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Mitchell’s WWE SummerSlam Results & Report! (8/5/23)

BORN TO BE WILD!

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Get your motor running with the biggest party of the Summer!

This might be the biggest, most important SummerSlam ever! Roman Reigns defends both WWE Universal Championship AND Tribal Chief status against Jey Uso, under TRIBAL COMBAT!!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Logan Paul VS Ricochet; Logan wins.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Brock Lesnar; Cody wins.
  • 25 Man Battle Royal: LA Knight wins.
  • MMA Rules: Ronda Rousey VS Shayna Baszler; Shayna wins.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: GUNTHER VS Drew McIntyre; Gunther wins and retains the title.
  • WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins VS Finn Balor; Rollins wins and retains the title.
  • WWE Women’s Championship Triple Threat: Asuka VS Charlotte Flair VS Bianca Belair; Bianca wins and becomes the new WWE Women’s Champion.
  • WWE Women’s Championship Money in the Bank Cash-In: Bianca Belair VS Iyo Sky w/ Bayley; Iyo wins and becomes the new WWE Women’s Champion.
  • Undisputed WWE Universal Championship & Tribal Chiefdom, Tribal Combat: Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Jey Uso; Roman wins and retains both title and position as Tribal Chief.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the SummerSlam Kickoff Show!

Join Kayla Braxton, Wade Barrett, Jackie Redmond, Booker T and Pete Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all the action here in Motor City!

 

Titus O’Neil welcomes the crowd to SummerSlam!

Fans fire up as the Real Deal, and Byron Saxton, are on the stage to acknowledge the Community Champions of Detroit! These three nonprofit organizations help underprivileged youth here in Motor City, and their representatives are right here tonight! They help improve Detroit one day at a time, one child at a time! The SAY Detroit Play Center, the Detroit Public School system and the Downtown Boxing Gym are here! And so to help these organizations, the WWE will give them a financial contribution of… $20 THOUSAND!! Give it up to the champions of Motor City!

 

Kid Rock speaks.

“If you wanna know where you’re going, first you need to know where you’ve been. 88, The Garden. You have the big Apple bumping. These old school legends, ,an, they kicked SummerSlam into high gear. You talkin’ gritty? Let’s talk 95 in the Steel City. SummerSlam was accelerated to all new heights. 2013 had superstars tearing through Tinseltown. You see ’em? Tonight, we make history. In our city, Motor City. Ain’t no pistons and parties. In the 313, nothing comes free. About time to pop off and crank the horsepower! Detroit, LET’S ROCK!”

 

Logan Paul VS Ricochet!

The ImPAULsive Maverick is ready to go viral and prove he’s the new top star in WWE. However, he’s up against the One and Only. Will Ricochet be the one and only top gun in WWE? Or will this be Logan’s crowning achievement in his still fledgling career?

The bell rings and fans fire up as Ricochet eggs Logan on. They step to each other, Logan polishes Ricochet’s head, and Ricochet laughs that off. Then he SLAPS Logan! Fans fire up and Logan wings, but Ricochet dodges to handspring and RANA! And DROPKICK! Logan bails out but Ricochet builds speed! To then handspring and superhero land! Fans fire up as Ricochet asks, “What’s good, bro?” Logan paces around the outside, fans chant “LOGAN SUCKS!” but Logan steps back inside. Logan and Ricochet circle, tie up, and Ricochet headlocks. Logan powers out and hurdles, then drops down to hurdle again!

Ricochet and Logan keep going, then Ricochet stops! Logan sunset flips but Ricochet rolls through !Logan avoids the kick to roll Ricochet up, but Ricochet rolls through! Logan ELBOWS Ricochet away! Fans boo as Ricochet goes to a corner and Logan grins. Ricochet stands up, the two reset, and they approach. Logan avoids a kick but Ricochet keeps after him. They tie up, Logan facelocks and hits a judo hip toss! Logan chinlocks and he grinds Ricochet down while laughing. Fans boo but Ricochet fights up to throw body shots! Ricochet pushes Logan to ropes, powers out, but Logan stops himself to avoid a kick!

Ricochet runs in but Logan puts him on the apron. Ricochet ROCKS Logan, but Logan blocks the kick to CHOKE Ricochet on the ropes! The ref counts, Logan lets off, and Ricochet sputters. Logan goes to the apron, but Ricochet elbows him back! Logan CLUBS away on Ricochet, then turns Ricochet, DRAPING NECKBREAKER to the apron! Fans boo as Logan kisses his fiancée. Logan mocks Samantha, Ricochet’s fiancée, then puts Ricochet in the ring. Logan throws a BODY BLOW! And another! And another! Fans boo as Logan fires off! The ref counts, Ricochet shoves Logan away but Logan comes back with more shots!

Fans boo as the ref finally backs Logan off. Logan grins and rope-a-dopes around. Logan then storms up to throw more body shots! Fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Logan puts Ricochet up top, he says he’s gonna do the flippy, and then says NOT. He drags Ricochet out, mocks Braun Strowman and hits the POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Fans boo as Logan drags Ricochet back up to scoop and SLAM! Logan soaks up the heat from Detroit, and copies Hogan. Logan whips Ricochet, BOOTS him, and “Loganmania” runs to drop a SPLIT LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Logan strikes the Hogan pose, and fans boo more.

Logan drags Ricochet up, scoops, but Ricochet slips free and hits a SPINEBUSTER! Ricochet stomps away on Logan, and if Logan’s gonna reference a legend, here’s Ricochet’s! With the PEOPLE’S MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Logan survives, Ricochet drags him up and ROCKS him with a right! And a CHOP! And a KICK! Logan reverses the whip and SUPESR back drops Ricochet! Ricochet almost flips a full 360! Logan stomps Ricochet to the apron, drags him up, and has him on the ropes to then run and Triangle Jump LARIAT! Logan grins and he goes to the apron as fans boo. Logan drags Ricochet up, and he wants to reference MITB!

But Ricochet FLIPS THROUGH the Spanish Fly! They brawl with haymakers! And then Ricochet hits a STANDING SPANISH FLY to the floor! It wasn’t good for either but Ricochet gets into the ring. Ricochet fires up with Detroit, but Logan anchors his feet! Logan drags Ricochet right out to the floor! Logan gets in the ring, he takes aim, SLINGSHOT LARIAT to the floor! Logan high fives the fans with Prime bottles in their hands, and he even takes a sip. Logan puts Ricochet in the ring, goes up a corner, and he CROSSBODIES! Then STANDING MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Ricochet is still in this and Logan is stunned!

Logan rains down fists, then lets off to pace around. Logan storms up on Ricochet in a corner, but Ricochet blocks the punch to fire forearms! Logan shoves Ricochet, but Ricochet goes up and over and Logan POSTS himself! And not the way Logan likes posting things! Ricochet goes up the corner, he CLUBS Logan, then drags him up top! Fans fire up as both men are on the very top rope, for a HURRICANE NECKBREAKER!! Now that’s a shoutout! Both men are down and fans are thunderous! Logan manages to stand first but Ricochet KICKS first! And again! And CHOPS! Ricochet whips, Logan reverses but Ricochet handsprings to a back elbow!

Ricochet then kips right up! Fans fire up as Ricochet runs to rally with big forearms! Ricochet whips Logan to a corner, RAMS into him and goes to the apron! Fans fire up, Ricochet springboards to FLYING LARIAT! Fans fire up for the RUNNING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Logan is hanging tough, but Ricochet says he wanted Logan to do that. Ricochet KICKS Logan, then KICKS him again! Logan clutches arms and ribs and Ricochet KICKS him some more! Logan sputters, but he ducks the Buzzsaw to back suplex! Ricochet lands out, dodges again, but Logan ELBOWS and QUEBRADAS, to then TILT-O-WHIRL DDT!! Cover, TWO!!

Fans are fired up as these two keep pushing physics to their limit! Logan drags Ricochet up, puts one out, and he gets Ricochet up. But Ricochet slips out to V-TRIGGER! And RECOIL!! Ricochet kips up again, and fans fire up as Ricochet puts Logan in a drop zone! Ricochet climbs the corner, but his own ribs bother him. Ricochet still SHOOTING STARS onto knees!! Cover, TWO!!! Ricochet survives and no one can believe it! Logan still grins as he stands back up. Logan drags Ricochet around but Ricochet pushes him away. Logan stomps Ricochet in the corner, has the legs and he flips Ricochet to his feet, ALLEY-OOP BOMB!

Logan kips up now and fans boo. Logan grins as he soaks it all up. Logan goes out to the apron, springboards in, FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Logan is growing frustrated now, he’s running out of icons to reference. Ricochet slowly sits up, and Logan goes to the corner. Logan pumps up, runs in, but into a SUPERKICK! Ricochet fireman’s carries, to DETONATION KICK! And then another fireman’s carry, for a ROLLING DEATH VALLEY! And then a TOP ROPE LIONSAULT!! Cover, TWO!! Ricochet did his own shoutouts but it just wasn’t enough yet. Ricochet drags Logan to a drop zone, deadweight as he is, and then goes up!

Fans fire up but Logan anchors a foot. Ricochet stomps away on Logan! Ricochet then goes right up top, for the 630 SENTON but he FLOPS as Logan moves!! Logan then gets a friend of his to give him BRASS KNUCKLES!? Fans boo as Logan hides the weapon! ONE BRASS PUNCH!!!! Cover, Logan wins!!

Winner: Logan Paul, by pinfall

And Logan makes sure to let everyone hear Samantha say his name. It was underhanded, but Logan finally gets his win in the WWE. Will Ricochet want his revenge once he regains consciousness? Or is Logan moving on to bigger targets?

 

The Brawling Brutes meet up in the parking lot.

And The Celtic Warrior arrives in a WWE branded MONSTER TRUCK! Sheamus, Ridge Holland & Pete Dunne are ready to make SummerSlam into FIGHT NIGHT, will any of them win the Slim Jim Battle Royal?

 

Cody Rhodes VS Brock Lesnar!

The American Nightmare was betrayed by The Beast the Monday Night Raw after WrestleMania, and honestly, there is still no explanation as to why. And even after the battle at Backlash, the rematch at Night of Champions, and the multiple brawls along the way, Cody still wants to fight Brock Lesnar! One way or another, this feud ends here! Will Cody survive what could be the most brutal match of his entire life? Or will Motor City become Suplex City?

Lesnar turns around to stretch against the ropes, and Cody attacks! The bell rings as Cody fires off, but Lesnar gets around him for a GERMAN SUPLEX! And so it begins already! Cody drags himself up on the apron but Lesnar is after him. Cody HOTSHOTS, then gets in to Rhodes Uppercut! And then BEAUTIFUL DISASTER KICK! Another BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! And a- NO, Lesnar SWATS Cody on the third! And then he RAMS Cody into a corner! And again, and again! Fans boo but Lesnar runs in, only for Cody to POST him! Lesnar tumbles out, Cody builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit into the announce desk!

Fans fire up with Cody and he fires haymakers! But Lesnar picks Cody up to POST him! Lesnar sputters but he still smiles and stalks Cody. Lesnar CLUBS Cody on the back, then brings him around. Lesnar puts Cody in the ring, storms up on Cody and he kicks a leg out! Cody RAMS into Lesnar, but Lesnar just TOSSES Cody up and over his head! Lesnar grins as he looms over Cody. Lesnar then stands Cody up, for an OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY SUPLEX! Fans rally for Cody while Lesnar stalks him. Cody throws elbows but Lesnar CLUBS him down! Lesnar KICKS Cody in the side and Cody writhes!

Lesnar still stalks Cody, brings him back up, and Lesnar snap suplexes! That’s four different kinds of suplexes already! Cover, ONE!! Lesnar doesn’t worry, he toys with Cody even. Then he trips Cody, drags him around, and stands over him. Cody goes for the leg but Lesnar shoots around to GERMAN SUPLEX! Lesnar soaks up the cheers and jeers of Detroit as Suplex City builds. Lesnar looms over Cody, fans chant for “SUPLEX CITY!” Lesnar GERMAN SUPLEXES again! Cody flops out of the ring and Lesnar dares him to get up. The ring count starts and Lesnar waits. Cody drags himself up at 4 and staggers in at 5, but then Lesnar knees him against ropes!

Lesnar waistlocks for another GERMAN SUPLEX! Lesnar drags Cody up to TOSS him back out! The ring count begins again, and fans rally for Cody as he stirs. Cody rises at 5 of 10, gets in at 6, and Lesnar shakes his head. Cody goes back to the apron but Lesnar BLASTS him down! “Stay down! Save yourself!” The ring count begins again, but Cody doesn’t listen to Brock. Cody crawls at 5, stands at 6, hobbles at 7 and rolls back in. Lesnar looms over Cody and tells him this is only gonna get worse. Fans boo but Cody stands, and Lesnar snap suplexes him away! “You’re not very smart, are you?!”

Lesnar drags Cody to the apron and then kicks him out! “Save yourself!” The ring count is back again, Cody staggers up at 5 but leans against the desk. Cody hobbles over and slides in at 8! Lesnar is annoyed and he hauls Cody up, to clothesline him up and out! “SAVE YOURSELF!” Cody stirs, flounders his way over, and then Lesnar goes to the far side. Lesnar is on the apron now, but Cody is up at 7! Cody gets in at 8, and Lesnar returns. Lesnar drags Cody out and fireman’s carries! F5 TO THE FLOOR! Lesnar shouts for everyone else to tell Cody! Even Michael Cole agrees, Cody should just let it end.

The count is back, and Cody is still down at 5. But he tries to sit up! Cody is on his knees at 7, on his feet at 8, and he gets in at 9! Fans are going nuts but Lesnar is frustrated! Cody rises with the help of the ropes, and he eggs Lesnar on! Cody fires off haymakers! Fans fire up and then Lesnar GERMAN SUPLEXES Cody to the ropes! Cody flops out, Lesnar goes out after him! Fireman’s carry, F5 to the announce desk!! The desk collapses to pieces, and fans lose their minds! Lesnar leaves Cody behind, the ring count starts, and even Michael Cole is saying it’s better to wait for medical! Lesnar’s already dominating you, he’ll destroy you if you keep going, Cody!

Cody doesn’t care! He’s up at 7! He hobbles over at 8, and gets in at 9.9!! Lesnar is losing his mind and the fans are thunderous! “You dumb SOB.” But Detroit is rallying behind Cody’s Never Say Die spirit! Lesnar storms up on Cody as Cody sits up and glares defiantly. Lesnar CLUBS Cody, but Cody CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Lesnar ROCKS Cody, clinches, and OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY SUPLEXES! Cody is dazed but he manages to rise in a corner. Lesnar storms up, to waistlock! But Cody holds the buckle! The buckle comes off, flashback to Backlash! Lesnar storms up as Cody bails out again.

Cody gets the steel steps! Lesnar BOOTS those away! And then he hauls Cody up, fireman’s carries, but Cody slips off! Cody POSTS Lesnar! And POSTS him again! And then has the steps!! He RAMS Lesnar!!! Cody runs into the ring, runs and BEAUTIFUL DISASTER!! And then CODY CUTTER!! Fans are thunderous as Cody goes again, SUPER CODY CUTTER!!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Lesnar survives all of that!? Cody is stunned, he wants Lesnar to stand, and Lesnar does! Cody dragon sleepers but Lesnar gets the arm! KIMURA!!! Cody endures this hold as he has in the past, can he win or pass out?

Fans rally as hard as they can for Cody as he kicks around. Cody reaches out, pushes around, even as Lesnar pulls on the arm! Cody grabs the ROPEBREAK! Fans are thunderous and Lesnar lets off, and Lesnar himself is red in the face from pushing Cody that hard. Cody and Lesnar rise, and Lesnar stands. Cody follows, but Lesnar fireman’s carries! But Cody slips off and RAMS Lesnar into the exposed buckle! Just like Backlash! And then Cody steals the KIMURA?!?! Lesnar is down in the body scissors!! Lesnar endures, moves around, reaches out, but Cody pushes the arm! Lesnar powers up to SLAM Cody down!

Lesnar is free but clutching his arm. Cody and Lesnar slowly rise, and Cody brings Lesnar around, only for Lesnar to fireman’s carry! Cody slips free again, CROSS RHODES!! Cody holds on, drags Lesnar back up, CROSS RHODES!! And then A THIRD CROSS RHODES!!! Cover, CODY WINS!!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

With determination and perseverance, The American Nightmare found a way to win! But wait! Lesnar gets up! And he throws off his gloves! Lesnar steps forward, stares Cody forehead to forehead, and offers Cody a handshake! Cody accepts it, as Cody has also won Lesnar’s respect! But now, will Cody be able to use all this to finally #FinishTheStory?

 

25 Man Battle Royal!

As sponsored by Slim Jim, there’s a lot of beef and a lot of jerks in this match, but only one can win! AJ Styles, Sheamus, Dunne, Ridge, Ludwig Kaiser, Giovanni Vinci, Cameron Grimes, Bronson Reed, Santos Escobar, Tommaso Ciampa, Shinsuke Nakamura, Chad Gabe, Otis, Apollo Crews, Grayson Waller, Erik, Ivar, Matt Riddle, Karrion Kross, Rick Boogs, JD McDonagh, The Miz and… LA KNIGHT, YEAH! Fans have their favorite to win, but will this be the Mega Star’s game here tonight?

The bell rings and then MVP shows up? He says this can’t begin until the man who will win it gets in it! He gives us the Nigerian Giant, OMOS! Omos makes a massive return, will it be a massive win for this mountain of a man? The others brawl while Omos makes his way down to the ring. Knight is after Escobar, Riddle joins in, the Brutes go after Imperium and Apollo, Miz fights off JD, Styles goes after Vinci. Omos gets up and in, and he TOSSES Crews to ELIMINATE him! JD CHOPS Omos, but Omos picks JD right up! Omos TOSSES JD out onto Crews to ELIMINATE him, too! But BOOGS fires hands!

Boogs has Detroit on his side but Omos CLUBS him! And then TOSSES him to ELIMINATE him! Omos already takes out three, but the Brutes and a few others go after Omos together! They even go out from underneath to drag him back, for TRIPLE BEATS OF TEH BODHRAIN! That’s how big Omos is! But Omos fights out, TOSSES Dunne, then shoves the Alpha Academy away! Omos ROCKS Ridge, and CLOBBERS Sheamus! Escobar keeps after Theory ahead of their US Championship match this Friday, Knight stomps away on Waller, and fans fire up as Otis fires up! But Imperium picks Otis up to DUMP him out and ELIMINATE him!

Fans boo but Gable DECKS Vinci and EXPLODERS Ludwig! But Vinci picks Gable up! Gable slips free to SUPLEX Vinci up and out to ELIMINATE him! “A THANK YOU!” But Erik rushes up, into an EXPLODER! Ludwig GAMANGIRIS Gable and says “Shush.” Nakamura and Styles meet up as old rivals, and Nakamura puts on a SLEEPER! Riddle is after Miz, Ivar springboards but Ciampa DUMPS him out to ELIMINATE him! Erik runs in, is also put on the apron, and Ciampa KNEES him down to ELIMINATE him! Nakamura ROUNDHOUSES Ciampa down! Ciampa puts Nakamura on the apron!

Nakamura hits back, steps in, but into WILLOW’S BELL! Ciampa BOOTS Nakamura to ELIMINATE him! Bronson runs in, Ciampa BOOTS him, but then Bronson scoops, RAMS and TOSSES Ciampa to ELIMINATE him! Fans boo as Kross mocks Knight and stomps away. Ridge fireman’s carries Theory but Theory slips off to throw Ridge out! Ridge stands but Theory DECKS him to ELIMINATE him! Grimes KICKS away on Theory for their match just last night! But Theory fireman’s carries to A-TOWN HOTSHOT Grimes and ELIMINATE him! Theory grins, but Escobar is there. Fans fire up as Escobar clotheslines and ELIMINATES Theory!!

Fans fire up as Theory is furious! But then Kross dumps Escobar out! Escobar lands safe to GAMANGIRI, but then Kross BOOTS Escobar to ELIMINATE him! The field has thinned considerably now! Ludwig blocks Gable’s boot, says ‘NEIN!” and then GAMANGIRIS! Ludwig dumps Gable out but Gable holds on! Gable skins the cat to HEADSCISSOR and ELIMINATE Ludwig! “A THANK YOU~!” Riddle and Dunne, old friends from NXT, fire off together on Omos! They ROCK Omos with knees and forearms, then go after both arms! But Omos just picks them both up and TOSSES them to DOUBLE ELIMINATE them!

Fans boo but Omos runs over Miz! And SPLASHES Styles! And CHOKE SLAMS Gable! And CLOBBERS Kross! Waller staggers up, into a scoop and SLAM! Knight fires off hands and fans fire up! Knight LARIATS but Omos stays up! Knight LARIATS again, but then Omos BOOTS him down! But Waller kicks, Miz kicks, Gable throat chops, Reed RAMS and Kross forearms! Sheamus BROGUES!! Omos is wobbly, a PHENOMENAL FOREARM sends him to ropes! EVERYONE picks Omos up to DUMP him out and ELIMINATE him!! So much for MVP’s promise! But now, the other eight go back to fighting each other!

Waller escapes an Ankle Lock, Miz has a full nelson, somersault, SKULL CRUSHING FINALE CUTTER COMBO!! Waller and Miz, two peas in a pod, TOSS Gable out! But Gable holds onto ropes! Knight DECKS Waller! Miz TOSSES Knight but he holds on! Knight and Gable get in, Knight TOSSES Miz to ELIMINATE him! Fans are thunderous and Miz is furious! Waller returns, Sheamus KNEES and LARIATS Waller up and out to ELIMINATE him! Sheamus and Knight nod, they just brawled it out last night. But Reed CLOBBERS them both! Styles TOSSES Kross, Kross holds on but the PELE knocks him down, Styles ELIMINATES Kross!

Reed TOSSES Knight, but Gable waistlocks Reed!? Reed swings an elbow, Gable gest around, but Reed bucks the O’Conner to TOSS Gable! Reed ELIMINATES Gable, but Knight goes after Reed! Reed dumps Knight to the apron! But Knight ROCKS Reed and looks to drag him out! Reed tumbles to the floor, Knight ELIMINATES him! And now we have the final three! Sheamus and Styles brawl while Knight catches his breath., Sheamus dodges a lariat to hit an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! POWERSLAM for Knight! Sheamus takes aim, runs in at Styles, but Styles avoids the Brogue to LARIAT!

Styles runs in at Knight but is put on the apron! Styles ROCKS Knight, but Kross returns! Kross anchors Styles, Sheamus BROGUES Styles down to ELIMINATE him! Kross says this isn’t over until HE says! Knight scoops Sheamus, POWERSLAM!! Fans fire up for Knight, and they spell it out! “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Fans fire up and Knight waits on Sheamus to stand. Knight runs up, kicks low, but no BFT! KNEE! Sheamus reels Knight in, Canadian racks, but Knight slips free! Knight shoves Sheamus up and out! Sheamus holds on, then HOTSHOTS Knight! Sheamus hurries up top!

Knight springs up after Sheamus! Knight brings Sheamus up, to SUPER OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY!! Fans are thunderous as both men rise, and Knight clotheslines Sheamus up and out!! KNIGHT WINS!!

Winner: LA Knight, by pinfall

And with everybody saying, “YEAH!” The Mega Star wins big in Motor City, will he be aiming for something worthy of his star power?

 

MMA Rules: Ronda Rousey VS Shayna Baszler!

Rowdy Ronda and the Queen of Spades spoke on their friendship last Monday Night Raw, and tears were even shed. But now they look to shed blood and sweat on top of the tears! Arrogant prodigy? Bitter hard-worker? Those labels no longer matter when the winner leaves Detroit as truly THE Baddest Woman on the Planet!

The ref makes sure both understand this is MMA rules. No pinfalls, no ropebreaks, no count-outs. Have a clean fight. Ronda offers to touch gloves but Shayna says no thanks. The bell rings and the two already feel things out with strikes. They clinch against ropes, go around, and Shayna wants a leg. Ronda goes for an arm, throws some body shots, then clinches again. Shayna turns things around, and the two reset. Ronda hits a judo hip toss, then goes for the mount! Shayna and Ronda throw shots where they can, and then stand. Ronda goes for a takeover but Shayna avoids the leg sweep!

Shayna has the clinch, but Ronda gest up and around to drag Shayna down! Ronda throws more shots, they roll around, and Ronda hammers away! Ronda wants ana rm! Shayna clasps hands, moves around, and she gets the KIRAFUDA! Ronda powers out, and the two reset again. Fans rally up as the two circle. They test the waters again, Shayna going for kicks. Ronda shakes those off, but Shayna gets another kick in. Ronda pushes through, talks a little trash, and then Shayna ROUNDHOUSES her!! Ronda bails out of the ring but hurries back up. Ronda rolls in and the ref checks her. Ronda says she’s good, and then Shayna TACKLES her!

Shayna fires hands, has a leg, HEEL HOOK! Ronda throws elbows into Shayna’s legs, then goes for a HEEL HOOK of her own! They throw hands while still pulling on the legs! Shayna gets the edge, has Ronda on ropes, but Ronda shove her away. Ronda runs up, STEP-UP KNEE! Ronda wants the ref to check, and Shayna is rather dazed. Ronda wants this called already, but Shayna is back up. Ronda throws body shots and CLUBS Shayna back down! Fans boo as Ronda talks more trash. Shayna stands back up and then shoots in. Ronda blocks with a headscissors and just hammers away on Shayna!

Fans boo as Ronda is toying with Shayna! Shayna reaches out but Ronda has the DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! But Shayna fights up and has a fireman’s carry! No ropebreaks, but Shayna decides to go up and out! They tumble to the floor, and Shayna is free of the armlock! The ref wants them both inside and Ronda gets in first. Shayna shakes out the bad arm, rolls back in the ring, and the ref has Ronda stay back while she checks Shayna. Ronda wants more but Shayna’s arm may be injured now! Ronda talks trash while medics check Shayna. Fans boo, they don’t want it to end like this. Ronda doesn’t, either, and she TOSSES the medics aside! That’s a fine!

Ronda says Shayna wanted this so she has to finish this! Shayna agrees, stands back up, and she glares at Ronda. The mouthpiece comes out! Shayna runs in, they fire hands back and forth! Fans fire up, Shayna gets around and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Then KIRAFUDA KLUTCH!! Ronda is flailing, reaching out, but there are no ropebreaks! Shayna drags Ronda away but Ronda throws her down! Shayna resists the armbar, even as Ronda shifts her leverage! Ronda pries the hands apart, ARMBAR!! But Shayna slips around to an ANKLE LOCK!! Fans fire up as Ronda crawls! Ronda still wants ropes but again there are no breaks!

Shayna drags Ronda back but Ronda drags her down, SLEEPER!! Ronda has Shayna caught in a form of her preferred move! Shayna fights up, arm-drags free, and Ronda returns, but Shayna ducks the knee! KIRAFUDA!! Ronda is caught!! Ronda pries at the arms, goes after the bad one as hard as she can, but Shayna uses her TEETH to bite her glove and keep her sleeper! RONDA PASSES OUT, SHAYNA WINS!!

Winner: Shayna Baszler, by submission

The Queen of Spades trumps Ronda! All of Shayna’s hard work to get here in the WWE pays off, she finally gets the better of the Baddest Woman on the Planet! Does that make Shayna the baddest now?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship: GUNTHER w/ Imperium VS Drew McIntyre!

Der Ring General has dominated with this title for almost a year now, and even defeated The Scottish Warrior and Celtic Warrior in one match! However, that was a Triple Threat, and Sheamus did as much damage to McIntyre as Gunther did. Will things be very, very different now that Gunther has to fight McIntyre all alone? Or will the mat still be sacred?

Ludwig Kaiser of course gives Gunther his introduction as he demands ALL our gratitude for the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion… Derrrrrrr RIIIING GENERAAAL~… GUUUUUNTHAAAAA! The proper introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Gunther continues to chase the Honky Tonk Man!

The bell rings and the two stare down. Fans rally up, Gunther and McIntyre circle, and they tie up. They’re in a deadlock, McIntyre powers Gunther back, but Gunther headlocks. McIntyre powers up and out, they RAM shoulders, and McIntyre rebounds to run Gunther over! Fans fire up while Gunther is rather flustered. Gunther gets to his feet, circles with McIntyre again, and they feel things out. Gunther kicks low, UPPERCUTS, and then headlocks for a takeover. Gunther grinds McIntyre down, but McIntyre headscissors. Gunther shakes that off, and McIntyre fights up to his feet.

McIntyre powers up to lift and hit a BIG back suplex! Gunther bails out and sputters but McIntyre pursues! McIntyre SMACKS Gunther off the barriers, RAMS him into the apron, and then puts him in the ring. Gunther kicks low, UPPERCUTS again, and then UPPERCUTS again! McIntyre hits a GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTT! Gunther bails out, McIntyre pursues, and he CLUBS Gunther on the back! McIntyre headlocks, but Gunther RAMS McIntyre into the post! Gunther pursues, to back suplex McIntyre on the steel steps! McIntyre writhes, Gunther leaves him behind. The ring count is 7, then 8! McIntyre sits up off the steps, and he slides in at 9.5!

Gunther stomps McIntyre again and again then KICKS him! Gunther talks trash but fans boo. McIntyre goes to ropes, Gunther stalks him and brings him up. But McIntyre fires off hands! Gunther CHOPS McIntyre down! McIntyre sputters, Gunther drags McIntyre up and then CHOPS him down again! Fans rally up for McIntyre but Gunther BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES! Cover, ONE!?! Gunther is seething but so is McIntyre. Gunther stands McIntyre up to short arm LARIAT! McIntyre is down again but Gunther drags him back up. Short arm LARIAT! And another! But now McIntyre is just getting mad!

Fans fire up and McIntyre fires LARIATS back! Gunther LARIATS, McIntyre LARIATS, repeat! They go back and forth, Detroit on McIntyre’s side! Gunther staggers but rebounds to LARIAT McIntyre down! McIntyre gets up, runs in, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! But he’s right back up to LARIAT!! Fans fire up with McIntyre as he goes to ropes. McIntyre storms up on Gunther but Gunther CHOPS! McIntyre CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Gunther kicks a leg and then storms up to clinch, but McIntyre uses that to OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY Gunther! And then another OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY!

McIntyre hauls Gunther up but Gunther wrenches to CHOP! Gunther swings, McIntyre dodges, NECKBREAKER! Both men are down and fans fire up again! And then McIntyre kips up! McIntyre aims from a corner, but no countdown! Gunther still dodges the Claymore to SHOTGUN McIntyre! Gunther reels McIntyre in, but McIntyre slips outta the bomb, to POWERBOMB Gunther!! And then FUTURE SHOCK!! Cover, TWO!! Gunther survives and McIntyre is a bit beside himself. Fans rally up and McIntyre looms over Gunther. McIntyre then goes back to the corner, the countdown begins, but Gunther bails out!

So McIntyre builds speed and FLIES!! Direct hit at the ramp!! McIntyre puts Gunther in the ring, takes aim again, and the fans count along! “THREE! TWO! ONE!” SHOTGUN from Gunther!! Gunther hurries to get McIntyre up, GENERAL BOMB!! High stack, TWO!!! McIntyre survives and Gunther is furious! Gunther drops a knee, then he goes to a corner. Gunther climbs, GENERAL SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Gunther cannot believe this! McIntyre survives two of Gunther’s best shots! Gunther sits McIntyre up to SLAP him around from all sides, all while egging McIntyre on! Fans boo as Gunther pie faces McIntyre down.

McIntyre stands, and he blocks the chop!? Gunther apologizes but McIntyre CHOPS! Gunther CHOPS, McIntyre CHOPS! Gunther CHOPS again! McIntyre CHOPS again! They continue to trade CHOP for CHOP and fans “WOO~!” with each one! McIntyre gets the edge but Gunther fires back! McIntyre dodges one to CLAYMORE!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Gunther survives and all of Detroit is shocked! McIntyre himself cannot believe Gunther survives his best shot! “This is Awesome!” as McIntyre rises up. McIntyre rises and snarls as he storms back up on Gunther. McIntyre fireman’s carries, puts Gunther up top, and he CHOPS!

McIntyre CHOPS again, then he climbs up after Gunther. Fans rally, McIntyre brings Gunther up, but Gunther resists! McIntyre CLUBS away on Gunther, but Gunther CHOPS! McIntyre SLAPS, Gunther CHOPS, they fight up top like that! McIntyre CLUBS Gunther again, then goes up, but Gunther shoves him! McIntyre gets crotched on the ropes! GUNTHER SPLASH!! GUNTHER LARIAT!! GUNTHER BOMB!!!! High stack, Gunther wins!!

Winner: Gunther, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

The Celtic Warrior falls on his sword and Gunther adds on the pain! His body shows the marks of this battle, will this be the pivotal moment that allows Gunther to take over the history books?

 

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins VS Finn Balor!

Seven years ago, at this very event, these two battled to be inaugural Universal Champion. And only just a month ago, they battled at Money in the Bank. Nothing has changed between Visionary and Prince in that time, but it might all finally end here tonight! Will Rollins continue to #BurnItDown? Or will he be the one picking up the pieces after Finn finally has his revenge?

To add more to the venom in Finn’s mind, Rollins is wearing the vest he wore in that match at SummerSlam 2016! Fans of course sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHHH~!” for Rollins and he revels in it. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if history repeats itself!

Finn attacks before the bell! And then Rollins attacks back! The ref has them back off, the bell rings, and now the two fire off fast and furious fists! Fans fire up as they go around with haymakers and forearms! They keep going back and forth, then Rollins knees low! Rollins whips, Finn reverses but Rollins whips Finn again to CLOBBER him! Fans fire up and Rollins storms up to CHOP! Finn goes to another corner, but Rollins CHOPS! Finn goes to another corner, but Rollins CHOPS! Rollins whips corner to corner, runs in to forearm smash! Then whip the other way, for another forearm smash! Rollins suplexes but Finm slips free!

Finn BOOTS Rollins from the corner, KICKS the arm, then trips Rollins to DOUBLE STOMP! Fans boo as Finn rains down fists, shouting about “SEVEN YEARS!” Finn then soaks up the cheer and jeers from Detroit. Finn storms up on Rollins, wraps an arm around ropes and he throws body shots! Finn CHOPS, then wraps the arm around ropes again! The ref counts, Finn lets off, but Rollins goes after Finn. Finn wrenches and wrangles Rollins down and digs his knee into the shoulder. Finn pulls on the arm, hammerlocks it, then digs his forearm into Rollins’ face. Finn SNAP LOCKS the hammerlock!

Rollins endures as Finn keeps on the hammerlock, but Finn shifts to a cording hold. Rollins stands up and pushes Finn to scoop him! But Finn slips out, wrenches and wrangles Rollins again! Rollins endures, even as Finn pulls the arm. Finn drops a knee on the elbow! Rollins goes to a corner but Finn RAMS into him! Finn wraps the arm around ropes, pulls, but lets off with a CHOP! Rollins goes to another corner but Finn brings him around, hammerlock and then he RAMS that arm into buckles! Finn is back to the cording hold and he digs his knee into Rollins’ head. Rollins endures, fans rally up, and Rollins fights up.

Finn wrenches but Rollins ROCKS him! Finn YANKS the arm, Rollins throws another forearm! Finn YANKS, Rollins ROCKS! Rollins is free, then he fires off more shots! Haymaker, CHOP, repeat! CHOP, CHOP, CHOP! Rollins whips, Finn reverses but Rollins reverses but Finn tilt-o-whirls around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP, into the FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Finn pulls but Rollins endures, and Rollins moves around. Rollins reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Finn lets off at 4 and he argues with the ref. Finn throws down elbows, has Rollins in a corner, and then CHOPS! And body shots! And kicks! And kicks and CLUBS and just fier soff!

The ref backs Finn off, but Finn whips Rollins corner to corner. Rollins comes back to LARIAT! And mule kick! And front kick! Finn sputters, Rollins grabs him by the beard to give HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT! And Kawada Kicks, too! Then a DISCUS LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and duel as Rollins stands back up. Rollins aims as Finn stands, and Rollins kicks low. Rollins underhooks, but Finn trips him! Rollins boots Finn away, Finn comes back, but Rollins blocks the Slingblade to FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO! Finn escapes and goes out to the apron. Rollins nods as fans rally up, and Rollins builds speed!

Rollins DIVES and sends Finn into the desk! Rollins slides back in, builds speed again, and DIVES again! Finn hits the desk a second time, and Rollins keeps going! Rollins DIVES and Finn is on the desk! The hattrick is complete and the fans fire back up! Rollins puts Finn in, hurries to a corner, and Finn sputters to his feet. Rollins climbs, but Finn ROCKS him first! Finn has blood in his mouth but he HOTSHOTS Rollins down! Finn then drags Rollins up to POST him! Rollins falls to the floor! Finn snarls while the ring count climbs. Finn goes out, and he says look at where they are. Finn brings Rollins in but Rollins fights the bomb lift!

Rollins gives Finn SNAKE EYES off the apron, puts him back in, but Finn KICKS him in the ropes! Finn goes out and he brings Rollins off the apron! BARRIER BOMB!! Seven years ago revisited!! Then Finn puts Rollins in the ring! Rollins staggers around, Finn hits a SLINGBLADE! Fans are torn as Finn aims from a corner! SHOT- SUPERKICK! Fireman’s carry, but Finn slips off, EYE OF THE STORM! Cover, TWO!! But into an ARMBAR!! Rollins endures as Finn pulls on the arm! Fans rally up, Rollins fights and pushes the legs away to then stack Finn! TWO, and Rollins deadlifts Finn, for a BUCKLE BOMB!!

Finn staggers, into another BUCKLE BOMB!! Rollins goes up while Finn is in the drop zone! FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Finn survives the onslaught but Rollins is too tired to be upset! Finn and Rollins slowly rise and the fans fire up again. Rollins eggs Finn on, and then ROLLING ELBOWS! And turn, for the DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! Finn flounders, Rollins runs in, but into a wheelbarrow and STOMP 182! Finn hurries and runs in, SHOTGUN! Rollins hits buckles then flops into the drop zone! Finn goes up, but Rollins springs up after him! SUPERPLEX! Roll through, COUNTER CRADLE?!? TWO!!!

Rollins PELES, but Finn PELES!! Both men are down and Detroit is thunderous! “This is Awesome!” as both men slowly rise! Finn and Rollins glare at each other, and Finn throws haymakers! Rollins throws them back, they go back and forth again and again and pick up speed! Fans fire up as Rollins gets the edge! ROLLING ELBOW! And then- NO, Finn dodges to SHOTGUN again!! Finn is determined to hit this! Finn is up top, to COUP DE- NO, Rollins moves, kicks low, underhooks and PEDIGREE!!! Cover, TWO!!! Finn survives, and the fans see something! It’s DAMIAN PRIEST! He has his MITB briefcase!!

Rollins is worried a bit, but he runs in! Finn dodges the curb stomp, rolls Rollins up, TWO! Rollins fireman’s carries, but Finn sunset flips! Rollins sits on it, TWO, and a SUCKER PUNCH from Priest!! Finn steals the PEDIGREE!!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Finn and Priest are shocked that Rollins survives their screw job!! Priest paces around anxiously, considering his options. And of course, here comes Mami & Dommy! Rhea Ripley & Dominik Mysterio are here, but Finn says no, they were supposed to wait! He won’t let Priest cash in yet! This is still Plan A, he wins! Rollins runs in, but Finn sends him into Priest!

Roll-up, but Rollins rolls through! CURB STOMP!!! Cover, TWO!??!? Finn survives and Judgment Day sighs in relief. They almost screwed Finn up there! Rollins goes back to a corner, he climbs up, but he senses Judgment Day, so he LEAPS to take out Priest! And he SUPERKICKS Dom! CURB STOMP for Dom!! Rollins gets in, SLINGBLADE from Finn!! SHOTGUN again!!! Finn goes right back up, to COUP DE GRACE!!! Cover, TWO?!?!?! No one can believe Rollins is still in this! Rhea checks Dom, Priest tells Finn to keep going but Finn says they almost messed this up as it is! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” but Priest goes to distract the ref?

The briefcase is on the apron! Finn goes over to grab it, but Rollins CURB STOMPS Finn onto it!! Cover, ROLLINS WINS!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall (still WWE World Heavyweight Champion)

Two times now, Priest has cost Finn because of MITB indecision! And he is certainly not happy about it. But he also doesn’t try to cash in after, and Rollins gets away to the back. Finn sits up, and he glares at Priest. Is the Judgment Day back to square one on how to handle things?

 

The Alpha Academy chills backsatge.

There’s nothing they’d rather be doing on SummerSlam weekend than playing WWE 2K23 with their friends, and having their favorite drinks, Mike’s Harder Lemonade. You all know what a Mike is right? Mikes are the work-hard, play-hard types, that watch out for their own. Like Cody Rhodes! Is Bianca Belair a Mike? The EST is of course a Mike. And Rollins is a Mike. So then, can Maxxine be a Mike? NO! Because The Miz steps in. No one here is a Mike! HE is the only Mike in the WWE, because his name is Mike “The Miz” Mizanin! And Gable is just Chad. SHOOSH. Chad is a Mike. And a harder one than Miz ever will be.

Miz is way harder! Uh, excuse us, Mark- NO! MIKE! HE IS MIKE! SHOOOSH! SHOOOSH! WHEN MY HAND GOES UP- Otis puts Miz in a trunk! So is Maxxine a Mike now? OOOOH YEAAAH~!

 

WWE Women’s Championship Triple Threat: Asuka VS Charlotte Flair VS Bianca Belair!

The Empress of Tomorrow has plenty of history with both The Queen and The EST. Charlotte ended Asuka’s undefeated streak, and Asuka used blue mist on her fingers to take the title from Bianca. And let’s not forget, Miss Money in the Bank is around here somewhere… Will the odds drastic go down for Asuka now that she has to face multiple foes at once? Or will we have a NEW Women’s Champion one way or another?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who truly wears the crown!

The bell rings and all three are wary of the others. They circle, feel things out, and then Charlotte kicks! Asuka dodges, Bianca dodges, and the three reset. Asuka dodges again, victory rolls Bianca but Charlotte kicks her! Charlotte puts Asuka out, but Asuka HOTHOTS a leg! Bianca runs Charlotte over, then handsprings at Asuka, but Asuka hotshots the leg! Charlotte runs Bianca over, Asuka gets in but her hip toss is caught to a back suplex! Charlotte kips up and fans “WOO!” but Charlotte senses Bianca is there. The two circle, Charlotte rolls Bianca up, ONE! Bianca runs, Charlotte dodge but Bianca handsprings over.

Things keep moving, Charlotte handsprings over Bianca! Bianca runs in, Charlotte sidesteps then kitchen sink knees! Charlotte brings Bianca up, whips her to a corner, but Bianca reverses. Charlotte tumbles up and out, BOOTS Bianca, but Asuka YANKS Charlotte down! Bianca PLANCHAS them both! Fans fire up with Bianca and she puts Asuka in. Bianca kicks Charlotte away, but Asuka SLIDING KICKS Bianca down! Cover, TWO! Asuka keeps her cool and brings Bianca up. Asuka kicks Bianca around, stands on her face, and just taunts Bianca as she digs her heel in. Asuka then lets off to run, but Bianca blocks the boot!

Bianca ROCKS Asuka, whips her to ropes, but Asuka reverses. Bianca elbows back, runs in, but into a POP-UP KNEE! Cover, but Charlotte drags Asuka way to BOOT her down! Fans rally, Charlotte runs in but Asuka dodges the splash to GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans rally, Asuka grins as she has her choice of targets. Asuka KICKS Bianca, KICKS Charlotte, repeat! Charlotte ducks to roll Asuka, TWO! Charlotte scoops again but Asuka slips out to GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up as Charlotte flops out of the ring. Asuka goes after Bianca and waistlocks but Bianca fights. Bianca elbows free, spins Asuka around, and suplexes!

Asuka counters to a cradle, TWO! Bianca catches Asuka to chicken wings! Asuka fights that, bumps free, but Charlotte CROSSBODIES in! Direct hit on both Bianca and Asuka and fans “WOO~!” for Charlotte. Charlotte CHOPS Asuka, CHOPS Bianca, repeat! Then Charlotte scoops Asuka for an EXPLODER! Charlotte gets Bianca for an EXPLODER, too! Bianca and Asuka end up in the same corner, and Charlotte kips up! Charlotte needs a little help with her gear, Bianca and Asuka scrap in the corner. Charlotte runs to SPLASH them both! Snapmare and BOOT for Bianca! BOOT from Asuka, but BOOT from Charlotte!

DOUBLE NATURAL SELECTION!! Cover on them both, TWO!! Both Asuka and Bianca survive and Charlotte is annoyed. Fans rally, Charlotte drags Asuka up and she ELBOWS Asuka! Bianca swings, Charlotte counters, but Asuka ROUNDHOUSES Charlotte! Bianca ROCKS Asuka, Charlotte BOOTS Bianca! Asuka hits a CODE BREAKER on Charlotte! Cover, TWO!! All three women are down and fans rally up! All three rise, and Charlotte brawls with Bianca. Asuka gets in, she gets hit, then hits back. Bianca hits Asuka, Charlotte hits Bianca, they all stand up and keep throwing forearms at each other!

Charlotte ROCKS Bianca, CHOPS her, but Asuka ducks a chop to ROCK Bianca! Bianca CLOBBERS Charlotte, Asuka pulls Bianca’s hair! Charlotte runs in but Bianca BOOTS her! Asuka TOSSES Bianca, but Charlotte ROCKS Asuka! And again! Asuka KICKS a leg! Asuka runs but Bianca ROCKS her! Bianca runs in to kick Charlotte, turn her, and she catches Asuka, too! NECKBREAKER DDT COMBO! Fans fire up as The EST kips up! Bianca waits on Charlotte, runs in and RAMS her in the corner! Bianca climbs up to rain down fists! Fans count along and Bianca gets to 8. Asuka runs in, Bianca flips up and over! BACKBREAKER!

Charlotte runs in, SPINEBUSTER! Bianca has them both lined up and she runs to HANDSPRING MOONSAULT onto all four knees!! Charlotte SPEARS Bianca! Asuka BUZZSAWS Charlotte! ASUKA LOCK!!! Charlotte is caught, Bianca is down! Charlotte flails, fades, but Bianca HANDSPRING MOONSAULTS! Direct hit on them both this time! All three women are down and fans fire back up! Bianca hobbles up, she has Charlotte in a drop zone, and she climbs the corner. Fans rally up again, but Asuka SHOTEIS first! Bianca tumbles to the floor, Asuka goes up! But Charlotte DECKS Asuka! Asuka joins Bianca on the outside!

Charlotte sees her targets, and she decides to climb the corner! Fans fire up for the ARIHARA MOOONSAULT! She only gets Bianca, though! Asuka ROUNDHOUSES Charlotte, puts her in, and climbs the corner! FLYING DDT!! Cover, BIANCA BREAKS IT! All three are down again and fans fire back up! Bianca rises first, she drags Asuka up. Asuka kicks, Bianca ducks and torture racks! But Asuka flails, grabs ropes and gets free! Bianca swings but Asuka SWATS that arm! ROPE ASSISTED ASUKA LOCK! but Charlotte BOOTS Asuka down! Only for Bianca to torture rack! KISS OF- NO, Charlotte lands out, but Bianca dodges a boot!

Bianca GERMAN SUPLEXES Charlotte inside-out! But Asuka TOSSES Bianca! Cover on Charlotte, TWO!!! But into the ARMBAR!! Charlotte flails, moves around, but that turns into a TRIANGLE HOLD! Asuka squeezes tight, Charlotte still stacks Asuka, and then deadlifts her! Asuka fights to bring Charlotte back down! Bianca jumps in to gut wrench Charlotte up! POWERBOMB!! But ASUKA LOCK ON BIANCA!!!! Bianca flails, Charlotte stacks them both! TWO!!! Charlotte is beside herself as this continues! “This is Awesome!” Charlotte BOOTS Asuka, goes to a corner, Bianca runs in but into a BACKBREAKER and BUCKLE SHOT!

Charlotte sees her targets, and she sets them up side by side. Charlotte goes up top, for a MOONSAULT onto them both!! Double cover, TWO!!! Charlotte is furious, but she gets two legs? Asuka and Bianca fight the Double Figure Four, then Bianca runs in! Charlotte dumps her up and out and Bianca SMACKS off the steel steps! Bianca clutches her knee, the ref checks her. Asuka CLOBBERS Charlotte, backslides, TWO!! Medics show up to check Bianca as Charlotte BOOTS Bianca! Charlotte throws Asuka away, then goes up top. But Asuka SHOTEIS again! Asuka goes up, Charlotte fights her off, but Asuka ROCKS her again!

Asuka climbs, fires off forearms, and then climbs up after her! Asuka is on the very top rope now, and she brings Charlotte up! SUPER DUPER PLEX!! Both women are down, medics take Bianca away but she can barely walk on that leg. Fans rally up, hoping for the best in Bianca’s case. Charlotte and Asuka stir, They sit up, and they fire off furious forearms back and forth! Asuka gets the edge, then URAKEN! SOBAT! URAKEN! Asuka runs, into a SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!! Charlotte drags Asuka around, steps through, FIGURE FOUR!! Asuka flails, fights the bridge, but Bianca fights her way back!?

Bianca gets up on the apron as Charlotte bridges for the FIGURE EIGHT!! Asuka endures, Bianca aims, EST 450!!! Cover on Charlotte, TWO!?!??! Charlotte survives and Bianca can’t believe it! Bianca clutches her leg again, and all three are down. Fans rally up and Charlotte stirs. Asuka is outside the ring somewhere, and now Charlotte says she and Bianca can settle this. Bianca says fine, b*tch! And she ROCKS Charlotte! Charlotte ROCKS Bianca! Bianca ROCKS Charlotte! They go back and forth with forearms, barely able to stand! Fans fire up as the shots keep going, Bianca ducks a chop, ducks another, and torture racks!

Bianca fights through the pain, but Charlotte flips out to arm-drag! Asuka is there, Bianca sends Charlotte into her! But then Charlotte rolls Bianca! And has the leg!! FIGURE FOUR!!! Bianca flails and hits Charlotte, Charlotte SLAPS her around! FIGURE EIGHT!!! Bianca claws at Charlotte’s legs, but Asuka BLUE MISTS Charlotte!!! And BUZZ- NO, Bianca ducks to roll Asuka up!? BIANCA WINS!!!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s Champion)

No one can believe it, but Bianca snatches victory from the various jaws of defeat!! BUT WAIT!! THE EVIL GENIUS IS HERE!! Bianca can’t believe her reign is in danger already! Bayley CLOBBERS Charlotte, SMACKS Asuka, and then gets in the ring. Bianca DECKS Bayley, but Iyo CHOP BLOCKS the leg! And CLOBBERS Bianca with the briefcase!! Iyo cashes in!!!

WWE Women’s Championship Money in the Bank Cash-In: Bianca Belair VS Iyo Sky w/ Bayley!

The bell rings, Sky is up top, OVER THE MOONSAULT!! Cover, IYO WINS!!!

Winner: Iyo Sky, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s Champion)

Bianca once had the longEST reign, and now she might have had the shortEST! The Evil Genius pulls it off, and Bayley is there to celebrate with her! And so is DAKOTA KAI! All of DMG CTRL celebrates together at the biggest party of the Summer! Just past the one year anniversary of this group’s debut, and Iyo is on top of the world! Will this only be a new beginning for the trio?

 

Undisputed WWE Universal Championship & Tribal Chiefdom, Tribal Combat: Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Jey Uso!

A title reign that has gone on for three years, and a story that has gone on for a lifetime, could all end here in the most brutal way possible. No count outs, no disqualifications, no ropebreaks, no limitations on what these two are allowed to finally put this to rest. Will the reigning, defending, Undisputed Head of the Table still be Roman Reigns? Or will Main Event Jey win in the main event to finally change the status quo?

As the music fades away, Heyman hands Roman the mic. “SummerSlam…! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Fans seem pretty torn, but Jey doesn’t even look at Roman. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and then Heyman reluctantly hands over the red Ula Fala lei. Roman steps to Jey, holds the Ula Fala up, and says if Jey wins here, Roman gives him this. Not the ref, not Heyman, Roman himself. Jey nods, and finally, we see who is the REAL Tribal Chief!

The bell rings and fans are thunderous as the two stare down. Heyman is stressed out already as Roman and Jey take a moment to hear the fans chanting “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!” Jey and Roman slowly circle, and then they tie up. Roman powers Jey to a corner, Roman smothers Jey and then lets off. Jey scowls, Roman shoves him, so Jey shoves back. Roman laughs that off and the two circle again. Roman hears the fans chant for Jey but he brushes that off. He and Jey tie up again, Roman headlocks and he grinds Jey down. Jey fights up, powers out, but Roman runs Jey over! Jey sits up and Roman scowls again.

Fans boo at Roman as he goes to a corner, and Jey stands back up. Jey and Roman circle, fans continue to rally up and Jey shakes out his arms. Fans duel, “LET’S GO, ROMAN!” “ROMAN SUCKS!” Roman and Jey tie up, Jey headlocks, and he grinds Roman down. Roman pulls at hair, stands back up, and he powers Jey away, then things speed up. Roman CLOBBERS Jey down, “Who sucks now, boy!?” Fans boo at Roman but he stalks Jey to a corner. Roman stands Jey up to DECK him, then he stomps a mudhole in at the corner! Roman stands on Jey’s neck then digs his boot in. Roman lets off and says he’s still the one.

Roman paces around while fans boo, and Roman stalks Jey again. Jey sits up, Roman KNEES him back down! Roman soaks up the cheers and jeers from Detroit with a smile. Jey rises up again, Roman brings him around, and he hits a back suplex. Jey lands out to ROCK Roman with haymakers! Jey puts some stank on the last one and ROCKS Roman! Jey whips, Roman reverses but Jey slips out of the Samoan Drop to mule kick and UPPERCUT! Jey clotheslines Roman out of the ring, then DIVES out onto him! Roman takes the hit into the back! Jey stalks Roman, then whips him into the steel steps!

Fans rally up while the ref checks Roman. Roman is okay to continue so Jey storms over. Jey pushes the steel steps aside and he talks trash on Heyman. Fans want tables and Jey hears the fans. Jey goes looking under the ring and fans fire up! Jey brings out a TABLE! Detroit fires up again as Jey sets this table. Heyman wants Jey to show mercy to his blood, to his Tribal Chief! Jey says yeah, okay, but now look who is the head of the table! But then Roman ROCKS Jey with a right! And SMACKS him off the steps! Roman brings Jey around, puts him in the ring, and fans boo. Roman looms over Jey, brings him up, and smacks him off buckles.

Roman HEABUTTS Jey, whips him corner to corner hard, and then runs in, but Jey ENZIGURIS! Jey goes up the corner, leaps over Roman, but Roman throws Jey backwards into the buckles! Jey falls, the ref checks him, but he is okay to continue. Fans boo Roman and chant “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!” Roman wags his finger, saying they don’t do that to him. Roman tells them to hush but they just get louder! Roman shakes his head while Jey flounders along ropes. Roman goes out to take aim, DRIVE-BY DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Roman is annoyed as Jey hangs in there. Roman eggs the fans on so they get even louder!

Roman goes back to Jey, stands him up, but Jey UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And kicks, but Roman blocks, only for the DRAGON WHIP to hit! Roman bails out, Jey stands, and fans rally up. Jey builds speed to DIVE, but into a KENDO STICK! Roman pulled that outta nowhere, and he gets in the ring to SMACK Jey! And again! And again! And again! Heyman says show him what Tribal Combat is about! Roman soaks up the heat, then he paces around. Jey sits up, Roman SMACKS him down again! Roman taunts Jey, and Jey rises again. Jey goes to a corner, fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” at Roman.

Roman points the stick at all of them, he wishes he could smack them. Roman lifts Jey’s chin with the kendo stick, and says Jey doesn’t stand a chance. “Get up, Lil’ Jey! Get up!” Roman makes Jey stand, then swings, but Jey UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS again! Roman wobbles, Jey UPPERCUTS again! But Roman turns it around to fire point-blank LARIATS in the corner! Roman goes all the way to TEN, and then past ten, to then push Jey down! Fans boo as Roman catches his breath in the corner. Roman talks to himself as he tends to do, and he soaks up all the cheers and jeers from the fans.

Roman locks ‘n’ loads, aims at Jey, then runs in, into a KENDO STICK SMACK! Jey gets a turn now and he SMACKS away on Roman’s body! Fans fire up as the stick BREAKS on Roman’s body! Jey runs in, to CLOBBER Roman up and out! Then Jey FLIES!! Direct hit at the ramp and fans fire up again! Heyman is panicking as Jey stands up and hobbles over to Roman. Fans rally, Jey puts Roman in the ring, and then Jey climbs a corner! CROSS- SUPERMAN PUNCH!! Roman shoots Jey outta the sky! Cover, TWO!! Jey survives and Roman is seething. Fans rally up and duel again as Roman stands. Roman goes to a corner, and he watches Jey rise.

Roman lets out the battle cry, “OOOAH~!” but Jey jumps the spear to roll Roman up! TWO!! SUPERKICK!! Roman is down, Jey hurries up top! USO SPLASH!!! Cover, TWO!!! Roman survives and Jey can’t believe it! Roman sputters, and Jey crawls to the apron. Jey looks under the ring again, and he brings out a chair! Heyman is even more worried than he was a moment ago as Jey glares at Roman. Jey stands, chair in hand. Jey tells Heyman to look at Roman. Heyman pleads for mercy, but Jey SMACKS Roman! Roman writhes, Heyman begs, but Jey licks the chair before he SMACKS Roman again!

Jey puts the chair down, Heyman continues to beg but fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jey says hold on, and he goes out to bring in a whole STACK o’ chairs! Jey tosses them in a few at a time, the ref having to watch out for himself! Jey then takes a moment to stare Heyman down. Heyman continues to plead and reason with Jey’s humanity, but Jey stands Roman up. Jey hoists Roman up top, and then Jey climbs up top! Fans fire up but Roman fights the suplex! Roman throws body shots, then HEADBUTTS Jey down! Jey staggers back, Roman adjusts his position up top, but Jey GAMANGIRIS first!

Jey goes back up, brings Roman up, but Roman slips under to have Jey for a POWERBOMB onto the chairs!! Cover, TWO!!! Jey survives and Roman can’t believe it! Fans rally up but Roman tells them to hush. The fans boo now but Roman goes looking under the ring. Roman brings it a second table! Roman puts this one in the ring, clears some space, and then sets the table up against the corner. But Jey runs in, only for Roman to fireman’s carry! Jey grabs ropes, lands safe on the apron, and he HOTSHOTS Roman! Jey stands, Roman ROCKS him with a right! Jey holds onto the ropes, and ROCKS Roman!

Roman ROCKS Jey again, but Jey ROCKS Roman! They go back and forth, Roman gets the edge, and Jey wobbles! But Jey RAMS into Roman, slingshots, but Roman UPPERCUTS Jey outta the air! Roman throws up the finger, runs in, but Jey GAMANGIRIS! Jey drags Roman up to a fireman’s carry! Roman holds on, CLUBS Jey, but Jey powers up! SAMOAN DROP through the table!!! Fans lose their minds as both men are down in the wreckage! Heyman is stunned that both men are still okay to continue. Jey crawls away and Roman drags himself from the wreckage. Jey follows after Roman, but also brings out something from under the ring.

Jey reveals it is a LEATHER STRAP! Jey stalks Roman, and then LASHES him on the back! Roman writhes and Jey shouts, “What now?! What now?!?” Jey swings again, and LASHES Roman on the arm! Jey stalks Roman as he goes into the crowd! Jey leaves the strap behind as Roman pushes his way to the back. Jey storms up and UPPERCUTS! The fans get even closer to the action now as Jey UPPERCUTS Roman again! Jey grabs a bottle of water, rehydrates, then brings Roman around. The fans shout “Do it for Jimmy!” Jey fireman’s carries Roman, but SOLO SIKOA ATTACKS! Fans boo as the Enforcer gets involved!

Solo rains down fists on Jey and fans boo! Solo clears off the nearby table and he drags Jey up! Solo clinches, URENAGE through the table!! Fans boo as Solo roars over Jey! Fans tell Solo not to do it but Roman tells Solo to get Jey back to ringside. Solo drags Jey by an arm and makes his way through the crowd. Fans boo but Roman talks trash on Jey the entire time! Solo drags Jey up so he can fireman’s carry Jey the rest of the way. Solo dumps Jey over the barriers, and then looms over him. Solo drags Jey up, puts him in the ring for Roman, and Roman tells Solo to finish this! Solo gets in the ring, he drags Jey up, and hits a SPINNING SOLO!

Solo roars and fans boo but Roman raises the finger. Roman steps into the ring now, and he tells Solo to get Jey up again. Solo does as told, and Heyman is no longer worried. Solo and Roman coordinate, “OOOAH~!” Roman runs, but Jey pulls Solo into the war! SPEAR to Solo!!! Roman freaks out, and Jey SPEARS Roman!!! Cover, TWO!!! Roman survives but Heyman is worried again! Jey throws off his armbands and he grabs some chairs! Jey snarls as he glares at Roman. Roman stirs, Solo sits up, Jey SMACKS Solo! Then he SMACKS Roman! And then he SMACKS Solo again! Jey tells Roman to get up!

Jey JAMS the chair into Roman’s stomach again and again, then SMACKS him on the arm! Fans fire up behind Jey as Heyman is on the verge of tears! Jey goes out with a chair to stalk Roman. Jey swings, but Solo SUPERKICKS! Solo saves Roman again, and Roman calls him over. But then Solo doesn’t obey? Fans want Solo to stand up for himself! Roman stands, he asks what Solo is doing, but might see a vulnerability in Roman. Roman tells Solo to use the Samoan Spike, but Solo argues with him. Jey SPEARS Roman through the barriers!! And Solo isn’t even upset! Fans fire up, “This is Awesome!”

Solo drags Jey up, and he ROCKS Jey with a forearm! Solo clears off the announce desk, drags Jey up and clinches, but Jey slips free! SUPERKICK! Solo ends up on the desk! Jey goes up the barriers, to USO SPLASH Solo through the desk!! Fans fire up again, and Jey hurries after Roman! Jey puts Roman in the ring, runs, and SPEARS!!! Jey hurries to a corner, he goes up, and he USO SPLASHES!!! Cover, but someone drags Jey outta the ring?!? WHO!? No…! NOOOO! JIMMY!?!? Why would Jimmy do this to Jey!?!? Jey is the most confused and upset by this! How could Jimmy turn on Jey after they both stood up to Roman!?

The fans tell Jimmy off but Jimmy doesn’t care. He SUPERKICKS Jey!!! Jimmy puts Jey in the ring for Roman then leaves. Even Roman is confused, but then he SPEARS Jey through the corner table!!! Roman covers, and wins!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall (still WWE Universal Champion and Tribal Chief)

Just when it seemed like Jey finally stopped all the madness, all the drama, all the pain, his own twin brother sold his soul to screw Jey over! For what reason did Jimmy do this? What could have possibly turned Jimmy against Jey? And now that Roman still has Ula Fala and Undisputed Universal Championship, what will it take to finally take those from him?


My Thoughts:

A mostly awesome SummerSlam, but of all the “Roman Reigns survives” finishes, I hate this one the most. Jimmy being the guy to screw Jey over just feels wrong. Jealousy of some kind is the only explanation but even then, that is weak sauce for me. Yeah, fine, Roman doesn’t lose, but this just doesn’t set right with me. But again, this final moment was the only real bad one. Which is a very familiar feeling with other WWE PPVs/PLEs. We still got a great opener out of Logan VS Ricochet, and I really liked the references both guys were giving to Attitude Era wrestlers. And Logan getting the brass knuckle cheating win is fine, it gets him more heat and it protects Ricochet.

Cody VS Lesnar being the second match of the night was a big surprise, but I suppose it fits Lesnar’s preference to get outta there as soon as possible after doing his job. And it was a really good match, with Cody taking a lot of damage but then coming back to win. Lesnar showing Cody respect was also a good detail, it is a clean way for them both to move on from this. A little confused as to why the steel steps ramming into Lesnar wasn’t a DQ, though… The Battle Royal was a lot of fun, though I was worried Omos getting in was going to mean he wins. But instead, Knight still wins out, and everyone is happy. I just hope this means Knight gets a title shot in the future.

The MMA Rules match was really good stuff, though I feel like the Detroit crowd forgot what MMA Rules would mean. It was a slow start, but then things got going fast at the end, and Shayna winning was the right move. She was the real Face in this story all along, and for all we know, Ronda wants another break so this is a good point for her to leave. Awesome Intercontinental Championship match, Gunther and McIntyre are just so good at beating people up. But in the end, a good, clean (mostly) finish to it with Gunther just assaulting McIntyre with his best moves. Gunther is definitely going to get that Honky Tonk Man record, Payback is spaced out almost perfectly for it.

Awesome World Heavyweight Championship match, but of course Judgment Day shows up at some point. The dysfunction over the MITB contract was played well here, too, and it ends up costing Finn again for great effect. We’re definitely going to get more out of this on Monday. And then, we got a great Triple Threat from Asuka, Charlotte and Bianca. Though, it was maybe a little too fast to keep it clean at the start. And great injury swerve with Bianca, she really looked to be out of the running. And that had to have been the most creative finish to a Triple Threat ever. And then on top of that, we finally get that cash-in from Iyo Sky. I didn’t think DMG CTRL would survive this phase, but they have, and it’s really a great moment to bring things full circle from last year’s great return for Bayley, Iyo & Dakota.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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