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Mitchell’s New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/10/21)

New Japan Cup, day 5!

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NJPW New Japan Cup 2021

The New Japan Cup’s opening round finishes here!

Will Yoshi-Hashi #TurnItAllAround against the Tokyo Pimp? Will we all Breath with the Switchblade as Jay White takes on the Hammerhead, Toa Henare?

NOTE: NJPW no longer wants to feed AXS TV now that it is with Anthem and Impact Wrestling. But never fear, I will cover NJPW in the spirit of AXS in providing the most important matches of the show.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: David Finlay VS Chase Owens; Finlay wins and advances.
  • 2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: YOSHI-HASHI VS Yujiro Takahashi; Yoshi-Hashi wins and advances.
  • 2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: Toa Henare VS Jay White; White wins and advances.

PLAY BY PLAY

2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: David Finlay VS Chase Owens!

The Flamboyant One is out thanks to Kenta, so it’s up to Finlay to carry on for his team! But will the Texas Heavyweight Champion spill the FinJuice and move on to round two?

The bell rings and Finlay circles with Chase as fans build to a rally. They feel out the grapple, each avoid the other’s leg shoot, but then Finlay gets in, only for Chase to block. Chase facelocks, Finlay slips to a waistlock but Chase switches to hammerlock. Finlay spins through to hammerlock then headlock. Chase tries to power out but Finlay holds on tight. Chase pulls hair but Finlay throws him with a headlock takeover. Chase turns that right into his own headlock, and Chase shrugs off the headscissor attempts. Finlay gets up, powers out and drops to dropkick! Fans cheer as Finlay smiles and brings Chase right up, for a suplex! Cover, TWO!

Finlay keeps his cool while he brings Chase up. Chase shoves him to a corner, Finlay elbows him away and hops up, but Chase blocks the boot to YANK Finlay into the BACKBREAKER! Chase steadies himself while Finlay writhes, and Chase stomps him down. Chase drags Finlay up, whips him to a corner hard, and lets Finlay fall to the mat. Chase elbows Finlay in the back, clamps onto his arms and turns him to get the legs. Chase ties the legs up for the Bow ‘n’ Arrow! Fans rally as Finlay endures, but Chase lets him down to get more leverage. Chase lets Finlay go, Finlay throws body shots but Chase whips and elbows Finlay down. Chase runs for a BIG elbow drop! Cover, TWO!

Chase gets annoyed but he stalks Finlay to ropes. Fans rally but Chase claws Finlay in the back! Finlay swings but into the Northern Lights! Bridging cover, TWO! Chase keeps on Finlay with a body scissors squeeze! Finlay endures, Chase pulls hair but the ref reprimands. Chase lets go of hair and lets Finlay free, and Finlay throws body shots. Chase knees low, kicks but Finlay blocks to hit a neckbreaker! Fans cheer as Finlay gets up slowly. Chase stands, Finlay throws forearms and EuroUppers! Finlay whips, Chase reverses but Finlay comes back with a leaping elbow! Chase bails out but Finlay PLANCHAS! Finlay drags Chase up and in and aims from a corner.

Chase goes to the other corner, Finlay runs in to uppercut! Finlay hops up, leaps, but Chase gets under. Chase comes back but into Finlay’s DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO! Fans rally for Finlay as he brings Chase up but Chase fights off the exploder. Chase throws Finlay out, builds speed and WRECKS Finlay with a dropkick! Finlay hits railing, Chase puts him in and climbs up top. Chase leaps, into Finlay’s arms, for an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Finlay grits his teeth and fans rally up as he vows to finish this! Finlay puts on a cravat and heads for the corner, but Chase shoves him away. Finlay runs back in but Chase throws him into the corner! Finlay bounces off buckles and hits the mat!

Fans rally as both men are down, and Finlay gets back to the corner. Chase runs in to forearm smash, then short arm LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Chase tries again, TWO! Another cover, TWO! A fourth cover, TWO!! Fans cheer while Chase grows annoyed. Chase stands, fans rally, and Chase fireman’s carries Finlay. Finlay fights free, waistlocks but Chase switches, only for Finlay to roll and get Chase to a cover, TWO! Chase has the ghost pin, TWO! Chase runs in but Finlay dodges, only for Chase to dodge the dropkick! Chase hits a SHINING WIZARD, then drags Finlay right up for a half nelson BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Finlay survives and fans rally up again.

Chase grits his teeth as he gets back up. Chase mocks the Hulkster, wanting to hear the fans. Chase drags Finlay up, Finlay shoves him away, but Chase comes back with a forearm. Finlay forearms back, so Chase hits him again. Chase eggs Finlay on, Finlay throws another forearm! Chase forearms, Finlay forearms, repeat! Fans rally as both men speed up! Chase gets the edge, but Finlay gives it back, and adds a EuroUpper! Chase boots, Finlay forearms, Chase LARIATS! Cover, TWO! Finlay is still in this and fans still rally for him. Chase bails out and rips up the floor mats! The ref reprimands but he also has to keep Juice Robinson back. Chase gets his title belt and CLOBBERS Finlay!! Cover, TWO!!

Finlay survives the belt shot and Chase is furious! Chase drags Finlay back up, tucks him in but Finlay is dead weight. Chase drags Finlay up and says, “I’m going to kill you!” Chase SLAPS Finlay, but Finlay dodges the Jewel Trigger! Chase bucks the O’Conner roll and catches Finlay for a REBOUND BACKBREAKER! Chase keeps moving, and he hits a PSYCHO KNEE! Then he tucks Finlay in, for a- NO! Finlay ranas and covers, FINLAY WINS!!

Winner: David Finlay, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

The Crown Jewel tried to rob Finlay, but he gets robbed instead! NJCUP aside, does Finlay now have a shot at the belt Chase clobbered him with?

 

2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: YOSHI-HASHI VS Yujiro Takahashi!

The Head Hunter may not be an IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champion, but he’s still a NEVER Openweight Six Man Champion! Will Hashi #TurnItAllAround and head for the next round? Or will the Tokyo Pimp slap him down so hard he can’t #GetBackUp?

The bell rings and Yujiro BOOTS Hashi, then runs to BOOT him again! Hashi stays up, Yujiro whips but Hashi reverses. Hashi dodges the boot to shoulder and elbow him down! Yujiro gets up but Hashi scoops and SLAMS him! Fans cheer as Hashi stomps Yujiro then drags him up. Yujiro pulls Hashi’s hair and Red Shoes reprimands, but then Yujiro rakes Hashi’s eyes! Yujiro runs but Hashi trips him, drags him out and RAMS him into railing! Hashi whips Yujiro into more railing, but Yujiro gets his pimp cane! Hashi stalks around the way, Yujiro JAMS Hashi with the cane! Yujiro brings Hashi around and whips him into railing!

Red Shoes sees the pimp cane and reprimands but Yujiro pushes him aside to bring Hsahi to the ramp. CANE SHOT! Red Shoes reprimands and Yujiro leaves Hashi behind to go into the ring. Fans rally for Hashi as the ring count starts. Hashi slowly rises but doesn’t stand until 10 of 20. Hashi gets in at 13 but Yujiro rains down forearms. Yujiro lets off to stomp Hashi, then paces about. Yujiro drags Hashi up, fans rally, and Hashi headbutts low! Yujiro still snapmares Hashi to drop a leg, drop an elbow and drop a headbutt! Cover, TWO! Yujiro keeps his cool as he looms over Hashi. Yujiro drags Hashi up, scoops him and SLAMS him!

Hashi sits up and clutches his back, Yujiro drags him into a chinlock. Yujiro lets off to basement boot Hashi in the back! Cover, ONE! Yujiro gets annoyed and he paces around. Yujiro drags Hashi up, reels him in and back suplexes! Cover, TWO! Yujiro kicks at Hashi, slaps him around, but Hashi gets up and in Yujiro’s face. Hashi throws forearms but Yujiro knees low! Yujiro knees again, and avoids Hashi’s spinning kick to basement boot! Cover, TWO! Yujiro drags Hashi back up, fisherman but no suplex as Hashi suplexes back. Yujiro slips out, mule kicks and reels Hashi in, but Hashi hits the suplex first! Fans rally up as Hashi gets to his feet.

Yujiro stands, Hashi throws forearms and body shots, then CHOPS! Hashi whips, Yujiro reverses but Hashi dropkicks the legs out! Fans fire up as Hashi runs in and CHOPS Yujiro at the corner! Hashi brings Yujiro around but Yujiro elbows the neckbreaker away. Hashi dodges Yujiro’s clothesline and comes back with the HEAD HUNTER! Yujiro staggers up and Hashi CHOPS him at ropes! Hashi hangs Yujiro out to dry, then runs to dropkick him down! Hashi keeps moving to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up, Hashi looms over Yujiro and brings him up. Hashi reels Yujiro in, but Yujiro blocks the lift and BITES the hand!

Red Shoes reprimands, Yujiro lets go, and then STUN GUNS Hashi! Yujiro runs to BOOT Hashi, throw him down and cover, TWO! Fans cheer as Hashi stays in this but Yujiro grows frustrated. Yujiro brings Hashi back up, Hashi fires off forearms! Yujiro forearms back, Hashi forearms again, and fans rally as the two build speed! Yujiro gets the edge, SLAPS Hashi, then slaps him again! Hashi SLAPS back! Yujiro blocks the superkick, trips Hashi and runs, into a LARIAT! But Yujiro is right up to LARIAT Hashi back! Fans rally as both men are down and stirring. Hashi crawls to a corner but Yujiro runs in, to BOOT Hashi!

Yujiro whips but Hashi reverses, Yujiro comes back but Hashi CHOPS him! Hashi powers out but Yujiro reels him in for an INCOLLE SLAM! Yujiro fires up as he drags Hashi from a corner. Yujiro hoists Hashi up top, climbs up, and hits a SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER! Yujiro isn’t done, he gets Hashi up for another FISHERSMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Hashi survives and fans fire up! Yujiro is furious and he drags Hashi back up. Fans rally, Yujiro fires up and reels Hashi in, but no Pimp Juice! Hashi shoves Yujiro to hit the spinning mule kick! Yujiro staggers into the SUPERKICK! Hashi fires up, drags Yujiro into a full nelson and spin, but Yujiro spins out to fireman’s carry! MIAMI SHINE! Cover, TWO!!

Hashi shocks Yujiro and he loses his cool! Fans rally up as Yujiro drags Hashi back up. Yujiro reels Hashi in, but still no Pimp Juice as Hashi slips out! Yujiro falls back hard and clutches his head while Hashi crawls to the other side. Hashi drags himself up, fires up, and runs at Yujiro! LARIATS collide but Hashi keeps moving! Yujiro BOOTS and ROCKS Hashi, then runs, but Hashi gets under to FULL NELSON SUPLEX! Hashi keeps going, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO!! Hashi keeps on Yujiro with the full nelson, spin to pump handle, but Yujiro blocks the lift! Yujiro elbows but Hashi throws headbutts!

Hashi throws Yujiro into the corner, then runs in to clothesline! And NECKBREAKER! Hashi heads up top and fans fire up, for the SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!? Yujiro lives and Hashi can’t believe it! Hashi hurries onto Yujiro with the BUTTERFLY LOCK! Yujiro endures, fans rally, Hashi pulls him from ropes and leans harder on the hold! Yujiro keeps fighting, moving around, but Hashi leans harder on the hold! Fans keep rallying as Hashi changes up his grip. Yujiro almost gets free but Hashi gator rolls him,, to the full nelson, pump-handle, KARMA!! Cover, Hashi wins!

Winner: YOSHI-HASHI, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

The Head Hunter managed to grind Yujiro down and finish him off! Will Hashi continue on and finally be at the top of NJPW?

 

2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: Toa Henare VS Jay White!

One way or another, Hiroshi Tanahashi waits in the second round! Will it be his new protégé, the Hammerhead, or the new thorn in his side that is the Switchblade that meets The Ace?

After White and Gedo Low Sweet, and White shows off the muscles, the bell rings. Henare does his Haka dance to fire up and egg White on, but White just applauds with the fans. White circles with Henare, but White stays by the ropes for defense. Henare has to stay back until White returns, and they tie up. Henare puts White on the ropes, Red Shoes calls for the break, and Henare lets off cleanly. White and Henare go again, tie up, and Henare puts White in a corner now. Red Shoes calls for the break but White turns it around! White lets off but stomps away on Henare! White throws forearms, stomps more, then lets off just a moment before giving another stomp.

White whips, Henare reverses but White slides out. Henare pursues, but White catches him with stomps on the return. White forearms and stomps Henare to a corner, whips him corner to corner, but then dodges the return to headlock. Henare powers out but White bails out again, mockingly applauding. Henare rushes the ropes but White wants Red Shoes to keep him back. Henare backs off, White gets on the apron and ducks the punch to hotshot Henare away! White hits a headlock takeover, and Gedo cheers. He’s the only one. White asks the fans why they don’t cheer, but fans rally up for Henare.

Henare fights up, White throws him back down with another takeover, and grinds Henare. Henare still fights up, blocks the takeover this time, and gets White up. White holds off the back suplex, Henare powers him away and White comes back with a forearm! Henare doesn’t budge, then he DECKS White with a forearm back! Fans fire up, Henare runs and runs White over! Henare stalks White to a corner, bumps him off buckles, then again, then CHOPS White! Gedo complains but Henare puts White in another corner to CHOP again! White is stinging as he sits down but Henare is on him with stomps!

Henare fires up, White bails out but Henare is after him and whips him into railing! And then into more railing! And then back the other way into railing! Fans fire up with Henare while Gedo protests. Henare drags White up, puts him in the ring, and fans cheer as Henare glares at Gedo. Henare paces, drags White up, and headbutts him. Henare scoops and SLAMS White, then strikes a pose before he runs, for a LEAPING AX HANDLE DROP! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Henare stalks White and drags him from the apron. White kicks Henare away, then catches Henare to EXPLODER him out of the ring! Henare hits hard and Red Shoes checks on him, but he’s okay to continue.

Fans rally up and Henare rises. White goes out to fetch him, drags him up and RAMS him into the apron! And then RAMS him into railing! And then the apron, then back into railing! Jado is on commentary and likes what he sees as White drags Henare back and throws him into the apron. Henare falls over in a slump as Jado says “Bravo!” White refreshes the ring count then puts Henare back in. Cover, but Red Shoes refuses to count because of the antics outside. White stomps Henare, covers, ONE!! White is a bit stunned by that but he drags Henare up to scoop and SLAM him! Cover, TWO! White grows annoyed with Henare and he jams knees into Henare over and over!

White gets a leg and turns Henare for a HALF CRAB! White flexes for a moment while he digs his knee in. Gedo taunts Henare but Henare reaches out to get the ropebreak! Red Shoes counts, White holds on until 3. Henare gets to a corner, White stalks over and drags him up to put into the corner. White RAMS his forearm into Henare over and over, then brings him around to snapmare. White digs his knee into Henare while pulling on the chinlock. Henare endures, fans rally up and Henare throws body shots. White throws Henare by his hair! White mocks the clapping for “HE-NA-RE!” then kicks Henare to ropes.

White drags Henare up, stomps him, mocks the clapping more, but Henare blocks the whip! White ROCKS Henare with forearms, whips but Henare blocks again! White KNEES Henare low, and again, then whips him corner to corner. Henare reverses and White hits the corner hard! White is in a daze as he rolls but Henare is after him with forearms! Henare CHOPS White against ropes, whips him to ropes but Henare comes back with a FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE! Henare drags White back up, reels him in and suplexes. White tries to fight free of the stall but Henare keeps him up! Henare powers through White’s attempts to then SLAM White down! Cover, TWO!

Henare fires up and fans rally with him. Henare storms in but White boots him away! White boots again, but Henare comes back, into more boots! White runs but into a DOUBLE CHOP! Henare whips, White reverses but Henare reverses back to fireman’s carry. White slips free, spins Henare and SPIKE DDT’s! Gedo cheers White but fans rally for Henare. Henare is in a corner, White runs in and uppercuts! White brings Henare around but Henare blocks the suplex to suplex! White slips out, kicks low, and CORNER HALF HATCHES! White drags Henare right up to BLADE BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Henare survives and Gedo is mad but White keeps his cool.

White stands on Henare’s neck and flexes but Henare pushes him away. White mocks the clapping as he stands on Henare’s face. White drags Henare up, reels him in, but Henare blocks the urenage. White throws knees but still Henare blocks the urenage. White throws even more knees, then kicks Henare in the face! White stomps Henare, drags him up for forearms, but Henare fires up! White throws even more forearms but Henare DECKS him with one! Fans fire up as both men go down again! Henare runs, but White blocks the lariat, and catches Henare for a COMPLETE SHOT! And then a DEAD LIFT GERMAN!

Gedo goes nuts and White double guns, and then White brags to the Young Lions, “Am I good or what?” White slaps Henare around as fans rally, and White stand Henare up to slap him. Henare swings, but into the URENAGE! White double guns again, pushes Henare out of the ring, and says, “He shouldn’t be in here with me!” White wants the ring count to end this, so Red Shoes starts a count. Fans rally as Henare stirs, and Henare rises at 7 of 20. Henare crawls to the ring, gets up and in at 12. White stomps Henare, scrapes him back out, and wants the ring count again. The count restarts, Henare growls as he rises again, and he’s in at 8 this time!

White stomps Henare, kicks him back out, and again the ring count begins. Henare refuses to stay down, and is in at 4! White goes out to drag Henare out and whips him into railing! And then again! White puts Henare back in, asks Gedo what to do, and Gedo says Kiwi. White drags Henare up, fisherman to the KIWI KRUSHER!! Cover, TWO!! Henare survives and shocks White! White sits Henare up to wrap on a sleeper, but Henare fights it and gets to a corner. White RAMS into Henare’s back over and over, then brings him into a SAIDO! Henare flops across the ring and White grins as he heads over.

White brings Henare up, hoists him up top, throws forearms, then climbs up to join him. Henare blocks the suplex so White goes to the very top. Henare still resists, throws body shots, then forearms White down! Henare adjusts but White throws forearms back! White climbs, throws more forearms, but Henare HEADBUTTS him down! Henare adjusts again, fans fire up, and Henare leaps for a DIVING SHOULDER!! Gedo freaks out as White flounders up in the corner. Henare runs in and clotheslines, then fireman’s carries, for the RUNNING SAMOAN DROP! Fans fire up with Henare as he runs at White, to LARIAT! Cover, TWO!!

White survives and Henare is surprised, but he brings White back up. White fights off Henare’s clinch with elbows, but Henare still powers up! White elbows free, gets around, throws fast hands, but Henare blocks to Tomahawk elbow over and over, to then BACK ELBOW! Fans fire up while White flounders. Henare runs, White ducks the clothesline, but Henare comes back to SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!?! White survives and Henare can’t believe it! Henare aims from a corner as White slowly rises. Gedo shouts at White, and White drops before Henare can run in. Henare drags White up, White reels Henare in, but Henare powers out of Blade Runner to TOA BOMB!! Cover, TWO!!

White survives again and Henare can’t believe it! Fans rally up as Henare fires up, “AOH! AOH!” Henare aims from a corner, but White grabs at Red Shoes while Gedo has his brass knuckles! Gedo swings but Henare blocks to CLOBBER him instead! White gets Henare, Henare slips out and shoves, but White dodges! Henare comes back with the RAMPAGE!! Cover, TWO?!?! White survives but Henare is fired up! Fans rally hard as ever as Henare drags White up. Henare fisherman lifts, but White fights that off, only for Henare to HEADBUTT! Henare says he’ll end it, and he gets White up, but White slips out to SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX!! Both men are down but fans rally again.

White finds Henare and heads over. White drags Henare up, reels him in, but Henare fights off the Triple S! White comes back, gets around, TRIPLE S!! And then a lift to the BLADE RUNNER!! Cover, White wins!

Winner: Jay White, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

The Switchblade wins, and then demands Henare be removed from “his” ring! White gets a mic and tells the “Young Boys” to get him ice. Stop wasting it on the loser, give it to him! If they don’t, he’s coming out after them. White tells “Gabe” to give ice to his senpai. Gabriel Kidd does as told, and White shouts, “How about Henare, huh?” No, no, don’t clap for Henare. Clap for the winner, Jay White! Hear that, Henare? White doesn’t care about Henare, get him out of here! White said Henare’s moment would come and go, and there it was. Henare takes his leave from ringside, and White says Henare doesn’t matter any more than the Young Lions! White matters! This is the New Jay-pan Cup!

And he says he is coming for Kota Ibushi! Ibushi is trying to erase WHITE from NJPW’s history! White won’t let that happen. But he’s up against Hiroshi Tanahashi next? Wow, he got a bye, huh? Well if there’s anyone who needed it, it’s Tanahashi. Tanahashi can have all the time he wants but it won’t matter against White! White tells “Tana” that he’ll do him a favor. When White wins the Cup and takes those belts, or perhaps singular belt, off Ibushi, he’ll split them back apart into the Heavyweight and Intercontinental Championships. White will cement his legacy in NJPW.

So then, White knows that Tanahashi won’t win, and certainly wouldn’t win the Cup anyway. So Tanahashi should just lie down, White covers, they both go home unscathed so that White can keep everyone’s names protected from that “psychopath.” But until then, Kyoto~! Henare, Gabe, Yuya, Tsuji, Tana and everyone else in this tournament, you are looking at the REAL winner! And you will Breathe with the Switchblade, and the RRRRREEEAL Era!! White drops the mic and waits for Jado to join him and Gedo in the Low Sweet. Bullet Club is moving on, and White may pretend he’s being noble by preserving the traditional titles and their lineage, but will the Ace make sure White is nowhere near the top title(s) in NJPW?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good event, but I clearly skipped the first half. Evil got the win for Bullet Club, Jeff Cobb got the win for the United Empire, as they have been all week because of their coming match-up, so what was there to really see? But in another Chaos VS LIJ 8 Man Tag, it was very clever for Bushi to get the win off Sho, and with a La Magistrol, not a finisher. This keeps things even between Goto and Takagi going into the second round of match-ups, and perhaps can feed into the Junior Heavyweight Championship race. Finlay VS Chase was a good match, and it was very interesting that another quick pin was the finish, not a finisher. Maybe Finlay VS Chase for the apparent Texas Heavyweight Championship happens after Finlay is out of the tournament, and that has a definitive finish.

Hashi VS Yujiro certainly looks on paper like Chaos’ bottom tier VS Bullet Club’s bottom tier. But the match itself was good, and Hashi winning is very interesting. NJPW seems to be finally giving him some shine, but we know he won’t get to the semifinals. He might beat Finlay so that we can get the Texas Heavyweight title match sooner, but Hashi won’t beat The Ace or Jay White. White VS Henare was a really good match but of course White won. It was clear we weren’t going to get HenarACE facing themselves, so White VS Tanahashi was a given. That will be a really good match and could go either way.

I also liked White’s promo. He’s claiming the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship somehow erases the lineages of the separate titles, instead of unifying them a la WWE combining WWE Championship and #BigGold into the current WWE World Championship. I haven’t kept up with NJPW’s statements on said IWGP World Heavyweight title, but I would think they could easily just say, “No, the lineages continue in this title.” But it makes for an interesting point, and could be motivation for White to make it to the finals.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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