The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 58

For the first time in HPW ThunderStruck history, Blood & Thunder will be a 4v4 battle, with title opportunities promised to the winners! Will the Dark Forces or the UnderWorld Order head for a brighter future?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Thunderbird VS Torbevito; Thunderbird wins and retains the title.
• Cia & Ganon VS Ruto & Bad Croc Scaly; Cia & Ganon win.
• Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship: Link VS Yunobo; Yunobo wins by disqualification, Link retains the title.
• Blood & Thunder: The Dark Forces VS The UnderWorld Order; The Dark Forces win and are promised future title opportunities.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

The number three is a well-known pillar of Hyrule culture, so it is fitting that the third Blood & Thunder match changes things up! The Dark Forces and the UnderWorld Order have been at odds ever since ReDead went Hollywood and sold out! But now the stakes are raised again as it will be a 4v4 match inside the double ring, double cage! Who survives to then stake their claim to championship matches? But speaking of, tonight is the night the third-generation Goron and winner of the Triforce Tournament gets to truly prove himself! Yunobo wants to bring glory and honor to his bloodline, but can he defeat the first and only THREE-TIME Triforce Champion?

Additionally, before the Dark Sorceress can have her match with the Zora Princess, a Mixed Tag Match will test the waters, so to speak! Cia teams with new business partner in the Dark Forces, the HPW Termina Champion and Gerudo Ace, GANON! However, backing up the HPW Goddess Champion is the Swamp Boss, Bad Croc Scaly! Will Arrow Club shoot down the Dark Forces’ top brass? Or will Cia be more than ready for her shot at redemption? But to kick things off, the Rito luchador who we may have seen before makes his first title defense! Who will try to knock him off his perch? HPW ThunderStruck 3 begins now!

HPW General Manager, Nicholas Foolyere, is here!

He stands on stage with a familiar podium, and with a familiar veil over familiar shapes. The King of Hyrule welcomes us all to “right here, on Thundra Plateau!” The fans cheer for that. Nick Fooly then understands that this scene looks familiar, perhaps some deja vu going on. Then without any further ado, please welcome out the HPW Trios Champions, Arrow Club’s Fin Balure & The Young Ducks! The fans are a bit torn as The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla makes his way out with Mack & Rick Quackson. They stand with Nick Fooly and he welcomes them here.

Fooly notes that being this is year five of HPW, there have been a lot of changes going on. At HyruleMania 4, The Arrow Club took their HPW Trios Championships off the UnderWorld Order in a great match. And so, why not help bring the HPW Trios Division into this great new chapter, with brand new belts? Fooly pulls the veil away and he says, “Behold! The HPW WORLD Trios Championships!”

The fans and even Arrow Club marvel at the new designs. As Fin & The Ducks turn over their old silver ‘n’ black belts for these new black ‘n’ gold ones, Fooly explains the design. The crests of the three goddesses, Din, Nayru & Farore, adorn the main plates as they also represent the trinity of power, wisdom and courage. And just as the goddesses created the foundation of the world they know, the Trios Division is a strong foundation of HPW. Arrow Club hold up the belts together and the fans cheer. What team will be the first to step to these new world champions?

HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Thunderbird VS ???

Teba or not Teba, that is the question. Did someone find a loophole in the Dark Horse Stampede to get back into the mix? Maybe. But when it comes to who climbed up a ladder to bring this title down, it was definitely this Rito luchador. But now he puts it back up on the line against whoever answers the call! Who is looking to climb Death Mountain? It’s… TORBEVITO! Arrow Club’s Zora luchador steps up, will he once again reach the summit? Or does no one fly higher than a Rito?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is the superior masked wrestler!

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally as the two circle. They feel things out, tie up, go around, and they end up on ropes. The ref counts, Torbevito lets off slowly, but Thunderbird headlocks. Thunderbird grinds the hold, Torbevito endures, and he pries at the hold. Thunderbird clamps down tighter, but then Torbevito pops out the back to hammerlock. Torbevito then shifts to a headlock and hits the takeover. Thunderbird headscissors but Torbevito shrugs that off. Torbevito pulls on the headlock but Thunderbird endures. Thunderbird rolls Torbevito to a cover, ONE, and Torbevito holds onto the headlock.

Thunderbird pushes Torbevito into the headscissors this time, but Torbevito kips free. Roles reverse as Thunderbird headlocks for the takeover but Torbevito headscissors. Thunderbird kips free, and he CHOPS Torbevito! Fans “WOO~!” and Thunderbird whips, but Torbevito reverses. Thunderbird ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA, but Torbevito handsprings through! Fans are torn while Torbevito wags his finger, but he turns around into a DROPKICK! Torbevito tumbles out of the ring and fans rally as Thunderbird builds speed! Torbevito moves but Thunderbird handsprings and backflips to superhero land!

The fans fire up while Torbevito is annoyed. Thunderbird eggs Torbevito on, Torbevito storms up to the apron, but he has the ref keep Thunderbird back. Torbevito then slingshots and somersaults to SHOTGUN Thunderbird down! Cover, TWO! Torbevito hurries to whip Thunderbird to a corner, runs in but Thunderbird slips out to the apron! Torbevito hits buckles, Thunderbird slingshots to sunset flip, but Torbevito holds ropes to stay up! The ref reprimands, Torbevito lets go and the sunset finishes, but Torbevito rolls through. Thunderbird avoids the Penalty Kick to roll Torbevito up, TWO, and both men scramble up!

Thunderbird LARIATS Torbevito down, but then Torbevito kips up! Thunderbird runs up, Torbevito ducks the lariat this time and handsprings, NEURALIZER KICK! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer but Torbevito is frustrated already. Torbevito waits on Thunderbird as he slowly rises up. Torbevito waistlocks and runs Thunderbird to a corner. Thunderbird bucks the O’Conner, but Torbevito comes back! WHIRL- NO, Thunderbird stops the DDT to then THROW Torbevito to the second ring ring! Torbevito staggers up to his feet, and then Thunderbird SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODIES! Direct hit and the fans fire up with Thunderbird!

Thunderbird drags Torbevito up, puts him back in the first ring, then goes up the corner. MOONSAULT, but Torbevito moves! Only for Thunderbird to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up again but now Thunderbird gets frustrated. Thunderbird drags Torbevito up, reels him in, but Torbevito fights the suplex. Torbevito wrenches out, KICKS Thunderbird then reels him in, but Thunderbird fights the suplex! They go back and forth as they fight for suplex control, and Torbevito gets Thunderbird up and over! And that’s just Uno Amigo as Torbevito gets back up! Another suplex, Dos Amigos! Then back up for THREE AMIGOS!

Torbevito is fired up, the fans are torn, but Torbevito goes up the corner. Torbevito aims and FROG SPLASHES, TWO!! The fans fire up as Thunderbird survives but Torbevito is furious! Torbevito pounds the mat and watches Thunderbird rise. Torbevito runs in, tilt-o-whirl, but Thunderbird stops the DDT! Thunderbird throws Torbevito back then SCREW HIGH KICKS! Cover, TWO! Thunderbird hurries to a corner and takes aim! Torbevito staggers to his feet, Thunderbird runs up, FLYING KICK! Cover, Thunderbird wins!

Winner: Thunderbird, by pinfall (still HPW Death Mountain Champion)

#WhiteLightning strikes and Thunderbird makes it through ThunderStruck! Will the reign continue from Spring into Summer?

Cia & Ganon VS Ruto & Bad Croc Scaly!

The Dark Sorceress was once Goddess Champion, and she wants to return to that former glory. The Dark Forces have been remodeled and the Gerudo Ace is leading the way, will he and Cia be victorious? Or will the Zora Princess and the Swamp Boss turn the tides and wash them all away?

The teams sort out, and it’s ladies first as Cia starts against Ruto. The fans rally up for this Goddess Championship appetizer and the two circle. The two approach, but then Ruto dodges Cia and tags out to Scaly. Ruto smirks at Cia while fans boo. Scaly calls out the Termina Champion, Ganon chuckles, but Ganon still reaches out. Cia tags Ganon in, and the fans rally as Ganon circles with Scaly. They feel things out, tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and are in a deadlock. Ganon has height but Scaly has bulk, and Scaly uses that to power Ganon back. The ref counts, Scaly lets off slowly, and he stares Ganon down. Ganon smirks and shrugs it off.

The two reset, circle again, and the fans rally up. They tie up again, and again Scaly uses his size to push Ganon back. Ganon turns it around to put Scaly on the ropes, lets off quickly, and stares Scaly down with that same smirk. Then he SLAPS Scaly! Fans fire up but Scaly’s pissed! Scaly rushes Ganon and shoves him into a corner! The ref reprimands but Scaly shouts at Ganon about thinking he’s hot stuff when he ain’t nothing! The ref counts, Scaly lets off, and the two reset again. The two tie up, Ganon headlocks but Scaly powers out. They RAM shoulders but neither budges, and the fans cheer for “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!”

Ganon eggs Scaly on, Scaly talks trash, and then Scaly runs. Scaly RAMS Ganon, “MEAT!” but Ganon stays up. Ganon smirks and pumps himself up before he runs and RAMS Scaly, “MEAT!” Scaly runs and “MEAT!” RAMS Ganon again! Ganon rebounds to “MEAT!” RAM Scaly! They RAM each other again and again, “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Ganon UPPERCUTS first! Fans boo but Ganon runs, only for Scaly to CLOBBER him! The fans fire up while Scaly roars! Scaly looms over Ganon while fans chant “This is Meaty!” Scaly sits Ganon up to CLUB him in the chest! And CLUB him again and again and again, “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!”

Ganon sputters, Scaly facelocks and deadlifts Ganon, but Ganon fights the suplex! Ganon throws body shots, wrenches out, then CHOPS Scaly! “WOO~!” And CHOPS! “WOO~!” Scaly ROCKS Ganon with a forearm! “MEAT!” And ROCKS him again, “MEAT!” Ganon CHOPS, “WOO~!” Scaly forearms, “MEAT!” They go back and forth, CHOP, “WOO~!” and forearm, “MEAT!” “WOO~! MEAT! WOO~! MEAT!” Scaly gets the edge with forearms, “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Scaly whips, Ganon reverses and SPINE- NO, Scaly fights off the spinebuster, then knees Ganon low. Scaly whips again, fireman’s carries and GORON DROPS!

The fans are torn while both men are down. Ganon and Scaly crawl for their corners, hot tags to Cia and Ruto! The fans fire up as Ruto dodges Cia and comes back to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Cia staggers to her feet, Ruto DROPKICKS her down! Ruto hurries to cover, TWO! Ruto drags Cia up and whips her to a corner. Ruto runs in, Cia dodges and comes back to ELBOW! Cia sits Ruto down, runs side to side, for a BOOT WASH! Cia drags Ruto to a cover, TWO! Ruto stays in this but Cia stays on her with a chinlock. The fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Cia!” “Let’s Go, Ruto!” Ruto endures, fights up, and she throws Cia away!

Cia comes back but Ruto gets around and waistlocks. Cia fights the lift, throws elbows, gets free, but Ruto keeps her from running. Cia uses a leg to get free, then ELBOWS Ruto. Cia runs, but Ruto drop toeholds! Ruto floats and underhooks, but Cia resists the lift. So Ruto SWINGS Cia while inside the underhooks! The fans are torn as Ruto goes around and around, then BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES into an ARMBAR! The fans duel as Cia endures! Cia reaches out, kicks around, claws at the mat, and manages the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Ruto lets go at 4, and Cia bails out. Cia shakes the arm, but Ruto pursues.

Ruto CLUBS Cia, CLUBS her again and again, then whips her into barriers! Ruto soaks up the cheers and jeers, then storms up to Cia to stomp her down. The ref starts the ring count, but Ruto brings Cia around. Ruto talks trash on Ganon, aims at the apron, but Cia blocks the apron bump. Cia elbows Ruto low, then SMACKS her off the apron! Cia pushes Ruto into the ring, but has to hurry to keep her from Scaly! Cia drags Ruto back, then drops knees on Ruto’s back! Cia ties up Ruto’s legs, then pulls her into the BOW ‘N’ ARROW! Ruto endures, pops free and covers, TWO! Ruto kicks, Cia blocks, and she KNEES Ruto in return!

Ruto wobbles, Cia reels her in and gets around, but Ruto scrambles to stop the backstabber! They end up on the ropes, the ref counts, and Cia lets off, only for Ruto to CLAW Cia’s face! The ref reprimands, Ruto fireman’s carries, but then Cia CLAWS Ruto’s face! The ref reprimands Cia now, but Cia waistlocks. They go to ropes, Cia O’Conner Rolls, TWO and Ruto rolls Cia back! TWO and Cia rolls Ruto back! TWO and Ruto rolls back again, and reaches for ropes! The ref sees that, so Ruto puts her hands up, TWO and Ruto tumbles forward! Both women get up, run in, and DOUBLE LARIAT! Both women fall and the fans fire up!

Cia and Ruto stir, crawl for their corners, kick at each other, then crawl some more, hot tags to Ganon and Scaly! The fans fire up as the two run in and DOUBLE LARIAT, but stay up! The fans fire up as both men roar, and they start throwing hands! “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Ganon gets the edge as he fires shot after shot, but then Scaly BODY BLOWS! Ganon sputters but Scaly stands him up. Scaly roars as he prepares his thumb, but Ganon grabs Scaly by the head to HEADBUTT first! Ganon reels Scaly in, underhooks, but Scaly RAMS Ganon into a corner! Scaly digs his shoulders in, lets off as the ref counts, and then whips Ganon corner to corner!

Scaly roars while the fans are torn, and he runs in, but Ganon dodges! Scaly hits buckles, staggers as Ganon goes corner to corner, KICK OF CALAMITY!! Cover, The Dark Forces win!

Winners: Cia & Ganon, by pinfall

The Gerudo Ace ends this in the blink of an eye! Will Ganon lead the Dark Forces to even more victories? Will Cia once again be Goddess Champion? Or can Arrow Club survive with these targets on their back?

Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship: Link VS Yunobo!

The Hero of Hyrule defeated his Shadow at HyruleMania 4 to truly be THE champion of Hyrule! But now, a young and determined Goron is looking to be the hero of his bloodline! Will Link be able to weather the storm? Or will he be steamrolled by this new generation?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is undisputed!

The bell rings and the fans rally up for “LINK! LINK! LINK!” Link and Yunobo take in the moment, then slowly circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Yunobo powers Link back to ropes. Referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts, Yunobo lets off slowly, and the fans applaud the sportsmanship. Link nods and the two reset. They circle again, tie up, and Link wrenches to a wristlock. Yunobo reaches out but Link keeps him from ropes. Yunobo rolls and rolls, then rolls again to get free. The fans applaud as the two stand off and reset again. They approach, feel things out, and Link gets around to waistlock. But Yunobo’s a bit too big to lift!

Yunobo elbows free, runs, but into a SUPERKICK! Yunobo wobbles but stays up, to Link’s surprise. Link SUPERKICKS again, Yunobo rebounds off ropes and he CLOBBERS Link! Fans boo, a bit to his confusion, but Yunobo lines up a shot. Link sits up, into the BASEMENT CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer as Link stays in this, but Yunobo stays on Link with a chinlock. Yunobo leans his weight on the hold while Link endures and the fans rally up. Link fights up, reaches out for ropes, but Yunobo keeps him back. Link throws body shots, then JAWBREAKERS! Yunobo staggers away and fans fire up!

Link shakes out the cobwebs and catches his breath. Link runs up on Yunobo to fire forearms, but Yunobo shoves him back. Link rolls, runs back in, but Yunobo runs him over! Fans boo more but Yunobo runs. Link stays low, then hurdles, hurdles, then DROPKICKS! Yunobo tumbles out of the ring as the fans fire up! Link builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit on Yunobo, he hits railing but stays up! Link slides back in, builds speed again, and DIVES again! Another direct hit and Yunobo hits railing, but he still stays up! Link slides in one more time and builds speed again, and DIVES! Yunobo hits railing and finally falls!

The fans fire up as Link stands and roars! Link drags Yunobo up, pushes him into the ring, and drags him into a drop zone. Link goes up the corner, ICE ARROW! Cover, TWO! Yunobo stays in this but Link stays focused. Link clamps onto Yunobo with a chinlock stretch and bends Yunobo back. Yunobo endures the knee between his shoulders while fans rally up. Yunobo fights up, pries at the chinlock, and gets it open! Yunobo arm-drags Link away, Link comes back, but into a fireman’s carry! GORON DROP! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer while Yunobo grows frustrated. Yunobo grabs Link’s legs, and he turns Link over for a SAND CRAB!

The fans rally up while Link endures and Yunobo sits deep! Link claws at the mat, crawls his way over and reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer, Yunobo lets off in frustration, and Link bails out. Yunobo storms out to the apron, takes aim, and FLYING SHOULDER TACKLES! The fans boo as Link hits the floor. Yunobo drags Link up and whips him into the steel steps! The fans boo more while Yunobo storms over to Link. Yunobo drags Link up, fireman’s carries him, and then moves the steel steps back to where they were. Yunobo goes up the steel steps, then up the corner?! The fans are going nuts as Yunobo stands on the second rope! SUPER GORON DROP!!

The fans lose their minds while both men are down! Yunobo crawls to the cover, TWO!! Link survives and the fans fire up again! Yunobo is frustrated again, and he drags Link to a corner. Yunobo storms over to the far corner, fires himself up, then runs corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Fans boo, but Yunobo isn’t done! He drags Link to the drop zone and then goes up the corner! DEATH MOUNTAIN SPLASH FLOPS! Link narrowly avoids disaster and the fans fire up again while both men are down! Sahasrahla checks both men, they’re both okay, so a standing count begins. The fans rally up, Link crawls to ropes and drags himself up.

Link stands at 6 of 10, stalks up behind Yunobo, and waistlocks. But Yunobo is too big to lift! Yunobo throws Link off, runs up, but Link sidesteps and Yunobo hits ropes, SNAP GERMAN! The fans fire up but Yunobo rolls right to his feet! Yunobo swings, Link ducks but Yunobo’s LEFT gets him from behind! Yunobo then deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up as Link stays in this, but Yunobo drags him back to a corner. Yunobo stomps a mudhole, then he runs corner to corner and comes back again! But into Link’s SUPERKICK! Yunobo staggers and wobbles, Link HOOK SHOTS!

Yunobo drops to a knee, Link runs, Yunobo ducks the shining wizard but the BOOMERANG KICK hits! Yunobo flops over and Link drags him back into the drop zone! Link goes up the corner, aims, and FIRE ARROW! But onto knees! Yunobo saves himself, then drags Link into a cradle! TWO!! The fans fire up while both men are down again! Link and Yunobo stir and the fans rally up. Yunobo stands first, storms up on Link, whips, but Link reverses to break free. Yunobo blocks the Superkick, spins Link but Link DRAGON WHIPS! Yunobo staggers to ropes, yoyos to rebound, and LARIATS Link inside-out! Both men are down and the fans fire up again!

Yunobo pounds the mat and fires back up, but the fans boo as he roars. Yunobo storms over to drag Link up, reel him in and lift, to POWERBOMB! Yunobo rolls Link back to his feet to clinch, for an URENAGE! Yunobo roars, runs, and ROLLING THUNDER! Cover, TWO, into a ghost pin! TWO!! Yunobo escapes, stands, takes a swing, but Link dodges! Link runs, but Yunobo goes the other direction, to POUNCE~!! Link is sent to ropes then flops into the second ring! Yunobo storms over after Link, drags him back to the first ring, then puts Link on the apron. Yunobo hops down to CLUB him in the chest! And CLUB him again!

Yunobo gets up on the apron, lines up a shot, and APRON SPLASHES!! Link sputters and coughs while fans lose their minds! Yunobo steps back inside, drags Link from the ropes, and then covers, TWO?!? Link survives and shocks everyone! Yunobo is furious and he stomps around in frustration! Yunobo goes to a corner, takes aim, and waits on Link to get up. Yunobo runs in, GORE GORO!! The same tackling attack his grandfather used to use! Cover, WHAT’S KAGE DOING HERE?! He CURB STOMPS Yunobo!! Sahasrahla freaks out like the rest of us but still calls for the bell!

Winner: Yunobo, by disqualification (Link is still Undisputed HPW Triforce World Champion)

The fans are going nuts, because this is the first time we’ve seen Kage in five MONTHS! Kage drags Link up, pats him on the shoulder, and says, “You’re welcome, brother.” What?! And then he goes to raise Link’s hand in victory! Link pulls away, just as confused and upset as everyone else! Link asks Kage what he’s even doing, but Kage asks, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m helping you!” What? Since when does Kage want to help Link?! Yunobo gets up, and he’s also mad! He asks why Link would cheat to win! Link says he didn’t cheat, Kage did all this on his own! Kage says Link is being ungrateful but Link tells him to shut up!

Yunobo is still mad, and he DOUBLE LARIATS them both! The fans boo but Yunobo drags Link up and fireman’s carries. But Link slips free, shoves Yunobo away, but Yunobo blocks the superkick! Only for Kage to MASTER SWORD Yunobo down! The fans are again torn, but Kage sits Yunobo back up. Kage grabs one arm and he tells Link to get the other! Link says no! Kage calls Link “brother” again, so Link SUPERKICKS him! Kage falls right over, and Link goes out to grab the championship. Link leaves both Kage and Yunobo behind, furious over how this all just went down. What is going on in Kage’s twisted mind that he’d do this as part of his return?

Blood & Thunder: The Dark Forces VS The UnderWorld Order!

Even as both factions have changed, from losing members to adding members, the feud continues and escalates! Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Wizzro and Zant battle Gomess, Death Sword, Scaldera and Hollywood ReDead himself, with a golden opportunity on the line! Will the change to the Dark Forces bring a change of fortunes? Or will the uWo bury them once and for all?

Given the uWo got themselves in this mess, they also don’t get the advantage! The Dark Forces will be adding a man first every time, but that means someone from the uWo will be the freshest in the end. For now, this match starts with Kevin and Scaldera. The door closes, the bell rings, and the clock starts as these two tie up right away. The fans rally as the two go around. Scaldera puts Kevin on ropes, Kevin pushes back and powers Scaldera into a corner. Kevin CHOKES Scaldera, and there’s no need to let off! Kevin still does let off, to then TOSS Scaldera across the ring! The fans fire up while Scaldera flounders towards the second ring.

Kevin storms after Scaldera, grabs him through No Man’s Land, but Scaldera HOTSHOTS Kevin back! Kevin staggers away, Scaldera gets back into the first ring, and he RAMS Kevin into the steel cage! Fans boo but Scaldera brings Kevin around to THROW him into steel! Kevin falls back and Scaldera roars while the fans boo more. Scaldera stomps Kevin around, eggs him on, then stomps him more. Kevin goes to ropes, Scaldera CHOKES him in return! The fans boo, Scaldera lets off with a clubbing crossface forearm! Scaldera sits Kevin up, and he BITES Kevin on the head! The fans boo more, and Scaldera lets off to soak up the heat.

Scaldera drags Kevin up, whips him into a corner, then runs in to clothesline! Scaldera then whips corner to corner, runs in again and clotheslines! The fans boo as Scaldera then reels Kevin in for a SIDEWALK SLAM! But the countdown is nearing the end! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The Dark Forces send… Volga! The Dragon Knight rushes down, slides in, and dodges Scaldera to SLINGBLADE! The fans fire up and Volga keeps moving, SLINGBLADE! Scaldera staggers up, Volga mule kicks, front kicks, then whips Scaldera to Kevin. Kevin body blows, Volga knee lifts, and Kevin BOOTS Scaldera down!

The fans fire up with The Dark Forces as they stand tall! They drag Scaldera up, throw some more hands, then put him in a corner. They both stomp mudholes into Scaldera, then Volga scrapes his boot off Scaldera’s face. The fans rally as Volga scrubs Scaldera again and again. Volga then goes side to side to BOOT WASH Scaldera into the steel! The fans cheer, Volga takes a bow, and then Kevin drags Scaldera up. Kevin fires body shots and fast hands, then UPPERCUTS Scaldera. Scaldera wobbles, Kevin scoops him, SNAKE EYES! Kevin now runs side to side and he BOOTS Scaldera back down! The fans cheer, and Kevin also takes a bow.

Scaldera sputters and crawls back for No Man’s Land, but Volga hurries right into the second ring to cut him off. Scaldera looks up and sees Volga there. Scaldera stands up and turns around, to see Kevin. Scaldera realizes he’s caught between the two! He tries to go to one side, but Volga steps in his way. Scaldera tries to go the other way, but Kevin steps in his way. And then Kevin and Volga start throwing hands! The fans cheer as Scaldera gets mugged in the very middle of the rings! Volga ROCKS Scaldera, he and Kevin coordinate and they both run, and they SANDWICH Scaldera between them! The fans cheer and they both take a bow!

But now the countdown’s back! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The UnderWorld Order sends out… Gomess! Gomess practically glides down the ramp with the help of his Keese minions, then he gets right into the ring! Volga intercepts and the two start throwing wild hands! The fans fire up, especially as Volga gets the edge! Volga whips, Gomess reverses, but Volga goes up and over in the corner! Kevin runs in but Gomess dodges! Volga runs back in but Gomess sends him into Kevin! Scaldera runs in to clothesline them both! Scaldera then sends Volga to Gomess for a back drop! Scaldera CHOKES Kevin in the corner!

Gomess stomps Volga to a corner, Volga goes into No Man’s Land, so Gomess pursues him into the second ring. Kevin pulls Scaldera’s hands away from his throat, kicks low, then bumps Scaldera off the buckles. Gomess bumps Volga off buckles, then he stomps a mudhole in. Kevin throws Scaldera into the steel! Scaldera staggers, Kevin LARIATS him down! Gomess brings Volga up, whips corner to corner, but Volga reverses! Volga runs in, forearm smash, then he goes side to side! Forearm smash again! Volga goes side to side the other way, only for Gomess to send him into steel! Volga staggers back, Gomess LARIATS him down!

Gomess and Kevin stare down from across the way. They egg each other on, and so Gomess storms into the first ring! Kevin ROCKS Gomess first! Gomess staggers back, but returns to ROCK Kevin! Kevin ROCKS Gomess again, but Gomess ROCKS Kevin back! The fans fire up as they keep going back and forth, and the countdown returns! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” Zant ushers Wizzro out, which Wizzro is surprised by, but he still hurries down to the ring. Wizzro stops before the door, and he looks under the ring! The fans fire up as Wizzro brings in a chair! Wizzro gets in, Kevin ROCKS Gomess, and Wizzro JAMS Gomess up!

Wizzro SMACKS Gomess on the back! The fans cheer, Wizzro hands the chair off to Kevin, and Kevin aims to JAM Scaldera up! And then Kevin SMACKS Scaldera on the back! Volga hobbles his way over, Kevin shoves Scaldera into a corner and stomps him down. Wizzro wedges the chair in front of Scaldera, then Volga runs in corner to corner, FULL METAL DROPKICK! The fans fire up and chant “One More Time! One More Time!” Kevin and Wizzro mug Gomess, the put him in the other corner and Volga sends the chair over. The chair is put in front of Gomess now, and Volga runs in, another FULL METAL DROPKICK!

The fans cheer while the Dark Forces OGs high-five. Volga even shows off the dent forming in the chair! That chair is tossed aside, and he stomps Gomess. Kevin throws down hands on Scaldera, and Wizzro points out the countdown! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The uWo sends… Death Sword! The wrestling reaper storms down the ramp, but he stops before going in through the doorway. Death Sword looks under the ring, and he brings out a black two-by-four, wrapped in barbed wire! What’s that written on it? “Elvira?” Well, Death Sword brings Elvira into the ring, and Wizzro runs up, but into a BOOT!

Volga turns around but Gomess anchors Volga by a foot! Volga kicks free, only for ELVIRA to hit him in the stomach! The fans go nuts, then Death Sword CLUBS Volga on the back with Elvira! Volga writhes in pain, Kevin storms up, but Gomess DROPKICKS Kevin down! And then Death Sword stands over Kevin to JAM him in the gut with Elvira! Fans boo as Death Sword leans on Elvira to dig her into Kevin! Kevin grabs at the piece of wood, even though the barbed wire is there! Kevin tries to lift Elvira away, but Scaldera drops an ax handle on his head! The fans boo while the uWo stomp away on Kevin.

Wizzro gets up, but Death Sword JAMS him with Elvira’s backside. Then Death Sword shoves Wizzro to a corner. Fans boo as Scaldera BITES Kevin’s forehead and Death Sword DIGS Elvira’s barbed wires into Wizzro’s forehead! The fans tell the uWo they’re sick as they’ve drawn blood from Kevin and Wizzro! Volga gets up and throws hands on Death Sword, but Gomess grabs him for a SLEEPER! Volga flails, Death Sword JAMS him low! Gomess hits a BIG back suplex! Death Sword then sits Volga up so he can scrape Elvira on Volga’s forehead! The fans again tell uWo they’re sick as they make Volga suffer!

The fans boo as the uWo stands over the Dark Forces, but the uWo soaks up all the heat. Zant shakes the door of the shark cage, “Let me in! LET ME IN~!” The clock is still thirty seconds away! Kevin gets up, crimson mask forming, but Gomess ROCKS him first! Kevin stays up, Gomess ROCKS him again! Kevin staggers to ropes, Volga grabs at Scaldera’s foot, but Scaldera stomps him with the other foot! Wizzro crawls into the second ring, Death Sword pursues, and the countdown is back! “Three! Two! One! BRR!” Zant is let loose and he runs as fast as he can down the ramp! Death Sword sees him, but that distracts from Wizzro grabbing the chair!

Wizzro SMACKS Death Sword in the back! The fans fire up as Zant rummages under the ring, and he brings out a chair of his own and gets in the ring! Wizzro SMACKS Death Sword again while Zant SMACKS Scaldera! And SMACKS him again, and again, and again! Zant then JAMS Gomess, SMACKS him on the back! Zant is all fired up, and the fans are actually fired up with him! But then Zant turns around to see Scaldera is quite burning with rage! Zant sheepishly smiles and apologizes, but Scaldera choke grips him! CHOKE- SUPERKICK! Volga saves Zant from the slam, and then they DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

The fans fire up and Zant is, too! Zant gets his chair back, Volga brawls with Gomess, and Zant looks for a good opening. Volga waistlocks Gomess and Zant raises the chair, but then Gomess switches! Volga says don’t and Zant just manages to hold back! Volga fights Gomess’ lift, switches, and Zant reloads, only for Gomess to kick him away! But Kevin’s up and he runs in, LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO! The fans fire up again, and Zant hurries into the second ring. Death Sword goes to a corner, Wizzro digs his chair into him! Zant sees Elvira down on the ground. He throws his chair aside to pick Elvira up.

Zant looks Elvira over, and he grins. Zant goes to No Man’s Land so he can climb up behind Death Sword on the corner! While Wizzro keeps Death Sword in place with the chair, Zant scrapes Elvira off Death Sword’s face! Now the fans tell Zant he’s the sick one! Scaldera CLOBBERS Volga, then goes to No Man’s Land! He grabs at Zant, Zant kicks Scaldera away, but that lets Death Sword shrug Zant off. Death Sword grabs Wizzro by his head and powers out of the corner! Death Sword lifts Wizzro for a HEADBUTT! Zant loses grip of Elvira as Scaldera throws hands on him. Zant hits back, the two brawl, but Death Sword CLUBS Zant from behind!

Kevin runs up to BOOT Scaldera! Kevin throws hands on Scaldera, Death Sword throws hands on Zant, but then Scaldera and Zant both HOTSHOT them away! Scaldera ELBOWS Zant and dumps him into the second ring. Gomess is up, he throws hands on Kevin. Scaldera goes after Zant in the second ring, but Zant back elbows, UPPERCUTS, then ROLLING ELBOWS! Zant grabs a chair, and he CHUCKS it right at Scaldera’s face! Death Sword DECKS Zant! Wizzro CHOP BLOCKS Death Sword! Volga throws hands on Gomess, whips, but Gomess reverses! SLING- NO, Gomess stops that, but then Volga dodges the haymaker!

Volga runs and SLINGBLADES after all! Volga takes aim, runs in, CURB STOMP! The fans then sing, “It’s the FINAL~ COUNTDOWN~! Doodoo doo doo~! Doodoo doodoo doo~! THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!!” And of course, ReDead steps out of the cage. He storms down the ramp, and he locks eyes with Kevin. But then ReDead stops halfway? And he flips the Dark Forces off?! MAJORA’s music hits?! ReDead grins and laughs as he finds a way to avoid the fight! After all, Majora is still UnderWorld Order, and this match is about Dark Forces VS UnderWorld Order. The fans boo but Majora storms his way to the ring.

Kevin glares at ReDead and Volga eggs Majora on. But Gomess LOW BLOW UPPERCUTS Volga from behind!! Kevin goes after Gomess, and Majora goes looking under the ring. Majora brings out a TABLE! The fans are torn because they love tables but hate Majora! Majora puts that table in, then keeps looking for things. Scaldera BITES Zant on the forehead! Death Sword throws hands on Wizzro, and Majora brings out a trash can! Majora storms into the ring with the can, the door closes, and the bell rings again because now, Blood & Thunder can end! Majora then SMASHES the can on Volga’s head!

Wait, Ted Beedle Ossi is also heading out here? Beedle is talking with the ring crew about something. The door’s already locked shut, what more can there be? The ring crew waves for something, and… What’re those devices being brought out? They’re sparking and crackling with electricity! They’re being attached to the four corners of the double cage! Then Beedle slips the ring crew purple Rupees! He’s paid them all off to make this match even more dangerous! Majora drags Volga up, and THROWS him at the steel! BOOM, sparks fly as Volga gets zapped! Beedle and ReDead regroup on the ramp to watch the “fireworks.”

Death Sword THROWS Wizzro at steel and BOOM, more sparks fly! The fans boo but the uWo soaks it up. Scaldera drags Zant up to throw him into another side, and BOOM! Death Sword drags Kevin up, whips, but Kevin reverses! Death Sword hits the cage and BOOM! The fans fire up while the uWo freak out! Gomess runs up on Kevin but Kevin sidesteps to send him into steel! BOOM! Scaldera ROCKS Kevin, whips, but Kevin blocks! Kevin reels Scaldera in for a SPINEBUSTER! Kevin then has Scaldera’s legs for a CATAPULT that sends Scaldera in to steel! BOOM! The fans are thunderous as Kevin now stares down Majora!

Majora and Kevin circle, then they start throwing hands! The fans fire up as Kevin gets the edge! Kevin whips, but Majora stops himself from hitting steel! Only for Kevin to choke grip! Majora CLUBS at Kevin’s arm, gets free, but Kevin BOOTS him! Majora staggers, still avoids the steel, but Volga springboards in from No Man’s Land to FLYING KNEE! Majora staggers into the steel, BOOM! Death Sword is up, and he has Elvira back! Death Sword CLOBBERS Volga, then he CLUBS Kevin in the ribs! Kevin drops to a knee, Death Sword brings Elvira up, but Kevin blocks the headshot! Even though he has to grab the barbed wire!

The fans go nuts as Kevin powers up and stands to his feet! Zant springboards up and over Kevin to BLOCKBUSTER Death Sword! Kevin has Elvira for his own now, and he CLUBS Scaldera! Kevin CLOBBERS Gomess! The fans fire up as Kevin shoves Gomess and Death Sword into the second ring. Zant joins Wizzro in that ring, Volga and Kevin have Scaldera and Majora in the first ring. The Dark Forces coordinate, and together, they throw everyone into a side of the cage! QUADRUPLE BOOM!!! Volga finds that dented trash can, and he SMASHES Majora in the head with it! Kevin gut wrenches Majora, and Volga says hold on.

Volga sets the can down underneath Kevin, then takes a chair and stands it up. Volga stands on the chair so he can jump off and help in the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER on the trash can!! Is that a shot at Arrow Club? Kevin folds Majora’s arms for the cover, Dark Forces win!!

Winners: The Dark Forces, by pinfall (promised future title opportunities)

The fans cheer while ReDead and Beedle are furious! The electrification is powered down, the door is opened, but The Dark Forces stay in the cage to celebrate a moment. Kevin gets a mic, and he looks right at ReDead as he says, “I don’t need any time to decide what title match I want, I knew the moment this match was made. ReDead, you dumb, rotten bast*rd, you should’ve fought this fight yourself to make sure your team won. Because now, I’m coming after you and that Million Rupee Championship! In WRESTLING ROULETTE!!” The fans go wild while ReDead is losing his mind!

It’ll be spin the wheel, make the deal, will ReDead regret trying to run from his past? Or is Kevin running headlong into a Dead End?

My Thoughts:

That’s right! Blood & Thunder turned into an exploding death match! I meant to do that the years before but there was never good story as to why, and I also just kept forgetting. But hooray for kicking it in this year to superficially up the violence in this truly fictional wrestling match. Also, I did my best to remember that there were two rings even for the other matches, adjusting some spots to match. But naturally, Thunderbird retains in his first title defense, and also naturally, Cia’s team wins so she has momentum going into the title match.

Link VS Yunobo was only tricky in the finish because I also wanted to bring Kage back around, since he wasn’t in the tournament and therefore gone for over four months. There’ll be some fun new wrinkles starting with this that of course lead to another Triforce title match. And while being promised future title matches would (rightfully) make you think someone from Dark Forces would want the top title, storytelling wise it makes sense to give Kevin one more shot at ReDead, upping things with a Spin the Wheel Make the Deal stipulation, which will also be a lot of fun.

On this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys take an updated look at the 2nd Round of the NHL Playoffs. The Boston Bruins were out for revenge against the Florida Panthers, but things have not gone as planned. Ditto for the Carolina Hurricanes, who sought to avenge their playoff defeat to the Rangers from 2022, only to run into a Blueshirt Buzzsaw. Meanwhile, out West, the Dallas Stars and Vancouver Canucks staked their claim to a potential Western Conference Final clash, even though their respective opponents (Colorado, and Edmonton) have all the start power.  The 2024 NHL Playoffs have had no shortage of drama and surprises, and the guys break it down for you here.

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

• Does Florida have Boston’s number?
• Can Carolina come back?
• Why has Cale Makar become the invisible man?
• Are we still sleeping on Vancouver?

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