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Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (8/12/21)

Supernova 11 VS Subculture’s Skater-Rocker!

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Coverage NXT UK 2021

Who takes the first step towards challenging Tyler Bate?

While Tyler Bate & Trent Seven go for the NXT UK Tag Team Championships, a Heritage Cup Contender Tournament begins! Will Scottish Supernova or Welsh Rocker-Skater come out on top?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Flash Morgan Webster w/ Subculture VS Wolfgang; Wolfgang wins.
  • Nina Samuels VS Amale; Amale wins.
  • NXT UK Heritage Cup Contenders Tournament: Noam Dar VS Mark Andrews; Dar wins and advances to the next round.

PLAY BY PLAY

Flash Morgan Webster VS Wolfgang!

The Modfather isn’t in this year’s Heritage Cup tournament, but he was in last year’s. So then, can he help #MAndrews scout the Last King of Scotland before ever having to face him in the brackets? Or will Wolfgang return FMW’s slap with interest?

The bell rings and FMW moves around. Wolfgang corners him but FMW gets away. They reset, BT Sports Studio rallies, and FMW dodges to SLAP Wolfie! Wolfgang laughs it off this time as FMW grins, and the two go again. FMW gets around, waistlocks, Wolfgang throws him and has the arm. FMW kips up, wrenches, and SLAPS again! This time Wolfgang is mad. FMW bails out and Wolfgang says he’s running outta luck. Wolfgang cools off as FMW goes around the outside. FMW climbs up while taunting Wolfgang about where he’s been slapping him. Wolfgang and FMW approach, FMW stomps a foot and puts on a headlock!

Wolfgang powers out, FMW gets around again to headlock! Wolfgang back suplexes, blocks the slap, and DECKS FMW! FMW staggers up and Wolfgang cravats. Wolfgang cranks the neck and snapmares to a cover, TWO! Wolfgang keeps on FMW, FMW hits back with body shots, but Wolfgang knees low. Then a cravat TOSS! FMW staggers up and boots Wolfgang away! Wolfgang comes back, FMW goes up and over and V-TRIGGERS! Wolfgang falls out of the ring, FMW pursues, but Wolfgang throws him back into the ring. FMW gets up to PLANCHA into a GUTBUSTER! Wolfgang knew what was coming and how to take advantage!

Wolfgang puts FMW in, FMW starts kicking. FMW throws body shots, Wolfgang KNEES! FMW clutches his ribs, Wolfgang squeezes him with a bearhug! FMW endures, BT Sports Studio rallies up but Wolfgang throws in heavy hands. FMW pulls hair, gets up and throws elbows. Wolfgang just spins FMW around into another bearhug! FMW endures, throws elbows, gets free but Wolfgang KNEES him in the ribs again! And puts on a Cobra Twist! Wolfgang digs his fingers into ribs, then digs knuckles into more ribs! FMW endures, moves around, gets his leg fee and spins to throw forearms! But Wolfgang gets him up to RAM him into a corner! And then runs in, but FMW dodges!

Wolfgang staggers from hitting the buckles, FMW runs in but is put on the apron! FMW slingshots up and over and keeps moving to fire off forearms and CHOPS! Forearm, CHOP, Wolfgang shoves, but FMW dropkicks back! FMW goes up, QUEBRADA! BT Sports Studio fires up as FMW bobs ‘n’ waves and fakes Wolfgang out for a HEADBUTT! FMW reels Wolfgang in?! He underhooks the arms, but Wolfgang back drops free! FMW comes back but into a kitchen sink knee! BASEMENT SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Wolfgang drags FMW up, reels him in but FMW can barely stay up so Wolfgang stands over him in the Gallus Boy crossed arm pose and says, “Gallus Boys on top!”

Wolfgang drags FMW back up, fireman’s carries, FMW throws elbows. FMW waistlocks, Wolfgang elbows him away, but then FMW boots from the corner. FMW goes up and leaps but Wolfgang catches him! Wolfgang pops FMW up, but FMW POISON RANAS!! FMW fires up to V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!?! FMW can’t believe it but he keeps going! FMW climbs up, somersault senton onto knees! FMW staggers away to a corner, comes back, into the WOLFGANG SPEAR! Cover, Wolfgang wins!

Winner: Wolfgang, by pinfall

The Modfather didn’t win, but there was a lot of Wolfgang’s game for the High-Fiving, Stage-Diving Welsh Rocker-Skater to watch. Will Webster’s efforts help Andrews in the long run?

 

Sid Scala speaks.

The Assistant NXT UK GM says that in two weeks, Joe Coffey VS Rampage Brown III will finally happen! And the only way to prove which man is the toughest in NXT UK, the only way to win is by submission or knockout! Will the Iron King stand atop his kingdom? Or will he be beaten down by the Rampage?

 

NXT UK Media interviews Subculture’s Mark Andrews and Dani Luna.

As we just saw, Flash fell short against Wolfgang. Have they had a chance to talk to him? No, not yet but Andrews says, “Even though he came up short, he put a hell of a shift in.” Wolfgang is a big, big man and FMW gave him a run for his money. Dani says FMW gave Wolfgang a run for his money, too. Wait, Isla Dawn is creeping around in the back and now Dani notices. Is she…? Well, just ignore her. But then Dawn reaches out for Dani’s hair and Dani tells her to leave it alone. Dawn creeps away now, will she give Dani the creeps in a match soon enough?

 

NXT UK Media catches up with Moustache Mountain.

Trent Seven speaks to the virtues of “facial myofascial release” as Tyler Bate uses a muscle massager on his cheek, and the Big Strong Boy sees what he means. The media asks the guys their thoughts on the coming NXT UK Tag Team Championship match with Pretty Deadly. Seven says it’s “A long time coming, that’s what it is.” Moustache Mountain is back, the title match is set, “and how can you call yourselves the NXT UK Tag Team Champions if you haven’t wrestled Moustache Mountain?” Bate says Seven’s on a winstreak, Bate’s on one himself, time to complete the NXT UK Triple Crown and an overall NXT Grand Slam, while getting Trent to his first NXT UK belt.

Seven realizes it will be, and says it will be. Moustache Mountain fist bumps and gets back to training, will Pretty Deadly be in for a big strong finale to their reign?

 

Sid Scala has NXT UK Media follow him.

Jinny and Joseph Conners are already waiting in his office and he thanks them for coming to discuss the coming match. In two weeks, Jinny will have a rematch with Aoife Valkyrie, but this time it will be a No Disqualification match. Jinny tells the “smart little boy” that she will look forward to destroying Aoife, and thanks him for this news. But there’s one more detail, and it involves Conners. He will be locked inside a cage at ringside. Now Jinny is mad and the “stupid, STUPID boy!” As Jinny storms off, Conners tells Sid that this won’t change the outcome. Maybe, but will Jinny VS Valkyrie II at least end fair and square?

 

Nina Samuels VS Amale!

The Leading Lady and the French Hope have been clashing backstage, and that’s not in regards to their fashion senses. Every woman wants to step to the Final Boss, but a line has to form. Who will cut the other off and be that much closer to a showdown with Meiko Satomura?

The bell rings and the two rush each other! Nina kicks, RAMS Amale to a corner, then RAMS her shoulder in! The ref counts, Nina lets off but kicks again, then THROWS Amale by her hair! Nina drags Amale up by her hair to THROW her again! Snapmare, but Amale dodges the leg drop to come back and LARIAT! Amale rains down furious fists, then tops it off with a forearm. Amale whips Nina to a corner then runs in to clothesline! And then a BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Amale drags Nina up to a cravat and cranks the neck. Nina endures, Amale snapmares and has a cover, TWO! Amale must’ve seen Wolfgang do that!

Nina fights up, throws body shots, spins through and bridges to then victory roll Amale, TWO! Amale comes up to KNEE low and snapmare again. Nina avoids the elbow drop to NECK SNAPPER! Cover, TWO! Nina keeps her composure then she kicks Amale around. Amale gets to ropes, Nina digs her boots in, but the ref counts. Nina lets off, stalks Amale to a corner and brings her out. Nina talks trash, whips but Amale reverses. Nina goes up and NIGHTSHADES to a springboard DOUBLE KNEE! Nina digs Amale into the ropes! The ref counts, Nina lets off then argues with the ref, before she whips Amale corner to corner hard!

Amale dodges as Nina runs in to stomp a mudhole! Amale then runs side to side to BOOT WASH! Amale fisherman’s for a SCREW! Cover, TWO!! Nina survives and Amale is losing her cool. Amale kicks at Nina, but Nina small packages, TWO! Amale throws knees, throws forearms, but Nina throws body shots. Amale throws forearms, runs, but Nina scoops and tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKERS! Then gut wrenches for another BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Nina is starting to lose her cool but she keeps herself focused. Nina gets Amale at the ropes, brings her up and pulls her back into a Motorcycle Stretch! The ref counts, Nina stops and 3 and runs in, but Amale dodges the dropkick!

Nina ends up seated in the ropes, Amale hits a DRAPING BACKBREAKER! Amale gets Nina up, Nina fights the Complete Shot to swing, into Amale’s NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Amale is furious as she gets Nina for the HEARTBREAKER!! Cover, Amale wins!

Winner: Amale, by pinfall

The French Hope might still have hope yet! If she can take the spotlight from the Leading Lady, can she take the starring role in a title rematch with the Best in the World?

 

NXT UK takes a closer look at Walter VS Dragunov II.

Ilja says, “We had this match the whole world was talking about. Everybody was talking about the violence, everybody was talking about the brutality we had in this match. Everybody celebrated Walter, but nobody talks about how you mentally suffer if you go in with all the belief you have in your body… And you do just not succeed.” Dragunov admits his very, very dark phase. Walter became a nightmare for him. Nightmares can come back, and his did. Walter did it again. “There’s just nothing left inside of me. I had respect for Walter, but it’s gone.” But now Dragunov is ready to become Walter’s nightmare.

The chance is at TakeOver 36. Dragunov knows he has doubt but he different now. His will to win is burning like a fire, and his instinct to take Walter down once and for all is cold as ice! Will this cold-blooded fury be enough to finally take the title away from the Ring General? We’ll see in 10 days!

 

NXT UK shares footage from two weeks ago, after Moustache Mountain VS Symbiosis.

NXT UK reporters started to ask Symbiosis something, but Eddie Dennis stopped them to ask, “What’s wrong with you? Do you realize what these two have just been through?” But then Saxon Huxley comes storming in, going on about “Better luck next time! Better luck next time!” Dennis asks Huxley if he’s talking to them, but Huxley just stares him down. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME! Dennis shoves Huxley, Huxley just storms off saying it over and over again. Will next time be against the Divine Beast of the Astral Plane?

 

Meiko Satomura speaks.

“Next week, Stevie Turner challenges me for my NXT UK Women’s Championship. I asked for everyone from NXT UK to step up, and Stevie did. Stevie is a good young competitor, but she has a lot to learn about respect.” Stevie says no one can prepare themselves “for someone this, far, ahead.” But Meiko says she will teach Stevie all about respect. Next week, she will. And it will be a very painful lesson. Stevie says she’s the future of NXT UK and she’s going right to the top. Even so, will the Final Boss make sure “the future” waits its turn?

 

NXT UK Media catches up with Pretty Deadly.

Sam Stoker & Lewis Howley thank the media for following them to the WWE Warehouse. They’re surrounded by history! Howley finds HHH’s old sledge! And Stoker says that next week, Pretty Deadly cements themselves as NXT UK’s best tag team champion in WWE history. They’ll soon have an entire PD warehouse with plagues, signed  photos and of course statues of Pretty Deadly. Wonderful! But first, they need to make room. Out with the old. Like Moustache Mountain. Many consider them as the best team to offer, but after next week, they’ll just be the best tag team Pretty Deadly’s beaten. They step on the Bate and Seven WWE 2K20 cards, but can they step over Moustache Mountain?

 

NXT UK Heritage Cup Contenders Tournament: Noam Dar VS Mark Andrews w/ Dani Luna!

As the Big Strong Boy said himself, he’s got tag titles on the horizon, but he still looks forward to defending the cup. As such, this tournament begins! And being that it is for the Heritage Cup, it will be under British Round Rules! Will the Scottish Supernova put his money where his mouth is? Or will Andrews be high-fiving, stage-diving, skateboarding and springboarding all the way to the top?

Dar complains, someone forgot to tell Sha Samuels to be here. That aside, the bell rings and round one begins. Dar and Andrews circle, feel it out, and tie up. Dar throws Andrews down with a leg sweep and he talks trash, “No skateboards in here.” BT Sports Studio rallies as the two go again, and Andrews gets around to waistlock. Dar reaches back, switches, then throws Andrews down to get a facelock. Andrews slips out to wrench an arm to a wristlock! Andrews wrenches again but Dar ends up on ropes. The ref calls for the break, Dar shoves Andrews then eggs him on. Andrews rushes in but Dar gets away, swaggering about.

Andrews keeps cool as he resets and ties up with Dar. Dar wrenches, wristlocks, Andrews rolls and handsprings to dropkick! Dar flounders and Andrews kips up! Andrews dusts his shoulder and taunts Dar. Dar tells Andrews to back up then stands up. They go again, Andrews gets a headlock, throws Dar over but Dar endures. Dar fights up, powers up but Andrews grinds the headlock. Dar endures as we’re under a minute, but Dar powers out this time, only for Andrews to run him over! Things speed up but Dar trips Andrews up! Dar ties up the legs, modified Queen Angelito, then he just grinds forearms into Andrews’ face. The ref reprimands, Dar lets off and Dar KICKS Andrews’ legs!

Dar blows a kiss to Dani but she ignores it as he snapmares Andrews. Under 30 seconds as Andrews wrenches back, ELBOW BREAKER, and then another wrench to ELBOW BREAKER! Another wrench, Andrews wrangles Dar down and we’re at 10 seconds. Dar moves around, gets up, Andrews wrenches but time is up! Dar gives a shove but leaves it at that.

Dar: 0; Andrews: 0

Both men get their water at the corner and are ready for round two. The two circle again, Dar calls for test of strength but toys with Andrews at the same time. They knuckle lock, go shoulder to shoulder, and Dar starts to bend Andrews back. Dar hooks Andrews’ feet, covers, but Andrews kips up! Andrews turns things around but Dar kicks and feints to KICK and KICK! Andrews goes down, Dar hurries to cover, TWO! Andrews gets space, Dani coaches him up, and Dar again “flirts” with her. Andrews throws body shots but Dar KICKS him down again. And then KICKS him in the back! Dar gets Andrews on the ropes but Andrews shoulders back! Dar snapmares Andrews into the ropes!

Dar drags Andrews to a cover, TWO! Andrews grits his teeth but Dar is after the arm. Knuckle lock and stomp! Dar drags Andrews around by the other arm to stomp again! And then a leg! Dar winks at Dani, stomps Andrews’ leg, then paces. Andrews swings but misses and Dar KICKS him in the side. We’re at the last minute of the round as both men go out of the ring. Dar gets Andrews up and a ring count starts, Dar RAMS Andrews into barriers. Dani tells Dar to get this back in the ring. The ring count is 6, Dar puts Andrews in and KICKS him! Dar throws Andrews down, covers, TWO! Dar is growing frustrated as he drags Andrews up again.

Dar whips, Andrews goes up and under and around to arm-drag! Back down to 10 seconds again as more arm-drags fly! Andrews runs, cartwheels, dropkicks Dar out of the ring, and that’s the round!

Dar: 0; Andrews: 0

Was Dar saved by the bell? Not if you asked him. But he does get back in, both men catch their breath, and it’s round three! They tie up, Dar gets a leg but Andrews spins and sunset flips, TWO! Andrews runs in but Dar puts him on the apron. Andrews shoulders in, slingshots up and over to sunset flip but Dar holds ropes. Andrews avoids a stomp and then avoids a kick! Dar hits buckles and hobbles, but he dodges Andrews as he runs in again. Andrews goes up the corner, mule kicks Dar, then adjusts, only for Dar to PENALTY KICK the legs out! Andrews hits the mat and clutches his foot! Dar moves around, but here come… Teoman and Rohan Raja?!

The Babo and his “brother” watch and Dar taunts them. Dar gets Andrews up to back suplex! Cover, TWO! Dar “flirts” with Dani more but Andrews waistlocks! Dar switches, Andrews wheelbarrows and STOMP 182! Both men are catching their breath and Dani coaches Andrews. Andrews reels Dar in for a NORTHERN LIGHTS, then floats to- Dar kicks Andrews in the leg to stop the moonsault! But Andrews steps up and over again to suplex. Dar blocks and reverses, STUNDOG MILLIONAIRE! We’re under a minute as Dar bails out, but Andrews DIVES! Direct hit into barriers and Andrews gets Dar in! Andrews aims from the apron, springboards, but Dar dodges!

Andrews hobbles, Dar runs in but Andrews slides to PELE INTO CHAMPANGE SUPER KNEEBAR! Andrew taps, Dar gets a fall!

Dar: 1; Andrews: 0

But Dar won’t let go and the ref counts. Dar lets off, using the leeway to his advantage. Teoman then signals to Raja and they leave. Have they seen enough already?

Round four begins and Dar rushes in! Andrews dodges, Dar hits buckles, Andrews ROCKS and CHOPS Dar on repeat! Dar ends up in a corner, Andrews whips him but Dar reverses. Andrews stops himself, elbows Dar away then goes up. Andrews jumps over the kick, catches the next and puts it on the rope to 619 the leg! And then ENZIGURIS and DRAGON SCREWS! Dar falls and writhes as Andrews gets in. Dani rallies for Andrews, he dropkicks Dar’s leg out! BT Sports Studio rallies as Andrews gets a leg. Dar fights, kicks but Andrews keeps trying. Dar wants Andrews’ leg but Andrews turns him more! Dar BOOTS Andrews away and is free of the partial Boston Crab.

Dar gets up to KICK Andrews in the chest! Dar tries another kick, Andrews blocks it, but Dar elbows him on the top of his head! Dar boots then runs in but Andrews dodges. Dar ducks a kick, and catches the enziguri! But Andrews uses the ankle lock to get a victory roll! ANDREWS gets a fall!

Dar: 1; Andrews: 1

We’re all tied up and in the penultimate round! Dar and Andrews get their bad legs moving as the clock begins. Dar dodges a dropkick, Andrews dodges a stomp and rolls Dar up, TWO! Andrews slides to the waistlock but Dar pries free to give kicks from below. But the bad leg! Dar hesitates, Andrews gets the legs to sit on the victory roll, TWO! Andrews ROCKS Dar and Dar rebounds to ROCK Andrews! Another forearm, Andrews fires off hands from all sides then reels Dar in. Dar wrenches free but Andrews avoids the sweep to KICK and KICK and KICK Dar’s bad leg. Dar blocks with his bad leg but that’s double-edged! Andrews 619’s but into an ANKLE LOCK!

But Andrews rolls to throw Dar then comes back. Dar blocks the leg, shifts grip and BACK ELBOWS! Cover, TWO! Dar and Andrews are down as BT Sports Studio says, “This is Awesome!” Dar gets to a corner, has pinkies out and takes aim at Andrews. Andrews rises up slowly, Dar runs in, but Andrews GAMANGIRIS! Then reels Dar in for a SIT OUT URENAGE! Andrews hurries as we’re at the last minute! Dar gets up and KICKS Andrews’ legs out! Andrews hits the mat again and Dani rallies up for him. Dar still flirts with Dani but she tells him to come get her then. Andrews stalks up behind Dar but Dar mule kicks the bad leg! Dar aims from a corner, NOVA ROLLA! Cover, Dar wins!!

Winner: Noam Dar, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

With 22 seconds to spare in the fifth, Mr. Supernova 11 is moving on to the second round of his second Heritage Cup Tournament. He is determined to prove he is Mr. British Rounds, but who will he have to face in the semifinals to do it?


My Thoughts:

Another great episode for NXT UK, quite a lot set up for a few weeks from now. Coffey VS Rampage III and Aoife VS Jinny with Conners in a cage are going to make for some great, gritty grudge matches. I can’t be sure which way Coffey VS Rampage III goes but I would think Aoife wins to even things up with Jinny. We got good promos from both Moustache Mountain and Pretty Deadly to hype up next week’s tag title match. I said last week when this match was announced that I was leaning towards Moustache Mountain, for the reasons Bate said: Bate would be a UK Triple Crown and overall NXT Grand Slam, and Seven deserves to be one of the first superstars to have held NXT and NXT UK Tag Team Championships in his career.

Meiko and Stevie have a great little vignette and it makes sense Stevie gets the next title match. That’s going to be fun but Meiko will win. Dawn creeping up on Dani, I guess Dawn’s vignette last time was about her being done with Millie McKenzie rather than wanting more of her. Luna VS Dawn is going to be a good one, whenever it happens. FMW VS Wolfgang was a great opener, the constant slaps were a great reference back to last week, and it makes sense for Wolfgang to win to have momentum going into the Heritage Cup Tournament. Dragunov had another good promo to hype up the already incredibly exciting UK Championship match, and we got a good interaction between Huxley and Symbiosis.

Nina VS Amale was a very good match for how aggressive it was, and it was a bit of a surprise Amale won. But in a way, it fits Amale’s story of wanting the UK Women’s Division to shuffle around and freshen up already. Then the Heritage Cup Tournament was off to a great start with Dar VS Andrews. NXT UK is nailing making British Rounds matches a lot of fun to watch, and so is Dar himself. Teoman and Raja appearing was a curious detail, perhaps setting up “The Family” VS Subculture for a really good tag feud. Dar winning also makes sense in that he was in last year’s tournament, lost to A-Kid as A-Kid was on his way to winning the cup, and so perhaps now Dar is a shoe-in to win this year’s tournament.

I do hope Dar and Kenny Williams meet in the next round. No offense to Oliver Carter, but there is so much story to Dar and Williams meeting again, from when they were pals to when Dar turned on Williams. Williams is now a Heel just like Dar, and I’d love if their match was centered around, “Who can out Chancer the other?” while creating a new bond of heelish respect. Mostly because I’m still interested in a quartet of Dar, Williams, Sha Samuels and Jordan Devlin as just the most concentrated collection of ego and rowdy attitude in the WWE in a long time.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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