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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (5/31/24)

The Irresistible Queen is here!

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Heavy hangs the head that wears the crown!

Nia Jax conquered them all and is now Queen of the Ring! SmackDown shall be her coronation, but will the Women’s Division bow down or revolt?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Tommaso Ciampa w/ Johnny Gargano VS Austin Theory w/ Grayson Waller; Theory wins.
  • Andrade VS Apollo Crews; Andrade wins.
  • The Street Profits VS VS The Guerrillas of Destiny; The Guerillas win.
  • Bayley & Naomi VS Chelsea Green & Piper Niven; Chelsea & Piper win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SmackDown live from the MVP Arena in Albany, New York!” The fans cheer, and Aldis says as a GM, there is no better feeling than when one of your top draft picks comes through in the clutch. Ladies and gentlemen, the superstar he is about to introduce did just that. Please welcome the 2024 Queen of the Ring, the Irresistible Force, Nia Jax! The fans are a bit torn as Nia makes her way out to the ring. The crown awaits on the pedestal, and Nia soaks up the heat from New York. Aldis congratulates her and says the floor is hers. Nia puts her crown on and then takes the mic.

The fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” but Nia just ignores that. She says, “Let’s get the facts straight. It’s a fact that I am your Queen~ of the Ring~!” Nia revels in the heat from that statement. “And it’s a fact that as Your Queen, I get a title shot at SummerSlam. So Bayley, Your Queen is commanding your presence in Her Ring, right now!” The fans boo, but then the Role Model makes her entrance and the fans cheer! Bayley has the belt on her shoulder, a mic in hand, but PIPER NIVEN coming up behind! Piper CLOBBERS Bayley, and Chelsea coaches her to keep on Bayley! Piper sends Bayley into barriers on one side of the ramp, then into barriers on the other side!

Piper puts Bayley in the ring, Bayley tries to fight back but Piper HEADBUTTS! And then SPLASHES! Nia just sighs and shrugs as Piper stands over Bayley and Chelsea holds up the belt. Piper stares Nia down, but the fans all cheer for Bayley. Chelsea has a mic to tell Nia, “Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about facing Bayley. Because by the time SummerSlam rolls around, your NEW WWE Women’s Champion is gonna be my Sweet P Best Friend, little spicy margarita, Piper Niven!” Chelsea laughs and the fans boo, but Nia says, “I don’t give a damn who the champion is, because I’m gonna A-Nia-Late her regardless.”

The Queen has spoken and she takes her leave. Will the Scottish Viper leave Bayley down and out in Glasgow? Or can Bayley survive a Clash at the Castle only to run into a wall at SummerSlam?

 

Nick Aldis returns to his office.

And after some QR madness, he sees AJ Styles is there waiting. The Phenomenal One is in a suit as he says he thought about what Aldis said last week. If there is time, he’d appreciate just addressing his future. Aldis says he can find the time, no problem. But is there something Styles wants to tell Aldis? Styles is hesitant, and says it is hard enough to do it once. So if it is okay with Aldis, maybe just let him say it in the ring tonight. Understood. Aldis will give Styles that time. Styles appreciates that. They shake hands, Styles heads out, but what could Styles have to say to the WWE Universe?

 

Bayley gets checked in the trainer’s room.

Her arm is bugging her after Piper hit her there hard, and then Naomi walks in to check on her. Naomi says those two are not getting away with this! Is Bayley good to fight? Bayley sure feels ready. The doc confirms, she is good to go. Bayley says okay, let’s do this! She’ll go get changed. Naomi says good, she’s always got Bayley’s back. Naomi will tell Aldis. Will the Role Model & The Glow mop the floor with The Hot Mess & her “spicy margarita?”

 

Tommaso Ciampa w/ Johnny Gargano VS Austin Theory w/ Grayson Waller!

DIY wants to go right after those WWE Tag Team Championships, so the Sicilian Psycho will test himself against Austin Theory Live from New York on a Friday Night! Will Ciampa be able to stake a claim to the titles? Or will Theory make sure it is A-Town Down in the Big Apple?

SmackDown returns and Theory makes his entrance, Waller by his side. The bell rings and the two tie up. They go around, Theory puts Ciampa in a corner and then gets in his face. The ref counts, Theory lets off and says all day. Ciampa shoves back, then eggs Theory on. Theory swings, Ciampa dodges and ROCKS Theory! And CHOPS! And kicks low! Ciampa whips, CLOBBERS Theory, then has him in a corner. Ciampa CHOPS, goes up, and rains down fists! The fans count along, Ciampa gets to 8 before Waller gets on the apron! Ciampa DECKS Waller, but Theory YANKIS Ciampa down! AOI SHODOU!

Ciampa writhes from the fisherman neckbreaker but Theory storms up to stand on him at the ropes. The ref counts, Theory lets off at 4, and Theory soaks up the heat. The fans rally for “D I Y! D I Y!” but Theory ELBOWS Ciampa in the corner. And ELBOWS him again! Theory throws another ELBOW, and Ciampa drops to his knees. Theory gets Ciampa up, whips him to a corner, but Ciampa BOOTS him! Ciampa ELBOWS Theory, ducks ‘n’ dodges him, then leaps, but Theory gets under! Ciampa crashes ‘n’ burns but Theory goes out to get him on the apron. DRAPING NECKBREAKER to the floor! Waller laughs while Gargano checks Ciampa, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Waller taunts the fans. Theory grinds Ciampa in a chinlock but the fans rally up. Ciampa fights up, throws body shots, but Theory RAMS him into a corner! Then ELBOWS him down! Ciampa sputters while Theory scowls and paces. Theory goes to the apron, mocks the fans and the fans boo. Theory slingshots to somersault in, but Ciampa SHOTGUNS first! The fans fire up as both men rise, and Theory staggers over. Theory swings but Ciampa counter punches! And again! And again! Ciampa CHOPS, ROCKS and repeat! Ciampa whips, Theory reverses, ducks ‘n ‘dodges, and then LARIATS!

The fans fire up, Ciampa gets Theory for a dragon sleeper, to REVERSE DDT! Cover, TWO! Waller is relieved and hangs out by the hydration station, plugging his buddy, Logan Paul. The fans rally, Ciampa gets Theory up, and he CLUBS Theory down. Ciampa drags Theory up again to CLUB him back down! Ciampa turns Theory, but Theory fights the neckbreaker! Theory wants the backslide but Ciampa fights that! Ciampa spins Theory around and underhooks, FAIRY- NO, Theory fights the lift to lift Ciampa! But Ciampa sunset flips! Theory gets free to BLINDSIDE SUPERKICK! And then ATAXIA!! Cover, TWO?!?

The fans fire up as Ciampa survives, but Theory snarls. Waller coaches Theory up and Theory says it’s time! Theory gets Ciampa up, A-TOWN- NO!! Ciampa blocks the knee smash and CHPOS! Theory fires a forearm, Ciampa ELBOWS! Theory ELBOWS back! Both men wobble, then they both BOOT! Ciampa stays up, and he brings Theory around! Theory swings, Ciampa ducks, but the ELBOW hits! But the PSYCHO KNEE comes right back! Both men are down and the fans are fired up! Theory flops out of the ring, Waller helps his guy up, but then hears Wade Barrett saying DIY’s praises. Waller talks trash on Gargano, saying he only ever held Theory back!

Waller says Theory is relevant again THANKS TO WALLER! Theory hears Waller say that, and asks if he really thinks that about him. Waller says he didn’t mean it like that, but Ciampa RAMS Theory into Waller!! Roll-up, CIAMPIA WINS!

Winner: Tommaso Ciampa, by pinfall

Waller gets up and is stunned to see what happened! Was this the Grayson Waller Effect backfiring big time? Or can A-Town Down Under regroup and be ready for a rematch?

 

Aldis meets with Blair Davenport.

The SmackDown GM welcomes her to the brand, but then Naomi walks in. Naomi apologizes for bothering him, but enough is enough. Naomi & Bayley want a match with Chelsea & Piper tonight. Blair says Naomi may not be bothering Aldis, but she’s already upset Blair. Naomi says normally, she’d introduce herself and ask who Blair is, but right now- Blair says no, she doesn’t need to ask because Blair will tell her. This is Blair Davenport. But don’t worry, Naomi will know all about her soon enough. Blair storms off, Aldis says she’s clearly not making friends. But as for the tag match, it is official! Done deal!

Naomi and Aldis shake on it, and then LA Knight walks in. He’s not interrupting, right? The Mega Star just has some things to run by Aldis. This thing with Styles, he’s not retiring, is he? Aldis says he doesn’t know. Knight says okay, we’ll all find out together. Meanwhile, Knight’s been walking around, seeing who is here, and there’s one guy he can’t seem to find. Maybe Aldis can tell Knight where Logan Paul might be. Aldis says they can talk about that. The two sit down, will the Mega Star get him a shot at The Maverick?

 

SmackDown returns and…

LA Knight exits Aldis’ office. Kayla Braxton is there to ask him what the conversation was about. Knight says she’s a rather Nosy Nelly just waiting for it. But LEMME TALK TO YA! You wanna know what they talked about? What Knight asked and what Aldis answered? Right? Right? Kayla nods but Knight keeps waiting on a verbal answer. Well, point is, she was asking, and so here’s the answer he can give: Wasn’t much to tell. The only answer Aldis had was that Logan Paul isn’t here tonight. So Knight will just talk to Kayla again next week. Knight walks off, but then returns and says WRONG! Knight’s here tonight, Albany, SmackDown, HYEAH!

And what that means is that if he isn’t getting the answer he wants, he’ll make it what he wants. Logan Paul, Knight wants that United States Championship! Oh, speaking of creeps, what does Carmelo Hayes want? Melo says what’s with Knight? Always talking but never really saying nothing. Melo doesn’t know why LA would want Knight when he could face a first round draft pick. Knight says if he was facing himself, he’d be looking in a mirror. Get it right, it’s Logan Paul he wants. Melo says the truth is, Logan is a baller, and Knight ain’t that. So while Logan leaves Knight on read, tell him this: If we’re gonna talk the talk, Knight’s the man. But if you wanna walk the walk, then Melo is HIM.

Melo leaves now, Knight says he’s trash. Will The Mega Star have to get through one massive ego before he can go after another?

 

Andrade VS Apollo Crews!

A couple of big returns collide in the Big Apple! El Idolo says it is his time, will he be ungovernable all the way to the top? Or will Apollo’s star finally shine bright?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Andrade waistlocks but Crews switches. Andrade pries free, turns around, and he suplexes, but Crews turns that around. Crew suplexes, Andrade lands out but Crews elbows free. Crews runs but into a DROPKICK, and Andrade ends up landing on Crews, too! The fans fire up while Andrade makes sure his arms are okay. Andrade gets Crews up, wrenches and hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, ONE! Crews shows he’s tougher than that but Andrade stomps him around. Andrade has the fans rallying up as he goes to a corner. Andrade climbs, but wait, Legado’s Angel Garza is making his way out here.

Angel says Andrade should be considering that offer to join up, but this distraction lets Crews DROPKICK Andrade down! Crews then goes to the apron, to ASAI MOONSAULT! Down goes Andrade and Crews fires up while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Andrade is up top. He grabs Crews by the ears, then HEADBUTTS him down! CROSSBODY! Direct hit and the fans fire up while both men are down! Crews rises, he fires forearms on Andrade but Andrade gives it back! They go back and forth, faster and faster, and the fans fire up for the scrap! Crews whips, Andrade ducks ‘n’ dodges and CLOBBERS Crews! Angel applauds and the fans cheer as Andrade kips up! Andrade has Crews in the corner, fires the fans up with “SI! SI! SI!” Andrade goes corner to corner, CIEN SHADOWS! Cover, TWO!! Crews survives and Angel says it was so close.

Andrade drags Crews up, Crews fireman’s carries but Andrade arm-drags free! Crews gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX! Crews holds on but Andrade goes to the corner. Andrade bucks the waistlock, BOOTS Crews, then goes up. Crews GAMANGIRIS first! Crews then trophy lifts Andrade, brings him out, and DROPS him! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up but Crews waits on Andrade to rise. Angel gets on the apron, Crews swipes at him! Crews goes back to Andrade, boot feint to ELBOW!! Andrade drags Crews up, underhooks, and sends THE MESSAGE! Cover, Andrade wins!

Winner: Andrade, by pinfall

Angel is all fired up, and can certainly take some credit in El Idolo’s victory. The rest of Legado walks out now, and Santos Escobar says that is what he likes to see. Andrade is uncertain about this, but he does approach The Emperor of Lucha. To then blow right past him! Santos is upset with Angel but Angel says tranquilo, he’ll work this out. Angel hurries after Andrade, will Legado be able to recruit Andrade to their side?

 

Solo Sikoa talks with the Guerrillas.

The Enforcer wants Tama Tonga & Tonga Loa to tear into the Profits tonight. Do whatever they can to take them out. Paul Heyman walks in and Solo sighs. The Wise Man says that he has been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of introspection. About how Heyman can better serve Solo while he is in charge. And with Roman Reigns as Tribal Chief, there was a lot of violence in The Bloodline, but that was to preserve the family. To preserve everything that The Bloodline was working towards. And before Roman ever said yes to an act of violence, there was a lot of counsel… from Heyman.

Heyman sees Solo is recruiting some very violent men into The Bloodline. And all Heyman sees are random acts of violence! But no strategy at all. Solo, the strategy has to be that when Roman returns, The Bloodline has Cody Rhodes in check. Solo tells Heyman, “We got Cody Rhodes in check, and he doesn’t even know it.” Heyman asks Solo this, then. All due respect, but who is “we” in this? Wait, Kevin Owens’ music hits? Solo says he has a strategy. But Heyman needs to go out there and fix this, NOW! Heyman hurries, but just what is The Wise Man to do about the Prizefighter?

The fans cheer as Kevin gets in the ring, what does Kevin have to say about everything going on? We find out, after the break.

 

Angel Garza finds Andrade backstage.

And he asks what the heck! Andrade just embarrassed Angel in front of his friends! But then CREWS attacks Angel! The refs and producers rush in but Crews tells Angel to stay out of his business! Does Angel have more to worry about than getting El Idolo on Legado’s side?

 

SmackDown returns and Kevin sits on a corner.

The fans fire up for KO as he has a mic, and he thanks them for that. But last week, he made his return to SmackDown, and went all the way to Saudi Arabia to do it to make sure that he had Randy Orton’s back. The fans cheer that! Kevin says the last few months, no the last few YEARS, Orton has had Kevin’s back. Kevin wanted to make sure that Solo and his crew weren’t gonna ruin Orton’s chances at King of the Ring. Now, Randy isn’t King of the Ring, but we all saw what happened: HE didn’t really lose. And while Randy is home recovering, Kevin does know who IS here, and that happens to be Solo and his little crew. Kevin just figured he would be here too.

But “Ladies and gentlemen,” Paul Heyman makes his way out, introduces himself, and everyone in New York knows him. Heyman says he has served as Wise Man to Your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. In his absence, Heyman serves as Wise Man for Solo & The Bloodline. The fans boo, but Heyman says it is within this capacity that Heyman comes out here tonight to talk to Kevin man to man, professional to professional, and father to father. Heyman is sure there is a mutual interest at the moment, and Heyman hopes he can serve- Paul, just get in the ring and make your point. Heyman steps inside and fans chant “We Want Roman!”

Heyman says there isn’t a person in this arena that wants Roman back more than Heyman does. And here is why: Kevin keeps calling out Solo, and Roman Reigns… Roman has great respect for Kevin. Anything Kevin went through with Roman was because of how much Roman respected and admired Kevin, and dare Heyman say, acknowledged Kevin as a true threat to the title reign. Solo has NO respect for Kevin, and is recruiting “criminals” into the Bloodline. Heyman & Roman turned down every new member of The Bloodline. They did background checks, they did NOT want “these people” in The Bloodline representing them!

These are the people that Kevin is picking a fight with! That Kevin is antagonizing! These guys aren’t even really people! They’re just bloodthirsty thugs! They don’t need a reason to take Kevin out, they’re looking for an excuse! And that is bad for WWE! Heyman likes Kevin in the WWE! The fans LOVE Kevin int he WWE! The fans cheer in agreement there. Heyman warns Kevin that if he keeps calling Solo out, Solo & The Tongans are gonna do something really bad about it. Heyman is asking, pleading, begging that Kevin backs off of this Bloodline. The fans boo but Kevin asks if Heyman is really acting like he’s here to help Kevin.

What in the last few years has made Heyman believe Kevin would ever put any trust into anything that comes out of Heyman’s mouth? Kevin is not falling for the act! Heyman really thinks Kevin doesn’t know this is all Heyman just pulling the strings? This is what Heyman does! Brock to Roman, Roman to who? Who can keep Heyman relevant? It’s Solo! Kevin ain’t falling for it. But whatever this is about, is Heyman trying to make everyone afraid? Guess what? Kevin fought The Bloodline for four YEARS, took everything they could give. They threw him off of high things, they handcuffed him to the ropes, Superkick’d him 20 times, even ran him down with a golf cart!

And yet, Kevin is still here, and is having a great time! But THAT was The Bloodline, Roman, Jimmy & Jey! Guys Kevin respects! But Solo and those two new guys? That’s just Solo and two guys Kevin doesn’t wanna know and no one wants here! So you think for a second Kevin’s gonna stop fighting them? HELL NO! He will #JustKeepFighting and do everything he can to get them out of his world, and THIS is his world! And as far as Heyman’s help, Kevin doesn’t need it, and he doesn’t want it! Heyman has a rather fowl scowl on his face. Okay, maybe Heyman isn’t trying to help Kevin, but maybe he’s trying to SAVE Kevin! Ever think of that?

Maybe, just maybe, Heyman is thinking of Kevin’s kids! Heyman met Kevin’s kids, Kevin met Heyman’s kids, and what? That Heyman can’t redeem himself in his life? How many times has Kevin redeemed himself? But oh, Heyman can’t! Not that guy! Never ever Heyman! Why won’t Kevin understand what he’s up against with these thugs!? Why is Kevin not understanding what Heyman is doing for him? Heyman is a HALL OF FAME Wise Man! But no~, don’t listen to Heyman, thinking there’s some scheme here! That there’s some grand vision for the future of Solo Sikoa taking over the entire Bloodline! Why won’t anyone ever listen to him!?

But then Heyman bumps into Kevin and the fans tell him he done messed up! Kevin sighs, Heyman apologizes, but then Kevin storms up on Heyman! Solo makes his way out here with Tama & Loa! Kevin thinks this is just what Heyman was plotting, but either way, he’s got The Bloodline staring him down! Wait, The Profits slip in from the crowd side! Dawkins & Ford have Kevin’s back, so here com Tama & Loa! The brawl is on, Kevin and Solo go out into the crowd! The Profits and the Guerrillas fight in the ring, maybe their match will start early! Dawkins DECKS Tama, Ford ROCKS Loa! The Profits get The Guerillas out of the ring, and then the Profits coordinate.

Dawkins FLIES and he takes out Tama & Loa! He even sits cross-legged and says what up! The Profits are up, they want the smoke, will they get it? We’ll see, after the break!

The Street Profits w/ B-Fab VS VS The Guerrillas of Destiny w/ Paul Heyman!

SmackDown returns and the match has already begun, as Ford RAMS into Tama in a corner again and again! The ref counts, Ford CHOPS, but Tama eggs him on! Ford CHPOS, RAMS into Tama, repeat! Tama pushes Ford, Ford stomps him, but Tama keeps pushing him! So Ford RAMS into Tama again and again! Ford brings Tama over, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Tama! Dawkins bumps Tama off buckles, tags Ford, and they get Tama up for a DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX! Ford covers, TWO! Tama is still in this but Ford drags him up. Ford whips Tama to a corner, runs up, but Tama puts Ford on the apron!

Ford ROCKS Tama, but Loa runs up! Ford KICKS Loa, but then Tama BLASTS Ford! Ford fortunately misses landing on the the hydration station, but then Tama BLASTS Dawkins! The ref is busy with Dawkins so that Loa can RAMS Ford into barriers just behind the hydration station. Loa puts Ford in, Tama throws down hands, then Tama runs to SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Tama runs to SLIDING LARIAT again! Tama tags Loa, Heyman is stressing out as Loa drags Ford up. Loa scoops Ford and carries him around, to then RAM him into the corner, then OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! Loa drags Ford back up, tag to Tama.

Loa snap suplexes Ford, Tama slingshot SENTONS! Tama KICKS Ford down, pushes him to a cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Tama pushes him to the corner. Tama fires body shots, UPPERCUTS, and lets off as the ref counts. Tama talks trash on Dawkins but Ford fights back! Tama UPPERCUTS Ford, runs, but Ford dodges! Hot tag to Dawkins! Dawkins rallies on Tama with big LARIAT after big LARIAT! Dawkins whips, Ford reverses but Dawkins hurdles and FLYING ELBOWS! The fans fire up with Dawkins and he runs corner to corner to CYCLONE SPLASH! ENZIGIRI! Cover, TWO! Dawkins stays on Tama while the fans fire up.

Tama ROCKS Dawkins but Dawkins ROCKS Tama! Tama BOOTS Dawkins, Loa sneaks a tag. Dawkins kicks and whips but Tama reverses. Dawkins hurdles but Loa CLOBBERS him! Even Heyman is shocked by that violence! And then the SAIDO! Loa TOSSES Dawkins out, argues with the ref, but Tama brings Dawkins around to SMACK him off the desk! The ref sees that now, reprimands, and Tama lets off. Loa goes out to fetch Dawkins, and SMACKS him off the desk! Loa drags Dawkins up, whips him and Tama is there to LARIAT! The fans boo, the ref reprimands, but the Guerillas stand tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Loa CLUBS away on Dawkins. Loa drags Dawkins up, tags Tama, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT! Dawkins falls back, Tama rains down more fists! Tama even HAMMERS, KICKS and CLUBS Dawkins, then just rains down furious fists! Tama scrapes his sole off Dawkins’ face, and the fans boo as he paces. Tama stands on Dawkins, but then stomps him! And stomps again! The fans boo more but Tama just soaks up the heat. Tama runs to JUMP ELBOW but Dawkins moves! The fans fire up, Dawkins goes to a corner, but Tama runs in! Dawkins dodges the elbow, but he has to crawl for his corner!

Tama intercepts Dawkins, brings him around, but Dawkins ROCKS Tama with a right! Tama just roars! Tama swings, but into a clinch! Tama fights with elbows, but Dawkins roars! EXPLODER! The fans fire up while both men are down! Dawkins and Tama crawl, hot tags to Loa and Ford! The fans fire up as Ford fires off with kicks and fists! Ford CLUBS away with a windmill of haymakers, then he ROCKS Loa! Loa shoves back, gets under Ford’s lariat, but Ford slips out of the back suplex! Ford mule kicks, front kicks, and SUPERKICKS! Loa stays up!? Ford dodges Loa’s lariat to LARIAT back! Tama runs up but Ford FLAPJACKS him!

The fans are thunderous and even Heyman is surprised! Ford gets Loa up, Loa blocks his kick and flips him! Ford lands on his feet to ENZIGIRI! Loa stays up, Ford runs up to SPLASH in the corner! Dawkins tags in, and he hoists Loa up in an Electric Chair! Ford climbs, the fans fire up, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Tama breaks it! The fans boo, Dawkins TOSSES Tama out, but Loa CLOBBERS Dawkins! Loa snarls, waits on Dawkins, and runs up, but Dawkins POUNCES him away! Tama sneaks the tag, Dawkins gives Loa a SKY HIGH! Tag to Ford and Ford climbs, but the ref tries to say Loa isn’t legal! FROM THE HEAVENS!

Tama hits a COMPLETE SHOT!! Cover, Guerillas win!!

Winners: The Guerillas of Destiny, by pinfall

The Profits almost had it, but in the end, they learned just why Tama & Loa are the historic SEVEN-TIME IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions! But will The Guerillas make more history by adding the WWE Tag Team Championships to the résumés?

 

Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill walk ‘n’ talk backstage.

The EST says Zoey Stark & Shayna Baszler really think they’re gonna stop this duo? Girl, please, it’s just talk. They won’t even give those two another thought. But then Indi Hartwell storms over and says, “Oi! Lemme get this straight: You’re going to Raw to hurt more people, like you did Candice?” That “heinous” attack on the knee by Bianca & Jade has Candice stuck at home. Bianca says Indi’s being a bit extra right now. How? Because Candice came after Bianca’s knee first. Don’t change the subject! Bianca isn’t doing that at all. Girl, uh-uh. Candice started it, Bianca ended it.

Jade says if Indi wants to keep complaining, Jade has no problem putting her on the shelf next to lil’ Candy. Indi says that is not what she meant, and she leaves. The StrongEST Duo is ready for any team anywhere, will they show Zoey & Shayna that this Monday Night Raw?

 

Backstage interview with Mia Yim.

Kayla Braxton is now with Michin, and says that the talk of the night is what Styles plans on saying later tonight, possibly his retirement. As a member of The OC, can she shed any light on these rumors? Mia says Styles hasn’t really spoken to The OC, but the vibe between them all has been- Nia steps in and asks why they’re talking about AJ Styles? The talk of the night should be about her, Queen Nia, starting her reign. Mia can’t believe people keep interrupting people. Mia was kinda in the middle of something here. Nia asks if she was speaking to Mia. No, The Queen was not. And do not step to The Queen.

Mia steps to Nia, and Nia says okay. She’s gonna regret that. Nia leaves, but what is Styles about to tell us later tonight?

 

Bayley & Naomi VS Chelsea Green & Piper Niven!

The Role Model was just trying to talk to Nia and she gets jumped from behind. The Glow ain’t having none of that, so she and the WWE Women’s Champion are teaming up to put the troublemakers in their place. Will Bayley be rolling right into the summer with some fire? Or will The Hot Mess & Scottish Viper prove they’re more than just talk?

SmackDown returns as Chelsea & Piper make their entrance. The teams sort out and Bayley starts against Chelsea. Chelsea takes a swing, Bayley dodges, and Bayley fires off in return! Bayley whips, CLOBBERS Chelsea, but Chelsea scrambles away to tag Piper! So Bayley just fires off on Piper! Piper RAMS Bayley into buckles, whips her back in, then runs up to SPLASH! Chelsea tags in now that Piper did enough damage. Chelsea taunts the fans for cheering Bayley, then she kicks low. Chelsea wrenches, but Bayley reels her in for a SAIDO! Tag to Naomi before the SLIDING LARIAT! Naomi adds a SPLIT LEG DROP! Cover, TWO!

Naomi keeps on Chelsea, tags Bayley back in, and they double whip. Chelsea holds ropes, so Bayley & Naomi DOUBLE LARIAT her up and out! The fans rally up, Naomi builds speed and Naomi DIVES to take Chelsea down! The fans fire up as Naomi rains down fists for good measure! But Piper sneaks up, only for Bayley to intercept with a FLYING FOREARM! Bayley stomps Piper, she and Naomi stand tall, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Bayley fights up out of a chinlock. Bayley fires body shots on Piper but Piper knees low. Piper brings Bayley over, tags Chelsea, and ripcord HAYMAKER to LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Chelsea complains, covers, TWO! Chelsea sucker punches Naomi but Naomi storm sin! The ref stops Naomi, Chelsea talks trash, but Bayley throws body shots! Bayley fires boxing elbows but Chelsea RAMS her into a corner! Chelsea RAMS into Bayley again and again, then tags Piper. Piper brings Bayley up but Bayley fires forearms! Bayley reaches out but Piper keeps her from Naomi! Piper scoops, but Bayley slips free!

The fans fire up, Bayley slides under Piper, and she hurries for her corner! Piper drags Bayley back but Bayley kicks and kicks and kicks. Piper stomps Bayley in return! Piper ELBOW DROPS but misses as Bayley dodges! The fans fire up as the two crawl, hot tags to Chelsea and Naomi! Naomi ROUNDHOUSES Chelsea, reels her in, HEATSEEKER! Chelsea flounders back, Naomi goes up, and she CROSSBODIES! The fans fire up again and Naomi runs to DROPKICK Piper for good measure! Naomi sees Chelsea in a corner, fires up and runs in, HYDRAULIC DROPKICK! And ENZIGIRI! Naomi then drags Chelsea to the drop zone, SPLIT LEG MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!!

Chelsea survives and Piper gets her outta there! Naomi just PLANCHAS out onto them both! The fans fire up and Naomi drags Chelsea into the ring. Naomi goes up the corner, Chelsea distracts the ref, Piper SHOVES Naomi down! Chelsea SUPERKICKS! Cover, Bayley breaks it! Bayley then fires off on Piper! But Piper YANKS Bayley down, and sends her into the steel steps! Bayley is down, clutching a leg, and Chelsea gets Naomi up! Chicken wings, but Naomi powers out! Naomi ducks ‘n dodges to hit the REAR VIEW!! Cover, PIPER SENTONS! That squishes both Naomi and Chelsea, but then Piper puts Chelsea on Naomi! Cover, Chelsea & Piper win!

Winners: Chelsea Green & Piper Niven, by pinfall

Chelsea wakes up and realizes what happens! She manages to stand up and celebrate, but will Piper still need to do the heavy lifting if they want title opportunities?

 

AJ Styles heads to gorilla.

And LA Knight finds him first. Knight looks Styles up and down, then says if rumors are true, much respect. Styles nods and continues on. And then Cody Rhodes is there! Cody shakes Styles’ hand, and Styles whispers something to Cody. Perhaps a hint and what’s coming? Styles continues on, and he is met by The Good Brothers. They all shake it out, and Styles says they’ve been through it all with him, so it is only right that they join him out there. Gallows & Anderson follow The Phenomenal One, is this going to be a Too Sweet farewell?

 

The OC head to the ring!

SmackDown returns as AJ Styles makes his entrance, the Good Brothers by his side. They go to the ring, and Styles gets a mic. The fans cheer for “A J STYLES~! A J STYLES~!” Styles has to say, he’s been thinking about what Aldis said the past week, dwelt on it. If Styles wants another shot at Cody and the WWE Championship, he’d have to go to the back of the line. But Aldis is just doing his job, Styles understands that. Styles thought about this all week, and he has to be honest with everyone… Styles can’t do that at this point in time in his career. At this point in time in his life, he can’t do that!

Styles has been doing this for over two DECADES. The fans cheer that! He’s been busting his body in these rings, blood, sweat and tears all over the world. Styles gets a bit emotional here, and the fans cheer him on. Styles says he did that so he could become phenomenal. But this past week, Styles’ son graduated high school! He got to be there! They had the graduation party, so many friends and family members were there, and it was literally at that point, clarity hit him upside the head: How many of these moments has he missed? So instead of being The Phenomenal AJ Styles, maybe he can just stay at home and be the Phenomenal Dad?

The fans are a bit torn, but Styles turns to his Good Brothers. he has Gallows & Anderson step forward. Styles says he couldn’t have done this without them, he loves them both. They’re better than friends, they are his brothers. If they have to do this one last time, let’s do it right. Too Sweet, baby! They hug it out and the fans cheer. Styles then says before he goes, he does want to mention what he told Cody Rhodes. Styles said if Cody didn’t mind, he would call him out here. So Cody, now’s the time. Please, come on out. And so The American Nightmare obliges! The fans fire up and sing the song as Cody makes his way to the ring.

Cody gets a mic as he stands with Styles and the fans cheer again. Styles says before he came out here to do what he’s gotta do, he just wants to look Cody in the eyes face to face, and tell Cody he had one of the greatest matches he’s ever had at Backlash in Lyon, France. The fans cheer that! The crowd was electric, and if Styles was gonna have one last match, that was the one. But just so everyone knows, this is still The House That AJ Styles Built! The fans cheer that, and Styles says he called Cody out here to hand over the keys.

Cody gets emotional now, and says he and Styles only ever exchanged one text message since that match. Cody wanted to know if Styles was okay, and Styles’ response was, “I’m all good, lil’ bro.” Cody could say a lot about Styles’ decision, but he says this: On behalf of himself and a locker room that Styles was a “big bro” to, thank you very much, AJ Styles. The fans cheer that! The two shake hands, hug it out, and Cody lets Styles soak up the adulation. Styles blows kisses to everyone, then Cody raises his hand in victory. The fans cheer more and more, and then STYLES CLOBBERS CODY!! Styles rains down fists on Cody, it was all a trap!!

New York is freaking out but The Good Brothers smile ear to ear! Styles TOSSES Cody out, then RAMS him into steel steps! Cody falls in a heap but Styles pulls the steps apart! The fans boo, upset that they got duped! But then Styles gets Cody over and brings him onto the base steps! The Good Brothers keep the refs back as Styles SMACKS Cody off the post, then reels him in! ELEVATED STYLES CLASH!!! The Phenomenal One pulls off a phenomenal deception, but what will be the consequences of his actions?


My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown here to follow King & Queen of the Ring but even to just add to the great week set by Raw & NXT. But something about AJ Styles in that sky blue suit made it feel like this was his “Mark Henry in a salmon pink blazer” moment. He and The Good Brothers lured Cody Rhodes right into this trap and Styles’ attack will most certainly goad Cody into giving him a rematch for Clash at the Castle. I felt that much coming at the end of KQOTR, and that gives Cody another title match before SummerSlam, where he may or may not tell Logan Paul that Logan owes him a US Championship match.

Also good continuity that LA Knight talked with Styles on his way out given their past feud, and great promo from Knight calling out Logan Paul. Melo also had a good part, and Knight pointing out his flub was also really good. Knight will surely want after Styles for what he just did tonight, but there’s a good chance Logan shows up after being called out, and Knight will also have to face Melo if he wants a shot at the US title. Really good opening match of Ciampa VS Theory, especially with how Waller mouthed off about being the thing that made Theory relevant. The seeds of a break-up are planted, and I’m intrigued to see where this goes.

Really good match from Andrade VS Crews with Angel Garza getting involved. Also good follow-up of Crews going after Angel after. If Legado continues to not take “no” for an answer, maybe Crews can be an ally of Andrade’s in a tag match. Really good little promo from Jade & Bianca with Indi, hyping up a possible visit to Raw but also more out of Jade & Bianca VS Indi & Candice. Really good promo from Nia to open the show, and I figured Chelsea & Piper would do something. I thought Blair would do something in the main event match but guess not. Blair’s feud with Naomi is clearly starting but maybe Blair will make her move next week.

Great match from Naomi & Bayley VS Chelsea & Piper, and I kinda thought Piper was gonna take the win. Though, I guess she did make all the difference in the end there. I would still think Piper gets the title shot in Glasgow, or else Glasgow itself might be a bit upset. Nia also had a good quick promo with Mia to tease a match between them, which will help Nia bide her time while waiting on SummerSlam. And as I’ve said, Bayley is gonna get that underdog Face champion heat going again so that she’ll “survive” Piper, but then Bayley VS Nia could go either way because of just how good Nia’s been doing since her return.

And another great week of Bloodline storytelling. Great promo from The Bloodline backstage, great promo from Kevin with Heyman in the ring, and then great stuff from the tag match. In fact, Kevin and Solo went off brawling and were never seen again, maybe they’re still brawling even after the show’s over. Guerillas got a great win off The Profits, and while they’re still Heels, I’d love for them to take the tag titles. It could even be a Fatal 4 Way or something for these tag titles, making it A-Town Down Under VS DIY VS Profits VS Guerillas. ATDU can break up, DIY and Profits can get in each other’s way, and Guerillas can take advantage so The Bloodline has some gold again.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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