Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.21.2024

Welp, this is week two, show three of the new regime and I must say…I’m brushing up on my Morse Code for what feels like a need for an S.O.S. They tried to add some build for the Knockouts Title match on Xplosion, too bad that people who watch Xplosion either don’t need the refresher or aren’t looking for a clip show to push a TV match.

So stumbling out of the gates isn’t a good sign, but who knows…maybe something could surprise us.

.@MeanGiaMiller tried to get some answers from Rich Swann but @AJFrancis410 did the talking! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/GQTemsy0E8

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 22, 2024

Ratings:

• Rebellion Referendum: Leon Slater vs Chris Bey vs Alan Angels vs Jason Hotch vs Kevin Knight vs Jake Something: Jake wins via Into the Void – *** 1/4
• Time Splitters (Alex Shelley & Kushida) vs Grizzled Young Vets (James Drake & Zack Gibson): Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – ***
• Digital Media Championship: PCO vs Crazzy Steve (c): Steve retains via Roll-Up -*
• ASH by Elegance vs Seleziya Sparx: ASH wins via Rarefied Air – **
• TNA Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Tasha Steelz: Grace wins via Juggernaut Driver – ***

Results:

What is their fetish with putting people who can’t talk on commentary? Mustafa Ali walks out to join commentary for the opening match, which decides the number one contender.

Rebellion Referendum: Leon Slater vs Chris Bey vs Alan Angels vs Jason Hotch vs Kevin Knight vs Jake Something

Kevin Knight charges right at Jason Hotch and hits the Dive so he can talk smack to Ali on commentary. Bey, Angels and Slater decided to team up on Something to send him spilling out to the floor. Knight flies in when the teamwork breaks down, before he can start a small one on one with Slater, Skyler interferes and Hotch slides back in to wipe out Slater and then focus on Knight’s injured arm. Hotch manages to connect with the Chaos Theory German Suplex, and keeps up the focus on the arm. Alan Angels decides to involve himself aligning with Hotch to focus on Knight’s arm.

Angels and Hotch go for a Tandem Backdrop, but Knight flips back and Bey takes advantage of the situation. Stacks up the heels into the corner, Hotch runs at him and eats a Spinebuster but Angels throws a Spinning Heel Kick, Bey ducks and Alan snaps off a DDT. Angels tries to get Hotch back up, and while he’s resurrecting Hotch, Jake walks into the ring and Hotch bails. A few quick strikes, Angels tries the Angel’s Wings but Something tries to fight through it, and then Slater and Knight come in to help Angels with Jake. Angels thinks they’re on the same page, Slater and Knight Double Super Kick Angels and he powders.

Blue Thunder Bomb from Slater as he hits the ropes and eats a Pop-Up Spinebuster, but then we get into a bit of a signature spam spot as everyone runs in at different times to hit moves. Bey finishes the spam by countering Into the Void by hitting a Satellite DDT on Jake. Angels manages to push out Bey, Slater almost catches Angels in a Victory Roll for a near fall, then Knight comes in, but Slater is rolling. He’s got offense for everyone, he lays out Jake on the top corner, and then jumps the turnbuckle to hit a Corkscrew Senton on the pile of bodies on the outside.

Jake comes to and drops slater to the outside, Knight hits a big Dropkick that sends Hotch flying, Jake with a Powerbomb is close but Knight powders. Skyler jumps on the apron, Hotch tries to take advantage but Jake turns around and catches him in Into the Void for the win!

Ali was fairly worthless on commentary, he just seemed scared and flustered that Jake was even in the match, much less, winning it. 

.@DirtyDangoCurty is slightly frustrated. @JohnEBravo1st @OlegPrudius #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/lTEEAn1rSH

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 22, 2024

Why is Deaner on my screen right now? Well he’s admitting that he’s the person to blame for all of the failures. So this is either a weird face turn promo where he lost his love for professional wrestling. It’s basically the “lost his smile” line, but he’s allowing the fans to decide his fate. Is this like Twitch Plays Pokemon, Twitch gonna play at wrestler now? 

GYV berate him, tell him to quit and try to kick him out of the ring. Deaner is about to listen but he remembers what he said, so he asks the crowd if he should leave or stay. Crowd votes stay, so at least they’re playing along. Deaner goes after the GYV because the people have spoken, and then the Time Splitters music hits so they slide in.

Time Splitters (Alex Shelley & Kushida) vs Grizzled Young Vets (James Drake & Zack Gibson)

GYV manage to slow the initial Time Splitter slide in, but then Shelley and Kushida turn the tides and Kushi hits the Running Handstand Kick to knock Gibson down. Referee tries to get control to legitimately start the match.

Shelley and Drake start officially, Shelley lays into Drake with forearms, then rope run Shoulder Tackles, Arm Wringer and Kushida tags in while Drake breaks the Arm Wringer and Shelley seems to not have taken a liking to the tag. Kushida comes in, Drake tags out, then we see some even back and forth, but GYV take advantage when Drake gets a blind tag for a tandem Shoulder Block. Shelley blind tags, and we get some quick offense with the Arm Wringer/PK combo. Focus stays on Drake’s left arm as Shelley bends the elbow and stomps down. Kushida tags in, Shelley goes out, Kushi feeds Drake to Shelley and then hits the Dropkick. Drake is getting worked over on the outside.

Kushida locks in the Reverse Indian Deathlock a few times before going for the complete Muta Lock. Kushida drags Drake back to his corner, tags in Shelley and the ego comes out. Shelley eggs on Drake to hit him, and then decks him with one big right. Arm Breaker over the rope, but Drake tries to counter and Shelley just brings him down into a Stun Gun. Shelley then works on the small joint manipulation of the left arm. Contorting the arm and fingers, then laying in the knee, and tries to get the referee to end the match, but Drake fights through and manages to grab Shelley and tag out. But as soon as Gibson tags in, Shelley and Kushi throw Gibson between them for Arm Breakers and decent offense. Drake manages the blind tag after Gibson gets space, knocks down Shelley and then Poetry in Motion takes out Kushida.

Gibson psyches out Shelley on the apron, so Drake hits a Dragon Screw on Shelley and then an Tandem Knee Breaker, as Gibson then throws Shelley into the apron knee first, and hits another Knee Breaker for good measure. Gibson with submissions for the bum knee, Shelley manages to reverse the submission, Drake tries to stifle the offense, but Shelley eventually gets over to Kushida and Kushida has the head of steam. Shotei in the corner on Drake, perches him, Avalanche Frankensteiner. Hoverboard Lock attempt, but Gibson breaks it up. GYV hit an Assisted Sliced Bread on Kushida for the teammate rub ins but only 2. Shelley tags in, Neck Bridge into Cartwheel Dropkick spot. Shelley tags Kushida back in and they go for Outtatime, but Gibson breaks it up. Doomsday Device attempt from GYV, but Kushida connects on the Tanaka Punch for stop the Doomsday, Shelley takes out Gibson and Kushida wins the match with the Hoverboard Lock!

.@alexhammerstone joins @TomHannifan to talk about joining TNA and @Walking_Weapon! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/Txdw0VTev5

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 22, 2024

Digital Media Championship: PCO vs Crazzy Steve (c)

PCO’s entrance gets more and more truncated. TNA really going cheap for the French Canadian Frankenstein. 

Well it’s not surprise I didn’t really understand this match pairing, and am not really excited; so lets see what happens.

PCO wants the fans to chant for him louder and Steve pounces on him then. They roll outside, a few quick shots and bounces PCO’s face off the steps and the post. Steve gets distracted laughing and just reveling in his early advantage, so PCO fires off the post and levels Steve. PCO tries to slam into Steve on the post, but Steve moves and PCO posts himself. Back into the ring, Steve is laying in some forearms, pulls down the elbow pad and tries to dig his elbow into PCO’s eye in the corner, then drags his face across the top rope. Steve continues with body shots, but the crowd boos, and Steve hits a Back Rake, shoots PCO off the ropes, flat back bump into the Frankenstein sit up, Steve kicks him down, tries to snap the neck but PCO fires up again. Rope Hung Lung Blower from PCO, into a Middle Rope Guillotine Leg Drop to the back of Steve’s head. Steve is halfway draped onto the apron, PCO hits the Deanimator on Steve’s chest and then stands up for the crowd.

Scorpion Death Drop from PCO, and now he’s setting up the PCO-Sault. Kon walks out with weapons all over him, throws the weapons into the ring and PCO finally gets sick of Kon’s presence (not as sick as me though), Dives on Kon and starts beating the hell out of him with a trash can. PCO is looking under the ring for more chairs, and he’s pulling a Kevin Owens setting up some chair art. PCO tries to put Kon through his chair construct but Steve claws his face, Kon drops PCO back first onto 4 chairs. Throws him in the ring and Steve rolls him up for the win.

Overbooked unnecessary garbage. Kon needs to get killed off like many other former wrestlers. 

DECAY is ready for a fight with MK ULTRA! @FearHavok @WeAreRosemary @mashaslamovich @Kelly_WP #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/qILAor05Pr

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 22, 2024

Eric Young walks out to challenge Kaz to a Full Metal Mayhem match at Rebellion. That’s the long and short.

ASH by Elegance vs Seleziya Sparx

Sparx is a decently experience indie wrestler, she slaps away the “kiss this hand”, and then hits a few Knee Smashes as she runs to Iceman to clean her hand. ASH tries the Suplex, Sparx counters, but ASH drops Sparx, then goes for her Handspring Elbow, but Sparx gets the knee up.

ASH hits the Back Handspring Elbow in the corner, Rarefied Air…actually looks like a Swanton This time. Sparx was feisty, but never really had the shot to win, but it brought out more aggression and better moves from ASH. ASH wants to keep the beatdown coming, grabs a chair, perches for the Rarefied Chair, but Xia Brookside comes out to make the save.

Nic Nemeth comes out to talk about his new title match…maybe? I guess we’ll find out. Oh good The System music hits and here they all come. Moose makes a very quick and simple point, puts over Nemeth for things he’s accomplished but says he’s “never been able to beat the system”. Which…damn…ain’t that true? 

TNA Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Tasha Steelz

Looks like Tasha is wearing Wonder Woman inspired gear…I do always love her gear even if her wrestling is mediocre at best.

Grace charges, but Tasha dodges and tries a few Forearms, but nope…nope…bad idea. Grace runs her over, works her into the corner with big strikes, a few shoulder strikes and then he heavy Irish Whip plays ping pong with Tasha’s spine. Jordynne tries the Baseball Slide, but Tasha moves, hits a pump kick and then starts putting some offense together. Grace tries to turn things around with a Stalling Vertical Suplex, but after a few seconds Tasha slips down into a Neckbreaker and doesn’t really allow Jordynne a chance for a big shot.

They both slide in, but the rush of blood to her head makes Tasha a bit dizzy and slow to continue, so Jordynne does muster a few moves. Tasha tries a Gamegiri but Jordynne catches the feet, tries a Powerbomb but…it turns into a very weird like Thesz Press pinfall attempt. Tasha then tries a Dragonlilly Submission, but Jordynne rolls it into a cover to break it. Tasha is trying to stay ahead of Jordynne but holy hell when she catches Tasha its a wild and harsh Spinebuster. Tasha tries a Triangle Choke twice, but two Powerbombs breaks the hold.

Open Hand Palm Strike, perches Tasha, Kinikku Buster attempt but no, Shiranui from Tasha but no, Jordynne hits the roles but Tasha kicks the feet out from under her. Tries the Rope Hung Backstabber but Jordynne holds on, Vader Bomb misses! Shiranui from Tasha finally connects but only for 2. Jordynne powders to the apron, plays difficult to get back in and tries to just muscle over Tasha, they move to the top rope, Gamengiri from Tasha into an Avalanche Snapmare. Mickie James Bulldog attempt is blocked, Blackout is shrugged off and a Spinning Backfist rocks Tasha, Juggernaut Driver finishes her off.

Overall Score: 7/10

Well color me blue and dress me up in daisy dukes…that was a decent match from Tasha Steelz. I’m honestly surprised, and that definitely helped the overall vibe check of this episode. Did we have some good wrestling? Yes we did. Did we have an over booked shitshow match which was bad and found ways to get worse because Kon is still involved in angles? Also yes!

There was way more things to like though than to be salty about. Cons being well…KON and whatever it is they’re exactly doing with the Dango Squad. I love what he’s been doing, and when he had that really great match against Josh Alexander, I was hoping it would bring him into a mid card or tag title scene or something. But then last week just ruined that and now it seems like we’re heading towards a faction breakup. But hey, those were really the only two glaring negatives, a few too many talking spots and a charisma vacuum on commentary is a fumble…but it wasn’t that offensive. I barely noticed he existed, which says a lot, if you think about it.

Positives were the ASH character finally getting a target, while looking quicker and better in the ring, Deaner getting a weird repackage, but weird is better than trying to be evil for him. Hammerstone’s interview was entertaining, Time Splitters winning was something I didn’t expect and yeah, Jake Something gets an X Division title match, UNLESS, Ali finds a way to do a recount or take his name off the ballot or something else. I really hope Jake gets a good push this year, but I feel like Rebellion would be too early to take the belt off Ali, so some kind of political shenanigans to push it back to Slammiversary would still be a decent enough use of the politician gimmick whilst keeping Jake with momentum.

So there we have it, pretty good show. I wanted to complain, but can’t find enough to be mad at. So I put my soap box away until Xplosion.