douki whips, Naito reverses, TORNADO DDT! Fans fire up while both men are down. Fans rally up, both men crawl, hot tags to Hiromu and Sanada!

Fans fire up as Hiromu fires off forearms on Sanada! Hiromu whips, Sanada reverses but Hiromu ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Sanada goes to a corner, Kanemaru runs in, but Hiromu dodges the boot! Hiromu kicks and whips Kanemaru to a corner, to clothesline! Then a clothesline for Sanada! Kanemaru runs in, Hiromu dodges, and Kanemaru stops from colliding with Sanada! Hiromu runs back in to SHOTGUN Kanemaru into Sanada! Then he clotheslines Sanada! Snapmare and running basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Hiromu fires up and the fans fire up with him! Hiromu fireman’s carries, but Sanada fights free!

Sanada shoves Hiromu away but Hiromu BOOTS back! Hiromu runs, Sanada hurdles! And hurdles! And DROPKICKS! Fans fire up again while Sanada grits his teeth. Sanada encourages the fans to get louder and they do. Sanada brings Hiromu up but Hiromu throws forearms! Sanada CHOPS in return! Fans duel and Hiromu grits his teeth. Hiromu CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Sanada CHOPS back! Then waistlocks to back suplex! Hiromu lands on his feet but his leg still bothers him! Sanada avoids the superkick, fireman’s carries, but Hiromu fights free with elbows! Only to run into another fireman’s carry!

Sanada throws Hiromu into the dragon sleeper! Hiromu fights free to arm-drag! Then he spins Sanada around to a FALCON ARROW! Both men are down and fans fire back up! Fans rally, Hiromu and Sanada crawl, hot tag to Bushi! Bushi DECKS Douki to cut Sanada off. Bushi BOOTS Sanada, runs and RANAS! Kanemaru kicks Bushi, runs but into a dropkick to the legs! Fans rally up as Bushi brings Sanada around. Sanada knees low, whips, but Bushi reverses. Bushi kicks low, then runs to sunset flips! Rewind for Naito’s basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and Bushi brings Sanada back up.

Sanada slips out of Fisherman Screw but Bushi kicks low again. Bushi runs but Sanada follows to O’Conner Roll, then dragon sleeper! SKULL END! Naito storms in to stomp away on Sanada! Kanemaru dropkicks Naito’s leg! Douki RANAS Naito, Kanemaru DECKS Hiromu! Douki DIVES out onto Naito into the railing! Fans fire up but Sanada has Bushi in the SKULL END again!! SKULL SWING!! But Bushi turns it into a cradle!? TWO!!! Sanada escapes just in time! Bushi swings, into the SHIRANUI into SKULL END!!! Bushi taps, J5G wins!

Winners: Sanada, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & Douki, by submission

Hiromu is frustrated as he was just a second too late. The IWGP World Heavyweight Champion stands tall tonight, but will the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion find a way at Wrestling Dontaku?

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Aussie Open w/ The United Empire VS TMDK w/ Zack Sabre Jr. & Kosei Fujita!

Kyle Fletcher & Mark Davis are DOUBLE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, but that could be just for now! They’re up against the Mighty OG, Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls! Will the Aussie Arrow & Dunkzilla see that The Mighty Don’t Kneel? Or will the United Empire hold onto all their gold?

The introductions are made, the heavyweight titles are raised, and we see who is truly mighty!

The teams sort out and after the Empire throw up the crowns, Davis starts with Mikey. Fans rally as the two stare down. Mikey eggs Davis on, they tie up, and are in a deadlock. Davis uses leverage to push Mikey back to ropes, and Red Shoes calls the break. Davis lets off clean, but then swings! Mikey dodges to headlock! Davis powers up but can’t power out as Mikey holds tight. Davis throws hands, powers out the second time, and they RAM shoulders! Neither man falls so Mikey runs, and they RAM shoulders again! Davis just snarls at Mikey, so Mikey tries again. Mikey ducks ‘n’ dodges and RAMS Davis, but Davis rebounds to run Mikey over!

Fans rally as Mikey gets up and Davis CHOPS Mikey back down! Davis wrenches an arm, brings Mikey over and tags in Fletcher. Mikey gets away and Shane tags in. Fans applaud as the speedsters now circle. They tie up, Shane gets around to headlock and he grinds Fletcher down. Fletcher powers up and out, things speed up, and Fletcher hurdles. Shane waistlocks, Fletcher wrenches out, but Shane rolls, kips up and arm-drags Fletcher! Fletcher scoop SLAMS Shane! Fans applaud the exchange while Fletcher tags Davis. Aussie Open double whip Shane, double CHOP, then sit him up. But Mikey trips Fletcher on the Penalty Kick!

Mikey drags Fletcher out, Davis goes through with the combo, but Shane avoids the senton! Mikey sends Fletcher into railing, then joins Shane. They double whip Davis, but he holds ropes. Davis BOOTS Shane, dodges Mikey, and Fletcher dumps Mikey out as payback! Davis gets Shane up, he and Fletcher double whip to double CHOP! PENALTY KICK! SENTON! The combo completes and fans fire up! Aussie Open drag Shane to a cover, but Davis’ knee is too high on Shane’s neck for Red Shoes’ liking. Davis lets off to KICK Shane in the back. Davis stands Shane up to CHOP! And then he CHOP LARIATS in the corner!

Davis drags Shane out to then scoop SLAM! And SENTON! Cover, TWO! Fans rally while Davis looms over Shane. Davis stands Shane up, wrenches the arm, and tags Fletcher. Aussie Open mugs Shane, Shane hits back but Fletcher ROCKS him with a forearm! Fletcher has Shane in a corner, and ROCKS him with a body shot! Shane shoves Fletcher, BOOTS him, then UPPERCUTS! Fletcher kicks low, whips, but Shane reverses to RANA! Both men are down and fans fire up! Hot tag to Mikey! Mikey rallies on Fletcher, knocks Davis off the apron, then swings but misses on Fletcher! Fletcher waistlocks but Mikey spins around to DDT!

Fletcher sits up, Mikey hits a BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up again as Mikey drags Fletcher up. Mikey fireman’s carries, Fletcher fights free and waistlocks, but Mikey switches to O’Conner Roll! TWO but Mikey uses that momentum to BLAST Davis! Mikey SLIDING LARIATS Fletcher, covers, TWO! Mikey keeps close on Fletcher and gives him some toying kicks. Mikey drags Fletcher up, throws body shots, and then CHOPS him to the corner! Tag to Shane and Mikey throws Fletcher out. Mikey BLASTS Davis again while Shane whips Fletcher hard into railing! Fletcher tumbles up and over into No Man’s Land!

Shane goes out to fetch Fletcher, and he KICKS Fletcher in the back, right in front of the front row! Shane drags Fletcher up to TOSS back over the railing, and he returns to the ring for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Shane pushes Fletcher in at 12 of 20 to cover, TWO! Shane stomps Fletcher down, KICKS him around, then gives him even more kicks and stomps. Fletcher stands up to ROCK Shane! And again! And again! Shane DROPKICKS Fletcher! Tag to Mikey and Mikey drags Fletcher to center. Mikey drops a knee on Fletcher’s head! Mikey wraps Fletcher up in a seated abdominal stretch!

Mikey fishhooks Fletcher’s face! Red Shoes reprimands and Mikey stops, only to turn Fletcher away and fishhook him out of Red Shoes’ sight! Red shoes sees it now, and Mikey stops again. Mikey pushes Fletcher down, but Fletcher avoids the knee drop! Mikey hurries to CLOBBER Fletcher and keep him from Davis! Mikey bumps Fletcher off buckles, then tags Shane. Shane BLASTS Davis, and then helps Mikey in the BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, but Davis breaks it apart immediately! Mikey DECKS Davis! Henare & Khan stare down ZSJ and Fujita, Shane RAMS Fletcher into buckles!

Shane KICKS Fletcher in the back! Khan coaches Fletcher but Shane CHOKES him on the ropes! Red Shoes counts, Shane lets off, and he distracts Red Shoes so that Mikey can CHOKE and even BITE Fletcher! Mikey gets away with it, Red Shoes gets the Empire to calm down and stay in their corner, and Shane stands Fletcher up. Fletcher fights the suplex, fans rally up, and Fletcher throws hands! Fletcher reaches out but Shane reels him in. Fletcher switches, Shane switches, repeat, but Fletcher gets Shane for a BRAINBUSTER! Fans fire up and both men crawl, hot tags to Davis and Mikey!

Davis busts through Mikey’s lariat to clothesline Shane in the corner! Davis then CHOPS Mikey, clotheslines Shane again, and CHOPS Mikey again! And again! Mikey dodges, TMDK both kick low! They double whip but Davis cartwheels through! Davis comes back, DOUBLE LARIAT, but Mikey dodges! Davis comes back and LARIATS Mikey after all! Fans fire up with Dunkzilla as he runs in to clotheslines Mikey in a corner! Then he runs to clothesline Shane in a corner! Then Davis short arm LARIATS Shane! Shane bails out, Mikey is on the apron, Davis triangle jump LARIATS him down!

Fletcher returns and he builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit on both TMDK at the ramp! Fletcher hurries to get Mikey up and in for Davis! SAIDO! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up while Mikey flounders. Davis runs but Mikey LARIATS first! Mikey runs, but Davis LARIATS back! They throw forearms back and forth, harder and harder, faster and faster! They just keep going! Both men roar and get forehead to forehead. Davis BLASTS Shane, DOUBLE LARIATS collide! And then DOUBLE LARIATS collide again! Mikey dodges to DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! But Davis is right back up to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!

But Mikey is right back up! DOUBLE LARIATS take both men down!! Fans are thunderous, and both factions are pounding the apron! Mikey and Davis crawl, hot tags to Fletcher and Shane! Shane CHOPS Fletcher, but Fletcher just grimaces. Fletcher CHOPS Shane, so Shane CHOPS again! They CHOP and CHOP and CHOP back and forth! Fletcher gets the edge with CHOP after CHOP, but Shane KICKS and UPPERCUTS and UPPERCUTS again! Shane swings, but into a HALF ‘N’ HALF! Fans rally up again as Shane flounders to a corner. Fletcher runs in to GAMANGIRI! And then suplex, but Shane fights out!

Shane UPPERCUTS, reels Fletcher in, FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO! Shane calls to Mikey and he gets in to scoop Fletcher. But Davis saves Fletcher and Aussie Open throws forearms on TMDK! They have TMDK in opposite corners, then pick them both up, for the SPINE- NO, double sunset flips! Aussie Open slips out but they get clotheslines! TMDK then trade to clothesline the other way! TMDK trade back, but Aussie Open dodges! But then TMDK dodges, only to run into the SPINEBUSTER SANDWICH! Fans fire up again and Aussie Open picks up Shane. AUSSIE- NO, no dental plan! Shane sends Fletcher’s foot into Davis!

Fletcher avoids Shane’s boot to ROLLING ELBOW! But Mikey ROCKS Fletcher! Davis swings on Mikey but he dodges, to LARIAT! Fletcher SUPERKICKS Mikey! Shane BOOTS Fletcher! Davis GAMANGIRIS Shane! All four men are down and fans are thunderous again! Aussie Open regroups, brings Mikey up, AUSSIE DENTAL PLAN! And then they get Shane up, for the LAWN DART CUTTER! Cover, TWO! Shane hangs tough but Fletcher tags in Davis. Fans fire up as Aussie Open take opposite corners. But Mikey trips Fletcher again! Shane rolls through Davis’ lariat and reels him in, for a DYNAMIC BOMB!! Cover, TWO!!

Davis survives but Shane tags in Mikey! TMDK LARIAT PINBALL, then HIGH LOW! Mikey covers, TWO!! Fans rally up and TMDK drags Davis up. Mikey scoops, but Fletcher GAMANGIRIS Shane! Davis slips free to GERMAN SUPLEX Mikey! Fans fire up, Davis runs to KING KONG LARIAT Mikey down! Cover, TWO!! Mikey survives but Davis tags Fletcher back in. Fletcher runs corner to corner at Mikey, to GAMANGIRI! Then he puts Mikey up top, and Davis crucifix lifts, for the SWINGING CRUCIFIX BOMB! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up again as Mikey says you gotta do better than that!

Fletcher stands and goes to the corner, as does Davis. But Mikey flops back down! Is he playing possum to avoid the lariats? Davis gives him toying kicks, as does Fletcher. Shane returns but he gets DOUBLE BOOTS! Mikey SLAPS Davis, then SLAPS Fletcher! But he gets a SUPERKICK BOOT COMBO!! Fans fire up as the elbow pads come off! Aussie Open aims, but Mikey dodges! Shane goes up top to DOUBLE CROSSBODY! Aussie Open bails out, Shane FLIES to take them both out at the ramp! Fans fire up again, Shane puts Fletcher in, and Mikey hurries to tag him in! TMDK say this is the end!

TMDK drags Fletcher up, but Fletcher fights free. But Shane SLAPS, Mikey SLAPS, then TMDK DOUBLE SLAP!! Fletcher drops to his knees, Mikey slaps him around, and TMDK double pump handle?! They’re copying Aussie Open! COREALIS!!! Cover, Davis barrels in to break it!! All four men are down again and fans fire back up! The teams regroup, TMDK throw forearms but Aussie Open gives them back. They go back and forth, stand up, and keep throwing shots! TMDK gets the edge, but Aussie Open BOOT back! Aussie Open runs, into ELBOWS! TMDK runs, into ELBOWS! Aussie Open, then throws TMDK out!

Davis triangle jumps and LARIATS Mikey! Fletcher DROPKICKS Shane! TMDK hit the floor and fans fire up again! Aussie Open goes out to fetch them, bringing them up to the apron. But TMDK fight free of the piledrivers, and Mikey back drops Davis on the apron! Shane shoves Fletcher at Mikey for some forearm pinball! Then Mikey scoops Fletcher, Shane takes aim, APRON TANK BUSTER!!! TMDK shoves Fletcher in, drags him back up, and Shane goes up the corner! TANK BUSTER!!! Cover, DAVIS BREAKS IT!! Fans are thunderous again as the match continues! Mikey TOSSES Davis and regroups with Shane.

TMDK drags Fletcher up, hoist him up, but Davis returns! TMDK shoves Fletcher into him! Davis falls back out, TMDK hoist Fletcher up again, THUNDER- DOUBLE DDTS!! Davis slides in and he clotheslines Mikey out! Mikey tumbles to railing and the Empire rallies the fans! Fletcher & Davis go to corners, they run in, but Shane ROCKS Davis, ELBOWS Fletcher, repeat! But then Aussie Open get Shane’s arms! Double wrench, DOUBLE FOREARMS! Double pump handle, but Mikey SPEARS Davis! Shane rolls Fletcher up, TWO!?!? Fletcher escapes in time! But he staggers into Mikey’s grip!

Davis ENZIGURIS Mikey! Fletcher scoops Mikey for PENALTY KICK GRIMSTONE!! Shane runs in, but Fletcher blocks the kick and hands it to Davis, to then SUPERKICK Shane! Davis hoists Shane up, PENALTY KICK PILEDRIVER!! Fans fire up with Aussie Open, and the elbow pads return, just so they can be thrown off again! DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH!! They TOSS Mikey, aim at Shane, and DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH again!! Pump handles, COREALIS!! Cover, AUSSIE OPEN WINS!

Winners: Aussie Open, by pinfall (still IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions)

Aussie Aussie Aussie! OI OI OI! The double champions stay double champions! Will nothing stop Fletcher & Davis from creating their ultimate tag title collection?

But wait! BISHAMON is here! Hirooki Goto & Yoshi-Hashi lost the heavyweight titles to Aussie Open, and now they want them back! But wait, the House of Torture attacks Bishamon AND the Empire! Fans boo, the ref reprimands them but Evil & Yujiro go after Aussie Open! And then Sho and Dick join in! The House of Torture mugs Aussie Open, and even use the SPOILER CHOKER! Fans boo more, especially as Evil & Yujiro hold up the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team titles. But then the rest of the Empire runs in! Jeff Cobb, TJP & Francesco Akira run the House of Torture off!

Evil gets the mic to say that’s how it is, huh? The House is officially challenging for those heavyweight tag titles! Get ready to witness their power! The House leaves, especially as fans tell them to go home. But between the House and Chaos, will the Empire be able to hold onto their treasure?

KOPW Championship Takagi Style Triad Match: Shingo Takagi w/ Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Taichi w/ Just5Guys!

The Rampaging Dragon continues to rain over the KOPW Division, but the Holy Emperor is challenging him once more! In this match, inspired by Aaron Henare’s Ultimate Triad match, the winner must any three of pinfall, submission, count-out, and even knockout and referee stoppage! How far will Taichi go to finally take this title from Takagi? And how far will Takagi go to hold onto it?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is the King of Pro-Wrestling!

The bell rings and fans rally up as the two stare down. Fans duel as “TA-KA-GI!” and “TA-I-CHI!” approach. They RAM shoulders, then RAM again! Takagi runs, into a BOOT! Taichi runs, but Takagi runs him over! Taichi gets up to BOOT Takagi down! Takagi gets up but Taichi throws him out. LIJ is there as Takagi gets up and the standing count climbs. Takagi stands at 7 of 10, goes around the way, then slides into the ring before the ring count begins. Taichi nods and resets with Takagi. Fans rally up, the two stare down, and they tie up. They’re in a deadlock, but Taichi pushes Takagi away.

Taichi CHOPS! Takagi nods and CHOPS! Taichi CHOPS again! Takagi CHOPS again! The CHOPS keep going, then Taichi KICKS! Takagi throws a forearm! Taichi KICKS, Takagi forearms, repeat! Takagi walks off the pain, the back and forth continues, and Taichi gets the edge with KICK after KICK! Takagi DOUBLE CHOPS! Then he spins Taichi to a backslide, TWO!! Taichi avoids going down a point! Takagi argues the count, but Taichi pulls his hair! Taichi puts Takagi in the corner, but Takagi turns it around, only for Taichi to push him down and out of the ring. Taichi whips Takagi into railing!

Taichi gets space, goes back to Takagi, and then whips him again. But Takagi reverses and sends Taichi into railing! Takagi then POSTS Taichi, but Taichi POSTS Takagi! The ring count is climbing, we’re at 15 of 20 as Taichi CHOKES Takagi! Both men are throwing hands! The count is 19!! They slide in at 19.99!! They avoid both going down a point, and Takagi knees low. Takagi whips Taichi to the corner, runs in, but blocks the boot. Takagi powers through and clotheslines! Takagi then JABS, CHOPS, and repeat! Red Shoes reprimands and counts, but Takagi shows those weren’t closed fists at all.

Takagi brings Taichi up, whips him corner to corner, but Taichi reverses to wrench and HOOK KICK! Both men are down and fans rally up. Taichi sits up, fans rally, and Taichi brings Takagi up. Taichi snapmares and KICKS Takagi in the back! Takagi goes to ropes, Taichi stalks him and kicks him around. Taichi digs his boot into Takagi, but lets off as the ref counts. Taichi drags Takagi up, gives him Kawada Kicks, but Takagi eggs him on. So Taichi fires off more Kawada Kicks! Takagi roars and headbutts the turnbuckles! Fans fire up with Takagi and he storms up on Taichi. Takagi forearms, knees, and CLUBS Taichi!

Takagi whips, Taichi reverses and kitchen sink knees! Taichi drags Takagi up and into the COBRA TWIST! Takagi endures, even as Taichi thrashes him around! Takagi fights his way over, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Taichi lets go, but he kicks Takagi out of the ring. Taichi then brings Takagi up and reels him in. But Takagi resists the lift! Taichi fires off more Kawada Kicks, but Takagi blocks! Takagi RAMS Taichi into the apron! And then he reels Taichi in, traps the arms, but Taichi back drops free! Takagi hits the floor and fans fire up! Taichi stalks Takagi, drags him up, and brings him around to the ramp.

Taichi knees low, and again, then hits a DDT to the floor! A count begins as both men are down, Taichi stands at 9 and gets in the ring at 11. LIJ coaches Takagi and he stands at 17, to slide in at 18! But into the GEDO- NO, Takagi slips out to put Taichi in the GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! Taichi escapes, swings, but into a GROUND COBRA TWIST! Takagi scores the pin!

Takagi: 1; Taichi: 0

The first fall is secured, and now Takagi can focus on the other possibilities! Taichi gets a quick drink of water and the two reset. Takagi ELBOWS! JABS! YUKON LARIAT! Takagi tells the came he’s not done yet! Takagi goes back to Taichi as the fans rally up. Takagi drops an elbow, another elbow, and then a SENTON! Cover, but oh, he doesn’t need it, it won’t count now. Takagi remembers his own match rules and he kicks Taichi around. Taichi stands and Takagi throws hands. Taichi eggs him on, then boots, but into a Gory Especial! NOSHIGAMI! Takagi leaves Taichi be for the standing count!

Taichi stirs at 3 of 10, sits up at 5, and Takagi is after his leg! Takagi turns Taichi for a HALF CRAB! Then an STF! Taichi endures, crawls forward, and Taka coaches him, but Takagi shifts to a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Taichi kicks forward to get the ROPEBREAK! Takagi lets go, kicks Taichi to the apron, then goes out to join him. Takagi calls his shot and he brings Taichi up. Takagi fireman’s carries but Taichi blocks! Taichi throws down elbows, then clinches! Takagi fights the lift in return! Taichi BOOTS Takagi, but Takagi fireman’s carries! APRON DEATH VALLEY!! Both men fall to the floor and Red Shoes checks them.

Takagi and Taichi are somehow okay to continue, so Red Shoes has their teams back off for the ring count. Takagi stands at 7 and slides in at 8. Taichi is still down at 11 so J5G coach him up. Taichi drags himself up at 16, the apron skirt starts to give way, but Taichi gets in at 19! Takagi is right on him, pump handle and lift, but Taichi slips out! GEDO CLUTCH! Taichi scores the pin!!

Takagi: 1; Taichi: 1

We’re all tired up and both men check off the same item on their bingo card! Now they can both focus on submissions, count-outs and knockouts! Taichi goes to a corner, Takagi runs in both only gets buckles! And a GAMANGIRI! Takagi drops but Taichi is also down. Fans rally and duel, and Taichi eggs Takagi on. Taichi kicks, Takagi ducks, but the SOBAT and BUZZSAW hit! Takagi goes to ropes, and OFF COME TAICHI’S PANTS! Fans rally and Taichi takes aim, to KICK! Taichi eggs Takagi on but Takagi eggs Taichi on. Taichi KICKS again! And again! Takagi fires up and fans fire up with him!

Taichi kicks, Takagi blocks and he CLUBS the leg! They go forehead to forehead, Taichi pushes Takagi back, roundhouse collides with lariat! Taichi KICKS from his other leg! Taichi runs, but Takagi clotheslines at the ropes! And then SAIDOS! Taichi rises up! Takagi runs in, but Taichi gets around, DANGEROUS SAIDO! Takagi springs up but he staggers around, then falls over! Both men are down as fans rally up, and the standing count begins! Both men stir, they crawl to corners and stand at 7! Fans fire up, and both men egg the other on. They run in and DOUBLE LARIAT! But neither falls!

They try another DOUBLE LARIAT, but still neither falls! And then another DOUBLE LARIAT! Taichi roars, but runs into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON- AX BOMBER! But Takagi’s right up to PUMPING BOMBER! But Taichi’s right up to BOOT, then BLINDSIDE BOMBER, then GAMANGIRI!! Taichi roars again and he hurries to bring Takagi up! LAST RIDE!! Both men are down again and another standing count begins! Fans rally and Taichi sits up at 5. Takagi is still down at 7, but stands at 8! Into an AX BOMBER!! Taichi hurries to Alabama Lift, for BLACK MEPHISTO!! And the standing count returns!

Both men are down as the fans rally up and we reach 4 of 10. Taichi is up at 5 again but Takagi crawls to ropes. Takagi drags himself up at 8, but flops back over! He’s down at TEN, Taichi scores!

Takagi: 1; Taichi: 2

Taichi takes the lead with the “KO” on his bingo card! Will he finish this off? And how? LIJ coaches Takagi but the fans duel. Taichi clamps on the SEITEI JUJIRO! Takagi endures the Holy Emperor’s Tomb, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Taichi lets go and fans rally up again. Taichi drags Takagi but he’s deadweight. Fans rally harder but Taichi decides to let Red Shoes choose. It can’t be a standing count, but Takagi sits up so it won’t be a referee stoppage, either. Taichi takes aim, Takagi turns around, but Takagi blocks the superkick! But Taichi Alabama Lifts! Takagi slips out, backslides, roll through, pump handle! MADE IN JAPAN!!

Taichi sits up in a daze, but Takagi hits a SLIDING LARIAT! Taichi is still prey to the standing count, but Takagi says he’s not done with Taichi! Takagi drags Taichi up as fans rally, but Taichi lariats! Not a lot of power behind it, and Takagi lariats back! Well, Takagi doesn’t have a lot of power there, either. Taichi lariats, but Takagi stays up. Takagi lariats, but Taichi stays up. Both men catch their breath, Taichi LARIATS, but Takagi stays up! Takagi LARIATS, but Taichi stays up! Taichi winds up, but he drops to his knees, unable to follow through. Takagi stands him up to LARIAT, and LARIAT, and LARIAT! Taichi flops against ropes!

Taichi drags himself up quickly to avoid the count, and Takagi runs in. But into an Alabama Lift! But Takagi fights it, hooks the arms, TAKAGI DRIVER!! But that’s not all, Takagi drags Taichi up to run and PUMPING BOMBER!!! Fans fire up and Takagi leaves Taichi to the standing count! Taichi stirs but he’s still down at 5 of 10! He sits up at 7, but then flops back over! The count restarts, but then Takagi storms over to SLIDING FOREARM! And then a pump handle and lift, LAST OF THE DRAGON!! Takagi lets the count start this time, and Taichi sputters at 6! He rises at 7, stands at 8, but flops down! Takagi scores the KO!

Takagi: 2; Taichi: 2

We’re tied again, it all comes down to the next fall! Submission, count out, or stoppage, what wins it all? Takagi shouts “OI! OI! OI!” and fans rally behind him. Takagi stalks Taichi to a corner, hoists him up top, and then climbs up after him. Taichi resists the lift! Taichi CLUBS and CHOPS Takagi, reels him in, but Takagi fights the lift! Takagi fires off chops of his own! And HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT, too! Takagi moves Taichi around, but Taichi fights the fireman’s carry! Takagi still picks Taichi up! STAY DREAM!! Both men are down, but there will be no standing count! Red Shoes checks but Takagi’s still stirring.

Takagi crawls to Taichi and sits him up. Takagi rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Then a SLEEPER! Taichi is already red as Takagi squeezes tight! Takagi drags Taichi up into the REAR NAKED CHOKE!! Taichi is stuck in the body scissors but J5G shout at him to reach! Takagi turns Taichi away from ropes! Taichi endures, but he’s fading! But then he gets a second wind! Only for Takagi to make it a GROUND COBRA TWIST!! Taichi endures, Kanemaru has the towel! Taka tells him no, not yet! Taichi keeps fighting, even as Takagi thrashes him around! Kanemaru isn’t sure, but Taka keeps telling him to trust Taichi!

Taichi gets a third wind and gets the ROPEBREAK!! Takagi lets Taichi go and he flops out of the ring. Just5Guys are there to check on him, and the ring count begins. The count passes 5 of 20 but Taichi is still down. He’s still down at 10 of 20! He stirs at 13, but Takagi goes out at 15 to drag Taichi back up. Fans applaud as Takagi puts Taichi in, wanting something other than a count-out victory. Takagi reels Taichi in, but Taichi fights the pump handle! But Takagi still lifts, only for his legs to give out! They both flop over, and both teams coach them up. Takagi drags Taichi up to lariat, but there isn’t much to it.

Takagi runs to lariat, but again, there isn’t much to it. Takagi slaps his arm, runs, and PUMPING BOMBER! But Taichi stays up! Taichi rebounds and runs in, but into a SLEEPER! But Taichi slips around to hit a DANGEROUS SAIDO! Takagi rises, staggers, into the ROUNDHOUSE! And then YOKAZUNA FOREARM!! Both men fall out of the ring!! J5G check Taichi and LIJ check Takagi, and the ring count starts! They’re both down at 10 of 20, but the fans rally as hard as ever. The count reaches 15 of 20, then 17! Taichi slides in at 19, Takagi flounders, but gets in at 19.9999!!!! Even the teams have to double check!

Takagi and Taichi stir as the fans are thunderous! Taichi gets a quick drink of water, and then he drags himself up the ropes. Takagi forces himself up, Taichi stands him up, and forearms! Takagi staggers, but he comes back to forearm Taichi. Taichi staggers, and he boots Takagi. Takagi chops, but even that has little to it. Taichi CHOPS, Takagi ELBOWS! They start throwing backhands back and forth! Takagi gets a flurry in, but Taichi OVERHAND chops! And again! Takagi HEADBUTTS, HEADBUTTS and HEADBUTTS! Both men stagger, they’ve been at this for almost 40 minutes!

Taichi slaps himself, then KICKS Takagi! And KICKS! Taichi eggs Takagi on, and Takagi stands, but throws a weak forearm. Fans fire up for Taichi as he brings Takagi up. But Takagi JABS! And HEADBUTTS!! Taichi drops and Takagi staggers away to a corner! Fans rally and duel, and Takagi runs in to forearm! And forearm! And forearm! Taichi wobbles and stumbles around, into more forearms! Takagi LARIATS! Taichi FOREARMS! Takagi FOREARMS! Takagi runs in, into a ROUNDHOUSE! And then TENSHO JUJIHOU!!! Takagi is down and in a daze, Taichi covers out of habit!

Taichi remembers and he lets off. Taichi drags Takagi up, into the SEITEI JUJIRO!! Takagi endures, reaches out, but Taichi twists him around! Fans rally and duel, Red Shoes keeps checking with Takagi, but Takagi refuses to give up! Taichi twists again but Takagi powers his way out! Both men are down again, running on fumes! Taichi wags his finger, he’s not done yet. Taichi roars and J5G fire up with the fans! Taichi staggers over to Takagi, drags him up, and powers up to JUMPING HIGH KICK!! Takagi leans against ropes and Hiromu coaches him on! Takagi staggers over, but into another JUMPING HIGH KICK!

Taichi powers out, JUMP- PUMPING BOMBER!! Takagi swats the kick away with his clothesline! Takagi roars, runs, but into another JUMPING HIGH KICK!! Taichi isn’t done, he wraps on the SEITEI JUJIRO!!!! Takagi is fading! Taichi thrashes him around, Hiromu has the towel but Bushi has him hold on! But Takagi is barely moving! Hiromu shouts at him to get back up!! But Taichi just keeps thrashing him around!!! Fans duel as hard as they possibly can, but Red Shoes checks Takagi. Takagi is OUT!!! Taichi wins!!!

Winner: Taichi by 3-2, pinfall, KO and TKO (NEW KOPW Champion)

Clocking in at 43 minutes and 40 seconds, the battle finally ends, as does Takagi’s reign! Will the Rampaging Dragon be able to soar again after this?

As for Taichi, after finally catching his breath and standing back up, the belt is put around his waist. Fans chant “Let’s Go, Taichi!” as Taichi gets the mic. Taichi starts by saying, “Hold on a moment.” Taichi still has to catch a bit more, then he says, “Takagi. Thank you. Thank you for standing in front of me over and over and over again, and being my wall. Thank you very much.” Fans applaud the sportsmanship. Taichi says it is thanks to Takagi that they could put on such fiery matches for this title. For a moment, Taichi thought, “Let’s do it again.”

Taichi says that even if you lose again and again, so long as you bounce back, so long as you don’t give up, so long as you keep trying, you’ll definitely get the results you want one day. He was told by his team that was a challenge, but he overcame it, so he thanks them for their support. Taichi knows Sanada usually closes with his “present,” or Taka would say the catchphrases, but Taichi has something more to say first. Taichi is proud that he won this title here in Kagoshima. Because of everywhere in Japan, he loves Kagoshima the most. Fans cheer and Sanada laughs at Taichi copying his line.

Taichi then hands the mic over to Taka, and he says that with that, they will close with their team name. They are who? The fans reply, “JUST! FIVE! GUYS!” Okay, well, perhaps it hasn’t caught on quite yet. “SO WHAT?! We’re gonna change everything!” That means they’re changing the landscape here in NJPW! They are JUST! FIVE! GUYS!! Sanada has the world title, Taichi now has the KOPW title, will J5G keep adding gold to the collection?

My Thoughts:

A great event for NJPW, especially as a prelude to Wrestling Dontaku that also isn’t part of the Dontaku build. Now, yes, skipped things again, but it turns out the results were relevant. Really good Six Man Tag from LIJ, and we got the standard formula for the go-home math. Sanada gets the win off Bushi to keep Hiromu strong going into their match. But I don’t expect this to affect the go-home math much, aka I don’t expect Sanada to lose the world title. He only just got it, so he’s not losing it for a good amount of time. But Hiromu will surely have a strong showing so that he also goes into BOSJ 30 still looking good.

The IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship match was awesome stuff, but of course, Aussie Open always has great matches. They did a great tease of TMDK winning, but Aussie Open pulls it out. And now they have two teams coming for them, which is a good move. Bishamon wanting the titles again is logical, and House of Torture moving on from the NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag titles also makes sense, but I don’t see either team winning if NJPW and AEW agree that Aussie Open should get at like FTR and the AEW World Tag titles.

And then we got just an amazing main event with that unique stipulation. It was a bit silly for Takagi to forget that after getting a pin, he didn’t need another pin. And I like that they paralleled each other instead of having unique bingo cards, as these two have become rivals through this title. And in the end, a great win for Taichi and Just5Guys by extension. It is incredible that NJPW has been able to turn the KOPW title around from being a comedy belt (which was still a great time) into a title that comes up with innovative and hard-hitting stipulations. Can’t wait to see what Taichi comes up with now that he is the defending champion.

My Score: 8.8/10

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Match Results & Ratings: 9.19.2024

Victory Road was damn good, but behind us now. So let’s see how the build for Bound for Glory starts!

Published

11 hours ago

September 19, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Well hot damn, Victory Road was a solid night of action, surprises and an overall enjoyable watch. Even with the major let down segments of SDL and the Knockouts Tag, they were placed right in the middle…so there was energy aplenty for the last four matches. We do get to see where they’re going with Bound For Glory in about 6 weeks.

My fantasy booking has The System, ABC and Hardyz heading towards a championship 3 way dance. DeMALISH is done, so at least Masha is back on the singles circuit. Lets hope she makes short work of Lish and/or Tasha.

Time to see where the early steps take us on the way to Bound for Glory.

.@mashaslamovich LIVES A DREAM teaming with @MATTHARDYBRAND and @JEFFHARDYBRAND TONIGHT on iMPACT!

Subscribe to TNA to watch #TNAiMPACT NOW: https://t.co/UOkcaGoNH4 pic.twitter.com/N08dnmuwPv

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) September 20, 2024

Ratings:

First Cla$$ (KC Navarro & AJ Francis) vs Sinner & Saint ( Judas Icarus & Travis Williams): First Cla$$ win via Down Payment/Frog Splash combo – ** 1/4
Matt Cardona vs Rhino: Cardona DQ’d – My time wasted
Knockouts Tag Championship: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Kendal Grey & Carlee Bright: Spirefire retains via Pressure Drop – * 1/2
Texas Death Match: JDC vs Mike Santana: Santana wins – ** 3/4
Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards vs Masha Slamovich & The Hardyz: Hardyz win via Twist & Swanton combo – *** 1/4

Results:

Lish talks smack, Masha comes out, Lish says she doesn’t even understand her – AND FINALLY – Masha speaks English. So she runs down Lish, says she’s sick of her but Tasha jumps Masha from behind. Lish grabs Kendra, attacks Masha and we see Tasha and Lish beatdown Masha until Jordynne makes the save for Masha. The System comes out to tip the numbers game, but then The Hardyz come out to save Masha and Jordynne.

Santino’s goofy music hits and I guess we’re heading to the 3×3 since Lish is still injured. Masha Slamabitch and the Hard Boyz will fight Tasha and System boys. Arianna’s music hits before Santino can say something to Jordynne, and she declares Jordynne gets an NXT friend next week to fight Rosemary and Wendy Choo. I just like Santino and Arianna playing together. It’s wholesomely moronic.

First Cla$$ (KC Navarro & AJ Francis) vs Sinner & Saint ( Judas Icarus & Travis Williams)

KC and Travis start off, KC hits some athletic counters, taunts a little and extends the hand but Travis turns it into an Arm Whip, tags in Icarus, they Double Team, AJ blind tags as KC rope runs, Spiderman pose in the ropes, AJ levels Icarus, KC takes out Travis, hits the tandem move The Deposit, into Tennessee Whiskey. KC tags back in, Snapmare into Footstomp and a near fall before AJ tags back in. They go for a tandem move on Icarus in the corner, but Icarus dumps KC to the outside, turns a Suplex into a DDT, and then crawls to Travis for simultaneous tags as Travis is working KC over. KC powders, tries to change sides but Sinner and Saint tandem redirect the dive. Inverted Suplex for a near fall.

AJ comes in, Lawn Darts Icarus into Travis, Down Payment, Frog Splash from KC…and First Cla$$ win!

Matt Cardona vs Rhino

Obviously just a step towards the eventual PCO versus Cardona, prolly at Bound for Glory. So this match is useless and Cardona has no reason to lose.

Cardona tries to pick his spot, but just gets his Foot picked out of mid air, and Rhino throws Cardona around the ring, Lariat, sets up for a Gore…but Cardona powders. Rhino follows and Suplexes Cardona onto the ramp, throws him back in and a Throat Chop from Cardona finally gives him some space. Missile Dropkick for an unnecessary pinfall, and then just grinding the Forearm into Rhino’s face in the corner. 10 Count Punches turned into a Powerbomb from Rhino for 2.

Rhino goes to get a chair, the ref admonishes him, Rhino throws the chair in, Cardona uses it in front of the referee and gets DQ’d. Radio Silence on Rhino after the DQ, Cardona looks to continue the punishment but lights go out and PCO attacks. Chokeslam, goes for the PCO-Sault, but Cardona powders and runs away. PCO goes full Ric Flair, attacks the chair and then PCO-Saults a steel chair.

Well…that’s new.

Knockouts Tag Championship: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Kendal Grey & Carlee Bright

You know how I’ve said these titles are useless right? Now they’re being defended against…no one. Bright Grey? That’s not even a Crayola Crayon color. I think I would enjoy constipation more than this match.

Jody and…Grey?… start and its just slow, headlocky, I guess trying to get across Grey’s amateur background, but it looks terribly…meh. Dani tags in and now my attention is peaked. Powerbomb attempt but Grey tries to slip it into a Cradle, Dani kicks out, catches Grey and Sack of Shit into Kip Up. Tandem Stalling Suplex after the tag, but only 2. Dani gets tagged in, they don’t seem to be taking Grey super seriously, so Grey finally kicks off and gets the tag to Bright. Okay, Cartwheel Knees is unique offense, not the Cheerleader Back Handspirng, I can respect that. Oh nice Standing Moonsault from Bright. Grey tags in, Jody takes a few seconds too long for the “blind tag”, Senton off the ropes to kill the two NXT girls, Pressure Drop, title retained.

Burn these belts and push Dani as a singles.

Texas Death Match: JDC vs Mike Santana

Jade looks like she’s cosplaying Peg Bundy during the intros but…ya know…not complaining. And it sounds like they’re doing the rules correctly with pinfall and then 10 count. So, that’s nice the rules seem to be clear.

JDC tries to attack Santana as he comes in from the crowd, Santana turns it around as expected and starts running JDC from corner to corner, Enzuigiri and multiple Bootwash corner spots. Santana looks for a Cannonball, but JDC powders, so Santana stalks a little, Tope con Hilo connects! Santana finds some chairs as the morons start chanting for tables when it’s 4 minutes in. That chant just screams inbred and stupid anymore.

Santana puts the two chairs back to back and looks to hit the old Eddie Kingston spot on JDC, but JDC fights it off, 10 count punches that JDC counters with the Powerbomb through the back to back chairs. Trash can and kendo stick time for Dango. Dude, Stomp is soo 1999 but its apparently cool in Texas. DOWN AND DIRTY on the trash can from JDC! But he can’t cover since now he’s selling his own pain for dropping on a can. Santana smartly powders and JDC tries to remember how to walk. Santana crawls up to his feet bleeding, but he also found a Barbedwire Bat! Dango tries to grab him, BAT TO FACE! Of course they head to a commercial right as the match gets bloody…sigh.

So we’re back and they’re fighting in the crowd, or no, some staging area about the crowd. Dango is bleeding, Santana is bleeding, Santana counters Dango and hits a Piledriver on the stage for 2! Brawling up some steps, JDC kicks off Santana and connects with a Tornado DDT for 2! Santana rolls over and flops off the stage as he crawls to…somewhere. JDC with the low speed pursuit, he finally charges and gets tossed into some broken barricade makeshift something! Santana slams a production case into Dango a few times, as Dango tries to crawl up a table to get away. Santana walks back up to the stage, and stops himself mid-charge. FINDS A LADDER. Santana gets the ref and someone else to hold it, goes to the top of the ladder…and Splash through JDC on the table.

Takes entirely too long, so while it looks cool its pretty stupid. 1-2-3, the pinfall happens, but lets see if the 10 count holds. 10 count goes through, Santana wins.

Moose attacks afterwards and just beats the tar out of him with a chair.

Lei Ying Lee debuts NEXT WEEK on #TNAiMPACT!

Subscribe to TNA to watch iMPACT NOW: https://t.co/UOkcaGoNH4 pic.twitter.com/kHtnOSs0Gj

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) September 20, 2024

Hendry comes out, Kaz interrupts, Nic Nemeth basically agrees to fight everyone. So Santino makes it shot and succulent, and decides for Hendry and Kaz to have a number 1 contender match next week. Nothing of crazy merit was said during the promo, so I decided to take Santino’s directions and go for short and succulent.

Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards vs Masha Slamovich & The Hardyz

Well right after intros they cut to a commercial, so maybe we won’t get anymore. Tasha and Masha start off, and throw fists fast, things stay close and they trade. Masha gets the advantage after a Drop Toe Hold into the middle rope, kick to the face, running knees and Tasha tags out to Eddie. Masha doesn’t care she wants to fight Eddie but Eddie cheap shots Matt on the apron and Matt tells Masha to tag him in. So Eddie doesn’t look like a completely shitty heel, and the crowd pops for a Hardy.

Matt chokes Eddie along the ropes, Leg Drape attack and tags in my name is Jeff. A little classic Hardy tandem work, Myers just runs in, stack the dorks, Splash version of Poetry in Motion. System gets Lariated out, Tasha tries to attack Matt but Masha eats Tasha. Whips her 3 times into corners and Poetry in Moscow. All of the System is on the outside, so Masha goes to the top, Senton off the top rope and Bowling Balls The System. Ugh…picture in picture is awful…stop with commercials at bad times. I really miss the commercial free YouTube version.

So to no one’s surprise, of course The System take control during the distraction break, Masha is being isolated, Eddie tags in and he’s taking his sweet time for a chop. So again, Eddie doesn’t make contact. Masha drops Tasha, ducks the men, hot tag to Jeff! Jeff lights up Eddie, looks for Whisper in the Wind but Myers pulls Eddie out of the way and Jeff hits nothing. And unlike Jinder, Eddie didn’t bump to a breeze. Eddie tags out to Myers, Russian Leg Sweep and Front Face Lock is keeping Jeff down. Jeff fights back up, but Myers clocks him. Myers tags in Tasha, and Tasha goes with the Knife Edge Chops on Jeff, mocks the Jeff dance, then twerks in his face before tagging Eddie back in.

Myers attacks Matt off the apron and even Masha, but Jeff starts to fight back, goes for the Whisper again, and this time connects on both! Jeff tags in Matt, so he starts working through the System boys. Neckbreaker into the Delete Headsmashes for both members of the System. Side Effect on Myers for only two. Matt calls for the Twist, the crowd responds well, but the Twist is countered, Lish grabs Matt’s foot but the referee sees it. EJECTION! Poor Tami-Lynn, she doesn’t wanna go, Hardys and Masha laugh and sing the Hey Hey Hey song, Lish says no so the ABC walk down and pick her up and carry her out. Twist of Fates for everyone, Swanton Bomb from Jeff, Hardyz and Masha win!

Overall Score: 6/10

Serviceable in regards to setting up most of the threads for Bound for Glory. The actual wrestling could’ve been a lot better, but for a starting point, it could’ve been worse. Xia Li getting her new name revealed, which I like. Some kind of Thunder reference, mixed in with the fact her vignettes give Mortal Kombat vibes, its very cool. The Knockouts Tags definitely feel like useless metal, Santana and JDC was probably better to experience in person, because the commercial break broke the momentum…and Gods damn was that finish sooo slow. At least the Texas Death Match rules were correct.

Crowd was also hot for the Hardyz, so the combination of “evil Russian” dropping the accent and proving to be a Hardy fangirl and get the Hardyz babyface rub sets up Masha nicely. She should be the next face of the Knockouts Division.

Next week we’ll hopefully get a touch more clarity or reasons for multi-person shmoz matches. But reasons are reasons, and this moved in logical enough directions.

About Chairshot Radio Network

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (9/19/24)

Is Dark Order good enough?

Published

14 hours ago

September 19, 2024

Steven Mitchell

Team Texas meets Dark Order on the Proving Ground!

Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara need challengers for the ROH World Tag Team Championships, so Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds are put to the test! Will they last the necessary ten minutes?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

ROH Women’s World TV Championship Proving Grounds: Red Velvet VS Allysin Kay; Velvet wins and denies Allysin a title opportunity.
The Gates of Agony VS Dante Leon & Trip Jordy; The Gates of Agony win.
Preston Vance VS Brandon Cutler; Vance wins.
John Silver w/ The Dark Order VS KM; Silver wins.
Rachael Ellering VS Maggie Lee; Rachael wins.
The Infantry w/ Trish Adora VS Spanish Announce Project; The Infantry wins.
Anthony Ogogo w/ Shane Taylor VS Kit Sackett; Ogogo wins.
Brian Cage VS Deonn Rusman; Cage wins.
ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Ground: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara VS Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds w/ John Silver; Dustin & Sammy win and deny The Dark Order a title opportunity.

PLAY BY PLAY

ROH Women’s World TV Championship Proving Grounds: Red Velvet VS Allysin Kay!

The Chef is cooking, and she even whipped up a new look for the belt! Will Velvet have the whole women’s division seeing red? Or will AK say pinkies out as she eats up this dish?

The Code of Honor is upheld with a pinkie swear, and the two circle. They tie up and Allysin shoves Velvet down. Velvet gets up, dodges Allysin, and wags a finger. Allysin runs up again, Velvet slides under, then she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! The fans fire up and Velvet fires off body shots in the corner! Velvet lets off, but then comes back to stomp high and low. Velvet lets off to dig her boot in! The fans cheer as Velvet does the splits and stirs it up. Velvet lets off as the ref counts, then she comes back to fire forearms. Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, but Allysin says no to the bulldog, WHEELBARROW GERMAN! Cover, TWO!

Allysin drags Velvet up to TOSS her to a corner, then CHOPS her! The fans fire up, Allysin CHOPS again. Allysin bumps Velvet off buckles, Velvet hits back, but Allysin fires her own body shots. Then a fireman’s carry to a SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Allysin drags Velvet up, Velvet fires body shots of her own again! Velvet runs, but Allysin catches the crossbody! FALL AWAY SLAM! Cover, TWO! Velvet toughs it out but Allysin drags her back up. Velvet fires more body shots, Allysin shoves her away, but Velvet runs up. Allysin sidesteps and runs, Velvet CALF KICKS, but Allysin deflects it! Then she gets an ANKLE LOCK!

Velvet endures as Allysin twists the foot. The fans rally, Velvet reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Allysin lets go at 4, then storms back up. Allysin snapmares Velvet, and clamps on with a straitjacket stretch! Velvet endures, even as Allysin digs a knee into her back. The fans rally up, Velvet fights up, and Velvet arm-drags free! Velvet runs up, to tilt-o-whirl and IRON OCTOPUS! Allysin endures, the fans rally, and Allysin powers right into a gut wrench! But Velvet clicks her heels, slips free, and hits a STUNNER! Velvet runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Velvet survives and Allysin grows frustrated.

Allysin drags Velvet up and in, Canadian Rack into the Gory Especial, but Velvet sunset flips it! TWO, and both women stand! Velvet LARIATS, but Allysin stays up! Velvet runs again, and she LARIATS again, but Allysin wags her finger. Velvet tries again, ducks Allysin’s lariat and LEAPING LARIATS! Then she CALF KICKS! Allysin falls, Velvet roars and the fans fire up! Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, and STUNNERS! Allysin falls back, Velvet goes after her at the ropes. The fans rally, Velvet pumps up and runs, to DOUBLE KNEE! Velvet YANKS Allysin off ropes, rolls with her, and dragon sleepers! JUST DESSERTS! Cover, Velvet wins!

Winner: Red Velvet, by pinfall (denies Allysin Kay a title match)

A solid win from The Chef, and she tells Diamante that she has the blood of a fighter! Eat, sleep, breathe, wrestling! Will everyone be served up some hot, fresh L’s in Red Velvet’s kitchen?

The Dark Order speak.

Dustin Rhodes wants more championships, and it makes Evil Uno sick! Alex Reynolds says that greed will lead to Dustin’s downfall. The funny thing about this Proving Ground is that The Dark Order has nothing to prove. Dustin & Sammy have to show they can beat The Dark Order in 10 minutes. All Dark Order has to do is beat the clock, and then unlike Dustin & Sammy, the Dark Order will earn a title opportunity. Dark Order is ROH, and they vow to get both revenge, and those ROH World Tag Team Championships. Will Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds show the world #DarkOrderisGood enough?

The Outrunners speak.

Truth Magnum tells The Iron Savages, “You wanna attack The Outrunners from behind?” Turbo Floyd & Erica Leigh shake their heads. But they don’t call him The Truth for nothing! And the truth is, if you’ve got beef, here are two Grade A master chefs, and they’re running hot! Keep your “savage sauce,” because you’re looking two young men absolutely jacked to the gills on “best-tosterone!” Turbo says the Savages have a few things he can respect: their muscles; their tans; their glitz; but they ain’t got no glamour! That’s what The Outrunners have! And in ROH, if you want it, let him tell you: Any time, any place!

Because if you haven’t seen The Outrunners, you haven’t seen nothing yet! Erica barks, but will Truth & Turbo find they’re barking up the wrong tree?

The Premier Athletes speak.

Mark Sterling says, “Whoa, whoa, hold on. Do you recognize this man? Of course you do. Because over a million of you saw him do the most impressive wrestling move you’ve ever seen in your life. But did you just see the move and scroll past it? Or did you actually think about who was the man that did the move? I’ll tell you who that man is. This is Josh Woods, National Champion, 108 collegiate wins, four-time All American! And there’s more where that came from.” Woods says he can do that to anybody. Anytime, anywhere. Then when and where will we see the Technical Beast do that for some gold?

The Infantry w/ Trish Adora VS Spanish Announce Project!

While Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo have made amends with The Outrunners, they’re still aiming at the ROH World Tag Team Championships. But that just means they’re one of many, because the reinvigorated Angelico Y Serpentico want their shot! Who rises up the ranks with a win while the other falls in Sioux Falls?

The teams sort out and #BadNews&Tattoos starts against the South African Stud. They shake hands for the Code of Honor, and Bravo gets an “OORAH!” going. Bravo and Angelico circle, the fans rally, and the two tie up. Angelico wrenches, wristlocks, but Bravo reaches down, slips around, and he wristlocks back. Bravo says they’re really wrestling and the fans have a laugh. Bravo keeps on the wrist, but spins, opens the hold, then steps over for a modified cording hold! Then Angelico wrenches the other wrist, but Bravo rolls, handsprings, pops ‘n’ locks and he gets Angelico with that vibe! Then Bravo reels Angelico in for a headlock!

The fans cheer, but Angelico powers up and out. Angelico drops, then hip tosses, but Bravo spins through it to arm-drag! The fans cheer again, Bravo eggs Angelico on, ducks the haymaker, but Angelico ducks the backhand. Bravo ducks the roundhouse, jumps the sweep, and dropkicks cancel out! Angelico spins to his feet while Bravo kips up, and both men Bernie Lean and walk it out! The fans cheer, and the two tag to The Captain and #SNAKEMAN. The fans “OORAH!” with Bravo again, and Dean shakes hands with Serpentico. They tie up, Dean headlocks, but Serpentico powers out. Dean runs Serpentico over!

The fans rally as Bran says Dean is so strong. Things speed up, Dean hurdles but Serpentico ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! The fans fire up but Dean is on his feet. Dean runs up, but into BOOTS! Dean tries again but Serpentico RANAS! But then Dean arm-drags! And arm-drags again! And DROPKICK! The fans fire up and Dean brings Serpentico up. Dean wrenches Serpentico, tags Bravo, and The Infantry double whip. DOUBLE HIP TOSS! A rough landing for Serpentico, but Infantry DOUBLE FIST DROP! Angelico storms in, Dean blocks a kick, hands it to Bravo, then ENZIGIRIS Bravo slips around to hit a NECKBREAKER!

The fans fire up while Angelico bails out. Serpentico slowly rises, Bravo brings him up, but Serpentico headlocks. Bravo powers out but Angelico tags in. Serpentico ducks Bravo and Angelico scoops to BACKBREAKER! Angelico stands Bravo up, Serpentico runs in, NECKBREAKER DROP BACKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, TWO! Bravo stays in this but Angelico stays on him with a cording hold. Bravo endures, the fans rally up, and Bravo fights up, only for Angelico to knee low! Tag to Serpentico, SAP double whip, then they both drop. Bravo is very surprised by that but clears them both. Angelico hip tosses Bravo, then SAP ZENMAI! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally as Bravo stays in this. Serpentico drags Bravo up, tags Angelico back in, and SAP mugs Bravo. Angelico stomps Bravo while Adora rallies the fans with “Let’s Go, Bravo, Let’s Go!” Bravo CHOPS Angelico, Angelico KNEES low! Angelico JABS Bravo, wrenches and lifts, BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Angelico keeps Bravo down by bending his arm against a knee. Bravo endures, the fans rally, but Angelico top wristlocks. Bravo fights up, fires body shots, but Angelico ROCKS him! Angelico stalks Bravo to ropes, brings him up, and then wrenches. Angelico back suplexes, but Bravo lands out! Bravo reaches out, but Angelico keeps him back!

The fans rally, and Bravo BACKHANDS Angelico away! Hot tags to Dean and Serpentico! The fans fire up as Dean rallies on SAP with LARIAT after LARIAT! Then he floats on Angelico to DDT! Kip up, and he gets Serpentico, spin and “SONIC BOOM~” LARIAT! The fans fire up while Serpentico goes to a corner, and Dean says, “OORAH!” The fans echo “OORAH!” and Dean ELBOWS Serpentico! Bravo tags in then follows Dean as he takes Serpentico side to side. Buckle bump and a BOOT, then Dean goes back to a corner. Bravo bumps Serpentico off buckles again, and Dean runs in to LEAPING LARIAT!

The fans fire up while Dean lands safe on the apron, and Bravo scoops Serpentico to MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Serpentico survives and Bravo is stunned! Dean calls for Boot Camp and he tags in. Dean hooks Serpentico up, Bravo runs, but Angelico trips him! Angelico drags Bravo out to UPPERCUT, and Serpentico snapmares Dean. Serpentico mule kicks, ROCKS and SUPERKICKS! Angelico steps in to clinch and FLATLINER! Serpentico goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Dean survives and SAP is shocked! The fans rally up but SAP drags Dean up. SAP coordinate, Angelico runs, but Bravo trips Angelico up!

Bravo drags Angelico out now, and ROLLING ELBOW! Serpentico ROCKS Dean, runs, but Bravo returns! Infantry dodges Serpentico to fire off the Captain & Bucky combo! Then DOUBLE ROLLING ELBOWS! The fans fire up with The Infantry, and they hook Serpentico up again. Time for BOOT CAMP!! Cover, Infantry wins!

Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall

SAP put up a fight, but The Infantry are marching up towards the top of the rankings! Bravo says never fear, the Infantry is here! But will they be armed and ready for a title shot in the near future? And perhaps best of all, The Infantry offer the Code of Honor, and SAP takes it!

Shane Taylor Promotions speaks.

Anthony Ogogo says it is so good to be Anthony Ogogo! The skull-crackin’, jaw-jackin’ Gov’nah is back in ROH! Shane Taylor himself says it’s great to have him back. Ogogo says he was in Paris for the Olympics, watching the very best athletes win gold. But brother, it got Ogogo thinking. It’s time for him to win gold in ROH! Shane likes that, too. Shane says a wise man once said, “First you get the money, then you get the power.” Around here, winning gold is both! And STP is gonna start taking every championship ROH has to offer. AEW is where the best wrestler, but ROH is where the baddest rumble! Will Ogogo and Big Bad Shaney T. soon join Lee Moriarty as champions of ROH?

ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Ground: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara VS Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds w/ John Silver!

Dustin is a double champion here in ROH, and that’s all the reason The Dark Order needed to despise him! But will they be able to bring down The Natural & The Spanish God? Or will Team Texas be riding high in South Dakota?

The Code of Honor is tentatively upheld, but Reynolds does go and push Sammy. The teams sort out and Sammy starts against Reynolds. The fans rally as the two circle, but then Reynolds bails out. Sammy is annoyed, the fans boo, but Reynolds reminds us, the Dark Order doesn’t even need to beat the champs, just last the ten minutes. Silver and Reynolds high-five, the fans rally for Sammy, and he waits on Reynolds. Reynolds takes his time returning, and then Reynolds tags Uno. And Uno tells Sammy, “I want this guy!” He points at Dustin, Sammy points at Dustin, and the fans fire up as Sammy tags Dustin!

Dustin and Uno circle, they approach, but then Uno bails out to troll Dustin. Uno does a sarcastic victory lap, but Dustin cuts him off. Uno says whoa, hold on, only to turn around and see Sammy! The fans cheer but Uno runs away into the ring! Team Texas grabs at him, knocks him down, and then Uno gets up into an UPPERCUT! Sammy hooks Uno up, Dustin joins in, DOUBLE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Sammy kips up, Reynolds runs in, but into a DROPKICK! Sammy kips real smooth, and then he tells Dustin to dive! The fans fire up, Dustin fires up, and while Dark Order regroups, Team Texas builds speed!

But then Dark Order scurries away, Sammy & Dustin put on the brakes, and the fans boo. Sammy spins and poses, so Dustin busts out the spinarooni! Dustin poses, too, and the fans fire up! The Dark Order gets mad, but turnabout is fair play. The Dark Order decides to just bail, but Dustin chases them down! Dustin SMACKS Uno, ROCKS Reynolds, then gets Silver to back off. Dustin UPPERCUTS Uno, SMACKS him off the apron, then stalks him around the way. Dustin puts Uno in the ring, but Reynolds storms up. Dustin counter punches! Uno distracts the ref, allowing Silver to POST Dustin! The fans boo and Silver protests, but Reynolds throws hands on Dustin.

Reynolds puts Dustin in, Uno bumps him off buckles, and he stomps a mudhole. Tag to Reynolds, the Dark Order mugs Dustin, and Reynolds snapmares Dustin. Reynolds steps on Dustin, then uses the ropes to IMPLODER ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Reynolds keeps Dustin from Sammy, bumps him off buckles, and tags Uno. The fans rally, Uno CHOPS Dustin, then he soaks up the heat. Uno goes back to Dustin, but Dustin UPPERCUTS! Reynolds grabs Dustin but Dustin ROCKS him! Dustin fires more shots on Uno, but Reynolds barks at Dustin. So Dustin DECKS Reynolds! But he turns around into a kick from Uno!

Uno runs, but he runs into the SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up while both men are down! Uno crawls to his corner, but there’s no Reynolds! Dustin crawls, but Silver distracts the ref from the hot tag! The ref stops Sammy, not knowing what happened, and then Uno BOOTS Sammy! Uno SPLASHES Dustin, bumps him off buckles, and Reynolds goes up. Uno sets Dustin up for a FLYING DOUBLE STOMP! Reynolds then DIVES onto Sammy! Uno hits a PILEDRIVER on Dustin! Cover, TWO!! Dustin survives and Uno is shocked! Another cover, TWO! Uno grows frustrated but we’re five minutes in, time is still on their side.

Uno calls to Reynolds, brings Dustin over, and tags Reynolds in. The Dark Order mugs Dustin, but Dustin fights back with big hands! But then Dark Order pushes Dustin back! Dustin dodges Uno, dodges Reynolds, and the ref sees this hot tag! Sammy goes up to DOUBLE CROSSBODY The Dark Order down! The fans fire up, Sammy CLOBBERS Uno, then keeps moving to duck ‘n’ dodge Reynolds so he can CLOBBER him, too! The fans fire up as Sammy kips up, and Sammy RAMS in to Reynolds! Sammy goes to the apron to ENZIGIRI Reynolds, and he SUPERKICKS Uno! Reynolds then springboards in, but Reynolds gets under!

Reynolds runs up, into a CUTTER! Dustin runs in to add a SHINING WIZARD! Cover, Uno breaks it! Dustin storms up, Uno shouts “STOP~!” Then he ROCKS Dustin with a right hand! But Sammy JUMP KNEES Uno! Uno tumbles out, Sammy goes for Reynolds, but Silver drags him out! The fans boo as Dark Order regroups again. Sammy says that’s fine, and he builds speed, to FLY! Down goes The Dark Order! Sammy puts Reynolds in for Dustin to hop on, DESTROYER! Dustin brings Reynolds up, Sammy climbs, and we get a FINAL RECKONING, into the SWANTON BOMB! Cover, Team Texas wins!

Winners: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara, by pinfall (denies The Dark Order a title match)

Uno & Reynolds played not to win but to not lose, and that only backfired every step of the way! But wait! THE CAGE OF AGONY ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Brian Cage fireman’s carries Sammy, for an F5!! The Gates mug Dustin, The Dark Order cheers while the fans boo! Kaun & Liona hold up the tag titles, then they stand Dustin up, for the DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH!! Dustin falls over, is this just a foreshadowing of what is to come? Or can Dustin & Sammy survive the gauntlet of challengers?

My Thoughts:

A very good episode of ROH, with it coming in at an hour and 10 minutes. It still had a lot of matches that were easily filler, but I again commend them on giving everyone good showings. A little surprised, and maybe a little disappointed, that Harley Cameron did not appear to go after Rachael Ellering. They could get that story going if they really wanted but they sure drag things out. But I do like that a big development was Red Velvet changing the belt, the red strap looks so good with the dark silver ROH uses for their belts. We just need them to hurry up and give us Velvet VS Diamante, not sure what they’re waiting on.

Sterling’s promo with Josh Woods was itself basically filler, because we already went through the phase of “Let’s hype The Premier Athletes up.” Just get Woods going in the Pure Division so he can eventually face Lee Moriarty, and maybe even give us some STP beating up on Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari. Speaking of which, after Ogogo of course “knocked out” his opponent tonight, good promo from him and Shane. STP is a team I’d definitely like seeing pull of the “dripping with gold” trope. Moriarty has the Pure Championship, the whole crew can be Six Man Champs, and I suppose Ogogo can “knock out” Atlantis Jr. to get the TV title while Shane finally beats Mark Briscoe to get the world title.

And a lot of good stuff is cooking in the Six Man as well as traditional Tag Divisions. We got a very good match from Infantry and SAP, and a very good promo from Outrunners calling out The Iron Savages. And while we got a really good tag match out of Dark Order and Team Texas, I figured Team Texas would win out. Clearly, Cage of Agony wants next, but I would think Kaun & Liona have a better chance getting the World Tag titles than the whole faction does the Six Man titles. Cage of Agony, while they were Mogul Embassy, already had a dominant run with the Six Man belts, let another faction have their time.