Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!
Something wicked this way comes as WWE once again goes inside Hell in a Cell! Bayley and Sasha Banks will settle a grudge, Drew McIntyre once again battles The Viper, and if Roman Reigns makes Jey, the Usos MUST fall in line, or be disowned!
- Kickoff Show – WWE 24/7 Championship: R-Truth VS Drew Gulak; Truth wins and retains the title.
- WWE Universal Championship Hell in a Cell I Quit Match: Roman Reigns VS Jey Uso; Roman wins and retains the title, the Usos must “fall in line” behind him.
- Jeff Hardy VS Elias; Elias wins, by disqualification.
- Money in the Bank Contract Ownership: Otis VS The Miz w/ John Morrison; Miz wins and becomes the new Mr. Money in the Bank.
- SmackDown Women’s Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Bayley VS Sasha Banks; Sasha wins and becomes the new SmackDown Women’s Champion.
- WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Slapjack; Lashley wins and retains the title.
- WWE World Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Drew McIntyre VS Randy Orton; Orton wins and becomes the new WWE World Champion.
PLAY BY PLAY
It’s the Hell in a Cell Kickoff Show!
Join Charly Caruso, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Pete Rosenberg AND Jeff Jarrett to discuss, analyze and predict all of the action going down in this very scary PPV!
Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.
Ahead of the Universal Championship HIAC I Quit match, there is a lot of talk about consequences. Can Heyman tell us the consequences for Roman should Jey win? Heyman wants Kayla to do herself a favor and take the “hype” out of her voice. If Jey is man enough to make Roman quit, which he’s not, then Roman quits his claim of being champion, of being a main eventer, of being the top star ever in WWE, as head of the table, family and the destined Tribal Chief. But when, and Heyman emphasizes when, Roman makes Jey say, “I Quit,” inside the cell, Jey is an indentured servant who will do Roman’s bidding when and how Roman tells him, commands him to do so. “Those are the consequences that will occur tonight when Jey Uso says I Quit at the hands and the dominance of the razing, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion and your Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns.”
Backstage interview with Jeff Hardy.
Does he care to comment on Elias still thinking he was behind the hit & run? Hardy says he’s made a lot of mistakes and battled his demons for years. He is proud of what he’s done and owned up to every mistake he’s made. So of course he didn’t hit Elias with the car! They cleared him of that months ago. Elias is just pointing fingers at the wrong man. Hopefully they do find the real culprit. But if Elias wants to swing guitars at Hardy, Hardy will swing back. The only universal truth Elias needs to see tonight is that there is a Twist of Fate in his future.
R-Truth joins the panel.
Jarrett says hey to Lil’ Jimmy and Truth is excited to see Road Dogg! Where’s Truth? He’s here! Are you sick? Check the temp. But someone help Truth. Sam! Sup, Sam! No, this is Pete. Charly asks what Truth is doing here. Truth points out they told him he has a match to defend his 24/7 487 7-11 I-95 South European Television Championship for the kickoff show, but clearly Raw Talk is here and it’s got a full panel! Did he miss something? No, this IS the HIAC Kickoff. And you do have a match. And Booker’s Kofi Kingston. No, Truth knows who Booker is, Book! He’s sitting with Larry the King Live! But he does have a match with Drew Gulak, in a few moments. See with your eyes, not with your hands. Shouldn’t Truth go prepare? Yes, he will. Off he goes. This is the fourth kickoff show he’s crashed. They should try and guess when, not if.
Elias joins the panel.
Pete plugs the album while the others cheer. How is he feeling/ Looking great, feeling great. He has Hardy right where he wants him, in the ring. And then tomorrow, the album drops. Elias heard them talking and says, on top of Hardy ruining the concert last week, he tried to run Elias over back in May! No that’s crap and you know it. Booker asks when Elias is bringing the tour to Houston? When everyone starts touring again. Jarrett knows Hardy, he knows some redhead did it. Elias can’t believe this attitude. King says if you don’t like how people drive, stay off the sidewalk. But also, King heard Elias’ album has less dropped, more escaped. Hah, real funny. Pete says there’s a lot of jealousy because there are many wrestlers who tried to be musicians and they were frauds. No offense, Jarrett.
Elias says he was inspired by Jarrett. Because he’s everything Jarrett wasn’t. Elias gives Jarrett a special song right now. “Jeff I see your mug up on a ThunderDome screen. I know you’re gonna dress like Elias for Halloween. What’s with guys named Jeff? Jarrett and Hardy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think ‘Jeff’ was Spanish for… Junky.” Elias heads off, Booker thought that was great.
The Miz and John Morrison join the panel via video chat.
Charly Caruso brings up how the case flipped in their favor when JBL was given a briefcase. What was in the case? A “key piece of evidence.” Heavy Machinery was playing checkers, Miz & Morrison play Chutes & Ladders. And it’s super easy to win that, if you know the way. But this is what’s wrong with the legal system. Otis won fair and square! What company does Pete work for? The WWE? Yes. Then do you see Otis being the face of the WWE in the media and around the world?! DO you care about your jobs?! Miz is thinking about the company! He isn’t looking at the MITB briefcase as a prop, but as something important! Miz will make sure to beat Otis, cash in and BE WWE World or Universal Champion! Then everyone will be on notice! Because if you hold the top title, he’s after you!
Otis isn’t championship material, but Miz is! MC M I Z will save the WWE! Booker does believe in finders keepers, losers weepers, so he’s with Miz. Miz wants to emphasize that people don’t understand being world champion, but Miz does and Booker does. Yes, Booker does understand and respect that. The others here may not, but this SIX-TIME world champion, TWO-TIME Hall of Famer, does.
Kickoff Show – WWE 24/7 Championship: R-Truth VS Drew Gulak!
The FORTY-TWO TIME 24/7 Champion is hoping to still hold onto his baby tonight. But will the Philly Stretcher use his submission skills to rip the title from Truth’s grasp?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised and this championship match kicks off the night!
Truth high fives Lil’ Jimmy but he tells Jimmy to be careful of Gulak. Gulak calls Jimmy over, gives him a high five, too, then another. Then a secret handshake, too! And he sits on Gulak’s knee? Truth is upset, but then he’s ANGRY when Gulak KICKS Lil’ Jimmy! Truth goes after Gulak with fury! Truth whips, hip tosses and covers, ONE! Gulak gets to a corner, Truth fires off haymakers then throws haymaker sin the corner! And he brings Gulak to bump off buckles. Truth climbs up, rains down punches, but Gulak pushes him away. Gulak CLOBBERS Truth with a clothesline! Gulak has the leg, kicks and stomps it, then steps through for a standing toehold! Truth endures, keeps his shoulders up, but Gulak drops back to tweak the leg! Gulak stands up again, Truth endures more, but Gulak drops again!
Truth uses his free leg to kick Gulak away, but Gulak brings him around for a headlock. Truth powers out, jumps over the somersault but Gulak sunset flips! TWO, Gulak drop toeholds and has the leg again. Truth crawls, Gulak chinbars but Truth keeps fighting! Ropebreak! Gulak lets go, looms over Truth and brings him up as fans rally. Gulak uses a chinbar stretch! Truth endures, flips up and over Gulak to throw haymakers! Truth dodges, and rallies with Cena shoulders! And the Spin-Out Bomb! Fans cheer as Truth says “You Can’t See Me!” Truth hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Gulak flounders around into the fireman’s carry! Gulak fights out to shove, but Truth hits the LIE DETECTOR! Cover, TWO! Truth keeps going but misses the scissor kick!
Gulak headbutts and whips to corner clothesline! Gulak stomps away but lets up at 4. Truth skins the cat to the top rope?! Gulak is up top fast, Truth resists the suplex and throws body shots to get under! Truth drags Gulak out in an Electric Chair but Gulak punches to a sunset flip! Truth slips out, jackknife, Truth wins!!
Winner: R-Truth, by pinfall (still WWE 24/7 Champion)
But that just means the chase is on! Lucha House Party run out but Akira Tozawa follows! Tozawa pulls Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik away, but they keep him from giving chase, too! Truth joins the panel real quick but has to run again! Gulak is last to come by, and he tells Truth, “your childhood hero, John Cena, SUCKS!” Does Gulak really think that?
Retribution is backstage.
Mustafa Ali asks the others if they know what the greatest thrill in life is. “It’s watching someone make a bad decision.” The past few months, Ali has watched everyone plot against each other and make bad decisions. But they planned while he laughed as he shut down the Hurt Business, “a group of greedy men,” who are an evil corporation like the WWE! There is unfinished business with the Hurt Business. So tonight, Ali presents a proposal. One of theirs VS one of Hurt Business. MVP can make the call on who will FALL before Retribution! That’s MVP’s bad decision to make.
SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK! The I Quit Hell in a Cell OPENS the night!?!? This could turn the entire world upside-down if Booker’s prediction of JEY winning comes true!
The ThunderDome is now, the HELLSCAPE of WWE!
The ominous structure of steel and fear has returned again. So consider this your warning! There will be consequences when blood fights blood. There will be nowhere to run when grudges reach never before seen levels. There will be hell to pay as legacy takes on legacy! Welcome to Hell in a Cell.
WWE Universal Championship Hell in a Cell I Quit Match: Roman Reigns VS Jey Uso!
What could have easily been the main event is OPENING the show! Roman insists that without him at the top of both the WWE and at the head of the table, the Anoa’i Dynasty will crumble. If Jey somehow wins, Roman insists it will bring about the ruin of their family’s legacy. But if Jey loses, he MUST acknowledge Roman as Tribal Chief. If Jey can’t, then he AND Jimmy, and their wives, and their children, and their children’s children, will be OUT of the Anoa’i family forever!! Is Jey willing to risk it all to be THE champion?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this blood-boiling battle of blood goes through hell!
Jey and Roman stare down, and Roman says, “I told you it didn’t have to be this way.” Jey says Roman’s the one who is changing. Roman says he changed because he has to, to keep the family where it is. So then which is it? For the title or for the family? “Now we gotta get it!” They tie up, go around, Jey headlocks but Roman powers out and runs him over! Roman paces, brings Jey up and ROCKS him with an uppercut! Jey gets up, Roman paces as he says, “I told you.” Snap suplex! Roman paces more, not even really looking at Jey until Jey gets up. Roman brings Jey around to bump him off a buckle hard! Roman seethes as he corner clotheslines Jey down! Jey rolls, Roman stalks him, but Jey gets up and gets to a corner. Roman runs in again with another clothesline!
Jey falls to the floor but Roman just looms over him. Jey gets up and Roman tells him to just give it up. Roman goes in but gets boots! Jey throws a kick, it’s blocked but he comes back with the Dragon Whip! Mule kick! Pop, lock ‘n’ UPPERCUT! Roman is sent out of the ring, Jey builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit and Roman hits steel wall! Jey puts Roman in to clothesline him out again, and then DIVE again! Another hit into steel! It’s a bit double-edged this time but Jey gets up first. Jey brings Roman up to throw him into steel! “You about to get this work, too!” Jey throws Roman into more steel! The ref checks on Roman but he’s okay to continue. Jey says they “ain’t never quit sh*t,” but that’s gonna change today! Jey puts Roman in, follows after and has Roman in a corner. “UCE! OH!” Jey runs, but into the SPEAR!! Roman takes Jey down and catches his breath while Jey writhes.
Roman says he knows the one Spear won’t be enough. But he says Jey will wish he never even started this. Roman stomps Jey down! Jey checks his teeth while Roman shakes out the arm. Roman goes out of the ring and checks under it, and he grabs a chair. Jey runs and baseball slides Roman into steel! Jey runs again, DIVES, but into the forearm! Roman gets in, runs and SPEARS Jey again!! Roman tells Jey to just give it up but Jey refuses! Roman grows frustrated but he looms over Jey. “I don’t wanna have to do this!” Jey’s making Roman out to be the bad guy here. Jey sits up, Roman sighs and paces. “I will end you. I will end you!” Jey gets up, so Roman goes again, but into a KICK! Jey SUPERKICKS! Jey goes up top, leaps, USO SPLASH! Roman gasps and sputters but he refuses to give up. So Jey climbs up again! Jey leaps, USO SPLASH AGAIN!
Roman flounders, sputters, but manages to say, “Head of the table never quits.” Jey goes out, checks under the ring, and finds a LEATHER STRAP! Jey brings the strap into the ring, though struggling to walk on his own. Jey stands up, and LASHES Roman on the back! And AGAIN! Jey promises to “whoop the dogs*it” out of Roman! Roman sits up, Jey LASHES him again! Roman gets up to SPEAR!! Jey is back down and says he’s struggling to breathe, but that doesn’t mean he quits. Roman gets up, walks over and takes the strap from Jey. Roman can’t believe Jey would resort to this, but now it’s Jey’s turn with the LASH! “I do the whipping around here!!” ANOTHER LASH! Roman’s weirdly nostalgic over this as he LASHES Jey again! And again! Jey gets angry now but his body’s stinging. Roman puts the strap around Jey’s wrist, now it’s like a strap match!
And Roman says Jey will respect him, and he LASHES Jey right in the GROIN!! Jey writhes and flounders but also seethes, and yet Roman grins! Roman reels Jey in with the strap, Jey grabs ropes to resist, but then lets go to FOREARM Roman! Roman throws a forearm back! Jey forearms, Roman hits back with an elbow! Jey gets up again, and SUPERKICKS! Roman wobbles, leans on the ropes, the strap messes up the Superman Punch! Jey pounces on Roman to use the strap in a straitjacket stretch and then some!! Roman refuses to give up, but he might not even be able to breathe with the strap around his neck! Roman is fading! But an I Quit match is only won verbally! Roman revives, Jey is right on him!! Jey keeps pulling tight but again Roman fades out before ever saying anything! Jey is free of the strap himself, but the ref is checking on Roman.
Roman gasps back to consciousness but he’s refusing to give up! Jey is too tired to be frustrated, but he does go grab the chair Roman brought in. Jey uses the chair to stand up, and then aims at Roman. Roman slowly rises, Jey swings, into the SUPERMAN PUNCH! Jey wobbles into Roman’s GUILLOTINE! With body scissors!! Jey flails, but not even tapping out will stop this! Roman vows he’ll break Jey if he doesn’t quit! Jey is fading! Heyman even says Jey should just quit! Jey doesn’t say anything so Roman lets him go. Roman is beside himself as Jey refuses to say it! Roman says Jey should just say the words. Jey sits up as Roman tries to tell him that he needs to quit, or this is only going to get worse. Jey stays quiet as he slowly turns over. Roman wants Jey to say it, and they can all go home. Heyman says this is bad but Roman tells Heyman to shut up. Jey needs to learn to respect Roman.
Roman drags Jey by an arm, gets the chair, tosses the chair out, and then Roman drags Jey onto the apron. Jey is still in a daze as he grabs at Roman. Roman backs up, for the DRIVE-BY DROPKICK! That was a headshot into the post!! Roman tells Jey just to say it, but Jey refuses! Can he even say anything? Does he even know he’s still in the cell? Roman rains down haymakers on the “selfish” Jey, and even grinds him into the post! Roman gest the steel steps!?! Roman puts the steps very, very close to Jey’s body, and wedges him in between them and the post. Roman goes back to the corner, runs and FULL METAL DRIVE-BY!! The steps fall off the apron and the ref checks on Jey. Roman says this is over, just say it and they can all go home. But again, is Jey in any shape to say anything?
Roman says this has to continue. Jey knew what he was getting into. The ref says he’s going to call it, but then Roman grabs the ref! Roman tells the ref this match doesn’t end without the words. The ref say sJey is out, but Roman says the ref is out! He THROWS the ref out of the ring and into steel wall! The outside ref gets in to check on his coworker, and Roman drags Jey from the corner! Other referees and WWE officials get in the ring! Adam Pearce tries to reason with Roman, and Roman goes to leave. Roman says everyone is on Jey’s side. Roman closes the cell door and tosses the steel steps into the ring! The officials tell Roman to stop this already, but he’s not stopping at all! Roman chases them all off, circling around Jey. Roman grabs the steps, picks them up and has them press Jey down!
Roman tells Jey that Roman’s been better than Jey since they were kids. They’re grown men and Jey is STILL testing Roman! Roman is THE Tribal Chief! All Jey had to do was acknowledge him! And now he’s making Roman do what he doesn’t want to do! But that’s how serious it is at the top! There’s no going back! Jey needs to understand what the Tribal Chief is! Roman brings the steps back up, raises them high over head, but Jimmy gets in! Jey shields his brother and tells Roman to just stop! This is worse than Clash of Champions! This is JEY, for crying out loud! Whatever Roman is going through, they can fix this as a family! They don’t have to do it like this! This is JOSH FATU, not Jey Uso! Look at him! Look at them, Joe! Whatever he’s going through, he knows they’ve got his back. But this? This ain’t right.
Roman breaks down as he says, “I don’t even know who I am. I’m sorry.” Jimmy says that it’s fine. They’re family! They still love each other. Roman nods, and takes Jimmy’s hand. To then DRAG HIM INTO THE GUILLOTINE!! Jey flails, grabs for Jey, and Jey starts to wake up. Jey realizes what’s going on to his own twin and he grabs at Roman! “I QUIT! OKAY!? I QUIT!!” Jey quits, Roman wins!!
Winner: Roman Reigns (still WWE Universal Champion)
The Tribal Chief must be out of his mind, because he’s not even emotional at all now!! Was it all an act!? Roman may have lied, but no one understands who this man holding the title is anymore. Afa and Sika await Roman as he exits the cell. Roman walks up to his father and his uncle, the elders of the family, and celebrates with them as he is truly crowned Tribal Chief. Roman is truly head of the table. Will Roman hold this, and the title, over his cousins for the rest of their lives?
Jeff Hardy VS Elias!
The Drifter walks out to introduce himself and ask the question, Who Wants to Walk With Elias? Four months ago, “that degenerate” Jeff Hardy tried to end Elias’ career with a hit and run. But those events inspired Elias’ new album, The Universal Truth. So Elias has a song for Hardy first. Please silence cell phones, hold applause and most importantly, shut your mouths! “Jeff Hardy and Elias! We’re in the ThunderDome! Worst part of it, I gotta look at y’all in your filthy homes! Jeff Hardy and Elias, yes you’re gonna lose. But don’t worry, Jeff, you can always fall back on the booze. Jeff Hardy and Elias, what’s the difference between you and I? WWE is Walk with Elias, Jeff Hardy equals DUI.” But Hardy cuts Elias off to shut him up, and this rockstar grudge match begins!
The bell rings and Elias ties up with Hardy. They go to a corner, Elias turns Hardy around and pushes out of the break. Hardy comes back, they go around again but end up on ropes. The ref counts, Hardy lets off at 3. Elias comes back, knees low and throws forearms! Elias brings Hardy up to CHOP him, then has him on the ropes. Elias whips, Hardy dodges and ducks to atomic drop, snapmare and neck snapper! Cover, TWO! Hardy clubs Elias down, stomps him, then drags him up. Hardy wrenches, clubs the arm, wrenches again and hammerlocks. Hardy clubs Elias, Elias gets around and hammerlocks to snapmare and wrap on a chinlock! But Hardy slips out the back! Hardy has the hammerlock, cranks on the arm, but Elias fights his way up.
Hardy cranks on the arm more, they go around and Elias throws Hardy off and out of the ring! Elias catches his breath while Hardy slowly gets up. Elias goes out and throws Hardy into barriers! Hardy throws Elias into barriers in return! Hardy puts Elias in but Elias bails out, so Hardy wrecks him with a dropkick! Hardy goes out and leaps off steps, but into barriers as Elias dodges! The ring count climbs to 5 before Hardy gets up, and it’s at 9 just as Hardy gets in! Elias stomps Hardy then drags him around by his hair. The ref reprimands but Elias forearms Hardy down. Elias throws body shots and fast hands on Hardy but Hardy ends up in the corner. Elias keeps going, the ref reprimands and counts, Elias lets off to come back and stomp Hardy down! Elias drags Hardy up, whips him to ropes then runs him over! Cover, TWO!
Elias grows frustrated as he looms over Hardy. Elias drags Hardy up to wrap on a chinlock and he squeezes tight this time. Fans clap for Hardy as he fights up, throws body shots, and is free. Elias throws a fist, blocks a kick but Hardy spins to mule kick Elias down! Hardy rallies the fans as he gets to his feet. Elias runs in but Hardy throws counter punches! Hardy throws more haymakers, whips Elias but Elias reverses, only for Hardy to run Elias over! Atomic drop to leg splitting leg drop! Basement dropkick and splash, cover, TWO! Hardy keeps his focus as he watches Elias rise. Hardy kicks but no Twist as Elias shoves Hardy away! Elias Electric Chair lifts, spins Hardy around to POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Hardy survives and Elias is shocked! Elias and Hardy slowly rise in opposite corners.
Elias runs in but Hardy elbows him away! Hardy boots then climbs up, WHISPER IN THE WIND! Cover, TWO! Hardy keeps focused and gets Elias with the TWIST OF FATE! Off comes the shirt and Hardy goes back up top! Elias gets to the apron but Hardy just adjusts course, so Elias flails and gets to the floor! Hardy still doesn’t see the problem as he hops down. Hardy hurries after Elias and stops him from using the guitar! HARDY uses the GUITAR!!
Winner: Elias, by disqualification
Hardy doesn’t really care about losing, because he got to get Elias back for that “smash hit.” Hardy even stomps what’s left of the guitar to make sure the message sinks in. Will Elias accept the win and move on? Or will there be a sequel to this rough collaboration?
Backstage interview with Heavy Machinery.
Tucker is with Otis again as Otis prepares for his match, as ruled on in “Law & Otis.” Otis says mama always told him, if you got it, flaunt it! Otis has it, Miz wants it, so Otis is gonna rub that in Miz’s face! Otis had to sit in that hot court room in that itchy suit just for this! Otis is REAL angry, is he going to make sure Miz feels ever ounce of that anger?
Money in the Bank Contract Ownership: Otis w/ Tucker VS The Miz w/ John Morrison!
Mr. Dozer in the Bank is the victim of the Hollywood A-Lister abusing the WWE legal system! From a frivolous lawsuit with trumped up charges to literally bribing “The Honorable” JBL to rule in his favor! But just because Miz won the case in court doesn’t mean he’ll win the briefcase in the ring! Will Otis get payback on The Miz for everything that’s happened between them? Or will Miz once again be Mr. MITB and have another chance at rising to the top?
Otis has a new entrance just for himself! The #BlueCollarSolid working man is ready to go to work! The introductions are made, the briefcase is raised, and this legally allowed assault and battery begins!
Otis and Miz tie up and Otis powers Miz right to the corner! Otis fires off haymakers from all sides! The ref counts, Otis TOSSES Miz away! Miz gets to a corner, Otis runs in and RAMS him! Miz gasps and sputters but Otis scoop slams him! Cover, TWO! Otis stays fired up as he drags Miz up. Miz jawbreakers back but swings into a back suplex! Miz lands on his feet to get the full nelson! Otis breaks free, throws Miz out but Miz slides under to sunset flip! Otis stays up to STAND on Miz! The ref counts, Otis drops down on Miz! Miz crawls away, Otis stalks Miz but Miz throws body shots. Those don’t work on Otis! Miz throws Otis out of the ring, builds speed and dropkicks but misses! Otis CLOBBERS Miz! Otis drags Miz up to bounce him off the desk, then bump him off the desk again!
Otis puts Miz in, Morrison gets on the apron but gets away as Otis swipes at him. Miz kicks the legs out to basement DDT Otis down! Cover, TWO! Otis gets to ropes but Miz is on him to choke him! The ref counts, Miz stops at 4 but Morrison gets a cheap shot in! Tucker is angry but Miz gives Otis It Kicks in the corner! Miz goes corner to corner to hit the A-List Lariat! Miz goes up top, leaps, and ax handles Otis down! Cover, TWO! Miz seethes, stalks Otis to ropes but Otis hits back! Miz gets around to a sleeper! Otis flails but fades! Miz leans on Otis but Otis gets a second wind! Otis gets up, throws Miz off, but Miz BOOTS Otis right down! Morrison says that was money! Miz seethes as he looms over Otis. Miz sits Otis up for haymakers and It Kicks! Otis just powers up!
Miz kicks but Otis blocks! Miz kicks again but Otis powers up! Miz CHOPS, Otis starts thrusting! Otis throws haymakers and runs Miz over! And again! Otis is feeling it as he runs and BLASTS Miz off his feet! Otis rips his shirt off then whips Miz to FLAPJACK him! Fans fire up with Otis as Otis runs into the corner for a splash! Miz flops down and Otis pumps it up! Otis goes ocrner to corner with the CATERPILLAR, but Morrison drags Miz to safety! Otis pursues and throws Miz into barriers! Otis chases Morrison away and goes back to Miz. Otis puts Miz in, Miz BOOTS him again! Otis is in a corner now, Miz runs in but into an elbow! Miz distracts the ref, Morrison has the briefcase! Tucker points it out, the ref catches Morrison red handed! Morrison is EJECTED!
Miz is all alone, Otis rolls Miz up, TWO!! Miz runs into a DISCUS!! Cover, TWO!? Miz survives but Otis is right on him! Miz grabs the apron skirt, kicks Otis away and while the ref is busy with the skirt, TUCKER hits Otis with the briefcase?!? WHY!?! Tucker how could you?!? Miz covers Otis, and WINS!!
Winner: The Miz, by pinfall; (NEW Mr. Money in the Bank)
Heavy Machinery was no more because of the WWE Draft, but this is TRULY the ending of the blue collar solid friendship! And now, Miz has his choice of championship opportunity! Will Miz be watching McIntyre VS Orton very closely tonight?
Miz and Morrison celebrate backstage!
NEW Mr. MITB! Kayla comes by to congratulate Miz as he finally succeeded, but it seems at the cost of destroying Otis’ life. Miz say she did what was necessary for the WWE to thrive. Morrison says this is the biggest win of the night because the contract has meaning. Miz has been here 15 years, he has made others better, and has been ratings gold! He will not squander this opportunity! This is NOT a prop! This is a golden opportunity! And to the WWE Champion or Universal Champoin, you are now on notice! Miz has cashed in before, and he’ll do it again! Otis took it for granted, and took Tucker for granted. Tucker comes by and says this isn’t about Miz.
But then why did he betray Otis?! “We were supposed to be a team. But I was the workhorse! I carried the load!” Tucker did everything for Otis and for the team! Tucker treated Otis like a brother, but for what? So that he was always the afterthought? Tucky, tag Otis in! Give Otis the spotlight! But Otis can’t function without Tucker! Who gave Otis confidence to ask Mandy out? TUCKER. Who had Otis’ back all this time? TUCKER. But Otis can’t tie his own boots without Tucker! But Otis comes in and BLASTS Miz down and then brawls with Tucker! Tucker runs away and referees hurry to keep this from getting out of hand! With Tucker and Otis on separate brands, will these feelings go unresolved?
SmackDown Women’s Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Bayley VS Sasha Banks!
The (unofficially named) Golden Role Models were the best of friends and the greatest of combinations in the WWE in a long, long time! But all because they lost the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, Bayley decided to betray Banks first! Now that they’re back to enemies, all of this animosity will burn bright inside the cell! Who walks out forged by the fire as THE greatest women’s champion ever? And who is left behind to pick up the pieces?
Bayley makes sure to bring her favorite chair, and has even painted “1-0” on it, to reference their record against each other for this title. There’s also an X on the other side to mark the spot she hit Sasha with several times already. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this friendship gone to hell now goes through hell!
Sasha DROPKICKS the chair out just before the cell finishes lowering! And then she throws Bayley down! Sasha dares Bayley to go get the one thing that helps her win. Bayley hurries out but Sasha intercepts with forearms! Sasha DECKS Bayley, stomps her then rains down rights! Bayley grabs the leg but Sasha throws down more fists! Bayley scrambles, Sasha stomps and knees Bayley into buckles! Sasha runs in, Bayley puts her up top and spins, only for Sasha to boot her away. Sasha runs and tilt-o-whirls to a takedown, into the BANK STATEMENT! Bayley flails, reaches, BITES and gets free! Bayley goes out, Sasha runs, but Bayley ducks to RAM Sasha into steel! Bayley RAMS Sasha in again! Sasha grits her teeth while Bayley goes looking under the ring.
Bayley brings out a kendo stick! Bayley swings, misses, but keeps swinging! Sasha keeps dodging, blocks the stick then takes it to shove it out of the cell through one of the gaps! Bayley hurries to get more kendo sticks but has to elbow Sasha away! Bayley swings but Sasha blocks it again! Sasha brings Bayley to KNEE her down! Sasha throws the kendo stick into the ring, then brings out a TABLE! Sasha sets it up in what little space there is between ring and cell. Bayley sucker punches Sasha down and clubs her down! Bayley sees the table, deconstructs it while stomping Sasha. Bayley wants to prop the table up but Sasha grabs the other end! Sasha RAMS Bayley into the steel! And again! And again! The table rams into Bayley at the same time, and now Bayley is stuck. Sasha runs up the table to METEORA against steel! Sasha puts Bayley in, goes up top and leaps, METEORA AGAIN! Cover, TWO!!
Bayley survives and Sasha can’t believe it! Sasha goes back out and brings in chairs of her own. Sasha taunts Bayley but Bayley gets around to roll her up, TWO! Bayley scrambles up, puts Sasha on the apron and trips her up! Sasha hits apron on the way down and even lands on the table. Bayley grabs a chair, talks over to Sasha stuck on the table, and SWINGS, only to hit table! Sasha gets under the table to kick it up into Bayley’s face! Then she goes up the apron to METEORA Bayley into the cell again! It was a rough landing for both but Sasha is up first. Sasha puts Bayley in, Bayley tries to run away but Sasha is after her through the ropes. Bayley hotshots Sasha down! Sasha crawls to the apron now, Bayley brings her up to throw her at the steel!
Sasha clings to it like a cat, Bayley jumps at her but Sasha jumps back! Sasha jumps over Bayley, Bayley throws Sasha at the apron but Sasha Tiger Feints to huricanrana Bayley into steel! Sasha gets up and hobbles back to her table. Bayley stands, Sasha runs and shotgun dropkicks Bayley into steel steps! Bayley looks out as Sasha drags her around. Sasha brings out more kendo sticks! Sasha uses the gaps in the steps and gaps in the steel to make some kendo stick bridges. Sasha drags Bayley over but Bayley fights back with fury! Bayley turns things around, Sasha resists and gets to the apron! Sasha kicks Bayley down, runs in but Bayley uses a drop toehold to send Sasha into stick sand steps!! Sasha’s neck is of concern and Bayley makes sure commentary gives her credit for it.
Bayley says Sasha had a good idea, though. Bayley puts the kendo sticks in through the many gaps of steps and cell, and then CATAPULT GUILLOTINES Sasha into them!! Bayley drags Sasha up and into the ring, covers, TWO!! Sasha still lives and Bayley is furious! Bayley drags Sasha back up to club her on the back, and stomp her, too! Bayley puts on a chinlock and pulls Sasha back. Bayley stomps Sasha, has chairs, and then brings Sasha up and turns her, NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Bayley grows frustrated as she stalks Sasha to the apron. “Boss of the Cell, huh? Boss my ass!” Bayley drags Sasha up but Sasha grabs ropes to resist the suplex! Sasha flips, and POWERBOMBS Bayley into the steel! Bayley is down again and Sasha puts her in! Cover, TWO!!
Sasha sits a chair up, and just like on Friday, puts Bayley through it! But Bayley fights out and trips Sasha, Sasha smacks her face off the chair! Bayley gets the other chair, wedges it into a corner, then stalks behind Sasha. Bayley brings Sasha up, whips her but Sasha slides under! Sasha knees back, climbs up, and uses DEADLY NIGHTSHADE to send Bayley into the chair! Sasha runs, Bayley dodges but Sasha avoids chair. Sasha hurries after Bayley but Bayley SUNSET BOMBS Sasha into the chair!! Cover, TWO!?!? Sasha survives but Bayley isn’t even dismayed. Bayley drags Sasha around, goes up top, and MACHO ELBOWS! Cover, TWO!! Bayley is furious but the count is fair. Bayley drags Sasha up, hooks the arm but Sasha slips out to BACKSTABBER, to BANK STATEMENT!
Bayley flails, reaches, moves around, gets the ropes but there are no ropebreaks! Bayley keeps going, traps Sasha in the apron skirt and clubs away! Bayley SMACKS Sasha off the ring frame!! Sasha is stuck upside-down, and Bayley SMACKS her on the back over and over with the kendo stick! Sasha slumps out of the skirt and Bayley grimaces as she goes looking for more. Bayley brings out DUCT TAPE! Bayley struggles with the tape, saying she’s all sweaty. Can the ref do this for her? The ref refuses to help her do whatever she’s planning. Bayley uses tape to combine kendo sticks into one extra big stick! And she puts those through steel fence and ring frame! It isn’t really working out but she just puts more tape around it. Well, that still isn’t working so Bayley leaves that where it is.
Sasha uses the FIRE EXTINGUISHER!! Bayley gets a face full of the smoke!! Bayley flounders about, wants water for her eyes, but she finds her favorite chair first! Sasha grabs it from her first! Bayley begs for mercy since she can’t see but Sasha just hammers away on her instead! “SCREW YOU!” Sasha throws Bayley into steel, then more steel! Bayley even pinballs off the post! “You’re nothing without me, Bayley! NOTHING!” Sasha SLAPS Bayley, and whips her into steel again! Bayley is down in the corner of the cell, Sasha runs and METEORAS again! And then knees and knees and knees away! Sasha puts Bayley back in, then goes searching for more things. Sasha grabs another kendo stick, stalks behind Bayley, and SMACKS away!
Sasha shouts Bayley isn’t a nobody, and she won’t be a champion! She is NOT better than Sasha! Sasha SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS then just throws the stick away in anger! Bayley is down, Sasha is emotional and watches her from a corner. Bayley crawls for her favorite chair, but Sasha stomps Bayley down first! Sasha goes to a corner and up top, for the FROG SPLASH, ONTO THE CHAIR!! Bayley used the chair as a shield!! It was still double-edged because Bayley was underneath the chair, too. Both women are down but stirring. Bayley rolls away, Sasha grabs her foot but can’t keep her inside. Sasha pursues, drags Bayley up but Bayley hits the PLANTER! Bayley puts Sasha in, covers, TWO!?!? Sasha survives and Bayley furiously hammers away!
Bayley drags Sasha up, throws her back out, then goes looking for things under the table. Bayley finds a LADDER?! Bayley puts that ladder in the ring, also gets a chair, and then another chair. Bayley makes the ladder a bridge between both chairs, then intercepts Sasha as she gets back in! Sasha gets up but Bayley clubs her down. Bayley and Sasha brawl, Sasha runs, but Bayley flapjacks her off the ladder bridge! Bayley puts Sasha on the ladder, then goes looking for more. Bayley has spray paint?! And she sprays an X to mark the spot. Bayley has her favorite chair, X for X! Bayley leaps, FULL METAL ELBOW, but onto ladder as Sasha moves! Sasha uses the ladder to leap up, METEORA! Sasha steals BAYLEY2BELLY onto the LADDER! Cover, TWO!?!? Bayley survives her own move, boosted by the metal of ladder and chairs!
Sasha is at a loss for words, but she clears space now. Sasha tries to backstab but Bayley throws her off and KNEES her! BAYLEY2BELLY FROM BAYLEY! Cover, TWO?!?!? Now Sasha survives as Bayley uses her move herself! Bayley is laughing in disbelief as she pushes Sasha around. And she has her favorite chair again. To SMACK Sasha on the back! And again! Bayley stalks Sasha as Sasha flounders. “Get up, Boss.” Bayley brings Sasha in, uses the chair, but no Bayley2Belly as Sasha arm-drags! FULL METAL BANK STATEMENT!!! Sasha even stomps at the chair to add onto the vice! BAYLEY TAPS, SASHA WINS!!
Winner: Sasha Banks, by submission (NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion)
GRAND SLAM BOSS TIME!! But Sasha doesn’t stop until she’s satisfied! These two went through hell, and it is Sasha who comes out the other side! But she doesn’t take the belt right away, as she stares at Bayley, barely stirring after what happened. Sasha finally stands, takes the belt, and stands over Bayley with it! Sasha ended Bayley’s reign, will it take even more than hell to stop her now?
Backstage interview with The Hurt Business.
Charly was looking for them, and judging from how he’s suited up, Bobby Lashley must’ve been chosen to step up to Retribution’s challenge. MVP says it isn’t stepping up. No one understands how the Hurt Business works. Lashley is the CEO of the Hurt Business, the lead predator in this pride of lions. And just like the warrior kings of old, he does not order others but leads them into battle. Then who do they want him to face from Retribution? That guy in the lame mask. Oh, wait, that’s all of them. Shelton Benjamin was thinking of Slapjack. Yeah, that’s who it’ll be. Slapjack VS Lashley.
And MVP directs this right to Ali: “We are not greed businessmen, but we are in fact businessmen. Professionals of the highest order. And yes, we are driven by profit, but also by our intense passion for inflicting pain.” MVP sees the challenge and raises it: let this be 1v1, no corner men and no back-up. And to raise the stakes more, this is going to be for the United States championship! And Lashley isn’t waiting for a response, he’ll see whoever wants it, out in the ring.
WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Slapjack!
The Rocky Mountain Machine is so confident he can beat the Retribution member formerly known as Shane Thorne, he’s even putting up the prize! But is the Hurt Business wrong to think there’s a weak link in Mustafa Ali’s personal army?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this stacked deck against Slapjack begins!
Slapjack throws his shirt at Lashley and fires off! Lashley throws Slapjack, stomps and hammers away in the corner but lets off only a moment to grind forearms and run in to RAM into Slapjack! Lashley drags Slapjack up to throw into the corner, throw more hands and even elbows! The ref counts, Lashley lets off but then comes back for more. Lashley whips corner to corner, Slapjack tumbles up and down the buckles! Lashley pushes Slapjack around, hauls him up and stalling suplexes before the slam! Lashley looms over Slapjack, puts him back in a corner and fires off more haymakers! Lashley pulls on the ski mask, the ref counts but Lashley lets up at 4. Slapjack gets around, Lashley tilt-o-whirls him but Slapjack slips off to shove Lashley into buckles!
Slapjack fires off on Lashley now but the ref backs him off. Slapjack goes corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Cover, but they’re in the ropes! Slapjack keep son Lashley with forearm sand clubbing fists. Slapjack chinbars and goes to cobra clutch, but Lashley powers up and out to throw Slapjack away. Slapjack boots back, runs and TORNADO DDT’S! Cover, TWO!! Lashley lives and Slapjack can’t believe it! Slapjack rains down rights and gets in Lashley’s face. Slapjack hurries up top, Lashley gets him first for a TOSS! And then clobbers him over and over! Lashley OVERHEAD belly2belly suplexes Slapjack! Lashley snarls, runs at Slapjack but Slapjack dodges, only to come back for the ALL MIGHTY SPINEBUSTER! Lashley stalks Slapjack, full nelson, HURT LOCK!! Slapjack taps, Lashley wins!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission (still WWE United States Champion)
But then the rest of Retribution pounces! T-Bar and Mace attack with Ali shouting orders! Then he says, “Lights out!” Mace and T-Bar bring Lashley up but he fights out with big haymakers! The Hurt Business reinforces Lashley and Ali puts on the brakes! Retribution regroups and retreats, but this is far from over! What will it take to establish unquestionable dominance over on the red brand?
WWE World Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Drew McIntyre VS Randy Orton!
The Scottish Psychopath is entering his first ever, but The Viper is a veteran of this match. Will McIntyre continue to define his own legacy against the Legend Killer? Or will Orton solidify his by leaving McIntyre behind in hell?
But as McIntyre makes his entrance, ORTON reveals he’s in disguise! But McIntyre is ready, too, as he throws counter punches! McIntyre bumps Orton off barriers, and says he knew all along Orton had a plan! McIntyre rips the jacket off Orton to CHOP him! Orton stops himself from being thrown into steel and gets away! McIntyre pursues, Orton kicks back! Orton bumps McIntyre off steel and then clears off the announce desk! Orton drags McIntyre up and over, back suplexes but McIntyre blocks! McIntyre punches Orton down and brings Orton up to bump him off the desk hood! McIntyre brings Orton around the way to punch him and bump him off steel. Orton hits back and hurries away, but McIntyre pursues again. McIntyre kicks and clubs Orton, then puts him in the cell! McIntyre slams the door closed, and this match finally begins! “Now you belong to me!”
Orton and McIntyre stare down and McIntyre dares Orton to do something. They approach, Orton kicks low and they start brawling with haymakers! Orton kicks and clubs, McIntyre hits back with haymakers! McIntyre kicks Orton, clubs him and CHOPS him, then throws a headlock punch! Orton staggers but kicks back, but McIntyre denies the RKO! McIntyre clotheslines Orton out and Orton tumbles into steel! McIntyre goes out, drags Orton up and RAMS him into steel! McIntyre stands Orton up again to pick him up and RAM him in even harder! “Tell me how it feels!” McIntyre grinds Orton’s face into the steel! Orton clutches his ear as McIntyre lets up. McIntyre drags Orton back up and into the ring to cover, TWO! Orton rolls away, McIntyre pursues and they’re on the outside again.
McIntyre bumps Orton off steel, then scoops him to RAM him, and RAM him, and RAM him! McIntyre even POSTS Orton! Orton ends up in the corner of the cell and McIntyre smirks. McIntyre goes around and starts searching for something. McIntyre brings out a chair and brings it back. Orton gets up, but McIntyre JABS him and SMACKS him with the chair! Orton crawls around the way, McIntyre pursues and brings Orton up. McIntyre Russian Leg Sweeps Orton into the steel! McIntyre pulls the steel steps apart and aims at Orton. Orton stands, McIntyre RAMS him with the steps! Orton leans against the apron but McIntyre shoves him down. “You wanted this! You chose this match!” McIntyre goes back to the steps, aims at Orton again, and THROWS them! Orton gets clear, and the steps bounce off steel!
Orton gets in the ring for safety but McIntyre aims from a corner. McIntyre wants Orton to count down with him. “Three! Two! One!” But Orton SMACKS the leg with the chair! And then SMACKS McIntyre on the back! Orton digs the chair into McIntyre’s jaw! McIntyre’s jaw was fractured by Orton’s punt kicks, and now Orton wants to break the jaw again! McIntyre refuses to give up so Orton lets off to cover, ONE! Orton is beside himself as he finally sheds the rest of his disguise. McIntyre rolls away, Orton stalks over and grabs the legs, to CATAPULT GUILLOTINE McIntyre into ropes! McIntyre falls out of the ring, gasps and sputters for air, but Orton brings McIntyre to the base of the steps. Orton stands over McIntyre and STOMPS! McIntyre is in a daze after that, but Orton keeps on him!
Orton grinds McIntyre’s face into the steel fencing! Orton chuckles as he tortures McIntyre! And then Orton uses his jacket to blind McIntyre while digging him into the steel! Orton taunts McIntyre, “Do you want me to tell you what I see?” Orton says he sees a giant Scotsman getting his ass kicked! Orton lets off and McIntyre flounders back to the steps. McIntyre hits back with body shots but Orton headbutts him! Orton brings McIntyre around to whip into the other steel steps! Orton brings the base steps and stands them up the tall way. Orton goes back to McIntyre, brings him up and tries to bounce him off steps, but McIntyre fights back! McIntyre headbutts Orton, bumps him off steps, then shoves him into the steel wall! Orton thumbs McIntyre’s eye!
McIntyre is furious, Orton whips him into the BIG steps! McIntyre tumbles down with the steps while Orton goes looking for something. Orton brings out a TABLE! McIntyre flounders about as Orton stands the table up in a corner of the cell. Orton goes after McIntyre in the ring, but McIntyre throws body shots! McIntyre backs Orton down, punches him more, and CHOPS! McIntyre whips, Orton reverses and hits the back2backbreaker! Cover, ONE?! Orton is shocked by that! That had to be at least two, but no, it was one. Orton is frustrated but fans start to rally up. McIntyre rises, Orton brings McIntyre up by his beard, but McIntyre throws haymakers! Orton European Uppercuts, McIntyre throws more haymakers! McIntyre has Orton in a corner but Orton kicks low then whips corner to corner. McIntyre comes back with a clothesline!
McIntyre rallies, whips and OVERHEAD SUPLEXES! Orton gets to ropes, McIntyre runs at him again, and gets ANOTHER OVERHEAD SUPLEX! McIntyre is glaring at Orton and demands he stand. Orton slowly rises, McIntyre kicks and underhooks, but no Future Shock! Orton swings, but into a neckbreaker! McIntyre kips up! McIntyre is fire dup and fans are excited, too! Orton stirs, McIntyre watches him rise, fireman’s carry! Orton fights out of that, bails out of the ring, but McIntyre pursues! Orton kicks low, bumps McIntyre off apron and steel wall. Orton runs at McIntyre, but into another OVERHEAD SUPLEX, and through the table!! Both men are down, fans rally up and some agree, “This is Awesome!”
McIntyre gets Orton up, telling him he’s going to keep his promise of hurting him! McIntyre puts Orton in but Orton kicks the ropes! And again! Orton hits McIntyre in his claymore, then hits the DRAPING DDT! Cover, ONE?!? McIntyre shocks Orton again! Orton goes out and brings out bolt cutters! McIntyre used the cutters to get inside on Raw, but Orton is going to use them to get out tonight! Orton breaks the chain, opens the door, and walks outside. But there’s no count outs, and McIntyre pursues! McIntyre CLOBBERS Orton at the ramp, brings him back and bumps him off barriers! And more barriers! Orton flounders away but McIntyre pursues again! McIntyre brings Orton back, Orton turns things around and McIntyre is sent into the door!
McIntyre falls, Orton snarls, and then Orton gets an idea. We’ve seen superstars do this in the past, and Orton is doing it now! Orton is climbing the cell! And all the way up! McIntyre is surprised Orton is literally wanting to take this to a new level, but he accepts the challenge! McIntyre begins the climb! They’re 20 feet up, right in the heart of the ThunderDome! But Orton had something planned! There’s a big red pipe Orton has in his hand! McIntyre is wary as he approaches, ducks the pipe and trips Orton up to rain down fists! McIntyre stands up, roars, but Orton hits McIntyre in the leg with the pipe! Orton crawls back to the edge, tries to figure out how to climb down and begins the descent. But McIntyre won’t let him get away! McIntyre manages to climb down, but Orton hits McIntyre as he can.
They both make it halfway down and McIntyre hits back! Orton bumps McIntyre off the frame! And again! McIntyre wobbles but he clubs back! Orton CLUBS McIntyre’s hand off the cell, McIntyre falls THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE DESK!! Orton takes his time climbing back down while McIntyre stirs in the wreckage. McIntyre spits up some blood! But he’s still moving, so Orton slithers over. Orton stands over McIntyre, drags him around, and McIntyre sputters and gasps as he tries to get to his feet. McIntyre crawls, Orton stalks him, a little confused as to how and why McIntyre is still going. They somehow make it back to the cell door, and Orton hauls McIntyre up. McIntyre scrambles around the way but Orton puts him in the ring.
Orton takes his time following and revels in McIntyre writhing and shuddering. Orton hears the voices in his head, and they all want McIntyre to get back up. McIntyre somehow rises, Orton leaps, but into a backslide!! TWO!! McIntyre manages to run to CLAYMORE!?! But Orton gets sent out of the ring! McIntyre goes out, despite the pain in his ribs, to fetch Orton. McIntyre drags Orton up, despite Orton being dead weight. McIntyre gets Orton inside, hobbles to a corner, and still wants Orton to stand! Anger overtakes the pain in McIntyre’s body, and Orton rises, to drop under the Claymore! RKO!!! Cover, ORTON WINS!!
Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall (NEW WWE World Champion)
For the FOURTEENTH TIME, Orton has the title of titles! McIntyre tried, but not even he could withstand everything he went through at Orton’s hands. Orton grins as he walks away with the belt. McIntyre gets up, but a little too late. Will McIntyre ever get back to that title? Will McIntyre ever get that title back?
Wow, that was a wild HIAC! We got a few surprises, and some were good but some were not so good. Well firstly, there were somethings not quite PPV quality. Hardy VS Elias was fine and all but it ended with a disqualification very quickly, so obviously this is going to be continuing. I figured this feud is far from over, but they could’ve done a much better job setting it up. And the same goes for the Hurt Business VS Retribution representative match. Obviously with the Hurt Business given the option, they were going to choose Shane “Slapjack” Thorne, considerably the smallest and doofiest member.
But if Ali and the others were going to be ready to pounce, they probably should’ve just done it without worrying about the title match. At the same time, WWE continues to write Ali and Retribution like weaklings. How are they supposed to be a threat if it isn’t equal between them and Hurt Business? And if Ali is WWE’s hacker, why didn’t he hack to use the cell? I would’ve loved something like that to really sell us on Survivor Series giving us an old school, story-based 4v4. But oh well, this is still Vince’s show. The 24/7 Championship match in the kickoff was alright. Truth winning with a mix of Cena’s moves and his was alright, but I feel like they could’ve done something having Truth lose and then have to find Gulak before the others do. Maybe Truth holds onto the belt long enough so that Survivor Series gets superstars from all three brands in on the chase.
Then, the main show OPENING with the I Quit match was incredible! I honestly feel like that could’ve gone on at the end and HIAC would’ve had an amazing close. I felt Jimmy being used against Jey like that was going to happen, but not with the set-up of evil actor Roman suckering them both in. Everyone has to admit that Roman is doing the best work he’s ever done, and probably the best character work anyone’s doing in WWE right now. We could even argue on the merits of Roman doing the best character work in American wrestling today, and that’d mean comparing Tribal Chief Roman to anything in AEW, Impact, ROH and anything else you can name.
I’m not sure who to feel worse for: Otis in kayfabe or Otis IRL. Otis was red hot just a few months ago, which is why he was made Mr. MITB. But then things stalled out, should’ve been a bit more obvious to WWE but because it’s Vince, pff so much for that. But with Roman as Universal Champion, and then the world title still in question, it didn’t look like it was Otis’ time anymore. I can understand WWE changing their mind now, but it still doesn’t look or feel that great.
Tucky turning on Otis one way or another is par for the course with WWE changing the tag divisions across both Raw and SmackDown, men’s and women’s. But Otis having nothing, is he going to demand a trade to Raw? It’d make sense, but it also seems like they could’ve just let Otis retain the briefcase and then Tucky betrays Otis by making him think he even has a chance cashing in on Orton or McIntyre. That way Tucker gets back at EVERYONE, both Miz and Otis.
The SmackDown Women’s Championship match was incredible! Great innovation, the animosity helped bring back all the story, but it’s great for Sasha to win. Bayley already passed the 365+ mark, she has her WWE Chronicle special now, and because surely, they’re still friends IRL, Bayley wanted Sasha to finally have the Grand Slam, too. Plus, literally on Friday, 10/30/20, The Mandalorian’s second season drops on Disney+ and Sasha is in that, so it’s a way to advertise and hype that up with a star of the show being a champion. Plus, Sasha being champion freshens up the division, so matches of Sasha VS Bianca, Sasha VS Natalya, Sasha VS Carmella would all be great to have.
And the world title HIAC match was itself a great closer. Orton’s sneak attack and McIntyre brawling with him before the bell were great, everything in the match was great, but they sure didn’t spend as much time up top as I would’ve thought. It seemed really just to set up McIntyre taking that fall off the side, a slight offshoot of the time Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley did it. But it was also a great way to plausibly get through the incredible toughness McIntyre has shown since WrestleMania. Orton wins because of it, but also because of that admittedly creative dodge of the Claymore. With Miz “putting the champions on notice,” I was hoping he and Morrison would jump Orton and cash in, but guess not. Now we have Heels as the top two champions and Mr. MITB, who would in reality be the one to cash in on them. But those complications are for later. Tonight was one hell of a PPV.
My Score: 9/10
Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (12/1/23)
Best Friends are on a Rampage!
Will tonight be Very Nice, Very Evil or whatever?
Greetings humans! Danhausen is back in AEW, and to celebrate, he teams with Orange Cassidy, Trent Beretta & Hook in a Very Nice, Very BIG 8 Man Tag!
- 8 Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Hook, Danhausen & Trent Beretta VS Matthew Menard, Angelo Parker & The Dark Order; OrangeHookHausen & Trent win.
- Six Man Tag: The Don Callis Family VS ???; The Don Callis Family wins.
- Six Woman Tag: Anna Jay & The Outcasts VS Hikaru Shida, Skye Blue & Kris Statlander; Shida, Skye & Statlander win.
- Six Man Tag: Penta El Zero Miedo, El Hijo Del Vikingo & Komander w/ Alex Abrahantes VS Brian Cage & The Workhorsemen w/ Prince Nana; Penta, Vikingo & Komander win.
PLAY BY PLAY
8 Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Hook, Danhausen & Trent Beretta VS Matthew Menard, Angelo Parker & The Dark Order w/ Jake Hager!
OrangeHausen, HookHausen, OrangeHook, all of the above, and #JustTrent take on Daddy Magic, Cool Hang Ange, Alex Reynolds & Evil Uno in a big, super team-up type deal! But will the Very Nice, Very Evil Best Friends be victorious together? Or will the rogues gallery standing against them earn themselves quite a lot of golden opportunities all at once?
But wait, as Big Hurt Hager gets the VNVEBFs to turn their backs, the rogues attack! Fans boo, the bell rings, and all but Danhausen is tossed out of the ring as he tosses Reynolds instead. Uno CLUBS Danhausen, Cassidy is sent into railing, and Uno puts Danhausen in a corner. Uno CHOPS him, soaks up the heat, and then storms up. Danhausen kicks low, throws hands, but Uno kicks back. Uno whips corner to corner, runs in but into a BOOT! Danhausen runs up to RANA! Uno tumbles, fans fire up and Danhausen catches Reynolds as he runs in, wrench and NORTHERN LIGHTS! Fans fire up as Danhausen kicks low and tags Hook.
HookHausen double whip Uno, Uno holds ropes and Menard tags in. Menard, Parker and Reynolds all get in, but then so do Trent and Cassidy! The eight men are stare down, and the brawl is back on! The ref reprimands but the Dark Order & X-JAS get the edge. They all have someone in a corner, then they all coordinate to quadruple whip! But the Best Friends all reverse that, X-JAS and Dark Order crash into each other! And then Best Friends set up in the corners… and Hook needs to be coaxed a little bit, for the GROUP- NO, they all get kicked low! Fans boo as X-JAS & Dark Order reel them in, but the Best Friends QUADRUPLE SUPLEX!
Fans fire up because now we get the GROUP HUG! You GOT to give the people what they want! Hook then goes after Parker with body shots, but Menard storms up. Menard hits low, scoops Hook, BACKBREAKER and Parker KNEES Hook down! But Trent JUMP KNEES Parker down! Menard kicks low and POWERBOMBS Trent! Cassidy dodges Menard to tilt-o-whirl and DDT! Uno CHOPS Cassidy down! Danhausen baits Uno in for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Reynolds runs in, spins Danhausen and ROLLING ELBOWS!
Hook is back up, T-BONE for Reynolds! T-BONE for Parker! Uno is up, he kicks low and whips. Hook reverses that to clinch and T-BONE! Extra large serving for Uno there! But wait, here comes Wheeler Yuta! The ROH Pure Champion wants to taunt Hook like he has been for weeks now, and then Menard CLOBBERS Hook in the distraction! Yuta joins commentary while Menard bumps Hook off buckles, and reels him in for a big suplex! Tag to Parker and he stomps Hook down. Parker stomps more, then pushes Hook around. Parker tags Uno, they mug Hook. Uno then bumps Hook off the boots of Menard and Reynolds.
Reynolds tags in, he runs side to side to ELBOW Hook! Uno SPLASHES, short arm LARIATS, and Reynolds covers, TWO! Reynolds stands on Hook’s head, fans boo but the Dark Order and X-JAS soak up the heat. But Hook clinches! Reynolds fights with forearms, then he bumps Hook off buckles. Tag to Menard, he stomps Hook then lets off to distract the ref, Uno and Parker CHOKE Hook while Rampage goes picture in picture!
Menard stomps Hook, drags him up, and ROCKS him with a right. Menard pushes Hook around, soaks up the heat, but turns around into a CHOP! Menard trips Hook, drags him back, and tags Parker in. Parker CLUBS Hook down, then stomps him. Parker taunts the Best Friends, flicks his hair gel at them, then goes back to Hook. Parker CLUBS Hook, tags Uno, and they mug Hook some more. Uno scrapes his laces on Hook’s face then tags Parker back in. Parker stomps Hook, but Hook powers Parker back! They end up on ropes, Parker KNEES Hook back! Parker then BLASTS Cassidy off the corner!
Rampage returns to singe picture as Parker goes after Hook, and Hook gets around to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Parker tags Menard but Hook LARIATS Menard down! The fans fire up as Hook and Menard crawl, hot tags to Trent and Uno! Trent rallies on Uno, then on Reynolds! GERMAN SUPLEX! And then another GERMAN SUPLEX! Trent still has Reynolds but Reynolds fights the nelson. Uno runs in but Trent ducks, the BOOT hits Reynolds! Trent HALF ‘N’ HALF SUPLEXES Uno away! Trent runs in at Reynolds but into a BOOT! Reynolds goes up but Trent YANKS him down for a SAIDO! Fans fire up with Trent!
Trent tags Cassidy, and Cassidy storms up to “unleash.” But then he really does fire off BOOT after BOOT on Dark Order! Yuta sighs as this is typical Cassidy. Cassidy dodges the Dark Order’s double lariat to DOUBLE SHOTGUN! Cassidy kips up and the fans fire up! Cassidy ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirls, but Uno stops the DDT to suplex! Only to get STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE! Cassidy keeps moving but Uno BOOTS him! Uno hooks Cassidy up, for SOMETHING EVIL! Cover, Trent KNEES it apart! Fans fire up, Reynolds BOOTS Trent! Reynolds runs in to BOOT Cassidy in a corner! Reynolds puts Cassidy up top!
Reynolds ROCKS Cassidy, climbs up, but Trent runs up to get Reynolds! SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up as Cassidy adjusts, and Danhausen tags in! But so does Menard! Menard says do NOT do what he thinks he’s gonna do! But then Danhausen CURSES him! And yes, the PURPLE HAT! Hager is pissed, Parker tries to calm him down, but then Hager runs in! Danhausen dodges, Trent & Cassidy dump Hager out! Menard grabs Danhausen, Parker runs in to get the hat back! But Hook gets Parker in the REDRUM!! Menard lets Danhausen go, but Danhausen rolls him up! BEST FRIENDS WIN!
Winners: Orange Cassidy, Hook, Danhausen & Trent Beretta, by pinfall
Not only is X-JAS furious, but Yuta says this is unbelievable. But will the Decoder have to worry about the much more Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
Backstage interview with The Outcasts & Anna Jay.
Renee Paquette is with Saraya, Ruby Soho & The Star of the Show to say they are teaming up for the first time in Six Woman Tag action. Saraya says yes they are, and sorry for cutting Renee off, Renee knows Saraya loves her, but… Isn’t Anna just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? Ruby sighs and Saraya says “Liza Minnelli” is in a time out so shush. Anyway, Saraya thanks Anna for teaming with them, Lord knows they’ve needed some extra help around here. And also, they do have something in common that is giant, greasy, irritating, and needs to be handled. Oh, speaking of, here it comes.
Parker walks in, apologizes for not being here sooner, and then says hi to Ruby. But uh, yeah, the guys are ready to go, they’ll be out there for her, team effort! Um, no, Anna doesn’t want the boys out there. Especially Parker. What? But Saraya says this is why she loves Anna! She’s great. Yeah, she is. Hey, no, stop looking at Ruby. Saraya drags Ruby along, leaving Parker alone. Will the X-JAS still even be the X-JAS anymore with all this drama?
Tony Schiavone is in the ring.
Schiavone says that 28 years ago, in this town, at the Mall of America, two men were in the main event for the very first wrestling match ever on TNT. It was Sting VS Ric Flair. And Schiavone wants to also say that the final match on TNT back then was Sting VS Ric Flair. So it gives Schiavone a sense of pride to welcome one of Minnesota’s favorite sons, as well as STIIIING~! The Icon makes his way out to the ring and fans howl for him. Schiavone then introduces the Nature Boy, the Minnesota native, Ric Flair! Fans “WOO~!” as Flair makes his way out now, and hugs Sting in the ring.
Schiavone has them bring it in. Wednesday night, they announced the location of Sting’s final match at AEW Revolution, March 3rd, 2024. It will be Greensboro, North Carolina, where these two set the standard for a great televised wrestling event. Sting stands at 24-0, the longest undefeated streak standing, and we’re just two weeks away from tickets going on sale. Sting asks to take the mic, and he howls for the fans! The fans howl back and Sting says Minneapolis, lots of great memories here! Not only did he and Ric do the first and last WCW shows on TNT here, but they did the very big, gigantic- Oh, can’t really say that on TV, sorry. Copyright and stuff.
But the massive match at Mall of America, everyone knows about it. Sting’s had great matches here against and with Lex Luger, Bam Bam Bigelow, and lots of other great memories. So good to be back. Thank you for those memories. Thank you, Tony Khan, Tony Schiavone and the Nature Boy! WOO~! Ric takes the mic now, and he says, “Wow. From 1972 ’til today. And believe it or not, I’m still alive. And that’s saying a lot, heh. Because I’ve covered a lot of ground and had a lot of fun. But there are three or four people that are always gonna be special in my life, and you’ll love these names.
“Dusty Rhodes, Ricky The Dragon, and a guy that I think I’ve wrestled at least 15 hundred times over our career, the great–and the word ‘Icon’ does not even enough to begin to say what a man he is. I’m so serious, to be back in my hometown in this moment, and this ride. This is an incredible ride. Think about the history of our business. I’ve been there with him since ’88, and I’m gonna be there with him in the end. And man, that doesn’t happen in real-life, guys. And y’know what? We’ve stayed as respectful and honest with each other as the day we met, and that’s really unusual. You’re the man, brother.”
Fans cheer, and Ric says, “We’re gonna dance all night and dance a little longer. We’re gonna stay up all night and stay a little longer. I cannot tell you where we’ll be at like the old days, but you know we’ll be going AEW strong! WOO~!” Fans echo “WOO~!” with Ric and Schiavone says Ric will be there for Sting at AEW Revolution, tickets on sale soon! The Icon and Nature Boy are riding off into the night, and we have the when and where. Now all we need is, who faces Sting in his final match?
Backstage interview with Hikaru Shida, Kris Statlander & Skye Blue.
Renee is now with the Shining Samurai, the Galaxy’s Greatest and Chicago Skye as she says a lot has changed in the AEW Women’s Division after Full Gear. Shida lost the AEW Women’s World Championship to Toni Storm, and Statlander lost the AEW TBS Championship to Julia Hart, the same match Skye Blue was in. Does tonight feel like a way to get momentum back? Kris says it has been a hard pill to swallow. “You work so hard for something, and you come back from multiple injuries, you come back and change yourself so many times, and you obtain something so precious, and it’s just taken away in a matter of seconds.”
And worse yet, Kris wasn’t the one who got pinned. Oh, okay, blame Skye when Kris had plenty of chances to win the Triple Threat, and didn’t. Shida tells them to stop. She also lost a title, she also feels angry, but not towards them. Not towards her partners. They can take their anger out on their opponents tonight! Kris agrees with that, and so does Skye. Will this trio of stars be able to bring down The Outcasts and Star of the Show?
The Don Callis Family VS JAH-C
So what if they lost the Like A Dragon Street Fight? “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs did damage to Paul “The Giant” Wight like no man has ever done before, and there’s still a lot left in the tank for Kyle Fletcher & Konosuke Takeshita. Will they only be made stronger from that loss?
The teams sort out, Hobbs starts and Jah throws hands! Hobbs doesn’t even flinch! Jah runs, but Hobbs CLOBBERS him! In runs ??? but Hobbs picks him up to SPINEBUSTER! D runs in but Hobbs SPINEBUSTERS him, too! Fletcher & Konosuke step in, they all get a man up, and in synchronized formation, we get the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM, GRIMSTONE and BASTARD DRIVER!! Cover, The Don Callis Family wins!
Winners: The Don Callis Family, by pinfall
Fans boo but Callis celebrates with his “family.” Then Callis gets a mic to talk. “Chris Jericho and Kenny Omega! The Golden Jets! You put two of the greatest of all time into a tag team and what do you got? You got a team that could be the most dominant of all time. And I know that wins and losses matter here in All Elite Wrestling. But in the Don Callis Family, the only thing that matters is winning! And whether it’s singles, tag, or trios, the Don Callis Family will continue dominating until there’s nowhere for the Golden Jets to hide in AEW!” The ultimatum has been issued, will it only be a matter of time before AEW belongs to the DCF?
Prince Nana & Brian Cage talk with The Workhorsemen.
Nana says it is an unbelievable time for the Mogul Embassy. Cage says it’s always a great time. Nana says the Gates of Agony are in NJPW World Tag League, killing it and bringing home that money. But tonight, Nana needs to hire some help, and that brings in JD Drake & Anthony Henry. Nana has been watching them, he likes their style. That is why tonight, he needs their services. And this could be a huge opportunity for you both to step up to the plate and to prove a point. To impress Swerve Strickland, too. So tonight, Nana’s paid them, get the job done, and we’ll see if they can join the team. But he believes in them!
Nana & Cage head out, will Scrap metal & The Saint of Augusta help The Machine bring down the luchador trio in tonight’s main event?
Six Woman Tag: Anna Jay & The Outcasts VS Hikaru Shida, Skye Blue & Kris Statlander!
Both sides have said what’s on their mind, but it’s the emotions in their hearts that could make or break these team-ups. Will Saraya be able to keep things together between Anna and Ruby? Or will it be Shida who struggles to keep Skye and Kris on the same page?
The teams sort out and Kris starts against Anna. The fans rally as the two circle, then tie up. Kris waistlocks, SLAMS Anna, then drags her up to tag Shida. The former champs double whip, sweep and ELBOW Anna down. Then they shake hands to DOUBLE ELBOW DROP! Shida covers, TWO! Tag to Skye and she wrenches Anna to a JAWBREAKER! Anna blocks the superkick but not the BASEMENT ROUNDHOUSE! Skye pushes Anna around, but Kris tags herself in. Skye lets that go, to then tag herself back in! But Kris tags back in again! They argue, but then Shida tags herself in to get them both to stop.
But then Anna hot tags Saraya! Saraya gets around Shida, Shida gets around Saraya, but Saraya mule kicks Shida! Saraya runs, but Shida ENZIGURIS first! Shida fires up, the fans are with her, and Shida torture racks! Saraya endures, but Ruby says put her down! So Shida DROPS Saraya! Ruby storms in but Shdia kicks her low, and snap suplexes her onto Saraya! Fans fire up as Shida covers Saraya, TWO! Shida tags Skye in and Skye keeps Saraya from her corner. Skye whips, runs up and SHINING WIZARD on the ropes! But Anna distracts the ref so Saraya can keep Skye stuck, and Ruby ROUNDHOUSES Skye down!
Fans boo but Saraya howls to the moon. Saraya stomps Skye, insults her, and whips her to the corner as Rampage goes picture in picture.
Saraya bumps Skye off buckles, lets off to distract the ref, and Ruby digs her boot in! Anna pulls Skye’s hair to help out, then Saraya storms up to bump Skye off buckles. Tag to Ruby, she stomps away on Skye, but lets off as the ref counts. Saraya tells fans to shut up while Ruby drags Skye around. Skye throws body shots, then JAWBREAKERS! Ruby staggers back, Saraya tags in, and the Outcasts mug Skye! Saraya has Skye in the ropes to throw knee after knee! The ref counts, Saraya lets off, and she pushes Skye back in. Saraya keeps Skye from her corner, taunting Shida and Kris, then she stomps Skye.
Saraya bumps Skye off buckles, tags Anna and Anna CHOKES Skye! The ref counts, Anna lets off, and then Anna CHOKES Skye on ropes! The ref counts again, Anna lets off and distracts the ref so Saraya can SLAP Skye. Anna bumps Skye off buckles, Ruby tags in, and Anna ROCKS Skye. Ruby CHOPS Skye, stalks her to a corner, and stands her up, but Skye avoids the chop to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Skye and Ruby sputter and drop to their knees while Rampage goes to break.
Rampage returns and hot tag to Kris! She BLASTS Ruby, drags Saraya up and FISHERMAN BUSTERS! Cover, but Anna kicks it apart! Anna drags Saraya back and tags herself in. Anna stands Kris up, wrenches and HOOK KICKS! Then Saraya KNEES Kris down! Cover, TWO! Anna drags Kris up, QUEENSLAYER SLEEPER! But Kris powers up to back suplex free! Ruby runs in, STO! Skye SUPERKICKS Ruby! Saraya YAKUZA KICKS Skye! Shida ROCKS Saraya, whips her but Saraya reverses, only for Shida to JUMP KNEE! Anna BOOTS Shida! Kris runs up, but into a COMPLETE SHOT! Anna tags Ruby and they get Kris up.
Anna HOOK KICKS, then Ruby SUPERKICKS but Kris pulls Anna into it! Ruby panics, Kris tags Skye and Electric Chair Lifts Ruby! SLAM and CODE BLUE!! Cover, Skye’s team wins!
Winners: Hikaru Shida, Skye Blue & Kris Statlander, by pinfall
The dysfunction wasn’t enough to bring down Skye and Kris, they made it work and now celebrate together! As for Anna, she is furious with Ruby, and Saraya pulls Ruby along like an angry mother with her daughter. Are the Outcasts going to be on the outs sooner rather than later?
BREAKING NEWS for Dynamite!
Firstly, the Continental Classic continues, and the Gold League’s third round has been set: Jon Moxley VS Rush; Jay White VS Jay Lethal; and Swerve Strickland VS Mark Briscoe! Will El Toro Blanco be the one to serve The Maniac that first L in the tournament? Will Lethal and Briscoe finally get on the board?
And after being the one to score the pinfall in tonight’s Six Woman Tag, Skye Blue gets her shot at “Timeless” Toni Storm and the AEW Women’s World Championship! Will Skye finally make it through the Storm to grab the gold on the other side?
Six Man Tag: Penta El Zero Miedo, El Hijo Del Vikingo & Komander w/ Alex Abrahantes VS Brian Cage & The Workhorsemen w/ Prince Nana!
While the AEW World Trios Champions, Billy Gunn & The Acclaimed, are down and out, trios are forming and fighting their way up. Alex Abrahantes’ league of luchadores want their shot, but will they make it through a Rampage? Or will The Mogul Embassy learn that having #CeroMiedo is priceless?
The trios sort out, and Cage starts against Komander. Cage kicks Komander low right at the bell, then whips him to ropes. Komander handsprings, Cage dodges but Komander dodges back, then RAN- NO, Cage blocks that to pop Komander up! But Komander sunset flips! Cage drags Kmoander up to OVERHEAD SUPLEX! Penta tags in, then GAMANGIRIS Cage! Penta goes up to CROSSBODY! And then he dodges to SUPERKICK! Henry tags in, bobs ‘n’ weaves and fires off hands. Henry gets around to make Penta kneel, and he DROPKICKS Penta away! Henry soaks up the jeers, but Penta tags Vikingo!
Viking springboards to MISSILE DROPKICK Henry! Fans fire up as Vikingo then whips Henry corner to corner. Henry reverses, but Vikingo reverses back to HEEL KICK! Vikingo forearm smashes int he corner, goes up and fans rally, for the IMPLODER DRAGON-RANA! And then the DREAMCAST KICK! JD tags in and fans rally up. JD says “SUCK IT!” and then dares Vikingo to chop him. Vikingo winds up as fans chant “SI! SI! SI!” CHOP! JD nods, but he wants another. Vikingo CHOPS again, and JD huffs and puffs. JD swings, Vikingo ducks ‘n’ dodges but JD CHOPS Vikingo down after all!
JD then powers Vikingo to ropes to BIEL him across the way! JD taunts Penta, whips Vikingo, but Vikingo ducks ‘n’ dodges again to CORKCCREW RANA! JD flounders out, Cage and Henry run in, but Penta & Komander SUPERKICK them first! Henry bails out, Penta gives Komander a boost, saluting MISSILE DROPKICK! Cage tumbles out, fans rally as the luchadores coordinate, and “CERO! MIEDO!” TRIPLE DIVES!! Some cleaner than others, and JD pops Vikingo back up to CLOBBER him off the ropes! Komander stomps Cage, and puts him in the ring as Rampage goes picture in picture.
Komander hurries in, Penta BOOTS JD to join Komander. But Henry trips Komander! Penta runs up, SUPERKICKS Henry, then makes sure he knows, “CERO! MIEDO!” Penta runs but into a SPIN POWERSLAM! Cage drags Komander up for a deadlift SUPERPLEX!! Cage flexes, Henry & JD join in, and then JD stalks Komander. JD drags Komander up, DECKS him, then stalks him to ropes. JD puts Komander in the corner, CHOPS, and then tags Henry. The Workhorsemen mug Komander, Henry throws body shots, then he runs in to forearm smash! JD tags, LARIAT, NECK TWIST and SLINGSHOT SENTON!
Nana likes what he sees as Komander writhes. JD drags Komander up, keeps him from the lucha corner, and he CLUBS Komander back down. JD drags Komander up to scoop and SLAM! JD goes up a corner, to then VADER FLOP as Komander moves! Henry tags in, he drags Komander from the corner, then ducks the enziguri! But Komander rolls free and hot tags Vikingo! Vikingo springboards to CROSSBODY! Vikingo SOBATS Henry, runs but into a cheap shot from Cage! The ref reprimands but Henry throws Vikingo down by his hair! NECK TWIST! And a headscissor squeeze, even!
Henry lets off to then stand Vikingo up, for another NECK TWIST! Tag to Cage and he RAMS Vikingo into a corner! And again! And then he CHOPS! Cage wrenches Vikingo, scoops him, and does bicep curls before he FALL AWAY SLAMS Vikingo! Cage flexes, taunts Cero Miedo, and he drags Vikingo up to GERMAN SUPLEX! Vikingo lands on his feet! Vikingo waistlocks, Cage elbows free then whips Vikingo to ropes. But Vikingo slides under, only to get caught! But Vikingo then PELES! Hot tag to Penta as Rampage returns to single picture! Penta dodges Cage to then SLINGBLADE Cage down! SLINGEBLADE again!
The Workhorsemen attack, double whip, but Penta KICKS JD and SUPERKICKS Henry! Penta runs in to wheelbarrow Cage, victory roll and DOUBLE DDT on the Workhorsemen! Fans fire up and Penta SUPERKICKS Cage! Tag to Komander and he goes up top to MISSILE DROPKICK JD! Penta hauls Henry up, ALLEY-OOP into a MISSILE DROPKICK from Vikingo!! Fans lose their minds over that one, and then Penta sets up so Komander can use him as a step, HANGTIME DROPKICK on JD in a corner! Cage staggers up, Penta has his target, SUPERKICK! Komander springboards, FLYIGN CODE BREAKER! And he holds on for Vikingo to DOUBLE STOMP Cage!
Penta goes up, “CERO! MIEDO!” DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS of his own! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives because he’s a Machine! But Abrahantes rallies the fans for his team. Penta hauls Cage up, reels him in, “CERO! MIEDO!” But Cage wrenches out to JUMP KNEE! Penta falls into the tag with Komander, and Komander springboards, but Cage SWATS him! Cage whips Komander to the corner, tags Henry, and Cage runs up to MONKEY FLIP Komander into JD’s POWERBOMB!! Then JD CATAPULTS Kmoander into Henry’s SUPERKICK! Henry goes up, DIVING DOUBLE STOMP BACKBREAKER of their own! Cover, Vikingo breaks it!!
JD TOSSES Vikingo, Penta SUPERKICKS JD! Cage fireman’s carries Penta for F10! Vikingo returns with a springboard, FLYING TORNADO DDT!! Henry is back, he steps over and reels Vikingo in, PILEDRIVER! But Penta catches Henry now, half nelson, pump handle, MADE IN JAPAN!! JD is up, Penta kicks but JD blocks it! JD has Penta for the underhooks, the SILENCER! Komander returns, JD ducks his roundhouse but not the HEEL KICK! But Cage waistlocks Komander! Komander fights with elbows, but Henry runs up! Komander ducks, the ENZIGURI hits Cage! Nana is furious, and Cage CLOBBERS Henry!!
Nana says no more, they’re done. JD asks what the hell, but Cage shoves JD. Vikingo DREAMCAST KICKS JD! The Embassy is leaving, they don’t want to hire Workhorsemen anymore? Well Penta says “CERO! MIEDO!” and FEAR FACTOR!! Komander is up top, he tags Vikingo before giving Henry CIELITO LINDO! Komander DIVES onto JD! Vikingo adds on the 630 SENTON!! Cover, the luchadores win!
Winners: Penta El Zero Miedo, Komander & El Hijo Del Vikingo, by pinfall
The implosion of Nana’s team all over a misunderstanding gives Penta’s team their first victory together! Will Penta, Komander y Vikingo take this momentum to next beat Action Andretti & Top Flight?
A really good Rampage here with a lot of tag team action. There must be something in Cassidy’s contract about opening shows, though, because that 8 Man Tag certainly felt main event worthy. But then it made sense in story that it had to go first so that the X-JAS could be in action before Anna, and Anna would tell Parker to stay in the back during her match because of how Ruby would be involved. Great win for Cassidy’s team, and great win for the Faces in the Women’s Trios match. Rather surprised Skye is getting her shot at Storm so soon. Yes, she interrupted Storm’s acceptance speech moment, and won here, but why not give us a promo segment between them first, then the match on Winter is Coming. But at the same time, debut in Montreal, they want it to be important.
Of course Don Callis Family squashes jobbers, but I like that we got to see Hobbs, Konosuke and Fletcher all in red ring gear. And seeing Don Callis’ Last Supper parody, it makes me think he wants a total of 11 faction members. I say 11 because “Judas” is already accounted for in Jericho. So far, he has five, Callis really is gonna have to recruit tag teams and/or trios if he wants an easier time of filling out the group. Really good main event from Penta’s team going against Cage & Workhorsemen. Of course the Faces win, but also it was clear the Workhorsemen were going to take the loss for the Heels. Kinda wished Cage would beat down the Workhorsemen after the loss, not because of the “misunderstanding” trope, but that’d probably take away from the Faces celebrating.
And given Rampage is prerecorded, turns out that was for the best this week. I’d only just heard today about how… controversial Ric Flair got in his part of the promo segment. Flair also tweeted about it, both apologizing and not apologizing for what he said. This is gonna be a long three months if everyone has to worry about Flair spouting off the stuff he got away with in the 1980s when he was much, MUCH younger. That aside, the entire segment was redundant anyway, we heard them talk on Dynamite, this is the same crowd that heard it all, it’s just a waste of time.
My Score: 8.5/10
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (12/1/23)
SmackDown hears voices!
The Viper is here for The Bloodline!
He returned at WarGames, he returned to Monday Night Raw, and now, The Apex Predator, Randy Orton, returns to Friday Night SmackDown! Will he be able to strike at The Bloodline tonight?
- Pete Dunne VS Bobby Lashley w/ The Street Profits; Lashley wins.
- Santos Escobar VS Joaquin Wilde; Santos wins.
- Kevin Owens VS Grayson Waller w/ Austin Theory; Kevin wins.
- Bianca Belair w/ Charlotte Flair & Shotzi Blackheart VS Kairi Sane w/ DMG CTRL; Bianca wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Bianca Belair is here!
Brooklyn cheers The EST as she skips to the ring, her team victorious against Damage Control in WarGames! After a recap package, fans chant for Bianca and she gets the mic to say, “Man, it is so cool to be in one of the best boroughs in one of the greatEST cities in the world, Brooklyn!” The fans cheer that! Bianca says DMG CTRL really tried to take them out, but her team did what needed to be done. So shout out to Becky Lynch for coming through, showing up and showing out. Shout out to Shotzi for her guts and passion. And shoutout to Charlotte Flair for being a bigger person and making that call to Becky.
“Now while it feels great to be standing in this ring and celebrating that W from WarGames, my war with DMG CTRL, it ain’t over~! Cuz Iyo Sky, I’m still coming for you, cuz I want my title back!” Fans also cheer that. But speaking of Iyo, here she comes! The Evil Genius leads DMG CTRL out, though where’s Bayley? That aside, Dakota Kai is the one to tell Bianca, “It’s really great how uh, you can get all of these people to cheer for you.” The fans boo her but Dakota tells them to shut up! Dakota says just earlier, Iyo was saying how gross it is here in Brooklyn! It smells! Who would want to live here?!
DMG CTRL slide into the ring, and Dakota says Iyo was also saying that Bianca is in way over her head, dude. Iyo already beat Bianca twice. So… if Bianca wants to get yet another shot, she’ll have to go through all of DMG CTRL. Well that ain’t nothing new. So who wants it first, huh? But wait! Here come Charlotte & Shotzi to back Bianca up! Fans cheer as Charlotte says “Ladies~…! Bianca isn’t the only one coming for you. And I’d love to go through all of DMG CTRL.” Shotzi says it seems to her that there’s enough DMG CTRL to go around. They rush in, and the brawl is on! Fans fire up but Iyo TOSSES Bianca and helps Asuka against Charlotte!
Shotzi and Kairi brawl in a corner, Bianca returns, Charlotte BOOTS Asuka way while Bianca RAMS Iyo into a corner! Bianca stomps Iyo down, Charlotte helps Shotzi with Kairi, and Charlotte sets Kairi up for Shotzi’s BOOT! Iyo ends up isolated, and Bianca hits a SPINEBUSTER! Iyo scrambles out, DMG CTRL regroups, are their days on top numbered?
DMG CTRL regroups backstage.
And Bayley is confused as to what’s going on. Iyo angrily asks where Bayley was but Bayley says no one told her they were going out there! Maybe if she knew, things would’ve been different! The joshi talk in Japanese, Dakota cools it off. What matters is that Kairi is facing Bianca tonight. No one knows Bianca better than Bayley so Kairi would appreciate the help. Kairi says yes, they’re “tomodachi <friends>,” that’d be appreciated. Bayley says okay, but are they really Bayley’s friends?
Pete Dunne VS Bobby Lashley w/ The Street Profits!
With Sheamus recovering from injury and Ridge Holland just ditching him last week, The Bruiserweight is all alone against The All Mighty! Will Dunne stand a chance against the overwhelming strength of Bobby Lashley?
SmackDown returns and Lashley makes his entrance, Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins by his side. But before the bell, Lashley gets a mic to say “Hey, listen, kid. When I told you to make a name for yourself…” The fans chant “BOBBY! BOBBY!” and Lashley says that’s a name. Does Dunne know what Lashley can do to him? Lashley will break Dunne into pieces! Is Dunne ready for that? Dunne SLAPS Lashley! Fans fire up, Lashley grins, and the bell rings. Dunne then BOOTS Lashley! And BOOTS! And fires off furious fists! Lashley carries Dunne to then TOSS him! Dunne flounders but also snarls. Dunne swipes at the Profits, but Lashley run sin to CLOBBER him!
Lashley whips Dunne hard into buckles, then storms around. The Profits high-five Lashley and Brooklyn is behind him as he stands Dunne up for haymakers! Lashley smothers Dunne in the corner, lets off to whip corner to corner, then storms up on Dunne. Lashley digs hands into Dunne’s face, the ref counts and Lashley lets off. Lashley runs in but Dunne BOOTS again! Dunne runs up to DROPKICK Lashley out of the ring! Fans are torn as Dunne goes out to FLYING KNEE! Lashley staggers back, Dunne sets up to MOONSAULT! Down goes Lashley and Dunne hurries back up! Dunne ARIHARA MOONSAULTS! Down goes Lashley and fans fire up as SmackDown goes to break!
SmackDown returns and Lashley clotheslines Dunne in a corner! Lashley then brings Dunne around to snap suplex! Dunne writhes, Lashley paces around him and the fans cheer. Lashley drags Dunne up, suplexes again, and this time he holds Dunne up! Dunne throws knees, gets free, and he runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, but Lashley hits a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER! Fans fire up again and Lashley drags Dunne up. Lashley TOSSES Dunne out, storms out after him, and then drags Dunne up again. Fans cheer as Lashley fireman’s carries Dunne, to then POST Dunne! The Profits say this is an extended Black Friday!
Lashley puts Dunne in, Dunne crawls away but Lashley aims. Lashley runs in, but Dunne sends the Spear into the POST! Lashley staggers back, the Profits coach him up, but Dunne GAMANGIRIS! Dunne runs up to ENZIGURI! Lashley ends up in a corner, Dunne GAMANGIRIS again! And again! Dunne KICKS and KICKS and KICKS, then pushes Lashley out so he can go up. Dunne DOUBLE STOMPS an arm! Dunne bends the fingers, isolates the arm, and STOMPS the arm! Lashley grits his teeth but Dunne reels him in. ASAI DDT! Cover, TWO! Lashley is tougher than that but Dunne keep son him with HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS!
But Lashley fights up! Fireman’s carry, then an adjustment, for the OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! Cover, TWO!! Dunne survives and Lashley is annoyed. Ford says yeah, Dunne’s got heart, but that’s about it. Lashley hauls Dunne up but Dunne SLAPS him! Lashley LARIATS Dunne inside out! Lashley then drags Dunne up, MILE HIGH- ENZIGURI! Dunne gets up, Lashley SPEARS him back down!! Cover, Lashley wins!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by pinfall
The Bruiserweight put up a fight, but Lashley is still Lashley. Will The All Mighty soon head for a title as we head for the New Year?
Paul Heyman walks into Nick Aldis’ office.
The Wise Man seems rather indignant looking at the SmackDown General Manager. Heyman then dusts off the New York Jets NFL Legacy belt before speaking. “Did you invite Randy Orton to SmackDown tonight?” Aldis says yes, he did. And Aldis intends to sign Randy to a SmackDown exclusive superstar contract tonight. Heyman looks around and asks if the Tribal Chief knows about this. Aldis says Heyman has forgotten that there are countless memos: All communication to Roman Reigns must go through Paul Heyman. So consider this a communication to Roman: Aldis WILL sign Randy to SmackDown.
And if Aldis has to offer up the entire Bloodline as leverage, so be it. So the question to Heyman is… “What’re you gonna do about it?” Heyman says, “Anything it takes.” Heyman gets on his phone to call Roman Reigns. But is there nothing that can stop The Viper from finally being within striking distance of The Tribal Chief?
Backstage interview with Pete Dunne.
Kayla Braxton says he lost to Lashley, but she wants to talk about last week. Why did Ridge walk out on him? Dunne says he doesn’t know. And he doesn’t care. Because right now isn’t about the Brutes, it’s about Dunne! He is going to focus on himself. He is here to fight, and he will fight anyone! But in walk Pretty Deadly. They say this is so tough. But don’t be sad, use this as a learning opportunity. Sometimes, being abandoned can help you find your own path. Even if that path, like Dunne’s career, hits a dead end. Dunne HITS them! Dunne fires off but that’s 2v1 and Pretty Deadly turns it around! They TOSS Dunne into a road case!
How’s that, Butch?! HUH!? You’re alone! ALONE! And always will be! Elton Prince & Kit Wilson have numbers on their side, but will Dunne still get revenge?
Backstage interview with Santos Escobar.
Cathy Kelley says given his recent history with the LWO, what can we expect in his match with Joaquin Wilde here? Santos says he’s only trying to finish what Rey started. Rey turned his back on the LWO when he chose Carlito over Santos. And now Santos’ own brothers in arms are blinded by their hero, not seeing that Rey will do the same to them. Cruz is still recovering from the last time he tried standing up to Santos. And if Wilde can’t see the truth, Santos will put him on the shelf, too. The Emperor of Lucha is becoming a tyrant, but will he be unstoppable in destroying what he helped create?
Santos Escobar VS Joaquin Wilde!
SmackDown returns and Wilde makes his entrance. The bell rings and Wilde DROPKICKS Santos! And DROPKICKS again! Then kips up and ROCKS Santos with haymakers! Fans fire up, Wilde whips and ELBOWS Santos down! Then drops an elbow! Santos bails out but Wilde PLANCHAS out onto him! Fans fire up again and Wilde CLUBS Santos. Wilde puts Santos in the ring, then aims again, but Santos bails out! Fans boo but Wilde just goes to the corner! Springboard CANNONBALL! Direct hit and the fans fire up all over again! Wilde snarls and he puts Santos back in. Cover, TWO! Wilde keeps on Santos with a shove.
Wilde then goes up a corner, but Santos sweeps the legs! Wilde tumbles down, Santos stomps away and RAMS Wilde into a corner. Santos puts Wilde in the Tree of Woe, goes to the far side and runs in, DROPKICK! Wilde falls out of the Tree, Santos snapmares to cover, TWO! Santos is annoyed but he CLUBS away on Wilde’s chest! Santos rips up the LWO shirt! Fans boo but Santos throws the shirt away. Santos drags Wilde up, CLUBS him, then clamps onto an arm with a cording hold. Wilde endures, Santos talks trash that HE is the LWO, but the fans rally up. Wilde fights up to his feet, throws knees, but Santos whips Wilde away.
Santos storms up, Wilde ELBOWS him, then bumps Santos off buckles. Wilde fires haymakers again, then whips. Santos reverses but Wilde ducks ‘n ‘dodges to dropkick a leg out! Fans rally up behind Wilde and he runs up to KNEE Santos down! Wilde roars and fans are with him! Wilde runs back in, SOMERSAULT SATELLITE DDT!! Cover, TWO!! Santos survives and Wilde grows frustrated. Wilde hurries back to a corner to aim again. Wilde runs in, into a SUPERKICK! Santos says this is what happens when you cross him! Fireman’s carry, and “This is for YOU, Rey!” PHANTOM DRIVER!! Cover, Santos wins!
Winner: Santos Escobar, by pinfall
But Santos isn’t done sending his message! He beats down Wilde with fists, the ref tells him to stop, but Santos refuses! So here comes Dragon Lee! The Boy Wonder may have lost at Survivor Series but he won’t let Santos just do what he wants! Santos bails out, he did what he wanted. Wait, he slithers back in! But Dragon is ready and fires haymakers on him! Dragon whips, Santos reverses but Dragon RANAS! Santos ends up in a corner, Dragon JUMP KICKS, leg sweeps, and SWINGING DROPKICK! Combinacion Dragon hits, and fans fire up! Dragon aims again, BULL’S HORNS!! Santos flounders away, is his fight with Dragon far from over?
Nick Aldis greets Logan Paul backstage.
The Maverick is her with his United States Championship, ready to make his first appearance on SmackDown. What will the ImPAULsive Influencer have to say about being United States Champion? We find out, after the break.
Adam Pearce visits Nick Aldis in his office.
And the Raw GM asks the SmackDown GM to tell him the rumor isn’t true. Is Aldis trying to get a Raw Legend out from under Pearce’s nose? Aldis tells Pearce that Randy is a free agent now. But yes, Aldis does intend to sign Orton right here tonight in that ring. Is that so? Yeah, Pearce had his chance on Monday. Don’t worry about what happened on Monday. If Aldis is going to the ring with a contract, Pearce will join him. Pearce also has a contract folder! Nice office, by the way. Pearce heads out, who wins the signature of the Legend Killer?
Logan Paul heads to the ring!
Brooklyn is a little torn on seeing the Maverick in person, though probably because he needed brass knuckles to load his already titanium reinforced hand to beat Rey Mysterio. But Logan gets the mic to say, “To every friend who stabbed me in the back, to every hater who preyed on my downfall, I’ve got a question: WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!” He doesn’t understand. Don’t they get it by n ow? The more they hope he fails, the harder he works. And the harder he works, the more he wins. And the more he wins, the more he gets to stand up here and bark back!
And to all the jealous superstars backstage mad at him because they’ve been doing this their whole life while he’s the fastest rising superstar in history, you want the US Championship? Of course you do! It has been on his junk, just like y’all have since he got here! But a champ is only as good as his challengers, and since Rey is hurt, Logan can’t give him the rematch he was so excited for. So good news! Logan spoke with Aldis, and they have created a tournament to determine his next challenger. It starts next week, featuring eight superstars!
Santos Escobar, Dragon Lee, Karrion Kross, an NXT superstar to still be determined, Bobby Lashley, Grayson Waller, Austin Theory, and of course Kevin Owens. And Logan guarantees whoever wins this will have a nightmare trying to take this title from him. But wait, speaking of! Here comes Kevin Owens! Brooklyn fires up for The Prizefighter as he heads right for the ring. Kevin gets himself a mic and he says if Logan wants to talk about a nightmare, this, Logan Paul in the ring, is a nightmare. The first time Kevin ever saw Logan was 10 years ago on that app, Vine. And back then, it only took Kevin those six seconds to realize Logan is an unbearable jackass.
Fans cheer in agreement, and Kevin says if we’re talking about “junk,” the only junk is that crap drink Logan peddles. And now, guess what? Kevin is here to tell us that if he’s in the tournament, the nightmare will end. Logan’s days as champion will be numbered. That’s funny. Kevin calls himself a prizefighter, but Logan’s been in the ring with the greatest boxers in the world. If these two were to fight, six seconds is five more than Logan needs to KO KO. Kevin will never take this away from Logan: he’s very clever. But the thing is, that’s another world. This ring, the WWE Universe, it’s Kevin’s world, understand?
Logan says we’ll see about that. But then here comes Grayson Waller & Austin Theory! Logan smiles because it’s like looking in a mirror as these two walk down here. And Waller tells Logan he is better than this. He doesn’t need to talk with Kevin, Kevin is a troll looking for attention. He isn’t a forward thinking disruptor like the three of them. They have a lot in common, really. A-Town Down Under get in the ring, and Kevin says he loves punching people in the face. Look who he is in the ring with: Logan Paul is a man who knocks people out. So after Logan is done knocking Kevin out, maybe Kevin’s days of punching people- KEVIN DECKS THEORY!
Fans fire up as Theory tumbles out, and Waller goes to check on his buddy. Logan and Kevin drop their mics, stare down, and fans fire up as Kevin dares Logan to make the first move. Logan says worry about Waller first. Will Kevin give us a preview of the US Championship Contender’s Tournament? We find out after the break!
Kevin Owens VS Grayson Waller w/ Austin Theory!
SmackDown returns and Logan is sticking around to be on commentary for this one. Logan says he is like a proud father watching his sons on the playground. The bell rings, Waller bails out and regroups with Theory. Kevin goes out to ROCK Waller! And CHOP him! And then SMACK Waller off the desk! The ring count climbs, Kevin throws hands and he puts Waller in the ring. The ref makes sure Theory stays back, but then Waller stomps away on Kevin. Waller talks trash, UPPERCUTS Kevin, but Kevin CHOPS back! Waller kicks low, CLUBS Kevin on the neck, then cravats him into the ropes! The ref counts, Waller lets off.
Waller whips, Kevin reverses and CLOBBERS Waller! Then SENTONS! Fans rally, Kevin runs in at the corner and he clotheslines! Kevin then goes corner to corner, but Waller gets up to BOOT him! Waller LEG LARIATS! Waller rains down fists, then talks trash. Logan isn’t sure how well Kevin is built for this. Waller throws hands again, Logan denies knowing anything about brass knuckles, and Waller goes along the ropes. BALLER ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Kevin SLAPS Waller! And SLAPS him again! Waller BOOTS Kevin down! Waller snarls, drags Kevin up, but Kevin fights the suplex! The fans rally, Kevin suplexes Waller up and over!
Kevin glares at Logan, then CHOPS Waller! And CHOPS again! Kevin fakes the chop to then poke Waller in the eye! Kevin goes corner to corner, but then Waller bails out! No cannonball here and fans boo. Kevin goes out after Waller but Waller ROCKS him first! And SMACKS Kevin off the desk! Logan holds onto his Prime to make sure it doesn’t spill. Waller gets in the ring, builds speed and slides, but Kevin avoids the lariat to DECK Waller! Kevin gets on the apron, to FROG SPLASH to the floor! Fans fire up with Kevin while the ring count climbs. Kevin goes out after Waller again, but Waller RAMS him into steel steps!
Waller gets in to distract the ref, Theory STOMPS Kevin’s hand on the steps! Theory signals that to Waller and Waller stomps that arm! Waller slides out to then SLAM the arm into the post! Fans boo as A-Town Down Under high-five, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Kevin hits a FROG SPLASH in the ring! Fans fire up again while both men are down. Kevin shakes the bad hand out while Waller goes to the corner. Kevin storms up but Waller hits the bad hand! Then ARMBAR DDT! Waller hammerlocks that arm, then hits a ROLLING SNAP on the arm! Waller traps that arm in a double wristlock but Kevin endures. The fans rally, Kevin fights up, and he throws body shots with the good hand. Fans cheer, Kevin throws Waller out, but Waller grabs at Kevin’s bad hand. HOTSHOT on that arm! SOMERSAULT STUN- NO, atomic drop first! And then a DDT!
Fans fire up as Kevin evens things out. Kevin goes to ropes, drags himself up, but Waller runs up. Kevin blocks to HEADBUTT, CHOP and CHOP! Then a forearm! But that’s the bad arm! Waller runs in, Kevin dodges and SUPERKICKS! Waller is in the corner, Kevin runs in to CANNONBALL! Kevin goes up the corner again, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Waller survives and Theory rubs it in that it was just a two. Kevin keeps his focus, kicks low, but Waller grabs the bad arm to stop the stunner! Waller STOMPS the fingers! FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Kevin endures, fights around, but Waller twists the wrist!
Kevin keeps fighting, reaches out, and ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Waller lets go at 4. Waller has Kevin in the corner, puts the bad hand inside a buckle pad, and then runs up to PUNT only buckle! Kevin rolls Waller up, KEVIN WINS!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall
Logan can’t even! Kevinn pulled off a minor miracle, can he do that all over again in the opening round of this coming tournament?
BREAKING NEWS for next week!
CM Punk will show up on Friday Night SmackDown in Providence, Rhode Island! What more will the returning Best in the World have to say about “coming home” to the WWE?
Bianca Belair w/ Charlotte Flair & Shotzi Blackheart VS Kairi Sane w/ DMG CTRL!
The Evil Genius said The EST will have to not just earn her rematch for the title, she’ll have to get through everyone in DMG CTRL first! Bianca said bet, but will she be able to sink the Pirate Princess? Or will Bayley’s tips help Kairi end the series before it begins?
SmackDown returns and DMG CTRL has a pep talk backstage. Dakota asks if Bayley is okay. Yeah, yeah, she’s good. Go, Kairi. Dakota says Bayley doesn’t seem like herself, and then Iyo says Bayley will stay backstage tonight. Bayley ends up the odd one out as the others make their entrance, what is that about? But that aside, the bell rings and the fans rally up for Bianca. Bianca and Kairi circle, approach, but Kairi dodges. They tie up, Bianca puts Kairi in a corner but Kairi dodges to KICK a leg! Kairi goes to roll up but Bianca stays up! Then Bianca handsprings free, and she runs Kairi over! Bianca dusts off her hands, then keeps moving.
Kairi drops, Bianca handsprings over her, and then runs her over again! Bianca wags her fingers, then drags Kairi up. Kairi throws body shots, but Bianca blocks the whip! Bianca reverses, Kairi uses ropes to go up and RANA, but Bianca handsprings through to DROPKICK! Fans fire up while Bianca eggs Kairi on. Bianca stands Kairi up, scoops her, but Kairi fights free! Kairi grabs the braid, but Bianca uses that to reel Kairi in and DECK her! Bianca runs, but Asuka trips her up while the ref is checking Kairi! Kairi fires off on Bianca while fans boo, and Kairi SLAPS Bianca! DMG CTRL taunts Bianca, Kairi runs, but Charlotte trips her!
Btu the ref SAW Charlotte do it! So the ref EJECTS Charlotte and Shotzi! Fans boo but then Asuka is caught slithering in! So the ref EJECTS DMG CTRL! Now all things are equal and that doesn’t sit well with DMG CTRL! Asuka protests but Bianca DROPKICKS her down! Kairi goes after Bianca, shoves her to a corner, but Bianca shoves Kairi! The EST and Pirate Princess stare down as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Kairi has Bianca down with the ANCHOR HOLD! Bianca endures as Kairi bridges back, but then Bianca powers Kairi away! Bianca runs in, but gets POST! Kairi AX KICKS Bianca down, covers, TWO! Kairi stays on Bianca with a chinlock, then gets the arms for a straitjacket stretch. Bianca endures, fans rally up, and Bianca fights to her feet. Kairi ends up a backpack , but Bianca powers up to arm-drag Kairi away! Bianca eggs Kairi on, then scoops her to SLAM her! Fans fire up as Bianca scoops and SLAMS again! Bianca huffs and puffs and whips Kairi to a corner! Bianca storms up to then climb up, and she rains down fists!
The fans cheer and count along, Bianca goes all the way to TEN! Then she backflips away, Kairi runs in into a SPINEBUSTER! Bianca runs, handspring MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Kairi escapes and Bianca can’t believe it. But Bianca then drags Kairi up to a fireman’s carry. Kairi fights free, waistlocks, and they go to ropes. Bianca bucks the O’Conner, scoops Kairi again, and SLAMS her! Cover, TWO! Bianca stands Kairi up but Kairi URAKENS! Bianca goes to the corner, Kairi screams and marches to the far side. Fans boo as she runs back in, SLIDING D! Kairi pushes Bianca out, goes to the top, FLYING KABUKI ELBOW! Cover, TWO!
Bianca is reminding us she’s the toughEST and that makes Kairi mad. Kairi storms up to URA- NO, Bianca blocks and chicken wings! But Kairi victory rolls to send Bianca right out! Kairi then goes to the apron, runs in, but Bianca avoids the elbow to chicken wing! GlamEST Slam on the barriers! Fans fire up as Bianca puts Kairi in, but wait! Bayley sneaks out here! She grabs the braid and YANKS Bianca down! The ref notices Bayley now and is confused, but he did eject the others, not her. Kairi and Bayley high five and then Kairi climbs. Kairi prepares that elbow, but Bianca ROCKS her first!
Bianca drags Kairi off the corner into the torture rack! Bayley freaks out for the KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!!
Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall
Bayley has no words as her help had no effect! Bianca can check Kairi off the list and she continues on, who will she look to take down next?
BREAKING NEWS for the United States Championship Contender’s Tournament!
Our first two opening round matches are set! Dragon Lee and Santos Escobar get to run it back from Survivor Series while Bobby Lashley and Karrion Kross clash for the first time in the WWE! The special Tribute to the Troops edition of SmackDown is the perfect place to start this tournament, but who will move on to the second round?
Nick Aldis and Adam Pearce are both in the ring.
The General Managers are both here, and Aldis says “Ladies and gentlemen, as your General Manager, it is my distinct honor and privilege to welcome back to SmackDown, the Viper, Randy…! Orton…!” The fans fire up as Randy indeed makes his way to the ring, and he looks just as happy to be back! Orton joins Aldis and Pearce in the ring, strikes his pose on the corner, then revels in the fans chanting his name. Randy gets so fired up, he throws his vest off! Pearce says this is electric, but Aldis says, “How dare you interrupt me on MY show!” Pearce says Aldis better calm down. Randy is a Raw legend, that is where he belongs.
But Aldis can give Randy the one thing he wants, right here on SmackDown. Pearce knows what Aldis is getting at, and counter offers with a World Heavyweight Championship opportunity. Randy is rather taken aback, but Aldis says he can give Randy the guys who took him out. But “Ladies and gentlemen, things that live in Brooklyn,” here comes Paul Heyman. And he serves as the Wise Man to Your REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED! WWE UNIVERSAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…! Roman… Reigns. And look who’s back. “After 18 months on the shelf, thanks to Roman Reigns and The Bloodline, Randy Orton comes home looking for revenge.”
But there will be no RKOs this evening, and there will be no decision made by Randy Orton, because The Bloodline is going to make his decision for him. Fans boo but then here comes Solo Sikoa! Jimmy Uso is also with the Enforcer, and the GMs get outta there. Jimmy slides in but Randy stomps away! Solo run sin but Randy fires off hands! Randy fights them both 2v1 but that gets the better of him! But here comes L A KNIGHT! Fans go wild again as the Mega Star runs in and kicks Jimmy! Then he fires off on Solo! Fans chant “YEAH! YEAH!” with every shot! Knight dumps Solo out but Solo drags him out! So Knight fires hands then throws Solo into barriers!
Knight and Solo head up the ramp, but Orton gets Jimmy! He puts Jimmy in the ropes, to DRAPING DDT! And despite what Heyman said, fans want to see it! Orton grins and he hears those voices! Jimmy gets up, for an R K O!!! Heyman is furious, but Orton has the GMs hand over the contracts. Orton looks them both over, Heyman says to stay safe by going with Raw. But Orton looks at Jimmy, who is still out cold. So yeah, Orton signs with SmackDown! Then Orton gets on the mic to say, “Hey, Paul… You can call Roman Reigns. And you can tell him… Daddy’s back.” The fans fire up for that! Aldis raises Randy’s hand in celebration, only to get an RKO!!
The fans are even more fired up as Randy is going to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants! Will the Apex Predator soon make himself the Head of the Table?
A great SmackDown here to follow up Survivor Series while turning the corner. A brilliant story beat for how to get Orton on SmackDown so he can go after The Bloodline, and great move to have LA Knight help out. With Kevin now shifting his attention to Logan Paul and the US Championship, Knight and Orton are going to be a good duo going after the Bloodline together, probably have a tag match with Jimmy & Solo, and maybe a few singles matches, before Randy takes on Roman at the Royal Rumble. I don’t expect Randy to win the Universal Championship because it just doesn’t seem like Roman’s losing before Mania, maybe not even at Mania, but this is going to be good stuff for Randy in his return.
And speaking of the US Championship Contender’s Tournament, awesome field right there, because for one, Karrion Kross gets to do stuff again. And second, it has the classic “settling feuds here” matches you see in WWE tournaments. And also, it gives an NXT superstar an opportunity, possibly even a call-up, so can’t wait to see who HHHBK agree should jump in here. Really good promos from Logan, Kevin and A-Town Down Under to help set this in motion, and Kevin VS Waller was great stuff as a preview. Kevin snatching the win feels like an indicator that he’ll make it to the end, maybe even win the whole thing, only to sadly lose to Logan in the title match.
Lashley being in the field is great, too, he had an awesome opening match with Dunne. Dunne is having to find himself again as his current trio falls apart and then gets beat down by Pretty Deadly. I hope there’s a two birds, one Big Strong Boi opportunity taken here: put Tyler Bate in the contender’s tournament, give him a great showing, but then have him be Dunne’s old-new tag partner so that the mainstream WWE fandom can see the greatness of British Strong Style. And then of course Santos beats Wilde, and Dragon makes a great save to get some heat going into their rematch. I would like to think Dragon wins the rematch to move towards the title, and Santos can screw him over in the later rounds.
And we continue to get awesome stuff out of the DMG CTRL story. Bianca of course wants her title rematch and that means having her go against DMG CTRL again, but Iyo purposefully keeping Bayley at arm’s length is a nice detail. Bayley taking the pin in WarGames despite all her efforts, and then Bayley costing Kairi against Bianca despite her good intentions, the last straw is more than likely gonna be if/when Bayley loses to Bianca, and then maybe, just maybe, the same way Becky and Charlotte made amends, Bayley will try to make amends with Charlotte. There are a lot of stories in WWE right now about forgiveness and grudges, it’d be fitting if Bayley went on a soul searching journey a la Jey Uso and Sami Zayn.
My Score: 8.8/10
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Down the Wire: A Thanksgiving Special
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Down the Wire: Scatergories, MLB Awards & Week 11 Picks
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