Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/18/24)

The semifinals are here!

Published

4 months ago

March 18, 2024

Steven Mitchell

We’re just one step away from the Cup!

Cold Skull faces The Fierce Warrior, and Gene Blast faces The King of Darkness, and when the smoke clears, we will have our New Japan Cup finalists!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Boltin Oleg & Shoma Kato VS Zack Sabre Jr. & Mikey Nicholls; ZSJ & Mikey win.
Six Man Tag: El Desperado, Tomohiro Ishii & Togi Makabe VS Just5Guys; Just5Guys win.
Tanga Loa & Ryusuke Taguchi VS Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman; Loa & Taguchi win.
Six Man Tag: YOSHI-HASHI, Toru Yano & Hiroyoshi Tenzan VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
8 Man Tag: Shota Umino, El Phantasmo, Hikuleo & YOH VS The House of Torture; Shota, ELP, Leo & Yoh win.
Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; LIJ wins.
2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL; Tsuji wins and advances to the finals.
2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto; Goto wins and advances to the finals.

PLAY BY PLAY

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL w/ Dick Togo!

The Gene Blast overcame the tricks Ren Narita tried, but that’s because the House of Torture was saving all the good stuff so they could slay the Rampaging Dragon. Will the deck be even more stacked to make sure Everything is Evil’s? Or will Yota be one step away from LIJ VS LIJ at Sakura Genesis?

Well, Dick is making his way out here, but where is Evil? Oh, there he is. No tricks just yet it seems. But then Yota DIVES onto Evil! The fans fire up but Dick attacks Yota! Dick whips, Yota stops himself, and then scoops Dick for a BACKBREAKER! The fans fire up and Yota wants the bell. The ref says yes, ring the bell, and this is on the record! Yota stomps and CLUBS Evil, then whips, but Evil reverses! Yota hits railing, and then Evil whips him into more railing! Evil CHOKES Yota against the railing, Yota fights back, but the ref gets knocked aside! Evil puts Yota in so he and Dick can stomp away!

The fans boo but here comes the rest of the House already! Narita, Yujiro, Kanemaru and Jack all stomp away on Yota, but here come Bushi & Hiromu! It’s a replay of yesterday as LIJ fights off the House, but the numbers are still against them! The ref rushes in to tell everyone to stop! Evil shoves the ref out of the ring, Yota fires off on him, but Evil CLAWS Yota’s eyes! The House CHOKES LIJ, but the ref says stop! The bell rings, but what is the decision!? NO CONTEST!?

No Contest

What does this mean!? Someone has to advance, right? The finals aren’t until the 20th, how can there be a no contest? The House started this, where’re the consequences?! Yota gets up but Evil TOSSES him back out! LIJ regroups and Yota asks for a mic. Yota tells Evil that he’s sick and tired of this! They ARE gonna finish this match! The fans like the sound of that! All the refs come out, including Red Shoes, to discuss how this will be handled. For starters, they tell all the extras to get outta here! LIJ is cool with that, and Hiromu tells the House to come along. Evil says fine, and Jack, Kanemaru, Narita, Yujiro and even Dick reluctantly exit.

The announcement is officially made, and the bell rings! Yota and Evil rush in, Evil kicks low but Yota CLUBS away on Evil! Evil CLAWS the eyes! Evil kicks, runs, RAMS, but Yota rebounds to run Evil over! Then run and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Yota fires up and the fans are with him! Evil bails out but the fans rally for Yota. Evil wants Yota to stay back, then he slides in, only to slide right out! Yota runs out after Evil, but Evil kicks him! Evil RAMS Yota into the timekeeper! Abe-san and his table go flying! Evil gets the mic to tell Yota that this is what he gets! The fans boo but Evil tells them off, too! Evil stomps Yota then soaks up the heat.

Evil unties the blue buckle pad himself, then waits in the ring. The ref checks Yota and the fans rally up again. The Young Lions help Abe-san while Yota drags himself up. Yota slides in, the fans cheer, but Evil pulls on Yota’s hair! Evil wrenches the hair, then wrenches it again! And again! Evil CLUBS the hair! The ref reprimands but Evil just dusts off his hands. Evil covers, but the ref refuses to count! Evil is furious but he’s the one up to no good! The ref still says no, so Evil stands on Yota’s head. The fans rally up, Yota rises, and he grins as he winds up to ROCK Evil with a forearm! And ROCK him with another!

Yota ROCKS Evil again, but Evil whips him into the bare buckles! Yota falls and the ref reprimands about the missing buckle pad. Evil stomps Yota, covers, TWO! The fans cheer but Evil is annoyed. Evil scuffs Yota, taunts him, and drags him up. Evil CHOPS, Yota drops to his knees, but Evil stands him back up. Evil CHOPS again and Yota grits his teeth as he drops to his knees! Evil stands Yota up again, to fake the chop to CLAW the eyes! The ref reprimands, Evil lets off, and then Evil stands on Yota in a corner. The ref counts, Evil lets go of the ropes but that’s not the problem! Evil steps away, drags Yota up but claims he’s dead weight.

The ref checks, Evil stands Yota up and wrenches an arm. Evil whips Yota into a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Evil runs in again, blocks the boot, but Yota brings Evil in for the STOMP! The fans fire up while Yota rests on the mat. The fans rally up and Yota rises again. Evil’s in the corner, runs out, but into the BACKBREAKER! COMPLETE SHOT! STOMP! The fans fire up again as Yota stands back up. Yota runs, to CURB STOMP!! Yota roars and the fans fire up again! Evil flounders while Yota aims. Yota runs in, but the ref is used as a shield! Evil kicks Yota low, then uses the ref in MAGIC KILLER!

All three men are down while the fans rally up again. Evil stands, he brings Yota up, and the ref also rises. Evil whips Yota into the bare buckles, then clotheslines him in! Then FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, but Evil lets off?! Evil wants to torture Yota but it’s hard to say if Yota is still even in this. Yota opens his eyes, rises up, but Evil fireman’s carries! DARKNESS FALLS! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives, the fans fire up, but Evil is furious! Evil slashes his throat and vows to end this now! Evil drags Yota up, spins him around, but Yota fights the STO with elbows! Evil kicks low, whips again, but Yota stops from hitting buckles!

Evil runs in, Yota dodges and Evil hits the buckles! SUPERKICK!! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! We’re only ten minutes into this new match but this is on top of the madness from earlier. Evil drags Yota up, but Yota ROCKS Evil! Evil fights Yota’s fireman’s carry and CLUBS him, but both men wobble. Evil LARIATS, but Yota stays up! The fans fire up but Evil swings to LARIAT again! Yota drops to a knee, but he grins through the pain! Evil says alright, and he throws off his elbow pad. Evil runs to LARIAT! Yota grits his teeth to stay up! V-TRIGGER! Yota brings Evil in, suplexes, ORANGE CRUSH! Cover, TWO!!

Evil is still in this but the fans rally behind Yota again. Yota rises, drags Evil up, and then goes to the corner. Yota goes up and up and Evil moves the ref into the way! The ref takes the FLYING CURB STOMP!!! And now the House returns! The fans boo as Kanemaru, Dick, Yujiro, Narita & Jack all stomp away on Yota again! The fans tell them to go home, again, but these guys don’t care! They just put one out on Yota. They whip Yota to a corner, then DIck runs in to ELBOW! Kanemaru ELBOWS! Yujiro BOOTS! Jack SPLASHES! Narita ELBOWS! Then they snapmare and set Yota up! Dick climbs for the DICK CHOP!!

The fans boo but the House applauds their own dirtiness. But here come Bushi & Hiromu again! But they just get mugged again! They set Hiromu up for the DICK CHOP, while Bushi gets a JACK CHOP! The House then slithers away before a replacement ref rushes out here. Evil drags Yota up, winds up and runs, to LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous! Evil is at a loss for words, but he slashes his throat! He vows to end it for real, and he reels Yota in. EVERYTHING IS- Yota flips through!? And HEADBUTTS!! The fans fire up as Yota reels Evil in for a fireman’s carry! 70 CROSS!! Cover, TWO!!

Evil survives the swinging spinebuster and the House cheers! Yota drags himself to a corner, drags himself up with the ropes, and roars as he takes aim! Evil rises, but Yujiro distracts! Dick runs in, but gets a V-TRIGGER! The ref sees Dick, but misses the LOW BLOW! Then Evil RAMS Yota into the ref! That’s the second ref this match! Narita gets his push-up bar! The others set Yota up, but here comes SHINGO TAKAGI! The Rampaging Dragon has seen enough, and he’s still pissed from yesterday as it is! He dodges Narita to PUMPING BOMBER! Kanemaru & Yujiro kick Takagi, double whip, but he DOUBLE PUMPING BOMBERS!!

Jack gets in, but he gets ELBOW, JAB and YUKON LARIAT! Evil runs up but Takagi SWATS Evil’s lariat to JAB! Then feed to Hiromu’s SUPERKICK! Hiromu & Takagi set Evil up for Bushi’s BLACK MIST!! Evil can’t see, the PUMPING BOMBER turns him inside-out!! The fans are thunderous as LIJ helps Yota up! Red Shoes hurries out here, and Yota aims at Evil! GENE BLASTER!!! Cover, Yota wins!!!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

The House of Torture ran out of tricks, and now there is light at the end of the tournament! Will Yota do LIJ proud and bring home the Cup?

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto!

One down, one to go. Yota Tsuji has made it through, now we see who joins him in the finals! Will the Cold Skull or Fierce Warrior be the one that steps closer to former glory?

The bell rings and the fans duel between “GO-TO-O!” and “SA-NA-DA!” Red Shoes measures the levels, and it seems to slightly favor Goto. Goto and Sanada circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Goto gets some leverage to put Sanada against ropes, but he lets off slowly. Goto pats Sanada on the shoulders and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up again. It’s another deadlock, but again Goto finds a way to put Sanada on ropes. Sanada turns things around, lets off slowly, and also pats Goto on the shoulders. The fans applaud and the two reset again. They feel things out, knuckle lock, then move to a clinch.

They fight for control, Sanada starts pushing Goto towards a corner but Goto slips away. They feel things out, knuckle lock again, then break. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, Goto waistlocks, but Sanada wrenches to wristlock. Goto rolls, wrenches, wristlocks, but Sanada spins, wrenches, only for Goto to roll! Goto gets a leg to trip Sanada up, and he has a toehold. Sanada fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the leg. Sanada uses his free leg to hook Goto into an ARMBAR, but Goto clasps hands! Goto moves around, pops free, then headlocks. Sanada fights up, Goto grinds the headlock, but Sanada throws body shots.

Sanada powers up and out, but Goto runs him over! The fans rally as things speed up, and Goto counters hip toss with hip toss! Goto runs and he clotheslines Sanada up and out! The fans fire up and Goto slides out after Sanada. Goto stomps Sanada, drags him up, then CLUBS him on the neck! Sanada staggers, Goto CHOPS him, then kicks him, then CLUBS him! Goto whips but Sanada stops himself from hitting railing! Goto runs in but Sanada drop toeholds him into the railing! Goto goes down in a heap, but Sanada opens the gate. Sanada brings Goto through, then to the crowd! PILEDRIVER to the bare floor!

The fans are stunned but Red Shoes reprimands. Sanada leaves Goto behind and slides into the ring. The fans rally for Goto as the ring count begins. Goto crawls at 5 of 20, finds his way to ringside at 10, but still hobbles and crawls. He stands at 17 to slide in! The fans cheer, but Sanada stomps Goto. Sanada drags Goto up, CLUBS him on the neck, then brings him back up to CLUB him again. Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Sanada eggs Goto on so Goto CHOPS again! Goto whips, Sanada reverses to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Sanada keeps cool and sits Goto up into a chinlock. Goto endures and the fans rally again.

Goto kicks forward, reaches out, but Sanada cranks on the hold! Goto keeps fighting, and has the ROPEBREAK! Sanada lets go cleanly, but then he stomps Goto while he’s down. Sanada then stands Goto up to CLUB him on the neck. Goto CHOPS in return! And CHOPS, and CHOPS, and has Sanada in a corner! Goto CHOPS again, then whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, but Sanada BOOTS first! Sanada runs, Goto follows, and Goto LARIATS Sanada down! The fans fire up and Goto rises, clutching his neck. Goto stands Sanada up to fire off forearms, then he whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, MURAMASA!

Sanada wobbles, into the SAIDO! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up while Goto grits his teeth. Goto drags Sanada up, fireman’s carries, but Sanada fights free! Sanada waistlocks, Goto throws elbows, then runs. Sanada hurdles, hurdles, and DROPKICKS! Goto tumbles out of the ring, Sanada PLANCHAS him down! The fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder and Sanada appreciates it. Sanada then goes back for Goto, brings him up and puts him in the ring. Sanada fireman’s carries but Goto throws elbows! Sanada turns around into Goto’s fireman’s carry, but then slips out into the dragon sleeper!

But Goto arm-drags free! Sanada kicks low, runs, but Goto follows! Sanada dodges this time, runs again, but Goto still follows! Sanada sidesteps this time, but Goto holds ropes to avoid the hurdle! Goto runs in, but Sanada fireman’s carries! T K O! Cover, TWO! Goto is still in this and the fans rally up! Sanada goes up the corner, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Goto moves! Sanada runs in, but into the fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! They cheer on “GO-TO-O!” but the “SA-NA-DA!” chants are still there. Red Shoes checks them both, and both men slowly rise.

The two crawl towards each other, and Goto fires a forearm! Sanada shakes his head, eggs Goto on, so Goto throws another! Goto eggs Sanada on, so Sanada fires a forearm! Goto fires a forearm back, and the two stand. Sanada UPPERCUTS! Goto comes back to forearm! Sanada UPPERCUTS again, and Goto drops back to a knee! The fans rally, Goto stands again, and he forearms! UPPERCUT, forearm, repeat! Goto growls, fires a flurry of forearms, and he ROCKS Sanada! Sanada drops to his hand and knees but Goto powers up! Goto KICKS but Sanada blocks! Goto fires more forearms, then waistlocks, but Sandaa fights free!

Sanada runs, but Goto fireman’s carries! And he throws Sanada into the dragon sleeper! But Sanada turns around and suplexes, for MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! Sanada roars as he rises up, and he aims from a corner. Sanada wants Goto to get up, and Goto sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Sanada then dragon sleepers, for the SKULL END!! Goto endures, flails, reaches out, but he’s caught in the body scissors! Goto fights around but he’s fading! The fans rally, Goto’s hand drops! Sanada lets him go to then climb! ROUNDING BODY PRESS! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up as Goto survives but Sanada storms around. Sanada drags Goto up, reels him in and clinches, but Goto slips free to shove Sanada away! Sanada forearms, ROLLING- HEADBUTT from Goto! The fans fire up and duel, and Goto drags Sanada up. But Sanada breaks free! Goto HEADBUTTS again! Sanada falls back down and Goto steadies himself. Goto roars, the fans are with him, and Goto sits Sanada up. Goto runs to PENALTY KICK! Shoutout to Shibata and the fans fire up more! Sanada grits his teeth as he sits back up but Goto takes aim! BUZZSAW! And then he hauls Sanada up to dragon sleeper! G T- BACKSLIDE COUNTER! TWO!!!

Sanada and Goto hurry up, Sanada dodges to O’Conner BRIDGE!! TWO?!!? Goto escapes and shocks everyone! Sanada resets, runs in, SHINING WIZARD!! The fans are thunderous as Sanada roars and drags Goto back up! Clinch and DEAD- NO, Goto slips around to ripcord and fireman’s carry! G T W!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Sanada survives but Goto is all fired up! The fans are thunderous as Goto dragon sleepers for G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!!

Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

Don’t call it a comeback, Goto’s been here for years! Sanada’s hopes of being IWGP World Heavyweight Champion again have been delayed, how long must he wait for another chance?

As for Goto, he’s going back to the New Japan Cup Finals for the first time since 2016, and his seventh overall! But before he can get the mic to speak, Yota makes his way back out here. Yota steps into the ring and he gets the mic first. Yota tells Goto, “In order to open the door to a new era, we must do this.” The fans applaud that, and Yota continues by asking Goto, “Are you ready?!” Yota drops the mic at Goto’s feet, and Goto stands up to speak. “I also have something I want to show you. As a three-time New Japan Cup Champion, I will show you my strength.” The fans like the sound of that!

The Fierce Warrior stares down with Gene Blast, a true generational showdown on the horizon! Will Goto return not juts to former glory, but finally ascend to top of NJPW? Or will Yota make it LIJ VS LIJ for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship?

My Thoughts:

A great semifinal round for this tournament, with quite a surprising main event. Sanada VS Goto was great stuff, and while I felt Sanada wasn’t winning the Cup, I didn’t think he’d be out this round. Yota VS Evil was rather creatively put together, too. I did not think the House would get so involved that at first it was a No Contest but then they restart under a ringside ban. Takagi making sure Yota won was good stuff, too, maybe we can get Takagi VS Evil for the NEVER Openweight Championship if they’re not gonna circle back to more Shota Umino VS House of Torture stuff.

Goto VS Yota is going to be great stuff, and Goto is clearly a top utility guy. He’s had so many New Japan Cup finals appearances, certainly among the most ever, but I don’t think he gets a fourth Cup win against Yota, one of the “new era Musketeers” that NJPW clearly loves. Yota VS Naito is definitely the title match for Sakura Genesis.

My Score: 8.9/10

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

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Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/17/24)

Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

Published

38 mins ago

July 26, 2024

Steven Mitchell

The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

Published

21 hours ago

July 25, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it.

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”.

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!