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Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (2/27/20)

Who will say those dreaded two words?

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NEW NXT UK

Will Toni Storm quit her NXT UK Women’s Championship “addiction”?

The Lightning from Down Under has one last chance! Will she take back the NXT UK Women’s Championship? Or is Toni’s time finally up?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Hunt VS The Grizzled Young Veterans; The Grizzled Young Veterans win.
  • Kassius Ohno VS Jack Starz; Ohno wins.
  • A-Kid VS THE Brian Kendrick; A-Kid wins.
  • NXT UK Women’s Championship I Quit Match: Kay Lee Ray VS Toni Storm; KLR wins and retains the NXT UK Women’s Championship, Storm can no longer challenge for the title while KLR is champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Hunt VS Grizzled Young Veterans!

Wild Boar and Primate didn’t take too kindly to the trash talk from Zack Gibson and James Drake. Will they make Liverpool’s Number One and Mr. Mayhem SOON eat those words?

The teams sort out and we start with Drake and Primate. Fans troll Drake with the Ass Face song while Gibson gives Drake some last pointers. Drake tells Primate to keep his cool, and then he goes out, to get a clothesline! Primate scoop slams Drake then tags Boar for the assisted back senton! Boar keeps on Drake and covers, TWO! Boar throws body shots and backs Drake to a corner. Fans bark with Boar but Gibson shields Drake. The ref reprimands Gibson but Gibson helps Drake gets to his corner. Gibson tags in and fans troll with “If You Hate Gibson, Shoes Off~!” Boar and Gibson go around and Gibson gets to ropes. The ref keeps Boar back and Gibson headlocks.

Boar powers out, ducks under, but Gibson wrenches to whip. Boar reverses but Drake saves Gibson from buckles! Gibson BOOTS Boar down then sucker punches Primate! Boar bites Gibson’s hand! Gibson headlocks, Drake tags in, Drake dropkicks Boar’s legs out and Gibson adds a basement dropkick. Gibson is the step stool for Drake’s Mayhem in Motion! Down goes Primate! Fans boo but GYV high fives. Drake drags Boar up to throw big haymakers in the corner. Drake reels Boar in for a lariat then covers, TWO! Gibson points out Primate getting in and the ref keeps him back. Drake drags Boar up for big forearms then Gibson tags in.

GYV whip Boar and double clothesline him down! Cover, ONE, but Gibson keeps Boar from Primate. Gibson throws forearms and then tags Drake. Gibson scoop slams Boar then scoop splashes Drake on top. Cover, TWO! Drake drags Boar up and wraps him in a chinlock. Boar fights his way up as fans rally. Boar throws body shots and forearms then hits Gibson for good measure. Drake keeps Boar from Primate and whips for a backbreaker! Boar tumbles out of the ring and Gibson tags in. Gibson goes after Boar and Drake slingshots, PESCADO BACKBREAKER! Fans boo the GYV as Gibson kicks Boar. Gibson puts Boar in and stays between him and Primate. Fans rally and bark for Boar as Gibson gives him a back suplex! Cover, TWO!

Gibson clamps on with a cobra twist but Boar endures. Boar fights his way up as fans rally, and he throws body shots. Gibson reels Boar out to back elbow him down! Primate roars and distracts Gibson, Boar LARIATS back! Fans rally but Gibson grabs Boar. Boar boots Gibson but Gibson holds onto the foot! Gibson drags Boar back but Boar powers up to tag in Primate! Primate rallies and hammers Gibson, then drags Drake in! Gibson gets caught for an exploder! Primate starts up a clothesline train! He hits Drake, then Gibson, then Drake again! Drake tries to run away but Primate whips him for a back drop! Primate dodges and SPEARS Gibson! Cover, TWO!!

Primate hoots and fans echo it. Primate stalks Gibson but has to hit Drake down first. Gibson clobbers Primate from behind! Fans rally for Primate but Gibson tags Drake. GYV drag Primate up, Electric Chair, but Primate powers out! Drake leaps over Gibson into Primate’s EXPLODER! Primate fireman’s carries but Drake fights out. Tag back to Gibson, Primate is fed to Gibson’s catch, and Drake enziguris into Gibson’s turn, SUPERKICK NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Primate survives and the GYV are furious! Fans hoot and bark for The Hunt and Primate starts to crawl. Drake tags back in, Gibson feeds Primate to the scoop. Primate fights out, Gibson tries to save Drake, but Primate gets Gibson in a waistlock!

Drake tries to save Gibson but Gibson tells him to put him down. Gibson elbows out and GYV whip Primate. Primate gets under, has Drake, and then Boar has Gibson! DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEXES! Gibson flounders out while Primate RAMS Drake! Tag to Boar and Primate fireman’s carries Drake. Death Valley Bomb INTO a bomb! Cover, TWO!! Drake survives and the Hunt is shocked! Primate tags in and goes up, just as Boar does on the other end. Gibson drags Boar down, then baits him nito the steel steps! Primate LEAPS to ax handle Gibson down! Primate then springboards to CLUB Drake down! Drake gets to the corner, Primate scoops but Gibson tags in! Drake gut wrenches, TICKET TO MAYHEM!! Cover, GYV win!!

Winners: The Grizzled Young Veterans, by pinfall

The Hunt proved they’re more than just filler, but they still couldn’t beat a championship caliber team. Will Gibson and Drake make their way back towards tag team championships? Will the Hunt be able to get traction in NXT UK?

 

NXT UK takes a closer look at Ridge Holland.

“There’s only one me. Only one Ridge Holland. I want to fight!” A huge man with an impressive win streak. He is not to be trifled with. Ridge returns to action next week, who will be next on his list of defeated opponents?

 

Kassius Ohno VS Jack Starz!

The Wrestling Genius still says he’s the best British style wrestler in not just NXT UK but the world today. He lost to a “proper” British Heavyweight in Dave Mastiff over a month ago, but will he be able to rebound with the young superstar?

The bell rings and Ohno laughs at Starz. Fans cheer for the Wrestling Genius but Ohno thinks they’re just patronizing. Ohno and Starz tie up and Ohno wrenches. Starz slips through to cravat but Ohno is too big to snapmare. Ohno wrenches and dares Starz to show off his technical skill. Starz slips through again to try a hip toss, but again Ohno is too big. Ohno counters the hip toss into a standing Bow ‘n’ Arrow, then he wrenches to a wristlock. Ohno eggs Starz on, Starz slips through, and actually suplexes Ohno up and over! Starz has the wristlock now, but Ohno kips up and up and up, only for Starz to get in and make it a crucifix pin! TWO but a close one!

Starz tries to whip but Ohno blocks and reverses. Starz shows off something he clearly learned from Jack Gallagher, it’s the corner headstand! Ohno’s seen this before and he kicks Starz’s hand! Ohno grinds his boot in and Starz drops down. The ref reprimands but Starz comes back with uppercuts. Ohno grabs the hand and hammerlocks Starz to then scoop for a backbreaker! The arm gets included in that and fans do cheer the creativity. Ohno drags Starz up and tortures the bad arm. He pulls on the fingers and bends the arm way back to a full knuckle lock. Starz throws elbows but Ohno keeps wrenching. Ohno single arm suplexes Starz up and over!

Ohno grinds Starz’s face into the mat then grabs each arm, for a ghost pin, TWO! Starz manages to escape but Ohno is right on him again. Ohno wrenches the wrist and trips Starz up. Ohno taunts Starz as he puts on a short arm scissor. Starz rolls it back to a cover! TWO and Starz throws big forearms! Ohno swings but into the table top! Ohno staggers to a corner, Starz goes side to side, but is dumped out to the apron! Starz shoulders back in and springboards for a back elbow! Fans fire up with Starz as he underhooks. Ohno breaks free but Starz gets a facelock. Starz tries again, and manages a butterfly suplex?!

Starz headbutts low then wraps on again. Ohno powers up but Starz sunset flips. Ohno stays up, sits but Starz pops out to roll Ohno over, TWO!! Starz staggers away but elbows Ohno back. Starz hops up but Ohno grabs the arm to wring Starz out! Ohno is mad now and he clamps right onto the bad arm. Ohno cranks it, cravat, KASSIUS KLUTCH!! Starz taps, Ohno wins!!

Winner: Kassius Ohno, by submission

Ohno lets go when he’s satisfied, and is back on the winning track. Will the Wrestling Genius formulate a plan to get on the TakeOver: Dublin card?

 

NXT UK’s Radzi interviews Isla Dawn backstage.

How does the White Witch see the strength and depth of the NXT UK Women’s Division? It is very strong right now, and it is an honor to be a part of it. There are so many talents, but one that stands out is Aoife Valkyrie. There is just something there that impressed Isla. But how will the Valkyrie fair when she faces the White Witch next week?

 

Travis Banks speaks.

“Alexander Wolfe, you got in my face. As if the view wasn’t crooked enough,” in reference to Banks’ busted nose, but that’s just par for Imperium, isn’t it? Banks challenges Wolfe to a match, and hopes Johnny Saint gives him something to sink his teeth into. Will we see the Kiwi Buzzsaw clash with the German Hatchet Man?

 

A-Kid VS THE Brian Kendrick!

A-Kid is the new kid on the block, but the self-professed cornerstone of the Cruiserweight Division wants to kick him to the curb. Will The Spanish Ace be ready for whatever The Man with a Plan has planned for him?

The bell rings and Kendrick dares AK to do something. Kendrick avoids AK’s grip as they go around the ring. They tie up, Kendrick ends up in a corner and AK is on him. Kendrick gets around to hammerlock AK but AK rolls and is about to handspring as Kendrick lets him go. AK and Kendrick circle and tie up, AK drops to roll and trip Kendrick up. Kendrick gets the ropebreak and pushes AK off the toehold. AK and Kendrick circle again, tie up, and Kendrick headlocks. AK powers out, Kendrick runs him over and covers, ONE! Things speed up, AK hip tosses and covers, TWO, into an armbar! Kendrick clasps hands and throws kicks. AK kicks back but Kendrick shifts weight.

Kendrick is free for only a moment as AK brings him around. AK has a facelock as they stand up, and Kendrick powers out. AK goes up and leaps to arm-drag and dropkick! Fans cheer as AK wrenches and whips Kendrick, but Kendrick reverses to hotshot AK into the ropes! Fans cheer the savvy while AK gasps and sputters for air. Kendrick grimaces as fans rally up. Kendrick grabs AK’s arm and pulls while standing on AK’s head. AK endures, works his way up, but Kendrick brings AK to ropes. Kendrick pulls back on AK but lets up at the ref’s count. AK flounders but Kendrick grabs AK’s head. Kendrick grinds AK’s head into his knee, then shifts to a cravat to crank on the neck.

AK fights up and throws body shots to get free. AK throws haymakers but Kendrick rocks him back! Kendrick whips AK hard into buckles! Kendrick cravats but AK rolls and throws Kendrick off to dropkick him out! Fans cheer as AK DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp! AK gets up first and brings Kendrick around, but Kendrick elbows his neck! Kendrick runs, AK dodges, and Kendrick kicks the steps. AK moonsaults off the steps to take Kendrick down! AK puts Kendrick in the ring, hurries up top and leaps for the big crossbody! Cover, TWO! AK keeps going and tilt-o-whirls to a takedown! FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Kendrick endures, works his way around, and gets the ropebreak! The ref counts and AK lets up at 4, and Kendrick gets out of the ring.

AK builds speed to triangle jump, but Kendrick hits the ropes at the right time! AK straddles the ropes and Kendrick hauls him into position. Kendrick throws haymakers then climbs up to join AK. Kendrick double underhooks for a SUPER BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Captain’s Hook! Kendrick cranks AK back, but AK shifts and slips out! AK and Kendrick fight with knuckle locks, Kendrick pushes AK down, TWO! AK blocks Kendrick’s full weight with boots, and then uses this to spring up to the top rope! Backflip DDT!! Cover, A-KID WINS!

Winner: A-Kid, by pinfall

The Spanish Ace trumps the Man with a Plan! Is A-Kid on is way towards big things?

 

Next week’s NXT UK Championship match will be massive!

The Bomber, Dave Mastiff is headed for a collision course with the Ring General, Walter! “They say that success comes when preparation meets opportunity.” Mastiff’s opportunity is next week, and he will not let it slip through his hands. Is he prepared for Walter? 100%. But is Walter prepared for Mastiff? “NXT UK deserves a champion better than Walter and what he stands for.” Mastiff despises the greed, want and tyranny of Imperium. Mastiff doesn’t want the NXT UK Championship, he needs it! He owes it to himself and his 17 years of hard work. Will a proper British heavyweight hold the NXT United Kingdom Championship?

 

NXT UK Women’s Championship I Quit Match: Kay Lee Ray VS Toni Storm!

Two friends turned bitter enemies are now at a point of no return. KLR took this title from Toni in Cardiff, and kept it in Blackpool. But since the Storm won’t go away, KLR made her an offer she couldn’t refuse: this will be Toni’s last chance to get the title back. If Toni loses, she is done challenging for this title so long as KLR is champion. Will this be the Lightning’s last stand? Or is Toni Time done for good?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this final chapter begins!

Toni and KLR fire off fast and furious with the bell! KLR pushes Toni and bails out to then bait her into a kick. KLR whips but Toni reverses and sends KLR into barriers! Toni brings KLR up to whip into a post! Toni drags KLR back up to whip her into a barrier again! Fans fire up with Toni as she whips KLR into steel steps! KLR writhes but Toni drags her up and brings her around the way. They go back into the ring and Toni runs to BOOT KLR! KLR ends up in a corner and Toni waistlocks. KLR holds ropes and standing switches to club Toni on the back. Toni mule kicks back! KLR SUPERKICKS! KLR runs but Toni stops the springboard with a GERMAN SUPLEX!

Toni drags KLR up, underhooks, but KLR flops down to avoid Storm Zero. So Toni laces the legs and drops down to put KLR in a modified STF! KLR endures, drags herself and Toni towards ropes, not that ropebreaks or tap outs count in this match. Toni wants KLR to quit but KLR refuses. KLR claws at the apron skirt but Toni pulls her against the ropes! Toni wants KLR to suffer, but it won’t work if KLR faints so Toni lets up. Toni stomps KLR and fans rally behind her. She drags KLR up but KLR claws her face! KLR hits a tornado DDT! KLR drops knees on Toni and fans chant, “We Want Tables!” Toni ends up on ropes and now KLR bends her backwards against them. KLR kicks Toni down when she refuses to give up.

KLR drags Toni up but Toni fights out of the Gory Especial, so KLR clubs her and tries again. Toni is sent into the ropes! KLR brings Toni up again, for a DEEP Gory Especial stretch! Toni endures as she’s being bent backwards, so KLR throws her at ropse. Toni stops herself and gets KLR in a draping octopus! KLR refuses to quit so Toni uses this to throw KLR to the outside! Fans cheer as Toni looks under the ring, and brings out a TABLE! KLR stomps the table down and kicks Toni low! Toni ROCKS KLR back for that and then sets up the table! Toni positions the table by ringside and fans cheer as she fetches KLR. KLR yanks Toni into the apron!

KLR bumps Toni off the apron and goes up the steel steps. She brings Toni up to the top and fans anticipate what’s about to happen. Toni does, too, and she headbutts back! Toni gets around the corner and grabs KLR, but KLR holds onto ropes for dear life! KLR hits Toni down but Toni trips KLR up. KLR hits buckle on the way down, then Toni puts KLR on the table. Toni clubs KLR down then climbs up top! Fans anticipate what’s next, and Toni FROG SPLASHES THROUGH KLR AND THE TABLE!! Fans lose their minds as the referee checks on both women. Somehow they’re both okay and fans rally up. Toni stands first and drags KLR to the ring. They’re both on the apron and Toni throws forearms.

Toni brings KLR in as fans sing, and Toni underhooks! But KLR back drops Toni into the ring, so Toni ROCKS her! Toni runs, into a kick! KLR has Toni on the apron for a draping DDT! KLR is seething as she goes looking under the ring. Fans rally up as Toni stirs, and KLR brings out… TAPE! KLR drags Toni over to put her in the ring. Toni crawls but KLR stalks after her. KLR stomps Toni down then taunts her. KLR uses the tape to bind Toni’s hands behind her back! Fans boo as Toni literally has her hands tied behind her back in this match now! KLR makes sure there’s plenty of tape keeping those hands together as she brings Toni up for forearms! And kicks! Toni has no guard but fans still rally for her.

KLR SLAPS Toni, but grimaces as Toni refuses to quit. KLR goes out to fetch a chair! She brings it in as Toni tries to figure out the tape on her wrists. KLR brings the chair up, but Toni HEADBUTTS! Toni staggers while KLR goes to a corner. KLR kicks a leg out then SUPERKICKS Toni in the head. KLR brings the chair over, sets Toni’s head through it, to SUPERKICK! The chair is a neck brace but Toni refuses to give up. KLR pushes Toni around and grabs the chair again. Fans boo as KLR grinds the chair into Toni’s neck! Toni still refuses to quit despite the pain, but KLR sticks the chair around Toni’s head again! KLR stands on the chair to squeeze it shut! Fans boo and even NXT UK management comes out.

Sid Scala and Johnny Saint try to reason with KLR but she STOMPS the chair!! Toni doesn’t quit despite all this, so KLR wants to finish her. KLR climbs up, but here comes Piper Niven! Too late, KLR jumps and STOMPS the chair!! And then pushes it closed!! Toni still refuses to say the words, so Piper hurries in to plead with Toni. Piper wants Toni to forget about the title and think about her LIFE! KLR goes back up top, ready to jump again, but Toni shouts “I QUIT!” KLR wins!

Winner: Kay Lee Ray (still NXT UK Women’s Champion)

With tears in her eyes, Storm gives up the chase. Piper comforts her friend and shouts for medics to help. KLR only shouts for someone to give her her belt. KLR stands tall as the NXT UK Women’s Champion. Toni can no longer go after the title so long as KLR has it. But then, who is next to challenge for the Scary Queen of Scots’ crown?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A really good episode of NXT UK here on the same day as WWE Super Showdown, which SPOILERS, not all that super. The majority of matches tonight were filler but still good, such as Starz actually getting to look less like a jobber and more like a “Jobber to the stars” against Ohno. A-Kid has a great match with Kendrick and wins, giving him some great points in the rankings. The Hunt and Grizzled Young Veterans were a really good opening match, but naturally, GYV wins. The Hunt still looks great in the loss, but clearly the GYV are staying strong for the sake of being in both NXT Tag Team Divisions.

Obviously the thing that really mattered tonight was the I Quit Match. The story between KLR and Toni was so rich in this match, and it was great that not even one finisher hit. I Quit Matches almost always have these brutal, nearly uncomfortable endings and they definitely got that with the chair around Toni’s head and neck. Piper coming out to talk sense into Toni was a good way of coming around to the I Quit, because otherwise Toni’s character would’ve never thought to think of the long term. KLR wins, and I expect TakeOver: Dublin to have KLR VS Piper as they haven’t had a 1v1 match yet. I don’t know if Piper would win that after KLR did all this, because a KLR willing to go to this level needs a Face of a very high level and NXT UK hasn’t quite gotten there with Piper yet.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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