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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (3/5/19)

SmackDown pulls into the Fastlane!

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SmackDown heads to Fastlane at high speed! Who will answer R-Truth’s United States Open Challenge? Will Kevin Owens maintain momentum towards the title?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Miz w/ Shane McMahon VS Jey Uso w/ Jimmy; The Miz wins.
  • WWE United States Open Challenge: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS ???; becomes…
  • WWE United States Championship Fatal 4 Way: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Rey Mysterio VS Samoa Joe; Samoa Joe wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Bar; Black & Ricochet win.
  • Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville VS Naomi; Rose wins.
  • Kevin Owens VS Rowan w/ Daniel Bryan; Owens wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

WWE honors the memory of King Kong Bundy.

 

Daniel Bryan heads to the ring!

The Planet’s Champion, with Big Red Rowan in tow, arrives in Wilkes-Barre and simply points to the screen. Footage plays of last week’s SmackDown, when just as Kofi Kingston was moments from signing the contract that would give him what he worked so hard to get these last 11 years. Kofi was going to challenge for the WWE Championship, but Vince McMahon made another executive decision! Vince replaced Kofi in the match, with a man “more deserving” in Kevin Owens! The New Day was furious but Kofi could only watch quietly as his dream was denied. But later that night, Kevin Owens offered Kofi an olive branch, and they took both Bryan and Rowan on together! Kofi and Kevin would be successful, but with Kevin pinning the champion.

Fans boo in the present, because they’re still not happy it’s Kevin over Kofi. Bryan says he remained silent last week during all the “gushing” over Kofi. And he remained silent when Vince replaced Kofi with Kevin in the match at Fastlane. But now he will speak, and everyone else should remain silent. Rowan tells the booing fans to “Shut up!” The fans need to open their ears because Bryan is about to enlighten the WWE Universe. Fans refuse, and chant for “Kofi! Kofi!” Bryan says he’s not here to talk about Kofi. Why would he? Kofi is not a leader. Kofi is a supporting player! Which is why Kofi is where he should be: with his buddies, The New Day, on a promotional tour in India.

Vince was right to replace Kofi, but Vince was wrong to replace the man who flings “copious amounts of pancakes” with a man who eats copious amounts of pancakes. Bryan sees why the fans love Kevin Owens: Kevin Owens is just like all of us. Kevin looks like the fans, he thinks like the fans, and he does not deserve a title match. “Because Kevin Owens is a nobody!” But that’s what makes Kevin dangerous. A nobody is somebody with nothing to lose. Bryan has everything to lose as the Planet’s Champion! He has the pressure knowing that if he loses, the planet loses. But speaking of Kevin, here he comes!

The Prizefighter notes how ever since he got hurt, that he stopped being a WWE superstar and became what he’s always been: a member of the WWE Universe. For the last five months, he and his family watched every episode of Raw and SmackDown on the couch. Bryan says that’s where Kevin belongs. But Kevin says that time off was great, but also hard to watch everyone else do what he loves to do. “Except when you were out here,” Bryan. Because it wasn’t hard, it was just awful. It was awful to see Bryan act like he’s above everyone else. And Kevin can’t stand people who think they’re better than everyone else. Worst of all, Bryan threw the previous WWE Championship belt in the trash. Bryan says that’s where it belongs.

Seeing that was the last straw. Kevin knew where he needed to return and who he needed to fight. Kevin speaks for his family and the fans when he says Bryan deserves to get his mouth shut! But Bryan says his mouth won’t be shut, it’s Kevin’s mouth that should be shut because of all the garbage it consumes. Is this the “educated” Bryan? The intelligent Bryan, resorting to low-brow fat jokes? Is Bryan somehow so much better just for eating organic carrots? Take those carrots and shove them- Oh look who’s low-brow now! This is another reason the fans relate to Kevin. If Kevin is just like the fans for thinking Bryan is a “pretentious jackass”, then right you are! Fans chant “YES! YES!”

But that’s not the only thing. Like these people, Kevin doesn’t have a reality show, a 7 foot tall back-up dancer- Kevin doesn’t have one of those is because he doesn’t have any friends. Oh, true. Kevin had lots of friends but he doesn’t now because that was his fault. But Kevin didn’t need help to hit the Stunner and pin Bryan in the ring! And the bottom line is that Kevin never meant to take someone else’s opportunity, but he will mean it when he takes the WWE Championship from Bryan! But Rowan stands in Kevin’s way. Got a problem, Redwood? The fight is on!

Kevin dumps Rowan out but now Bryan attacks! Only for Kevin to tackle him and throw down rights. Kevin wants another stunner but is shoved into Rowan’s bear paw! Rowan slams Kevin down! Bryan holds up his organic title while fans boo. Will Rowan be Bryan’s insurance policy to keep that world title all the way to Wrestlemania?

 

The Miz w/ Shane McMahon VS Jey Uso w/ Jimmy!

With the rematch coming on Sunday, this is the last chance for the Best Tag Team in the World to gain momentum! Will The Miz be ready for his and Shane’s second chance at being SmackDown Tag Team Champions? Or will he put on lockdown already?

SmackDown returns as The Usos make their entrance and get hyped with Wilkes-Barre. The Usos pick up mics and recap. They became the SIX-Time champions at Elimiantion Chamber, and now they’re in the Fastlane on the Road to Wrestlemania. It’s the sequel of The Usos VS Shane & Miz. Jimmy is sick of this bromance! He is so sick of Miz being so thankful to Shane for having his dad’s love, for getting to be Co-Besties and all that. He is so sick of Shane jumping off of this, of that, and off the Wrestlemania sign! Worst of all, Shane acting like his shoe game is better than the Usos! Jey says it is, though, because-

That’s not the point, Uce! The Usos are a true tag team! If one hits left, the other hits right. If one goes high, the other goes low. And if one hits harder, the other hits harder. At Fastlane, things get real hard! Welcome to the Uso Penitentiary! The Usos are fired up already, but here come Shane and Miz. The Co-Besties make their way to the ring, and they have a response.

The Usos make fun of them for being passionate and emotional, but it is those qualities that make Miz and Shane the Best in the World. And Fastlane, we’ll see who laughs last. Miz will exploit any mistake and beat them. Miz vows to make Shane and Papa Miz in his hometown of Cleveland! And that will be- The Usos swing on Miz and Shane but get clothesline’d out! Things are heated while we go picture in picture!

Miz and Shane egg Jimmy and Jey on but the Usos take their time to regroup. The referee keeps the peace while Jimmy and Jey go around to the other side. Jey comes in and this match truly begins. They tie up and Jey gets a headlock. Miz pwoers out but Jey runs him over with a shoulder. Jey runs but Miz dodges, to catch Jey into the A-List Combination. Jey takes the backbreaker but denies the neckbreaker, but Miz holds ropes to avoid the Superkick! So Jey clotheslines Miz out instead! Shane comes around the side but Jey builds speed to DIVE! Jey takes Miz out and Jimmy taunts Shane. Shane coaches Miz up but Jey puts Miz in the ring. Jey drags Miz up into a mounted armlock, but Miz endures.

MIz fights his way up but Jey wrenches. Miz haymakers Jey down! He puts Jey in a corner to whip corner to corner, but Jey reverses. Jey runs in but Miz puts him on the apron. Miz slides out and trips Jey up! Jey bounces off the apron, and now Shane taunts Jimmy. Miz bounces Jey off the announce desk! Jimmy coaches Jey but Miz puts him back in the ring. Miz climbs and leaps for ax handles! Cover, TWO! Miz keeps on Jey with knees to the back then wraps on a chinlock. Jey endures and fights his way up while we return to single picture. Jey throws body shots to break free, but Miz blocks the kick. Miz also dodges the Dragon Whip kick, but not the second attempt!

Fans rally up and Jey rallies with lariats! Jey mule kicks then uppercuts! Miz runs but into the fireman’s carry. Miz slips out,s shoves, and hits the dropkick! He goes corner to corner again for double knees, but then his A-Lister Lariat becomes a backslide! TWO!! Miz gets Jey with a DDT! Cover, TWO! Miz keeps his cool while Jimmy rallies for Jey. Miz stalks Jey, full nelson but Jey arm-drags out. Jey hits the Samoan Drop! He runs corner to corner, hip attack! Miz is in the drop zone and Jey climbs up top. Jey leaps, but sees Miz’s boots! Miz still pushes Jey away, but misses in a corner. Roll up, with Jimmy helping Jey! TWO, and Shane clobbers Jimmy! The referee reprimands them both, Miz gets Jey with the Skull Crushing Finale! Cover, Miz wins!

Winner: The Miz, by pinfall

He told the Usos not to lose focus, but they did! Miz wins big and both he and Shane are laser focused for Fastlane! Will they once again be THE Best Tag Team in the World on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Backstage interview with Charlotte Flair.

The Queen requested this interview, because she says SmackDown is missing the presence of her “best friend”, Becky Lynch. Charlotte sure misses seeing Becky hobbling around on a crutch after the beating Ronda Rousey gave her on Raw. If Becky loses at Fastlane, she’s done, no title match. But if Becky somehow wins, Wrestlemania gets a Triple Threat. So Charlotte just wants to see if The Man is man enough to talk about her physical and mental state, in a “friendly” discussion. Charlotte smiles now, but will she be upset on the way to Fastlane?

 

WWE United States Open Challenge: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS ???

Last week was such a huge hit, Truth wants to try it again! We’ll see who accepts the challenge after the break!

SmackDown returns, and Truth says he wants to be like his “childhood hero”, John Cena. But he didn’t realize Cena did these Open Challenges every single week! Doing it once already tired Truth out. Carmella knows, but like Cena always says, “Never Give Up.” Right, right, but Cena also says, “You Can’t See Me.” But Truth sees Cena all the time. His Cena posters, his Cena bed sheets, and even a movie about a car-alien-robot! Yes, but Truth just has to work up his courage, after the Seven Second Dance Break~~! Fabulous Flossing down, but now to business. Truth’s US Open Challenge starts now! But, that’s Lacey Evans! The Sassy Southern Belle struts her stuff again, but she can’t compete for the US Title, right? Lacey waves and leaves, having classed up the show.

Truth wants “Ms. Sexy Clothes” to come back! But she don’t want none. Anyway, now we’ll do the Open Challenge. “Damn you, John Cena!!” Truth’s opponent is… SAMOA JOE!! The Destroyer is not in a good mood, but when is he really? But wait, Rey Mysterio comes out again? The King of Lucha got his shot last time in a Triple Threat, but speaking of, here comes El Idolo! Andrade Almas and Zelina Vega storm their way down and this is just escalating!

WWE United States Championship Fatal 4 Way: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Rey Mysterio VS Samoa Joe!

Truth is trying to do what John Cena would, but this might be too much! Can Truth find a way to survive and retain? Introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this surprise match starts after the break!

SmackDown returns and Joe has already asserted dominance! Truth, Almas and Mysterio are down while Joe stomps away. Joe runs in at Mysterio but Mysterio boots back. Mysterio hops up but Joe just simply walks away from the springboard crossbody. Joe drags Almas up to throw him out. He throws Truth out, too, then drags Mysterio back in. Joe scoop slams Mysterio then drops an elbow! Cover, TWO! Joe keeps his cool while he stalks Mysterio to the corner. He throws Mysterio out then goes after Truth. Joe throws Truth into barriers! Joe goes back to Mysterio and CHOPS him against the apron. Almas staggers up as Joe comes over and Joe CHOPS! Almas CHOPS but Joe CHOPS again! Joe stalks Almas but Almas throws the towel at Joe. Joe still puts Almas in the ring while Vega grows concerned.

The Samoan Submission Machine stands Almas up to rock him with a right. Almas flounders away but Joe dares him to get up. Almas stands but Joe throws those vicious jabs. Joe also headbutts, then sees Mysterio coming. Joe knees Mysterio hard, then goes back to Almas. Almas fights back with forearms from both sides! Almas runs, and gets Joe with the boot feint to elbow! Joe gets to a corner, Almas runs in, but Joe dodges and sends Almas tumbling to the ground! Joe builds speed to DIVE! He wrecks Almas into the announce desk! Fans lose their minds while the referee checks on Almas. Joe smirks as he stalks Mysterio. He CHOPS Mysterio on the back, then stomps Truth down. Joe drags Mysterio up and bumps him off the post. Joe stomps Mysterio and Almas down, then grins as he drags Mysterio up.

Almas kicks at Joe but Joe kicks Almas back. Joe rains down rights, then goes back to Mysterio. Joe lifts but Mysterio fights back! Truth dropkicks Joe into barriers, which sends Mysterio flying into the crowd! Everyone is down but fans fire up while we go to break.

SmackDown returns again as Almas suplexes Mysterio for Uno Amigo, then Dos Amigos. Almas hits Tres Amigos, then heads up top. Fans are divided as Almas references Latino Heat, but Mysterio trips him up! Mysterio won’t let Almas mock Eddie, and he throws haymakers. Mysterio climbs up but Almas knocks him off. Almas adjusts and again references Eddie Guerrero. He drags Mysterio up but Mysterio resists. Truth joins in, Electric Chair like last week! Mysterio springboards, but Almas victory rolls! Mysterio’s crossbody gets Joe! But Almas covers Truth, TWO! Vega is furious for Almas as he starts kicking everyone that moves. Almas whips Mysterio but gets a tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Truth haymakers Mysterio and whips, but splashes Joe! Then Almas! Then finally Mysterio!

Fans fire up with Truth as he aims at Joe again, but Joe hits the urenage! Almas springboard missile dropkicks Joe! Mysterio flies in, but the seated senton is countered with a powerbomb! Almas climbs up and moonsaults! Mysterio dodges, but Almas gets the standing moonsault! Cover but Joe breaks it right away. Joe throws Almas to a post, but Truth rallies on Joe! Calf kick drops Joe, and Truth asks, “What’s up?!” Big splash in the corner, then he dodges and elbows Mysterio down. Joe staggers out, into a SPINEBUSTER! Truth drops Mysterio on Joe with the spin-out bomb! And Truth says, “You Can’t See Me!” Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cover on Joe, TWO! Joe staggers up but Truth runs to kick. Truth runs again, but misses the scissor kick. COQUINA CLUTCH!

Joe has Truth, but Truth scrambles for the ropes. Joe holds on tight, but Mysterio hits the 619 outta nowhere! Truth rolls Mysterio up, TWO! Mysterio thought they were friends. He puts Truth on the apron, Almas dropkicks Truth out! Mysterio kicks Almas but Almas shoves. Mysteiro dodges, to SLIDE out onto Truth! Fans know “This is Awesome!”, then lose their minds over Almas’ slingshot sunset flip powerbomb!! Almas drags Mysterio up and in, but then signals to Vega. Vega hits a huricanrana on Truth! So Carmella hits Vega with a FABULOUS Kick! Almas is upset, but he focuses on Mysterio. Powerbomb, to DESTROYER! Almas ends up on the ropes, Mysterio dials it up, 619 hits! Mysterio climbs, leaps, Frog Splash! Cover, but Joe sentons!! Joe hits Almas with a HUGE urenage and covers, Joe wins!!

Winner: Samoa Joe, by pinfall; NEW WWE United States Champion

Samoa Joe FINALLY has a title on the WWE main roster! R-Truth tried but failed to live up to John Cena’s level, and now The Destroyer takes the title down the Road to Wrestlemania. Will Truth have a chance of getting it back?

 

The New Day speak.

“It’s ya boys” live from Mumbai, India! The fans are excited to see them enjoy the market. They may not be at SmackDown tonight but they’ll be at Fastlane, babyyyyy~! The New Day are professional and do their jobs, but will they be sure to get what they’ve earned soon enough?

 

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

Doubters have said Joe can’t win “the big one”. But Joe knows everyone else knows the lengths he’ll go to to win, and the lengths to keep the title. Joe doesn’t pander to the masses, and he sure doesn’t love John Cena. Hustle, Loyalty & Respect? No, just pain and disrespect! To anyone who will lie awake fearing facing Joe in the ring, he’ll be by soon enough to help them go night-night!

 

Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Bar!

The Embodiment of the End of the King of Flight have already staked a claim for titles in the Raw Tag Team Division, but they’re ready to do the same on SmackDown! Will they make Cesaro & Sheamus #FadetoBlack? Or will The Bar snap back from their loss to DIY?

SmackDown returns as the One and Only makes his entrance to join Aleister in the ring. The Swiss Cyborg and Celtic Gladiator then make their entrance, and they speak. All anyone has been talking about the “shiny new toys” from NXT. On behalf of the rest of the roster, The Bar wishes them luck at Fastlane in that Raw Tag Team Championship Triple Threat. But like the entire Raw Tag Division, Aleister & Ricochet don’t measure up to them. Because they don’t just set the bar, they ARE The Bar! Teams sort out, and we begin with Ricochet and Sheamus.

Sheamus and Ricochet circle as fans chant for “NXT! NXT!” Sheamus kicks and whips but Ricochet slides and forearms. Ricochet counter punches Sheamus more but Sheamus knees low. Sheamus whips but Ricochet returns with a tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Ricochet dropkicks then standing shooting stars, TWO! Ricochet stays on Sheamus but Sheamus puts him on the top rope. Sheamus walks into Ricochet’s boot, but Cesaro comes over. Ricochet has Cesaro stay back, but gets blasted by Sheamus! The One and Only crashes and burns while we go picture in picture.

Sheamus tags Cesaro and Cesaro fetches Ricochet. Cesaro bounces Ricochet off the announce desk, then drags him up. Ricochet counter punches and the two brawl. Cesaro knees low then bounces Ricochet off the apron! Cesaro puts Ricochet in to cover, TWO! Tag to Sheamus and The Bar mugs Ricochet with a mule kick. Sheamus stomps Ricochet’s stomach again and again, then taunts Aleister. Sheamus chokes Ricochet on the ropes, but the ref backs him off. So Cesaro chokes Ricochet on the ropes! Sheamus drags Ricochet up for clubbing forearms and a grinding headlock! Ricochet endures as he’s bent back. He turns and jawbreakers free! Cesaro tags in and gut wrench tosses Ricochet! Cover, TWO! Cesaro keeps on Ricochet with a headlock of his own.

We return to single picture as Cesaro shifts to a seated abdominal stretch. Fans rally up and Ricochet endures. Ricochet works against the hold but Cesaro grinds him down more. Sheamus gloats as Cesaro shifts to a key lock. Fans rally more and Cesaro feeds off the energy. Cesaro shoves Ricochet to a corner but Ricochet elbows back. Ricochet heads for Aleister but Cesaro whips him to The Bar’s corner. Ricochet uses that momentum to forearm Sheamus down! He then boots Cesaro away, somersault to DDT! Both men are down but Ricochet crawls for his corner. Cessaro crawls, too, hot tags to Sheamus and Aleister!

Aleister rallies on Sheamus, then fires off a strike fest! Sweep to the sliding knee! Aleister kips up, springboards, and quebradas! Leaping knee strike! Cover, but Cesaro breaks it. Cesaro stomps Aleister then gets back to his corner. Aleister runs into an elbow and Cesaro tags in. Sheamus hits Aleister with the Irish Curse backbreaker, Cesaro adds the knee drop! Cover, TWO!! The Bar grows frustrated with the new kids on the block. Cesaro brings Aleister up for the Gotch Neutralizer, but Aleister back drops out! Cesaro lands on his feet, only to walk into BLACK MASS! Sheamus runs in but is dumped out. Ricochet tags in, Aleister FLIES onto Sheamus! Ricochet 630!! Cover, Ricochet and Aleister win!

Winners: Ricochet & Aleister Black, Ricochet pinning

The King of Flight and Dutch Destroyer celebrate, but not for long! The King of Strong Style and Bulgarian Brute attack from behind! They also lost to these two, and now want revenge. The Bar joins in, but here come the Hardy Boyz! Jeff and Matt take out Cesaro and Sheamus, just like last week! Then they fire off on Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev! Rusev gets a Twist of Fate from Jeff, then another from Matt! Fans chant “DELETE! DELETE!” as Matt helps Jeff FLY with Poetry in Motion! But he’s caught by the group, so Aleister coordinates with Ricochet, to FLY onto all of them! Team Xtreme stands tall with the Dark and the Flight, will we see the SmackDown Tag Division go to war?

 

Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville VS Naomi!

The Golden Goddess of Team Fire & Desire has a SmackDown Women’s Championship opportunity coming, but mostly thanks to trickery. Will Mandy show she’s worthy while also settling the score with The Glow?

SmackDown returns as Naomi makes her entrance, and the bell rings. The two tie up and Mandy pushes Naomi away, only for Naomi to come back with a dropkick! Naomi slides to SLAP Mandy! Naomi scoops but Mandy slips out to shove Naomi, only for Naomi to come back with a jawbreaker! Sonya distracts on the apron but gets clear, Mandy hits the Golden Knee! Mandy then butterflies for the Golden Driver! Cover, Mandy wins!

Winner: Mandy Rose, by pinfall

Mandy wins fast, but with lots of thanks to the Gladiator Gal. Fire & Desire mock Naomi’s pain, but look who’s behind them on stage. The Empress strikes back! Asuka kicks Sonya down then fires off forearms on Mandy! Sonya gets up but gets thrown into the LEDs! Then so does Mandy! Mandy sits up to get a buzzsaw! And Naomi loves what she sees. Is Mandy not going to be ready for Asuka or for Fastlane?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

The Phenomenal One responds to seeing Kevin Owens replace Kofi Kingston. Styles says title matches don’t grow on trees, so he doesn’t blame Kevin for jumping on the chance. There’s no love lost between him and Kevin, and what happened to Kofi is an injustice, but he doesn’t envy either man. The McMahons promised to listen to the fans, but clearly they’re not. This was Kofi’s chance to finally become champion! But Randy Orton walks over. The Viper can’t believe Styles is talking about someone else’s chance at a title. No wonder it took Styles 15 years to get here. Orton continues to take verbal cheap shots at Styles, but will Styles have a physical retort the next time he does?

 

Kevin Owens VS Rowan w/ Daniel Bryan!

The Prizefighter has a shot at the grand prize Sunday, but he has to get through Big Red first. Will Rowan end the Kevin Owens Show early? Or will he just be an appetizer going into Fastlane?

SmackDown returns as Daniel Bryan joins commentary, because he “can’t wait to see this.” The bell rings and Kevin fires off on Rowan! Rowan knees low then clubs Kevin to the corner. Kevin chops back but Rowan shoves him to the other corner. Rowan runs into a boot, then another boot, only to give Kevin a boot! Fans boo as Rowan grimaces and drags Kevin up. Rowan bumps Kevin off buckles then runs corner to corner for a big splash! He dropkicks Kevin out of the ring! Kevin bails out and Bryan mocks him as a coward. Kevin hears the trash talk and attacks Bryan! Rowan hurries to save Bryan and puts Kevin into steel steps! Rowan tips the steps over, then runs to crossbody Kevin to the ground! Fans boo as Bryan starts throwing punches on Kevin!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by disqualification

Rowan and Bryan continue beating Kevin up, and Rowan scoops Kevin to slam him on the ground! Bryan tells Kevin he doesn’t deserve to be in the ring with them! Fans chant for “Sami! Sami!” as in Sami Zayn, but instead it’s Mustafa Ali to the rescue! The Beacon of Light runs in and flapjack dropkicks Bryan! Rowan throws Kevin into barriers but Ali DIVES at Rowan! But Rowan catches him by the head! Ali slips out of the grip to SUPERKICK Rowan! Ali then leaps and huricanranas Rowan at the post! He doesn’t let up, but then Bryan flies back in with knees! Bryan puts Ali in the ring and tells Ali he’s not worthy. But Kevin saves Ali as he STUNNERS Bryan! Rowan helps Bryan retreat, organic title in hand. Ali is back, is this another name for Bryan to worry about on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Charlotte Flair heads to the ring!

As The Queen said earlier, she’s here to invite Becky Lynch to a “friendly” chat about how she’s feeling. They will face off 1v1 once again at Fastlane, and should Becky win, the Raw Women’s Championship becomes a Triple Threat! Of course, Becky also got a beating by the Baddest Woman on the Planet, who no longer plays the role of “Mrs. Nice Bitch.” Charlotte makes sure Wilkes-Barre knows this as she cues a recap package. “Let’s see how I can get my very, very best friend, Becks- I mean, The Man, out here to have a friendly discussion.” Oh here’s an idea. Just chant her name. Fans do chant for Becky, even though Charlotte does it sarcastically. But it does work! Becky hobbles more, even with the crutch, and Charlotte mocks her pain. Becky still gets in on her own and gets herself a mic.

Fans chant for “Becky! Becky!” more as she says it’s good to be back. Does Charlotte hear that? That’s the cheers when The Man comes around. But Charlotte wants to know how Becky’s feeling? Becky would be lying if she said she’s not hurting. But hurting is worth it to live inside Charlotte’s head rent free. Same for Ronda. Ronda wants to face Becky, then she’ll do whatever it takes to avoid her. Last night, Ronda hit Becky with her “absolute best”, but Becky’s still standing. Becky’s ready for another fight at Fastlane. Charlotte knows Becky’s owned her the last few months. Wilkes-Barre agrees as they chant for Becky. The fans know Becky beat Charlotte on one good leg in the Royal Rumble. Becky may have bruised ribs, a nearly broken arm and a bum leg, but the broken are the most dangerous because they have nothing left to lose.

Charlotte kicks out the crutch and SLAPS Becky! She throws Becky down by her hair then throws her jacket at her! Charlotte says Becky still has plenty to lose! She toys and taunts Becky, then jabs her with the crutch. Charlotte eggs Becky on as she SMACKS her with the crutch. Charlotte goes for the Figure Four but Becky gets her back with that crutch! And then into the Disarm-Her!! Becky shouts, “I’ll rip yer arm off!” But referees rush the ring to pull them apart. Fans boo and want to “Let Them Fight!” Charlotte slips away with her arm but Becky grins. The Man says she’ll see the Queen Sunday. Will Becky beat the odds and then join Charlotte at Wrestlemania?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A pretty wild SmackDown, which is great for a go-home. We get a good opening segment from Bryan and Kevin, though obviously they’re just junking the moments when Bryan was GM and started favoring Kevin and Sami. Kevin is becoming Face by default but he’s making it work, using that same attitude he used as a Heel but against a great Heel like Bryan. It was good to give a reason for keeping The New Day away, it helps save all three of them for the homestretch to Wrestlemania. I’m wondering if Luke Harper will make a return on Bryan’s side and then we get a Six Man Tag some time to hype up Kofi VS Bryan. It was a great surprise to see Ali return. I wonder if they’ll try and keep us guessing about Kofi by having Kofi and Ali compete to be the Wrestlemania challenger for Bryan…

The entire segment with The Usos, Miz and Shane was great, the Usos always know how to burn up the mics. Miz VS Jey was great, and it was great for Miz to win. But I think if Miz won here, The Usos still win at Fastlane. Miz VS Shane could still be coming and Fastlane will spark it. The Usos can then worry about challenges from the SmackDown Tag Division. Black & Ricochet VS The Bar was a great match, and it was great to see The Hardys as well as Nakamura & Rusev get involved. Aleister and Ricochet have a part in the Raw Tag Team Championship match, but I’m thinking Revival retains and then Aleister and Ricochet can focus on SmackDown. The Usos taking on any of the four teams, or multiple teams, would be great for Wrestlemania, and the same for The Revival on Raw.

That United States Championship match was incredible! I’m really loving Truth becoming this John Cena super fan, but obviously the punchline is that it bit him in the butt. Just as I was hoping Truth would issue an open challenge at Wrestlemania to then face John Cena himself, a new champion is crowned! And it’s so great that Samoa Joe is the one to benefit. Joe won’t do open challenges but he’ll definitely have a great match at Mania against just about anyone. We also get Mysterio VS Almas in the Fastlane kickoff, that’s gonna be a great match to pump the show up. That match could go either way, but with Almas having beat Mysterio every time before, I think Mysterio finally gets one.

Mandy VS Naomi was clearly filler, it needed to hype up Mandy VS Asuka at Fastlane. Asuka is of course winning, and I’m still seeing Lacey Evans at Wrestlemania, if they’d just let her talk and have matches. Clearly the focus for both Women’s Divisions is Raw’s story. Charlotte and Becky take center stage, which is great for them but it’s clearly keeping any other story for being told. But as far as Becky’s underdog story goes, she’s doing it perfectly. Becky got beat down on Raw so she gets the better of Charlotte tonight. Again, she’s winning at Fastlane then at Wrestlemania to truly stand atop the WWE Women’s Division.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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