Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/17/22)
Is Becky Lynch sweatin’ Doudrop?

The Man prepares for the Royal Rumble!
“Doudrop” Piper Niven is coming for the Raw Women’s Championship, and she won’t be Manhandled so easily! How will Becky Lynch counter Piper’s power?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch; Piper & Becky win.
- Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
- Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Theory wins.
- Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley; No Contest.
- Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos; Omos wins.
- 8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs; The Street Profits & Mysterios win.
- Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins; Lashley wins, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
Becky Lynch heads to the ring!
Tulsa, Oklahoma, The Man has come ’round! Fans chant her name as she gets the mic, and she welcomes them to the Big Time! “Now we are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble, and the Raw Women’s Division has never been hotter. And whether you like to admit it or not, there’s only one person responsible for that, and that’s me.” Becky says it is so hot that there are stars from generations past, like Lita, Mickie James and the Bella Twins, all hoping that they can win the Rumble and challenge the #VanGOAT at WrestleMania. Face it, they need Becky because she makes stars.
Look no further than Doudrop. Becky has kindly given her the biggest opportunity of her life, a taste of the Big Time at one of the biggest events of the year. The people didn’t get her that! Piper Niven didn’t get it for herself. Becky did that! That is what Becky does! She makes people better, than she beats ’em! But Becky will admit that she admires Piper’s tenacity. She came from the rolling hills of Scotland and made a name for herself. Well no, someone else had to make up a name for her. So Becky will shoot it straight for “Doudou.” A doudrop will never be champion so long as The Man is still here.
But speaking of, here she comes! Piper storms right up to the ring, gets herself a mic and says she’s gonna tell Becky something. “You didn’t get me anything. I got myself this title match at Royal Rumble. But if it was really your plan to face me instead of Bianca, than it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Just make sure you stay well out of my way tonight.” Becky says she did get Piper that win last week, and if Piper just follows her lead, they’ll get a win here tonight. But here comes Bianca Belair! “Oh, Becky. You really out here spittin’ all this nonsense about being the GOAT, the greatEST of all time, but let me remind y’all that you can’t spell greatest without E S T.”
Bianca joins Piper and Becky in the ring as fans chant for “EST! EST!” Bianca reminds us SHE is the EST of WWE. And Doudrop, uh, okay. The only reason Piper is facing Becky is because Ms. Big Time was so scared of Bianca, she interfered in last week’s match. But girl, uh-uh. That’s just buyin’ time. Because Bianca is officially entering the Royal Rumble match! And it’s gonna be every woman for themselves, so if Bianca’s gotta throw out every 29 other women like she did last year, she’ll do it. Then she’ll go main event WrestleMania… again. And Bianca can go after whichever champion she wants, which could be Becky or Piper.
But now, Bianca’s tag partner, Liv Morgan, arrives! “Well, well, well, Bianca. We may be tag teaming tonight, but I am also officially entering myself in the Royal Rumble match. And that’s not all, that’s not all. Because in two weeks, I’m also the one winning it.” But that means Bianca will be one of the 29 she outlasts on the way to WrestleMania. But since we’re on the same page- Piper pretends to snore and then says this is boring. Everyone, shut up and ref, get in here! Piper wants to fight, but it’s Becky who riles up Liv and Bianca, and then uses Piper as a shield! Piper welcomes someone to bring it, but this starts after the break.
Chad Gable prepares a speech.
“Greetings and salutations…” Otis walks over, the valedictorian of The Alpha Academy. Will this graduation ceremony go off without a hitch?
Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch!
Raw returns and the bell rings, and Bianca dropkicks Piper! Piper stays up but Bianca whips. Piper blocks, reverses, but Bianca goes up tot ell Piper to kiss this. Then Bianca leaps over Piper, spins her around and reels her in, but Piper blocks the suplex. Piper suplexes, Bianca slips out and then dodges in the corner! Piper hits buckles, Bianca ROCKS Piper with a forearm, then runs in to ram Piper. Piper rebounds to run Bianca over! Piper runs, Becky tags in! Piper is annoyed with Becky but Becky says she’s got this. They argue, Becky turns around into a dropkick! Bianca kips up, tags Liv, Liv dodges Becky to DECK Piper and SHOTGUN Becky!
Becky is in a corner, Liv back body blocks, then SHINING WIZARDS! Liv whips, Becky reverses but Liv stops to back elbow. Liv goes up to leap and missile dropkick Becky down! Liv then brings Becky around, springboard CODE BREAKER! Cover, Piper breaks it! Bianca gets in to ROCK Piper, but she can’t lift Piper for the torture rack. Piper shoves Bianca into a corner and SPLASHES! Piper runs at Liv but Liv sends her out! Becky rolls Liv up, has feet on the ropes, TWO! Liv kicks low, KICKS again, then runs in, but Becky dodges! Liv elbows Becky again, but runs into a MANHANDLE SLAM! Cover, Piper breaks it?! But that was her own teammate!
Piper drags Becky out of the way, wants to cover, but she’s not legal! So Piper hurries back to her corner, tags herself in, and then runs to SPLASH Liv! Cover, Piper and Becky win!
Winners: “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch, by pinfall
Then Piper celebrates by giving Becky a VADER SEATED SENTON! Piper laughs as she looms over Becky, but will she have the last laugh at the Rumble?
Reggie and Dana Brooke talk with someone.
Reggie knows they’ve faced giants in their career, so can they give Reggie any advice when facing Omos tonight? The person he’s talking to is Edge! Edge thinks, and he tells Reggie that he can do things Edge can’t even comprehend. So he has a chance? Hell no! Beth Phoenix scolds Edge with a smack, and Edge says he still wishes Reggie luck. And Beth talks with Dana real quick. She’s seen Dana bust her butt for years here, so it’s so great Dana has a title. Dana thanks Beth for that, and hurries away to keep up with Reggie. Edge and Beth then see Damian Priest. They shake hands and hug and Priest is happy to see the Grit Couple.
Edge says he likes what he sees with Priest’s other side. Yeah, Priest’s other side is a bit edgy, but being serious here, Priest wants some ideas on the Rumble match. Edge has experience, having won two, one of which he won from starting first. There’s no better man to ask for pointers than Edge. Well cardio is one thing, but the main thing is to keep doing you. Priest’s style is working. Someone brings over a note for Beth, and it’s from Maryse. She wants to meet Beth 1v1, woman to woman. Edge says that’s suspicious. Beth is of course going to go but Edge is going to go with her. Beth agrees, and Edge says he and Priest can talk more later. What will the It Couple have planned for the Grit Couple?
Kevin Owens then walks over to ask Priest something. Kevin is looking forward to their match tonight. Really? Yeah, no lie! He’s looking- Oh, right, because Kevin’s so honest. Yes, especially having a good, clean match. Good competition, show off some technical prowess. But also that side, that nutso, vicious side. That side shouldn’t come out. Kevin is just hoping for them having a good, clean match. Kevin also has an announcement to make, so see you then. Good talk. Kevin and his tie hurries off, but will Priest keep Damian from tearing into the Prizefighter?
Kevin heads to the ring!
The KO Show is back, and tonight’s guest is Seth Freakin’ Rollins! What will Kevin ask his new best buddy? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Kevin welcomes us to his show. He wishes he could say it’s good to be here in Tulsa, but that would be a vile lie because this place is brutal. Don’t get mad at him telling the truth! And another truth is that Kevin has a very special guest. He is a man Kevin is proud to call his best friend, and after this man beats Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble like he has in a plethora of matches before, he will be called the Universal Champion. Please welcome Seth! FRRRRREAKIN’! ROLLINS~! Rollins makes his way out to the ring, fired up as always, but especially now after having evaded a Bloodline beatdown on SmackDown last Friday.
Rollins takes up a mic and Kevin lets Rollins decide if they sit or stand. Rollins wants to stand, so he and Kevin kick the chairs aside. Kevin thanks Rollins for accepting his invitation to be a guest. Kevin wants to tell Rollins that he admires Rollins so much. There is so much Kevin admires about Rollins. From the great suits, like this striped one. He looks like a million bucks! MAHVELOUS! And even more so, Kevin admires Rollins’ courage. Do people realize how much guts it took for Rollins to show up on SmackDown, into the lion’s den, get face to face with Roman, and berate him into realizing that “The Head of the Table” is only possible because Rollins set the table.
“Yes, yes, yes! Kev, you hit the nail on the head right there!” Friday got a little testy, but the truth is, Roman’s rattled. Roman’s nervous, and dare Rollins say, Roman is scared. He’s scared! You heard it here first! Roman took the low road taking shots at Rollins’ family, sending the Usos after him. But everyone saw that the Usos couldn’t get the job done. Rollins says Roman is playing checkers while Rollins is playing chess! If Roman keeps this up, winning at the Rumble will be like taking candy from a baby. A little baby Roman! And Rollins will turn the title from blue to red and bring the Universal Championship back to their show, Monday Night Raw!
That’s huge! When Rollins wins, he’s staying on Raw with Kevin! Yes, 100%! Incredible! Then that means Raw has the best champion! Raw wouldn’t need Lesnar or Lashley, they’d have Rollins! Kevin again hits the nail on the head. Get rid of Lesnar. Rollins has a match with Lashley tonight, they can get rid of Lashley tonight! Who knows? Kevin likes the sound of that. But he has something of his own to announce and it is “earth shattering.” It will change the face of the industry! Right here and now, Kevin is officially declaring for the Royal Rumble! Rollins says that IS earth shattering!
Kevin will win the Rumble, Rollins will beat Roman, and the WWE Universe will get the match they… well, not deserve. But they’ll get the biggest Mania main-event ever! SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS VS KEVIN FREAKIN’ OWENS! Rollins likes where Kevin’s head is at. But here comes Damian Priest! Rollins says this is his time and Kevin’s show! If Priest steps any closer, Kevin will kick his ass! Kevin wants Rollins to stop but Priest tells Rollins to shut up! They’re both delusional idiots! There is not one person on this planet that believes Rollins will win at the Rumble. And Kevin is just a liar, so he isn’t winning, either.
And if Kevin doesn’t want to see Damian, then don’t wake him up. Oh and by the way, Priest talked with Pearce and Sonya. Their match tonight? That starts NOW! Kevin is freaking out, but Rollins tries to encourage him. Will it not matter when the Archer of Infamy takes aim?
Veer Mahaan.
In the animal kingdom, the lion bides its time as it hunts its prey. Step by step, until it finally strikes, leaving only scraps for the hyenas. When will the Million Dollar Arm finally strike?
Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!
Raw returns and the bell rings. They tie up, Kevin waistlocks, but Priest pries free to wrench to a wristlock. Kevin rolls, headlocks, but Priest uses a chinbar to push Kevin back and power out. Kevin rams Priest, but then Kevin apologizes, Things speed up, Priest runs Kevin over with a shoulder! Priest runs in at the corner, but Kevin puts him on the apron! Kevin elbows Priest away, but Priest ROUNDHOUSES back! Priest steps in but into a SHOTGUN! Kevin stomps Priest at the ropes, lets off as the ref counts, then drags Priest to center for a SENTON! Kevin wraps on a chinlock and leans on Priest but fans rally up.
Priest fights up, priest the hold open but Kevin CLUBS him on the back. Kevin CHOPS, whips, but Priest reverses. Kevin KCISK back, CHOPS again, and CHOPS! Priest snarls, but Kevin apologizes again. This is just good, clean wrestling! Priest cools off, but then he fires off fast hands! WHEEL KICK! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest runs in but Kevin bails out. Fans boo, Priest keeps cool, but then Priest goes out the side. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps, into a SUPERKICK! Kevin gets back in the ring to refresh the count, then FROG SPLASHES off the apron! Kevin roars while Priest sputters! Kevin drags Priest up and in as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Priest CLOBBERS Kevin! Fans fire up as Priest aims from a corner, and Priest throws haymakers! Priest fires off KICK after KICK, then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin rebounds, into a FLAPJACK! Priest runs at Kevin in the corner, for a big back elbow! Priest reels Kevin in, but Kevin wrenches out to ROCK Priest! Kevin whips, Priest rebounds to LARIAT! Priest gets Kevin up for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest is annoyed but he drags Kevin up. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, hoists him up top in the corner and ROCKS him again! Priest climbs up, but Kevin hits back!
Priest and Kevin brawl, Priest gets the edge. Priest brings Kevin up, but Kevin blocks the superplex! Kevin throws body shots, and even a headbutt! Kevin headbutts again, Priest falls down! Kevin adjusts, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin thinks of what he has to do now. Kevin aims, kicks but no stunner! Kevin ducks the heel kick, tries gain, but Priest dragon sleepers! But Kevin slips free to pop Priest up, SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives again and Kevin is shocked! Fans rally up, Kevin aims, kicks, but Priest blocks to spin and ROUNDHOUSE! Kevin wobbles into a choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!!
Priest is shocked that Kevin survives! Kevin rolls away to a corner but Priest follows. Priest throws hands, whips Kevin corner to corner, but Kevin falls, clutching his leg. The ref checks on Kevin, Kevin flounders up saying it’s cramping up. The ref wants a medic to check this, fans boo but Priest isn’t sure what to make of this. But then Kevin suckers him in for a STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall
Priest was right about Kevin being a liar! But now, Kevin could also be a contender! Will Kevin add the US Championship to his Road to WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Nikki A.S.H.
What is her plan heading into tonight’s match with former tag partner, Rhea Ripley? Nikki tells Sarah that this is no different than any other match. It is clear to Nikki now that she stands on her own, and she couldn’t feel any better. Rhea should be down and out, completely mortified after being proven the friend Nikki didn’t think she was. But Nikki, you were the one who attacked Rhea- Sarah, you need to get your facts straight! Rhea is the one who broke up the team. Rhea is the one who decided to take their friendship and flush it! She is the villain, not Nikki! And Nikki is the closest thing that the people of Tulsa will ever have to a real hero. She will be the People’s Hero.
And sometimes, heroes have to do things that regular people don’t understand. After tonight, Rhea will realize that she needs a superhero, whether she likes it or not. Nikki strikes her superhero pose and walks away, but will Rhea’s brutality smack some sense into her?
The Alpha Academy heads to the ring.
Pomp & Circumstance plays because today is Otis’ graduation! Will the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions be celebrating on top of their big title victory from last week?
Raw returns and Gable is at the podium. “Greetings and salutations my fellow colleagues and… Oh who am I kidding? I don’t have any colleagues here, considering I’m an Olympian with a Master’s Degree that did it with an immaculate 4.0 GPA! Thank you! Don’t do that. Don’t boo education. That’s gross, everybody.” But it makes sense, since the odds of anyone in Oklahoma having a Master’s, let alone graduating high school, are slim to none! Now shoosh! Tonight is about celebrating. Not just an institution but an individual. Gable could go on and on about himself, because his list is long.
But tonight is about a man who overcame the odds. An absolute tree trunk in the ring and a great student in the classroom. Gable’s prized pupil, his protégé, his number one guy, OTIS! Gable’s so proud. Last week, Otis applied the lessons and passed his final exam by decimating the moronic RKBRO and claimed the Academy’s rightful spot as tag team champions! So tonight, it is Gable’s honor and pleasure- Fans chant with “RKBRO! RKBRO!” They’re trying to have a ceremony for Otis! Gable presents to Otis, who has no last name anymore, the highest graduating honors from the Alpha Academy! The music plays again as they hug it out.
Gable says Otis has the floor. Look at that face! Otis thanks Chad, and says Gable has helped him reach his full potential. But now he has a warning: expect pure carnage for anyone who messes with the titles! They ain’t stopping, and they ain’t ever gonna stop! But here comes Matt Riddle! The Bro is in his own graduation gown, but it has mismatched sleeves… Riddle asks, “What’s up, bros? Big O, you’re looking pretty, pretty tight. And you guys don’t even wanna know what I had to get this graduation gown on time.” But when he got invited to this ceremony, he knew he had to make a very special speech.
Riddle brings out his speech, written on a napkin from this morning’s breakfast buffet. “Fellow graduates and Tulsinians. IT felt like just last week, Randy and I were the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions. We were livin’ on the edge, drivin’ with the top down, lettin’ the wind blow through our hair. We were just a couple o’ young, wild stallions runnin’ free. But today is graduation day. And our lives will change forever. Randy would always say, ‘Life comes at ya pretty fast.'” Gable stops him there, he has no idea what he’s going on about. Riddle was NOT invited to this. And Oklahoma can’t afford to lose another braincell, so just be on your way.
Riddle has “Gablestiltskin” take it easy. Riddle wants to say how proud he is of them. Them and their astronomical necks. See? He can use big words, too, Chad! Gable says Riddle is an idiot. He already ruined Otis’ night, so get to the point. RKBRO wants a rematch? Problem is, Riddle probably can’t even define the word rematch. Riddle so can! A rematch is… uh… when you have to light something up twice! Like a candle! But hey, a rematch sounds like a pretty sick idea. Fans wanna see it! Gable knew it. No wonder Orton left Riddle high and dry. Where even is he? Riddle unzips his gown to show off his “Hey Raaaandy” shirt.
Gable and Otis will give them a rematch, under one condition: they have to prove their mental aptitude in an Alpha Academy Academic Challenge! Otis suddenly looks worried. TO spell it out, it’s Riddle & Randy VS the Academy to prove the smarter team! Because we already saw who the physically dominant team is! Whoa, an academic challenge? Like Billy Madison? Or more like Wheel of Fortune? Riddle loves spinning that wheel, and maybe he and Otis could run in a giant hamster wheel. Gable kinda looks like a jacked hamster, but with three times the brains. Otis is furious and throws off his gown! Riddle wants Otis to back it up and cool off.
Otis storms up the ramp, barking about this being his night! But Orton gets in the ring to RKO Gable!! And then Riddle trips up Otis on the apron! RKBRO got one over on the Academy, and now Orton wears one of the red graduation gowns! Orton gets the mic to then tell the Academy, “We accept!” Will Riddle & Orton get PhDs in kicking the Academy’s asses?
Austin Theory visits Vince McMahon.
Theory thanks Vince for the rematch with Finn Balor. But uh, what’s Vince watching on his TV? It was the previous match, where Finn won. Oh… Theory knows he lost, but then he beat the hell outta Finn and nearly ended his career. In fact, it was like a half victory. No such thing. So tonight, Theory needs to beat Finn and beat him up. If Theory doesn’t, Vince will get someone to drag Theory to this office and Vince will beat Theory up! Smash him all over, and by the time he’s finished, it’ll just be blood, snot and broken teeth. Then Vince will take a selfie with that. And send it to Mama Theory! Oh… Theory has been warned, will he make good on this rematch?
WWE honors Martin Luther King Jr.
“Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. That all men would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That dream of MLK’s, where we judge not by the color of skin but by character, is still alive. We will all reach the Promised Land together.
Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!
Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The Prince is back after being out a month, will he make Theory pay for every minute he’s missed? The bell rings, they circle and tie up, and Theory puts Finn on ropes. The ref counts, Theory lets off but Finn blocks the cheap shot to kick and headlock! Finn thrashes to grind Theory down, Theory powers out but Finn ducks and dodges, only for Theory to CLOBBER him with an elbow! Theory drags Finn out of the ring to smack off the apron! And then whip him into barriers! Theory goes into the ring and the ring count climbs. Finn stands but Theory goes out after him.
Theory whips, Finn reverses, and Theory hits barriers! Finn then hits a SLINGBLADE! Theory writhes, the count is rising, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Finn rallies, trips and DOUBLE STOMPS Theory down! Theory goes to a corner, Finn runs in and CHOPS! Finn whips Theory corner to corner, Theory reverse but Finn reverses back, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO! Finn snarls, Theory crawl to ropes and Finn KICKS him out of the ring! Finn drags Theory up but Theory HOTSHOTS! Theory somersaults in, but into a SLINGBLADE! Finn then runs, into a LARIAT from Theory! Theory hauls Finn up to FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Fireman’s carry, A T- NO! Finn makes it a roll up, TWO! Theory and Finn get up, and Finn goes to the apron. Finn shoulders into Theory, GAMANGIRIS, then climbs up!
But Theory avoids the Coup De Grace to somersault SHOTGUN! Fireman’s carry, A T L!! Cover, Theory wins!
Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall
Theory saves himself from Vince’s wrath, and he gets his victory selfie. But to make good on what Vince told him, Theory fires off fists! Theory then drags Finn up, fireman’s carries again, for another A T L! Theory tells Finn to expect the unexpected. But will Finn find a way to teach Theory and Mr. McMahon respect for The Prince?
Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley!
Before the match, Rhea is interviewed backstage. How does she respond to Nikki saying it was Rhea who ruined the relationship? Rhea says she never intended for this to hurt their friendship. But Nikki made up her mind. Rhea isn’t one to forgive very easily, so what kind of hero attacks a friend? If Rhea’s the villain here, than Nikki’s more delirious than Rhea thought. It’s time to remind everyone who Rhea Ripley is. Is Nikki in for a Nightmare tonight?
Raw returns and Nikki makes her entrance, but then so do Queen Zelina Vega and Carmella. Mella says, “Hear ye, hear ye, Tulsa. The Most Beautiful Woman in All of WWE and Your Queen have arrived to tell everyone in this dusty arena that everything we predicted about Nikki A.S.H. has come true.” Zelina’s word is absolute, and therefore she is correct by default. Not only is she a beloved queen, but also a fairy godmother. Rhea would never have been rid of Nikki without their little push. Rhea should be thanking them! Because they’ve been telling Rhea for weeks that if she stuck with an Almost Superhero, she’d never be nothing more than an almost threat.
But seems things are too late. Rhea doesn’t look like anything more than a low class loser. Without Nikki as her security blanket, does Rhea have what it takes? As Zelina’s said, you’re either the most powerful women in the room, or you’re nothing. Zelina is queen, but Rhea will be standing there, covered in trash, looking for someone to leech off of. Rhea doesn’t have the guts to be champion all on her own. Rhea tells them to bring it, then, but Nikki goes after Rhea! The ref wants Nikki to let off, but Nikki keeps hammering Rhea down! Rhea hits back but Nikki throws Rhea down! Nikki is seething, and then she drags Rhea up. Rhea kicks Nikki away but Nikki throws her out!
Nikki WRECKS Rhea with a dropkick, then goes out to RAM her into steel steps! The Almost Superhero leaves Rhea down, but the match is called off. Will Rhea get right? Or will she get revenge?
Dana Brooke and Reggie regroup backstage.
What did they talk about? Staying low and staying mobile. That’s right! Reggie is faster, stronger and amazing! Use Omos’ size against him, tire him out, and go for the legs. Meanwhile, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Tamina, and a referee are watching while eating popcorn. Dana says Reggie can be vicious and ruthless while also super athletic. Reggie says, “Who am I kidding?” He ran into Omos full speed and bounced off him! Dana says Reggie is the most capable man she knows. Just stay away from him. But even Dana looks worried. Truth says Dana must really hate Reggie. She just told him to get got! Will Reggie even survive his run-in with Omos?
Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos!
Raw returns and Reggie makes his entrance. Dana is cheering him on, but she still looks very worried. Omos points out the clear height difference, and then he roars! Even that scares Reggie! But then here come the 24/7 Championship hunters! Dana runs into the ring, scoots under Omos and out the other side. Omos catches Tozawa, TOSSES him out, then CLOBBERS Truth! Tamina stares Omos down and Reggie climbs the corner. Tamina goes around Omos, the bell rings, and Reggie leaps! Into Omos’ arms! Omos uses both hands for the MOUNTAIN TOSS! Omos says it’s that easy. Cover, Omos wins.
Winner: Omos, by pinfall
Omos didn’t break a sweat with that one! Will the colossus of Raw continue to dominate until he’s on top of the world?
Maryse heads to the ring!
As her note said, she is here to talk with Beth face-to-face. But will that all this be? Or do Miz & Mrs. have a plan for the Glamazon? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Maryse has a mic to say, “Bonsoir (good evening), Tulsa.” She assures us The Miz couldn’t make it. He has a very big mouth and likes to agree to things without asking her first, so tonight, she is cleaning up his mess. She then asks Beth to come out alone so they can do this right. Woman to woman, wife to wife and mother to mother, Maryse wants to talk. Beth makes her entrance, but Edge still follows her out. Maryse wants Edge to wait on the ramp until they’ve had this conversation. There aren’t many ways to put this, but the match at the Rumble, it has to be canceled. Uh, okay. This oughta be good, so Beth is all ears.
Maryse says she doesn’t want it, surely Beth doesn’t want it, and the fans don’t want it! Fans boo, they DO want it. Maryse is trying to have a heartfelt moment, guys. Really? Really? Really? Maryse is sure sounding like Miz here… Maryse says she has the mic, so she can be louder than everyone here. It doesn’t matter what you think! Now she’s The Rock? But anyway, Maryse wants Beth to listen. They’re from the same generation in WWE. They fought together. Remember those two minute matches? Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Maryse asks if they’re done.
But Beth, c’mon. They fought together and made the Women’s Division what it is today! They’re great at what they do! Just look at them! Women nowadays main event WrestleMania thanks to these two! So if anything, Maryse thinks that they should be on the same team. They should be a unit! Friends! Even their daughters can be friends! They can have play dates, dinners, or even just a coffee. Beth wants Maryse to know that she speaks for everyone here when she says, “Just shut up!” Seriously? BFF’s? Playdates? Is anyone buying this? NOPE! So that means Maryse takes acting lessons from The Miz.
Beth boils it down to a simple answer: the match is NOT off. Beth is NOT missing the chance to tag team with her husband for the first time ever. And she is NOT missing the chance to Glam Slam Maryse’s ass through the canvas! In fact, why not give the fans a preview? Beth storms up to the ring but Maryse stays put. Wait, Miz attacks Edge at the ramp! But Edge DECKS Miz! Maryse really was lying about Miz being at home! But then Maryse CLOBBERS Beth with her purse! What’s in that bag?! Maryse and Miz decide to show us: it was a BRICK! A literal BRICK! Maryse tosses her hair back and celebrates with The Miz. But will Edge and Beth only look to break The It Couple for that one?
The Street Profits are fired up backstage!
Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford have a dream! The dream is that they have a plan and will execute it and win! The best part is, they do it in Tulsa, Oklahoma~! YESSIR! All the bodies in the ring, it’ll be like a mini Rumble. Which is great cuz the Profits were the first to declare for this year’s Rumble! Their first one, tossin’ bodies! But will Ford throw Dawkins? Rey Mysterio & Dom walk over to say not to worry. They’re a team tonight, and they’ll also be in the Rumble. Rey has to get this off his chest: Los Mysterios will outlast 28 other men in the Rumble. And then, not only will they throw those guys out, they’ll take the Mysterio name back to the Mania main event!
Okay, all due respect, that’s only if the Profits don’t make it there first. Because the Profits are up! And WE WANT THE SMOKE! Will these four burn it down to then light it up on the Road to WrestleMania?
8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs!
Raw returns and the Dawgs make their entrance. Then the Pride of Nigeria and his right hand man make their entrance. Teams sort out, Dolph Ziggler starts against Dom. They tie up, Dom waistlocks but Ziggler elbows free. Ziggler talks trash, runs, but Dom follows to RANA! Dom runs at Ziggler in the corner but Ziggler CLOBBERS Dom! Tag to Robert Roode and he stomps Dom. Roode drags Dom up, suplexes, but Dom knees free! Dom kicks low, tags Rey, and Rey gets a boost to RANA! Rey whips, Roode reverses but Rey dodges and tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Rey runs in but Roode puts him on the apron. Rey DECKS Roode, climbs, and leaps, but the rana is blocked
Roode brings Rey up, but Rey RANAS Roode out of the ring! Ziggler and Dom get in, Dom whips but Ziggler throws Dom up and out! Ford and Dawkins DROPKCIK Ziggler out! All eight men are on the outside now and shouting, but the ref keeps the peace while Raw goes to break!
Raw returns, Roode tags Ziggler and the Dawgs double whip Rey to double elbow him down. Then the Dawgs hit Rey’s corner to knock everyone down! Fans boo but Ziggler drags Rey over to tag Apollo. Apollo hits a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ziggler is upset on Apollo’s behalf, but Apollo decides he’ll finish it now. Apollo gets Rey up, trophy lifts, but Rey fights free to a DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Dawks is back! Hot tag to the Curse of Greatness! And he rallies on everyone! He hurdles Apollo to hit a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Roode runs into an EXPLODER! Ziggler runs into an EXPLODER!
Dawkins gives Apollo a CYCLONE SPLASH, then the SILENCER! But Azeez gets in to break the cover! Ford returns to ENZIGURI Azeez out! The Dawgs TOSS Ford out! But the Mysterios dropkick the Dawgs onto the ropes! STEREO 619’s! Dom goes up and out to LEAP at Azeez! But Azeez catches him! Rey jumps to add on, the Mysterios take out Azeez! But Apollo rolls Dawkins up! TWO, and pop-up for SKY HIGH! Tag to Ford, he’s up top! FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, the Profits & Mysterios win!
Winners: The Street Profits & The Mysterios, by pinfall
Ford was five-star again with that splash, but then the Mysterios decide to dump the Profits out! Rey says that’s nothing personal, just a sample of the Rumble. And then he dumps Dom out! The son’s got a lot to learn still. But will Dom & Rey look to be in that final handful at the Rumble to put their name back on the WrestleMania marquee?
WWE looks at the parallels of Lashley and Lesnar.
“Forge: to form by heating and hammering; to beat into shape.” Great warriors are born at the forge, shaped by the heat of the fire and tried in the brutality of combat. This is the beginning of two such warriors. “The great plains often invoke idyllic dreams of an unending cascades of crops and green pastures. But in winter, these dreams are overtaken by the harsh reality of desolation and decay. It is here that the heart of a Beast was forged, and a Conqueror was born.” Brock Lesnar is a two-time NCAA All American with over 100 victories, and the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion. And just five months after his WWE debut, The Next Big Thing was WWE Champion.
After ravaging every challenger in the WWE, the Beast would go to the UFC, and in just three fights, he’d reign supreme as the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Then upon returning to the WWE, Lesnar’s path of devastation continued. He took 16-time WWE Champion John Cena to Suplex City, ended The Undertaker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak, and cemented his dominance as a three-time Universal and six-time World Champion. He is a Beast without limits, without remorse, and without fear.
“Discipline. Restraint. Control. It is from these fires that the All Mighty was forged. Son of a US Army drill sergeant, Bobby Lashley learned at an early age that only by rigorously harnessing his natural ability that he would the greatness that he sought.” A three-time NAIA wrestling champion, Lashley would follow his father’s footsteps into the Army, and he honed his craft onto his way to winning gold in the Armed Forces Championship. Lashley would emerge in WWE as a peak physical specimen, unleashing a torrent of physical power and ferocity. But while he won gold, Lashley couldn’t quite find that next level.
A sojourn into MMA ignited the fires and Lashley had a 15-2 record. Then he’d return to the WWE and he would unleash havoc on opponent after opponent with his arsenal of high impact moves, headlined by the Hurt Lock full nelson. He would become United States Champion, Intercontinental Champion, and ultimately, WWE World Champion. Now, Lashley is ready for the one challenge that eluded him. For 20 years, Lashley believes Lesnar was ducking him. But Lesnar is confident that if they’d met before, Lesnar would’ve already beaten him. But the Royal Rumble will see the champion Beast collide with an All Mighty challenger.
These paths have finally crossed. Two warriors, forged in flame, battle and gold, fight for the ultimate prize. Only one emerges THE WWE World Champion. Will the ring even stay standing as these wage war?
The Miz & Maryse are heading out.
Kevin Patrick stops them to ask about that vicious attack. Miz says it took ONE SHOT to take down the Glamazon! Now Beth needs medical attention! Now the Grit Couple is the SH- Maryse stops Miz there. The girls are watching at home. Oh, right. Daddy loves ya, girls! And Miz loves Mommy. He is the best husband ever, because he remembered that Maryse’s birthday is next week! So before saying bonny nut- No, no, it’s bonne nuit. The T is silent. Right, bonne nuit to the Grit Couple, Miz is going to throw the most expensive, extravagant and amazing birthday party that anyone has ever seen, because Miz loves Maryse.
Nothing, especially not Edge & Beth, is stronger than their love. These two make-out right in front of us… But will announcing the birthday party here come back to bite the It Couple?
Alexa Bliss has another therapy session.
She and her therapist sit quietly a moment before he welcomes her back. He’s happy to say that there are less breakable things here in the office. She isn’t sure about that. But these sessions will continue. He will not tolerate a repeat of last week, though. He does apologize for showing her such a sensitive subject, but he had to know where she stood psychological. He promises her that she will be on the road to recovery. Neat. Now, let’s do word association. Okay, sure. How does she feel about the word, “Trust.” “Lily.” Friend? Lily. Home? Lily. Doll… Lily. Imaginary. Alexa gets up out of her seat and glares at him. Okay, time’s up.
The doc bolts but Alexa cools off. She sits back down, looks around the room, but stays quiet. Will Alexa ever get over her twistedly tragic past?
Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins!
The Rocky Mountain Machine is ready to wreck everything, including Brock Lesnar. Meanwhile, The Visionary is preparing to repeat history and defeat Roman Reigns once again. But who will have some major momentum on their side going towards those titanic title matches? The main event of top championship challengers begins after the break!
Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and Lashley glares while Rollins smirks. The two circle, fans rally up, and the two tie up. Rollins headlocks, Lashley powers up to power out, but Rollins duck sand dodges. Lashley hurdles then runs Rollins over! Fans cheer as Lashley mocks Rollins’ pose. The two reset, circle and tie up again. Rollins waistlocks, Lashley uses ropes to buck Rollins away, but Rollins hurdles and drops to then go perpendicular, SLINGBLADE! Rollins kicks, reels Lashley in, but Lashley back drops free! Lashley stalks Rollins, but Rollins fights the full nelson! Rollins drops to KICK Lashley, then he dumps Lashley out!
Rollins builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit but Lashley stays up! Rollins goes back in, builds speed again, DIVES, but into a clinch! OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley roars and Rollins flounders while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Rollins has Lashley down now! Rollins drags Lashley to a corner to SLAM a leg against the post! Rollins SLAMS the leg again, talks trash to MVP, then gets in as the ring count reaches 5 of 10. Rollins drags Lashley up, puts the bad leg in the ropes, pulls until the ref counts, then dropkicks the leg! Lashley falls, Rollins drags him to center and steps through to drop a leg on the knee! Lashley snarls and fans rally up. MVP coaches Lashley, but Rollins drops another leg on the bad knee! And then another! Rollins has the toehold, ties up the legs, but Lashley fights, only for Rollins to still get the Indian Deathlock!
Rollins keeps Lashley’s hands away while Lashley endures the hold. Rollins SLAPS Lashley in the side, but Lashley pulls hair! The ref reprimands, Lashley lets go but he punches Rollins! Rollins lets the legs free, but then he gets the bad one for a DRAGON SCREW! And into a HALF CRAB! Lashley endures, even as Rollins sits deep! Lashley powers up, fans rally up, and Lashley turns, only for Rollins to stomp the leg! Rollins has the Half Crab again! MVP coaches Lashley more but Rollins talks trash on “Bob.” Lashley fights up, turns things over, and he boots Rollins away! Rollins falls out of the ring but he’s right back in! Lashley avoids the stomp for a COMPLETE SHOT!
MVP says that’s the All Mighty Lashley he knows! Lashley grits his teeth and pushes up, just as Rollins also sits up. Rollins turns around into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then another! Lashley runs in at the corner, to RAM into Rollins! Lashley turns Rollins around, NECKBREAKER! Lashley fires up and Tulsa fires up with him! Lashley gets Rollins up, suplexes, but Rollins fights free! Lashley kicks low to gut wrench, DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives but MVP coaches Lashley to keep going. Lashley aims from a corner, Rollins rises, Lashley runs in, into a KNEE! Rollins hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Then runs, but into a scoop!
Rollins slips out, shoves Lashley into buckles, then kicks low! Rollins underhooks the arms, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?! Lashley survives but Rollins is too tired to be shocked! Fans rally behind Lashley but Rollins stands. Rollins goes to a corner, climbs up top, but Lashley gets him with a choke grip! Lashley climbs up, but Rollins fights with elbows! But Lashley clinches, for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Rollins goes flying to the other side of the ring! Lashley gets back to a corner but the Hurt Business go after him!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by disqualification
Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin mug Lashley but Lashley fights back! That’s still 2v1, and they POST him! Alexander & Benjamin shout that he’s brought this upon himself, and then the POST Lashley again! They glare at MVP but then drag Lashley back up. But Lashley DOUBLE SUPLEXES them instead! COMPLETE SHOT for Benjamin! Fireman’s carry and the POST for Alexander! Lashley SPEARS Benjamin through barriers! Rollins is shocked at seeing the carnage, but the USOS run out from the crowd! Rollins turns around, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Jimmy & Jey make up for missing the target on SmackDown!
Rollins lost the match and then got got! Will he stand a chance of dethroning the Head of the Table if the Usos can get him on his show? As for Lashley, will he be able to go for the gold if he has his former henchmen coming after him?
My Thoughts:
This was a decent episode, but with really glaring low points. Does Vince just hate Women’s Wrestling again? Why is it that the matches tonight were basically filler to move the story along? Nikki VS Rhea being No Contest was whatever since it at least went with story. But that opening tag match had Becky, Piper, Bianca and Liv, all of which are basically the stars of the Raw Women’s Division. Yet Vince couldn’t be bothered to give that match more than a bathroom break amount of time! I suppose because it was Piper ending it all very quickly, we’re supposed to think Piper is that great, but honestly it just hurt all four women. If Bianca was taken out by just a corner splash, how is she to win the Rumble?
Finn VS Theory 2 was also way too short. I get there was a commercial break in the middle but that just makes it worse. Theory winning was clean also a shame, and not because of Vince’s weird threat to him. I get that Theory needed to win to make a feud out of this, but why not dirty it up a little? When is Finn going to get a chance to comment on how Theory is Vince’s pet project and all that? This whole thing is just hurting my brain. And only a little less than the Veer Mahaan videos coming back. He better show up in the Rumble. And this week’s Alexa therapy session was filler. It was just her associating everything with Lily but not even in a more compelling way than last week’s “triggered Alexa” vignette.
We got a good 8 Man Tag but it was also on the short side. It was pretty standard Rumble season stuff for Rey & Dom to dump the Profits out, but Rey dumping Dom was a bit of a surprise. Maybe Dom will do the same during the Rumble on Rey? I did appreciate them weaving three backstage segments into one, going from Reggie wanting advice from Edge but basically striking out, and then Edge talking with Priest and then Priest talking with Kevin. If Dana still has the 24/7 title come the Women’s Rumble, can that title end up hot potato’d around to end up on someone from SmackDown? Or does Fox just hate that title?
Omos of course destroyed Reggie, but I almost thought he was going to somehow end up 24/7 champion. That’d probably put the end to the title, though, because who would even try to take it from him? Kevin had a very good match with Priest, and his win definitely puts him in line for the US Championship, but who knows if Kevin will even go for it with him so closely connected to Rollins in their stories. And we got a good promo segment out of Maryse and Beth. But Maryse bringing up the Diva Era short matches and yet we got a short women’s match here, the irony clearly goes over Vince’s thick head. That brick in the purse, though. And telegraphing the birthday stuff for next week, Maryse’s cake is definitely going into someone’s face.
The Alpha Academy graduation was a pretty good segment. I am sure Riddle was referencing something but I can’t place it. I can’t believe they’re kayfabing that Otis never had the last name “Dozovic.” That’s taking Vince’s love of editing names to a new, dumber level. But I loved the face Otis made when Gable said they were going to have a tag team academic challenge. He’s going to end up the weak link for his team since this graduation was based on his in-ring skills. The Lesnar Lashley vignette was well made, but a rather melodramatic theme in the narration. After the string of short matches, it just felt like WWE trying too hard to be cinematic and not enough about action.
Lashley VS Rollins was great stuff, until the Hurt Business “ruined” things. It just keeps reminding us of how flippant they’ve been with that faction’s story. They work together against Goldberg but then not together against Lesnar, and now the Hurt Business is just being thrown at Lashley in an attempt to build Lashley as brutal and dominant without it being in the matches. The Usos getting the drop on Rollins was pretty good, though, since that carries over from SmackDown. If they’d let it just be the Usos trying to mess with Rollins, I think things would’ve felt a bit better.
My Score: 8/10
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The American Nightmare is in Scotland!
After confronting a “whiny” John Cena in Brussels, Belgium, Cody Rhodes is now in Glasgow, Scotland! Will there be another Raw encounter between champion and challenger?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso VS A-Town Down Under; The Usos win.
- WWE Women’s Intercontinental Championship: Lyra Valkyria VS Raquel Rodriguez w/ Liv Morgan; Lyra wins and retains the title.
- Dragon Lee VS Chad Gable; changed to…
- Dragon Lee VS El Grande Americano; Grande wins.
- WWE Intercontinental Championship: Bron Breakker VS PENTA; Bron wins, by disqualification, and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
JOHN CENA IS HERE!
Glasgow erupts with boos just like Brussels did last week, and then “JOHN CENA SUCKS~!” Cena wears the custom Scotland “The Last Time is Now” merchandise, and fans show their Cody Rhodes signs. Cena goes to the ring, grabs a mic, and the fans boo again. Cena hears those boos, and then says, “Is something on your mind? Seems like you have something you want to say to me.” The fans keep booing, and there’s still dueling even now. Cena says yeah, they’re ready to do their worst tonight, aren’t they? It’s because they finally understand what is going on. Cena has turned the spotlight onto the fans, and now they know that he can pick apart any one of these random ticket holders to shreds!
Cena knows they know that no one is safe! Cena put a clueless kid on blast! His poor, pathetic face was everywhere! WWE posted it! And you all loved it. The fans tell Cena off, and Cena just smiles. Cena says who is better: him, the one guy who actually tells the truth; or all the fans, whose collectively best idea is to use profanity! The fans are the ones who loved to watch and rewatch and meme up a poor, defenseless kid getting destroyed! Cena doesn’t need to single out anyone here, because they are ALL horrible people! No, tonight, the fans get to find out how Cena makes them pay for the abuse they have put him through.
For 25 YEARS, Cena has listened to their lies and their noise! But he didn’t waste that time being mean, he paid attention. Fans tell Cena to STFU, and Cena says, “You make this so easy. While you were chanting profanity at the top of your lungs, I’ve been paying attention. I’ve been learning from you, quizzing you, studying you, testing you, prodding you, rewarding you for playing along with your stupid, curse ridden nursery rhymes. And in doing so, you have told me every single thing about your. You know nothing about me, I know more about you than you.” The fans boo, but Cena says the truth is, “Your life is sad!
“Because this is the best it’s gonna get. This is all you have! But to me, you have been nothing more than an experiment. You have been rats in a cage. Oh, you don’t believe me? Pick out any moment in my career, and I’ll tell you what I learned from you. When I bled, you thought I was tough. When I spoke, you were inspired. When I was edgy, you were excited. When I was vanilla, you were bored. When I was loyal, you were loved. When I was selfish, you were disrespected. When I speak in rhythmic tones, you say, ‘What.’ You make this so, so simple. You will always tell me everything about yourselves, because you so desperately want to matter.
“And the most important thing you ever told me was in April 2005. It was the day I gave you my greatest idea. I gave you the WWE Spinner Championship! And just like right now, you ate me alive. All you have to do is google, ‘Negative comments about the spinner belt.’ You all told me loud and clear how stupid I was, because I changed your championship into a toy, and the championship is not a toy. The championship is a symbol of the center of all this, and the toy belt I made for you disrespected tradition and disrespected your legacy. Listen closely, because that was the biggest mistake you ever made.
“In that one single moment, you were vulnerable enough to tell me what means the most to you in this life. And now that I know that… I am going to ruin wrestling. I am going to ruin wrestling for every fan, for every wrestler, for everyone. At WrestleMania, I make history by winning a 17th (world) championship. And I finally force you to forget the name of the fun machine, jet-flying WOO~, Ric Flair. You will forever say the name ‘John Cena.’ But even worse… I’m going to win that championship, the center of every superstar of this entire business, of every fan in this building, I will win that championship and retire with it. I am taking it home with me!
“And leaving all of you to create a brand new toy belt, because the real one comes home with me! I will be the LAST REAL CHAMPION in WWE! Revenge is best served cold, and I pay you back by ripping your heart out and forcing you to watch as I just walk away with your memories, and your traditions, and your dreams, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!” But wait! Here comes Cody Rhodes! Glasgow fires up and sings along, “WHOA~ OH!” Cody gets his pyro, high-fives the fans, and joins Cena in the ring. Cody grabs his own mic, the fans cheer, and Cena just glares the entire time. Cody raises the belt and the fans cheer again.
The fans sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” Cody then lifts the mic to say, “I’m sorry, what’d you say? You said you were going to take this away from them? Don’t you think you need to take it away from me first? Admittedly, I made a mistake last week. I looked at you, I talked about Old John, I talked about New John, I didn’t look hard enough. Hearing it, seeing it now, you are clearly sincere, you are clearly angry, and you are clearly willing. Perhaps you’re the most dangerous John Cena has ever been. But you have made a massive mistake. And the mistake was not hitting me upside the head with this at Elimination Chamber.
“Oh, no, no. The mistake was saying what you just said in front of these lovely people while I was in the building!” The fans cheer and sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” Cody asks Cena if all that bothers him. Because it doesn’t bother Cody. What bothers Cody is that he didn’t unpack their history. But Cena should know well enough just how hard Cody fought just to hold this title ONE time, just to validate ONE name! And if Cody understands Cena right, Cena is saying that the timeline of all pro-wrestling hangs in the balance because of Cena’s vanity? Cena wants the title, right? He wants to take it?
Cody sets the belt down on the mat, and says he’ll give Cena that chance right now. The fans fire up as Cody takes off the tie, and dares Cena to take it! The mics drop, Cena prepares to draw as the two square up, but then Cena steps back. The fans boo as Cena leaves, not giving Cody the satisfaction of doing things his way. Cody picks up his mic again and shouts, “JOHN!” Cena turns around, comes back down the ramp, and the fans cheer as Cody dares him to bring it! Cody’s jacket comes off now, the fans fire up more, but Cena shakes his head and leaves again. Cody tells Cena, “one thing, John. I cannot let you do it. I cannot have that on my conscience.
“Right now, I need you to see me, I need you to see all of them, and I need you to understand that your psychotic need to take this does not outweigh OUR right to keep it!” The fans cheer that! Cody says the champ is no longer standing there, the champ is standing in the center of this ring! And Cena walking away empty handed, that is how he walks away from WrestleMania, and that is how he walks away from the WWE! The fans cheer as Cody says the champ is here! But will Cena use whatever means he has to in order to carve his name into eternity?
Jey Uso & ??? VS A-Town Down Under!
Main Event Jey put Austin Theory away so fast, you’d blink and miss it. Theory & Waller want revenge, but who’s joining Jey tonight? Why none other than JIMMY Uso! It’s an Uso Reunion in Glasgow, will they put Theory & Waller in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will they suffer the Grayson Waller Effect #AllDay?
While we get an accidental non-ad break for the YEETing, we also get ATDU making their entrance. And after a quick self-plug for the WWE original series, Stephanie’s Places, the teams sort out. Theory starts against Jey for revenge from last week. They tie up, Jey headlocks, but Theory powers up and out. Jey runs Theory over, the fans fire up, and Jey says “YEET!” Jey runs, Theory stays low to then hurdle, but Jey stops the hip toss! Jey then LARIATS Theory! Theory scrambles away, and he tags Waller in while Waller is busy taunting Glasgow. Waller says he ain’t impressed, but Jey says YEET! Jey blocks a kick, then plays keep away before he SMACKS Waller!
Jey BODY BLOCKS and PELES Waller in the corner, then tags in #BigJim! The fans fire up as Jey whips Waller, and the Usos DOUBLE ELBOW, then handshake DOUBLE ELBOW DROP! They DOUBLE LARIAT Waller up and out, but here comes Theory! The Usos TOSS Theory out, and then Jimmy FLIES! Down goes ATDU and the fans fire up! YEET! Jimmy high-fives some fans before fetching Waller into the ring. Jimmy storms up but Waller mule kicks! Waller CLUBS Jimmy, CLUBS him again, then whips corner to corner. Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Cover, TWO! Waller stays in this but Jimmy stays calm.
Jimmy CHOPS Waller to a corner, but Waller kicks low! Waller swings but Jimmy dodges, and Jimmy CHOPS! Waller flops down, the fans chant, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy CHOPS Waller, whips, but Waller grabs ropes. Theory tags in, Waller KICKS Jimmy, then Waller TOSSES Jimmy! Waller builds speed, slides, but Jimmy dodges! Jimmy UPPERCUTS Waller, but then Theory DECKS Jimmy! The fans boo, Jey checks on his brother, but Theory mocks the Yeet. Theory puts Jimmy in, dares him to reach for Jey, then stomps Jimmy’s hands. The Usos are in trouble while Raw goes… Well no, another not ad break?
Theory taunts the fans, the fans boo, but Theory taunts Jey. Theory drags Jimmy onto ropes to CHOKE, but he stops at 4. Waller gets a cheap shot in as Theory argues with the ref! Jey protests but now Theory rains down fists on Jimmy. Theory mocks the Yeet, says “SUCK IT!” then drags Jimmy up. Tag to Waller, ATDU mugs Jimmy, and Waller CLUBS Jimmy down! Waller lines up a shot, and he KNEES Jimmy in the side! Waller drags Jimmy up, fires hands, but Jimmy SMACKS back! And he CHOPS Theory! Jimmy ROCKS Waller, then ELBOWS Theory! Waller blocks boots, puts Jimmy in ropes, and CLUBS him!
Waller runs to ROLLING ELBOW Jimmy in the back! Tag to Theory, DRAPING JUMP STOMP! Cover, TWO! Theory clamps onto Jimmy with a chinlock and grinds him down. The fans rally up, Jimmy fights to his feet, and Jimmy reaches out. Jimmy fires body shots, then hits a BIG back suplex! The fans fire up while both men are down! Jimmy and theory crawl, hot tag to Waller, and he BLASTS Jey off the apron! Waller rains down fists, then talks trash. The fans boo, Waller paces, and Waller steps on Jimmy’s face! The ref reprimands, but Waller clamps on a cravat. Jimmy endures the neck wrench, and the fans tell Waller he’s a wanker.
Waller puts on more pressure, and we fade to block for just a second. Jimmy fights up, the fans rally up, and Jimmy fires body shots. Waller knees low, then sucker punches Jey! But Jimmy UPPERCUTS Waller! Waller goes to the apron, Jimmy storms over, but Waller HOTSHOTS! Waller then somersaults in, but into a SAMOAN DROP! The fans fire up as Jimmy and Waller crawl again, hot tags to Theory and Jey! Jey LARIATS Theory, DECKS Waller, then fires haymakers on Theory! “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Pop, lock ‘n’ put some stank on the YEET! Then an UPPERCUT! Theory blocks a kick, but not the DRAGON WHIP!
The fans fire up with Jey and they “YEET!” with him. Jey dodges Waller to HIP ATTACK Theory! SUPERKICK for Waller! SUPERKICK for Theory! Cover, TWO! Jey stays cool and the fans rally up again. Theory rises, Jey waits on him, and fireman’s carry for a- NO, Theory fights free, tag to Waller! Jey dodges Theory to UPPERCUT! Waller grabs Jey, and DOUBLE ROLLING ELBOWS connect! Then they double whip to POP-UP DOUBLE HAYMAKER! Cover, TWO!! Jey survives but Waller hurries to a corner. Waller goes up, and he hits a BALLER- NO! Jey dodges, that was an airball! Hot tag to Jimmy! Jey POPS Waller up for Jimmy’s SAMOAN DROP!
The fans fire up as Jimmy goes from Alley-Uce to the top rope. Theory runs up, Jimmy kicks him down, but Waller hits the ropes! That trips Jimmy up and Waller drags Jimmy into a fireman’s carry, Jimmy slips free, tag to Jey! SUPERKICK for Waller! Theory sneaks a tag! Theory hides, Waller BOOTS Jimmy away! Waller runs up, Jimmy ALLEY-UCE into the SPEAR!! The fans fire up but Waller’s not the legal man! Theory is back, but he runs into a ONE D!! Cover, Usos win!
Winners: The Usos, by pinfall
One and done for the Day One Ish! BUT GUNTHER YANKS JIMMY OFF THE CORNER!! The fans boo, but Gunther and Jey start brawling! Then a SUPERKICK for Gunther! Jey SUPERKICKS again! Gunther ends up in a corner, Jey runs in, but he trips?! Gunther pounces to attack with elbows and fists! Jimmy runs in with a chair! Gunther gets away while he can, but he mocks what happened to Jey tripping. Jimmy has his brother’s back, but will Der Ring General keep up the blindside attacks?
The Judgment Day is backstage.
Raquel Rodriguez stretches, and she says she’s missing something. Liv Morgan says, “Imagine how you’d feel with one of these on each shoulder by the end of the night.” Liv has Raquel hold up the title belt and Raquel likes that idea. Dominik Mysterio & Carlito walk in, and Dom says Finn hasn’t talked with any of them since last week. Liv says typical Finn. She loves the guy, but he is always more concerned about his own problems. Dom gets that, he just wishes things went different last week. Liv says it’s fine, things are turning around for the better. Liv beat Jade Cargill just last Friday, and Raquel will become the NEW Women’s Intercontinental Champion! #DoubleChamp!
And just because Finn didn’t win last week doesn’t mean they have to give up on the Men’s IC title. Liv wants Dom to talk with Adam Pearce, and Carlito interrupts by saying Liv’s right. Now it’s time for Carlito to go for the gold. Um, yeah… But also, Dom should go talk with Penta again. Dom says Finn is already against that idea, but Liv says Finn was against Liv joining, and look how that turned out? Dom has the brains, he should just trust himself. Liv says she and Raquel are going to go, Dom wishes them luck. Carlito says yeah, they brought him in, too, and look how that turned out. Okay but can he share his apples? Nope.
The Judgment Day is doing what they want, but not really consulting all members on that. Will things really work out for the better? Or are they just one move away from everything falling apart?
Lyra Valkyria prepares for her match.
Bayley is there to give her a fist bump of encouragement before she heads to gorilla. Lyra also passes by Adam Pearce talking with the LWO. Is the Raw General Manager going to help Dragon Lee get a fair fight with Chad Gable? Or could “El Grande Americano” still make an appearance?
The rich and illustrious history of lucha libre…
… is filled with legends like Blue Demon, The Guerrero Family, and Mil Mascaras. But one star shines brighter than all the rest: El Grande Americano! Hailing from the Gulf of America, El Grande Americano was raised to be the ultimate luchador. He quickly rose to the top of the industry, and for decades was the face of Lucha Libre. But after being blackballed by his jealous enemies, he disappeared without a trace. Now, the legend has returned to bring honor and glory back to this beautiful sport! He is an icon! He is a trailblazer! He is… El Grande Americano!”
Adam Pearce talks with The LWO.
Rey Mysterio asks just what the Hell is that video. That is the introduction to the newest member of the Raw roster… That’s ludicrous! It’s all just Chad Gable! Gable steps in and says they’re wrong. He also coughs and wheezes a bit. Gabel says he knows there are physical similarities, but he is not Grande Americano. He also doesn’t have the energy to argue right now, he got sick on the way over. Sadly, he cannot compete tonight. He has a doctor’s note. Pearce reads it, and it is legit. Rey cannot believe this. But whatever, it’s okay. They’ll just see Gable in the parking lot! Pearce has Rey stand down, and Gable says whoa now. Let him finish.
Gable suggests that Lee should take on the new guy, Grande Americano, and see what he’s got. Rey & Lee are still incredulous, but Pearce says his hands are tied. Rey says he gets it. Lucha libre tradition is about not backing down. Lee says whether Americano is Gable or not, Lee will take the match. Then it’s official! Lee glares at Gable, and Rey says Gable’s a jackass. The LWO walks out, Gable says he can’t believe Pearce is going to let them talk to him like that, but Pearce can’t believe Gable needed a doctor’s note. Gable coughs as if on cue, but will the Boy Wonder still get a big win here in Glasgow?
WWE Women’s Intercontinental Championship: Lyra Valkyria VS Raquel Rodriguez w/ Liv Morgan!
The Morrigan has been undefeated in title matches ever since winning the tournament, but she is quite literally up against her biggest challenge yet. Will Lyra still fly high this close to home? Or will Big Mami Cool become Double Champ Rodriguez?
The introductions are made, Lyra’s belt is raised, and we see who holds the #ShinyShiny!
The bell rings, the two circle, and they feel things out. Lyra dodges Raquel, then gets around to waistlock. Raquel THROWS Lyra off with ease but the fans boo. Lyra brushes herself off while Raquel tells the fans to shut up. The two tie up, Lyra goes for a leg, but Raquel gut wrenches to SWING Lyra around, and then THROW her away! The fans boo but Liv applauds. Raquel drags Lyra up with both ands, then THROWS her into a corner! Raquel runs up, Lyra dodges and headlocks! Raquel powers up and out, Lyra goes up, but Raquel catches her! Lyra holds on, Raquel yanks her from the corner, but Lyra slips free.
Lyra dropkicks legs out, then she gets under Raquel. Raquel fights the Northern Lights to gut wrench and Gory Especial! Lyra sunset flips, but avoids a stomp! Lyra headlocks again, but Raquel powers up and out again. Lyra ducks ‘n’ dodges, wheelbarrows, and victory rolls Raquel out of the ring! The fans fire up with Lyra and Lyra builds speed, but Raquel stops the dropkick! Raquel drags Lyra out but Lyra RANAS her into the desk! Liv panics, Lyra waistlocks, and Lyra puts Raquel in the ring. Lyra hurries up the steps, Liv coaches Raquel, and Raquel stands. Lyra leaps, into a BOOT! The fans boo but Liv cheers, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Raquel has Lyra on the ropes to CHOKE her! Raquel steps off as the ref counts, and Raquel drags Lyra up. The fans rally for Lyra, but Raquel reels her in to suplex. Raquel SLINGSHOT JACKHAMMERS! Cover, TWO! Lyra survives and Raquel is frustrated, but Liv coaches her to keep going. Raquel pie faces Lyra, drags her to a drop zone, and then goes up the ropes. Raquel soaks up the heat before the VADER- FLOP! Lyra dodges, goes up a corner, and the fans fire up again! TURN OF FORTUNE!! Cover, TWO?!? Raquel survives that flying leg drop and Lyra is shocked! The fans rally as Lyra fireman’s carries!
Raquel kicks and flails, slips free, then shoves Lyra to a corner. BLINDSIDE LARIAT! Raquel goes up, VADER SENTON! Cover, TWO! Lyra survives and Raquel grows frustrated. Liv coaches Raquel and she drags Lyra up again. The fans rally, Raquel bumps Lyra off buckles, and then Raquel puts Lyra up top. Lyra BOOTS the haymaker away, then she fires forearms! Raquel wobbles, Lyra adjusts, and Lyra CROSSBODIES, but into Raquel’s arms! Raquel pops Lyra up to a suplex, but Lyra DDTS! Cover, Liv gives Raquel the ROPEBREAK! The fans boo and Lyra knows something is up! Lyra glares at Liv but Liv just taunts Lyra.
Lyra hurries to bring Raquel up again, fireman’s carry, but Raquel powers out. Raquel shoves, Lyra dodges the boot and WRECKS Liv with a dropkick! But Raquel drags Lyra into a scoop, but Lyra slips around to victory roll! LYRA WINS!!
Winner: Lyra Valkyria, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s Intercontinental Champion)
Lyra couldn’t outpower Raquel, but she did outthink her! But now Liv attacks from behind! The fans boo as Liv & Raquel mug Lyra, but here comes Bayley! The Role Model ROCKS Liv, then gives her a HOTSHOT in the ropes! Bayley fires haymakers on Raquel but Raquel knees low! Raquel hoists Bayley up, but now Lyra saves Bayley! And together, they grab legs and DUMP Raquel up and out! The fans fire up as Bayley & Lyra send Judgment Day into retreat! But will Lyra thank Bayley by giving her a title match?
Jimmy & Jey regroup backstage.
Jimmy asks Jey what’s up, and that for the last couple of weeks, Jimmy sees Jey is all up in his own head. Jimmy doesn’t get it. Last week, Jey was hitting that dive for 15 years, and then he becomes a joke! A meme even! What’s with him? Tonight, that killshot was right there, but Jey’s out here slipping. Jey keeps this up, he will not win at WrestleMania. Jey knows that! Jey knows. But everyone reminds him every week. He ain’t beat Gunther, he’s 0-3! But you know what else? He doesn’t know if he can beat Gunther. Jimmy says he can’t?! Jey gets up, Jimmy keeps him from going off somewhere.
Jimmy says Jey can’t beat him. Not this Jey Uso. The Jey that Jimmy knows, the Right Hand Man, that’s the Jey that can! The one that become Main Event Jey, that’s the Uce we need! The one that won the Royal Rumble, THAT’S the Jey we need! Understand him? Jimmy then spots someone off to the side. Jimmy says he’s got Jey on this. Jimmy confronts Gunther! Gunther grins as he walks over, and Jimmy says Gunther VS Jimmy next week! Wow, really? Sure. So long as Jimmy doesn’t trip and fall like his brother. Jimmy SLAPS Gunther for that one! The Usos head out, Gunther leaves it at that. But then Gunther grins. Is Gunther going to make Jimmy an example to Jey?
Adam Pearce is in the ring.
The Raw GM says, “We are officially on the Road to WrestleMania!” The fans cheer that, and Pearce shows the contract for the WWE Women’s World Championship match between Bianca Belair and Iyo Sky. Last week, Rhea Ripley came out here, thought it was appropriate to start a fight, to pick a pen up off the ground, and to scribble her signature onto the contract, as if that makes anything official. Pearce assures us, and he wants this to be crystal clear, Rhea Ripley is NOT in the title match. Glasgow boos, Pearce says they can do that all they want, but the match is Iyo Sky VS Bianca Belair!
Furthermore, the signature Rhea put down means nothing, because Miss Ripley already knows that she has a rematch. A rematch Pearce has tried to get Rhea to settle down on for weeks now, that in the meantime, Bianca won the Elimination Chamber and the right to call herself THE #1 Contender. So that is the issue here. Bianca earned hers, Rhea is owed one, but Rhea seems to want it on her time. Pearce ain’t doing it that way, so therefore- Iyo interrupts! The fans cheer the Evil Genius as she has both belt and mic in hand while heading to the ring. Iyo tells Pearce, “I don’t care about contracts. Rhea Ripley, Bianca Belair, it doesn’t matter who it is.
“I’ll take on BOTH of them! Because… I am the Women’s World Champion~!” The fans like that, and Pearce says he appreciates her being a fighting champion. But if you’d just let him- Nope, Bianca interrupts! The fans cheer the EST as she has her own mic to say, “Oh, girl, uh-uh, hold up, hold up! No, Pearce, you are right, I earned that #1 Contender’s spot. And I… went through Elimination Chamber to get to WrestleMania. So I am not about to let Rhea headbutt her way into this match! If she did not earn it, then she does not deserve it.” Pearce agrees, so if everyone- NOPE, Rhea interrupts!
The fans fire up as Mami makes her way out, and Pearce is beside himself. Rhea has a mic to say, “Honestly, I don’t give a damn about WrestleMania. And I don’t care who I have to go through to get MY title back. All I want is my rematch.” Oh, now she wants that? Pearce has been talking about it for weeks! Bianca says if Rhea wants her rematch, well, she already waited three weeks, so she can wait three more. Then she can get her rematch after WrestleMania, with Bianca. Yeah, she said what she said. Iyo says hold on, but Rhea pushes her aside. The fans boo, but that’s the last straw for Iyo!
Iyo runs up but Pearce gets in there! Pearce shouts “ENOUGH! ENOUGH!” He’s glad they’re all out here, because he was going to give his solution, if they’d just give him a second! NEXT WEEK, Rhea gets her rematch! Then the winner faces Bianca at WrestleMania! Ladies, thank you, have a very nice Monday. Pearce storms off, Bianca and Rhea still argue, but Iyo says bet! She leaps over Bianca to DDT Rhea! Bianca ROCKS Iyo, torture racks, but Iyo fights free with an arm-drag! Rhea BOOTS Bianca, gets around Iyo, but Iyo lands out of the back suplex! SHOTEI! Bianca chicken wings Iyo! Iyo victory rolls Bianca at Rhea, and Bianca LARIATS rhea!
Iyo dodges Bianca again, HOTSHOTS from the apron, then goes up the corner! She FLYING RANAS Rhea on the ramp! Bianca is up, Iyo takes aim, and the fans cheer Iyo on as she springboards! Bianca dodges, torture racks again, KISS OF DEATH to the outside, onto Rhea! Bianca holds up the belt, but will this be how WrestleMania ends? Who will it even be against after next week’s rematch?
Dominik finds Penta backstage.
Dirty Dom asks if Penta has a second to talk. Penta nods, and Dom says he knows Penta is good, but he could be great. Dom is willing to offer Penta a spot in the Judgment Day, and then maybe things will go Penta’s way. Penta wants to speak but Dom says hold on. Penta could be Intercontinental Champion tonight. Just think about it. Dom heads out, Penta looks like he’s already decided. Will the Man with Cero Miedo really need allies like The Judgment Day?
The New Day barge into Adam Pearce’s office.
He’s already exasperated as Kofi Kingston tells him that The New Day is the greatest tag team on Planet Earth! Xavier Woods says that means they deserve a shot at the WWE World Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania. Oh, are they really asking for a title match at WrestleMania? No, they are DEMANDING one! Wow, really? Do they watch the show? Guess not, or else they wouldn’t be coming in here and demanding a title match just because they’re the New Day, greatest team of all time! Instead, they’d want a chance to prove it, and ask for a match. When they’re ready to do that, come back and see him. For now, get out, and don’t let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you!
New Day tells Pearce to check his blood pressure. They leave, but Bianca barges in. There is way too much going on! Who is she facing at WrestleMania? Pearce says it’ll be clear next week after Iyo VS Rhea. And now, Bianca won’t just be sitting ringside to watch, she’ll be the one in that ring calling it right down the middle! That’s right, Bianca is now the special guest referee!! The EST doesn’t know how to referee! Well, she has a week to figure it out! Now bye, drive save. Bianca storms off, Pearce is losing his cool, but what will this mean for the Road to WrestleMania?
Dragon Lee VS El Grande Americano!
The LWO doesn’t care one way or another if “The Big American” luchador is Chad Gable or someone else entirely, because they just want payback for the interference that’s been happening week after week. Will the Boy Wonder shine brighter than this supposed lucha legend? Or will we all be saying “UH GRACIAS~!” after tonight?
The bell rings and the fans rally. The two tie up, “Grande” waistlocks but Lee switches. Grande switches back, trips Lee, and then rolls to facelock, float, and armlock. The fans sing “OLE~, OLE OLE OLE~!” while Lee fights up. Gable- Er, Grande steps over, arm-drags, and then soaks up the cheers and jeers. Grande runs up to CHOP, then whip. Lee reverses, runs in, but Grande puts him on the apron. Lee jumps up but Grande DECKS him! “GRACIAS~!” Grande then builds speed, but Lee is back to RANA! Grande tumbles out, Lee builds speed, and Lee DIVES! Direct hit and down goes Grande!
The fans fire up, Lee puts Grande in the ring, and then clamps on a GROUND COBRA TWIST! Lee grabs at the mask, the ref reprimands, and Lee stops. Grande throat chops! Grande whips, Lee reverses to kick low and reel Grande in. But Grande RANAS free! Grande FLYING HEADBUTTS, then covers, TWO! The fans again sing, “OLE~, OLE OLE OLE~!” Grande goes to the apron with Lee, then he fires a forearm. Lee V-TRIGGERS, then runs up, but into an EXPLODER to the floor! Both men have a hard landing but the fans fire up while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns as Grande has Lee in an inverted Gory Especial! The fans rally as Lee sits up, and he rains down fists! Lee victory rolls Grande, TWO! Grande stands, ducks ‘n’ dodges, FLYING HEADBUTT into the V-TRIGGER! Grande ends up on the apron, Lee goes out the side. Lee drags Grande up to the top rope, the fans rally, but Grande fires body shots. Lee drops back, but he ROCKS Grande! Grande is in the Tree of Woe! Lee goes up, aims, APRON WOE STOMPS!! Grande flops to the floor but even Lee clutches a knee from that landing. The ring count starts and the fans rally. Both men are down at 5 of 10, but slowly rising.
Lee and Grande hear 8, and they spring in at 9! The fans cheer, and Grande fires a CHOP! Lee fires a CHOP! The CHOPS keep going, harder and harder, then Grande CHOPS, CHOPS, CHOPS! Grande runs, Lee dodges and CHOPS! And BOOTS! Grande ROCKS Lee! But Lee dodges to snap GERMAN SUPLEX! Grande flounders, Lee fires up, SUPERKICK! Grande falls again but Lee takes aim! Lee runs in, but Grande OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY SUPLEXES him into the corner! Lee is in a heap, Grande covers, TWO!! Lee survives and the fans fire up! The fans again sing “OLE~, OLE OLE OLE~!” as Grande climbs!
Grande aims to MOONSAULT, but he has to roll through as Lee dodges! Lee runs in, swings through the lariat, and he gets Grande up for a LIGER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Grande survives but Lee vows to end it! Lee brings Grande up, puts him up top and CLUBS him! The fans declare “This is Awesome!” as Lee climbs. Grande is back in the Tree of Woe, but he sits up to pull at Lee’s mask! Grande UNMASKS Lee!! Lee falls, covers his face, and Grande sits up! The fans boo, but Grande gets after a leg! ANKLE LOCK!! The fans boo, Lee can’t fight while also covering his face, so Lee TAPS! Grande wins!
Winner: El Grande Americano, by submission
A controversial way for a luchador to win a match, but it seems El Grande Americano is willing to do anything! Will we ever get to the bottom of this not so mysterious mystery?
CM Punk is here!
Glasgow fires up and sings along with Cult of Personality as the Second City Saint makes his way out here. Punk says, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” and continues down to the ring. What will he say in the fallout of Friday Night SmackDown’s brawl in Bologna? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Punk has the mic while fans chant “C M PUNK! C M PUNK!” Punk says, “Is it great to be alive on a Monday night in Glasgow or what?” The fans cheer that! Punk says that unfortunately while he’s happy to be here, always great to spend quality time with Glasgow, he is not in a good mood. He’s pissed off, but it’s hard to stay mad hearing an ovation like that. Punk says he’s also a little tired, very jetlagged, hasn’t slept well, mostly because of the uncertainty of his Road to WrestleMania. By the way, he apparently has a match now. Did you see the nice graphic? It’s beautiful.
But what Punk wants, he’s not getting. Or is he? Punk says what he wanted was win the Royal Rumble. he didn’t. Then it became what he needed to do, and that was win Elimination Chamber. But because the more things change, the more they stay the same, he work with children. The undisputed heavyweight champion of being a diaper piss baby is Seth Rollins, and he screwed Punk at Elimination Chamber. That doesn’t get Punk to what he wants. For two people, it is clearly personal, but for Punk, it’s just business. It has become simple math: the two men that want to stand in Punk’s way of getting what he wants have go tot go.
Seth Rollins takes it personal because he’s been crying ever since Punk came back to the WWE, because the magnitude of Punk and the shadow he casts belittles everything Rollins is about. Roman Reigns takes it personal, which Punk acknowledges, because Roman sees in real-time that his Wise Man isn’t just his Wise Man. So while it’s personal for the, it is business for Punk, and it’ll be business on Friday in London. It’ll be a good ol’ fashioned contract signing. The fans boo but Punk asks why. Because they wanted it here, right? The fans cheer that! Well, so did Punk, which is why Punk’s here!
Punk can’t wait to get his hands on the contract, read the fine print, and see if the contract gets Punk any bit closer to what he wants… or if it’s just another rug pull from the Powers That Be. So Seth, Roman, fuel up the jet. Since you couldn’t grace them with your presences here in Glasgow, see you in London! But before you put pen to paper, listen to two things and understand them very well. One: neither of you have defeated Punk without the other one’s help, because you can’t! And two: Punk brought them into the WWE, so he cannot wait to be the man to take them both out of it! Punk drops the mic, will he be the one that ends The Shield’s story?
Logan Paul speaks.
Via his Instagram, The Maverick tells AJ Styles, “Congrats, you’ve been added to the list of people whose downfall I’ve been preying on. What you did to me in Madison Square Garden is unforgivable. I’m in London on March 31st, Monday Night Raw, I wanna see you face to face. Bring your A Game, bring your soccer mom haircut, I’ll see your b*tch ass there.” Logan ImPAULsively called out The Phenomenal One, will he be the one to regret it?
Backstage interview with Bron Breakker.
Cathy Kelley is with the badass Intercontinental Champion and notes that he puts that title on the line in the main event, against one of the fastest rising stars in Penta. Earlier tonight, Dom approached Penta to join Judgment Day, is Bron at all concerned that Penta could be bringing backup in an onslaught of new friends? Bron says that’s Penta’s business, it is none of his concern. But as far as tonight, Bron will beat Penta in the center of that ring, then retain this title for one reason: The dogs are barking in Glasgow! Bron barks it up, then heads for gorilla. Will the Big Bad Booty Nephew not worry about the numbers and just go for the win? Or will he learn that #CeroMeido is math he can’t ignore?
WWE Intercontinental Championship: Bron Breakker VS PENTA!
Raw returns as Penta makes his entrance, followed by Bron’s. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is really the biggest badass!
The bell rings and the fans bark as Bron stares Penta down. They slowly circle, tie up, and Penta waistlocks. Bron pries at the grip, wrenches out to wristlock, and the fans duel. Penta wrenches, wristlocks, and headlocks in return, but Bron powers up! Bron shoves Penta away, but then Penta dodges to KICK a leg! And KICK it again! Penta whips, Bron ducks ‘n’ dodges, then builds speed to LARIAT! The fans bark for Bron while Penta flounders to a corner. Bron runs up to RAM into Penta! And RAM again! And again! The ref counts, Penta sputters, and Bron brings Penta up. Bron whips, Penta ducks ‘n’ dodges and RANAS!
Brun tumbles into the ropes then out of the ring! The fans fire up and Penta goes up, up, and- JUMP KNEE from Bron! Penta falls to the floor and Bron grins. The fans bark while Penta sputters to the desk. Bron aims for that FLYING LARIAT! Bron and Penta crash onto and over the desk! The fans bark more while both men are down! The ref checks on both men, but Dom & Carlito come out here? The fans boo, is Dom just assuming Penta’s decision? We’ll have to see, after the break.
Raw returns again and the fans rally as Penta fires body shots. Penta CHOPS, but Bron just frowns. Bron ROCKS Penta, eggs him on, but Penta CHOPS! Bron frowns again, then he ROCKS Penta! Penta comes back with a flurry of forearms! The fans fire up, Penta runs, but Bron ROCKS him again! Bron runs, but Penta SUPERKICKS! Bron wobbles, Penta runs up, but into another KNEE! Bron runs, runs, and- SUPERKICK from Penta! Both men fall and the fans fire up! The fans rally while Bron and Penta slowly rise. Penta has Bron first, reels him in, but Bron shoves Penta away. Penta comes back and KICKS Bron!
Penta then gets around Bron to mule kick a leg! Penta runs to SLING-DOG Bron down! Bron flops out, the fans fire up, and Penta builds speed to DIVE into an UPPERCUT! Bron hurries back in, fireman’s carries Penta, but Penta pops up to BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO! Carlito says that alone proves Penta is Judgment Day material, but Penta calls his next shot. Bron rises, Penta runs in, DEST- NO, Bron stops that to make it a fireman’s carry, then a military press! GUT BUSTER DROP! Cover, TWO!! Penta survives, Bron is a bit surprised, but the fans still bark. Bron vows to end this and he goes to a corner.
Bron aims, Penta rises, and Bron runs in, into another SUPERKICK! Penta then GAMANGIRIS in the corner! Penta puts Bron up top, climbs up after him, but Bron shoves him down. Bron fires hands, then he hoists Penta up! Bron fireman’s carries Penta, but Penta fights free! Penta hops down to the apron so he can jump up and RANA Bron off the corner! Bron tumbles out, Penta builds speed, and Penta FLIES! Dom & Carlito love the tope conjilo, and Glasgow says, “This is Awesome!” Penta drags Bron up and into the ring, then takes aim again. MEXICAN DESTROYER!! Cover, TWO!! Born survives and Carlito is shocked!
The fans rally as hard as they can, and Dom coaches Penta up. Penta tells Dom to watch himself, then he drags Bron up. Penta pump handles Bron, but Bron fights free! Penta goes to a corner, BOOTS in return, and then goes up. Bron anchors Penta, Penta CLUBS away on Bron, then ROCKS him! Bron staggers away, but he springs right up top to SUPER STEINER! Cover, TWO! Penta survives the “Breakkensteiner” and Bron is frustrated. The fans rally up as Bron brings down the straps! The fans bark as Bron takes aim from the corner. But Dom gets on the apron! Carlito grabs Bron, but Bron TOSSES Carlito!
Bron runs and he SPEARS Carlito! The fans fire up, the ref reprimands Judgment Day, but Dom CHOP BLOCKS from behind! The ref catches it, the match is over!
Winner: Bron Breakker, by disqualification (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)
The fans boo but Dom rains down fists on Bron! If Dom is trying to get Penta to join up, he sure messed up that! The fans tell Dom off, but Bron ROCKS Dom with haymakers! FINN BALOR SMACKS BRON WITH A CHAIR! The Prince is here after all, and he SMACKS Bron again! Penta doesn’t even realize what happened, and then Finn glares at Dom?! Finn decides to give Dom the chair, and Dom JAMS it into Bron again and again! Penta understands now that Judgment Day screwed this up for him, but Dom offers him the chair? The fans say “NO! NO! NO!” but Penta still takes the chair. Dom says take Bron out, Cero Miedo!
Penta aims, but while Dom is encouraging Penta to do it, Finn is upset with Dom about it! Penta throws the chair at Dom to SUPERKICK into his face! Finn is even more upset because he knew this would happen. Finn CLOBBERS Penta, stomps away on him, and the fans boo more. Finn grabs the chair again, and he SMACKS Bron back down! Bron tumbles out, and Finn tells Dom he’s too stupid to be making decisions. Finn goes up, and he gives Penta a COUP DE GRACE! Judgment Day has no new members and no new gold, but will Finn get Dom to understand that they can still run Monday Night Raw?
My Thoughts:
Another great Raw, especially with this Glasgow crowd. Cena continues to be the perfect “Justified Heel” with another great promo, and it is amazing that he uses the Spinner Championship as the cornerstone of all of this. I almost thought he was going to say he would remake the spinner belt using the current title’s design. But at the same time, it’s good enough that he vows to retire that belt with his retirement so that whatever comes next will only ever be second place. Or third, given how there’s the WWE World Heavyweight Championship again. And Cody had a good retort again, but Cena is the one bringing the better promos.
While there was speculation that Glasgow would get to believe in Joe Hendry tonight, I knew it just makes sense in story that Jimmy would be the mystery partner for Jey. Very good match from Usos VS ATDU, very good win for the Usos, and a great promo where Jimmy lights that fire in Jey before slapping Gunther. Gunther VS Jimmy is going to be really good, and this fits a bit more of what I was hoping we’d get in the build. Gunther and Jimmy can tear it up while Gunther still wins out, a real example set for Gunther VS Jey at Mania, but also incredible motivation for Jey given he’ll be watching his brother get beat up.
Very good promo from Punk, a touch better than Rollins’ last week, but both boil down to hyping up what’s happening on SmackDown this week. Great stuff with this Chad Gable/El Grande Americano stuff. That video package was like 90% AI generated images, 10% Photoshop, but I guess that adds to how Grande Americano’s legacy is fake and it’s just Gable. Lee VS Grande Gable was great stuff, and what a wild way for Grande Gable to win with Lee’s mask coming off. Rey will surely want his own match with Grande Gable, and I feel like this has to come down to a Mask VS Mask match so that when Grande loses, he is exposed as Gable all along.
Great promo stuff for the Women’s World Championship, as Pearce puts his foot down and has them do things his way. No Triple Threat, at least not yet, as we instead get Rhea VS Iyo one more time, but Bianca being the Special GuEST Referee is of course going to create shenanigans that then compel a Triple Threat. New Day complaining and demanding a title match is good stuff, too, and I would think Pearce is going to put New Day into a big contenders match. Honestly, all tag teams on Raw should be put in that: New Day, A-Town Down Under, Alpha Academy, Creed Brothers, LWO’s Wilde & Del Toro, winners face War Raiders.
And the Judgment Day were once again a great throughline for Raw. Good promo from the group to set up things for tonight while also keeping the dysfunction in mind. Lyra VS Raquel was a great title match, great win for Lyra, and good stuff with Bayley making the save. I feel like we might get a tag match of Lyra & Bayley VS Liv & Raquel before we get Lyra VS Bayley for the title. I still feel like they could escalate and make it more than just 1v1 for WrestleMania, as Liv can even get herself in on the Intercontinental Championship, but we should also really get others like Shayna Baszler, Zoey Stark and even Natalya going again or else they’re signed for no reason.
And of course, awesome stuff with the Men’s Intercontinental Championship. It plays up the Judgment Day drama of Finn and Dom each trying to be the mastermind, but everyone wanting titles. Bron is still great in the ring but his character isn’t getting much other than “bark bark.” Even if he went back to talking a lot like Uncle Scott Steiner, that would be a bit more fun. But right now, he’s just this obstacle that the others are trying to get past while also dealing with their own stuff. Judgment Day standing tall because of Finn’s surprise appearance certainly cues up at least a Triple Threat of Bron VS Penta VS Finn, but maybe Dom gets himself in that match to “improve Judgment Day’s odds,” which just pisses Finn off and creates the real fallout in the group.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Who wins this three-on-three?
March Madness is in full effect, and Collision is ready to Slam Dunk Sunday! But will the Death Riders’ reign of terror continue? Or can AR Fox & Top Flight finally dethrone them?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- AEW World Trios Championships: The Death Riders VS AR Fox & Top Flight; The Death Riders win and retain the titles.
- Bandido VS Johnny TV; Bandido wins.
- Harley Cameron VS Aminah Belmont; Harley wins.
- Los Titanes del Aire VS La Faccion Ingobernable; Los Titanes win.
PLAY BY PLAY
AEW World Trios Championships: The Death Riders VS AR Fox & Top Flight!
Jon Moxley survived another title defense thanks to Claudio Castagnoli, Wheeler Yuta & Pac, but now they must defend their own titles. Not only that, but it is against the three men that won that $300,000 Rampage Holiday Bash battle royal back in 2022. Will the Death Riders continue their reign of terror? Or will these high-fliers really cash in here tonight?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and it is time to slam, if you wanna jam!
The trios sort out, and The Decoder starts against Darius Martin. The fans rally up as the bell rings. Yuta and Darius circle, tie up, and Yuta wrenches to a hammerlock. Darius reaches back to headlock, then he chinbars into a cravat. Yuta spins through to trip Darius and has a toehold. Darius endures while fans rally. Darius turns over, reels Yuta in and headlocks back. Yuta brings Darius to his knees, then waistlocks. Darius switches and SLAMS Yuta, then floats to turn Yuta over for a cover. ONE, and Darius avoids a leg sweep to headlock. Yuta powers up and out, Darius goes up and over, then Darius arm-drags Yuta!
Yuta gets up, Darius DROPKICKS him, and Omaha cheers. The fans cheer, Darius CHOPS, then he tags in Dante. Darius whips, Yuta reverses, but Darius rolls off Yuta’s back. Darius SOBATS, Dante sweeps, and Darius DOUBLE STOMPS! Dante covers, ONE, but Dante wrenches to wristlock. Yuta pulls hair to put Dante in the corner, and Claudio tags in. The Swiss Cyborg stomps Dante, the fans boo, but Claudio waistlocks. Dante switches and hops on for a SLEEPER! Claudio powers up and out, but Dante sunset flips! Claudio flails to stay up, and he drags Dante right up to his feet! Dante dodges, and he fires forearms!
Dante fires more shots but Claudio shoves him away. Dante dodges, ROCKS Claudio, but Claudio returns to CLOBBER Dante! The fans are torn but Pac applauds. Claudio fires body shots, then UPPERCUTS. Claudio pie faces Dante, whips corner to corner hard, then runs up, but into a BOOT! Claudio just comes back, blocks a boot, but not the ENZIGIRI! Dante goes up and up and RANA! Not the cleanest but Claudio still tumbles out. Claudio hurries back in, tag to Pac. Pac RAMS Dante, then slingshots up and over. Pac keeps moving, but Dante CLOBBERS him! Tag to Fox and he LARIATS Pac! And goes Matrix to then PELE!
The fans fire up for Fox and he has Pac. Fox whips, Pac reverses, but Fox stops himself. Yuta runs up but Fox TOSSES him! Pac runs up, Fox puts him on the apron and sweeps the legs. Pac is on the apron, Fox builds speed, just to slingshot STOMP Pac on the apron! Then he CANNONBALLS Yuta! But Claudio runs up to BOOT Fox down! The fans boo, Top Flight protests, but Claudio deadlifts Fox into the ring! Pac storms in and stomps Fox around. Pac drags Fox up, bumps him off buckles hard, then tags Claudio. They mug Fox, Claudio ROCKS Fox, and then drags Fox up. Fox tries to power forward but Claudio keeps him back!
Claudio powers Fox back, he tags Yuta in, and they mug Fox more. Yuta stands Fox up to reel him in, and he snap suplexes! Cover, ONE!! Fox stays in this but Yuta stays on him. Fox JAWBREAKERS free, goes Matrix again, hot tag to Darius! Darius CLOBBERS Yuta, BLASTS Pac, then BOOTS Yuta! Darius keeps moving, HOTSHOT BULLDOG DROPKICK COMBO! Then Darius GAMANGIRIS Yuta, steps in and COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, Claudio breaks it! Dante CANNONBALLS Claudio! Pac TOSSES Dante out, the ref reprimands him, but that lets Yuta CLAW Darius’ eyes! The fans boo but Yuta hits a PAIN THRILLER! Cover, TWO!
Yuta is annoyed but he keeps Darius down with a wristlock, and mockingly claps hands, while Collision goes picture in picture.
Yuta drags Darius up, bumps him off buckles, then tags Pac. Pac stomps Darius down, kicks him around, then kicks Darius in the side! Pac stays between Darius and his team, taunts him, but Darius fires body shots. Darius UPPERCUTS, but Pac KICKS him down! Pac taunts the fans, then brings him up. Pac tags Yuta back in, Yuta CHOPS Darius, then Yuta snapmares Darius for a KNEE DROP! Cover, TWO! Yuta clamps onto Darius with a chinlock to keep him down. Darius fights up, fires body shots, and he ROCKS Yuta! Slam Dunk Sunday returns to single picture as Darius runs, but into a DROPKICK!
Yuta tags Pac, then holds Darius down for Pac to drop a leg, brother! Pac looms over Darius, then drags Darius up to DECK him! Pac stomps Darius, CHOKES him on the ropes, but steps off as the ref counts. Claudio gets a cheap shot in! Fox protests but nothing can be done as Pac stands Darius up. Tag to Claudio and the mugging continues. The fans rally for “A R FOX! A R FOX!” Darius fires body shots and a CHOP! Claudio brushes that off, but Darius CHOPS again! And again! Claudio still eggs Darius on, Darius CHOPS! Claudio UPPERCUTS into a hook! Darius tries but Claudio fights the backslide! Claudio spins around, shoves Darius, POP-UP DROPKICK!
Darius and Claudio are both down and the fans fire up! Darius crawls, as does Claudio, but then Claudio grabs a leg. Claudio drags Darius bac, but Darius BOOTS free! Hot tags to Yuta and Dante! Dante rallies on Yuta with forearm after forearm! Dante whips, Yuta reverse, Dante goes out, up, around, and then GAMANGIRISR! Dante springboards to avoid Pac and CROSSBODY Yuta in one move! Dante FLIPS up and over Yuta, then sends Pac into him! Dante SHOTGUNS Pac in the back to send him out, and the fans fire up! Dante builds speed to go up, up, then tags Fox before he CANNONBALLS!
The fans fire up, but here comes Claudio! Dante dodges, Fox PENALTY KICKS! Then Fox goes up the corner to MOONSAULT! Down goes Claudio and the fans fire up again! Fox puts Yuta in, then climbs the corner, for a SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Yuta survives but Fox hurries to go back up a corner! But Claudio anchors Fox, but Top Flight YANKS Claudio down! Fox adjusts, but Yuta trips him up now! The fans boo, the ref reprimands Yuta, but then Pac DOUBLE LOW BLOWS Top Flight!! Claudio DOUBLE LARIATS Top Flight, and the Death Riders regroup. The ref reprimands, but the Death Riders don’t listen as they surround Fox.
Omaha is thunderous for Fox as he fights back, 3v1! But Claudio! blocks a kick, and the mugging is on! The ref reprimands, Claudio stands Fox up, and he sends Yuta in, ELBOW! Claudio UPPERCUTS! Pac ELBOWS! Yuta ELBOWS! Repeat! The fans boo as the cycle of violence continues! Then Pac hits a TOMBSTONE!! ROCKET LAUNCHER! Cover, Death Riders win!
Winners: The Death Riders, by pinfall (still AEW World Trios Champions)
Chaos reigns as The Death Riders screwed over their old rivals. Fox & Top Flight regroup and the fans cheer, but THE CRU attacks! Action Andretti & Lio Rush grin as they CLOBBER Darius! They talk trash, and then Dante gets up, only for Action to LARIAT him down! But where’d Fox go? Wait, now Lio & Action undo their chain necklaces, so they can CHOKE Top Flight with them!! The fans boo, more refs rush out here, but The Cru has already choked out Darius & Dante! Will this be the end of this animosity? Or have Lio & Action only put themselves back on Top Flight’s radar?
BREAKING NEWS for April!
Dynamite returns to Boston, but it won’t be Big Business. It’ll be a Spring Breakthru! Get your tickets now so you don’t miss out!
Backstage interview with The Undisputed Kingdom.
Lexy Nair brings up the intense match Adam Cole and Daniel Garcia had, going to Hell and back, all for the TNT Championship. It unfortunately ended in a time limit draw, and some would say a tie is worse than a loss. Cole says he certainly feels that way. He feels sick to his stomach, physically beat up, and the worst part is, he had Garcia beat. “Daniel Garcia, I had you beat for that TNT Championship. The time limit is what saved you. And lemme tell you, the next time we do face each other, there will be no outside interference, there will be no time limit. It will be Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, for the TNT Championship, and trust me when I tell you, you’re looking at the next champ!”
Kyle O’Reilly says wow. And speaking of rematches, it has been about a week since their match with FTR. And what’s really bugging him isn’t the loss, it’s the lack of respect. Kyle & Roddy showed a lot of respect. They held out their hands, and what’d FTR do? FTR left Kyle wondering if they really are everything they say they are: The best tag team on Earth that’s ever existed in the time-space continuum! Kyle thinks they’re just insecure. Roddy shouts, “KYYYLE~! No. No, we are not gonna do that. That loss matters. We didn’t go through what we went through to get back together, to lose to the supposed best tag team on the planet.”
Roddy wants FTR to hear this. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. The third time’s not gonna happen, fellas.” Cole says, “And that is Undisputed.” When and where will we see these epic trilogies happen?
Backstage interview with Kazuchika Okada.
Slam Dunk Sunday returns as Lexy is now with The Rainmaker. We’re not even a quarter into 2025 and Okada has gotten some very significant wins defending the AEW Continental Championship. Okada says yes, at Grand Slam: Australia, he beat Buddy Matthews. At Revolution, he beat Brody King. He put those dogs down. What does that mean? Okada says he means, he put those b*tches to sleep! Is The Rainmaker saying the Hounds of Hell are no more? Or will they come barking back and take a bite out of his belt?
Bandido VS Johnny TV!
The Most Wanted wants his revenge on Chris Jericho, but he was first challenged by the Guru of Greatness for this “big ratings” showdown. Will Bandido mute Johnny and head for The Nueve? Or will he find he’s not #TVReady?
Johnny disrespects Bandido during his entrance by throwing his big studded jacket at him! The fans boo, Johnny grins, but Bandido fires off forearms! The bell rings, Johnny pushes Bandido back, then wrangles him. Johnny rolls Bandido, ONE, but Johnny floats to rain down fists and stomps! Johnny gets his sunglasses off, the fans boo, but Johnny says he is TV Ready. Johnny taunts “cabron” Bandido, then KICKS him in the back. Johnny eggs Bandido on, “How’s my foot taste?” Johnny drags Bandido up for a NECKBREAKER! The fans boo as Johnny shows off the abs. Johnny KICKS Bandido, drags him back up, then fires body shots.
Johnny whips, Bandido ducks ‘n’ dodges, then he CLOBBERS Johnny! The fans fire up as Bandido keeps moving, another big forearm! And another big forearm! Bandido fires up, the fans are with him, and he runs in at the corner. Bandido jumps up to MONKEY FLIP! Johnny flops hard on his face! Johnny gets up in a huff, but runs into a military press! With ONE HAND! Bandido then THROWS Johnny down! Omaha rallies more while Johnny bails out, and Collision goes to single picture.
Bandido build speed, but Johnny slides in and LARIATS! Johnny mocks the clapping, then covers, TWO! Bandido is tougher than that, but Johnny drags him right up. Johnny reels Bandido in, MOONLIGHT DRIVE! Cover, TWO! Bandido is still tougher than that, but Johnny clamps on a dragon sleeper. Bandido endures, even as Johnny hooks a leg and twists him. Bandido fights around, reaches out, but Johnny drags him back! Johnny keeps on the stretch plum style hold, but Bandido still endures. Bandido fights up, fires knees, but Johnny CLUBS Bandido! Johnny INVERTED SUPLEXES, but Bandido lands on the apron!
Bandido blocks a shot, slingshots, but Johnny SHOVES him down! Bandido hits the floor and Johnny goes out after him. Johnny storms up on Bandido, stands him up, and whips him into steel steps! Bandido falls in a heap, Johnny stalks him and taunts him, but Collision goes to break.
Slam Dunk Sunday returns, Johnny runs in at the corner but Bandido BOOTS him away! Bandido then UPPERCUTS, goes up, but Johnny throws him down! Bandido rolls to his feet, runs back in, but Johnny dodges. Johnny runs back in, but Bandido SHOTGUNS him down! The fans fire up, Bandido covers, TWO! Johnny survives that shot but Bandido stays focused. The fans rally, Bandido paces, and Bandido drags Johnny up. Bandido gut wrenches to a Canadian Rack, that then becomes a torture rack! X KNEE! Johnny staggers to the ropes, Bandido says BANG! Bandido runs in, BLACKJACK 21 PLEX!! Bridging cover, Bandido wins!
Winner: Bandido, by pinfall
The Most Wanted was most certainly #TVReady! But he’s not done, as he grabs a mic to call out Jericho! “Come here, and bring my little brother, Gravity’s mask, RIGHT NOOOW!” Bandido waits, and here comes The Learning Tree! The ROH World Champion has “Big Bill” & Bryan Keith behind him, and he is holding onto Gravity’s mask. The fans boo, but Jericho smiles as he holds the mask up. The Learning Tree goes to the ring, and Jericho also has a mic. Jericho steps and says, “You know, Bandido. I wish I could tell you it doesn’t have to be this way, but I think we both know that it does.
“Because even after a generational career, one of the greatest in pro-wrestling history, I still have to remind you, everybody here watching tonight, everybody at home, who’s been fortunate enough to witness the brilliance of the Jericho Era… That you can only take me for granted for so long! That you can only take from me so much until I start taking back.” Jericho can be quite generous, and he can also be very dangerous. Bandido can just ask his family. The fans boo, but Jericho says Bandido’s terrified sister, his disgraced brother, and his weeping mother…! And Jericho is sorry he made Bandido’s mother cry, he really is.
But he had to teach Bandido a lesson! That’s what happens when you try and take the ROH World Championship from Chris Jericho! You understand him? Do you?! The fans boo, but Jericho says if Bandido wants the mask back, he can’t have it. Because Jericho wants Bandido to remember the humiliation that he felt when Jericho took this mask right off his brother. And the only thing worse than taking a luchador’s mask… is putting that mask on! Jericho goes to put Gravity’s mask on! The fans boo as Jericho wears it as his own! His big head doesn’t even fit in it! The fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” but Jericho tells them to shut up!
Jericho, muffled as his voice is now, tells Bandido that Bandido should just stand there and cry like his mother! Bandido DECKS Jericho instead! But now Bill runs up! Bandido dodges, BOOTS Keith, then dodges again! Bandido goes up, up, but into Bill’s big hand! SKYSCRAPER- NO, Bandido slips free, then dodges Keith! Bandido SNATCHES the mask off Jericho, and gets away clean! The fans fire up as Bandido gets his moral victory! But will he and Jericho go one more round for THE victory?
Megan Bayne speaks.
“I’ve watched others fight for what they believe is theirs: Titles, fame, glory. But none of them possess true power. They worship at the feet of champions, but even those champions don’t understand what it is to be chosen by the heavens. I have arrived here as the embodiment of fate. And when they bow before me, when they worship at my feet, they’ll finally know that the All Elite Goddess has arrived. I am The Megasus, and this is my kingdom now.”
Toni Storm speaks.
“Who died and made you God? Who came down from the mountains and bestowed your power upon my people? Megan Bayne, have you heard the mythology of the one they call Timeless? Hercules doesn’t have my thighs, I have an Oedipal Complex with myself, I can summon the Kraken from my ass, and Pegasus ain’t got s*it on me! I saw my reflection, and my reflection saw me, and we made love until the sun came up. And at Dynasty, I will cut off the head of the mighty Megasus, and I will hold it aloft for the whole world to see, and I will say… ‘By GAWD I’m good.'” Luther applauds in the background, will Toni Storm slay this female titan?
Harley Cameron VS Aminah Belmont!
Though she was rather coy about her- er, Harley-gram’s budding romance with The Beast Mortos, the wild Aussie is getting back in action. Will the Phoenix Princess #FEELTHEWRATH on Slam Dunk Sunday?
The bell rings and the fans rally for Harley. Harley and Aminah tie up, Harley headlocks, but Aminah powers up and out. Aminah drops down, Harley rolls over then bypasses Aminah to LARIAT! The fans cheer, Harley runs and KNEES Aminah low. Then a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! The fans fire up again and Harley stands Aminah up. Aminah throat chops, then straitjackets for the NECKBREAKER! Harley flounders to a corner, Aminah mocks the fans, then she runs in, but into an ELBOW! Harley runs up, ducks the lariat and ENZIGIRIS! The fans fire up for Harley, she ducks Aminah’s roundhouse to pump handle!
Harley lifts for the PUMP HANDLE SAIDO! The fans fire up with Harley, “FEEL THE WRATH!” And then she dragon sleepers, for HER FINISHING MOVE! Cover, Harley wins!
Winner: Harley Cameron, by pinfall
Aminah certainly did #FEELTHEWRATH, and Harley goes right to commentary for our main event! Will Harley have a good time watching Komander & Hologram officially debut as a team? Or will Dralistico y Mortos make everything tranquilo?
Backstage interview with Don Callis.
Lexy is with cruddy Callis and brings up all that is going on within the Family. We have not seen Kyle Fletcher since the brutal cage match at Revolution, and- Callis stops Lexy there. He says we all know what she’s up to here. She is passive aggressively getting Callis all worked up about the cage match, but here’s the thing. When you have Kyle Fletcher, just 26 years old, and already the future of pro-wrestling, “you have the luxury of putting nights like Revolution in the rearview mirror. What I’ve got planned for Kyle Fletcher, what we’ve got planned, is gonna dwarf anything that your little brain could possibly fathom!”
But one thing she said is right: Everyone wants to see Kyle! So tonight is a little treat. Ladies and gentlemen… The Protostar, the future of wrestling, and the New God of Pro-Wrestling, Kyle BAH GAWD Fletcher! Yes, Kyle indeed steps into frame, and he says there has been a lot of talk and rumors that he was in some hospital bed, licking his wounds, but he is here to set the story straight. Yes, the cage match, the entire rivalry with Ospreay, has changed Kyle. But one thing that has not changed is the fact that he is destined to be the greatest of all time!
So he will be at Dynamite this Wednesday, and he’ll make it very apparent what is next for The Family, and for The Protostar, Kyle Fletcher. Say his full name, baby! Callis and Kyle hug it out, are maybe feeling a little too good, but just what is next for the DCF in AEW?
BREAKING NEWS for Dynamite!
Tony Khan has decided what’s next for Kyle: Brody King! Will the King of Death prove the Hounds of Hell are not done yet? Or will The Protostar use him as a stepping stone to the top? Then, it is some big meaty men slapping meat as “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs takes on Mark Davis. Will Hobbs finally get past the Don Callis Family with this? Plus, after Megan Bayne and Toni Storm each said their piece tonight, we’re getting a tag team match! Megan again teams with Penelope Ford against the reunited #ThunderStorm! Can La Mera Mera get her own revenge while helping Timeless Toni tune up for Dynasty?
And Kenny Omega not only returns, he is back in action against Blake Christian! Will the Best Bout Machine use the Vanilla Babyface as an appetizer for that big International Championship Triple Threat at Dynasty? And last but not least, after Dax Harwood left Cope hanging last week, Tony Schiavone will interview #RatedFTR to get to the bottom of this divide. All this when AEW arrives in St. Paul, Minnesota!
Los Titanes del Aire VS La Faccion Ingobernable!
This one has been a long time coming. Hologram was put on the shelf because of Dralistico, Mortos y Rush, but he was able to reboot, rebuild and refresh in time to help Komander fight back. Can the Titans of the Air fly high over LFI? Or will Dralistico y Mortos stampede over them like rampaging bulls?
The teams sort out, the ref has to keep them back, and then Dralistico starts against Hologram. Harley claims to have no idea who “Harley-gram” really is, but whoever she is, she has a fantastic chest. Wait, Mortos CLOBBERS Komander! The fans boo, but Hologram dodges, and Mortos CLOBBERS Darlistico! Hologram fires hands, Mortos headlocks, but Hologram goes up the ropes! Hologram then flips free, SOBATS, and whips. Hologram ducks under then hurdles over Mortos. Mortos leaps over, runs back up, ARABIAN PRESS and a roll! The fans fire up, Hologram dodges Mortos to then tilt-o-whirl and DEJA VU-
NO, Mortos stops the ride to chicken wing Hologram! But Hologram victory rolls through, TWO! Mortos has it, TWO! Both men stand, Hologram rolls Mortos but Mortos powers through to a cover, ONE! They both stand, Mortos HEADBUTTS Hologram down! The fans fire up, then Mortos runs to sunset flip! Hologram rolls through, Komander tags in, and Komander springboards to SPLASH! Komander bounces off the cover, comes back and tilt-o-whirl RANAAS! Mortos flounders away, Dralistico tags in. Mortos BOOTS Komander, Dralistico springboards but Komander dodges. Komander shoves, then he pops Dralistico up, but Dralistico DROPKICKS!
Dralistico runs back in, ducks ‘n ‘dodges to SHOULDER TACKLE! The fans fire up and Harley says this is “Luchamazing!” Dralistico fires up, runs up, but Komander blocks! Komander kicks Dralistico again and again, then goes up the corner! DOUBLE BOUNCE ARABIAN PRESS ARM-DRAG! The fans fire up as Komander then KICKS, SOBATS, and winds up. Komander runs to jump, spin, and wheelbarrow for the arm-drag! Komander fires up, the fans fire up, but Harley says she has to go now? Harley needs to call her friend. Harley says she forgot, but she’s gotta go, she’ll be back. Harley hops off commentary, who is she going to call?
Komander puts Dralistico on the apron but Dralistico mule kicks Hologram! Dralistico dodges Komander’s tiger feint kick, and Komander ends up on the apron. Mortos runs up, but Komander GAMANGIRIS! Dralistico is there to FLYING RANA Komander to the floor! Mortos TOPE TORNILLOS! Down goes Hologram and the fans fire up! Fans lose their minds, Harley scampers off, and Collision goes picture in picture.
Mortos drags Hologram up, SMACKS him back down, and Dralistico sends Komander into railing! Then Dralistico drags Komander up, RAILING BACKBREAKER! Dralistico shoves Komander back into the ring, then sits him up to go after the mask! The ref reprimands, Dralistico stops, and Dralistico argues with the ref. Dralistico then drags Komander up, brings him around, and whips him to ropes. Dralistico ELBOWS Komander down, tags in Mortos, and Mortos fires up. Mortos NECK TWISTS Komander! Cover, TWO! Komander stays in this, but Mortos clamps onto him again. Mortos YANKS Komander up with his mask to then SLAM him down!
Mortos stands Komander back up to SMACK him down! Komander goes to ropes, Mortos storms up, and Mortos wrenches Komander to tag in Dralistico. Komander tires to fight back but LFI still mugs him. Dralistico CHOPS Komander, then says uno mas! But then Dralistico DECKS Komander! Komander rises up, and Darlistico KICKS the leg out! Dralistico dusts himself off, puts up the ingobernable fist, then looms over Komander. Abrahantes coaches Komander, but Dralistico has him in a modified Half Crab! Komander endures, Dralistico lets go, and the fans rally up. Dralistico stands Komander up, whips him to the corner, then runs up to SPLASH!
Dralistico sits Komander down, goes side to side, and SUPERKICKS! Dralistico taunts Hologram, then soaks up the heat. But wait! “Harley-gram” is here! And suspiciously wearing gear just like Harley’s. Dralistico TOSSES Hologram in just for fun, then stands him up to CHOP! Dralistico runs at Komander in the other corner, but Komander breaks free! Slam Dunk Sunday returns to single picture as Dralistico hits buckles! Hologram runs in and LARIATS! Komander SUPERKICKS! Komander feeds Dralistico to Hologram’s SPANISH FLY! Hologram then helps Komander go up, up, and PHOENIX SPLASH! Cover, Mortos breaks it!
The fans rally, Dralistico and Komander crawl. “This is Awesome!” as we get hot tags to Mortos and Hologram! Hologram dodges Mortos, SOBATS, and KICKS! And HEEL KICKS! Mortos wobbles, Hologram goes up the ropes to QUEBRADA, but into Mortos’ Alabama Lift! Hologram powers through to DESTROYER!! Mortos staggers around, flops out of the ring, and Hologram builds speed! Hologram DIVES, direct hit on Mortos and they go all the way to the ramp! The fans are thunderous and Hologram hurries to get Mortos in the ring. Fans hope these teams “FIGHT FOREVER!” but Komander goes up, CIELITO LINDO!
Hologram is back in, he hooks Mortos up and rolls, GHOST PIN! Dralistico barrels in and breaks it! The fans rally, Harley-gram joins in with Abrahantes, and we get hot tags to Komander and Dralistico! Komander goes up, Dralistico ROCKS him first! Dralistico climbs up after Komander, fires shots, but Komander fires back! They go back and forth, even with CHOPS! Dralistico fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT, then brings Komander up! SUPER- NO, Komander slips free and ENZIGIRIS! The fans fire up again as Komander roars! Komander runs and goes up, up, and SUPER POISON-RANAS!! The fans are thunderous again, but Mortos scoops Komander!
Mortos hits the BEAST BREAKER!! Then he runs to FLYING ELBOW! Hologram runs in and goes up, then up to POISON-RANA! But Dralistico FLYING CRUCIFIX DRIVERS!! Komander is back to fire hands with Dralistico, and we get DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSES!! Both men fall, but Komander falls onto Dralistico! Cover, TWO!! Dralistico survives and Omaha is electric! Abrahantes & Harley-gram get that energy building, and Komander has Dralistico. The fans cheer on “A E DUB!” as the forearms fly! Dralistico CHOPS, but Komander CHOPS! The CHOPS go back and forth, but Dralistico SOBATS!
Dralistico CHOPS, CHOPS, CHOPS, then he runs, but Komander follows! Dralistico dodges, springboards, and FLYING DESTROYERS!!! Komander staggers then falls, Dralistico hurries to cover, HOLOGRAM BREAKS IT! The fans are thunderous again as Dralistico runs to SCREW HIGH KICK! Dralistico whips, Hologram reverses, but Dralistico slides out! And he grabs Abrahantes as a hostage! Hologram still DIVES! Direct hit on Dralistico, and a scary landing for Hologram! Mortos storms over to TOSS Abrahantes away! But then he locks eyes with Harley-gram. Harley-gram pets Mortos’ mane, but Dralistico tells Mortos to focus!
Komander runs the tightrope! SALUTE MOONSAULT!! Direct hit on LFI and Omaha is thunderous again! Komander puts Dralistico in, Hologram is back up! Torture rack for the PORTAL BOMB!! And then CIELITO LINDO!! Cover, TITANES WIN!!
Winners: Los Titanes del Aire, by pinfall
A powerful first match as a true duo, and LFI is in retreat! Will Komander & Hologram start to take over AEW? Will “Harley-gram” be along for the ride?
My Thoughts:
A great second part to Slam Dunk Weekend, and again I like just one hour Collision. As they did last night, the title match opened, and it was great stuff. But of course Death Riders retained, a random special episode was not where they’d lose the titles. Plus, The Cru went after Top Flight to restart their rivalry. Very good promo from Okada to talk down to the Hounds, and very good promo from Kyle & Callis to talk themselves up. Kyle VS Brody will be great stuff, but I feel like Okada and Brody can circle back around to a rematch for Dynasty. It’s mostly that Brody won’t take kindly to Okada calling him and Buddy “b*tches” again.
Great match from Bandido VS Johnny, and a very good promo segment with The Learning Tree. Bandido getting the mask back was good stuff, and I bet we’ll get one more ROH World Championship match between Bandido and Jericho. I would hope this time Bandido wins and we can start moving towards a Learning Tree fallout with Bill turning on Jericho. Supercard of Honor isn’t until May, maybe we can build up other names from within the ROH roster to start challenging for the top title. And very good promo from The Undisputed Kingdom to hype up both the eventual Garcia VS Cole 3 and FTR VS Kyle & Roddy 3 matches. Those might even be at Dynasty.
And of course we got story tie-ins of Harley with LFI. Harley got a good win over Aminah, and she of course played a part in Los Titanes winning over LFI. Rush needs to return to have a talk with Mortos, and of course this “Beauty & The Beast Mortos” story is going to keep on going until Harley-gram is exposed as Harley.
My Score: 8.8/10
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