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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (7/11/20)

Who heads for Eventide?

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Legend of Zelda Hyrule Pro-Wrestling

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 5

Hyrule Puro-Resu arrives in Lanayru Bay! The Eventide challengers do battle to determine who sets sail for HPW Treasure Island in August!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Eventide Qualifier #1: Garo Master VS Yuga VS Ashei; Ashei wins, she and Garo advance.
  • Eventide Qualifier #2: King Moblin VS Master Kohga VS Groose; Kohga wins, he and Groose advance.
  • Eventide Qualifier #3: Zelda VS Fin Balure VS Rosso; Zelda wins, she and Fin advance.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS set the scene!

Summer is here and that means things are only heating up in Hyrule! Every champion in HPW, from Link the Triforce Champion to the Trios Champions, the Dark Forces, prepare for epic showdown after epic showdown at the brand new event known, “Treasure Island!” But the champions and contenders won’t be the only ones sailing to Eventide. Tonight, NINE challengers will compete in three separate Triple Threat matches to determine the Eventide Challenge’s field of six. That means the wrestlers who LOSE their matches are ELIMINATED! Who will move on to take on the biggest challenge in their careers? HPW Lanayru Bay starts now!

 

Eventide Qualifier #1: Garo Master VS Yuga VS Ashei!

Two participants in the Triforce Tournament and a rising name in Women’s Wrestling have been put together in this opening contest! The first chapter of the Eventide Challenge begins!

Fans chant for “Women’s Wrestling!” as Ashei stares down Garo and Yuga. Garo steps forward but Yuga holds up a hand right to Garo’s face. Yuga walks over to Ashei and looks her up and down. The Artist doesn’t seem to approve of Ashei’s big white knee and elbow pads, and really dislikes her bangs. He makes the mistake of flicking them, and Ashei grabs his arm! She wrenches to a wristlock and shifts to a keylock. Garo sweeps Ashei’s legs, she falls and brings Yuga down with her. Garo springboards to LYNEL-SAULT onto them both! Cover, TWO! Yuga sits up but Ashei grabs him for a ghost pin! TWO, and Yuga flounders to a corner. Garo runs in but Yuga slips out to the apron. Garo hits buckles and Yuga enziguris him back. Yuga steps-in springboards and hits Garo with a swinging Complete Shot! Cover, but Ashei drags him off.

Ashei hooks legs with Yuga but he flails his arms to avoid the surfboard. Garo springboards again to drop a leg on Yuga’s head! Garo grabs Yuga’s arms and chicken wings them for CATTLE MUTILATION! Ashei stomps Yuga’s knees, then jumps to STOMP Garo! Garo rolls away and Yuga clutches his knees. Ashei goes after Garo but he rolls out of the ring. Ashei turns back to Yuga and he ROCKS her with a right hand! Yuga rolls her up, and tries to pull of her knee pad? He hates them that much? Ashei kicks Yuga away and Garo returns to huricanrana Yuga out of the ring! Ashei swings on Garo but Garo ducks, runs and slides under to waistlock. Garo back suplexes but Ashei lands on her feet. Ashei mule kicks then front kicks then runs, but Yuga trips her up. Yuga spins her around, drags her out and RAMS her into barriers! Only to turn around into Garo’s PESCADO!

The fans fire up as Garo drags Yuga up and into the ring. Cover, TWO, and Garo looks to the outside as Ashei gets back up. Garo slingshots but Ashei gets clear! Garo lands on his feet, and Ashei KNEES him down! Yuga runs and baseball slides, but Ashei avoids that to spin him around on the apron. Ashei KNEES Yuga and the fans fire up. Ashei goes in, drags Yuga to a cover, TWO! Ashei keeps her cool as she brings Yuga up. She goes to suplex but Yuga blocks. Ashei throws body shots and tries again, but Yuga flails to resist again. Yuga suplexes but Ashei flails now. Ashei suplexes Yuga and gets him up! And holds him there! Ashei holds Yuga for a count of 10 before slamming him down! She floats to a cover, TWO! Garo runs in and huricanranas Ashei to a cover, TWO!

Garo swings a kick, Ashei ducks under it, but gets hits by the enziguri! Garo La Magistrols Ashei, TWO! Yuga rolls Ashei up, but Garo rolls Yuga up, only for Ashei to roll Garo up! TWO, and the three stand off. The fans cheer this great exchange as the three reset. The three carefully approach each other, and then Yuga just shoves Ashei aside and ROCKS Garo! Yuga double chicken wings Garo and lifts him for a TIGER SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Ashei KNEES Yuga out of the ring! Garo swings a kick, Ashei ducks it, and is ready for the enziguri this time! She catches it to an ANKLE LOCK! Garo flails about then rolls to throw Ashei away! Yuga returns and chop blocks Garo, but Ashei runs at Yuga. He avoids the knee this time, and he arm-drags Ashei on the return, to an armbar! Ashei clasps her hands, shifts around, and dead lifts Yuga! To POWERBOMB at Garo! Cover on Yuga, TWO! Cover on Garo, TWO!

The fans are fired up as Ashei keeps her eyes on both Garo and Yuga. Garo gets up first, so Ashei whips him to ropes. Garo reverses, Ashei ducks, dodges and LEAPING LARIATS! Yuga rushes over but Ashei kicks his clothesline away. She cravats Yuga and smashes him off her knee! She spins him around, STIFF neckbreaker! Cover, but Garo breaks it! Garo whips Ashei again but she holds ropes. Garo runs in but she back drops him up and out. He lands on the apron safely, but she dropkicks his legs out! Garo bumps off the apron and she goes back to Yuga. He flounders up into a kick, she suplexes him up, to bring him down for a KNEE! Cover, TWO!! Yuga survives and Ashei is shocked! She hurries to bring Yuga up and to a corner. She hoists him up to the top rope then climbs up to join him. Yuga throws body shots but Ashei clubs him on the back. Ashei gets an edge and brings Yuga up.

But Garo returns and climbs up behind Ashei! He waistlocks but she holds onto the ropes for dear life. She elbows Garo down but Yuga throws forearms. Ashei forearms back and the two brawl. Ashei gets the edge again, brings Yuga up, but Garo springs back up! SUPER GERMAN SUPERPLEX!! All three are down and the fans are losing their minds! The referee checks on all three wrestlers, and they’re all somehow okay to continue. A standing count begins and the crowd rallies up. All three stir as the count reaches 4. Garo rises first at 6, followed by Ashei at 7. Garo CHOPS Ashei, but she comes back with a big forearm. Garo CHOPS again, but Ashei forearms again. They keep brawling back and forth, picking up speed as the fans fire up!

Yuga rushes up behind Ashei, knocks her into Garo, then O’Conner rolls Ashei back! TWO as Ashei O’Conner rolls Yuga! TWO and Ashei is sent into Garo’s sunset flip! TWO and Ashei sits on the cover! TWO and Garo has the sunset flip back, to get Yuga’s basement BOOT! Yuga turns around into Ashei’s fireman’s carry! SNOWPEAK GUT BUSTER DROP! Cover, Ashei wins!!

Winner: Ashei, by pinfall (Yuga is ELIMINATED, Ashei and Garo advance)

The Artist is OUT! Garo Master and the soft spoken but hard hitting maiden are headed for Eventide! If this is just the beginning, what more can we expect from the other contenders next?

 

Eventide Qualifier #2: King Moblin VS Master Kohga VS Groose!

King Moblin fell in the Bracket of Power. The Yiga Clan leader failed to even enter the Bracket of Wisdom. And we know that the Skyfall Stud held the Death Mountain Championship for a fleeting moment. Who will taste bitter defeat yet again in this newest of second chances?

The bell rings and Kohga bails out already, motioning for Moblin and Groose to fight first. Groose shouts at Kohga but Moblin clobbers Groose from behind! Moblin brings Groose up and puts him in a corner, but then he sees Kohga coming. Kohga stops in his tracks and backs off apologetically but then he points at Groose. Moblin turns around but Kohga rolls him up! TWO and Moblin is furious with Kohga. Kohga bails out again and Groose waistlocks Moblin. Groose lifts but Moblin elbows out. Moblin whips Groose to a corner, Groose elbows back, Kohga springboards to flying knee Moblin! Moblin drops to a knee, Groose runs up and clotheslines him from behind! Groose covers but he sees Kohga coming and gets out of the way, Kohga drops a back senton onto Moblin!

Groose facelocks Kohga and drags him up. Groose suplexes Kohga and uses a gourd buster to slam him onto Moblin! Kohga clutches his stomach but Groose drags him back up and reels him in. Groose POWERBOMBS Kohga onto Moblin now! Groose covers Moblin, ONE!? Moblin is tougher than Groose thought! Groose heads to a corner and climbs up as the fans fire up. Groose aims at Moblin and leaps for a MACHO ELBOW! Direct hit and cover, TWO! Groose is surprised but he tries again. He climbs up top, but Kohga SHORYUKENS him first! Kohga drags Groose out to a fireman’s carry, to turn around and Death Valley Drive Groose into the buckles! Kohga puts Groose in the Tree of Woe, but Moblin comes up and grabs him in a waistlock! Kohga flails but Moblin GERMAN SUPLEXES Kohga into Groose! Groose flops out of the Tree of Woe while Moblin roars.

The fans duel, “MOB~LIN!” “Let’s Go, Groose!” “MOB~LIN!” “Let’s Go, Groose!” If there are Kohga chants, they’re being drowned out. Moblin drags Groose around by his leg. Moblin grabs a knee and SMASHES it into the mat! Groose clutches the knee but Moblin grabs it again to YANK on the leg. Moblin drags Groose to a corner and SWINGS the leg into the post! The fans boo as Moblin SLAMS the leg on the apron. Moblin soaks up the heat then grabs the leg again, but Groose pulls him into the post! Then Kohga triangle PLANCHAS! Down goes Moblin! Kohga hurries back up to the apron and slingshot sentons onto Groose! La Magistrol, TWO! Groose hobbles but Kohga KICKS the bad leg out! Kohga grabs the leg for a grounded DRAGON SCREW!

Fans rally for Groose as he crawls along the ropes. Kohga stomps the bad leg, then wraps it on the ropes! Kohga pulls and the ref can’t do anything about it, no disqualifications in a Triple Threat. Groose kicks at Kohga with his good leg and gets him to let go. Moblin returns to BOOT Kohga down! Kohga flops out of the ring so Moblin stomps Groose into the corner. Moblin stomps a mudhole, fires up then runs corner to corner. Moblin hits Groose with a corner hip attack! Cover, but Kohga drags Moblin out of the ring! And throat chops him! Kohga RAMS Moblin into railing, then RAMS him into the apron. Kohga hops back up onto the apron, leaps and huricanranas Moblin into the railing! Fans are fired up with Kohga as he goes back into the ring. Groose grabs Kohga for a DDT outta nowhere! Cover, TWO!! Groose is immediately frustrated that getting the drop on Kohga was enough.

Groose refocuses and brings Kohga back up. Kohga breaks free, throws slapping palm strikes, and mule kicks the bad leg out! Kohga runs but Groose runs him over! Groose shakes out the bad leg before he runs, but Kohga stays low, then hurdles then dropkicks, only for Groose to catch the legs! Kohga hits the mat, Groose takes aim, and catapults Kohga into a corner! Kohga hits buckles, staggers and Groose double chicken wings. Groose turns Kohga but Kohga pushes him away. Groose turns around into an eye poke! The ref reprimands but Kohga “apologizes” before he POSTS Groose! Roll up, with tights! TWO, and Groose flounders blindly. Kohga sees Moblin getting back on the apron so he builds speed. Moblin jumps over the baseball slide and Kohga slides all the way out. Moblin CANNONBALLS off the apron and wipes out Kohga!

Moblin hurries into the ring to go after Groose. He grabs Groose’s shoulder, RIGHT HAND OF THE GODDESS!! Groose decks Moblin outta nowhere! Cover, TWO!! Groose can’t believe his power punch has failed him again! The fans are still rallying for Groose as he brings Moblin up with the double chicken wings. Groose and Moblin fight for control, Groose turns him, but Moblin turns it back! Moblin STEALS LOFT WING DROP!! Kohga 450 splashes outta nowhere onto Moblin!! Cover, Kohga wins!!

Winner: Master Kohga, by pinfall (King Moblin is ELIMINATED, Kohga and Groose advance)

The Yiga leader strikes at the most opportune time to take out the biggest wrestler in the running! Will he use a similar strategy to grab the prize on Eventide? As for Groose, he survives thanks to Kohga’s cunning, will he “thank” Master Kohga properly on Treasure Island?

 

Eventide Qualifier #3: Zelda VS Fin Balure VS Rosso!

Controversy has followed the Princess of Hyrule wherever she goes these days. First being found out as the masked wrestler Sheik during the Triforce Championship Tournament Finals, followed by being given an opportunity at the Goddess Championship, and now this chance at Treasure Island. Favoritism or fate, it doesn’t matter as she must still survive this match to earn her ticket to Eventide! Will the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla and Stone Breaker be the ones to stop her good fortune?

Before the bell, Fin walks up to Zelda. “You’re the princess, huh? Well then call me The Prince. Only one of us is taken the throne, and it ain’t you.” Rosso walks over and pushes Fin away, telling him to show respect. Fin cools off, turns around to take his jacket off, and PELES Ross down! The ref rings the bell and Fin throws his jacket at Zelda! She fumbles with it while Fin covers Rosso, TWO! Zelda throws Fin’s jacket back at him before going after him with kicks and clubbing forearms! She backs him down to a corner but he slips out to the apron. Fin enziguris Zelda away then hurries after her. Fin grabs an arm and grinds on the shoulder, but Zelda rolls, rolls back, and handsprings forward to arm-drag him away! Fin flounders up, she arm-drags him again! He fakes her out on the third, grabs the arm again, but she kicks him away and gets distance.

Rosso gets up, shaking out the cobwebs. Fin keeps his distance as things reset. Die hard fans cheer on ol’ Rosso as he gets to his feet. Rosso glares at Fin and storms his way over. Fin backs himself into a corner but avoids Rosso’s grip to CHOP! Rosso just shrugs it off! Fin CHOPS again, and again, but Rosso just eggs him on! Zelda also eggs Fin on but Fin shouts at her to shut up. Rosso uses this distraction to headbutt Fin! Fin staggers into Zelda’s shotgun dropkick and that sends him out of the ring. Zelda stares Rosso down as she gets back to her feet, and now these two circle. Fans duel as they tie up, and Zelda tries to wrench his arm, but Rosso doesn’t budge. He whips Zelda to ropes but Zelda holds ropes to fake out his back drop. She kicks him then runs, tilt-o-whirls but Rosso blocks the DDT with pure strength! Rosso brings Zelda up to flapjack toss her away!

Fin returns to stomp Rosso’s leg! Rosso hobbles and Fin keeps stomping. Fin stomps Rosso into a corner, Rosso grabs at him, but Fin swats the hands away to CHOP him again. Rosso still doesn’t flinch from that, and turns things around in the corner. Fin avoids Rosso’s clubbing hand to CHOP again. Still nothing! Zelda gets up and hurries over, but Fin hits her first with a haymaker. Rosso clamps onto Fin’s shoulders but Fin PELES again! Fin climbs up to rain down clubbing forearms but Rosso carries him out on his shoulder! Rosso pops Fin into a fireman’s carry, TKO NECKBREAKER! But Zelda returns to DROP-SAULT! Cover on Fin, TWO! Zelda hurries to La Magistrol, TWO! Rosso gets up as Zelda sunset flips Fin. Fin rolls through and basement dropkicks Zelda back! Only for Rosso to POUNCE him away! Fans lose their minds as Fin flops out of the ring.

Rosso brings Zelda up by her arm and actually stands her up respectfully. The two nod at each other respectfully, but Zelda tries to arm-drag Rosso! Rosso doesn’t even budge, and he just looks down at her with some disappointment. He YANKS her back up, has her in bomb position, but she fights out fast! Zelda KICKS Rosso in the leg, then again, but he stays up. He hobbles a little as they circle, rushes in but Zelda gets around to jump up for a sleeper hold! Rosso claws at the hold but Zelda squeezes tight. Zelda manages to trap one arm with a leg, but Rosso uses that to get her up to an Electric Chair! Zelda flails and goes back, but the Poison-Rana is blocked! Rosso swings Zelda forward, but she counters the Inverted Hebra Slam into a VICTORY ROLL! Cover, TWO! Zelda gets up, and Fin BLASTS her with a shotgun dropkick!

Fin stomps a mudhole into Zelda in a corner and doesn’t have to stop because of no disqualifications! The fans boo but Fin tunes them out as he fires up. Fin runs corner to corner, and leaps for the hesitation dropkick! Cover, but Rosso drags him off and reels him in for a dead lift wheelbarrow suplex! Rosso stalks Fin as he flounders to a corner, then brings him up for a DOUBLE CHOP! Fin gasps for air but Rosso stands him back up to then put on the top rope. Rosso single hand CHOPS again, and Fin almost falls to the floor below! Rosso sits Fin back up and brings him out on his shoulders, primed for a Muscle Buster! Rosso walks around with Fin but turns into Zelda’s SUPERKICK! Rosso falls back and Fin still hits the mat in a falling Muscle Buster! Zelda covers Rosso, TWO! She covers Fin, TWO!! Zelda grows frustrated but calms down as she watches the other two stir.

Rosso sits up while Fin bails out. Zelda KICKS Rosso in the back, but Rosso just seethes as he stands up. Zelda kicks, Rosso blocks, and gets up and under to bring her up! Rosso aims for a corner, but Zelda huricanranas to send him into buckles! Zelda runs corner to corner then runs back, to dropkick Rosso into buckles! Zelda keeps moving, goes corner to corner again, for another dropkick! Rosso sits down, Zelda keeps moving, METEORA! She drags Rosso to the cover, TWO! Zelda grows frustrated again but she steps on Rosso to go to the corner. She hops up to the second rope, for a somersault senton! Cover, TWO! Zelda drags Rosso around by a leg, hooks it up, and drops for a snap deathlock! She cranks back but Rosso endures, so she gets up and drops for another! Rosso still endures, even as she kicks at the knee with her other leg.

Rosso crawls for ropes, but Fin slingshots in to STOMP him down! And stomps, and stomps, and even springboard stomps! Zelda protests as she struggles to unhook legs. Fin keeps dropping springboard stomps, but then Zelda catches him midair and dumps him out to the apron! Zelda grabs Rosso’s arm for La Magistrol, TWO! Rosso sits up, Zelda BUZZSAWS him down! Cover, but Fin drags her off! She kicks at him through the bottom rope but he goes up and slingshots in again! Zelda avoids the stomp, but she swings into a back suplex, that he turns into a toss into the corner! She bounces off buckles, Fin trips her up, DOUBLE STOMPS! Fin hurries to the corner, but Rosso clobbers him at the apron!

Rosso climbs up and brings Fin to the corner. He brings Fin up, but Fin grabs the ropes for dear life! Rosso keeps trying for his superplex but Fin even wraps a leg around the corner to hold it off. Rosso clubs Fin on the back over and over then tries again. Rosso gets Fin up for a stalling SUPERPLEX! But Zelda covers Fin! Rosso breaks it up in time, and glares down at Zelda. He pump handles Zelda and dead lifts her for a HUGE Fall Away Slam! Zelda crashes down halfway across the ring! Rosso storms over as Zelda flounders to the ropes, brings her up, and DOUBLE CHOPS! Zelda sits down and falls back, but her legs keep her from hitting the floor as they hook the middle rope!

Rosso reaches through the ropes to bring her back up, but she grabs him for a hanging guillotine! The ref reprimands, not because there’s disqualifications but because there’s still a ropebreak, no submissions count outside the ring. Rosso starts to fade, Zelda lets go and pushes him back in the ring. She covers, TWO! Rosso still lives but Zelda keeps her focus. She watches Rosso slowly stand up, but Fin grabs her for a dragon sleeper! Zelda flails and spins out, ROCKS him with a forearm, and feeds him to Rosso! Rosso pops Fin up for a POWERSLAM! Zelda jumps up to POISON-RANA Rosso!! IMPA LOCK!! Rosso flails, reaches, fades out, ZELDA WINS!

Winner: Zelda, by submission (Rosso is ELIMINATED, Zelda and Fin Balure advance)

The Princess of Hyrule earns her spot in the Eventide Challenge match at Treasure Island! The Prince comes along for the ride, but which wrestling royal takes the throne?

Zelda is given the mic to speak to the audience. She seems a bit surprised and maybe reluctant, but she takes a deep breath to begin. “Lanayru Bay! We have our Eventide Six!” The fans cheer and Zelda thinks on what else to say. “I should say that I’m proud to see I’m not the only woman wrestler selected for the field of nine. And I’m glad to see I won’t be the only woman in the Eventide Challenge match.” Ashei is a great wrestler, she deserves to be in this match, and Zelda looks forward to competing against her. In fact, Zelda looks forward to facing all the opponents in the match. But before she can praise the other finalists, Fin interrupts on a mic on the outside. “Take yer praise and shove it!” Fans boo but Fin keeps going.

“You think I care that you’re so happy for us?” If it’s true, then Zelda’s a fool. If it’s not, then Zelda’s a snake. Either way, Fin warns Zelda, he warns “that chick with the weird hair,” and all the others in this match. He’s going to cut down anyone that gets in his way, grab that prize, and then go after whoever leaves the island Triforce Champion. Then he won’t just be the Zora Prince, he’ll be the Zora KING.

But wait! The other competitors return from backstage! Ashei and Garo Master, as well as Master Kohga and Groose! Groose wants Fin to say that all to his face while getting in Fin’s face. “Back off, big man, or I’m gonna cook that cucco on your head and serve it to ya!” Referees rush in to keep this from breaking down into a brawl. Fin leaves through the crowd while Groose is kept at ringside, and both Garo and Kohga laugh and applaud the “comedy” they’re seeing before them. Tensions are mounting between the Eventide Six already, what happens when it finally explodes at Treasure Island?


My Thoughts:

Turns out three Triple Threats takes quite a lot to come up with. And thinking about it like a real wrestling promotion, there should’ve been another event booked between this and the Treasure Island event I have planned, but that would really only feature filler matches like a Six Person Tag involving the Eventide Challenge participants. It’s standard formula but it’s still filler. I probably do need to consider having those, because real promotions would at least give their world champion “tune up” matches. Link could probably benefit from having easy squash matches, or even a match in the vein of Jon Moxley “struggling” against Robert Anthony. But that’d also be a lot of extra work that I can’t always give time to. Maybe I can figure something out as we still have months left in the year.


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Bandwagon Nerds #202: Bridger Over Troubled Water

Grand Admiral Thrawn and Ezra Bridger finally made their live-action debuts and BWN breaks it all down for you.

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario
Bandwagon Nerds #202: Bridger Over Troubled Water

The Nerds return to break down one of the biggest events in recent Star Wars history. Ahsoka, Episode 6, featured the long-awaited live action debuts of Grand Admiral Thrawn and Ezra Bridger. The emergence of these two iconic characters represents a seismic shift in the Star Wars Universe and sets the stage for a massive final 2 Episodes of Ahsoka…as well as for what is coming down the pike. A visit to the Trailer Park looks at the latest from A24, plus new trailers for Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, and BWN’s favorite band of misfits as we got our first look at the final episodes of Doom Patrol. All that plus the unexpected end of the Writer’s Strike? For the first time in months, there is reason to be optimistic and we have all the details for you here on Bandwagon Nerds.

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (9/23/23)

Race towards fate!

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The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 47

To guarantee spots in the Hyrule Warriors match at Clash of Fates, eight up and coming names make their HPW debuts! Who will be this year’s Dark Horses?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Blaino VS The Grim Creeper; Creeper wins and advances to the Hyrule Warriors match.
  • Avalaunch VS Thunderbird; Thunderbird wins and advances to the Hyrule Warriors match.
  • Freezlord VS CRAGMA; Freezlord wins and advances to the Hyrule Warriors match.
  • Yunobo VS Dinalfos; Double Count Out Draw, both advance to the Hyrule Warriors match.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

As the year continues into the Fall, new stars shall rise! Eight Dark Horses run the race, but only four are going to advance to Clash of Fates. Place your bets and hope you’re right! Who will be celebrating victories tonight? HPW Dark Horse Stampede on Irch Plain starts now!

 

Blaino VS The Grim Creeper!

Float like a butterfly, sing like a bee, this boxer looks to get a 1-2-3. But instead of three cheers, will there be a funeral march?

The bell rings and Blaino puts up his dukes. Blaino and Creeper circle, Blaino throws some testing jabs, but Creeper keeps his distance. They continue to circle, fans rally up, and Blaino fires off a flurry! Creeper guards and backs up to a corner, and the ref has Blaino back off. Blaino eggs Creeper on, Creeper gets out of the corner, and the two reset. Fans rally again as they circle. Blaino throws more hands but Creeper stays back. Creeper ends up on the ropes, but he ducks a haymaker to get a leg! Roll-up, TWO! Creeper stays low, goes for another leg, but Blaino throws down some punches! Creeper trips Blaino and has a toehold!

Blaino endures, throws down some hammering hands, but Creeper pulls on the foot. Blaino scrambles and gets the ROPEBREAK. The ref counts, Creeper lets off at 4 and Blaino gets to his feet in a huff. Fans rally as the two reset again, and Creeper is staying low. Creeper wants after the leg again but Blaino is wary. Creeper shoots in again, Blaino throws some quick hands and he ROCKS Creeper! Blaino fires off fast hands and he has Creeper stumbling to ropes! The ref has Blaino back off and Creeper bails out of the ring. Blaino waits while the ref starts the ring count. Creeper steadies himself and takes his time returning.

The count reaches 5 of 10 while Creeper paces. Blaino eggs Creeper on, Creeper goes around the corner, and then slides in at 7. Blaino storms up but Creeper slips right back out! Creeper then trips Blaino and drags him out of the ring! Creeper shoves Blaino into the railing, then knees him low! The ref reprimands but fans fire up as Creeper brings Blaino around and throws him into more railing! The ref starts another ring count as Creeper stomps Blaino against the railing. Creeper leaves Blaino behind at 4 of 10 and slides into the ring. Creeper soaks up the cheers and jeers while Blaino drags himself up with the railing.

Blaino staggers over at 6 of 10, leans against the apron, and rolls in at 8. Creeper is right on him with stomps! The ref counts, Creeper drags Blaino up and whips him to ropes. Creeper then scoops Blaino, but Blaino slips free to ROCK him with another right! Fans fire up while both men stagger. Blaino storms up but Creeper THROAT CHOPS! Fans boo while Blaino sputters, and Creeper rolls him up again! TWO, and Blaino flounders to a corner. Creeper storms up to stomp a mudhole into him. The ref counts, Creeper lets off, but then he basement dropkicks Blaino in the corner! Creeper drags Blaino out to a cover, TWO!

Fans rally up, “Let’s Go, Blaino!” as he crawls. Creeper drags Blaino up, CLUBS him to ropes, then ROCKS him with a right of his own. Creeper whips Blaino, only to reel him into a COBRA TWIST! Fans rally as Blaino endures! Creeper tells the ref to ask Blaino if he quits, the ref does ask and Blaino shakes his head. Creeper reaches out to hold ropes for more leverage! Fans boo, but Creeper lets go before the ref sees. Creeper digs his elbow into Blaino’s ribs, the ref asks Blaino again but again Blaino shakes his head. Creeper reaches out again, for more leverage with the ropes! The fans boo, and the ref almost catches Creeper!

The ref suspects something and talks with Creeper. Creeper defends his innocence, but then Blaino powers up to hip toss free! Fans fire up while Blaino staggers back. Creeper gets to his feet, Blaino JABS! And JABS! A one-two, then another one two! Blaino fires off body shots and fans fire up as he backs Creeper down! Blaino fires up and reels back, but Creeper STOMPS Blaino’s foot! Blaino clutches that leg and Creeper shoots around to waistlock, for a DANGEROUS SAIDO! Creeper stalks Blaino while fans are torn. Blaino staggers up, into a REAR NAKED CHOKE! Creeper drops back to have body scissors! Blaino fails, but he’s caught! Blaino taps, Creeper wins!

Winner: The Grim Creeper, by submission (advances to Clash of Fates)

The #CreeperSleeper puts away the punchy Blaino, but he isn’t letting go! The ref tells him to let off, Creeper lets off about five seconds after that. Fans boo as Creeper heads up the ramp, soaking it all in as he goes. Wait, who’s that on stage now? Ted Beedle Ossi? What’s he doing here? Creeper wonders, too, and then Beedle holds out an UnderWorld Order shirt! Fans are torn again, and Creeper accepts! Creeper is now UWO! Beedle raises Creeper’s hand in victory, and the two head out. Will the UWO take over HPW through the Clash of Fates?

 

Avalaunch VS Thunderbird!

Big, blocky and bulky, #Dekudon promised to “crush, smash, mash, bash and otherwise break whoever” he is up against! Will he start doing just that here tonight? Or will El Pájaro Enmascarado, The Masked Bird, fly high overhead?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Thunderbird waistlocks but Avalaunch wrenches to an ELBOW BREAKER. Thunderbird rolls and gets away and fans rally up. The two tie up again, Avalaunch wrenches the arm but Thunderbird headlocks to a takeover. Avalaunch headscissors but Thunderbird kips free and the two stand off. Fans rally as the two circle again. They feel things out, tie up, and Avalaunch is after the arm again. Avalaunch wrenches to clamp onto the shoulder, steps over, and hooks Thunderbird down with a leg. Thunderburd endures, fights around, kips up, but Avalunch wrangles Thunderbird down.

Thunderbird rolls, bridges, breaks free but Avalunch deflects the dropkick! Avalaunch headlocks, Thunderbird powers up but can’t power out as Avalaunch holds tight. Thunderbird powers up again, cartwheels free, and has a cravat! Avalaunch powers up but now he can’t power out as Thunderbird holds tight. Thunderbird grind Avalaunch down but Avalaunch fights up, pulls Thunderbird’s beak, then scoops to SLAM him! Cover, TWO! Thunderbird bridges to snapmare to a cover, TWO! Thunderbird keeps the cravat, Avalaunch powers up but Thunderbird flying mares! Cover, TWO! Avalaunch digs his knee brace into Thunderbird’s face!

The ref reprimands but Avalaunch gets up to whips and CLOBBER Thunderbird! Cover, TWO! Avalaunch pushes Thunderbird down to another cover, TWO! Avalaunch stomps Thunderbird in the corner and digs his boot in. The ref counts, Avalaunch lets off and soaks up the heat from fans. Avalaunch stands Thunderbird up to smother him with forearms. The ref reprimands, the fans boo, but Avalaunch lets off with a BIG back elbow! Avalaunch pushes Thunderbird down and clamps his hands on Thunderbird’s head for a neck wrench! Avalaunch pulls on the mask for more leverage but the ref reprimands.

Avalaunch pushes Thunderbird down and jumps to drop a BIG elbow! Cover, TWO! Avalaunch is annoyed, and he drags Thunderbird up to whip him to a corner. Thunderbird goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Then he DROPKICKS Avalaunch! Avalaunch staggers up, Thunderbird runs up but Avalaunch throws Thunderbird up and over the ropes! Thunderbird lands on the apron, springboards back in, but Avalaunch catches him! Avalaunch carries Thunderbird around, before a FALL AWAY SLAM! Putting the launch in his name right there! Thunderbird tumbles to ropes and Avalaunch storms over to him.

Avalaunch stands on Thunderbird’s face at the ropes and fans boo. The ref reprimands and counts, but then Thunderbird twists Avalaunch’s foot! Avalaunch hobbles and falls back as Thunderbird stands up! Thunderbird twists the toehold but Avalaunch boots him away with his free leg! Thunderbird rebounds but into a kitchen sink knee! Avalaunch brings Thunderbird around with double underhooks, and BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO! Thunderbird hangs in there but Avalaunch clamps on with a chinlock. Avalaunch grinds Thunderbird down but fans rally up. Thunderbird fights up, but Avalaunch drags him back down!

Thunderbird endures, kicks around, and even slaps at Avalaunch. Avalaunch lets off the hold to SLAP Thunderbird! Avalaunch gets the legs, and he turns Thunderbird over for a SAND CRAB! Thunderbird endures, fans rally up, and Thunderbird powers up to roll through! Thunderbird sits up to get up and over and sunset flip! TWO, Thunderbird goes for legs but Avalaunch TOSSES him aside! Thunderbird lands on his feet, cartwheels past a boot, and he ENZIGURIS back! Avalaunch staggers up, into a FLYING KICK! Avalaunch tumbles out of the ring, and something seems familiar about that kick.

Thunderbird sees Avalaunch stagger up at the ramp, and he builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit and fans fire up again! Thunderbird hurries to put Avalaunch in the ring, and he climbs up the corner! SUPREME FLOW! Cover, TWO!! Avalaunch survives but Thunderbird takes aim. Thunderbird runs in, but Avalaunch gets around him! GERMAN SUPLEX! But Thunderbird lands on his feet! FLYING KICK!! Cover, Thunderbird wins!

Winner: Thunderbird, by pinfall (advances to Clash of Fates)

So much for crushing, smashing and bashing! Thunderbird strikes Avalaunch down, will he be able to do the same to 32 others in the Hyrule Warriors match?

 

Freezlord VS CRAGMA!

Hot and cold, fire and ice, it is a battle as old as time, and now it happens here in the ring! Will the cold-blooded Freezlord bring an early Winter? Or will the Lava Lord start a second Summer sizzle?

The bell rings and fans rally up as the two stare down. They snarl, and Cragma storms up to take a big swing! Freezlord blocks, body shots, but Cragma ducks the heel kick and jumps the leg sweep! They stand off, Cragma SPITS at Freezlord! Freezlord avoids the hot saliva and then SOBATS Cragma low! Fans rally up as Freezlord BOOTS then arm-drags Cragma! Cragma staggers up into a THRUST KICK! Freezlord whips Cragma to then back drop him away! Fans fire up with Freezlord as he drags Cragma up, but Cragma ROCKS Freezlord! Cragma stalks Freezlord to ropes and ROCKS him with a haymaker!

Cragma kicks Freezlord down, eggs him on, and then lines up a shot to ROCK him with another haymaker! Freezlord staggers but Cragma DECKS him with another right! Cragma soaks up the heat from the fans, and then he takes aim again. Cragma runs up but Freezlord sweeps the legs! Fans rally as Freezlord then HEEL KICKS Cragma down! Cover, TWO! Freezlord whips, Cragma ducks and slides out of the ring to soak up more heat. But Freezlord triangle jump DROPKICKS Cragma down! Fans cheer and Cragma staggers back up, into a PLANCHA! Freezlord drags Cragma up, calls his shot, and he suplexes Cragma high and hard to the floor!

Freezlord hurries to put Cragma in the ring, then he covers, TWO! Freezlord is frustrated but goes to the apron. Freezlord springboards, but Cragma gets under! Cragma rebounds to POUNCE Freezlord out of the ring! Fans rally up for Freezlord while he goes to railings and drags himself up. Cragma storms out after Freezlord, eggs him on, and then SMACKS him off the railing! Freezlord slumps over and Cragma refreshes the ring count. Cragma drags Freezlord up, fireman’s carries, and he goes up the steel steps, so SNAKE EYES Freezlord off the apron! Cragma then goes up the corner, just to soak up more heat.

Cragma then hops down to get Freezlord into the ring, and he slingshots in to LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Cragma argues the count with the ref but the ref defends it was fair. Cragma goes to ropes, and he SPRINGBOARD LEG DROPS but FLOPS as Freezlord moves! Cragma clutches his tailbone as he staggers up. Freezlord PALM STRIKES! And again! Freezlord whips, but Cragma steps over the back drop for a FAMOUSER! Cover, TWO! Freezlord is still in this and Cragma grows frustrated. Cragma eggs Freezlord on, kicks him around, and then drags him up. Freezlord UPPERCUTS! And BACKHANDS! But Cragma BOOTS him down!

Cragma whips, Freezlord reverses, but Cragma just steps over again! FAMOUS- NO, Freezlord powers out to a POWERBOMB! Fans fire up while both men are down! A standing count starts, both elementals stir, and they both stand at 5 of 10! LEG SWEEP from Freezlord! Freezlord then drags Cragma up to whip, follow, and SOMERSAULT UPPERCUT! Fans rally as Freezlord whips Cragma, scoops him and tilt-o-whirl SLAMS him! Fans fire up as Freezlord runs in, leap frogs, and CALF KICKS! Cover, TWO! Freezlord whips again and follows, but Cragma stops himself to ROUNDHOUSE Freezlord down!

Fans fire up again as both men are on the mat! A standing count starts again, Cragma crawls over to cover, TWO!! Freezlord almost didn’t kick out of that, but Cragma is roaring! Cragma goes up the corner, fans are torn as he stands, but Freezlord hits the ropes to trip him up! Cragma lands on his volcano! Freezlord hurries after Cragma, ELBOWS him, then climbs up to bring him up. SUPERPLEX! Cover, TWO! Cragma is still in this but Freezlord hurries up top! Cragma stands, Freezlord FLYING- NO, NORTHERN LIGHTS COUNTER! Bridging cover, TWO!! Cragma is beside himself, but he hurries to get Freezlord up. JAWBREAKER from Freezlord!

Freezlord hurries up top again, he wants to hit the mark! But Cragma dodges the flying lariat again! But Freezlord rolls through, goes up the other corner, to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Cragma gets out of that one but Freezlord takes aim! But Cragma uses the ref as a shield! Fans boo as Freezlord is cooled off there. Freezlord moves the ref aside, and Cragma mule kicks to then SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Freezlord survives again and fans rally up again! Cragma drags Freezlord up, whips him hard into a corner, and then takes aim. Cragma runs in, but Freezlord dodges and the boot gets caught up in the ropes!

Cragma hobbles out of the corner, into a BACKFLIP KICK!! Cover, Freezlord wins!

Winner: Freezlord, by pinfall (advances to Clash of Fates)

The ice in his veins did not melt, and now Freezlord is headed to Clash of Fates! Winter is coming, will 32 other Hyrule Warriors end up out in the cold?

 

Yunobo VS Dinalfos!

A third generation Goron wrestler takes on a physical specimen who set a new standard at the Training Center. This is truly a big way to end the Stampede, who will be the final Dark Horse heading to the Coliseum?

Yunobo is a bit shy as he makes his entrance, and also slow rolls into the ring. Dinalfos gets in Yunobo’s face, and Yunobo gulps before putting on a tough face. The ref has them back off, the bell rings, and fans rally up as Yunobo and Dinalfos approach again. Dinalfos UPPERCUTS Yunobo right down! Fans rally for Yunobo but Dinalfos drags him up to put into a corner. Dinalfos CLUBS Yunobo again and again and again, then fires off forearms and body shots and fast hands! The ref counts, Dinalfos lets off and brings Yunobo out to short arm LARIAT! Fans boo Dinalfos as he looms over Yunobo.

Dinalfos sits Yunobo up and wraps him up in a seated abdominal stretch! Yunobo endures, fights as the fans rally, and Yunobo throws body shots in return! Yunobo is free, he runs, and rolls Dinalfos up, TWO! Dinalfos CLOBBERS Yunobo! Dinalfos roars and soaks up the heat before he drags Yunobo up, whips him to a corner, and then SPLASHES! Yunobo falls over and Dinalfos soaks up more heat. Dinalfos drags Yunobo up to whip to ropes, but Yunobo manages a sunset flip! But Dinalfos stands up, breaks free, and hits a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Dinalfos snarls and CHOKES Yunobo!

The ref reprimands and counts, Dinalfos lets off, then covers again, TWO! Dinalfos tries another cover, TWO! Dinalfos snarls again as he brings Yunobo up. Dinalfos suplexes, but Yunobo fights it with flailing kicks! Dinalfos tries again, but again Yunobo fights it. Yunobo then suplexes Dinalfos up and over! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Yunobo runs, to LARIAT! Yunobo starts rallying with big clotheslines! Yunobo is starting to fire up, and he fires haymakers on Dinalfos! Dinalfos knees low! Dinalfos runs, but Yunobo ducks the clothesline to hit a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans rally while Dinalfos goes to a corner.

Yunobo gets up and he looks around, wondering what to do. He signals with his hands for some rolling and fans fire up! Yunobo runs in, CANNONBALL but Dinalfos moves! Yunobo only hits buckles, and Rusl jokes that the ring might’ve shifted towards that direction. Dinalfos drags Yunobo out of the ring, and RAMS him into railing! Those also shift from the impact! Dinalfos CLUBS away on Yunobo’s back while the ref starts the ring count. Dinalfos brings Yunobo back up and whips him hard into more railing! Those railings definitely move, and Dinalfos leaves Yunobo behind for the count to take care of!

Fans rally for Yunobo as the count climbs to 5 of 10! Yunobo drags himself up with the railing to stand at 7, hobbles over at 8, and he rolls in at 9! Only for Dinalfos to stomp him right at the ropes! Fans boo as Dinalfos CHOKES Yunobo on the ropes, but he lets off as the ref counts. Dinalfos mocks Yunobo, “All that size and you can’t do anything with it! Hope your family isn’t watching!” Fans boo and Dinalfos runs to SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Yunobo survives, and he looks upset! Fans rally for Yunobo but Dinalfos stomps Yunobo. Dinalfos drags Yunobo to a corner, goes up, and FALLING SPLASHES! Cover, ONE!?!

Fans are going nuts and Dinalfos is shocked! Dinalfos CLUBS Yunobo, grabs a leg, and SMASHES the knee! Dinalfos puts on a HALF CRAB! Yunobo endures, fans rally as he crawls and reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Dinalfos holds until the ref counts 4, then he drags Yunobo up. Dinalfos scoops Yunobo! That’s his combine record setting strength! But Yunobo slips free and he scoops Dinalfos back! Yunobo SLAMS Dinalfos! Fans fire up and Yunobo is feeling it now! Yunobo stalks Dinalfos to a corner, but Dinalfos throws haymakers! Dinalfos backs Yunobo down, whips, but Yunobo reverses, only for Dinalfos to KNEE SMASH! And then he CLOBBERS Yunobo!

Fans boo as Dinalfos talks a bunch of trash on Yunobo’s family! Dinalfos then eggs Yunobo on, dares him to stand, and Yunobo does. Dinalfos kicks low, and he manages to suplex Yunobo up and over! Dinalfos roars, runs, and drops a JUMPING ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Yunobo is still in this, but Dinalfos is furious! Dinalfos stands Yunobo up, ROCKS him to a corner, then stomps a mudhole in! The ref counts, Dinalfos lets off, only to run in and stomp Yunobo more! Dinalfos storms around, fans are booing as hard as they can, but Dinalfos runs and RAMS into Yunobo! Dinalfos stands Yunobo up, RAMS into him again, and repeat!

The ref counts again, Dinalfos stops at 4, and he whips Yunobo corner to corner! But Yunobo bounces off buckles to NECKBREAKER DROP! Yunobo crawls to a cover, TWO! Both men rise up, and they start throwing hands! Fans rally behind Yunobo, he whips, but Dinalfos whips to kick low! Dinalfos underhooks, but Yunobo back drops him up and out of the ring! Fans fire up as Yunobo goes out to stomp on Dinalfos! Yunobo’s rage is boiling and fans are loving it! Yunobo goes back for Dinalfos, but Dinalfos YANKS him into steel steps! Fans fire up but the ring count is climbing as Dinalfos drags Yunobo back up.

Dinalfos whips Yunobo, but Yunobo reverses! Dinalfos goes crashing into railing! That definitely moved things around! Fans are loving this as Yunobo storms up, but we’re past 5 of 10! Yunobo’s rage is getting the better of him as he drags Dinalfos up. Yunobo whips but Dinalfos reverses, and Yunobo goes crashing into steel steps! The steps go tumbling away! Fans rally up as hard they can and Yunobo staggers up to his feet. And then Dinalfos SPEARS him through railing!! Fans lose their minds and even commentary is completely stunned by it! But the ring count is still climbing! The ref hits TEN, it’s a DOUBLE COUNT OUT!!

Double Count Out Draw

Fans are going nuts again, and some are upset! What does a draw mean for the Dark Horse Stampede? Speaking of upset, Dinalfos and Yunobo get up and keep throwing hands! Did they not hear the bell? They go around commentary and Dinalfos RAMS Yunobo into the apron! Yunobo CLUBS and hammers Dinalfos, security rushes out to stop this! Wait, here comes HPW COO, Humpback Hook Halibut! Hook’s very involved in the HPW Training Center which many of these Dark Horses pass through. Hook talks with the ref and the ring announcer. And as the announcer tells us, Hook has decided this draw means BOTH men advance to Clash of Fates!!

Fans cheer again and this news helps calm Dinalfos and Yunobo down. So now we have five Dark Horses entering the Hyrule Warriors match despite the field only being eight. Then will Dinalfos and Yunobo be able to settle this fight within the massive battle royal? Will any of the Dark Horses make it to the end?


My Thoughts:

I did my best to get this done a bit quickly, in anticipation of Clash of Fates being a bigger endeavor because of the Hyrule Warriors match, but also because my schedule’s rather busy and I wanted to make sure I didn’t wait until the last minute. It was a bit trickier to really give these matches what felt good to me, but at the same time, these “Dark Horses” are supposed to be newer/younger wrestlers, they aren’t at the top of the card, so none of these matches should be matching championship caliber stuff. Also full disclosure, I changed up my choice on the final match as I was putting it together because I felt it’d be a shame for one of them to lose.


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