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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (11/23/23)

Hungry, hungrier, hungriest!

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The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 49

The table is set for HPW Fyter Feast! And only the hungriest warriors will make it through to challenge champions at HyruleMania 4!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • HPW Trios Championships #1 Contenders Match: Arrow Club VS The Faces of Evil; Arrow Club wins and will challenge the UnderWorld Order for the titles at HyruleMania.
  • Million Rupee Championship #1 Contender’s Lottery Triple Threat: Aveil VS Iron Knuckle VS Master Kohga; Aveil wins and will challenge Hollywood ReDead for the title at HyruleMania.
  • HyruleMania Challengers Appetizer Trios Match: Link, Igos du Ikana & Ruto VS The Dark Forces; Link, Igos & Ruto win.
  • HPW Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: Yunobo VS Dinolfos VS Thunderbird VS Grim Creeper VS Sharky Shipwreck VS Kevin Gibdo VS Zelda; Kevin LOSES and the rest advance to HyruleMania.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

Clash of Fates 2023 was an epic, and in the end, the Hero of Hyrule will once again face his shadow for the Triforce Championship! Similarly, Igos du Ikana is going back for the HPW Termina Championship, while Midna is in need of a challenger for the HPW Goddess Championship. Link and Igos will team together with the woman HPW has deemed worthy of facing the Twilight Princess, but who will that be? And in another mystery showdown, Ted Beedle Ossi holds a lottery to decide which three stars battle it out for a chance at the Million Rupee Championship! Whose fortunes will change in tonight’s Triple Threat?

Speaking of luck and fortune, a seven star showdown shines in tonight’s main event! Four of this year’s Dark Horses, the TCW legend, the Dark Forces’ Mighty Mummy, and the Princess of Hyrule all want to go to HyruleMania and climb the ladder, but in a wild flipside, it comes down to who LOSES that match! Someone has to be the bottom rung, who ends up the odd one out on the road to the New Year?

But first, the Hyrule Warriors match was plunged into chaos (or at least more chaos than usual) when the Faces of Evil bent the rules and went after several stars, and got on the bad side of Arrow Club! These two factions go to war, a shot at the Trios Championships on the line, but the question is: which three is each side putting up? A mystery appetizer is hot and ready, HPW Fyter Fest in Sturnida Basin starts now!

 

HPW Trios Championships #1 Contenders Match: Arrow Club VS The Faces of Evil!

These teams went wild during the Hyrule Warriors match, which in the end cost them all a shot at the top title. But now they settle things with a set of golden tickets to HyruleMania on the line! Who steps up to the plate to carve their opponents like a turkey?

All five members of “A-A-A-Arrow Club 4 Life” are here, and all five step into the ring. The ref tries to sort out who is starting but Fin Balure tells him to relax. Then the FOE make their way out, and all four men get in the ring. The ref wants them to sort out, too, but none of the nine wrestlers budges. They stare down, and then Bad Croc Scaly rushes Glutko! Scaly tackles Glutko out of the ring, and the rest of the teams brawl! The ref reprimands but the fans fire up! Mack & Rick Quackson brawl with Lupay & Harlequin, Fin & Torbevito mug Militron. Militron shoves both Zora away, and he BOOTS Fin down!

Torbevito runs up but Militron picks Torbevito up, and trophy lifts him! Militron THROWS Torbevito out onto Scaly and Glutko! And we have our six! The ref has the bell ring so this is on record, as Militron turns around into a SHOTGUN dropkick from Fin! Fans continue to rally as Harlequin & Lupay get the edge on The Ducks. Harlequin & Lupay double whip, but the Ducks hold onto the ropes! Fin CHOPS Lupay, CHOPS Harlequin, CHOPS again, then ends up where the Ducks are. Fin aims finger guns and BANG, DOUBLE SUPERKICKS from the Ducks! Fans fire up while Lupay falls out of the ring, leaving Harlequin in.

The Arrow Club finally sorts out and Rick officially starts. Rick brings Harlequin up, throws some forearms, then whips. Harlequin reverses but Rick ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl and arm-drag! Harlequin ends up in a corner, Rick runs in to SHINING WIZARD! GAMANGIRI! CLOTHESLINE! And BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Rick drags Harlequin over and tags in Mack. The Ducks double whip Harlequin, but Lupay sneaks a tag! Harlequin still takes the double hip toss, and the Ducks still double handspring, but Lupay runs up to DROPKICK Rick! Mack rushes Lupay, but then Harlequin anchors Mack’s feet!

Lupay ROCKS Mack, the ref reprimands Harlequin but Lupay CLAWS Mack’s back! Lupay puts Mack in the FOE corner, stomps a mudhole into him, then lets off with a howl. Fans boo while Lupay taunts Fin. The ref has to keep Fin back, and that allows Militron to CHOKE Mack! Militron gets away with it and Lupay stomps Mack more. Tag to Militron, and Lupay drags Mack up. Lupay feeds Mack to Militron’s bearhug! Militron squeezes tight and even thrashes Mack around, but fans rally up as Mack endures. Mack throws elbows over and over, Militron lets him go, but then Militron keeps him away from his corner!

Militron whips Mack back to the FOE corner, runs in and SPLASHES! Harlequin tags back in, runs to BLAST Rick back off the apron, but Fin gets back before Harlequin hits him. Fans boo and Fin protests but Militron feeds Mack to Harlequin’s THESZ PRESS! Harlequin rains down fists, then lets off to shout and holler while fans boo. Harlequin goes back to Mack, and drops a knee on Mack’s head! Harlequin stalks Mack as he writhes, and then drops another knee! Mack goes to ropes but Harlequin CHOKES him! The ref counts, Harlequin lets off, and he taunts Fin again. The ref keeps Fin back again, and that lets Militron KICK Mack from the ropes!

Harlequin runs to SENTON! Cover, TWO! Fans rally but Harlequin drags Mack up to bump him off buckles. And again and again and again! Harlequin smothers Mack against the buckle, the ref counts but Lupay tags in. Lupay goes up the corner while Harlequin keeps Mack in the corner. Lupay CLAWS Mack’s back! The fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Lupay lets off. Lupay then throws Mack down by his head feathers and the ref reprimands again. Lupay runs to drop an AX HANDLE, then covers, TWO! Lupay keeps Mack down with a chinlock. Mack endures and fans rally up again as he fights around.

Mack gets to his feet, throws elbows, and he gets free. Mack reaches out but Lupay holds him back from the corner! Mack throws forearms, but Lupay holds on. Mack swings again, but Lupay ducks and ripcords to RAM shoulders! Lupay wrenches and hooks Mack up for a MOUSE TRAP! TWO and both men scramble up, run in and DOUBLE LARIAT! Fans fire up while both men are down! Mack and Lupay crawl, fans rally, hot tags to Rick and Militron! Fans fire up as Rick dodges Militron to ROUNDHOUSE Harlequin! He SOBATS Militron, ROLLING ELBOWS Lupay, then SPINNING ROUNDHOUSES on Militron!

Rick goes to the apron and he PENALTY KICKS Harlequin! Militron storms up but Rick says “SUCK IT!” as he SLINGSHOT FACEBUSTERS Militron down! Fans fire up, but Rick keeps going! He cartwheels to the apron to ASAI MOONSAULT Harlequin & Lupay down! Rick gets back in, he drags Militron to a cover, TWO! Rick is annoyed but he drags Militron up. Rick whips Militron to the Arrow Club corner, coordinates with Mack, and they LARIAT ENZIGURI COMBO! Tag to Fin and fans fire up! Fin runs corner to corner and back again, he and Mack LARIAT ENZIGURI COMBO! Militron sits down and Mack tags in.

Mack tells Harlequin & Lupay to “SUCK IT!” and fans fire up as Mack runs in, Rick and Fin join in, “SEE YOU IN HELL!” CANNONBAL DOUBLE ENZIGURI COMBO! Mack tags Rick back in, then Mack & Fin drag Militron up to drape him in the ropes. Rick goes up top, DRAPING SWANTON BOMB! Cover, but Lupay AND Harlequin break it! Fans boo, Fin throws hands with Lupay and Mack goes after Harlequin. Rick keeps after Militron, and Arrow Club dumps all the Faces of Evil out, and then they all take aim. TRIPLE PLANCHA! “This is Awesome!” as Arrow Club stands tall. The Ducks get Militron back in and Rick tags Mack.

Fin helps Mack get Militron up in a fireman’s carry while Rick climbs up. Mack hits a ROLLING SENTON! Rick 450 SPLASHES! Mack goes up, tags Fin, and goes up to MOONSAULT! #MoreBangForYourDuck! Fin goes up, but Lupay runs in! The Ducks DOUBLE SUPERKICK him down! But they miss Harlequin grabbing Fin’s legs! Fin kicks Harlequin away, but the Militron gets up! Militron grabs Fin and TOSSES him at the Bucks! All three topple over while fans boo. Militron then aims from the corner as Arrow Club stands up, and he runs in to CLOBBER all three! Militron tags Harlequin in, Harlequin goes up, and Militron brings Fin up.

Militron suplexes Fin, for the MILIDRILL!! Harlequin leaps for the DIVING HEADBUTT! Cover, TWO?!? Fin survives and shocks everyone! Harlequin is furious and he argues with the ref. The ref defends his count was fair so Harlequin storms back up on Fin. Harlequin drags Fin up in a dragon sleeper, slashes his throat, but then The Ducks slide in. They pose with Harlequin, arms over each other’s shoulders and giving big thumbs up. Harlequin is confused, and the Ducks DOUBLE SUPERKICK! Harlequin lets Fin go, Militron storms back in but The Ducks dodge to DOUBLE SUPERKICK him!

Lupay gets on the apron, Fin SHOTGUNS Lupay off the apron and into barriers! Militron ends up outside, The Ducks coordinate and both build speed to DIVE out onto Lupay & Militron! Fin then drags Harlequin up and he has his own dragon sleeper, for BLOODY SUNDAY! And then Fin puts Harlequin in a drop zone, goes up top, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Arrow Club wins!

Winners: Arrow Club, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contenders to the HPW Trios Championships)

The Faces of Evil fail again, and now The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla & The Ducks are heading to HyruleMania! Will they shoot down the UnderWorld Order? Or will Arrow Club 4 Life fall to UWO 4 Afterlife? Speaking of…

 

The UnderWorld Order is backstage.

Ted Beedle Ossi, Hollywood ReDead and The Poe Sisters all stand around a lottery drum. ReDead says, “Well, aren’t you all lucky? Arrow Club, back in the Trios title scene, who would’ve thought? But the boys have already beaten you guys once, and they’ll do it again!” Beedle laughs and says, “That’s right! And speaking of luck, I think it’s about time we test the luck of the HPW roster! We have all the names signed to HPW in here, but only three get to have their chance at becoming a contender! Ladies, if you would!” The Poe Sisters nod, and Meg pulls on the crank handle and the drum spins around. She stops after a few times for Joelle to draw a name.

“Aveil!” Fans cheer as the Desert Flower gets another chance at gold! Meg cranks the drum again, and then Beth draws a name. “The Iron Knuckle!” Fans are a bit torn, and then Meg cranks the drum one last time for Amy to draw a name. “Master Kohga!” Well, that’s definitely a random choice. But will the Yiga Clan have a reason to celebrate tonight?

Million Rupee Championship #1 Contender’s Lottery Triple Threat: Aveil VS Iron Knuckle VS Master Kohga!

The randomly selected stars make their entrances in order and the fans sing for “AVEIL~, AVEIL AVEIL AVEIL~! AVEIL~…! AVEIL~…!” The bell rings and Kohga starts talking a lot of trash. Aveil and Knuckle go after Kohga at the same time! They CLUB away on him but Kohga throws body shots. Kohga ROCKS Knuckle, ELBOWS Aveil, but Knuckle CHOPS Kohga off his feet! Kohga staggers up, Aveil DECKS him! Kohga staggers up again, Knuckle CHOPS him back down! Kohga staggers up a third time, and Aveil DECKS him again! Knuckle snapmares Kohga to KICK him in the back! Aveil shoves Knuckle aside, to KICK Kohga in the back!

Fans cheer as Knuckle and Aveil egg each other on, and Knuckle KICKS Kohga again! Aveil nods while Kohga writhes, and then Kohga sits up, for Aveil to KICK him again! Fans cheer but Kohga stands up to shout, “STOP KICKING ME!” Knuckle and Aveil DOUBLE KICK Kohga back down! Fans fire up even more while Kohga sputters. Then Aveil victory rolls Knuckle, TWO! Knuckle is up but Aveil cradles, TWO! Aveil gets around, rolls Knuckle up, TWO! And Knuckle has the arms! RINGS OF SATURN! Aveil endures and fans rally, but Kohga stomps Knuckle down! Kohga throws forearms on Knuckle in a corner, then goes back to Aveil.

Kohga whips Aveil to ropes then DROPKICKS her down! Kohga rains down fists, but Knuckle turns Kohga around to CHOP, CHOP and ENZIGURI! Kohga tumbles out of the ring, and Knuckle stalks Aveil. Fans rally up and duel, “Iron Knuckle!” “Knuckle Sucks!” Knuckle fires forearms on Aveil in a corner, then KICKS her down! Knuckle runs, but Kohga trips him up! Kohga is on the apron, Aveil runs in but Kohga RAMS her! Kohga jumps in to JAB Aveil, and JAB, and JAB! Knuckle storms up but into an ELBOW! Kohga kicks Aveil, headlocks, BULLDOG DROPKICK COMBO! Cover on Aveil, Knuckle breaks it!

Fans rally up while all three are down. Knuckle runs up to BOOT Kohga, then CHOP him down in the corner. Fans continue to duel as Knuckle stands Kohga up. Knuckle storms up on Aveil in the opposite corner, then CHOPS her! Knuckle wrenches and whips Aveil corner to corner, but Kohga dodges and CHOPS Knuckle back! Kohga ROCKS, and CHOPS, and whips, but Knuckle reverses to ROCK Kohga! Knuckle then sends Kohga into Aveil. Kohga BOOTS, headlocks Aveil again, but Aveil powers out and Kohga runs into an URENAGE! Aveil runs up and tilt-o-whirl RANAS Knuckle to ropes!

Fans rally up for Aveil and she KICKS Knuckle! And KICKS! Knuckle is in a corner, Aveil ROCKS him! Aveil runs corner to corner to JUMP CLOTHESLINE on Kohga! Aveil goes back for Knuckle, but Knuckle catches her to CORNER BELLY2BELLY! Fans fire up while all three are down! Knuckle rises, storms up on Aveil, and bumps her off buckles. Knuckle digs his boots in, then scrubs her face. Knuckle goes side to side, but Kohga DROPKICKS Knuckle out of the ring! Fans are torn as Kohga then runs to WRECK Knuckle with a dropkick! Kohga goes up to YIGA PRESS SAULT! Direct hit, and fans fire up for “H P DUB! H P DUB!”

Kohga CLUBS Knuckle, stands him up to throw forearms, but Aveil springboards, TOP ROPE ASAI MOONSAULT! Direct hit on both opponents and the fans are thunderously losing their minds! All three are down by the ramp, and Aveil roars as she stands! The fans fire up with her and she hobbles back to put Knuckle in the ring. Cover, TWO! Knuckle’s tough but Aveil stalks him to ropes. Aveil whips but Knuckle blocks! Knuckle shoves Aveil, things speed up as Aveil hurdles, drops then DROPKICKS! Cover, TWO! Knuckle’s still tougher than that, Kohga crawls into the ring but Aveil stands Knuckle up for forearms.

Aveil fires off in the corner, but Kohga CLUBS Aveil. Kohga CHOPS Aveil, fans are dueling with “AVEIL~, AVEIL AVEIL AVEIL~!” and “Let’s Go, Kohga!” Kohga whips Aveil corner to corner, ROCKS Knuckle with a forearm, then whips Knuckle corner to corner. Knuckle reverses, Kohga MONKEY FLIPS Aveil, but she uses that to RANA Knuckle away! The fans are thunderous and Kohga can’t even! Fans are again cheering “H P DUB! H P DUB!” as Aveil runs up on Kohga. Kohga gets around, O’Conner Roll, TWO! Aveil runs up, but Kohga TOSSES her up and out! Aveil hits the floor hard while fans now duel, “Let’s Go, Kohga!” “Iron Knuckle!”

Kohga runs up on Knuckle, to KNEE him to a dropkick! Kohga SLAPS Knuckle, SLAPS him again, and SLAPS again! Kohga ROCKS Knuckle, but Knuckle fires palm strike after palm strike, knee after knee! Knuckle runs, Kohga gets around, O’Conner Roll! TWO into the REBONACK CLUTCH!! Kohga is caught and fans are thunderous, but Aveil is up top! SKY TWISTER!! Fans are electric with all three stars down! Aveil pushes Knuckle over to a cover, TWO!! Aveil goes to cover Kohga, TWO!! Aveil grows frustrated, but she hauls Kohga up. Kohga YANKS Aveil into buckles! Aveil flops out of the ring and Kohga goes to Knuckle.

Kohga drags Knuckle up, throws knees, then hits the COMPLETE SHOT! Kohga points to the corner, climbs a corner, but Aveil CLUBS him on the back! Aveil puts Kohga in a Tree of Woe to KICK! KICK! And KICK! Knuckle runs in to back body block Aveil, sandwiching her against Kohga! And then PELE! Aveil falls over, and now Knuckle stands on Kohga’s face! Knuckle runs side to side to BOOT WASH Kohga while he’s upside-down!! Knuckle pulls Kohga out of the Tree, then goes to find Aveil. “This is Awesome!” as Knuckle JABS! JABS! And JABS! Knuckle whips, Aveil reverses, but jumps into an atomic drop!

Knuckle runs to SHOTGUN BOOT! And then SENTON! Cover, TWO!! Aveil survives and the fans are all fired up! Knuckle KNEES Kohga, and again, and- Kohga blocks, to fireman’s carry!? And DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Kohga crawls to drag Knuckle into a cover, but Aveil breaks it!! Fans are thunderous and dueling between all three as Aveil CHOPS Kohga! Kohga blocks the suplex! Kohga throws hands, suplexes, but Aveil slips free to the apron. Kohga ELBOWS Aveil down, PLANCHAS, but Aveil moves! Aveil goes up the apron to MOONSAULT, but Kohga moves! Kohga ELBOWS, Aveil CHOPS, and the two start throwing hands!

Knuckle TORNILLOS?!? Fans are losing their minds again seeing a man that big even attempt that! Knuckle stands over both Aveil and Kohga and roars! Knuckle drags Kohga up and into the ring, has him in a corner, and hauls him up top! Knuckle tucks Kohga, but Kohga CLAWS the eyes! The ref reprimands but that’s all he can do, but then Aveil CLUBS Kohga again. Aveil climbs up, the two brawl up there, but Knuckle joins in!? Knuckle has them both, DOUBLE BACK DROP OFF THE TOP!! The fans lose their minds again, then again thank “H P DUB! H P DUB!” for this one! Beedle & ReDead are watching backstage, even they like how this is going!

Knuckle drags Aveil up, throws a haymaker, a JAB, but Aveil hits back! They trade forearms, Aveil gest the edge with fast shots high and low, all sides! Knuckle fires those palm strikes! Aveil ducks the backhand, but Knuckle ducks the roundhouse! Knuckle waistlocks to GERMAN SUPLEX! And then Knuckle drags Aveil up to put her up top in the corner! A tuck and lift, MUSCLE BUSTER!! But Knuckle won’t end it there, he sits Aveil up. Kohga runs in, armed with a chair! But Knuckle scoops him for the SNAP POWERSLAM! Knuckle picks up the chair, the ref tells him not to but Knuckle says shut up! Kohga ENZIGURIS Knuckle!

Kohga crawls around, but Knuckle rolls out of the ring. Kohga goes back for Aveil, throws forearms, but so does Aveil! They go back and forth, the fans rally up with each shot, and Aveil gets the edge! Kohga shoots around, waistlocks, Aveil elbows free to run, into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Kohga is frustrated but the fans are loving this! Kohga drags Aveil up, clinches, URENAGE! Kohga goes to a corner, climbs up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Cover, KNUCKLE BREAKS IT! Knuckle KICKS and KICKS and KICKS Kohga! But then Kohga blocks, JAWBREAKERS, and snapmares to dragon sleeper!

Kohga calls for the shot, ROLLING CUTTER!! But again, Knuckle flops out of the ring! Kohga can’t believe it, the fans rally up for Aveil, but Kohga ROCKS her first! And again! And again! Kohga whips, Aveil KICKS back! Aveil springboards, QUEBRADA DDT! Cover, TWO!! Kohga survives and Aveil grows frustrated. Knuckle flounders by the apron, Aveil goes up top, and fans are thunderous again. Kohga SHORYUKENS! Kohga climbs up after Aveil, but Aveil throws body shots. Kohga gives them back, stands Aveil up, SUPER DUPER PLEX!! But he can’t make the cover! Knuckle crawls in as fans rally, and Knuckle covers Kohga! TWO!

Knuckle covers Aveil, TWO!! Knuckle goes back to Kohga, to hoist him up and POWERBOMB! High stack, TWO, into an STF!! Kohga flails, reaches out, but the ropes will only help so much in a Triple Threat! Kohga still crawls around, drags Knuckle along with him, ROPEBREAK! Knuckle holds on, the ref shouts this won’t win anything, so Knuckle lets off in frustration. Knuckle drags Kohga up, HEADBUTTS him, then JABS! And CHOPS! Kohga falls, Knuckle goes back to Aveil to UPPERCUT! And UPPERCUT! And UPPERCUT! Aveil PELES! And torture racks?! Aveil thrashes for the rack stretch, then TOWER HACKER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!!

Fans fire up seeing Aveil pull out some power game, but Kohga DECKS her! “This is Awesome!” as Kohga scoop SLAMS Aveil onto Knuckle! Kohga suplexes Aveil, but Aveil slips free to waistlock. Kohga throws elbows, runs, but Aveil gets around, sunset flip, deadlift into hooking the arms, STYLES CLASH!!! Cover, KNUCKLE BREAKS IT!! Fans are losing their minds again, Knuckle TOSSES Aveil out. Knuckle drags Kohga up, JABS, whips, but Kohga holds ropes. Knuckle runs in, Kohga TOSSES him out! Kohga steadies himself, fans rally up, and Aveil returns. Kohga storms up on her to ROCK her! Aveil ROCKS Kohga back!

The haymakers go back and forth, faster and faster! Aveil gets the edge, fires off a strike fest, but Kohga pokes her in the eyes! Kohga ROCKS, whips, and KNEES, to then underhook, but Aviel fights it! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, AVEIL WINS!!

Winner: Aveil, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the Million Rupee Championship)

This was a match worth a million rupees all to get a shot at the Million Rupee Champion! If Aveil was able to pull this out in a Triple Threat, will ReDead not have a chance at HyruleMania?

 

HyruleMania Challengers Appetizer Trios Match: Link, Igos du Ikana & ??? VS The Dark Forces!

The Hero of Hyrule will again challenge for the HPW Triforce Championship, and the Ruler of Ruin wants the HPW Termina Championship back. However, they need a third partner for this to be a proper trios match. The challenger to the HPW Goddess Champion is to join them, but who is it?

By virtue of the Dark Forces being the opponents, it can’t be Cia. She, Volga & Wizzro make their entrance, followed by Igos and then Link. There’s a drumroll as we all wait on Midna’s next challenger. It’s RUTO! Fans go wild for the Zora Queen, will she and her fellow contenders be rolling into HyruleMania?

The trios sort out, and it’s ladies first as Ruto and Cia start. Fans sing “Heeeey, Ruto! Hoo, hah! I wanna kno-oOo-ooh-oh! Will you be my girl?” Ruto circles with Cia as the singing continues, and the two tie up. They’re in a deadlock, but Ruto uses her height for leverage. She powers Cia to ropes, referee Maron Ron Ron calls for the break, and Ruto lets off with a smug smirk. The two reset, circle again and tie up. Ruto again powers Cia to ropes, but Cia turns it around. Ruto calls for the break and Maron has Cia back off. Ruto pie faces Cia, then uses the ropes for defense! Fans are a bit torn but Maron keeps Cia back.

Ruto gets out of the ropes and resets with Cia. They circle again, tie up, and Ruto headlocks. Ruto grinds the hold, but Cia throws body shots. Cia powers up but can’t power out as Ruto holds tight. Ruto grinds Cia to the mat, but Cia rolls her to a cover. ONE, Ruto holds onto the headlock, but Cia fights up. Fans rally, Cia throws body shots, and Cia powers out, only for Ruto to run her over on the return. Ruto smirks while she looks down at Cia, then runs. Cia stays low, then hurdles, then CALF KICKS! Down goes Ruto and Cia hurries to cover, TWO! Cia keeps on Ruto with an armlock, and she wrenches to a wristlock.

Cia tags Volga and he takes the handoff to wrench and wristlock again, and then again. Ruto reaches out for ropes, but Volga keeps her away by putting pressure on the wristlock. Ruto rolls, spins, gets as leg and trips Volga to have a toehold. Volga chinbars in return but Ruto pulls on the leg more. Volga crawls back and reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Ruto holds on as Maron counts, but lets off at 4. Igos tags himself in and Ruto is upset. Fans rally up while Volga stands and circles with Igos. They feel things out, then Volga kicks low. Volga throws Igos down by his head, then stomps away on him! Volga drags Igos up to bump him off buckles in an open corner.

Volga stomps a mudhole, Maron counts, but Volga digs his boots in. Maron counts more, Volga lets off, only to ram his shoulder in over and over. Volga throws body shots, Maron counts and Volga lets off to argue with her. Volga storms up on Igos but Igos knees low! Igos throws hands on Volga now, as well as kicks! Igos whips and elbow Volga down! Volga bails out but Igos goes out the side, and he fires off on Volga more! Igos bumps Volga off the apron then brings him around to throw haymakers. Volga waistlocks but Igos RAMS him back into a post! Igos throws hands, kicks, but Volga dodges and Igos kicks post!

Igos hobbles, Volga SMACKS him off the railing! Volga puts Igos back in the ring, keeps on the bad leg, and he tags in Wizzro. Wizzro stomps Igos, but Igos eggs him on! Wizzro stomps and kicks but Igos blocks one, stands up, then sweeps the other leg! Fans fire up as Igos now KICKS and KICKS and KICKS away on Wizzro! Fans fire up while Wizzro wobbles, and then Igos QUESTION MARK KICKS! Cover, TWO! Igos drags Wizzro up, wrenches, and brings him over, but Ruto snipes the tag from Link. Fans cheer as Ruto struts around, and then she kicks Wizzro low. Ruto wrenches, whips, but Wizzro reverses, and Cia gets a cheap shot in!

Fans boo but Cia gets away before Ruto can hit back. Wizzro then runs up to O’Conner Roll, TWO! Wizzro rebounds, things speed up, Ruto hurdles, and hurdles, and DROPKICKS Wizzro down! Fans cheer as Ruto cheers herself on, but Cia sneaks in to hook her up in a SIDE LEG SWEEP! Maron reprimands but Cia slips away and cheers herself, to which fans boo. Wizzro staggers to his feet, tags Volga back in, and Volga clamps a chinlock onto Ruto. Fans rally as Ruto endures. Ruto fights to her feet, throws body shots, whips Volga to ropes, but Volga runs her over! Tag to Cia and Cia wheelbarrows with Volga for an assisted LEG DROP! Float to a cover, TWO!

Cia clamps onto Ruto with an armlock but the fans rally up again. Ruto endures, fights up, reaches out for her corner, but Cia wrenches and whips. Ruto uses that to BLAST Wizzro off the corner! Ruto ROCKS Volga, Cia runs in but Ruto dodges and Cia hits buckles! Ruto hurries while Volga tags in, hot tag to Link! Fans fire up as Link rallies on Volga! Link ROCKS, CHOPS and ROCKS Volga again. Link whips, Volga reverses but Link ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Volga! Wizzro gets up, Link SUPERKICKS him down! Volga is back up, Link kicks him, suplexes, FALCON ARROW! Link hurries to a corner and goes up.

Cia distracts Link, but Ruto runs up to YANK Cia down! Ruto clinches Cia for a BELLY2BELLY to the floor! Link MOONSAULTS, but has to roll through as Volga moves! Volga runs in to SLINGBLADE! Volga fires up but the fans boo, and Volga waits on Link. Link staggers up, Volga kicks low and reels Link in. Volga suplexes, but Link slips free! Link waistlocks, Volga throws elbows then switches. GERMAN SUPLEX, but Link lands on his feet! SUPERKICK! HOOK SHOT! Link has the wrists, LIGHT ARROW! Cover, Wizzro breaks it! Igos storms up to fire off the IKANA RUSH! Wizzro staggers up, into the ELEGY OF EMPTINESS!

Igos gets Wizzro out of the ring, and Link aims at Volga. Volga sits up in a daze, into the MASTER SWORD! Cover, Link’s team wins!

Winners: Link, Igos du Ikana & Ruto, by pinfall

The contenders take the win and are rolling towards HyruleMania! Will each one win the titles they are after? Or will Kage, Ganon and Midna all be too much even for these hungry challengers?

 

HPW Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: Yunobo VS Dinolfos VS Thunderbird VS Grim Creeper VS Sharky Shipwreck VS Kevin Gibdo VS Zelda!

Four of this year’s Dark Horses, a TCW legend, the Menacing Mummy and the Princess of Hyrule all step into the ring, and that’s no joke! HyruleMania and the Twilight Princess await six of these stars, meaning the LOSER is the odd one out! Who has the worst luck and misses out on the Celebration of Greatness?

The bell rings and Dinolfos goes right after Yunobo! The grudge from Dark Horse Stampede remains! Thunderbird DROPKICKS Kevin, Zelda waistlocks Thunderbird but he resists the lift. Sharky and Creeper are outside the ring to look under the ring. No disqualifications and no count outs, so Creeper brings out a chair, while Sharky brings out a kendo stick! Creeper and Sharky see each other and storm up with their weapons. Creeper swings, misses, and Sharky SMACKS Creeper! And SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS! The fans fire up, and Sharky uses the kendo stick to CHOKE Creeper! Then Sharky hits a SIDE LEG SWEEP to the floor!

Dinolfos HAMMERS away on Yunobo in a corner, then he lets off to run corner to corner. But Kevin gets in his way to choke grip! Dinolfos breaks free, choke grips in return, but Kevin breaks free. Dinolfos ROCKS Kevin with a haymaker, but then Yunobo runs in to CLOBBER Dinolfos! Kevin BOOTS Yunobo! Zelda headlocks Thunderbird, Thunderbird slips out the back to headlock Zelda. Zelda powers out, Thunderbird goes up and backflips over from the corner, but he turns around into Kevin’s grip! CHOKE- NO, Thunderbird flips free! And ENZIGURIS! Kevin stays up, Zelda clamps onto Thunderbird for a chicken wing!

Thunderbird fights off the crossface to switch with Zelda, and he shoves her at Kevin. Kevin BOOTS Zelda into Thunderbird’s GERMAN SUPLEX! Zelda flops out of the ring, Sharky rushes in to kendo stick HEADSHOT Thunderbird! Kevin ROCKS Sharky, but Sharky comes back to SMACK him in the stomach! And SMACK him on the back! Dinolfos brings Yunobo out of the ring to RAM him into railing! Dinolfos throws hands, then whips Yunobo into more railing! Creeper drags Zelda up to whip, but she reverses and sends Creeper into railing, too! Kevin blocks a kendo stick strike, and he yanks the kendo stick away!

Kevin swings but Sharky ducks and gets around to waistlock. Sharky pushes Kevin to ropes but Kevin bucks the O’Conner. Dinolfos rushes in to RAM Kevin! Kevin rebounds to RAM Dinolfos! Dinolfos rebounds, and they RAM shoulders again! Neither big man backs down, Thunderbird springboards in, but they both catch him in choke grips! Kevin and Dinolfos look at each other, and they work together to DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM Thunderbird! Fans fire up, and then Dinolfos sucker punches Kevin! Yunobo’s back and he CLOBBERS Dinolfos again! Yunobo drags Dinolfos out this time, and sends him into railing!

Yunobo runs in to CANNONBALL Dinolfos against the railing! But then Creeper runs up to DROPKICK Yunobo down! Sharky drags Kevin up, he and Zelda mug him, but Kevin shoves Zelda away and picks Sharky up. Kevin RAMS Sharky into a corner! Creeper gets in the ring, he stomps Zelda to another corner. Creeper digs his boots in to choke her, then lets off to SWINGING DROPKICK! Creeper drags Zelda to a cover, TWO! Kevin throws body shots on Sharky, then ROCKS him with a right. Kevin scoops Sharky to give him SNAKE EYES off the buckles! Kevin then runs the ropes and BOOTS Sharky down!

Creeper chinlocks Zelda but Kevin clamps onto his head! Kevin has a VICEGRIP and Creeper lets go of Zelda to kick and flail! Kevin then TOSSES Creeper to a corner! Kevin fires off fast hands from all sides, then ROCKS him! Kevin scoops Creeper but Creeper slips free to dropkick a leg out! Then Creeper BASEMENT DDTS Kevin down! Creeper drags Kevin to a cover, but Thunderbird SPLASHES in outta nowhere! Fans fire up as Thunderbird fires off a strike fest! Thunderbird tops it off with a ROLLING ELBOW, but then Creeper BACKHANDS! Thunderbird PELES! Yunobo returns to SPLASH them both! Double cover, TWO!!

Fans fire up as Yunobo hurries to haul Thunderbird up. Yunobo whips him to ropes but Thunderbird goes up and over! Thunderbird clinches, but Yunobo is too big for him to lift! Yunobo HEADBUTTS Thunderbird, then reels him in for a GORON DROP! Cover, TWO! Meanwhile, Sharky’s been up to something on the outside. He’s put a bunch of chairs together in a square, maybe more a rectangle, and he then brings out a board with barbed wire on it!? When did that get there?! The fans fire up again and Sharky puts the board onto the chairs, making it a makeshift table! But then Creeper goes after him!

Kevin stalks Yunobo with his hand at the ready. But Dinolfos chicken wings Kevin! DODON- NO, Kevin fights the lift! A quick picture in picture as Creeper whips but Sharky reverses, sending Creeper into steel steps, and Kevin RAMS Dinolfos into the corner! Yunobo runs in to SPLASH them both! Yunobo hoists them both up top, and then fireman’s carries them both!! But Dinolfos slips free! Dinolfos SPEARS Yunobo down, making him GORON DROP Kevin! Dinolfos roars, fans are torn, but Sharky SMACKS Dinolfos right on the head!! The chair takes more damage! Fans chant “YOU EFFED UP! YOU EFFED UP!” as Dinolfos glares at Sharky.

Dinolfos reels Sharky in, pops him right up, SKY HIGH BOMB! Cover, but Zelda AND Thunderbird dropkick Dinolfos! Fans are thunderous as Zelda and Thunderbird now stare down! Zelda KICKS Thunderbird’s leg, but Thunderbird KICKS back! Thunderbird throws hands but Zelda bobs ‘n’ weaves. Zelda KICKS a leg, front kicks, SOBATS, and ENZI- NO, Thunderbird ducks, no Bolero of Fire! Thunderbird waistlocks, Zelda fights the lift, standing switches, but Thunderbird victory rolls! Only for Zelda to sit on the cover! TWO, they both scramble to their feet, Thunderbird swats Zelda’s roundhouse, Zelda blocks his chop!

Zelda wrenches, but Thunderbird avoids the Pele to the arm! Zelda avoids the Penalty Kick, and the standing moonsault! Zelda goes after a chicken wing but Thunderbird spins and arm-drags Zelda down! Thunderbird has the armlock, Zelda reaches up for headscissors, and RANAS, but Thunderbird handstands and walks through it! Thunderbird then handsprings and CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Fans are thunderous again while Thunderbird is shocked! Thunderbird thinks of what to do, and he drags Zelda to a drop zone. Thunderbird goes up a corner, but Dinolfos runs in to STEP-UP KNEE!

Dinolfos then trophy lifts Thunderbird off the corner, and he’s aiming for outside! For the thing Sharky constructed! But Thunderbird flails and fights free! Thunderbird dropkicks Dinolfos but Dinolfos stays up! Thunderbird runs in, but Dinolfos puts him on the apron! Dinolfos swings but Thunderbird blocks to GAMANGIRI! Thunderbird reels Dinolfos in, and now he aims for the insane construct! But Dinolfos fights off the suplex! Dinolfos ROCKS Thunderbird and Thunderbird tumbles off the apron. Yunobo’s on the apron, he slingshots up and in to GERMAN SUPLEX Dinolfos away! Yunobo fires up while fans are torn.

Yunobo storms up on Dinolfos, throws boxing elbows, then ROCKS Dinolfos! Yunobo reels Dinolfos in, but Dinolfos fights the back suplex with elbows. Dinolfos UPPERCUTS, and UPPERCUTS, and UPPERCUTS Yunobo, then runs, but Yunobo yoyos in the ropes! Yunobo CLOBBERS Dinolfos with a full body block! Yunobo has a wild look in his eyes and fans fire up again! Yunobo waistlocks to deadlift Dinolfos! GERMAN SUPLEX! Yunobo holds on! Yunobo drags Dinolfos back up, to GERMAN SUPLEX again! Yunobo drags Dinolfos up a third time, for a third GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!!

Dinolfos survives and Yunobo is furious! Yunobo drags Dinolfos to the ropes, and he looks to the barbed wire board! Yunobo gets Dinolfos to the apron, and he fireman’s carries him! Fans fire up as Yunobo aims, but Creeper runs up to SMACK Yunobo in the legs with a chair! Dinolfos is now on the apron with Yunobo, and reels him in! Dinolfos now aims for the table! But Yunobo fights the lift! Yunobo BACK DROPS Dinolfos onto the apron! Creeper drags Dinolfos into the ring to cover, TWO!! Creeper goes after Yunobo on the apron and fires off hands! Yunobo grabs Creeper to HEADBUTT him away!

Sharky CHOP BLOCKS Yunobo! Sharky sees his creation, and he has a wild eyed grin on his face! Sharky reels Yunobo in for a Hebra Lift! But Yunobo fights that! Yunobo lifts Sharky up, to FALLING POWERBOMB through the barbed wire board!! Fans lose their minds while the ref checks both men in the wreckage! Even Creeper and Dinolfos are shocked to see what just happened! But then they turn around into choke grips from Kevin! Kevin DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS them both!! Kevin drags Creeper up, gut wrenches him, but Creeper drops down to victory roll him! TWO!! Kevin choke grips Creeper again, but Creeper LOW BLOWS him!

Creeper cradles Kevin, TWO!! Creeper BUZZSAWS Kevin! Zelda SHINING WIZARDS Kevin down! Thunderbird tightrope walks to SHOOTING STAR onto Kevin! Cover, Thunderbird wins!

Winner: Thunderbird, by pinfall; Kevin is ELIMINATED, all others advance to HyruleMania

This seven star super match ends with the Menacing Mummy being the odd one out! And while Sharky, Yunobo, Dinolfos, The Grim Creeper, and Princess Zelda also move on, it’s Thunderbird going in with the momentum! Will Thunderbird be the one to climb up Death Mountain and dethrone Midna? Or will the Twilight Princess find a way to survive into the New Year as Double Champion?


My Thoughts:

I hope this one lived up to expectations, this was another “just in time” one for me with how much stuff is going on in the real world. The seven person match of course was the trickiest, that’s a lot of moving parts to think about, even when you consider Hyrule Warriors matches are Royal Rumbles and those have way more. Does seem a shame no one in Dark Forces is getting to do anything with Kevin losing, too. Though I guess I’m not really booking The Faces of Evil all that strong. They talk a big game and then lose the big matches. I guess I’ll have to figure out what to do with those guys at some point.


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Hockey Talk- The Great Outdoors [022024]

Hockey Talk discusses the Stadium Series plus looks at the stats and standings as the Trade Deadline draws ever closer.

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Hockey Talk returns this week as Patrick and Dave offer up their thoughts on the Stadium Series and whether the outdoor games are a boon or bust for the NHL. That plus the guys look at stats and standings and mull over some important questions such as: Is the Pacific Division already decided? Is there a changing of the guard afoot in the Atlantic Division? Can Patrick’s Blues hang on and make the playoffs? Can Auston Matthews score 70 goals this year? All that plus much more here on this week’s Hockey Talk!

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #223: Of Paramount Importance

The original BWN quartet re-convenes to review some massive trailers and to discuss some world-changing news involving the MCU!

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The original four members of the Bandwagon make a rare convergence to discuss some huge trailers including Deadpool & Wolverine, X-Men ’97, Invincible (Part 2 of Season 2), Twisters, Godzilla x Kong and much more. They guys also discuss the possible merger between Paramount + and Peacock, official casting news for The Fantastic 4, and some massive news for the MCU in general,

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Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and Rey Cash as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


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