Last few weeks have been bad for me while I’m on the mend. Advantageously, things should start heating up heading toward Emergence on the 27th and we might get a surprise or two for the Multiverse United show on the 20th.

So long and short, I’ve missed some shows, but these next few should be the good stuff. Let’s get to it!

.@mashaslamovich and @Kelly_WP will "take 'em all"! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/kHzBsEPOQ0

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) August 11, 2023

Ratings:

• Number 1 Tag Team Contender Tournament: The ABC (Chris Bey & Ace Austin) vs Rich Swann & Sami Callihan: Sami wins via Cactus Driver – *** 1/4
• Bhupinder Gujjar vs Dirty Dango w/Alpha Bravo: Dango wins via Scorpion Death Drop – **
• Alisha Edwards w/Eddie vs Jody Threat: Jody wins via Pop Shove It – *
• Kushida vs Speedball Mike Bailey: Kushida wins via Back to the Future – *** 1/2
• Brian Myers, Moose & Bully Ray vs Black Taurus, Laredo Kid & Samuray del Sol: Myers wins via Roster Cut – ** 1/2

Results:

Number 1 Tag Team Contender Tournament: The ABC (Chris Bey & Ace Austin) vs Rich Swann & Sami Callihan

You have to assume that the team of Former World Champions is gonna beat the former tag team champions. But it could go either way.

Mutual signs of respect early on, but Bey quickly gets the best of Rich, tags in Ace and we get some quick but not really brutal tandem attacks. Ace keeps Rich grounded with a Headscissors, but Rich fires out, Spinning Headscissors from Rich to tag in Sami; and now the former world champs are in control. Sami hits the Get Out of Here shoulder breaker, tags in Rich and now we see a little 4 man tornado action.

Everyone gets in a shot, but it gets punctuated with Sami hitting a Cactus Driver on the apron to Ace. Bey hits the Rewind Tiger Feint instead of being thrown back in, so ABC has some momentum while Ace recovers. Commercial break hits, Bey is still in control and he drops Rich to tag in a obviously reeling Ace. They hit a few tandem moves but Ace keeps selling the neck. He’s trying to just power through the pain, but he’s really selling discomfort well.

Ace tries to drive Rich into his corner, Rich fights off both men, Enzuigiri to the back of Ace’s head….simultaneous tags. Sami is on fire, Ace tries to break up a DDT, but Sami hits a combination DDT/Flatliner on the duo. Sami hits a Death Valley Driver, but only for 2. Guillotine Air Raid from Swann and Sami, but again, only 2. Swann misses the 450, Ace takes the blind tag and they hit the Triangle Kick/Torture Rack Bomb for 2!

Bey goes for the Brainbuster with a kick, Rich moves so Ace kicks Bey, tornado action again, ABC tries the 1-2-Sweet but Sami catches the first half in a Chicken Wing. Ace breaks up the submission, they string together a few kicks, they hit the 1-2-Sweet and; Swann breaks up the pin! Swann wipes out Bey, Ace slides back in after avoiding Rich, they trade moves, Jason Hotch pulls the referee out of the ring when Ace had a pin, Skyler slides in while the ref and Sami are distracted, so he hits The Stroke, Sami hits the Cactus Driver and the world champs win.

The angle is that Sami didn’t see the interference so its not too shady, yet.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs Dirty Dango w/Alpha Bravo

Hopefully Gujjar gets a better finish, that Gargoyle Spear set up is cringe and garbage. He’s got most of the tools to be a good wrestler, except his finish is moronic.

Dango’s “I hate pro wrestling” gimmick might get old, but it does have a solid enough shelf life, especially to try and prop up younger guys like Gujjar. Gujjar strings together some offense, but Dango rakes the face to get away from some of the assault. Dango slows the match down with some knees to the back and a “rest hold”.

Gujjar picks up the speed once they get back upright, Dango avoids one Triple H style Jumping Knee, but eats the second, Spine Buster for 2. Gujjar goes to the ropes for his dumbass Spear, but Bravo shines a flashlight in his face, Dango hits the Scorpion Death Drop and wins. THE GARGOYLE SPEAR IS STUPID, STOP IT.

Oh Jake Something comes out to confront Dango. Now this is a good rub for Jake. I’m here for Jake beating the hell out of Dango and being the hero to this little angle. Jake barks at Dango, Dango acts like he’s backing down but tries to sneak attack him while chewing out Bravo. Dango fails his sneak roll, and eats a forearm. 

Alisha Edwards w/Eddie vs Jody Threat

Now I’ve made it no secret, I hate Lish “wrestling”. She’s a great character and she’s got that Tammy Lynn from Ted kind of charisma which I like. But her wrestling is…clunky at best.

Early on she uses a lot of backing off and kicking the ropes to get an advantage. So the fact she’s not doing much wrestling helps the enjoyment level of this quite a bit. Jody no sells a Back Rake that looks bad anyway, and a Snapmare Backbreaker gets her a 2 count. Lish tries to Irish Whip, Jody holds the ropes, Lish eats a Big Boot; and now she’s getting rocked. Corner pummeling, Pump Kick drapes Lish, Double Knees into a German Suplex. Lish claws Jody’s face to break up the finisher, Eddie trips Jody with the Kendo stick and Kaz comes down to wipe out Eddie. Jody hits the F-416 (maybe there was a cease and desist since its too similar to F5) which is now being called Pop Shove It, for the win.

After the match Kaz grabs the Kendo Stick and looks to keep beating on Eddie, Lish leans through the ropes to talk shit to Kaz and Kaz winds up to hit Eddie and clocks Lish. Kaz looks distraught and keeps repeating “I didn’t mean it…” while Lish is now laying in the ring out cold.

This could set up a few things. Eddie and Kaz might patch things back up, we might get a double turn if Kaz actually meant it and Eddie is now protecting his wife, or it’ll just continue the old feud which is a little stale to be honest.

Kushida vs Speedball Mike Bailey

Very typical Japanese Junior Heavyweight opening. Lots of counters and short strike trades. Kushida takes control with the punctuation Senton to the outside. He slides Speedball back in, Liger style Surfboard Stretch, but too close to the ropes. Cartwheel Dropkick for Speedball’s trouble, and only a 2 count.

We then get the back and forth that goes into Fighting Spirit/Strong Style chop trades. The match is very color by numbers Japanese Junior match, not bad, just basic. Kushida starts focusing the legs with a twisting Indian Deathlock and repeated knees and kicks to to Bailey’s legs. Bailey manages to bait Kushida to the outside, Baseball Slide misses from Kushida as Bailey avoids it by hitting the top rope Asai Moonsault (nicely timed).

Speedball starts selling everything, legs, arms, but manages to fight through the pain to trip up Kushida a little. We go back to the Fighting Spirit spot but this time Kushida gets rocked, Bailey looks for the Backflip Knees but Kushida moves. Hoverboard attempt countered into an Arm Bar, Kushida keeps fighting through and Bailey has to reapply the Arm Bar. After a little more fighting, Backflip Knees connects, Buzzsaw Kick for 2! Arm Bar again, but too close to the ropes.

Elbow Breaker from Bailey, Side Kick sends Kushida into the corner, Tornado Kick…but Kushida catches. Looks for Back to the Future, but Bailey blocks twice. Tanaka Punch only 2. Kushida looks to shoot for the legs and Bailey kicks him square in the head, but Kushida grabs the ropes to break the pinfall. Tornado Kick connects, but Kushida pops up before Ultima Weapon, Gamengiri into the Avalanche Hoverboard Lock, Bailey mostly blocks, Back to the Future for the win!

Solid match, just took a bit too long to get special and Kushida winning was a bit obvious. Still worth a look if you enjoy this style of wrestling. 

.@joehendry and @Im_YuyaUemura, Tag Team…Champions?!#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/o5fLiF0OnC

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) August 11, 2023

I’m here for tag team champions Yuya and Hendry. 

Brian Myers, Moose & Bully Ray vs Black Taurus, Laredo Kid & Samuray del Sol

The heel squad versus 3…lucha…things. Oh but during the entrance Samuray doesn’t come out and we cut to the back to see Lio Rush over top of Sol on the steps laid out.

Taurus and Myers starts off the current handicap match and we see Taurus and Kid get generally the best of Myers, when Moose comes in his size becomes a small issue for Kid, but then some quick moves piss off Moose. Things simmer slowly to give the lucha team a nice foothold looking competitive even down a guy.

Bully comes in, calls Taurus back in and they go for the Strong Style spot. Bully gets the best of things early but a few continuous rope runs and Taurus has enough speed to drop Bully and keep him off balance. Taurus exposes his knee and goes for a big knee lift in the corner, Bully moves, commercial hits and the heels are now firmly in charge. Taurus manages a desperation head of steam, tags in Laredo and Laredo goes on a tear.

Frakensteiners for everyone, a lot of momentum for the Luchas, but eventually the numbers catch up to them. Laredo is dropped, Bully is trying to take off his mask, lights go out, lighting strikes, PCO chants, and PCO is back! Bully is frozen with fear, PCO takes out Myers and Moose, runs out Bully. Taurus Headbutts Myers, Frog Splash from Laredo Kid, for 2! Moose trips up Taurus on the outside, Roster Cut from Myers and the heels win!

Overbooked, but for a TV main event getting some stories rolling, its perfectly fine. The show ends with Bully pissing himself scared just mumbling “I lit him on fire”. 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Well I can say, even though I’ve missed a few weeks it didn’t really feel like I was too far out of the loop. Stories seem to be progressing fine, Santino and Hendry adding just enough humor to the segments to raise the entertainment without making it seem stupid, is a great combination. PCO returning was a great way  to send Bully running out of the building, literally. The Rascalz having to take out a team of former World Champions next week is big for them, fused with finding out exactly why The Good Hands were involved in that match; we could be in store for some twists and turns.

Lish getting knocked the hell out is either gonna respark the feud interestingly…or drag on something that should’ve died before it started. OH and I’ll say it again, Bhupinder Gujjar – GET A NEW GODDAMNED FINISH.

There we go, a few things to like, definitely a bunch of threads to tug at…really only bad thing is Gujjar’s moveset. But an overall entertaining show.