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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/29/21)

This is Raw’s brutality!

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Coverage Raw 2021

One Raw champion puts out a hit, another signs a contract!

Tonight, the Raw Women’s Champion, Asuka, and Nightmare, Rhea Ripley, sign a contract to make their WrestleMania match official!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Sheamus VS Matt Riddle; Sheamus wins.
  • Braun Strowman VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias & Shane McMahon; Braun wins.
  • Shelton Benjamin w/ Cedric Alexander VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP; Lashley wins.
  • AJ Styles w/ Omos VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston; Woods wins, by disqualification.
  • Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax & Reginald VS Naomi w/ Lana; Naomi wins.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Ricochet; McIntyre wins.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Mustafa Ali; McIntyre wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.

He surely knows the deal Bobby Lashley has offered the rest of the Raw roster. Yes, there’s a target on his back, and whoever can take McIntyre out before Mania, they get his spot against Lashley. So what will happen? Attacked by one person, two or three? But think before you jump him: One, is Lashley good for his offer? Two, you better be ready for an old fashion Scottish ass kicking if you try. Has McIntyre just put Lashley’s bounty hunters on notice?

 

Bobby Lashley and the Hurt Business head to the ring!

The All Mighty WWE World Champion has MVP, Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin following behind. They stand together, mics in hand as MVP says this is an official announcement from the Hurt Business. “We are less than two weeks away from WrestleMania! A spectacular two-night event where the All Mighty WWE Champion, Bobby Lashley, will walk in and out as the champion.” Lashley is currently set to face McIntyre, but allow them to make crystal clear their business proposition: If anyone takes out McIntyre before Mania, they will be rewarded a title match at Mania against Lashley.

Don’t mistake Lashley’s generosity as weakness. They just felt that McIntyre has had his opportunities. They’re trying to give someone else a chance to step up and become a star against the All Mighty! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, so who wants to step up and accept that offer? No one arrives, so MVP says here is who will not be sharing the ring with Lashley. Footage of last week’s 2v1 Handicap replays, where McIntyre defeated Alexander and Benjamin to officially ban them from ringside for Mania! Alexander and Benjamin didn’t think MVP would play that but Lashley says they had the perfect opportunity against McIntyre and couldn’t get the job done!

Don’t even get Lashley started on the Raw Tag Team Championships. They’re tarnishing Lashley’s image, which is why they stepped outside “the family.” Lashley can’t count on them for anything! Lashley worked too long and too hard to get this title, and refuses to associate himself with incompetence! MVP agrees. 2v1 Handicap against McIntyre and they failed miserably. But here’s an opportunity to speak up. Alexander asks what this is about. They could’ve done this privately and yet- Benjamin interrupts and asks if is this just to embarrass them? Lashley wouldn’t be champion without them! They toed the line, had his back, and won’t let MVP talk to him like a child.

Benjamin shoves MVP, Lashley DECKS Alexander but Benjamin THROWS Lashley!! Lashley throws his jacket off and glares at Benjamin. They throw hands, Benjamin rakes eyes but Lashley throws knees! Lashley hits a COMPLETE SHOT! Alexander gets up on the apron but gets backed down by Lashley’s glare! Lashley throws Benjamin out and then picks up his belt. MVP says they should be ashamed. Lashley tells Alexander and Benjamin that as far as they’re concerned, the Hurt Business is OVER! But the hit is still out for McIntyre, and the bounty is still up for grabs! Who will pounce on this chance and look to replace the Scottish Warrior?

 

Backstage interview with Matt Riddle.

He faces Sheamus tonight for what happened last week, but why does Riddle think Sheamus hit him with the scooter? Riddle wanted to ask questions and maybe Sheamus was having a bad day or just doesn’t have a soul. But Sheamus upset Riddle and Riddle doesn’t like being upset. It’s like having these sweet, tasty Doritos that you’ve been wanting to have all day, and before you even take a bite, BOOM! They hit the floor. Riddle then spots Titus O’Neil and scooters on over to say hey! Riddle wants to ask a question: What if you roasted a pig in the center of the ring at WrestleMania? What? Is Riddle okay? What’s he talking about?

Isn’t Titus part of the WrestleMania roast? No, no, Titus is a WrestleMania co-host, with Hulk Hogan. OH… The co-host of the roast! Bring ice cream. No, that tears Titus’ stomach up. Okay what about Mac ‘n’ Cheese? Or shrimp? Titus heads off, and Sheamus CLOBBERS Riddle!! The Fella mockingly tells the Bro, “see you out there.” Will Riddle now get payback for two cheap shots tonight?

 

Alexander and Benjamin complain to Adam Pearce.

That ingrate, Lashley, threw these two away like nothing! But Lashley wouldn’t be champion without them! He’s nothing without all of them! Benjamin will take Lashley on tonight, and if there’s something left, give him to Alexander next week! Are they sure about that? Why is he asking stupid questions? Is he protecting Lashley the same way he was protecting McIntyre? Does he have to consult with Lashley the same way he does with Roman? Does he make matches or not?! Where is Pearce’s sack?! Make a match! Alexander and Benjamin storm off, will Scrap Daddy be pressured into another high stakes decision?

 

Samoa Joe is away but MVP is on commentary for tonight!

He says that if Benjamin and Alexander showed the aggression and initiative they’ve showed tonight against McIntyre, they wouldn’t be in this situation.

 

Sheamus VS Matt Riddle!

The Celtic Warrior already didn’t like The Bro before, but after the frustrating losses, Riddle is getting on Sheamus’ last nerve. Will Sheamus make sure to put the Bro in Brogue, or rather the other way around?

The bell rings and Sheamus goes right at Riddle in a corner! The ref counts, Sheamus headlocks but Riddle gets to a waistlock. Riddle puts Sheamus in a corner, Sheamus powers out and gets Riddle down to a cover, ONE. Riddle waistlocks, Sheamus fights up and throws Riddle down to get a chinlock. Riddle fights up, goes for a Triangle but Sheamus makes it a cover, TWO! Sheamus CLUBS Riddle, puts him in a corner and throws hard body shots, then stomps Riddle down. Sheamus throws Riddle with a headlock takeover, Riddle fights but Sheamus digs his fingers into Riddle’s face. Fans rally, Riddle fights up, and Riddle throws body shots.

Riddle powers out but Sheamus runs him over! Sheamus goes to run but Riddle anchors a foot. Sheamus stomps Riddle, runs but into a leap! Riddle gets around to a sleeper and body scissors! Sheamus rolls but he can’t throw Riddle off! Riddle squeezes tight, Sheamus fights up, and Sheamus puts Riddle in a corner. The ref counts for them to break, Sheamus gets a string of back elbows in! The ref backs Sheamus off, but Sheamus drags Riddle up to CLOBBER him! Sheamus stomps Riddle, stands him up, and CLUBS him back down. Sheamus CLUBS riddle again, Riddle hits back! They brawl back and forth, Sheamus ROCKS Riddle then whips him. Riddle kicks back! And kicks again!

Riddle hits a KNEE! Sheamus is in ropes, Riddle dropkicks him out to the floor! Riddle keeps moving, goes up and out and PENALTY KICKS from the apron! Then he SPRINGBOARD FLOATING BROS! Both men are down on the outside as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Sheamus has Riddle down with fish hooks in the mouth! Sheamus lets off and stomps Riddle down. Sheamus brings Riddle up to throw haymakers but Riddle gives them back! They brawl again, Riddle gets the edge with forearms and palm strikes! Riddle runs but Sheamus scoops for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Sheamus is annoyed but he CLUBS Riddle back down! Sheamus drags Riddle up, reels him in to CLUB him in the back, then CLUB him down again! “You’re a disgrace to that title! You hear me?!” Sheamus fireman’s carries Riddle to the ropes but Riddle counters to a gut wrench! Sheamus fights the bomb off, turns around, and boots Riddle away!

Sheamus adjusts, Riddle comes back with a forearm and a CHOP! Riddle climbs up, brings Sheamus up, but Sheamus hits back and shoves him down! But Riddle is right back up! SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Both men are down and MVP says that’s one of those moves where you can’t be sure who got the worst of it. Riddle and Sheamus slowly sit up, Sheamus stands first but Riddle eggs him on. Riddle fires off more fast hands, boots then spins Sheamus for the PELE! Sheamus staggers to a corner. Riddle kips up and runs in to forearm smash! Then side to side for another! BROSPLODER! Riddle aims and fires off Bro Kicks!

The ref has Riddle let off at the ropes, but Sheamus catches Riddle to Alabama lift! Riddle sunset flips, Sheamus rolls through, PENALTY KICK and BROTON! Cover, TWO!! TRIANGLE HOLD! Sheamus flails, make sit a cover, TWO, to a dead lift POWERBOMB! But Riddle still has the Triangle Hold! Sheamus reaches, drags himself over, ROPEBREAK! Riddle lets go at 4, heads over but Sheamus ROCKS him! Riddle kicks but Sheamus catches it to drag him up and over, APRON WHITE NOISE!! Cover, TWO!??! Sheamus can’t believe Riddle survived! Sheamus hurries to Alabama lift and ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, TWO?!!? Riddle is still in this and Sheamus is stunned!

Sheamus gets up, aims from a corner, pounds his chest but Riddle hits a FINAL FLASH! Inside cradle, TWO!! Sheamus blocks Riddle’s knee to KNEE him back! Cover, Sheamus wins!!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall

The Fella just pinned the United States Champion! He gloats but Riddle dumps him out! Riddle is still furious, and vows Sheamus will get what’s coming to him! Will Riddle be watching for Sheamus after all the sucker punches and cheap shots?

 

Shane McMahon walks with Elias and Jaxson Ryker backstage.

Kevin Patrick comes by to ask Shane what he plans to reveal in his “exposé” of Braun Strowman tonight. No, but he appreciates Kevin being a good reporter. Know that we’re going to learn some very interesting things about Braun. Enlightening, even. Shane O’Mac, The Drifter and the follower head to the ring to reveal those very things!

 

Drew McIntyre encounters AJ Styles and Omos.

There’s not a chance he’s turning his back on these two. Lashley’s offer is not one they can refuse. Wow, Lashley’s gotten into McIntyre’s head. Unlike McIntyre, these two have bigger plans for Mania. They’re a lot more realistic. Styles would love to see Omos smack McIntyre off the ground, but these two will embarrass the New Day and become the NEW Raw, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~! Plus, Styles has to be ready for his match with Xavier Woods. But surely their paths will cross again. Fine. McIntyre shouts to the shadows to dare anyone to take Lashley up on that offer! Will there be any takers?

 

Shane, Elias and Ryker are in the ring.

Though he’ll face the Monster Among Men on Night One of WrestleMania, Shane is here to address the elephant in the room, and he doesn’t mean Braun. No, he means the accusations that given his amazing athletics last week, his leg injury was a lie. Now those who think that don’t know anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, or adrenaline. Adrenaline was what gave him the pain relief that helped him get away and not be further injured. Shane is now 100% and will defeat Braun in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania.

Now, Shane has been doing some homework, and something he’s discovered is something that goes way back. One thing was very interesting and it gave him insight into “young B-B-B-Braun.” Going back to Braun’s Fifth Grade report card, he got STRAIGHT D’S! From Social Studies to Math to English and even GYM! Though maybe that’s a bit harsh. The letter grade is one thing, but these teacher comments are another. Braun is disruptive, instigating fights, aka a bully. He has a lack of basic problem solving skills and looked to be held back. He fell behind his classmates and needed summer school. Doesn’t seem like Braun’s improved over any of these.

In summation, a picture is worth a thousand words. Therefore, the last image is Braun in a dunce cap, and “2+2 = 5 I’M NOT STUPID!”  Elias starts to feel bad for Braun. Ryker get sit, though. It is cliché, but true: big guy, tiny brain. Shane knows he will outwit Braun, as will Ryker here tonight. But at the end, maybe what Braun needs is a “big ol’ warm hug from all of us.” They will give it to B-B-B-Braun. But BRAAAUN~ makes his entrance and Shane looks worried, because there’s a good chance someone’s gonna #GetTheseHands!

Braun Strowman VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias & Shane McMahon!

Raw returns, the bell rings and Braun shoves Ryker down, drags him up then TOSSES him across the way! And TOSSES him again! Braun goes out and starts the Strowman Express! Shane runs away, Braun goes into the ring, and he choke grips Ryker to power him to a corner! Braun fires off heavy hands, big elbows, and brings Ryker up to HEADBUTT him down! Elias distracts Braun, then Shane distracts the ref! Braun runs them both off but Ryker attacks! Ryker fires off hands, Braun puts him in a corner but Ryker boots back! Ryker runs and chop blocks a leg out! Ryker keeps going, BULLDOG!

Ryker fires up, goes up the corner and wants Braun to stand! Ryker leaps, ax handles Braun, but Braun comes back to BOOT him down! Ryker bails out, Braun goes out, and the Strowman Express starts down the track to CLOBBER Ryker! Braun puts Ryker in, storms after him and runs in to SPLASH! Braun shouts, “This is your fate, Shane! You made this bed, and you’re gonna lay in it at WrestleMania!” Scoop and MONSTER SLAM!! Cover, Braun wins!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by pinfall

And the chase is on again! Shane runs away, Elias hurries after Braun and KNEES Him down! Elias and Shane attack 2v1, stomping and dropping knees! Braun EXPLODES out! Shane runs away, but Braun gets a mic! “Where’re you running off to, Shane? You think I forgot? You accepted my challenge for a match at WrestleMania. Maybe you forgot you told me I could pick any match that I wanted.”

And Braun’s been thinking and has made up his mind. They’re going to have a match where the goons can’t get involved in, and where they’ll end these weeks and weeks of Shane running for his life! “There’s nowhere to run, there’s nowhere to hide. At WrestleMania, you’re gonna Get These Hands in a STEEL CAGE MATCH!” Shane’s bullying has finally come back to haunt him! Will Shane survive being inside the steel with the Monster?

 

Raw presents an all new Dirt Sheet!

The Miz and John Morrison are already in the ring, dressed for the red carpet that isn’t there, and give their introductions. If you’re wondering why Morrison’s hair is so high, it’s because it’s full of secrets. But it’s no secret that The Miz is the Most Must-See WWE Superstar. Tonight might be the most anticipated episode of the Dirt Sheet ever as #JohnnyDripDrip and MC M I Z have the world premiere of “Hey Hey, Hop Hop,” the hottest beat to drop since Despacito and Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems! Just call him Notorious M I Z. Is that the VMA’s calling?

“Hey, John, do you know who was nominated for a VMA last year?” “Bad Bunny.” “Correct. And do you know who didn’t win a VMA last year?” “Bad Bunny.” “Correct!” He won a Grammy, though. That’s not how this gag works. It goes, “Hey, John. Do you know who is going to lose to me at WrestleMania?” “Bad Bunny.” COOOOOORRECT. And speaking of, Miz will address last week. He thought he made it absolutely clear that Bunny doesn’t belong here when he smacked him with a guitar. Miz thought he solidified his stance when he challenged Bunny to this Mania match. But then Bunny accepts? And then has the cajones to return the favor and hit MIZ in the back?!

Miz gets it, it’s tit for tat, but Miz was trying to teach Bunny a lesson while Bunny was trying to hurt Miz! He’s got some bold cotton balls. This is far from over! Miz promises to pay back Bunny at Mania for every ounce of ridicule, every shred of disrespect and every splinter of wood that was in his back. Didn’t Bunny also call Miz- Yes, but let’s focus on the positives! Such as Miz being the only TWO-TIME Grand Slam Champion in the WWE, and will still be the backbone of the WWE after Bunny’s 15 minutes of fame are over. Plus, they shot an absolutely awesome music video! They took a few days in San Juan, Puerto Rico, put the hop back in hip hop, and celebrated with Pina Coladas.

So without a moment further, here is the WORLD PREMIERE of Hey Hey, Hop Hop! Miz and Morrison start the video with the introduction they just gave, and away they go. Stock footage of fans, photoshopping themselves onto Madison Square Garden and Tokyo Square, and wearing bunny suits. Johnny Drip Drip and MC M I Z have sweet rhymes and nasty lucha. They also add in Miz hitting Bunny with the guitar several times. Miz and Morrison dance along with themselves in the present. They and the fake fans in the video are the only ones cheering. Miz gets emotional as he practices his acceptance speech for the Grammy’s.

But here come Bad Bunny and Damian Priest to respond! Congrats! They actually enjoyed that. It was really… How to say it? Entertaining? Sure. But Priest is glad Miz found time to relax and goof off. Because he won’t be laughing when Bunny handles him at Mania. Bunny won’t say anything else but that at Mania, Bunny says it in Spanish and Miz demands to know what it means in English. He’s going to make Miz his bitch!! Miz and Morrison storm out, but Priest is in the way. Feeling real bad behind your boy, huh, Bunny? Priest moves aside and Bunny ROCKS Miz with a right haymaker!

Priest and Bunny get in the ring and dare Miz to bring it! Morrison keeps Miz back, but Bunny throws the Dirt Sheet set out! Priest and Bunny dare the would-be rappers to bring it, then they take the poster for the music video and bend it up! Morrison says Bunny just signed his death warrant! Will Miz make this the Most Must-See crossover of all time?

 

Randy Orton speaks.

“I have been privileged throughout the course of my career to go toe-to-toe with some of the greatest talent that this industry has ever offered. Legends like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, legends like Shawn Michaels and Triple H, legends like The Undertaker, Kane, John Cena, it’s a very long list.” But none of those men compares to The Fiend. Just a few months ago, Orton did what he had to do to get rid of The Fiend once and for all. he chose to light the match, drop the match and watch the Fiend BURN! “No man could have survived that. But that’s the thing now, isn’t it?” Orton didn’t realize that The Fiend isn’t a man, but much, much more! The Fiend is sick and twisted, sadistic, and an abomination from HELL!

Orton thought Alexa Bliss’ premonition that The Fiend would return was an elaborate game. But the “match” at Fastlane wasn’t that at all! It was a trap! The entire time,. Alexa knew that she had The Fiend’s heartbeat in the palm of her hand and could bring him back. At least now, thank you, God, that Orton knows what he’s dealing with! So for the final time, at WrestleMania, Orton isn’t facing a man but a “sick and twisted, sadistic abomination!” Lucky for Orton, “we were both cut from the same cloth.” That means Orton will do what he has to do and knows how far as he must go to get The Fiend out of his life once and for all!

 

Shelton Benjamin w/ Cedric Alexander VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP!

Adam Pearce made a match, and he is giving the Gold Standard his chance to show the Rocky Mountain Machine what he’s made of! Will Benjamin tear down the All Mighty World Champion and let Alexander handle the scraps next week? Or will Lashley simply steamroll one before he bulldozes the other?

Raw returns, the bell rings, and Benjamin fires off on Lashley with haymakers! Benjamin knees low, clubs Lashley, but Lashley shoves him away. Lashley scoops Benjamin but Benjamin slips off to waistlock. Lashley elbows free, Benjamin gets around and SLAMS Lashley down. Benjamin grinds Lashley but Lashley fights up. Benjamin throws Lashley down again, Alexander coaches him and Benjamin throws knees in! Benjamin clamps onto Lashley, waistlocks again, but Lashley pries free. Benjamin clubs Lashley, runs but Lashley follows to get Benjamin for the COMPLETE SHOT! Lashley rains down fists, paces, and drags Benjamin up to throw out of the ring.

Lashley paces, Alexander coaches Benjamin but Lashley goes out to get Benjamin. Lashley fireman’s carries Benjamin to POST him! Benjamin writhes, Alexander is furious but Lashley glares at them both. Lashley drags Benjamin up to throw him in and stalks him. Lashley runs corner to corner to RAM into Benjamin! Alexander swipes at Lashley, Lashley gives chase! Alexander goes up the ramp and MVP says that’s pretty funny given Alexander wanted a piece of Lashley. The ring count is past 5 of 10, Lashley returns but runs into PAYDIRT!! Cover, TWO!! Lashley survives and MVP says Alexander has only angered Lashley.

Lashley gets up, throws haymakers but Benjamin gives them back. Benjamin rams Lashley into the corner, fires off hands, then runs in to KNEE Lashley! Benjamin fire sup, runs corner to corner, and KNEES Lashley again! But Lashley hits an ALL MIGHTY SPINEBUSTER! Lashley drags Benjamin up to rain down more fists, then whips him for another ALL MIGHTY SPINEBUSTER! Lashley watches Benjamin slowly get up, and puts on the HURT LOCKER!! Benjamin is a rag doll, Lashley wins!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission

The Rocky Mountain Machine has a head of steam going towards WrestleMania Weekend! Will PRIMED Alexander only get the same next week? Or will he reconsider and withdraw his request?

 

AJ Styles and Omos encounter The New Day backstage.

Styles asks what this is all about. This is for the game they’re going to play tonight! Some icebreaker things to see if Styles and Omos are meshing as a team. No, Styles and Woods are going to fight. Is he scared? Is he chicken? BAWK BAWK! NO HE’S NOT! Let’s play your games! Styles and Omos will beat them at these games, then beat them in the ring! Yeah no. But first, game night! Let the games begin, BABYYYY~! Cards, charades, all sorts of stuff! Styles says that’s fine. He and Omos can make the New Day look even more ridiculous! But will game night be less than phenomenal for the challengers?

 

WrestleMania has MORE matches!

For Night One, Braun VS Shane is now officially a Steel Cage Match! And then on Night Two, Sheamus gets another match with Matt Riddle, for the WWE United States Championship!

 

The New Day present game night!

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the NEW~ DAY~ Game~ NIIIGHT~!” This is where team skills will be put to the test against some friends! Woods introduces the Phenomenal AJ Styles, “and his extremely large counterpart,” Omos! Boooo~! Boo. Styles and Omos make their way to the ring, Woods apologizes but says he loves the mauve shirt on Omos. Kofi wants Styles to calm down and says that we’re on the way to WrestleMania, so it is important for a tag team to be on the same page, a well-oiled machine. There is a line-up of games ready to prove who (who who who) is the better team.

Playing games is going to prove who is the better team? Well, Styles & Omos are already the better team in the ring, so they’ll play along. First up is charades! You get a clue, act it out silently, and hopefully your partner gets it. Kofi goes first and the New Day has 15 seconds. BEGIN! Kofi’s clue: A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton. The piano fingers and distance hands work out. Styles can’t believe it! Well Woods loves that song! Styles takes his turn, 15 seconds and… GO! Styles’ clue: The Lion King. He does cat paws and a crown, then waving. Omos isn’t sure. Time’s up! Lion King, man! Crown, cat! But he didn’t get it~!

That moves to round two! Pick another clue and use it for Pictionary! Woods will draw on the paper, Kofi will guess. Woods’ clue: Rocket Ship. He draws a box, triangle, circle, and a moon. ROCKET SHIP!! WOOOO~! Styles volunteers to draw, even though it’s Omos’ turn. But Omos just stays put so Styles goes again. Styles’ clue: The Sun. He draws a circle with lines, and Omos is still confused. It’s the sun! Is Omos not trying? Well it’s a clean SWEEP~! Get the brooms! Omos shouts, “ENOUGH!” He isn’t here for games! To be champions, all they have to do is win at WrestleMania! Omos will show them BOTH what he is capable! And Styles will show Woods what he’s capable of right now!

Woods says HE will show STYLES what he is capable of! But thank you for watching the first-ever New Day Game Night! Styles throws things around in a fit, but he’ll be looking to throw hands with Woods after the break!

AJ Styles w/ Omos VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston!

Raw returns and the bell rings. Woods and Styles circle, tie up, and Woods wrenches to a wristlock but Styles ROCKS him with a right. Things speed up. Styles hurdles then drops to dropkick Woods down! Styles taunts Kofi, drags Woods up and whips him to ropes. Woods ducks, dodges and slides to ROLLING ELBOW! Omos is annoyed as Woods throws EuroUppers on Styles. Woods bumps Styles off buckles, CHOPS him, then has him in another corner for a bump and CHOP! Kofi has his play by play but Styles blocks the bump to bump Woods! Styles whips, Woods reverses but Styles reverses back! Styles runs in but misses and hits buckles! Woods CHOPS Styles off his feet! Cover, ONE!

Woods drags Styles up but Styles knees low. Styles whips, Woods reverses and sends Styles out! Woods DECKS Styles off the apron, Woods builds speed, but Omos stands in the way! Styles gets away and back in the ring to turn Woods around! Woods blocks to dropkick Styles out the other way! Woods builds speed to FLY and take Styles out at the ramp! Kofi and the fans are fired up while Woods slides in to mockingly wave at Omos, and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns as Woods throws haymakers on Styles. Woods whips, Styles reverses but Woods comes back with a leaping forearm! Woods rallies on Styles, ducks a clothesline to LEG LARIAT! Woods fires up, brings Styles around but Styles reverses to back suplex. Woods lands on his feet and pops Styles up for a back drop! Cover, TWO! Woods keeps his cool as he drags Styles up and pushes him into the corner. Woods hoists Styles up top, throws hands, then climbs up to join him. Woods clubs Styles, brings him up, but Styles slips under to trip Woods up! Styles fireman’s carries to an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Kofi coaches Woods but Styles is furious!

Styles drags Woods up, reels him in, and calls his shot! Woods RAMS Styles into the corner, reels him in, and hits a TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Woods kicks Styles, drags him to a drop zone and goes to a corner. Woods climbs slowly, Omos drags Styles out of the ring to safety! Woods sees that, runs over but Omos blocks the kick to TOSS Woods into the ring!

Winner: Xavier Woods, by disqualification

Kofi leaps at Omos but Omos catches him! And military presses Kofi to TOSS him over the barrier!! Just like when he tossed Woods with that choke slam! Styles drags Woods up, bumps him off buckles and fires off hands! Omos runs in to back elbow Woods HARD! Styles says he and Omos will be champion, and they’ll “get it done!” Styles feeds Woods to Omos’ POP-UP SPINEBUSTER!! The gigantic Omos stands on Woods’ chest, and Styles “counts the pin.” Will we see this happen at WrestleMania in Omos’ massive debut match?

 

Raw returns to Alexa’s Playground.

She hums Pop Goes the Weasel, then says, “Don’t you just love Jack-in-the-Boxes?” This may look and sound like a normal one, but she’ll let us in on a secret: “it’s so much more. Did you know, centuries ago, these used to be called Devil in the Box?” They had spells written all over and there were weakened spirits inside. That’s what happened at TLC to him. Randy Orton burned The Fiend alive, and then believed he was gone forever. But he was wrong. The Fiend was just weakened and trapped. Trapped inside the Fiend in a Box. “But you can’t trap evil forever. All he needed was time. And now he’s just salivating at the idea of standing across from Randy Orton at WrestleMania.”

Orton’s biggest mistake used to be playing with fire. But now, Orton’s mistake is thinking he understands what’s next. He doesn’t. But Alexa will give us Fireflies a teeny, tiny little hint. “At WrestleMania, the Legend Killer dies.” The camera backs up, and The Fiend has been sitting beside Alexa this whole time! Will the Fiend chase the Viper around until it’s POP goes Randy Orton?

 

McIntyre storms into the locker room!

He’s done waiting for someone to step up! He’ll get them to step up now! No one wants to? That’s disappointing. A few years ago, a young McIntyre would’ve gone after him the second he got here! Anyone gonna tweet and get trending? Is that how you guys get something going today? McIntyre tells Braun he should’ve been a five-time world champion by now! Why isn’t he?! Step the hell up! Braun says McIntyre doesn’t have to worry. After he tears Shane apart, and if McIntyre gets the title back, Braun will be first to come find him.

Anyone else then? WrestleMania is here, dammit! McIntyre wants Humberto Carrillo to step up and do something! Anyone! Riddle says he’s stuffed after fighting Sheamus. Those matches are like full Thanksgiving meals. But Angel Garza gives it a try! He clubs McIntyre but McIntyre ROCKS him then throws him into a couch! McIntyre asks if anyone is taking this serious! Drew Gulak thinks about it, and McIntyre says he’s seen the posts, begging for replies. GLASGOW KISS!! Ricochet is there, and McIntyre knows he wants his opportunity. Take it.

Ricochet says Lashley’s word doesn’t mean a thing to him. They’ve known each other a long time. If McIntyre wants a fight, then alright. McIntyre respects that. See you in the ring, Ricochet. Will the One and Only still prove himself, Lashley’s bounty or not?

 

Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax & Reginald VS Naomi w/ Lana!

With the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships without challengers for WrestleMania, the Queen of Spades takes on The Glow to see if she is worthy! Will Naomi take the fight to Shayna and earn a golden ticket for her and Lana?

Raw returns, Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose have joined commentary as Naomi makes her entrance. The bell rings, Shayna and Naomi circle then tie up. Naomi waistlocks, Shayna backs her down but the ref counts. Shayna lets off but ROCKS Naomi with an elbow! Naomi boots but is blocked so she comes back with an enziguri! Naomi whips, Shayna reverses but Naomi goes up only for Shayna to KICK her arms out! Nia cheers Shayna as Shayna wrenches the arm to hammerlock and STOMP the arm! Dana feels Naomi’s pain as Shayna fires forearms on Naomi. Shayna wristlocks, keylocks and grinds Naomi down. Naomi endures, fights up, and throws body shots to then enziguri again!

Naomi PENALTY KICKS, then NECK SNAPPERS! Shayna staggers up into a BUBBA BOMB! Rolling clutch, TWO! Naomi bridges, TWO! KIRAFUDA KTLUCH! Naomi rolls to a cover, Shayna slips out to go for an arm but Naomi hits a leg split leg drop! Cover, TWO! Naomi goes up, Reggie distracts her! Lana runs in, Reggie handsprings away from her! Shayna has Naomi in the Tree of Woe but Naomi fights free while Nia glares at Lana. Lana goes to slap but gets scooped! Nia wants the table, Lana slips off and shoves Nia into Mandy! Dana goes after Lana for that! Reggie panics as Dana fireman’s carries Lana around.

Lana kicks Dana away, is on the apron, Shayna BOOTS her down! Naomi rolls Shayna, and WINS!!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall

The Ravishing Glow took advantage of the chaos and got the win! Will they be the ones heading for Mania to shine in the spotlight?

 

Asuka and Riddle cross paths.

Is everything okay, Bro? Yeah, he’s just a bit sore and beat up. But at least he gets to fight Sheamus at Mania! And he’s got his scooter back! Nice! She likes? Yeah! Do people in Japan like scooters? Oh, yeah, they’d love it. Riddle spaces out, apologizes, and heads off again. Will Riddle get his head right before facing the Fella again? And speaking of title matches, Asuka heads for gorilla, because she has a contract signing to get to!

 

Adam Pearce is in the ring.

He officially introduces the Raw Women’s Championship match contract signing, and first introduces the challenger, Rhea Ripley! This time last year, Rhea was showing up on Raw as NXT Women’s Champion and getting Charlotte Flair to challenge her. Now, she is the challenger stepping up against the Empress of Tomorrow! And now, the Empress herself, Asuka, makes her entrance! Both women take their seats at the table and Rhea likes to point out that Asuka is the current Raw Women’s Champion. Asuka laughs at Rhea’s little joke, because she IS the Raw Women’s Champion. “And you are overconfident.”

Rhea admits she is overconfident, but on her first night to Raw, she was confident enough to step to Asuka for a match. Now, she’s confident enough to tell Asuka that she will WIN at Mania and take the title! Rhea signs her part, pushes the contract to Asuka, and Asuka signs her part. And then in Japanese then English, Asuka tells Rhea that her confidence is borrowed, not earned. Rhea has talent, but she has to learn that she is NOT READ- Rhea DUMPS the table onto Asuka! But wait, why are Nia and Shayna returning?!

Rhea stands over Asuka, grabs a mic, and as Nia says, “I don’t know what’s worse: Rhea Ripley having the audacity to request a championship at WrestleMania, or Asuka for accepting her challenge.” Shayna says both are bad. But Rhea’s new, Asuka’s the one who should be ashamed. After everything Shayna’s down to Asuka, she should know better. Shayna and Nia have dominated the ENTIRE Women’s Division for an entire YEAR! Where is THEIR Mania match? Shayna showed she could kick Asuka’s teeth out. And as for Rhea, Shayna can’t wait to give her a hard dose of reality. Rhea asks what’s stopping them?

Well if the Empress of Yesterday can pull herself together, how about she and Rhea step into the ring with Nia & Shayna next week? Then Nia can show Rhea what *stomp* brutality really is. Rhea answers on behalf of Asuka that they ACCEPT! Asuka is shocked, but Rhea just wants to fight! Will Rhea regret getting ahead of herself? Or is she going to earn that confidence she has?

 

MVP finds Ricochet backstage.

After all this time, MVP is glad to see Ricochet is thinking like a businessman and take Lashley up on the offer. Ricochet explains to MVP this isn’t about Lashley’s offer. At the end of the day, Lashley AND MVP are both full of it. Tonight is for Ricochet. Ricochet doesn’t know when he’ll get another opportunity, but he will beat McIntyre because he knows he can! See you around. Will the One and Only still do the Hurt Business’ dirty work for them?

Drew McIntyre VS Ricochet!

The Scottish Stud goes to the ring first, still looking around to see if anyone else wants to cash in. Will he be able to focus on the King of Flight if his head’s on a swivel?

Raw returns and Ricochet makes his entrance. The bell rings and Ricochet fires off hands but McIntyre tosses Ricochet! Ricochet boots McIntyre, runs and ducks, but still gets LAUNCHED with a back drop! McIntyre looms over Ricochet, brings him up, and CHOPS him! McIntyre keeps Ricochet from falling over to then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Ricochet flops to the apron, McIntyre storms over and drags him back up. McIntyre ROCKS Ricochet with a right, Lashley watches backstage as McIntyre OVERHEAD- Wait, Ricochet lands on his feet! Ricochet dodges McIntyre, runs and tilt-o-whirls to headscissor McIntyre into buckles!

Ricochet fires off hands, then KNEES McIntyre down to a knee! Ricochet runs, goes up the corner, and leaps to ENZIGURI! Cover, ONE!?! McIntyre shocks Ricochet and shoves him away. Ricochet dumps McIntyre out, McIntyre gets to his feet and drags Ricochet out! McIntyre DECKS Ricochet, whips him but Ricochet goes up and up, to walk the barriers and come back with a DROPKICK! MVP actually cheers Ricochet on as he gets in the ring. McIntyre hurries in, Ricochet puts him in a drop zone. Ricochet hurries up top, but McIntyre avoids the 450! Ricochet rolls through and comes back, into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Scottish Warrior wasn’t taken out by Ricochet, and starts to dare anyone else to step up, and MUSTAFA ALI chop blocks from behind! Ali has no Retribution behind him but he stomps away on McIntyre! Ali fires off hands, the ref pulls him away but McIntyre throws Ali out! Ali flounders back up and McIntyre dares Ali to fight him! Will McIntyre have another match again?!

 

Drew McIntyre VS Mustafa Ali!

Raw returns, and he is! But it’s already underway and Ali SLAMS McIntyre’s leg against the post! And then dropkicks the leg into the post! Ali wants to do more damage but McIntyre kick shim away. McIntyre hobbles, Ali runs in and avoids the scoop to chop block again! Ali drops elbows on the leg, stomps it, then shouts, “This is what I deserve!” Ali KICKS McIntyre’s leg, Lashley is still watching, and McIntyre DECKS Ali. McIntyre gets in but Ali dropkicks the leg out! Lashley doesn’t look satisfied and he leaves. Ali is still after the leg, clubs McIntyre on the back and puts the leg in the ropes. Ali pulls but McIntyre CHOPS Ali away! McIntyre storms over but into another basement dropkick! Cover, ONE!!

Ali is still after the leg! McIntyre grabs for ropes, Ali holds on but McIntyre kicks him away. Ali skins the cat to get back up. Ali climbs to the top rope and SPLASHES the leg! McIntyre writhes, Ali covers, TWO!! Ali grows frustrated, and tells MVP he’s getting that opportunity! MVP loves the initiative. Ali throws haymakers on McIntyre and rains them down! Ali glares, runs, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre seethes and runs in to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly Ali again! McIntyre hobbles over, throws haymakers and CHOPS, then stomps Ali to bring him up, and OVERHEAD Belly2Belly again! McIntyre demands Ali stand, but Ali kicks the bad leg! Ali goes up and leaps, into a GLASGOW KISS!

McIntyre counts down from the corner, and CLAYMORES! Cover, McIntyre wins again!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

That’s two in a row in one night, but then he dares anyone else to step up!? How about Lashley?! McIntyre demands a mic, gets one, and shouts, “C’mon, Lashley. I know you’re back there watching. Everybody tried, and everybody got their ass kicked by Drew McIntyre!” Lashley needs to man up, get out and finish McIntyre himself! McIntyre demands Lashley grow balls and show up! Lashley makes his entrance, MVP says this isn’t good. Will we get WrestleMania a couple weeks early?! We find out after the break!

 

Raw returns as Lashley and McIntyre stare down.

McIntyre says, “I guess it makes sense why you came out here. I was so focused on the match, I never even noticed MVP behind me.” Lashley could send anyone, play whatever trick she wants, but he can’t prevent the inevitable. Lashley VS McIntyre for the WWE World Championship is happening at WrestleMania! Lashley says he never needed anyone’s help. Did McIntyre forget what Lashley did to him at Elimination Chamber? He almost ended McIntyre’s career! And in hindsight, Lashley should’ve. But Lashley promises that the mauling then will pale in comparison to what’s happening at Mania! McIntyre’s time is up! This is the ALL MIGHTY ERA!

Well, Lashley’s fired up. McIntyre likes that. But Lashley beat McIntyre at Chamber, that’s true. There’s no one as big, bad and dangerous as Lashley. If McIntyre didn’t exist, Lashley would be THE  man in the WWE. But going after McIntyre like this, it only proves he’s afraid of McIntyre! Lashley pushes McIntyre, they brawl, and Lashley tackles McIntyre! McIntyre kicks Lashley away, runs into a clinch and gets knees, but he fights free with elbows! GLASGOW KISS and a BOOT! Lashley falls out of the ring and McIntyre shouts, “Is that all you got? You better bring more than that at WrestleMania, you son of a bitch!”

But then KING CORBIN attacks from behind?! SmackDown’s Wolf King is here and he brawls with McIntyre! Back Suplex SLAM! And then another! Corbin drags McIntyre up, eggs him on, but McIntyre rams him to a corner, and OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes! McIntyre is furious, and he runs at Corbin, but into DEEP SIX! Corbin lets Lashley pick the bones and put on the HURT LOCK!! MVP says, “Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, the All Mighty WWE Champion.” This is a Mania preview! Lashley throws McIntyre down, Corbin tells him to do that again, so Lashley does!

McIntyre is a rag doll as Lashley leans on the hold! Lashley drops McIntyre, and MVP says, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Hurt Business.” Lashley makes McIntyre stare at the title belt. This is WAR! McIntyre crawls, but Lashley looms over him. Lashley hauls him back up and again puts on the HURT LOCK! McIntyre can only fade back out with Corbin shouting in his face, “How do YOU like it, Drew?!” The Rocky Mountain Machine finally lets McIntyre go, but will he be able to do this against McIntyre at Mania when it’s just 1v1?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode, but something just seemed to hold it back. The handling of Lashley putting the hit out on McIntyre was probably what didn’t blend well from last week to this week, especially with throwing the Hurt Business changing members. Benjamin and Alexander were let go and very upset about that, but wanting matches with Lashley seemed off. I was expecting Benjamin and Alexander would try to cash in on Lashley’s offer to the locker room and go after McIntyre first.

What was also off was McIntyre getting impatient about people going after him under Lashley’s offer. I know McIntyre’s return angle centered around wanting the superstars to step up and be sharks, but why let Lashley’s bounty on his head make him get jumpy like that? He gets in people’s faces, throws Carrillo, fights Garza, hits Gulak, then has matches with Ricochet and Ali, all considerably quickly. Seems like they’re trying to jam in a month of build into two weeks when all they needed was to bring up the Elimination Chamber attack like they did near the end. Have a face to face get physical, then debut Corbin as the new replacement in the Hurt Business.

Which is also confusing, actually. Is Corbin going to finally get rid of the King of the Ring gimmick? Is he being traded to Raw and someone will eventually be sent to SmackDown? Was this Brand to Brand Invitation without having time to say so? Maybe next week’s go-home helps with that, or even this week’s SmackDown. But either way, it all seems like we’re being rushed because somewhere along the way, Vince had an idea of how to build this feud of Lashley and McIntyre, didn’t think it through and is just filling in the gaps as quickly as he can.

Another thing that seems clunky is having a copypasta of WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions facing the brand’s top champion and her challenger. I liked the contract signing promos from Asuka and Rhea, and even Rhea being the first one to throw something, but we didn’t need Nia and Shayna coming out and goading Rhea into accepting a match for her and Asuka. Shayna and Nia wanting a Mania match should translate them to going to Adam Pearce, and he’ll make up some huge tag contender match for the go-home, Dana & Mandy VS Naomi & Lana, maybe even use Brand to Brand so Natalya & Tamina can join in, the Heels of Natty & Tamina taking the loss for I would think Naomi & Lana, given how Naomi won against Shayna because of multi-team chaos.

Riddle’s promo with Asuka was weird, too. I think he flubbed his lines and just had to bail because there was no time. Seems a shame, really, I felt like something was there. Sheamus VS Riddle was a great match, and of course it was leading to a US Championship match for Mania. That match will be on par, if not better, and could go either way. Sheamus might need the win more since he’s been on the losing end for a bit more, and Riddle hasn’t exactly had the strongest run as it is, either. Maybe Vince just has no idea what to do with Riddle past “Bro…!” and his behavior that comes off as annoying to other superstars.

Shane’s mockery of Braun was the usual doofiness WWE tends to bring to these kinds of things. Promos like this, with the fake pictures made up just for the promo and put on the titantron just aren’t hitting the mark like they used to, and honestly should just be stopped. Braun of course wins against Ryker, but again has the train sounds for his “Strowman Express” spot. Then him choosing a Steel Cage match was just an awful choice. Is it an unwritten rule that no one can ever remember the THOUSANDS of times when a cage match has NEVER stopped interference? It is just a guarantee that someone on Shane’s side will show up and help him against Braun, which sucks.

We got good promos from Orton and Alexa, and I’m hoping Alexa’s “hint” was the very subtle way of saying we are getting a Firefly Fun House match, as it’s not what Orton expects. It can start as a slug fest, they go backstage, and then things get trippy with the Firefly Fun House stuff where Orton loses and, like John Cena, is blinked out of WWE existence so he can take some time off or something. Then one day, unlike Cena, we get a puppet that is so clearly meant to be Orton joining Alexa in her playground.

I think the best stuff tonight was with the New Day, Styles and Omos. New Day have their game night idea, Styles literally plays along but Omos doesn’t. Omos is almost coming off the alpha of the two because he’s staying serious and focused. Woods VS Styles was a good match, and I’m a little surprised Omos got involved to get Styles disqualified. But Omos catching and throwing Kofi to then help Styles beat Woods down was pretty good. Omos is definitely going to be what makes or breaks the match, both in reality and in kayfabe. Omos did good with the power moves, he was able to run well for that corner body block, and I’m going to assume his finisher is the two-hand slam. It’ll come down to if Omos can keep up with the New Day once it’ll be a fair match, and he could be what costs him and Styles for making some kind of rookie mistake, which could be a good wrinkle in the story for him and Styles.

My Score: 8/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

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No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (4/18/24)

Time to Man Up!

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Will the Ivy League MVP earn a title shot?

The NEW ROH World Champion, Mark Briscoe, is here to step onto the Proving Ground with one of Maria Kanellis’ baby boys, Griff Garrison! Will Griff make Maria proud? Or will he reach for the sky?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo; Keith wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Lance Archer & The Righteous VS Jon Cruz, Savion Truitt & Damian Chambers; Archer & The Righteous win.
  • Lee Johnson VS JD Drake; Lee wins.
  • Abadon VS Allysin Kay; Abadon wins.
  • The Infantry VS The Iron Savages w/Jacked Jameson; The Infantry wins.
  • Six Woman Tag: Diamante, Leila Grey & Taya Valkyrie VS Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora; Kiera, Leyla & Adora win.
  • The Beast Mortos VS Nick Comoroto; Mortos wins.
  • Lady Frost VS Marti Belle; Frost wins.
  • The Dark Order VS Zak Patterson & Frank Milano; The Dark Order wins.
  • ROH World Championship Proving Ground Match: Mark Briscoe VS Griff Garrison w/ Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis; Mark wins and denies Griff a title match.

PLAY BY PLAY

Mark Briscoe speaks.

“Now House of Black, I’ve been doing this dance with y’all a little while now, and I’m starting to understand how y’all operate. Starting to understand y’all’s M-O. You try to intimidate me. You try to strike fear into the hearts of men. Well I done told you, I fear no man, I fear no evil. And ancient wisdom says the violent take it by force. Now lemme tell you, Eddie Kingston, Adam Copeland, and Mark Briscoe, we some violent men! And at Dynasty, we bringing the violence, babeh! So heed my advice, House of Black! Be afraid, be very afraid!” The Sussex County Chicken is ready for a fight, will he, the Rated R Superstar and Mad King tear down The House of Black once and for all?

 

Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo!

The Bounty Hunter is still looking for a prize, but he’ll gladly fight to earn his shot. Will Keith be heading for a golden opportunity on the other side of Dynasty? Or will Solo shoot first?

The Code of Honor is upheld with sarcastic enthusiasm by Solo, and Keith shoves him away. The bell rings and Solo SLAPS Keith! Keith TACKLES Solo and rains down fists! The fans  fire up, Solo gets away then knees Keith low. Solo ROCKS Keith, whips him to a corner, but Keith comes back to run Solo over! Keith scoops to SLAM Solo, then stands on Solo’s face! The fans fire up for the KNEE DROP! Keith then SLAPS Solo! The fans rally for “BK! BK!” Solo storms up but Keith kicks low. Keith reels Solo in, suplexes, and he holds Solo up! Keith marches around, then SLAMS Solo down! Solo bails out and the fans fire up as Keith aims.

Keith builds speed, slides, but Solo ducks! Solo sends Keith into steel steps! The fans boo as Solo leaves Keith behind. The ring count starts, fans chant “SOLO SUCKS! SOLO SUCKS!” Solo counts along but wants it to go faster. Keith stands at 8 of 20, slides in, but Solo stomps and HAMMERS away! The fans boo more, but Solo stands Keith up to bump him off buckles. Keith CHOPS in return! Then CHOPS again! The fans “WOO~,” then Keith ROCKS Solo with a forearm. Keith CHOPS in the corner, but then Solo dodges. Solo tries but Keith dodges the chop to CHOP Solo down! The fans fire up while Solo is stinging.

Keith whips Solo, Solo reverses and CLOBBERS Keith! Cover, TWO! Keith grits his teeth but Solo knees him in the back! And again! The fans rally, Solo taunts them, and then ELBOWS Keith in the head. Solo stalks Keith to a corner, digs his boots in, but again the fans chant “SOLO SUCKS!” Solo stomps away on Keith, digs his boots in again, but Keith fights up! The fans fire up as Keith fires forearms! Keith fires forearms again and again and again, winds up, but Solo dodges! Solo comes back, but Keith ROCKS him after all! The fans fire up as Keith runs in to BOOT! Solo sputters, Keith runs, but then Solo SUPERKICKS! Keith just roars!

Solo swings, but into a T-BONE SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! The fans rally as Keith keeps calm. Keith waits on Solo as fans rally behind him. Solo staggers into a fireman’s carry, but he fights free! Solo shoves, goes to a corner, but then Keith comes back. Solo ELBOWS Keith, whips, but Keith reverses! Solo goes up but gets caught, for an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up again as Keith slashes his throat and aims his finger gun! Keith underhooks, but Solo fights the lift! Solo back drops, Keith sunset flips but Solo stays up to DOUBLE STOMP! Solo then runs up, catches Keith and hits a T-BONE! Cover, TWO!

The fans fire up but Solo hurries to a corner. Solo climbs fast, and DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Keith survives that coup de grace and Solo isn’t sure what to do. Solo kicks Keith around, drags him up and reels him in to underhook. Keith fight that lift, Solo CLUBS away on him, but Keith Alabama Lifts! Solo grabs ropes so Keith lets him down, and ENZIGIRIS! But Solo SCREW HIGH KICKS! Solo goes up top, but Keith RISING HEADBUTTS! The fans fire up with Keith and he climbs! Keith reels Solo in, for DIAMOND DUST!! Cover, Keith wins!

Winner: Bryan Keith, by pinfall

A big win for BK! And he gives back that sarcastic handshake. Will the Bounty Hunter be hot on the trail of a championship after AEW & ROH pass through the Gateway City?

 

Mark Sterling speaks.

“If you ask AI to create the perfect professional wrestler, it wouldn’t even come close to you. If wrestling is a body business, then you’re a multinational corporation. Biology defying symmetry, no fat, all muscle, no waste. As functional as you are aesthetic. High-flying? You got it. Ground ‘n’ pound? You got that, too. Striking, brawling, submission, technical, there is not a single style you have not perfected. For the last 20 years, you’ve been one of the most consistent and proficient wrestling specimens for any company that’s been willing to throw money at you and begged you to stay. And now, it’s time for them to beg for mercy.

“You are Tony Nese, and you are a Premier Athlete.”

Now Mark Sterling & The Premier Athletes are here in person.

They stand backstage, Sterling’s guys in matching tracksuits, and he says the last time he looked into the camera, he told everyone he had a plan. The very next day, they enacted that plan. Sterling took them off the road, they entered a professional fight camp. They got the best coaches, best trainers, best doctors, and these three started to do what they do best: go to work. Supercard of Honor, against two former ROH TV Champions, PA got an impressive victory. Fruits of their labor. Ariya Daivari is back better than ever. Josh Woods is bigger and better than he was when he won the National Championship. And Tony Nese is in the best shape of his life, which is saying something.

In fact, what’re we even talking about? These three are the most underappreciated athletes in the company. They walk like stars, they move like stars, they present themselves like stars, and by the end of this year, they will be champions. Supercard was just phase one of this plan. Phase two… starts tonight. Then just what happens when the Premier Athletes start making moves?

 

Lee Johnson VS JD Drake!

Even though he lost at Supercard, Big Shotty stays positive! He got close to the ROH World Television Championship, will he get back there for another shot? Or will Scrap Metal be another speedbump in Lee’s momentum?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, and the fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, JD HIP TOSSES, and Lee scrambles to ropes. JD flexes and fans cheer, which surprises JD. Lee gets up, he and JD reset. They tie up, JD arm-drags, but Lee gets up. Lee keeps calm while JD talks some smack. They circle, tie up again, and JD scoops! JD carries Lee around, with one arm! Then SLAM! JD dusts off his hands and the fans fire up more. Lee is a bit frustrated, but he fires himself up. The fans rally with him, he and JD circle to tie up. Lee goes to hip toss, but JD blocks! JD tells Lee he knows that’s not gonna work!

JD goes to hip toss but now Lee blocks! Lee arm-drags, then he goes to feint, but JD blocks with a headlock. Lee shoves JD, tries another arm-drag, but JD blocks that. JD whips Lee, Lee ducks ‘n’ dodges and arm-drags again! The fans fire up as Lee tries to scoop, but JD’s too hefty! JD SLAPS Lee, ROCKS him, then whips him to ropes. Lee ducks ‘n’ dodges again, shoves JD and hurdles! Lee drops, then DROPKICKS! JD staggers to a corner, Lee fires up, and the fans fire up with him! Lee runs up on JD in a corner to CHOP! JD barely flinches! JD puts his arms back and dares Lee to try again. Lee CHOPS, but JD puts Lee in the corner!

JD swings, Lee dodges and CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Lee whips, JD reverses but Lee ELBOWS back! Lee runs up but into a lift, and FLAPJACK off buckles! Lee falls, the fans rally up, and JD dusts himself off. JD storms back up on Lee, brings him up, and the fans rally. JD ROCKS Lee, stands him up in the corner, and CHOPS! The fans “WOO~!” while Lee sputters. The fans want that “One More Time!” so JD stands Lee up. JD winds up, to JAB! The fans boo JD trolling them, but JD stands Lee up to CHOP him after all! Lee is stinging, but JD brings him up. Lee throws body shots but JD ROCKS Lee!

JD whips, Lee sunset flips! JD stays up, but Lee avoids the hip drop! Ghost pin, TWO! JD gets up, kicks low and whips, to SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Lee stays in this and the fans rally up. JD sits Lee up, KICKS him in the back, then paces around. The fans rally for Lee but JD pie faces him around. Lee rises, JD brings him up and Lee CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS again! JD throat chops! The ref reprimands, JD claims he jabbed to the chest. JD then scoops and SLAMS Lee, to then FALLING HEADBUTT! Cover, TWO! Lee is still in this but JD CHOKES him! The ref counts, JD lets off, claiming he was just checking the pulse.

JD clamps on a chinlock, digging his knee into Lee’s back. Lee endures, the fans rally up, and Lee fights to his feet. Lee throws body shots, but JD knees low! JD suplexes but Lee slips free! Lee ROCKS JD, ROCKS him again, but JD CHOPS! JD runs, but Lee SUPERKICKS! JD flops out of the ring and the fans fire up! The fans rally as Lee builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit at the ramp and the fans fire up even more! Lee puts JD in, climbs a corner, and JD stands. JD staggers around, into the CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! JD stays in this but then bails back out. Lee thinks on what he has to do and the fans rally up.

Lee runs, to slide, but JD gets under! JD pops Lee up to CLOBBER him! JD puts Lee in, aims from a corner, and Lee goes to the opposite end. JD runs up, but Lee moves, CANNONBALL hits buckles! Lee hurries up while JD is down! The fans cheer as Lee aims, FROG SPLASH, but JD moves! Lee rolls through, runs back at JD but JD puts him on the apron. JD ROCKS Lee, goes up, and he brings Lee around. The fans fire up as JD brings Lee up, but Lee fires body shots! Lee GAMANGIRIS, then climbs! Lee sunset flips for the POWERBOMB! The fans fire up and Lee climbs back up, FROG SPLASH!! Cover, Lee wins!

Winner: Lee Johnson, by pinfall

Big Shotty’s got range, and he hit the mark! Will Lee take this momentum and turn it into another chance at a championship?

 

Abadon VS Allysin Kay!

Speaking of second chances, The Living Dead Girl got screwed out of the ROH Women’s World Television Championship when Mercedes Martinez & Diamante conspired against her. And while AK Don’t Play, she knows the OG Badass well. Can Abadon prepare for revenge by taking down Martinez’s greatest rival?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, but Abadon holds on, to BITE Allysin’s arm! Abadon then laughs, dodges Allysin to HEADBUTT low, HELL STAB, then mule kick! Abadon runs to SHOTGUN BOOT! Allysin goes to a corner while the fans rally up and Abadon shrieks! But Allysin BOOTS Abadon down! Allysin rains down fists, covers, ONE!! Abadon sits up but Allysin brings her around to fireman’s carry. SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up, Allysin drags Abadon up to TOSS her to a corner! Allysin fires body shots, then she CHOPS! Allysin whips corner to corner hard and Abadon bounces off buckles!

Allysin takes a bow, puts pinkies up, and SPLASHES in the corner! Allysin CHOPS, whips, and runs up again, but Abadon BOOTS her! Abadon runs to BULLDOG! The fans rally as Abadon slithers out to the apron then climbs up the corner. Allysin crawls, Abadon aims, CROSSBODY! Abadon runs to KNEE Allysin back down! Abadon storms up on Allysin, reels her in, BLACK DAHLIA! Cover, Abadon wins!

Winner: Abadon, by pinfall

Abadon smiles, then shrieks into the night! Will Mercedes Martinez make sure to stay far, far away from the frightening Living Dead Girl?

 

Backstage interview with Taya Valkyrie.

Lexi Nair is with La Wera Loca and brings up her trios match alongside Diamante and Leila Grey. But this is also the first time we’ve seen her since Supercard, where Johnny TV lost to Dalton Castle. The question is: where is Johnny? Uh, recovering from that vicious attack by Dalton Castle and his “special boy,” Paul Walter-Whatever! Taya is gonna call up Fran Dreischer to file a complaint! For someone so TV Ready, Castle and Paul sure don’t look it. So yes, Johnny is rehabbing. Wait he’s in rehab? Ew, no, who do you think they are? Johnny is rehabbing the abs! This is an aesthetics business so he has to look amazing!

So tonight, Taya will carry the weight of the TV Family in trios action. So run along, Lexi, Taya has things to do. Uh, this is Lexi’s interview space. Oh, well, her apologies. Taya bumps Lexi on the way out, but will Taya’s team win some major points in the title chase tonight?

 

The Infantry VS The Iron Savages w/Jacked Jameson!

Captain Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo may not be the ROH World Tag Team Championships, but they are not deterred. Will they get through the jacked ‘n’ juicy juggernauts to go after The Undisputed Kingdom once again?

The teams sort out, #BadNewsAndTattoos starts against Beefcake Boulder, and they keep the Code of Honor. They tie up, Bravo tries but can’t push Boulder back, but Boulder pushes Bravo back! Bravo resets with Boulder, beefs up, and they tie up. Bravo wrenches to wristlock, but Boulder WRINGS Bravo out! Boulder talks smack on Dean and Bravo, but Bravo pie faces. Boulder scoops Bravo, but Bravo slips free to DROPKICK! Boulder stays up, runs up, but Dean is there to GAMANGIRI! Bravo tags Dean while Boulder throws a fit, but DOUBLE DROPKICKS send him reeling! Bulk Bronson tags but runs into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS!

The fans fire up as the Infantry crisscross and SPLIT the wishbone! Bravo gets fans going with “OORAH!” Dean runs to JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Bronson bails out, Boulder is there to help him, and Dean builds speed, only for Jacked Jameson to stand in the way! He wants Dean to sip the Savage Sauce! Dean says no thanks, but in comes Bronson! EXPLODER! Bravo protests but Bronson drags Dean to a cover. The ref is busy arguing, he finally sees the pin, TWO! Bronson is annoyed, but he mocks Bravo’s air machine gun. Bravo then tags Boulder before he brings Dean up. The fans rally but the Savages still hit a SHOULDER TACKLE SUPLEX COMBO!

Bronson flexes, Boulder taunts Bravo, and then Boulder whips Dean to the corner. Boulder wraps Dean’s arms around ropes to HEADBUTT again and again and again! Tag to Bronson, he brings Dean around, and they visit #TIDDYCITY! But Dean reverses, it’s Bronson who dives in! Boulder panics, runs up, but Dean DUMPS him! Bronson swings, misses, hot tag to Bravo! Bravo rallies on Bronson with big forearms! Bravo whips, Bronson reverses, but the CARLIE CROSSOVER takes Bronson down! Boulder gets up, Bravo fakes him out to SCISSOR KICK! Bravo then kicks Bronson, and manages a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally, Bravo pounds the mat, but now Jameson wants Bravo to sip! Bravo says no, get outta here! Bronson runs up again, Bravo dodges, and Bronson barely avoids hitting Jameson! Bravo aims, Bronson dodges, the SUPERKICK hits Jameson! Jameson spews sauce! Boulder catches Jameson, Dean goes up, and Dean CROSSBODIES to wipe them both out! But Bronson rolls Bravo up! TWO, and Bronson grabs Bravo, only for Bravo to kick low! Bravo reels Bronson in, tags Dean, and TORNADO- NO, Bronson stops the DDT! Dean gets in, Bronson scoops, but Dean slips free! Feed to a SUPERKICK!

The Infantry coordinate, for BOOT CAMP! Cover, Infantry wins!

Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall

Dean & Bravo redeem themselves from Supercard and are ready to get back on track! But wait, The Premier Athletes make their way out here! Is this what Smart Mark was talking about for phase two? Daivari & Nese rush the ring and start throwing hands with The Infantry! Woods tips the scales as he DECKS Dean, then DECKS Bravo! But wait! Here comes Dalton Castle! The Peacock won’t stand for there to be bullies, and he takes off his sandals to weaponize them! The Premier Athletes dare him to, but wait! Here comes Mark Briscoe, Bryan Keith and Lee Johnson! They run The Premier Athletes off!

Sterling shouts, “Who do you think you are?!” but he’s shouting at THE ROH World Champion and many other big names around here! Will The Peacock, the Chicken and the rest of ROH humble Sterling’s stable once and for all?

 

Six Woman Tag: Diamante, Leila Grey & Taya Valkyrie VS Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora!

The Cuban Diamond has staked her claim at challenging for the ROH Women’s World Television Championship, but so has The Hottest Flame. But let’s not forget The Last Baddie Standing, La Wera Loca, the LEGIT One and The AfroPunk! Billie Starkz still sees herself above all six of these women, but which trio takes the lead in the title chase with a win tonight?

The teams sort out, Taya starts against Kiera and the Code of Honor is upheld. The bell rings, the two tie up, and Kiera gets around to waistlock. Taya pries the hold, backs Kiera into a corner and throws elbows! Taya stomps away on Kiera, then says who’s the hottest now? Taya snapmares, covers, ONE!! Taya drags Kiera up, whips her to ropes, but Kiera holds ropes to BOOT back! Taya runs up again but Kiera drop toeholds her onto ropes! HIP ATTACK! Taya flounders, Kiera runs to step-up and LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Kiera keeps cool as she brings Taya up, but Taya ROCKS Kiera then throws her by her hair!

Taya tags Diamante, they stomp Kiera, then Diamante sucker punches Leyla! Diamante runs in to DROPKICK Kiera, then drags her to a high stack cover, ONE!! Kiera is tougher than that but Diamante says it’s just a matter of time. Diamante runs, PLANKING SPLASH flops as Kiera moves! Hot tag to Leyla! Leyla gut wrenches Diamante to GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Tag to Adora, then Leyla wrenches so she can hand it off to Adora. Adora WRINGS Diamante’s arm, drags her up and wrenches again, but Diamante ROCKS her! Adora swings, Diamante dodges to tilt-o-whirl and RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Diamante snarls and pushes Adora down to rain down fists!

Diamante storms around, brings Adora up and CHOPS her on the back! Tag to Grey and she NECK SNAPPERS Adora! Cover, TWO! Adora is tougher than that but Grey rains down fists! Grey drags Adora up, bumps her off buckles, then tags Taya. Taya and Grey dig their boots in, then Taya stomps a mudhole. Taya sits Adora down to METEORA! Tag to Diamante and she stomps a mudhole! The ref reprimands but Diamante tags Taya back in. Taya steps over Adora and mockingly has Adora reach out to her corner. The ref has to keep Hirsch back so Grey gets shots in, then Taya drags Adora up.

Taya again mockingly holds out Adora’s hand but the fans rally up. Adora fights up, but Taya pulls her into the motorcycle stretch! Adora endures the knee in her back, fights up to her feet, and then arm-drags Taya away! Taya gets up, ducks ‘n’ dodges and mule kicks! But Adora ducks the buzzsaw to BASEMENT GERMAN! The fans fire up while both women are down! Adora and Taya crawl, hot tags to Kiera and Diamante! Kiera rallies on Diamante with big forearms, then a SUPERKICK! Turn and NECKBREAKER! Kiera goes up a corner while Diamante flounders around. Diamante stands, into a MISSILE DROPKICK!

Diamante flounders, Grey tags in but Kiera dodges to fire off forearms! Grey shoves back, but Kiera returns to SHOTGUN! Grey flounders, Kiera fires up, and says kiss this! HIP ATTACK in the corner! She sits Grey back down to run and BOOT WASH! Kiera drags Grey to a cover, Diamante breaks it! Diamante gets Grey outta there, and Taya tags in. Taya runs up to mule kick, KNEE LIFT and wrench Kiera, into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Leyla also gets in, she pushes Taya around. Leyla drags Taya up but Diamante runs in. Leyla gets around to SAIDO! Taya gets Kiera up but Kiera SUPERKICKS!

Kiera brings Taya over, tags Adora, and they feed Taya to the BUBBA BOMB! Body scissor and GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! Hot tag to Grey, she runs up, ducks ‘n’ dodges, then SLINGBLADES! Cover, TWO! Grey is frustrated but she gets Adora up. Underhooks, but Adora breaks that to fireman’s carry! Adora storms over, tags Hirsch, but Grey slips free! Leyla dodges Leila and feeds her to Adora’s BOOT! Then GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Grey survives but Hirsch tags Kiera. Kiera runs, but Taya trips her up! Diamante distracts so the ref misses that! But then Leyla DIVES onto Taya! Diamante CANNONBALLS Leyla!

LARIAT TUBMAN from Adora to Diamante! Kiera dodges Grey to ROUNDHOUSE! And then “That’s all, PERIODT!” FACE THE MUSIC!! Bridging cover, Team Kiera wins!

Winners: Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora, by pinfall

It was fast ‘n’ furious in the end there, but the Hottest Flame burns it down! Will she be first up to strike a match with Billie Starkz?

 

Backstage interview with Maria Kanellis, Griff Garrison & Cole Karter.

Lexi is with the First Lady of Wrestling and her baby boys, the Diamond in the Rough wearing the stolen mask from Serpentico. Lexi congratulates them on their win over Spanish Announce Project at Supercard, but it seems there might be some unfinished business. Are they ever going to give Seprentico his masks back? Karter takes the mask off to say hell no! Griff says Serpentico’s masks mean a lot to him and his lucha libre culture. But uh, they don’t care! It got them the attention that they deserve, and those wins have been a stepping stone in this company.

If Serpentico wants his masks back, he doesn’t need to trick them into a match. They’re happy to beat the crap outta him anytime, anywhere! Maria loves the confidence, and says Griff will need it in his Proving Grounds match against THE ROH World Champion, Mark Briscoe. Griff is all fired up, will the Ivy League MVP pass the test with flying colors? Or will he fail to #ManUp?

 

The Beast Mortos VS Nick Comoroto!

Black Taurus has evolved into something even more menacing than before, and he is looking to stampede all the way to the top of ROH! But Mr. Freak Beast has changed a lot about himself, too, in hopes of finding success. Whose transformation will prove to be for the better as these behemoths collide?

The Code of Honor is upheld reluctantly, the bell rings, and the fans rally up. The two tie up, go around, and Comoroto shoves Mortos down! Mortos gets up in a huff, gets in Comoroto’s face, but Comoroto pie faces him. So Mortos SLAPS Comoroto! Comoroto runs up, Mortos dodges, and they RAM shoulders! Mortos ducks ‘n’ dodges and jumps to RANA! Comoroto goes to a corner but Mortos runs in to UPPERCUT, CLOTHESLINE, and GAMANGIRI! Mortos wrenches and hits an ARMBAR CODE BREAKER! Comoroto staggers, but he blocks the whip! Comoroto shoves Mortos, runs up, but Mortos dodges to then roll off Comoroto’s back!

Mortos tries to hip toss but Comoroto blocks! Comoroto LARIATS Mortos down then rains down fists! Fans are torn as Comoroto huffs ‘n’ puffs and stomps Mortos around. Comoroto digs his boot into Mortos’ face, lets off to soak up heat, then he drags Mortos up. Comoroto scoops to SLAM, then he runs to JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! The fans rally as Mortos pounds the mat in frustration. Comoroto slashes his throat, but Mortos throws body shots. Comoroto CLUBS Mortos, Alabama Lifts, but Mortos sunset flips! Comoroto stays up, hauls Mortos up, but Mortos JAWBREKAERS, KNEES and ROCKS Comoroto!

Mortos goes to suplex but Comoroto’s a big guy, too! Comoroto suplexes Mortos, but Mortos knees free! Mortos goes to a corner, Comoroto runs in but Mortos dropkicks the legs out! Comoroto hits buckles, then Mortos runs in, CORNER 619! Comoroto staggers away and Mortos climbs, to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Comoroto still has power to spare and he storms up on Mortos. Mortos UPPERCUTS first! Mortos goes to whip but Comoroto blocks again! Comoroto whips Mortos to a corner, runs up, but Mortos slips out to the apron! Comoroto hits buckles, Mortos goes up, and the fans rally! MORTOS TWISTER! Cover, Mortos wins!

Winner: The Beast Mortos, by pinfall

Comoroto is big and bad but this is a beast of a different breed! Will nothing stop the modern day minotaur from making ROH his domain? Will Jacoby Watts’ teachings ever pay off for Comoroto?

 

Backstage interview with Nick Comoroto.

Lexi is with Mr. Freakbeast as he returns backstage, and she asks him what his strategy will be moving forward after this tough loss. Jacoby Watts walks in to say, “Turn the page. Start a new chapter. Nothing changes if nothing changes, Nick. It’s a harsh reality. But I am your answer. Your beacon of hope in the darkness. Follow me and I will lead you into the light! For I am Jacoby Watts, the one and only, praise be to he, and he is me.” Watts waxes poetic while making himself the focus, but will Comoroto accept his guidance?

 

ROH World Championship Proving Ground Match: Mark Briscoe VS Griff Garrison w/ Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis!

The Sussex County Chicken won this title after a war with Eddie Kingston at Supercard, and those two are still going to be friends taking on The House of Black this Sunday! But will Mark be able to focus on tonight with Dynasty on the horizon? Or is this where Maria’s baby boys start building their kingdom?

Mark shows off the belt and its new camouflage patterned leather! The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings and we’re on the clock. The fans cheer on Mark as he circles with Griff. They tie up, Griff headlocks, but Mark powers up and out. Griff sunset flips, but Mark rolls through to drop on the headlock! Griff moves around, fights up, and powers up, but Mark holds tight! Mark hits the takeover, Griff headscissors, but Mark kips free. Roles reverse as Griff headlocks for the takeover, and Mark headscissors. Griff kips free, but Mark shows Redneck Kung-Fu stance and Griff scrambles away! The fans cheer but Maria coaches Griff back up.

Griff cools off, he and Mark reset, and the two circle again. They knuckle lock but Griff kicks low. Griff UPPERCUTS, UPPERCUTS again, then whips corner to corner. Mark goes up and out, SWATS the haymaker to REDNECK KUNG-FU UPPERCUT! Then Mark gets in to BOOT Griff down! Griff is on ropes, Mark runs in to BOOT WASH him right outta the ring! The fans fire up as Mark builds speed, and he DIVES onto Griff! Not the cleanest landing but Mark borrows a hat to put it on! The fans fire up with Mark, he gives the hat back, then drags Griff up to DECK him! Mark drags Griff up again, to scoop and SLAM!

Griff sputters, Mark goes to the apron, and the fans fire up as Mark takes aim. But then Karter and Maria stand in the way! The fans boo, Mark sighs and steps inside, and Maria coaches Griff up. Griff flounders up, the fans rally behind Mark but then Karter and Maria each get on the apron! The ref is busy arguing with Maria but Karter distracts Mark. Griff sneaks in to CLOBBER Mark! Griff fires forearms while the fans boo, but then Griff stomps a mudhole into Mark. The ref counts as Griff digs his boots in, but Griff lets off at 4. But then that lets Karter CHOKE Mark behind the ref’s back!

The fans boo as Karter gets away with one, and Griff drags Mark up. Griff UPPERCUTS, but Mark CHOPS! Griff sputters, Mark CHOPS again! Griff knees low, whips Mark to a corner, but runs into an ELBOW! Mark runs up, into a BOOT! Cover, TWO! Griff clamps onto Mark with a chinlock and he grinds Mark down. The fans rally as Mark endures and fights up. Mark throws body shots, then fires up to CHOP! CHOP! And CHOP! Mark runs, but into the ROLLING ELBOW! Griff then torture racks for the TOWER HACKER BOMB! High stack, TWO! Mark survives and Griff is frustrated but Maria coaches him up.

The fans continue to rally behind Mark as Griff aims again. Griff goes up but Mark REDNECK UPPERCUTS! Griff gets caught up in ropes, Mark lets him loose so he can fall to the floor. Karter hurries over, but Mark goes up to PLANCHA both baby boys! The fans are thunderous, and Mark cracks open a can of WOOOOO Energy! Mark chugs it, bangs the can against his head, then gets Griff in the ring. The fans fire up as Mark runs corner to corner, but Griff BOOTS him! Mark comes back to LARIAT! The fans fire up, Mark reels Griff in, but Griff wrenches out, only for Mark to LARIAT! Mark hauls Griff up again for underhooks!

Mark lifts, for the JAY DRILLER!! Cover, Mark wins!

Winner: Mark Briscoe, by pinfall (denies Griff Garrison a title opportunity)

Maria is upset but there’s nothing she can do, her baby boy wasn’t man enough to stop the NEW ROH World Champion! Will Mark continue to carry on his brother’s legacy and become one of the best champions in ROH history?


My Thoughts:

A very good episode of ROH for being 92 minutes. I still skipped some very clear filler, but Marti Belle got a good showing in her loss to Frost and The Dark Order got a good match out of Zak & Frank. Cruz, Damian & Savion got an okay showing but c’mon, they were against Archer & The Righteous, those guys have been running through everyone. It hasn’t really led them to anything yet, but maybe after we get undisputed AEW & ROH World Trios Champions after Dynasty, Archer & Righteous challenge the winners. And real good wins for Bryan Keith and Lee Johnson, each guy looking good towards midcard titles at some point.

Really good match from Infantry VS Savages, with the Savages being a bit more Heelish this time. Good win for Infantry, but I didn’t think The Premier Athletes would be going after them first. And I didn’t expect Faces like Keith, Lee and Briscoe to run out to get at them. Maybe the Premier Athletes can also position themselves to go after the trios titles after Dynasty. If The Acclaimed win, they’ll need Heel opponents. Archer & Righteous can play either side, but fans really like Archer so I kinda want him and Righteous to be Faces when facing Bang Bang Gang.

Good match and good win for Abadon over Allysin. Good win for Kiera, Leyla & Adora, though things got a little sloppy in the middle, Leyla’s timing wasn’t quite there. Athena & Billie are both Heels, so while Queen Aminata is in the mix, the champion she doesn’t choose still needs a good Face challenger so you can take your pick of the winners from tonight. Really good match from Mortos and Comoroto, and Mortos winning also helped serve Comoroto’s story with Watts. Watts keeps insisting he’s the answer, but this has to lead to Comoroto breaking free and beating Watts up for his arrogance.

Good promo from Maria, Griff & Karter, and they just kinda copy-pasted Mark Briscoe’s promo from Collision that same Saturday. Really good match for Griff against Mark but of course Mark wins. Mark getting involved with Premier Athletes, maybe Woods or Nese get a shot at Mark only to lose and be Mark’s solid first defense. Not sure who could be a more prolonged feud with Mark, but there are plenty of possibilities, and I’m just happy to see him showing up on ROH TV as the ROH World Champion should.

My Score: 8.5/10


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