Now this is definitely a sus card, like call an Emergency Meeting level of sus. We get the Monster’s Ball hopefully blow off between Kon and PCO which is easily the worst feud of the year so far, AJ Francis in action is still questionable, and since we’re in Philly we’ll prolly see Dreamer at some point.

So there’s just a ton of things that alone would probably be lowlights, but potentially getting all of these really makes me hope that some things over perform.

.@AlexShelley313, @SuperChrisSabin and #KUSHIDA have a bond that can't be broken! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/hV4z03RqQ3

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 12, 2024

Ratings:

• Digital Media Championship: Laredo Kid vs Crazzy Steve (c): Steve retains via DQ – **
• ABC (Chris Bey & Ace Austin) vs First Class (AJ Francis & Rich Swann): Rich wins via Roll Up w/ Tights – ** 3/4
• Trent Seven w/Speedball Mike Bailey vs Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Bryan Myers: Moose wins via Lights Out – ** 1/2
• James Drake w/Zack Gibson vs Jake Something: Jake wins via Into the Void – ** 1/2
• Monster’s Ball Match: PCO vs Kon: PCO wins via PCO-Sault – ** 1/4

Results:

As soon as the show starts, Josh Alexander and Alexander Hammerstone are brawling on the ramp and through the ring. I doubt this brawl will continue through the entire show like that classic episode of iMPACT!, but this definitely has an old school TNA vibe. Dreamer comes out after most of the security is trying to restrain the two men. 

Dreamer talks down Josh, and says he has things he wants to talk to Hammer about.  Dreamer panders cause that’s all he ever does anymore, Dreamer says he’s the big reason why Hammerstone is in TNA…and I kinda believe it. Dreamer talks about how Hammer has history in the ECW Arena and its true, I was there for a few of them in MLW. Hammerstone makes Dreamer think everything’s cool and then snaps, attacks Dreamer and Torture Racks him before bailing as Josh hits the ring. 

Digital Media Championship: Laredo Kid vs Crazzy Steve (c)

Laredo Kid was supposed to get the shot at Sacrifice, but travel issues messed that up. So this is at least going to pay off the Laredo Kid interview we got a few weeks ago.

Steve goes for a few early tugs and mind games at the mask, but keeps his distance during the match when it looks like Kid might start some Lucha offense. Steve works him into a corner, fires him across and then Kid counters and finally lands a Flying Crossbody into a Flying Headscissors, tried the Arm Wringer rope acrobatics, but Steve pulls him down and Lariats the back of his head. Nice to see Steve didn’t feel like standing around with his arm up like a dweeb while someone jumped from rope to rope 6 times.

Stomps some mudholes in the corner, then Steve works him to the middle of the ring while verbally berating him. Fires him into the ropes and then just Kitchen Sinks him and starts clubbing at him. Kid tries to throw a few shots but a Russian Leg Sweep transitions to a Grounded Octopus Hold, and Kid barely is able to slip it after a short while. Driving the point of the elbow into Kid’s face, Steve is just meticulously dissecting Kid. Kid tries a quick comeback, goes for his Outside In Rolling maneuver, but Steve counters it into a DDT and then a near fall. Kid keeps trying to fight back, goes for the Uno Mas Moonsaults but Steve cuts him off on the third, Tree of Woe, Cannonball into the body as Kid crumples and Steve gets a near fall.

Steve’s Garvin Stomps, teases the neck snap, but decides to claw at the mask instead. Kid paintbrushes Steve, 10 Count Punches in the corner, and Kid keeps firing off on Steve. Kid shoves the referee, and keeps pummeling Steve and the referee disqualifies Kid.

Steve tries to attack Kid after the DQ, but Kid ducks the belt shot attempt, grabs the title himself and Steve powders. Kid poses, and we’ll probably see a rematch on the Countdown to Rebellion.

ABC (Chris Bey & Ace Austin) vs First Class (AJ Francis & Rich Swann)

Ace thinks he’s starting against Rich, but AJ tags in and goes for a Test of Strength, but Ace tries to chop down the tree and that…blows up in his face quick. AJ tags in Rich and AJ shoots Rich into Ace, and we see a bit of different offense from Rich early on. Rolling Body Scissors takes down Rich though, Ace tags in Bey and ABC gets a few tandem spots. Bey keeps control with a few short strikes, tags Ace back in and they go for a tandem move but AJ grabs Bey’s hair when he tries to hit the ropes. Bey turns around, Dives on AJ, AJ catches Bey, Ace tries to go after AJ, AJ tries to use Bey as a weapon but Ace jumps over and then blindsides AJ with a Thrust Kick. Rich does Stun Gun Ace, Bey tries to jump back in but AJ cuts him off and quickly Powerbombs him on the apron.

Rich and AJ work over Ace for a while, but then Ace is hung on the middle ropes, AJ goes for the Leg Lariat and Ace moves, AJ crotches himself…but he manages to tag in Rich early and Rich cuts off Ace’s tag attempt. Bow and Arrow submission keeps Ace reeling, stands him up, Dropkicks him down and tags back in AJ. AJ and Rich isolate Ace in their corner for a while, Assisted Big Boots, Rich lands a Splash on Ace’s Hip, AJ Scoop Slams Ace down and tries to throw him around from post to post. Ace is getting desperate, tries to make a tag, but AJ keeps him anchored. Ace with some wild strikes but AJ doesn’t let go, AJ shoots him into his corner and Ace takes out Rich. AJ charges, Ace dodges and Bulldog drives AJ to the ground and Ace finally tags out.

Bey with the hot tag, levels Rich, but AJ breaks up the pinfall attempt. Ace jumps on his shoulders, Bey tries a Crossbody and AJ catches him so he’s draped in both ABC members, lands a World’s Strongest Slam. Tennessee Whiskey from AJ as Rich blind tags in and gets ole’d into the ABC corner, Double Enzuigiris rocks Rich. AJ comes back in, goes for a Double Vertical Suplex, ABC slips it mostly, Double Roundhouse Kicks rocks AJ, Tandem Death Valley Driver takes out AJ, ABC tries the 1-2-SWEET, but Rich counters the Art of Finesse with a Neckbreaker, AJ trips Ace and Rich rolls up Ace with the tights for the win!

Joe Hendry comes out with a parody promo instead of video. Parodies the Fresh Prince theme just to insult AJ Francis calling him Fat Uncle Phil. 

Things didn't go as planned for @IamGeorgeIceman and Ash By Elegance! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/vO5XHGfF95

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 12, 2024

That…is a great promo. I shouldn’t love this ASH by Elegance as much as I do, but damn I do. 

The contract signing is kinda boring until Jordynne says she’s knows she’ll win because she’s beaten Steph, her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s wife. Then she punctuates things with the “I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch” line. So if we judge things based off of old school wrestling logic, Jordynne will lose because she made a definitive declaration. Still some of Jordynne’s best promo work, but falls into old school tropes.

The System continues to try and recruit @mashaslamovich! @TheEddieEdwards @MrsAIPAlisha @Myers_Wrestling #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/QSGeACcnwf

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 12, 2024

Maybe I should’ve learned Russian at some point. 

Part Two: Truth @TheJonGresham #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/RbV8EUdCzU

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 12, 2024

Trent Seven w/Speedball Mike Bailey vs Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Bryan Myers

Early tie up pushes to the corner and Moose tries to take the cheap shot during the Clean Break, but Trent ducks and lights up Moose with about 9 chops, but Moose lands one chop and stiffens Trent and sends him falling backwards as even the referee looks surprised. Moose uses the power game early but Trent continues the same situation he started with by dodging a charge and just hitting what feels like a dozen chops in different spots.

Eddie gets on the apron to distract Trent from trying the Birminghammer, Back Fist, Seven Star Lariat attempt but Moose blocks and hits an Uranage. Then Moose says he doesn’t belong in the same ring as him, and that fires up Trent for a big right hand and then a Seven Star Lariat. Birminghammer attempt, but Moose slips it, ducks the back fist, hits the ropes and lands the Lights Out for the win!

Bailey tries to fight off The System, but Time Machine make the save. I wonder if we’re gonna end Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin’s current time in TNA as legit babyfaces, or if there’s gonna be a wrinkle before they officially leave. 

James Drake w/Zack Gibson vs Jake Something

Drake does the dumb thing and tries to stand up and go at Jake with power, so Jake just runs him over like 4 times, Thesz Press levels Drake and he powders to the outside. Jake chases like a dummy, Gibson distracts and Suicida from Drake puts Jake on the back foot. Back in the ring, Drake tries to keep him on the ground but Jake powers up through every strike. A grounded Enzuigiri gives him a 1 count near fall, but Jake continues to be stubborn and fight up to his feet. Drake tries to grab a Headlock but gets dropped and Jake starts pinballing Drake around the ring. A full body Hip Attack gives Drake a respite, but a straight right clocks Drake.

Jake looks to end things but Zack picks the ankle and Drake takes advantage. Corner shenanigans, scarf usage from Gibson, but Deaner comes out to even the numbers, Thesz Press levels Drake, Into the Void gives Drake the win. The Deaners look like they may be getting back together…and I’m not really sure how to feel about that.

Ali comes out with “protestors” and one of them I recognize as Cheeseburger, which makes sense because he is from Trenton, NJ. So regardless of whatever he’s doing he is technically local to Philly. Ali is trying to rally the protestors to enforce limits, but Jake takes out the protestors and a combination of GYV and Ali leave Jake laying.

Monster’s Ball Match: PCO vs Kon

Pre-match prediction is hopefully PCO wins and we never see Kon again. No more of this, please God, I’d rather Tommy Dreamer do a Kelly Kelly’s Expose segment than ever see these two in a match again. 

Two Collar and Elbow tie ups and no one moves, but then they both powder to get weapons. Kon blocks Kendo Shots with a chair and then chairshots to the back give Kon a chance, but then he swings wide and the follow up punch through the chair from PCO is slow. Kon powders, PCO tries to dive but eats a trash can and Kon just cackles like a doofus. Trash can lid, cookie sheet, but PCO shakes it off and returns the cookie sheet shots. After a lid shot, PCO tries a Suplex, Kon blocks it, Knife Edge Chop trade, Kon tries his own suplex and its blocked but PCO finally snaps off his Suplex.

Kon uses a chair a few times, Kendo stick breaks over PCO’s back and then Kon just chokes him against the ropes. Kon puts the trash can over PCO’s head, wraps his right hand in a chain and punches into the trash can. Going for the cover, Kon only gets a two count and PCO tries to roll to the apron. Kon slides over a table, looks to Power Bomb PCO, but PCO back body drop counter and Kon bounces off the apron. PCO hits his Middle Rope con Hilo and then posts Kon for good measure and finds another table. PCO puts the table next to the apron and is probably setting up a De-Animator through a table spot. Yup, that’s where we’re going. Kon eats the De-Animator and the table shatters!

PCO slides him back in the ring, Kon hits a Low Blow and finds another Kendo Stick. Goes to town on PCO, doubles him over and then tries to go to the top…for what a moronic Avalanche Kendo Stick shot? Kon is like 6’6″, the concept sounds stupid and its super slow. PCO gets up, grabs the kendo stick, beats on Kon and causes him to fall backwards through the table he set up earlier. PCO sets up some Ladder Art that also feels like a De-Animator spot. Yup, but who wants to bet PCO misses this one? Kon fires after going through two tables, cuts off PCO and Iconoclasm through the Ladders! Kon tosses PCO back in, little black bag of tacks! The TNA classic.

Kon takes a handful of tacks, put them in PCO’s mouth and then goes for the Neck Snap, but PCO spits them back at Kon, Chokeslams him into the tacks. PCO dumps out more tacks, PCO into the tacks and PCO wins.

Overall Score: 5/10

This really felt like a B-Team episode. When the main event is a 10 minute Hardcore slog with PCO and dead weight…that paints enough of a picture for the show. Was Santino entertaining? Sure. Did Jordynne have a solid promo? Yup. Was it funny seeing Ali’s protestors? Yup again. But this really isn’t an episode you need to watch to understand the stories. MCMG could be a send them off as baby faces, or next week they blame Kushida for the loss against The System and we get the MCMG vs Inter…I’m not saying that name, it’s fucking stupid; Kevin Knight and Kushida at Rebellion.

Please for the love of Eric Bischoff’s hairline, just no more Kon involved in anything. The last few episodes have been alright, but tonight was definitely a massive step down. Thankfully this wasn’t the Go Home to Rebellion, so there’s still a week to save momentum.