OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Tornado Tag: THE Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher VS Rich Swann & Cedric Alexander; Swann & Alexander win.
• Mustafa Ali VS Ariya Daivari; Ali wins.
• Kalisto VS Drew Gulak w/ Enzo Amore; Kalisto wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

In English: Happy Birthday, Kalisto!

The Lucha Dragon is gonna celebrate by beating down Enzo Amore’s right hand man, Captain Underpants, Drew Gulak. And the party will continue at Survivor Series where Kalisto vows to close down the ‘Zo Show, and becoming Cruiserweight Champion again will be his gift to himself!

But The Certified G is plotting something.

A nice big cake for the birthday boy. Does Gulak even understand what will happen if Kalisto takes the Cruiserweight Championship away again? The ‘Zo Train is derailed. The future is in Gulak’s hands, so is he going to roll in dough or what? Enzo wants the Drew Gulak that does whatever it takes to make a better 205 Live. Capiche? Gulak does capiche. Um… But, Gulak is determined to make a difference, Enzo spent big money on this cake, so they need to make this a birthday Kalisto will never forget.

Tornado Tag: THE Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher VS Rich Swann & Cedric Alexander!

The Ungentlemanly Alliance is at it again as they state “Life is about choices.” And sadly, The Outlandish One and the Carolina Kid chose to be clowns for the WWE Universe. Kendrick & Gallagher vow to make their opponents learn that bad choices bring cruel consequences. Swann comes out with a microphone.

He reminds Gallagher that last week, they were in Manchester, Gallagher’s hometown. Tonight they’re in the hometown of Alexander! Swann gives Alexander proper introductions, and the match gets started.

It’s a brawl right at the bell, Alexander & Swann whip Kendrick & Gallagher, but those two get out. Charlotte is behind Alexander & Swann as they go out to bring the fight to the Ungentle Men. Swann is whipped into barriers but elbows back, Kendrick puts Alexander into the apron then boots Swann down. Alexander comes back with a stiff forearm, and a stiff chop. Alexander gets Kendrick up for another forearm, but then Gallagher blasts Alexander with a dropkick to send him over the announce table! Swann pounces on Gallagher but he’s 2v1 against the “cruel season”. The two lift Swann up and drop him on the apron’s edge, then put him in the ring. Kendrick covers, TWO, he and Gallagher keep on Swann with stomps and trash talk. Alexander returns, but he’s knocked right back out. Swann gets up, goes after teh two Ungentle Men, clubbing Gallagher down but pounced on by Kendrick. Gallagher rains down rights while Kendrick embraces the heat. Cover, TWO, so Kendrick tries, TWO. Gallagher tries again, ONE, but Swann is still isolated by Kendrick & Gallagher as they mug him at the ropes. Kendrick kicks Alexander while Gallagher kicks Swann out. Kendrick suplexes Alexander up and in but Alexander slips out to mule kick Gallagher and handspring headscissor Kendrick down. Dropkick sends Kendrick out, and Alexander rallies on Gallagher. Kick blocked, stiff back elbow rocks Gallagher, handspring dodged, but Gallagher runs into Spanish Fly!

Cover, Kendrick breaks it with a dropkick just in time. Kendrick and Alexander are in opposite corners, Kendrick takes aim and runs in, drop toehold into buckles. Alexander gives him a knee right to the head, then fires up with Charlotte as he takes aim. Springboard aimed at Kendrick, Gallagher intercepts to collide with Alexander, who topples down to the mat. Three men down, Swann slowly returning while Gallagher rolls out and Kendrick crawls over to cover, TWO. Fans rally even as Kendrick puts on the Captain’s Hook. Swann is back, but Gallagher intercepts again to put Swann in a Fujiwara armbar!

Side-by-side submissions, Swann and Alexander reach for ropes, but Alexander is fading. The ref checks on Alexander, Swann keeps that arm from dropping! So Kendrick lets go of Alexander to add on to Swann!

Swann endures two different submissions, he’s starting to fade. Alexander saves him by tackling Kendrick. Kendrick is first up of the four, grabs Alexander, but Alexander throws forearms and chops. Kendrick drives him to a corner, Gallagher with the Extraordinary Dropkick! Then, Sliced Bread!

Swann saves Alexander now by breaking that pin! Kendrick is furious as he and Gallagher elbow Swann, then grind boots in a corner. Double whip corner to corner, but Swann fights out with a haymaker and a SUPERKICK. Swann kicks Gallagher, SUPERKICK to Kendrick, double scissor kick! TWO on Gallagher, TWO on Kendrick, so Swann drags Gallagher over. Swann climbs up, gets rid of William III, but Kendrick pushes Swann to crotch him on the top. Kendrick climbs up to join Swann, puts Swann in position, Alexander returns to grab Kendrick. Kendrick fights back and slips down, throws Alexander out, then rocks Swann with a forearm. Gallagher joins him as the two climb up, they throw Swann with a Double SUPER Hip-Toss!

Swann crashes down, Kendrick covers, TWO!? The Ungentle Men can’t believe it. But then, Gallagher is dragged out of the ring and thrown into barriers by Alexander, Alexander gets in to target Kendrick. The two men glare each other down, swing kick knocks Kendrick back, springboard lariat takes him down! Charlotte fires up, but Kendrick slips out of the back suplex lift, Alexander dodges Kendrick but still runs into his SUPERKICK! Takedown but Alexander slips out, stiff back elbow to Kendrick. Gallagher is returning as Alexander grabs Kendrick, his dropkick takes out Alexander’s leg! Everyone down, Gallagher & Kendrick regroup in one corner while Swann & Alexander do the same. Gallagher is up first, aimed at Alexander. He runs in, SUPERKICK from Swann sends him the other way. Kendrick runs at Swann, Swann ducks to DIVE and tornado DDT Gallagher!

Alexander Neuralizes Kendrick, then gives him the Lumbar Check!

Alexander & Swann win! The hometown hero and his Outlandish ally made it through the cruel assault, will this get Kendrick & Gallagher to leave them alone?

Mustafa Ali VS Ariya Daivari!

The Privileged Persian speaks on his way to the ring. This might be the last episode of The ‘Zo Show. No, not 205 Live, but if Kalisto wins, that might end, too. Ever since Enzo showed up, every single Cruiserweight has become more famous, more popular and most importantly, more wealthy. There’s no value to Kalisto being honorable, but there is in cash going into wallets, and that’s something Charlotte knows nothing. Daivari wants more in life, and says so in Farsi. Thankfully, the Pakistani Prince shows up to shut him up.

Ali doesn’t think anyone here knows Farsi. But Ali can translate. Daivari was trying to say that he has his head so far up Enzo’s butt, that he isn’t exactly tasting birthday cake. Calm down, jokes aside, but Ali has something to say. Whether you support Enzo or Kalisto, Cruiserweights have the same common goal of helping 205 Live reach its top potential. So man to man, from the bottom of Ali’s heart, Daivari looks stupid. Fans do agree, “You Look Stupid!” The bell rings, Daivari swings on Ali but Ali ducks, mule kick and then he pulls off that jacket. Daivari runs at Ali, Ali sends him out, and tries on the jacket and gold chains.

Daivari comes in but gets right hands and put in a corner. Ali takes off the jacket and chains, whips Daivari corner to corner but is reversed, he goes up and over Daivari and shows off agility with a cartwheel and handspring. Daivari rushes in, misses, Ali hops up and flies with a crossbody, TWO! Ali keeps focus, European Uppercut and chop in the corner. Corner to corner whip reversed but then reversed back, Daivari puts Ali on the apron and gets a stiff elbow, but Daivari runs into a forearm. Ali springboards but is shoved to the ground, rough landing hurts Ali’s back. Daivari rolls out to fetch Ali, whips him into the ring and then stomps away on him. Ali gets to a corner, Daivari stomps a fashionable mudhole into him. Daivari says Charlotte fans look stupid. Daivari swings but misses, Ali responds with forearms. Whip reversed again, jumping bulldog puts Ali down, TWO. Daivari is getting annoyed, he puts Ali in a straitjacket clutch. Ali endures, Daivari trash talks in Farsi, fans build to a rally and Ali feeds off it. Ali gets up, out, rolls with and rolls Daivari up, TWO. Daivari kicks low, scoops but Ali slips out in time to send Daivari into buckles. Back elbow from Daivari, then a spinebuster, TWO! Daivari is getting frustrated with Ali, he drags Ali over to a corner before hopping up. Daivari takes aim, but misses the elbow as Ali rolls out! Daivari and Ali are both slow moving but Ali targets Daivari. Fans taunt Daivari with more “You Look Stupid!” chants. Daivari gets a shoulder to the stomach, Ali slingshots up and over and then rallies with forearms on the run. Whip reversed again, flapjack dropkick and handspring, Ali has the fans into this as he whips but is reversed again. Slide to a stop, slip to the apron, roundhouse sends Daivari back, springboard tornado DDT, TWO. Ali is sore but still stands up, goes to suplex but Daivari slips out, back suplex but Ali slips out, kick blocked, inverted DDT! Daivari goes to a corner and climbs up again, Lion Splash!

TWO! Daivari is a bit shocked, he’s running out of ideas. Daivari drags Ali up, fireman’s carry, Ali fights out. Daivari in a corner, Ali runs but gets a boot, Daivari hops up again, Ali up to SUPER STEINER Daivari down. Ali gets him in position, climbs up, 0–5–4!

Ali wins! Big win this close to a big event, can it do big things for Ali in the race towards title contention?

Kalisto warms-up backstage when “AH! AH! AH!”

Akira Tozawa greets his “Luch-AH” tag partner with “AH-py birthday!” Gracias, Tozawa. The birthday boy has moral support, will he also celebrate a win tonight?

A birthday party is waiting ringside.

As such, The Certified G and the Cruiserweight Crusader come to the ring.

But today is a special day! Y’know why? Today is Kalisto’s birthday! Yay~! And as a “benevolent” champion, Enzo is giving Kalisto his biggest payday at Survivor Series, he’s making sure tonight, Kalisto feels appreciated. And what better way to do that than with a party! But what do we got over here? A cuppa favors. Party favors. But the one thing they didn’t get Kalisto? PRESENTS! So, they brain-stormed and got the best one they could get: a beat down. How are you doing?

Enzo told him not to ever say that. But, whatever. After tonight’s birthday beating, Enzo will serve up a sweet treat, a cake! High quality cake, it could last to Thanksgiving if you freeze it right. After Kalisto loses on Sunday, he can eat his way to happiness with this cake. Or Enzo could force feed it to him. How about that? Well Kalisto’s had his fill of talking, he comes out so this match can begin.

Kalisto VS Drew Gulak w/ Enzo Amore!

Gulak is raring to go all over the “LUCHA! LUCHA!” chants that violate his #Drewtopia rules. The bell rings, the two circle but Kalisto is wary of Enzo. Waistlock, standing switch, Gulak puts Kalisto on the mat and slaps him around. Gulak wrenches the neck, Kalisto slips out and takes down, float over and roll, Gulak wristlock but Kalisto gets leverage off ropes to trip Gulak up, Gulak scrambles out of the facelock, then scoops Kalisto into a stiff slam. Enzo likes what he’s seeing from ringside. Gulak stalks Kalisto, stiff chop on the ropes. Gulak whips Kalisto, Kalisto holds ropes, then baits Gulak into do-si-do for headscissors. Gulak ends up on the apron, Kalisto walks over, swing kick knocks Gulak to the floor. Kalisto pursues, Enzo trash talks to distract. Kalisto kicks Gulak, Enzo eggs Kalisto on by holding up the belt at him, Gulak capitalizes with a stiff body shot. Gulak sees the cake, sees Kalisto, he has an idea. Enzo has the same idea, so he watches but Kalisto slips out of Gulak’s grip thanks to the detachable tail on that mask. Gulak chops Kalisto again and they go around the corner, “Happy Birthday!” They return into the ring, Gulak gives stomps to Kalisto before putting on that neck wrench again. Fans cheer for Kalisto, Gulak gives him a headbutt, cover, TWO. Enzo gives out party favors as Kalisto is hoisted up to the top rope. Wait, no top ropes in Drewtopia, so he gets thrown down to the mat. Cover, TWO, Gulak and Enzo are getting annoyed. Fans realize that since it’s Kalisto’s birthday, they should sing, “Happy Birthday to you~!” Gulak has party favors and blows the noise makers. He taunts Kalisto, Kalisto kicks him back, so Gulak uses running stomps to snuff Kalisto’s fire. Gulak asks what Kalisto’s birthday wish is, before scoop slamming him into ropes. Stack cover, TWO, Gulak is getting frustrated. Gulak throws Kalisto out, time to serve cake. Gulak drags Kalisto up, scoop, but Kalisto slips out again. Gulak is insistent that Kalisto have cake, Kalisto stays away. Another scoop, slam onto the apron edge. Hardest part of the ring, y’know. Gulak puts Kalisto in the leg half of the surfboard, then gets the full surfboard.

Kalisto endures, pops out, rolls Gulak and floats over, a boot staggers Gulak. Kalisto runs, springboard corkscrew shoulder! Kalisto dodges in a corner but then gets a stiff back elbow from Gulak, Gulak decides to bend his own rules by climbing up. Bottom rope only so it’s okay, but he still misses his ax handle, Kalisto hits a spike-rana! Cover, TWO, Kalisto is getting frustrated. Gulak gets out, Kalisto fires himself and the fans up with “Lucha! Lucha!” then speeds up to DIVE!

Kalisto says that’s for Enzo this Sunday, then he puts Gulak back in the ring. Enzo comes over and trips Kalisto up, Kalisto hits hard on the apron edge! The fans boo and jeer but Enzo is nothing but proud of himself. Kalisto slowly rolls and writhes into the ring, a ten count begins as both men are down. Gulak sees his opening and grins, “happy birthday~, to you~!” Gulak stalks Kalisto, drags him up, dragon sleeper, SALIDA DEL SOL!

Kalisto wins! But once again, Enzo has to pounce on him.

The Certified G promised a birthday beat down, so here it is! Enzo puts Kalisto in a corner for a Bonafide Mudhole, then he has Gulak get up to help out. Kalisto is thrown out of the ring, Enzo and Gulak go out to fetch him. Fans want cake, Enzo says they’ll get it. Kalisto fights Gulak off, then enziguri to Enzo, fans still want cake. Kalisto decides that they’ll still get cake, as he brings Enzo over instead. But then Gulak comes in full speed to tackle Kalisto down! Gulak drags Kalisto the rest of the way, “It’s Party Time!” But Kalisto slips out of his powerbomb, mule kick to Enzo, heel kick to Gulak! Enzo runs away, an enraged Kalisto runs after him.

Backstage interview with Enzo.

Yeah, yeah, Happy Birthday to Kalisto, whatever. But to be honest, it wasn’t happy, it was lucky. That cake safely made it back to the backstage, Enzo figures since he bought it, he’s gonna have this cake. Kalisto agrees, as he tackles Enzo and shoves his face into it!

Kalisto slings cake at Enzo, too, then kicks him to turn the lights out. The Realest Champ may have cake on his face now, but will he have egg on his face after Survivor Series?

My Thoughts:

A pretty solid go-home of sorts for the Cruiserweights, as well as their first birthday episode. Quality tornado tag for the rivalry of Swann-Alexander & Gallagher-Kendrick, even if the fans were a touch too tired to react to it from the great SmackDown earlier. I still feel WWE really missed an opportunity to have this kind of match happen for them at TLC, but better late than never. Not sure if this is the blow-off, there could easily be one more match on the long road to the Royal Rumble that starts next week. Ali VS Daivari was also solid match work, Ali is quietly racking up wins that could make him a quality contender to the championship, but the way he’s built such a good Face foundation it’d likely have to be against a Heel like Enzo per the usual WWE formula.

Gulak continues to be amazing in his role, he is probably the best character 205 Live has created. He and Kalisto have a solid match, even with Enzo playing a part ringside. Kalisto wins to stay strong, but of course Enzo has to try and muddy the math with that beating that then turns the other way. And of course, everyone who knows how birthdays on WWE TV usually go were all eagerly waiting for a cake mishap. It didn’t happen ringside, which would’ve been great, but it happening backstage with what is apparently a stunt double cake was good enough. Kalisto comes out on top, so that sadly means Enzo likely retains, but as I stated, if it means a Face like Ali can step up to him, perhaps it’s not so bad.

My Score: 8/10