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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (1/29/19)

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The Man won the Royal Rumble! But she’s going to Raw for Ronda Rousey! Who will then challenge Asuka for her SmackDown Women’s Championship at Wrestlemania?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE United States Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura VS R-Truth w/ Carmella; Truth wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • WWE United States Championship: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Rusev w/ Lana; Truth wins and retains the WWE United States Championship.
  • Rey Mysterio VS Samoa Joe; No Contest.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way Elimination Contenders Match: The Usos VS The New Day VS The Bar VS Heavy Machinery; The Usos wins and will challenge The Miz & Shane McMahon for the titles.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Man is here!

Becky Lynch called out Ronda Rousey on Raw per her reward for winning the Women’s Royal Rumble match, but she’s back on SmackDown until Wrestlemania. Phoenix is fired up to see her again as she picks up a mic. “What a couple of days, huh?” A lot has happened in Phoenix. Becky won the Women’s Rumble and showed up on Raw. She couldn’t resist looking “Ronnie” in the eye. And in doing so, Becky took about two seconds to confirm the difference between them. The Rumble PPV didn’t really go Becky’s way, but she doesn’t crumble when she loses. Becky won the Rumble match on one good leg.

And yet, “the arrogant dope” Ronda wants Becky to be ashamed of her past. Becky’s proud of coming from nothing, of all the heads she’s slapped on her way here, and most proud of working her way from the kickoff show to THE show! No one handed Becky anything! And fans are on her side for that, chanting “You Deserve It!” Becky saw something in Ronda’s eyes she doesn’t have anymore: doubt. Becky vows to break Ronda’s arm in front of the entire world. And if Ronda doesn’t believe that, then she’ll be carried out knowing it. But wait, here comes Charlotte Flair! The Queen was the other Rumble finalist, but she is smiling and clapping despite the loss. Charlotte congratulates Becky for making it off the preshow. She’s so happy for Becky. Feels good, huh? Charlotte really is proud of Becky, really!

The Rumble didn’t have Becky in it to start, but Becky willed her way in. Maybe she learned something from Charlotte. Becky became “The Man” thanks to The Queen. It was Charlotte who brought Becky up to the main event. And she finally says it: she is happy that she could do all of this for Becky. “You’re welcome.” Becky decks Charlotte! Fans cheer Becky on while Charlotte collects herself. And Charlotte rushes Becky at the ramp! The brawl is on as Charlotte rains down rights. She drags Becky up but Becky fires back! They brawl their way back to ringside but Charlotte throws Becky into barriers! Becky gets back up and they scrap back to the ring!

Referees and security pull them apart but the fans wan tot “Let Them Fight!” Becky gets free and tackles Charlotte! Security pulls them apart, and Becky backs down. The Man has Mania to think about, but will she and Charlotte settle things along the way?

 

WWE United States Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura VS R-Truth w/ Carmella!

The King of Strong Style ruined Royal Rusev Rumble Day when he used the Ravishing Russian as a distraction to the Bulgarian Brute. Meanwhile, The FABULOUS Truth went 0-2 on using their #30 spots in the Rumble matches, but not all of that was their own faults. Can Truth bounce back from being beat down by Nia Jax? Or will the resurrected United States of Nakamerica last longer than two days?

Truth tells everyone What’s Up: He got jacked up by Nia Jax, and never got to enter the Men’s Rumble. The Fabulous Truth fought hard to win the Mixed Match Challenge. He doesn’t really know what happened. ONe minute he was rapping, the next minute he was napping. And he would’ve won if he’d gotten in! Truth knows it, the fans know it, and the McMahons know it! That’s why he’s getting this United States title match tonight! Nakamura makes his entrance, and we begin!

The belt is raised, the bell rings, and Nakamura dropkicks Truth right away! Nakamura gives Truth knee after knee then throws him with the inverted exploder! He aims from the corner, runs, but into the Lie Detector! Nakamura manages to roll away to be safe from a cover, and we go picture in picture. Truth goes out and fetches Nakamura, but he’s practically dead weight. Truth puts Nakamura in and covers, TWO!! Nakamura lives but Truth tries again. TWO, but Truth keeps his cool. He suplexes Nakamura for the gordbuster! Cover, TWO! Truth keeps on Nakamura in the corner, but misses the splash! Nakamura roundhouses him back in the back, then drags him out for an STO. Nakamura stomps Truth then drops the knee, cover, TWO! Now Nakamura keeps his cool while he kicks and stomps Truth.

Truth flounders to ropes and Nakamura chockes him. Nakamura lets up at 4 but comes back with a swift boot! Nakamura drags Truth up but Truth shoves him away. Truth tries to fight back but his body shots don’t affect Nakamura. Nakamura’s kicks, however, do affect Truth. Nakamura wraps on a guillotine facelock, and Truth endures as Carmella rallies the fans. Truth fights his way up and out, but Nakamura drags him down for knees to the head, neck and ribs! Nakamura stomps Truth more, then drags him to a corner. Nakamura grinds his boot in for Bad Vibrations! He backs off at 4, but comes back with more kicks and even forearms. The ref backs Nakamura off again as we return to single picture.

Truth hits back with haymakers, but Nakamura rocks him with a punch. Nakamura puts Truth on the ropes, for the Top Shelf Knee! But he keeps Truth there for a second helping! Nakamura goes corner to corner again for a third Top Shelf Knee! He finally dumps Truth down to cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Truth but Nakamura keeps on him with a fireman’s carry. Nakamura swings but Truth counters Landslide to a cradle!! Truth wins!? There’s some confusion, but somehow that was THREE!! Nakamura argues with the referee, and we go to instant replay. The ref counted three before Nakamura got out!!

Winner: R-Truth, by pinfall; NEW WWE United States Champion

Unbelievable! But Truth is once again a champion, after seven years! Now it’s the FABULOUS United States of Truth!

But wait, here comes Rusev and Lana! They say none of this is right. Rusev took the title from Nakamura because that title deserves better. And if it deserves better than Nakamura, it deserves better than Truth, too! Fans disagree, but Rusev dares Truth to have his first defense right now. Fans are divided, but Lana and Carmella start trash talking. Carmella shoves Lana! Rusev gets mad at Carmella but Truth stands in the way. They start shoving, and Rusev shoves Truth down! Truth accepts the challenge!? The belt is raised, and that match happens after the break!

 

WWE United States Championship: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Rusev w/ Lana!

SmackDown returns to Rusev thrashing Truth in a chinlock. Fans rally behind Truth as he endures. Rusev drives in elbows over and over, then wraps the chinlock back on. Fans keep rallying for Truth and Truth fights his way back up. Truth fights out but Rusev knees low. Rusev whips and splashes Truth in the corner. He whips corner to corner and barrels into Truth with a shoulder. Rusev whips again but Truth goes up and over to a sunset flip! High stack, Truth wins!!

Winner: R-Truth, by pinfall; still WWE United States Champion

Two matches, two victories! Truth is already a successful champion, but then Nakamura returns for revenge! Nakamura stomps and kicks Truth around then feeds him back to Rusev. The Bulgarian Brute looks at Truth, then at Nakamura. Rusev stomps Truth! Nakamura slithers into the ring, and works together with Ruesv!? What happened to them hating each other? Or was it just the title they really cared about? Nakamura stands Truth up for Rusev’s MACHKA Kick! Then Rusev returns the favor, sitting Truth up for a KINSHASA!! Truth is still the champion, but how long will that last against two bitter and brutal contenders?

 

Becky Lynch makes her way out of the arena.

The Man still has a hobble, because she refuses another medical exam. She doesn’t wanna waste any more time “on the shelf.” Becky drives off to the hotel, but is that a sign that she’s not in good shape? Or will mind over matter help her make it down the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

R-Truth gets looked at by the medics.

But as the new United States Champion, he insists he’s okay. Will Truth be able to recover before Nakamura and Rusev come looking for another shot at the title?

 

Rey Mysterio VS Samoa Joe!

The King of Lucha Libre and the Destroyer both failed to win the Men’s Rumble match, but there are many ways to the Grandest State of Them All. Which one will make the biggest inroads to a major match on this Road to Wrestlemania?

SmackDown returns as Zelina Vega comes out. La Muneca knows Mysterio is the reason she couldn’t be ringside last week. What’s up with that? Is Mysterio that distracted by her beauty? But she gets it. Andrade “Cien” Almas is head and shoulders above everyone else. And now he attacks from behind! El Idolo rains rights down on Mysterio as fans boo and jeer. Almas then drags Mysterio up for one suplex. Then two suplexes, and then with a shimmy, the third- No, Mysterio slips out and enziguris Almas back! Mysterio dials it up, 619 is blocked! Almas stomps Msyterio out and then with Vega ordering him, finishes it with La Sombra, the hammerlock DDT! Tranquilo stands tall, but will they have it out to finally settle their score?

No Contest

 

The Good Brothers confront Rusev.

Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows ask Rusev what he was doing out there. He lost. So he just goes beat downs Truth? Truth doesn’t deserve that. Why don’t they mind their business all the way back to catering. Rusev and Nakamura deserve each other. But how about going 2v2 with the Good Brothers? Nakamura appears to accept the challenge. Rusev tells Nakamura this is a one time thing. Don’t screw him over. Will The Club teach Rusev and Nakamura some respect? Or will this combination of Bulgarian Brute and King of Strong Style actually work?

 

The Best Tag Team in the World are here!

Yes, it’s the NEW SmackDown Tag Team Champions, The Miz & Shane McMahon! The A-Lister and Shane O’Mac enter the ring and pick up some mics and say ‘sup to Phoenix. Is the surprise that there is no surprise? No confetti? No streamers? Where’s the champagne? It’s time to party with Phoenix and the tag team champions! Shane says there’s something even better than all that. A childhood dream came true when these two came together and became the tag team champions. Then Shane thought about how to repay The Miz, and then the idea hit him. The one thing Shane can do is that after tonight, Miz will never forget this moment for the rest of his life. Shane must admit that Miz took them on a journey, and it was weird but also fun. And so, Shane shows his appreciation with a new video package.

The video rolls and recaps Miz getting Shane to agree to #BestTagTeamintheWorld! It recaps Miz recapping wanting his dad’s admiration, and how it came down to the Best in the World tournament. Miz and Shane became a team and now they’re THE team on SmackDown with both the World Cup and the tag team championships! Fans applaud for the package, but also because “You Deserve It!” Shane thanks Phoenix for that, and then tells Miz that he was hesitant because he was unsure where Miz’s motivations were. That’s why Shane has something even more special to present. This is something Miz will remember forever, because this is the one thing Miz has been after his entire life. It is the one thing that fuels him to be The Miz. Introduction: Miz’s Dad, George Mizanin! Papa Mizanin makes his way down and joins the champs in the ring.

Fans cheer for “Mr. Miz!” and Miz thought his dad was headed home. Yes, but Shane called him to stay. Miz’s dad has something to say: “Mike. I love you.” And he’s proud of him! They hug! He did it! Miz won his dad’s admiration! Shane is getting emotional, too. But there’s business to attend to. It’s one thing to become the champs, it’s another to stay the champs. Who should they defend against? Who who who? There’s a Fatal 4 Way Elimination Match, NEXT!

 

Backstage interview with Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose.

They’re declaring for that Women’s Tag Team Championship match in the Elimination Chamber. Any team in their with them will crawl out. They’re gonna put their hair up and square up to win those titles!

As for Mandy specifically, but “it’s not always that easy being me.” When she looks as good as she is, and is one-half of the fiercest and hottest team on the planet, everyone looks for a chance to knock you down. Just like Naomi. Why is Mandy after Naomi so fiercely? Roll the tap to see just why.

It was Tough Enough 2015, and the trio once known as BAD put them through the ringer. Tamina slammed Mandy but Naomi egged Tamina on to SUPERFLY her! Mandy apparently wants revenge over being picked on? No, it’s more than that! Mandy hasn’t been the same since that splash! And Naomi was worse when the cameras were off. Naomi made Mandy cry, and Mandy doesn’t cry easy. Mandy did cry, until she developed a complex and her boyfriend dumped her! Naomi ruined Mandy’s relationship, so she wants to ruin Naomi’s! This is not the end! But Mandy keeps her focus on the tag titles. And when she and Sonya win, Naomi will be the last thing on her mind.

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way Elimination Contenders Match: The Usos VS The New Day VS The Bar VS Heavy Machinery!

Three great former tag team champions are in this match, but so are the #BlueCollarSolid hopefuls, Tucker Knight & Otis Dozovic! Who will be the last team standing to then challenge the #CoBesties for the titles?

SmackDown returns as The New Day finish their entrance and start handing out pancakes. Heavy Machinery make their entrance and Phoenix fires up for “Steaks ‘n’ Weights!” Teams sort out and it’s “Dozer” against Jey Uso. Dozer runs Jey right over! Kofi calls for a tag and Jey gives it. Dozer and Kofi circle, and Kofi gives testing kicks. Kofi dodges Dozer and things speed up, but Dozer sits on Kofi! Dozer’s weight alone crushes Kofi! Kofi gets free and tags in Big E! Now there’s some serious strength in the ring as Big E swivels his hips. Dozer starts shaking, the two run and collide, but neither man falls! They go again, but Big E brings Dozer around, wanting that abdominal stretch. Dozer gets loose and now Dozer tries for the stretch! Dozer shoves Big E, they collide again and go staggering away!

Big E runs but into a spinning scoop slam! Dozer tags Tucker, and they march around Big E before sandwiching him with bellies! Then they belly bump to celebrate! The New Day regroups on the outside and we go picture in picture as things continue. Tucker pumps up the fans as he waits for Big E to return. Big E does, but Jimmy Uso tags in. Jimmy watches Tucker closely as they circle. They tie up and Tucker shoves Jimmy to the ropes. Jimmy comes back with a headlock, but Tucker powers out. Jimmy slides to a stop, but Cesaro tags in off Tucker and then blasts him out of the ring! Cesaro drags Jimmy up and tags in Sheamus, The Bar stomps a mudhole into Jimmy! Sheamus drags Jimmy up and rocks him with a European Uppercut before tagging in Cesaro.

The Bar double whip and Bar Lariat Jimmy down. Cesaro covers, TWO! Cesaro keeps Jimmy down with a chinlock and full mount. He grinds Jimmy’s face into the mat, but Jimmy endures. Jimmy fights his way back up as we return to single picture. Jimmy reaches for his corner but Cesaro gut wrenches him away! Tag to Sheamus and Cesaro throws Jimmy. Sheamus drops a knee! Cover, TWO! Sheamus keeps Jimmy down with another chinlock. Jimmy endures and fans build to a rally. Miz and Shane watch backstage as Jimmy jawbreakers Sheamus. Cesaro tags in and stops Jimmy with a whip to the ropes. Cesaro wraps on a chinlock and thrashes Jimmy around. Jimmy endures as fans rally up again. Cesaro whips but Jimmy dodges to back suplex! Both men are down and everyone fires up.

Hot tag to Sheamus and he blasts The New Day! But Jimmy dodges, tag to Jey! Jey blasts Heavy Machinery then rallies on Sheamus! Uppercut to Samoan Drop! Cover, TWO! Sheamus gets to a corner but Jey pumps up with “Uce! O!” Jey runs but is dumped out! BIg E tags in but gets a pump knee from Sheamus! Sheamus climbs up but Kofi kicks Sheamus! Tag and the New Day give Sheamus a double stomp doomsday device!! Cover, but Cesaro rolls Kofi off it! Big E goes after Cesaro and clotheslines them both out. Dozer tags off Sheamus and runs at Kofi! Kofi swing kicks Dozer back then climbs up. Kofi leaps but Dozer catches him! Tucker tags in, COMPACTOR!! Cover, Heavy Machinery ELIMINATES The New Day!!

What a major moment for Tucker & Dozer to take out the 5-Time champions! But things don’t end there, Heavy Machinery watch out for The Usos and The Bar. Jey comes in and circles with Tucker. Fans rally up with “Uce! O!” as Jey rallies on the big men! Jey dumps Tucker out and Jimmy returns, the Usos aim but Cesaro tags in. Jimmy DIVES on Heavy Machinery, but The Bar mug Jey on the other side! Double trophy lift long dart sends Jey into the timekeeper’s area! The Bar has control while we go to break!

SmackDown returns and Cesaro keeps Tucker down with an elbow drop and a chinlock. Tucker endures as Cesaro shifts to a full crossface. Tucker powers his way up and hits Cesaro with a sidewalk slam! Both men crawl, but Cesaro tags to Sheamus. Sheamus stomps Tucker then taunts Dozer. Tucker throws hands on Sheamus but Sheamus throws knees. Sheamus recites The Bar’s catchphrase, but runs into Tucker’s lariat! Tucker and Sheamus crawl as fans rally. Hot tag to Cesaro and Dozer! Dozer rallies on The Bar! He splashes Sheamus then runs Cesaro over, repeat! Dozer throws Cesaro overhead! Dozer runs in at both and squashes both in the corner! Cesaro’s down and Dozer pumps up, here comes the Caterpillar! Cover, TWO! Dozer keeps his cool as he tags in Tucker.

Heavy Machinery have Cesaro up, but Sheamus trips Tucker. Cesaro fights out but gets in the Hoss Toss! COver, but Sheamus breaks it! Dozer goes after Sheamus but gets thrown out. Tucker clotheslines Sheamus out but runs into Ceasro’s boot. Jimmy tags in, Tucker throws Cesaro with a back drop! Jimmy crossbodies onto Tucker! Cover, TWO!! Heavy Machinery survives, but Dozer gets the dragon whip. SUPERKICK to Tucker! Jimmy drags Tucker from the ropes but Sheamus tags back in. Jimmy punches him but he’s no longer legal. Cesaro hits Tucker with a EuroUpper, BROGUE! Cover, The Bar ELIMINATES Heavy Machinery! But no time to rest, as Sheamus turns into a SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK for Ceasaro! Tag to Jey and Jimmy DIVES onto Cesaro! Jey hits Sheamus with the Uso Splash! Cover, The Usos win!!

Winners: Jimmy & Jey Uso, Jey pinning; will face The Miz & Shane at Elimination Chamber

The Uso Penitentiary continues to have the Division #OnLock, but will they put The Best Tag Team in the World away on Chamber Sunday?

 

Daniel Bryan is here!

And while he may be the “New” Daniel Bryan, he is still the WWE Champion after some help from Erick Rowan against AJ Styles. Bryan asks the fans if they know who won at the Royal Rumble. They say “Becky! Becky!” No, they won! The fans won, and their children won, and their children’s children won, because Bryan won. A victory for Bryan is a victory for “every sentient being on planet Earth”, for he is the Planet’s Champion. He doesn’t expect anyone in Phoenix to understand this since they don’t know what winning is like. But Bryan has found someone who does understand. That man came out not for Bryan’s sake, but for the greater good. Yes, Bryan introduces us to Rowan!

Rowan walks out to the ring, a black satchel on his back. Fans boo but Bryan knew they’d do that. What do fans see when they see Rowan? The dirt underneath his finger nails and think he’s a mindless animal, but he spends his night reading Chaucer. Rowan has dirt on his hands because he’s a man of the earth. Rowan is Bryan’s only intellectual peer, which is what allows him to see through the facade. The facade of the fans and of AJ Styles. But even someone as ignorant as Styles is right sometimes. Styles implied that Bryan was a hypocrite. Bryan admits he is. He is a hypocrite because he’s been carrying around the title belt. It is a symbol of excellence, but also of excess. The belt is gaudy, made by cheap labor, and made from the skin of a cow whose life was taken from her!

Bryan thinks of this cow as “Daisy”, and Daisy was a sentient creature that could feel joy, but she didn’t get to experience much in her life. Daisy could also feel pain, which she did feel a lot of. Daisy was forced to give her life for a symbol! This symbol represents what Bryan and Rowan are against! This symbol belongs in the trash! And that’s where Bryan puts it! Bryan vowed that when he’d become champion, he’d change the world. To do that, we need to change our symbols. Rowan unveils “it”. Rowan pulls out a new belt from the satchel! “This is the new symbol of excellence.” A belt made of hemp, wood and pebbles is the NEW WWE World Championship! Fans disapprove but Bryan says they’re all ignorant! This is a 100% sustainable and organic title! But now AJ Styles appears!

The Phenomenal One wasn’t just going to sit by and watch the title be thrown away. Styles asks Bryan if he smoked the prototype. No! Fans say “Yes!” Styles wonders, Bryan may not like corporations but he does like big insurance policies in the form of Rowan. But wait, now The Viper, Randy Orton, appears! He heads down to the ring, but we go to one last break!

SmackDown returns, and now we’re joined by Jeff Hardy and Mustafa Ali! The Beacon of Light sees living legends talking about title opportunities, but Ali has his own resume to list. Orton brings up how Ali got “beat up by a girl” at the Royal Rumble. Yeah, but- Samoa Joe appears?! Joe’s not waiting in line anymore. He wants to put the champ to sleep! Joe will settle things with Orton later, and it won’t be outta nowhere. Joe got Hardy, why is he out here? Maybe Hardy should shut his mouth like it’s an AA meeting. As for Ali, he’s a boy among men, and boy, you got lucky at the Rumble. Bryan and Rowan slip away as Joe gets in Ali’s face about eyes not lying. Ali’s eyes were closed when he got put to sleep. And as for AJ, how’s Wendy? Them’s fighting words!

A brawl breaks out and Bryan mocks them all. They’re NOT getting a shot! RKO on JOe! Twist of Fate on Orton! Heel kick to hardy! Bryan keeps ranting, but HHH talks via titantron. HHH confirms that no one man will face him. Bryan defends his New WWE Championship against all five, in the Elimination Chamber!! Bryan says No, but fans say “YES! YES!” The brawl in the ring continues as Bryan and Rowan retreat! Joe dumps Styles out into the crowd while Ali dumps Hardy out of the ring. Orton catches up to Ali and throws him into barriers! Things keep going as we go off the air, Rowan even joining in! Who will come out of the chaos with the best chances at the championship?

 


 

My Thoughts:

What a wild episode for SmackDown! Obviously while Becky chose Ronda for Wrestlemania, she doesn’t have to change shows right away, which is great because more of The Man is better for everyone. Charlotte coming out to get at Becky for just inserting herself into the match was a logical play, and having them settle things before Becky goes will be great. Becky playing up the bad leg is a very interesting move, but maybe it’ll be played up to put her match with Ronda in question to parallel the Survivor Series shoot injury of her face and mild concussion. Obviously Becky won’t actually won’t miss out, but I wonder if Charlotte gets in as the “replacement”, only for Becky to show she can still go. Boom, Triple Threat. But at the same time, Charlotte VS Asuka II is a good alternate so Asuka can get that loss back.

R-Truth had a busy night but a really great one. It was surprising that he was given a US title match to “make up” for what Nia Jax did to him. It was also surprising he pulled out an upset victory over Nakamura like some kinda NFL controversy reference. Then with Rusev egging him on, it was natural Truth accepts and they have a match, but it was an even bigger surprise that Truth retains! Nakamura and Rusev will face The Club next week, and I have a feeling Nakamura and Rusev win, unless Truth’s revenge is to distract them. Truth likely finds himself in a Triple Threat either at or before Elimination Chamber, and if he somehow retains through that, I’d definitely be amazed. I honestly expected a US title Chamber match but maybe not, despite seeing Mysterio and Almas continue their feud in their segment.

I don’t really know how well Mandy’s newly revealed motivation for hating Naomi works. Corey Graves going extra fanboy white knight was also weird. But her and Sonya just entering the Women’s Tag Chamber doesn’t seem fair. Why can’t they have a match with Naomi and Carmella? We still never got Sonya VS Carmella 1v1, so give us this tag match to progress things via action! I suppose the IIconics might just be entered in, and then we have to wait and see if another team is just made. I really hope Kairi Sane and Io Shirai are called up for this, I’m honestly not sure they’re going to get much more in NXT. If Shirai was going to get her NXT Women’s Championship match, then they should’ve tried that for TakeOver: Phoenix. Plus, Shirai’s Asai off a pod would be spot of the night, no doubt.

The SmackDown Tag Division did great again. I almost thought Shane was going to turn tonight with how he was talking, but we get a heartwarming moment instead and I loved it. Then that Fatal 4 Elimination Tag was great, too! I did not expect Heavy Machinery to be the team to eliminate The New Day, but good on them. The Usos win by default since The Bar just lost and it’s too soon for Heavy Machinery. Usos VS Miz-Shane will be a great feud with the promos and the match itself, but maybe the Usos win and that causes Miz and Shane to turn on each other? Honestly hoping not, even though Shane is really scaring everyone with trying to do his old spots.

Then that entire world title segment was amazing. Bryan finally gives us his title belt, and we get an amazing brawl to close the show. That world title Chamber match is going to be great, but I’m starting to think this is how we circle back to the rumored Styles VS Orton. Styles could definitely win in a Chamber match, and Orton can find his way through some kind of contenders series that wraps up at Fastlane. Again, hoping not, because it’d be a shame if Bryan’s 100% organic belt had to be dumped so soon. It actually looks great now that it’s real. Maybe Bryan wins if Rowan finds a way to bust into the Chamber and helps him again. Then Bryan can take on anyone, like Mustafa Ali.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

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AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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