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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/1/22)

This ain’t no joke!

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SmackDown 2022

It’s WrestleMania SmackDown!

Just 24 hours away from the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend, SmackDown holds the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal! Who puts their name on that golden Andre the Giant statue’s plaque?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 2022 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Mad Cap Moss wins.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat: Ricochet VS Angel Garza VS Humberto Carrillo; Ricochet wins and retains the title.
  • Naomi & Sasha Banks VS Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega; Naomi & Sasha win.
  • Jimmy Uso w/ Jey Uso VS Rick Boogs w/ Shinsuke Nakamura; No Contest.
  • Six Man Tag: Finn Balor, Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs VS Austin Theory & The Usos; Theory & The Usos win.

PLAY BY PLAY

2022 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal!

It’d be easier to say who isn’t in this match! Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, Mansoor, Mad Cap Moss, Drew Gulak, T-Bar, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Jinder Mahal, Shanky, both Viking Raiders, both members of The Hurt Business, Damian Priest, and even NXT’s Tommaso Ciampa are already waiting, but here come the Dirty Dawgs, Robert Roode & NXT Champion Dolph Ziggler, and even WWE United States Champion, Finn Balor! Who wins to immortalize their name alongside The Eighth Wonder of the World?

The bell rings and the brawl is on! T-Bar is after Mansoor, Gulak is after Ziggler, Truth goes after Gulak! Priest TOSSES Akira Tozawa and ELIMINATES him! Reggie stays safe on the apron, he avoids Tozawa’s sweep but Priest BOOTS him and ELIMINATES him! Truth says he and Priest are working together, but then Priest TOSSES and ELIMINATES Truth! Ciampa goes after Ziggler, then he helps Gulak and Priest go after T-Bar! The Viking Raiders work together on Jinder and Shanky! The Vikings TOSS and ELIMINATE Jinder! Then they go after Azeez! Roode is after Balor, Cedric dumps T-Bar over!

T-Bar holds onto ropes, choke grips Cedric, but Shelton Benjamin KNEES T-Bar and ELIMINATES him! Priest ROCKS Benjamin, fires off hands, stomps him in a corner, but Benjamin holds on. Azeez dumps Ziggler over but Roode helps out. The Hurt Business mugs Priest, Ciampa goes after Apollo, and Gulak goes after Moss! Moss runs, gets through the boot and runs Gulak over! Gulak gets up, Moss clotheslines Gulak up and out and ELIMINATES him! Then Happy Corbin shows up to cheer on his buddy. Corbin holds ropes for Moss to throw Balor, but Balor reverses to throw Moss!

Moss holds on and Corbin is upset. Moss isn’t sure what happened, but Ciampa throws Moss over! Corbin keeps Moss in and Corbin wants Moss to listen to him. He’s trying but Corbin is distracting him! Ciampa fires off CHOPS on Moss and works to push him out! Balor fights off the Hurt Business, the Dirty Dawgs go after them. Moss stomps Ciampa down, Shanky CLUBS Roode. Apollo throws Cedric out, GAMANGIRI and he ELIMINATES Cedric! Benjamin throws Apollo out, but Azeez is after Benjamin! Benjamin fires hands, but Azeez SHOVES and ELIMINATES Benjamin!

But then the Vikings attack Apollo and Azeez! Mansoor ROCKS Ciampa, slingshots but into a HEADBUTT! Ciampa KNEES Mansoor and ELIMINATES him! The Vikings ELIMINATE Apollo, but Azeez ELIMINATES Ivar! Shanky helps to ELIMINATE Erik! No more Viking Raiders but the biggest men stare down! Shanky says this is HIS ring! And he choke grips Azeez! Azeez breaks free, fires off hands, but Shanky knees low! Shanky throws haymakers, goes for a leg, but Azeez CLUBS him! Azeez scoops to push Shanky, but Balor and the others dump BOTH men out! DOUBLE ELIMINATION!

But now we’re down to our final six! Moss, Roode, Ziggler, Ciampa, Priest and Balor! And naturally, Priest is after Balor given their US Championship feud! Ciampa bumps Ziggler off buckles while Priest tries to lawn dart! Balor slips off but Priest choke grips! But Balor fights the slam, only for Priest to KICK, BELL CLAP and ROLLING ELBOW! But Balor PELES Priest! Balor dumps and ELIMINATES Priest! The fans fire up , Ciampa is after Ziggler but Roode dumps Ciampa! Balor is after Moss, Ciampa fights off both Dawgs. Ziggler SUPERKICKS and ELIMINATES Ciampa!

The Dawgs go after Balor but he fights them off! Balor trips Ziggler to DOUBLE STOMP! Roode kicks low to reel Balor in! But Balor trips Roode to DOUBLE STOMP! Balor tosses Ziggler but Roode is after Balor! Balor reverses but Roode holds ropes! Ziggler goes after Balor, but then Moss gets them all! Moss ELIMINATES the Dirty Dawgs, but Balor holds on! Balor skins the cat, dodges Moss and SLINGBLADES! Fans fire up as Balor runs, but Moss TOSSES Balor out and WINS!!

Winner: Mad Cap Moss (2022 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal winner)

Moss joins Corbin on the plaque! He lifts it up high, gives little golden Andre a kiss, and then gets a mic. “I did it! I did it all by myself! This is incredible!” Moss says that ever since he was little, he always looked up to Andre the Giant. Andre was his hero. Fans boo but Moss says Andre was beloved by everyone, just like him. Moss has always wanted to follow in this enormous footsteps, and he did it! So what do you call a battle royal named after the smartest Texans around? A Cattle Royal! Moss is laughing himself to the floor, but will this really lead Moss to bigger and better things?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat: Ricochet VS Angel Garza VS Humberto Carrillo!

The One and Only got beat twice by Los Lotharios, but mostly because the cousins helped each other. Will these Lethal Lovers be able to take this title from Ricochet with teamwork? Or will the fact that only one can be champion ruin that relationship?

SmackDown returns and Los Lotharios of course enter together. And they of course bring out the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam. They consider their options, and they find the young lady wearing a Mysterios merch shirt. Los Lotharios then go to the ring. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Angel y Humberto can ground the King of Flight.

Los Lotharios start to flank Ricochet at the bell. Garza takes off the tearaway pants, throws it at Ricochet, then dropkicks him down! Carrillo stomps away, Garza joins in, and fans boo as they have Ricochet in the corner. Garza sits on Ricochet and BITES fingers! Carrillo drops an elbow on Ricochet’s leg, then Garza KICKS Ricochet in the side. Carrillo stands on Ricochet’s head, they put Ricochet on the apron, and Carrillo sets Ricochet up for a PENALTY KICK ENZIGURI COMBO! Ricochet flounders away while Garza dusts off his hands. Fans boo as Los Lotharios fist bump. Los Lotharios drags Ricochet up to put him in a corner.

Garza eggs Ricochet on, but Ricochet swings hands! He ROCKS Garza, ROCKS Carrillo, KICKS Garza then KICKS Carrillo. Ricochet headlocks but Carrillo powers out, only for Ricochet to run Garza over! Then he gets around Carrillo, Carrillo standing switches, but Ricochet elbows out. Ricochet kicks but Garza blocks. Garza throws Ricochet but he flips up and over Carrillo! Then he DOUBLE RANAS Los Lotharios! Fans fire up with Ricochet, Carrillo staggers up while Garza bails out. Ricochet RAMS into Carrillo and goes to the apron, where he DECKS Garza! Carrillo runs in but into a shoulder.

Ricochet aims at Carrillo but Garza anchors the springboard! Carrillo goes up, SUPER ARM-DRAG! Fans boo again but Carrillo stalks Ricochet. But Garza stalks Carrillo! Carrillo turns around and Garza backs up. Garza asks for a hug, Carrillo gives it to him, and fans boo. Garza’s smirk shows he’s just waiting for an opening, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Carrillo stomps Ricochet while Garza soaks up heat. Garza blows kisses, then he and Carrillo bring Ricochet up. Ricochet fires off hands on Carrillo, ROCKS Garza, then CHOPS Carrillo! Ricochet ROCKS Garza more, then CHOPS him! Carrillo runs in and Garza sets Ricochet up, SPLASH! Garza hits a SPLASH, then feeds Ricochet to a pop-up to KICK him out of the air! Carrillo then LARIATS Ricochet down! Fans boo as Garza says, “You’re looking at the next Intercontinental Champion!” He and Carrillo drag Ricochet back up, they each have an armlock, but Dallas rallies behind Ricochet.

Los Lotharios double whip, Ricochet KICKS Garza! Carrillo ducks and the ENZIGURI hits Garza! Carrillo springboard ENZIGURIS Ricochet back! Cover, TWO! Carrillo is annoyed but Garza is upset. Carrillo rains down fists, lets off to soak up heat, and Garza covers! TWO, and now Carrillo is upset! Garza apologizes, but then Ricochet shoves Garza into Carrillo! Ricochet runs, Garza pops him up, but Ricochet RANAS Carrillo! Cover, but Garza SUPERKICKS it apart! Garza drags Ricochet up, reels him in and hooks the arms, but Carrillo rolls Garza up! TWO!! Now Garza is upset and Carrillo says it was only fair!

Dallas wants Los Lotharios to fight each other! They keep arguing, but Ricochet DOUBLE CROSSBODIES! Ricochet runs, CLOBBERS Carrillo, whips Garza but Garza reverses. Garza runs in but Ricochet boots him away! Ricochet somersaults to SHOTGUN Garza down! Fans fire up as Ricochet spins and sweeps Carrillo, for a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! All three men are down and Dallas rallies up! Ricochet gets to a corner, Garza runs in but Ricochet BOOTS him! Carrillo runs in, but Ricochet TOSSES him up and out! Garza runs in, only gets buckles, then an ENZIGURI! Fans fire up, Ricochet goes up top!

Garza anchors Ricochet’s foot! Garza ROCKS Ricochet, but Ricochet KICKS him down! Ricochet steadies himself, adjusts, but Carrillo CLUBS him down! Carrillo goes up to CLUB Ricochet more, but Ricochet holds off the suplex! Ricochet throws body shots then CLUBS Carrillo back. Ricochet stands Carrillo up to SUPER GOURD BUSTER onto Garza! Then Ricochet gets up to 630 SENTON!! Then RECOIL to Carrillo!! Cover, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

The One and Only just took out both Los Lotharios at the same time! He holds onto the gold, will he reach new heights with this title?

 

Naomi & Sasha Banks VS Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega!

This is what the Glow & Boss wanted the tag title match to be before other teams got involved. But will Team BAD be feeling real good about their chances? Or will the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions show that they still have a chance at WrestleMania?

SmackDown returns and Shayna Baszler & Natalya make their entrance first. The champions are already in the ring, as are Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan. The ring announcer plugs the Fatal 4 Way for WrestleMania, then the match begins. Mella has her mask and she starts against Sasha Moon- er, Banks. Mella DECKS Sasha and rains down forearms! Mella drags Sasha up, throws her out, then soaks up the heat. Natty & Shayna like the aggression, then Mella tags Vega. Sasha ROCKS Vega, KNEES Mella, then gets in, but into a FABULOUS KICK! Vega BOOTS Sasha down, drags her in, and covers, TWO!

Vega drags Sasha over, tags Mella, and they put Sasha in the corner to stomp away on. Mella drags Sasha back up and wraps on a HANGING NECKLOCK! Vega tags in, the ref counts Mella, and Mella lets off at 4. Vega gets in, takes a bow, METEORA! Vega shoves Sasha to a cover, TWO! Vega tags Mella back in, they mug Sasha, then cover, TWO! Mella wraps on a chinlock and she thrashes Sasha around. Naomi and the fans rally, and Sasha fights up. Sasha throws hands but Mella throws her down! Mella soaks up the heat, then pie faces Sasha. Sasha blocks the kick to KNEE Mella down! Both women are down, fans rally, hot tag to Vega!

Vega DECKs Naomi to deny the tag! She soaks up the heat, but misses in the corner! Sasha rolls Vega, tags Naomi, and Naomi ROUNDHOUSES Vega! Naomi then gets around, BUBBA BOMB! Body scissor clutch but Mella breaks it! The ref reprimands but Mella and Vega regroup. Only to get a DOUBLE SHOTGUN from Naomi! Naomi kips up, tags Sasha, and fans fire up. Naomi and Sasha go in, DOUBLE BOOT WASH! Mella flops out, Vega is down, VADER BOMB from Sasha! Naomi hits a SPLIT LEG MOONSAULT! Naomi & Sasha win!

Winners: Sasha Banks & Naomi, by pinfall

The other teams see they’ve got to worry about Boss ‘n’ Glow, but will this win over the champions be momentum enough for them to win at WrestleMania?

 

WWE shares Kayla Braxton visit to Ronda Rousey’s fight camp.

The Baddest Woman on the Planet was sparring with Shayna Baszler, and takes a break to talk. Ronda was just getting some reps in with Shayna badass. Well, her opponent at WrestleMania, Charlotte Flair, is a bit of a badass herself, but given what’s transpired between the two these last few weeks, Kayla is surprised Ronda isn’t more angry. Oh, Ronda is angry. But she won’t walk around all pissed off and wear herself out. She can control her anger and expertly apply it. So for now, she’ll relax, hang out with family and feed her baby. Her family will be front row when Charlotte either taps out or gets her arm ripped off as a souvenir for the Rousey family.

 

Charlotte Flair is here!

The SmackDown Women’s Champion, the Opportunity, the most decorated woman in WWE history, struts out on stage, and has a mic. “That video package was epic. I could watch that all day.” She means the video package that of course listed all of her accomplishments, as well as Ronda’s. Charlotte says the masterpiece she has created, causing Ronda immense pain is more beautiful, dramatic and poetic than Oscar winning movies. We all saw Ronda is angry. Ronda is angry that no matter what she tries, that she threatens to do, Charlotte will destroy her! Fans “What?” and she pretends she can’t hear them, then counters with “WOO~!”

But this is serious! Ronda acts like she has her emotions under control and that she’s cool. But we all know better, don’t we? Oh but you wanna know what’s cool? Charlotte Flair, that’s cool! The 13 time Women’s Champion is cool! The most dominant woman in sports entertainment is cool! Every woman wanting to be her and every man wanting to be with her is cool. Everyone wanting an autograph or picture is cool! Beating Ronda Rousey to a pulp and walking out of WrestleMania still SmackDown Women’s Champion is cool.

And Ronda, if you wanna lesson, stick with Charlotte and she’ll take you to school! As far as everyone is concerned, Charlotte has Ronda beat there, too, BITCH! The champion has said her piece, but will her challenger rip her to shreds?

 

Mad Cap Moss is shining up his trophy.

But then the claymore sword comes into view! Oh, right, Corbin still has possession of it. He tricked Moss and they both laugh at McIntyre, but will the Scottish Warrior be sure to take back Angela the claymore by any means necessary?

 

Rick Boogs rocks out!

He introduces himself, and he is here to rock with one-half of the future SmackDown Tag Team Champions, Shinsuke… NakamurrrrAAAAAA~! McAfee gets to rock out as the King of Strong Style makes his entrance, but then Austin Theory jumps the barriers and TRIPS McAfee up! McAfee hits desk, but then he gets up to chase Theory’s punk ass to the back! Theory ducks back into Mr. McMahon’s office again! But McAfee just BOOTS the door in! Vince is there to ask who McAfee thinks he is! Does he want to be fired? Does he want to lose his Mania match? No, obviously not. Then go do your job. Theory has a smug smirk as Vince is his shield, but will there be no stopping McAfee this Sunday?

Jimmy Uso w/ Jey Uso VS Rick Boogs w/ Shinsuke Nakamura!

Back to business, the Bloodline looks to take care of business before their Mania match! Will Jimmy make Boogs turn down the volume? Or will Boogs and Nakamura be rockin’ as they roll into WrestleMania and their SmackDown Tag Team title match?

SmackDown returns and the match begins. Boogs knocks Jimmy over, then drags him up! Boogs is still mad about Jimmy smashing that guitar on him, and he tosses Jimmy to the corner. Jimmy BOOTS Boogs away, then CHOPS! Boogs snarls, Jimmy CHOPS again! Boogs blocks the whip, reverses it, but Jimmy ducks to leap, into Boogs’ arms! Boogs curls Jimmy and fans count it out! Boogs stops at 9, takes a breath, and hits 10 for the SLAM! Fans fire up, Boogs drags Jimmy but Jimmy slips off and POSTS Boogs! Jimmy fires off on Boogs, has Boogs down and then stomps him! The Usos hold up the fingers, #WeTheOnes!

Jimmy uses headbutts to keep Boogs down, and he talks trash on Boogs. But Boogs trophy lifts even on his knees! Then Boogs stands back up, and he hits a FALL AWAY SLAM! Fans fire up while Boogs and Jimmy are both down! Wait, Theory is strolling back out. Theory doesn’t want beef with Nakamura, but he’s getting closer to McAfee. He takes some guy’s drink, sips it, and then SPLASHES McFee with the rest of it! Michael Cole gets McAfee to let Theory run off again, but BALOR attacks! Balor gets Theory in the ring, and it’s chaos! McAfee wants Balor to kick Theory’s ass while the match is thrown out and SmackDown goes to break!

No Contest

 

Six Man Tag: Finn Balor, Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs VS Austin Theory & The Usos!

HOLLA HOLLA! The Prince, the King of Strong Style and the rockin’ bard are all getting to go after Vince McMahon’s golden boy and the SmackDown Tag Team Champions! Which side will have all the momentum going into WrestleMania?

SmackDown returns as Theory is talking trash on McAfee while Nakamura pushes Jey to a cover. TWO, and Nakamura drops a knee! Cover again, TWO! Nakamura has Jey in a corner, for GOOD VIBRATIONS~! Nakamura lets off, then drags Jey up to fire off shots! Nakamura puts Jey on the top rope, rolls back, TOP SHELF KNEE! Cover, ONE! Nakamura drags Jey up but Jey ROCKS him with an uppercut! Theory tags in, he runs in to clothesline and knock Nakamura down! Slingshot STOMP, to a FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Fans chant, “Theory Sucks!” and McAfee is all behind that!

Theory pushes Nakamura around, then he runs, into a KNEE! Nakamura tags Boogs, Boogs trophy lifts and presses Theory! But Theory slips off to kick low! Theory ROCKS Boogs, bumps him off buckles, and he still has to talk crap on McAfee. But Boogs gut wrenches and throws Theory around and around, McAfee calls it a carnival ride! Get him all kinds of dizzy! Gut Wrench Suplex! Cover, TWO! Boogs drags Theory over, tag to Balor! They mug Theory, Balor CHOPS and CHOPS and fires off on Theory! Balor bumps Theory off buckles, stomps him down, then lets off at the ref’s count. Balor snapmares and runs to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO!

McAfee says what a start to this weekend if that had finished it. Balor headlocks, Theory powers out, things speed up and Balor kicks Theory away! Theory staggers, distracts the ref with talk of his teeth, and Jimmy CLOBBERS Balor from the ropes! Fans boo as the Usos get away with that, and Theory stomps away on Balor, copying how Balor would do it! Theory scrapes Balor out, tags Jimmy in and Jimmy SMACKS Balor off the desk! Jimmy puts Balor in, covers, TWO! Jimmy chokes Balor on the ropes, lets off, and Jey gets his cheap shot in! Theory keeps smugly smirking at McAfee which pisses McAfee off.

Jimmy brings Balor up but Balor ROCKS him back! And again, and again! But Jimmy keeps Balor from his team! Balor fires forearms and keeps reaching, but Jimmy whips. Balor hits buckles hard and drops down. Theory and the Usos all say, “All Day,” and then Jimmy tosses Balor out. Fans boo but Theory taunts McAfee as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Balor JAWBREAKERS free! He blocks Jimmy’s kick but gets the DRAGON WHIP! Cover, TWO! Balor gets up but Jimmy is right on him. Jimmy bumps Balor off buckles, fires off hands, but lets off as the ref counts. Jimmy mocks Bullet Club and runs in, but Balor dodges the splash! Jimmy hits post and then falls down! Fans fire up as Jimmy and Balor crawl, hot tag to Jey! Jey stomps Balor down, then SUPERKICKS Boogs! Fans boo as Jey taunts Nakamura, but Jey drags Balor up. But Balor back drops! Jey holds Balor back to sunset flip, but Balor rolls through to basement dropkick!

Fans rally up, Balor and Jey crawl, hot tags to Theory and Nakamura! Nakamura dodges Theory, Theory ducks a kick but not the WHEEL KICK! Nakamura sees Jimmy get in and gives him a KNEE! AX KICK! Then Nakamura DECKS Jey! Strike Fest for Theory, as well as KICK after KICK! Theory blocks one but not the ENZIGURI! Nakamura whips Theory corner to corner, runs in but blocks boots! Nakamura puts Theory in ropes, ROUNDHOUSE and SLIDING GERMAN! Cover, DOUBLE SUPERKICKS break it! The Usos high-five, but then Boogs DUMPS them both out! The Usos drag Boogs out with them to RAM him into steps!

Theory is up again, but so is Balor! Nakamura sees Balor, Theory is too slow to stopping him, hot tag back to Balor! The Prince rallies on Theory and fans fire up! Balor clotheslines Theory out, then he builds speed to FLY! Direct hit on Theory and the Usos! Balor puts Theory back in, runs and SLINGBLADES him down! Then he takes aim, SHOTGUN DROPKICK! Theory is down, Balor fights off the Usos to go up top, but Theory trips Balor up! Fireman’s carry and A T L!! Cover, Theory and the Usos win!

Winners: Austin Theory & The Usos, by pinfall

And Theory stares McAfee down the whole time. McAfee throws off his headset, goes to the apron, but Theory wants him to attack. Theory offers a free shot, Cole wants McAfee to cool off, and McAfee keeps a level head. McAfee returns to the desk, because he wants to keep this match on the books. Will McAfee be able to take this all out on Theory when WrestleMania Sunday finally rolls around?

 

Happy Corbin & Mad Cap Moss head to the ring.

They bring Angela the sword with them, because this WrestleMania SmackDown edition of Happy Talk has the sword as its special guest! What horrible jokes are these two human hyenas going to hurt our ears with? We find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Moss has the mic to welcome us to Happy Talk. Tonight is an extra special edition, it’ll be extra happy! Isn’t Corbin happy for Moss? Moss thinks the whole WWE Universe is happy for him, because he just won the Andre the Giant- Yeah, yeah, we get it, you won. As Corbin’s protégé, that’s what Corbin expects. Now Corbin could look back and say how he did it in 2016 as part of his WWE RawDown debut. But Corbin IS happy. He is euphoric! He might even be Euphoric Corbin after WrestleMania. And that’s because he has McIntyre’s sword! A recap package shows how he stole it during WrestleMania Raw’s 2v1 Handicap.

The Happy Folks have a good laugh as Corbin says this sword is going to be his lucky charm. Not that he needs luck. Look what he’s done at WrestleMania. He won the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, he retired Kurt Angle, and tomorrow, he will destroy McIntyre once and for all! So this sword is really more an insurance policy so that no one messes with him. With McIntyre, it was a fancy accessory. But in Corbin’s hand, it is a dangerous weapon! He could decapitate someone with it! IT’s named Angela after Corbin’s late mother. How sad! This sword needs a new, happier name! “Everyone, meet… Euphoria!”

Mad Cap, give us a joke. No, wait. Corbin has a joke! What does McIntyre’s sword and McIntyre’s mom have in common? He lost them both! Fans boo, that is a lowbrow joke. But here comes MCINTYRE!! And he’s anything but laughing. Moss hurries out but McIntyre DECKS him! Corbin’s stunned and fans tell him he’s F’d up! McIntyre gets a chair! Corbin tells McIntyre he doesn’t want this! Corbin could hurt him! McIntyre TOSSES the chair at Corbin’s head! Then he grabs Angela and swings her at him! Corbin barely gets away, so McIntyre starts throwing the armchairs and velvet ropes out!

McIntyre spills the whiskey, then grabs Angela again, to SLASH the table in half!! Will that table be Corbin when McIntyre finally gets him 1v1 at WrestleMania? McIntyre then stabs the sword into the ring for fire and pyro to go off!


My Thoughts:

Wow, I thought WrestleMania Raw was disappointing. And I even feel like I was generous giving that one an 8 outta 10. They put on BOTH advertised matches in the first half hour! I would’ve at least thought the title match would be in the second hour. I guess opening with the battle royal makes sense, it gets time to breathe, and it sets up how tonight ended. Moss is great in the ring, but this was solely a story based win. It allowed Corbin to say all that in his promo during Happy Talk, and of course McIntyre was going to storm out there and take his sword back. I’m thinking McIntyre defies go-home math and wins to finally shut Corbin up.

The Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat was booked just how I figured it would be: Los Lotharios make it a handicap match for the majority, but they start to argue when it finally comes to going for the cover, and that allows Ricochet to win. What a great spot going right from 630 senton to Recoil. Ricochet of course retains, and hopefully they actually book him better after this. Them plugging the Women’s Fatal 4 Way Tag was rather ridiculous. Wasn’t having all four teams present the plug itself? Why do they think people only watch SmackDown and not Raw? Waste of time, and they also went back to giving us short matches. I continue to fear Mella & Vega retain when we have better teams in the match with them.

SO MUCH recaps I had to skip tonight. Yes, all well produced, outside of maybe Lesnar VS Roman having Metallica’s Death Magnetic and All Nightmare Long far past their relevancy. Ronda had a decent promo with Kayla but probably because she was able to get a few takes in before the one we saw. And Charlotte had a decent promo that just kinda rehashed the usual Heel tropes of putting herself over, putting Ronda down and reminding us what Charlotte’s down. Chances are, having both women’s titles on the same night means Becky and Ronda retain, one of them confronts the other and that sets up Becky VS Ronda 1v1, three years after their feud going into WM35.

There was decent integration between the Theory-McAfee story and Jimmy VS Boogs. Going from 1v1 to a Six Man was fine because it gave us a really good match. But of course Theory gets a win pinning Balor, and he’s got the momentum going into his match. I would hope McAfee wins for that reason, but there’s any which way Theory could still win despite the math. Not that it’ll matter, Vince clearly wants Theory to face Balor more and take that US title off him, even though Priest is still owed a shot. Hell, Priest should’ve been given his title shot for Mania, but nope, Vince doesn’t care about midcard titles or Balor while he has Lesnar VS Roman coming.

My Score: 7/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (2/27/24)

The Czar and… HIM!

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NXT White 'n' Gold Era

Ilja Dragunov confronts Carmelo Hayes face to face!

Before they once again battle for the NXT Championship, Ilja Dragunov dares Carmelo Hayes to look him in the eyes! Will Melo man up and do it?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kelani Jordan VS Kiana James w/ Izzi Dame; Kiana wins.
  • The Good Brothers VS Malik Blade & Edris Enofe; The Good Brothers win.
  • Roxanne Perez VS Jakara Jackson w/ Lash Legend; Roxie wins.
  • DIJAK VS Luca Crusifino; Dijak wins.
  • Von Wagner w/ Robert Stone VS Lexis King; wins.
  • Gigi Dolin VS Jaida Parker w/ OTM; wins.
  • NXT Heritage Cup Championship: Noam Dar w/ The Meta Four VS ??? w/ The No Quarter Catch Crew; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Ilja Dragunov is here!

The NXT Champion heads to the ring and the fans are all fired up, because the Mad Dragon is not going to wait any longer! “Carmelo Hayes! You disgusting rodent of a man! Let’s go!! I’m not in the mood to wait around all night. This is Stand & Deliver season!” The fans fire up for that! Dragunov says what did Melo say last week? That if this isn’t about the NXT Championship, there’s nothing to talk about? What Melo is looking for is right here. So come on out of your little hiding place, and let’s talk about it. Melo makes his entrance and the fans boo, and now security moves in to be a wall between Dragunov and HIM.

Melo has a mic of his own to say, “Ilja, you the NXT Champion, for now. But you ain’t the superstar that make this brand go, I am. And it’s been that way since I stepped on the scene with that ruthless aggression. Y’see this right here, Ilja? This security. They’re Melo’s security. And they’re here to do whatever it is I need them to do. Look at you. You still pissed off that I used you, huh, Ilja? That I made Trick doubt the Great Ilja Dragunov, with your custom suits, so honorable and all your integrity. Ugh, you make me sick.” Fans boo and tell Melo to “Shut The Hell Up!” Melo says he can tell Dragunov is spiteful.

Dragunov says after what Melo did, he is damn right about Dragunov! And that is why Melo isn’t stepping in that ring with him. Not until he sees a contract and Ava makes this official. Because, Ilja, losing that NXT Championship is your biggest fear. And Melo knows Ilja isn’t the type to try and take Melo out before the match. So go ahead, get it all in order, and then they can talk business. Fans boo more but Melo says Dragunov has until the end of the night. Dragunov drops the mic, rushes up, and he CLOBBERS security guard after security guard! Melo falls back, the remaining guards form a circle around him.

Dragunov stays back, he raises the belt, but will Melo still get what he wants?

 

NXT Media catches up with Ava Raine.

Just before the show began, reporters asked the NXT General Manager about the big show planned tonight. Yes, this is a big lead-up to Stand & Deliver. Then she spots Gigi Dolin and asks what’s up. Gigi says she just wanted to talk about what’s next for herself. Absolute, this is a competitive Women’s Division, they can definitely talk it out. Awesome! They went to Ava’s office, where Jaida Parker was already waiting. How’d she get in here? Jaida says she had a key. Now, no disrespect, but they gotta talk about Jaida’s future. She ran through Rizzo, and- Gigi says great win, yeah. But Gigi’s meeting was first, line starts behind her.

Jaida says she doesn’t wait in any lines, and especially not behind Gigi. Gigi says Jaida should learn who she’s talking to. Hold on, World Star’s never mentioned Gigi. Well, she’ll give them something to talk about then. Ava has them both stop. They’re not gonna World Star in here. What’s next for both of them will be each other. So now they can leave, starting with Jaida. Jaida heads out, will she be making World Star news after getting toxic with Gigi?

 

Kelani Jordan VS Kiana James w/ Izzi Dame!

The Gym Princess has been getting the spotlight, and that put her on the Calculator’s hit list! Will Kiana prove she’s still the future of NXT and no one else? Or will Kelani’s potential be off the charts?

The bell rings and Kiana circles with Kelani. They tie up, Kiana powers Kelani to a corner and gets up in her face. The ref counts, Kelani avoids the elbow, and she wags her finger. Kiana runs up, but Kelani wrenches and wristlocks. Kiana rolls, handsprings, and wrenches back to YANK the arm! Kelani spins through then goes up and up to ARABIAN PRESS ARM-DRAG! The fans fire up and Kelani storms up, but Kiana rams her low! Kiana whips, Kelani goes up and headscissors to RANA Kiana away! Kiana bails out, Kelani runs up, but Izzi plays roadblock! Kelani goes up and out to ASAI MOONSAULT them both then! The fans fire up as NXT goes picture in picture!

Kelani tells Izzi that’s what she gets, then she drags Kiana into the ring. Cover, TWO! Kiana sits up, into Kelani’s SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Kelani drags Kiana up, whips her to a corner hard, then storms up. Kelani whips corner to corner, Kiana reverses but Kelani goes up again,. But Kiana blocks the rana to SLAM Kelani down, then literally KICKS her out of the ring! Izzi is there to taunt Kelani, and Kiana goes out after her. Kiana drags Kelani up to SMACK her off the apron! Kiana then CHOPS Kelani, high fives Izzi, then RAMS Kelani into the apron! The ref reprimands, the ring count climbs, but Kiana puts Kelani in.

Kiana talks trash while she stalks Kelani, then brings her up. Kelani throws body shots, only for Kiana to knee her low! Kiana drags Kelani up to TOSS her to a corner. Kiana handsprings, runs in and RAMS into Kelani! Kiana then brings Kelani out to kitchen sink knee! Cover, TWO! Kelani stays in this but Kiana scowls as she looms over her. Kiana taunts Kelani, CHOKES her on the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts. Izzi laughs at Kelani while she crawls away. Kiana drags Kelani up to CLUB her down, then goes to ropes. Kiana whips but Kelani turns knee into roll-up! TWO, and Kelani gets around to backslide! TWO!

Kiana stands, knees Kelani low again, then drags her around. Kiana suplexes, GOURD BUSTERS, and covers, TWO! Kelani toughs it out but Kiana clamps onto her for a seated cobra twist! Kelani endures being stretched and bent! Kelani fights up and throws body shots. NXT returns to single picture but Kiana knees low! Kiana whips, Kelani ducks ‘n’ dodges, DOUBLE CROSSBODIES collide! Izzi is worried for Kiana while both women are down. The fans rally for Kelani as she sputters, but Kiana crawls her way over. Kiana throws a forearm, but Kelani forearms back! Kiana forearms again, but Kelani gives it back!

The fans rally up but Kiana kicks low. Kiana back suplexes, Kelani lands out, and she CLOBBERS Kiana! And again! And then cartwheel BACK ELBOW! Kelani kips up, the fans fire up, and Kelani blocks a kick to step-over WHEEL KICK! Cover, TWO! Kelani is frustrated but she watches Kiana rise. Kelani handsprings but Kiana catches her! Kiana pops Kelani around but Kelani slips free, rebounds, hurdles and handsprings again! Clinch and FLATLINER! The fans fire up as Kelani pushes Kiana to a cover, TWO!! Kiana survives and Kelani growls. Izzi is worried but Kelani drags Kiana up. Kelani hooks Kiana up but Kiana slips free to KNEE low again!

Kiana puts Kelani on the apron, but Kelani RAMS into her! Kelani slingshots up and over, keeps moving, but Kiana SPINEBUSTERS! High stack, TWO!! Kiana loses her cool as Kelani stays in this! Kiana drags Kelani back up, reels her in, but Kelani cradle counters! TWO!! Kiana kicks low, whips, but Kelani holds ropes! Kelani kicks, Kiana blocks and flips Kelani to the apron! Kelani ROUNDHOUSES Kiana back, but Kiana distracts the ref. Kelani slingshots but Izzi YANKS her right down!! The fans boo but Izzi gets Kelani in the ring! Kiana hurries to drag Kelani in, for the DEAL BREAKER! Cover, Kiana wins!

Winner: Kiana James, by pinfall

The Izzi insurance policy strikes again! Will nothing stop these two in their hostile takeover of NXT?

 

NXT shares footage from after last week’s show.

Roxanne Perez was still seething over someone else swooping in and getting a title shot before her. Last time was Tatum and Lola, this time was Shotzi and Lash Legend! Is the universe just against her? And leave the broken TV where it is, it doesn’t matter! But Jakara says, “Check, please.” This is just how a superstar operates. Lash Legend stays ready so she ain’t gotta get ready. That’s something Roxie needs to understand. Roxie says Lash was just in the right place at the right time. Unlike Jakara right now. Oh, whatever, you lost, just go- Roxie fires off on Jakara! The rest of the locker room rushes in, but this explains tonight’s match. Will Roxie’s wrath wreck Miss Jackson?

 

The Good Brothers VS Malik Blade & Edris Enofe!

In a shocking return last week, Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows ran in, wrecked some top teams in NXT, and then staked their claim to the top spot! Will the Machine Gun and Big LG make NXT Too Sweet? Or will they learn Malik & Edris are far from rookies?

NXT returns as Malik & Edris make their entrance. The teams sort out and Malik starts against Karl. Karl kicks low, bumps Malik off buckles, then fires off haymakers. The ref counts but Karl stomps away until 4. The fans fire up, Karl talks some smack on Malik, then storms back up. Karl whips Malik to ropes, but Malik ducks ‘n’ dodges, cartwheels and DROPKICKS! The fans fire up for “Malik! Da Freak!” as he wrenches and brings Karl over. Tag to Edris, they double whip Karl to ropes, then double drop toehold! Then they DOUBLE DROPKICK! Gallows gets in but he gets DOUBLE DROPKICKS, too!

The ref reprimands and Gallows bails out. Edris runs at Karl but Karl UPPERCUTS him away! Then UPPERCUTS him again! Karl whips, Edris goes up and over and keeps moving, to RANA Karl away! Karl flounders, Edris runs up to CHOP! Tag to Malik, he and Edris double whip Karl again. Double shoulders knock Karl down, then Malik sets up so Edris can run and POMMEL HORSE SPLASH! Edris sets up now and Malik runs, step-up ELBOW DROP! The fans fire up for the combo moves and Malik brings Karl around. Gallows shouts at Malik and that’s a distraction enough for Karl to pull Malik’s ear!

Karl puts Malik in the corner, tags Gallows, and the Good Brothers mug Malik! The ref counts, the Good Brothers let off and Karl eggs Edris on. Gallows digs his boot in, stands on Malik, then lets off. Gallows brings Malik up, suplexes and puts him on the ropes, to then run and BOOT Malik down! The fans are torn as Big LG drags Malik up. Malik throws body shots but Gallows UPPERCUTS! Malik sits back, only for Gallows to rain down elbows! Gallows clamps on a chinlock and he grinds Malik down. The fans rally as Malik endures and fights up. Malik throws body shots, but Gallows HEADBUTTS him down!

Gallows puts Malik in the corner to fire body shots, then he UPPERCUTS! Malik sits right down and the fans fire up. Gallows stomps Malik, tags Karl, and Karl stomps Malik. Karl clamps on a chinlock and he grinds Malik into the mat. Malik endures, the fans rally up, and Malik fights to his feet. Malik throws elbows but Karl CLUBS Malik. Karl reels Malik in for a back suplex, but Malik lands out of it! Malik sunset flips Karl, TWO! Karl stands up but Malik dodges him, hot tag to Edris! Edris dodges Karl to BLAST Gallows! Edris rallies on Karl with big clotheslines, then he runs to SLING-DOG! Gallows runs in, Malik & Edris DUMP him back out!

Edris kicks Karl, reels him in, JACKHAMMER! Malik LEAPS at Gallows, but Gallows catches him! Gallows SHOVES Malik into steel steps! Edris BOOTS Gallows from the apron! Edris then climbs, aims at Karl, 450- NO, Edris has to roll through as Karl moves! Karl comes back to SPINEBUSTER! Tag to Gallows and the Good Brothers get Edris up. MAGIC KILLER!! Cover, Good Brothers win!

Winners: The Good Brothers, by pinfall

But before the celebration can begin, Chase U is here! Andre Chase says if the Good Brothers wanna interrupt a Chase U victory, then they’re gonna learn that karma’s a bitch! Duke Hudson says Gallows & Anderson aren’t the first team to come into NXT thinking they can just do what they want. But this time, Chase U’s backs aren’t turned. And y’know what that calls for, Mr. Chase? Oh, yes. These two deserve an Andre Chase University sized- WAIT! Axiom & Nathan Frazer storm out here! Frazer says here we go again. Mr. Chase, Duke, congrats on being #1 contenders. But when it comes to Gallows & Anderson, Axiom & Frazer have next.

Good Brothers wanna jump people from behind? Well, at least when a team like LWO shows up to NXT, they confront people to their face. Axiom adds that he and Frazer have no problem dealing with Good Brothers. Duke says not if Chase U gets them first. But then speaking of LWO! Cruz & Wilde are up top, they DOUBLE MISSILE DROPKICK the Good Brothers! And all the teams go after Gallows & Anderson! Gallows & Anderson bail out, and then we see the Wolf Dogs watching from the perch! The NXT Tag Team Champions are very amused at all the teams fighting each other, but will they be ready for when Chase U looks to be a Roadblock next week?

 

Ava Raine is on the phone.

She confirms to whoever this is, that there will be some big title matches for Roadblock, it will be a great show. Someone walks in, and it’s Oba Femi! Ava excuses herself from the call and asks what’s up. Oba wants to know who is his next “victim.” Ava says she is figuring that out because there are many guys who’d love a shot at the North American Championship. Oba says they might say that now, but when they get in the ring with him, they will regret those words. But then in steps Ilja! Champion stares down champion, and Oba smiles before he leaves. Dragunov says he and Ava need to talk. Is The Czar going to acquiesce to Melo’s demands?

 

Roxanne Perez VS Jakara Jackson w/ Lash Legend!

We saw how this match came about, now we’re gonna see how it goes! Will The Prodigy use her new edge to cut down one of the Meta Four? Or will her anger get the better of her this close to Stand & Deliver?

NXT returns as Jakara makes her entrance, Lash right by her side. The bell rings and the two rush in! Roxie hits a THESZ PRESS and fast hands! Jakara gets away, goes out, but Roxie runs up! Lash gets Jakara away so Roxie stops herself. Roxie rushes out there but Lash stands in the way. Jakara runs up but Roxie avoids the sucker punch to ROCK Jakara! Roxie pushes Jakara in but Jakara kicks back! Lash talks trash and Jakara puts Roxie in. Jakara runs up to DROPKICK Roxie to a corner! The fans rally, Jakara fires body shots on Roxie, then says she’s Miss Jackson! CHOP! Roxie sputters and crawls, Jakara talks trash, but Roxie elbows her back!

Roxie puts Jakara in a corner and UPPERCUTS! Roxie CHOPS, CHOPS, and then shoves Jakara down. Roxie goes up and up and LIONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Jakara survives but Roxie got her with legs more than anything. Roxie puts Jakara on ropes, whips her, but Jakara reverses. Roxie stops herself to SOBAT! Roxie then reels Jakara in for a facelock! Jakara endures, they go around and around, and Roxie CLUBS Jakara down. Roxie hops on, but Lash reaches out to save Jakara! The fans boo, but then the ref EJECTS Lash! Lash protests but she did it in plain sight! Jakara is devastated, but then Roxie goes after her!

Jakara gest around, pulls hair, EDGE-O-MATIC! Cover, TWO! Roxie goes to ropes, Jakara runs up and trips Roxie! Jakara drags Roxie to the apron to CLUB her, then Jakara shoves her back in. Jakara clamps onto Roxie with chicken wings but the fans rally up. Jakara shifts to a motorcycle stretch and she leans back to really pull on the arms! The ref counts as Jakara pulls hair now! Roxie pops free to cover, TWO! Jakara SMACKS Roxie off the mat, she pie faces her around, then stands her up. Roxie SLAPS Jakara! Jakara SLAPS back! Roxie SLAPS again, now it’s a SLAP fight! Roxie gets Jakara good, then fires off body shots!

The fans fire up with Roxie and she whips. Jakara reverses but Roxie CLOBBERS her! Roxie SMACKS Jakara, then SHOTGUNS her down! Roxie kips up, fires up, and she runs in to UPPERCUT in the corner! Roxie wrenches and clinches, RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! And then CROSSFACE!! Jakara taps, Roxie wins!

Winner: Roxanne Perez, by submission

Roxie lets go and has a sinister smile on her face. Jakara said you say ready so you don’t have to get ready, so is this prove Roxie is ready for one more shot at the title?

 

Thea Hail talks with Jacy Jayne & Jazmyn Nyx.

So Thea talked with Riley. He came crawling back? Men always do. Because the women don’t chase the men, the men chase the women. Right… No. It was the opposite. He was really excited to go on the date with Thea, but then the girl he went out with wasn’t the girl he expected. So he said they’re better off as friends. Wait, what’d he expect? Uh, duh, the happy, energetic, fun-loving Thea. Oh, so the old Thea. Well, sorta. So, the Thea that was a loser? What? No, not this Thea. The old Thea! That Thea was a loser. Well, Fallon- Fallon Henley? She’s a moron! She practically begs people to be her friend!

The Thea that Jacy saw, who desperately needed help in her Chase U shirt and uncontrollable energy? Trust Jacy, Thea is much better off. What about Duke & Chase? They’re losers! They’re all losers! If not for Jacy, Chase U would be gone. True… But then in walks Kiana & Izzi. Kiana compliments Jacy on the calendars. Didn’t they sell out three times already? Thank you! Someone gets it! Jacy tells Kiana that Thea wanted to actually take advice from Fallon. Pfft, Fallon? Really? They all laugh and say Fallon is the last person to listen to on anything. Agreed. So, tell Kiana more about the calendar.

Jacy & Jazmyn leave with Kiana & Izzi, and Thea sighs. A loser? Seriously? Is Thea starting to see Jacy’s true colors aren’t Chase U black and red?

 

The Wolf Dogs are backstage.

Bron Breakker is talking to Baron Corbin about spicing up the jacket. Bron has an airbrush guy, they can do something about this. Corbin doesn’t care, this isn’t Spring Break 99, he’s not spray-painting his jacket. Okay, okay, fine. Maybe just put some tanner on his pasty face then. The Good Brothers walk by and Corbin asks if they had a rough night. The tag division’s got some depth, huh? Karl says look, it’s Corbin acting like he loves this place. Corbin says they got jokes. NXT reinvigorated Corbin’s career! Reinvigorated! Corbin’s back to kicking asses. Back to kicking asses! And he won these tag titles all by himself! All by him-

Wait. Corbin, c’mon, stop messing around. Corbin tells Bron he’s just messing around, Mr. SmackDown. That was a really good Spear from Bron last Friday, right? Gallows says these are the NXT Tag Team Champions? Then this is gonna be easier than they thought. Karl agrees, and while the Dogs have their jokes, it stoked a flame inside the Good Brothers that’s been gone a long time. See, Good Brothers came here like Corbin did eight months ago. And he doesn’t like that, because he knows it won’t take them that long to become NXT Tag Team Champions. Corbin says last week, they said Corbin was a comedian.

But what’s really funny is the sound Karl’s face made when AJ Styles slapped him across the mouth. Bron adds an “OHHH~!” Karl says then you go ahead and try something. Gallows says not yet. Bron says between the four of them, yeah it’s a good time, he and Corbin make jokes. But when the bell rings, the dogs come out, and they destroy everyone. Good catchphrase. Let’s see if the dogs get past Chase U. And if they do, Good Brothers will be waiting. Is The OC ready to Stand & Deliver?

 

DIJAK VS Luca Crusifino!

#HardJustice and the Legal Eagle had a… disagreement on how to treat Joe Gacy. Luca believes no one is above the law, but Dijak says he IS the law! Cliche as that may sound, will Dijak prove to Luca that might makes right? Or will Luca bring Dijak to true justice?

NXT returns and Luca makes his entrance. The bell rings and the two tie up. Dijak knees low, then ROCKS Luca! Luca staggers, Dijak talks trash but Luca fires off body shots and haymakers! Luca CLUBS Dijak, swings more, but Dijak pulls hair! Luca avoids the haymaker to clothseline Dijak up and out! Luca runs to WRECK Dijak, and Dijak tumbles up and over treh desk!! The fans fire up and Luca gets Dijak in. But he can’t lift Dijak! Dijak throws hands, Luca hits back, the fans fire up. Luca runs up but Dijak ELBOWS him! Dijak goes up, leaps, but into an UPPERCUT! Luca runs corner ot corner to CANNONBALL!

The fans fire up with Luca, and he drags Dijak up. Dijak still fights the back suplex, throws more hands and then CLUBS Luca down. Luca clutches his back but Dijak stomps him. Dijak stalks Luca to a corner, then throws elbow after elbow! The ref counts, Dijak CLUBS Luca in the chest. Dijak stands Luca back up, and CHOPS! Luca screams in pain and the fans “WOO~!” Dijak says how’s that? He CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Luca CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! They fire hands, Dijak SUPERKICKS Luca back! The fans are thunderous as Dijak reels Luca, TIME TO- NO, Luca slips free! And he back suplexes! Only for Dijak to land out and LARIAT!

The fans fire up while both men rise. Dijak choke grips, but Luca fights with elbows and a LARIAT! And another LARIAT! Dijak stays up, so Luca runs to LARIAT! Dijak is still up, so Luca runs again! LARIAT! Dijak swings, Luca gets around, BIG back suplex! The fans fire up while both men are down again. Luca roars, runs corner to corner, and clotheslines in the corner! Luca keeps moving, but the CYCLONE BOOT finds him! Dijak roars, drags Luca up and torture racks, FEAST YOUR EYES! Cover, Dijak wins!

Winner: Dijak, by pinfall

Hard Justice might have won out, but Luca put up a hell of a fight! And wait! Here comes Joe Gacy! He is tearing free of the straitjacket! Dijak is furious, he shouts at Gacy, and Luca finds Tony D’Angelo’s crowbar?! Luca CLOBBERS Dijak, and then Gacy goes after Dijak! Gacy CLUBS away, sending Dijak to the back! And as for Luca, well, the D’Angelo Family is watching backstage. The Don confirms with Stacks and Rizzo, he saw what we all saw. Tony tells Stacks to go get Luca. Right now? No, Tony has bigger business to handle. Then Stacks can go get him. Stacks says, “You got it, boss.” Does Tony mean all this in a good way or a bad way?

 

Backstage interview with Noam Dar & Oro Mensah.

Kelly Kincaid spooks Supernova 11 while he was drinking, and he says don’t do that! He has PTSD from the sneak attack by Von & Stone! She doesn’t even care! Kelly apologizes, and then asks that the Catch Clause means he could be facing anyone from the No Quarter Catch Crew. Who would Dar prefer to face tonight? Dar says Meta Four is ready for anything. Tonight, Jakara took Roxie to her limit, Lash had two matches in one night, and in the second one, with no preparation, she nearly won the NXT Women’s Championship. Kelly, who is doing it like them? NOBODY~! Dar & Oro high-five.

Dar says Catch Clause this, Catch Clause that, it can be Papa Gulak, Uncle Mullet, it can be… Uh, who’s the fourth guy? Oro says just call him “new guy.” It could be the new kid or Charlie the Chocolate Factory. The result remains the same: Meta Four, five trophies, one picture. Check, please! Back to you, Vic & Booker! Dar’s always wanted to do that. But will all the confidence in the world not save Dar from whoever the NQCC is sending his way?

 

Lyra Valkyria is here!

The Morrigan heads to the ring and the fans cheer. The NXT Women’s Champion gets the mic, and says first thing’s first: We all wish Shotzi a speedy recovery. The fans cheer that, and Lyra wants to make it known that when Shotzi makes it back, Lyra owes her the title shot. And we gotta give Lash her flowers, she showed up, showed out and stepped up. And Lyra still has the battle wounds to prove it. But Lyra promised us she’d still be here the champion, and well, she’s a woman who keeps her promises. And last week, Lyra made Tatum a promise. So trust her, no one is as shocked as Lyra that Tatum held up her end! Time to give her what she’s earned, right?

So then, Tatum, please come out here. The superfan hurries her way out, but from the crowd side! Lyra says of course. But Tatum gets into the ring with Lyra and says it is so good to see her. Lyra, last week was so hard for Tatum. And then Ava Raine came out to issue an open challenge just so someone else can get near her! “My sweet, sweet dove, in danger of losing her title!” Yes, but, Lyra didn’t. And Tatum actually did what she was asked to do. OF COURSE! Because Tatum would do anything for Lyra. And Tatum has proven her devotion for her! Er, uh… She proved she’s a woman of her word. Yes, that she did.

And Lyra did promise Tatum a surprise. So is Tatum ready? Tatum closes her eyes and holds out her hands but Lyra says no, she can keep her eyes open, it’s not like that. Oh, okay. Lyra spoke with Ava, some calls were made, and next week at Roadblock, Lyra & Tatum team together! OMG Tatum knew it! Lyra said it was a one time thing, but Tatum knew that they’d be together forever and ever and- Whoa, whoa, hold on. It is not them teaming as friends. So more than friends? As a team, taking on The Kabuki Warriors for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships! The fans fire up and Tatum can barely speak!

Tatum puts it together. Tatum.. And Lyra… against Asuka & Kairi for the tag titles? But wait! Ridge Holland comes out here now? He apologizes and says he is very happy about their opportunity, and he wishes them the best of luck in becoming champions together. But if they’re finished, then please leave because he has something very important to get off his chest. The fans boo Ridge stepping on Tatum’s moment, but Lyra & Tatum do exit. Ridge says he is a man of action more than he is of words. But it seems his actions as of late have gotten him in this predicament. When he retaliates, it is always Ridge who takes it “too far.”

But whether he likes it or not, whether he understands the bias, he is still here to apologize for all his actions. Fans boo, but Ridge says he was defending himself against Gallus. He was defending his family! There was no true malice behind it. But wait, the lights go out! And then the tron lights up! A voice says, “Truth will ultimately prevail. But there is pain in bringing it to light.” The lights go out again, and then someone is behind Ridge! They SMASH him with a chair! The fans chant “TEN! TEN! TEN!” because yes, it is TYE DILLINGER!! Or rather, Shawn Spears! The Chair Man is in NXT! The fans lose their minds, they didn’t think it was him! Is he going to take NXT to a perfect ten?

 

Brooks Jensen confronts Oba Femi!

Jensen says if Oba’s still looking for a challenger, then he’s that guy. Oba chuckles and asks if Jensen is sure. Because Jensen seems to be confused. Jensen says Briggs told him to grow some balls, so he put up that fight and busted Briggs up. Now if Oba takes the challenge, Jensen will bust him up! Oba stares Jensen down. Standing up after a fight is one thing, but after Oba is done, Jensen won’t even be able to walk away. Oba heads out, will he be right about his next “victim” soon regretting their decision?

 

Von Wagner w/ Robert Stone VS Lexis King!

Though they failed against The Meta Four, Von & Stone are still proud of the fight they put up. However, effort doesn’t matter to The Drama King, only the results. Will Lexis make big bad Von bow down to him? Or will King be thrown off his throne and right through a table?

 


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Andrew’s TNA Xplosion Results & Match Ratings: 2.22.2024

We get Dirty Dango and Mike Bailey in action, as well as the Around the Ring interview with Speedball Mike Bailey!

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Let’s remember this took place right before the No Surrender pre-show, so there’s still No Surrender hype in the announcer points.

Therefore, we already know most of how the Top 5 turns out and if the allusions for momentum pay off…but Xplosion has established itself as more than just a wrestling show. We get to see a few of the undercard players get some ring time, we get wholesome interviews with Gia in full Southern Fried charming glory, and we always get some nice nostalgia moment with the throwback match. Its a quick and dirty 45 minutes, so its hard to be mad.

Speaking of dirty, he’s in the main event!

 

Ratings:

  • Mike Bailey vs Jai Vidal: Speedball wins via Ultima Weapon – ** 3/4
  • Laredo Kid vs Dirt Dango w/Oleg Prudius & Alpha Bravo: Dango wins via Down & Dirty – ** 1/2

 

Results:

Mike Bailey vs Jai Vidal

Vidal tries a cheap shot, Bailey blocks, puts his hands behind his back and says “try again”, he ducks the slap. Gives Vidal one more chance and just front kicks him when he winds up. Vidal is on the receiving end of early strikes and the Bailey Kick Flurry. Running Boot sends Vidal crashing to the floor, Triangle Moonsault connects and its all Speedball so far. Bailey throws Vidal back in, but Jai slips out and Bailey loses track of him when he goes under the ring. So Jai gets behind him, picks the leg and throws Bailey into the stairs.

Back in the ring, Jai is hitting a few Open Hand Smacks and a Tornado DDT. Jai goes for the SLAYmore Kick, but Bailey catches it and starts lighting up Jai with kicks into the Running Shooting Star Press. Vidal ducks a few Buzzsaw Kicks but Bailey holds one to catch him when he thinks he’s safe. Tornado Kick to the corner misses, Jai uses the ropes to keep distance, trips Bailey and then lands the Double Stomp into the SLAYmore Kick…but Bailey kicks out!

Jai lands a few Slaps that just piss off Speedball, he stands up, they trade shots, Jai misses the Yakuza kick, Tornado Kick lands into Ultima Weapon for the Bailey’s win!

Don West, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me! Trending Topics of the week:

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Around the Ring with Gia Miller has Mike Bailey on it today. They start off with Bailey revealing he went to Cooking School and both he and Gia enjoying cooking. Ahh I relate to Bailey on the can’t bake aspect because its too specific and basically science. Bailey’s thing he created that he hasn’t been able to remake is a Pulled Pork Brie Grilled Cheese. I’m only mentioning that since it sounds delicious. 

TNA+ Flashback Moment: Jeff Hardy vs Bully Ray, No Surrender 2012

This is right towards the end of the TNA height, still solid matches and memories, but its kind of like watching events from WCW 1999. 

Laredo Kid vs Dirt Dango w/Oleg Prudius & Alpha Bravo

Ahh he mixed it up saying he hates Lucha Libre this time. 

Dango keeps up with Laredo a little until a Headscissors sends Dango flying, Bravo and Prudius try to block Dango which causes Laredo to pivot. Wrecking Ball Dropkick for Bravo into a big Moonsault into bodies and Laredo is rolling.

They get back in the ring, Forearm Smash into a Michinoku Driver and Uno Mas Moonsaults, but Bravo distracts him on two and a Release Side Suplex gives Dango the edge. Dango just fires Laredo into the corners a few times and goes for a quick cover, but barely gets a 2. Chin Lock into a Sleeper gives Dango the heelish “rest hold” advantage. Laredo tries to fire but Dango stops it with a Knee. Near fall again and Dango goes into a Crossface to keep the Luchador grounded.

Laredo slips a Fireman’s Carry, Dango tries to chase, misses, and Laredo throws some offense together. Missile Dropkick into a Flying Neckbreaker for 2. Laredo goes for a Brainbuster, Dango slips it, hits the ropes and simultaneous Lariats to lay both out. Laredo is the first one up, Forearms into a big slap, goes for a Rope Run, but Dango turns him INSIDE OUT with a Western Lariat. Dango heads to the top for Down & Dirty, Laredo kips up, tries to counter the attempt but Bravo distracts the referee and Oleg trips up Laredo. Down & Dirty hits, Dirty Deeds Done Dirty Cheap for the win!

Overall Score: 5.5/10

This gave Bailey a little momentum going into No Surrender, gave Jai his best showing to date, and reminded everyone that Dango is lurking in that upper middle card area thanks to his enforcers. Dango is an enjoyable gimmick, and I think they’ve done really well at using him often enough to care, but not shoving the “punk rock, don’t care” attitude in our face too much. Like most of us TNA fans remember Shannon Moore’s Book of DILIGAF, right? Punk attitude is fun, but applied correctly…and this is pretty well executed.

Also once again, Around the Ring interviews are charming, and I think do a really good job at ingratiating the talent beyond what the storyline or workrate dictates. Gia is a great interviewer.


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