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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/29/22)

Who quits first?

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SmackDown 2022

Friday is all about quittin’ time!

Before trying to make each other quit over the SmackDown Women’s Championship, Charlotte Flair and Ronda Rousey compete in I Quit time challenges!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Steel Cage Match: Sami Zayn VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Ricochet VS Shanky w/ Jinder Mahal; Ricochet wins and retains the title.
  • Raquel Rodriguez VS Cat Cardoza; Rodriguez wins.
  • Naomi w/ Sasha Banks VS Shayna Baszler w/ Natalya; Naomi wins.
  • Ridge Holland w/ Sheamus VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston; Woods wins.
  • Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods VS Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland; Sheamus wins.
  • I Quit Match Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Shotzi Blackheart; Rousey wins in 1:41.
  • I Quit Match Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Aliyah; time expires, Rousey wins the challenge.

PLAY BY PLAY

Steel Cage Match: Sami Zayn VS Drew McIntyre!

The Master Strategist wants to fix his reputation, but he keeps running away like the Gingerbread Man. Will being put in a cage with the Scottish Warrior finally force Sami to fight? Or will Sami fully take advantage of win-by-escape?

Sami is very antsy about the door closing. McIntyre throws Sami down and then he slams the door shut himself! The bell rings courtesy of Drew Gulak, and Sami scurries up steel! McIntyre brings him down, then tells Sami there’s no escape. They tie up but Sami gets around and goes up steel! McIntyre drags him back down again, then TOSSES him into a corner! McIntyre kicks and punches away, then CHOPS Sami! Sami is stinging already as he flounders away. McIntyre brings Sami up, Sami grabs for ropes, so McIntyre RAMS him into steel! McIntyre says one more time and fans like the sound of that.

McIntyre brings Sami up, and he RAMS him into more steel! Sami flops down and McIntyre looms over him. Fans want more so McIntyre gives them more. But Sami uses that to go up the steel! McIntyre grabs at Sami, Sami kick shim away this time, then goes to a corner. But McIntyre LEAPS to CLUB Sami, then he goes up to fire off hands! Sami SMACKS McIntyre off the steel! And again! And again! Sami then adjusts position, to SUPER SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB! Both men are down and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and McIntyre is down! Sami digs McIntyre’s face into the steel, then stomps away on him! Sami lets off and McIntyre sputters, but Sami brings McIntyre up to dribble him off steel even more! “Do I look scared?!” But McIntyre blocks the dribbling, and he glares at Sami! McIntyre SMACKS Sami off steel! Sami goes tumbling, McIntyre gets out of the ropes, but Sami dodges and sends McIntyre into more steel! Sami then runs in to HELLUVA KICK McIntyre down! Sam then steps on McIntyre to start climbing! Sami reaches the top! But McIntyre springs up to catch up, and he grabs Sami by his hair!

McIntyre drags Sami back to SMACK him off the steel! Sami falls to the mat, McIntyre aims from a corner. But Sami runs in first to kick McIntyre! But McIntyre smacks Sami off steel again and again, side to side! Then a clinch for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! JUMPING NECKBREAKER! McIntyre kips up, fans fire up! McIntyre aims from a corner again, “Three! Two! One!” But Sami climbs! McIntyre hurries after him again, drags him back down, but Sami kicks at McIntyre. Sami kicks and kicks and McIntyre gets crotched! McIntyre flops down, Sami starts climbing again! Fans boo as Sami reaches the top, but McIntyre hurries!

McIntyre gets up there in time to drag Sami up by his hair! McIntyre drags Sami back over for a SUPERPLEX! Both men writhe but McIntyre kips right back up! Fans fire up and McIntyre starts the countdown again! “THREE! TWO! ONE!!” CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Sami’s losing streak continues, but at least this one finished in the ring! Is Sami’s reputation done for? Will McIntyre use this to get back towards a title?

 

Backstage interview with Charlotte Flair.

Kayla Braxton says Ronda Rousey wants to humiliate Charlotte, but Charlotte says she never gets humiliated. She is adored and worshipped. But Ronda will say “I Quit” and never show her face here again. Charlotte will win the Beat the Clock Challenge and we will see the embarrassment on Ronda’s face. Ronda might even quit before Backlash. The Queen is very confident, but will she be in the lead after tonight’s timed I Quit matches?

 

Happy Corbin makes his way to the ring.

He’ll be hosting another episode of Happy Talk, but all by himself this time. Will he be able to do well all by himself? We find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Corbin sits in his armchair as he welcomes us to the “new and improved” Happy Talk. He says that because we no longer have to deal with “a man who you all detest just as much as I do, the insufferable Mad Cap Moss.” Corbin won’t let Moss drag this show down with his awful, awful, awful jokes he insisted on telling every night that Corbin never found funny. Corbin will show Moss the one thing he did that was funny was think that he could beat Corbin. Moss is still living off his Andre the Giant Battle Royal victory, and he owes that to Corbin! Corbin made Moss! Corbin molded and shaped Moss into the man he is today.

Everything Corbin touches turns to gold! So just like he made Moss, he will destroy Moss. Tonight is special, though. Corbin will just settle for destroying the one thing Moss loves most: the Andre the Giant Battle Royal TROPHY! So welcome his special guest, the trophy! WWE staff carries out the trophy as Corbin has a video show just how he got this trophy. Moss won it at the SmackDown before WrestleMania, then had it ringside during his matches. Moss dealt with Los Lotharios, only for Corbin to attack from behind! Then Corbin carried the trophy away.

Back in the present, the trophy is on a pedestal and Corbin says he can’t wait to see Moss’ face after his one little accomplishment is smashed into a million little pieces. Corbin asks for a sledgehammer, but the crew member bringing the hammer in is MOSS! Fans fire up as Moss holds up the hammer, but Corbin keeps going on and on, gloating about how he’ll smash the trophy. But then Corbin turns around, and he sees Moss! Corbin wants Moss to take it easy, and then he narrowly avoids the hammer! Moss keeps Corbin from running away and he fires off hands! Corbin ends up in his chair and Moss dribbles him with haymakers!

Moss grabs the velvet rope stand but Corbin avoids that, too! Moss RAMS Corbin into a corner and then POSTS him! Corbin flops out and runs away and now Moss has his trophy back! Who will be the one left in stitches after this grudge match plays out?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Ricochet VS Shanky w/ Jinder Mahal!

The One and Only is a fighting champion, and so he gladly accepted the challenge of the Modern Day Maharaja’s towering protégé! Will Shanky do what Jinder could not and dethrone Ricochet? Or will Ricochet be flawless and fearless once again?

SmackDown returns and Shanky makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and the bell rings. Ricochet fires off KICKS but Shanky shoves him away. Ricochet gets around, but Shanky CLUBS Ricochet off the waistlock, Shanky shoves Ricochet, powers through the boot and fires off haymakers! The ref counts, Shanky lets off, and Shanky CLUBS Ricochet down. Shanky CLUBS Ricochet in the chest, then throws big back elbows. Ricochet flops and Jinder applauds. Shanky snapmares to clamp on a neck wrench. Ricochet endures, fights up, but Shanky throws him down by his head!

Shanky pushes Ricochet down to drop an elbow! Cover, TWO! Shanky stalks Ricochet back to a corner, then stomps a mudhole. Ricochet tries to kick back, Shanky blocks, but Ricochet ENZIGURIS! Ricochet goes up but Shanky catches him to TOSS him across the ring! Jinder applauds as Ricochet staggers up. Shanky DECKS Ricochet with a right hand! Shanky clamps on a neck wrench again but Ricochet still endures. Ricochet fights up, but Shanky throws him down again! Ricochet avoids the elbow drop this time! Fans rally behind Ricochet and he fires off shots! Shanky shoves Ricochet again, but Ricochet ducks, dodges and springboard CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO!

Shanky goes to a corner and Ricochet runs in to RAM a shoulder. Ricochet goes to the apron and ENZIGURIS Shanky away! Ricochet then goes up top, but Jinder trips Ricochet while Shanky distracts the ref! Shanky sits Ricochet up, fireman’s carries off the corner, but Ricochet moves around to sunset flip! High stack, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

Jinder and Shanky are shocked! Ricochet snags that one away, Jinder is furious with Shanky, but Shanky gets mad with Jinder! Shanky storms off, is he done listening to the Maharaja?

 

Backstage interview with Raquel Rodriguez.

Kayla says all eyes are on Raquel with her SmackDown in-ring debut. Is she nervous? When she looks this good, she’s used to having all eyes on her. But yes, she’s nervous. It’s like a party of butterflies. But she also likes being the center of attention. She’ll put on a show no one will ever forget. With that, Ricky Desperado heads to the ring! Who will be the first to feel the power of Big Mami Cool?

Raquel Rodriguez VS ???

SmackDown returns and Raquel’s opponent is “Cat Cardoza.” (Leila Grey) Cat fires off even before the bell! She throws forearms and knees, then hammers Raquel on the back! The ref backs Cat off, and Raquel says okay then. The bell finally rings, and Raquel CLOBBERS Cat! Raquel smiles as she drags Cat up, knuckle locks and wristlocks, then straight arm levers Cat to drop her down. Raquel flexes, drags Cat back up, and runs her over with a shoulder! Raquel brings Cat back up, whips her to a corner hard, and Cat bounces off buckles. Raquel gets Cat back up, for a FALL AWAY SLAM!

Raquel fires up and fans fire up with her. Raquel scoops for another FALL AWAY SLAM! Cat flounders, Raquel still smiles, and she steps on Cat to go to the corner. TWISTING VADER! Cat grabs ropes and kicks Raquel away, then HOTSHOTS from the apron! The ref reprimands, Cat hurries in, and she runs at the corner to SHINING WIZARD! Cat pushes Raquel around, then chokes her against rope! The ref counts, Cat lets off at 4, and then she runs in, but Raquel blocks the boot! CHINGONA BOMB!! Cover, Raquel wins!

Winner: Raquel Rodriguez, by pinfall

Raquel wrecks Cat and has a strong debut on SmackDown! Will Big Mami Cool steamroll her way to the top soon enough?

 

Imperium speaks.

Ludwig Kaiser says, “Gunther is the embodiment of greatness. He pulverizes any and every opponent not worthy stepping on that mat that is so sacred to us!” Gunther says, “Respect will be taken by Der Ring General.” Will Imperium sanctify all of SmackDown for the name of this great sport?

 

RKBRO head to the ring!

Matt Riddle & Randy Orton are here, because tonight, they sign on the dotted line! RKBRO and the Usos will make the WWE Tag Team Championship Unification official, after the break.

SmackDown returns and the Usos make their entrance. Jimmy & Jey join RKBRO and Adam Pearce in the ring, the belts are set on the table, and Pearce thanks them for being here for the official signing. RKBRO and Usos have been part of enough of these so Pearce makes it simple: four signatures on the contract, and the unification match is official. Jimmy says to check this out. The Usos ain’t got nothing to prove to Pearce, the fans, or to RKBRO. Everyone in the arena and the whole damn world know that RKBRO are the twos, and #WeTheOnes! The Bloodline is gonna be draped in ALL the gold! After Backlash, they’ll need bigger luggage while RKBRO will do some acknowledging.

Riddle speaks up, saying he wants to say something. It’s good that Pearce and Orton are here. Riddle can’t tell the Usos apart, and that’s not fair! Orton has the tattoos and the moustache, Riddle has the long hair and no shoes. Can we get name tags for the Usos? Or maybe one of them can change their beard. Pearce will take that under advisement… Orton says he appreciates the insight from Riddle, but is he really serious that he can’t tell the Usos apart? Not at all, Randy. That’s funny, because Orton’s never had a problem. See, the one on the right is the Right Hand Man, Jey Uso. Okay, okay.

The one on the left is nothing but a bitch. OOOH! Jimmy DECKS Orton! Jey tosses the table! Then he goes after Riddle! They all brawl, Orton turns things around and so does Riddle! But here comes ROMAN REIGNS! The Tribal Chief makes his presence known, Paul Heyman carrying both belts. RKBRO is ready, but then the Usos CLOBBER them from behind! The Usos stomp RKBRO, then they DOUBLE SUPERKICK Orton! They whip Riddle, for the ONE D! Roman gets in the ring to loom over the contract. He picks it up and RIPS IT UP! Then he shoves it down Riddle’s mouth before throwing haymakers!

But here comes MCINTYRE! The Scottish Warrior won’t let the Head of the Table do what he wants! Jey rushes out but gets CLOBBERED! Jimmy DIVES into a haymaker! And now McIntyre has a clear path to Roman! McIntyre gets up in the ring as he stares Roman down. Fans are fired up but Roman says McIntyre doesn’t want none of this. McIntyre gets in the ring because he does! They throw haymakers back and forth, McIntyre gets the edge and clinches, OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Roman bails out and regroups with the Bloodline! McIntyre says this has been a long time coming! Will McIntyre be taking aim at the Undisputed WWE Championship?

 

Paul Heyman meets with Adam Pearce.

The Special Counsel tells Mr. Pearce that while Pearce has his minions running around to get the inside scoops, he must surely know Roman Reigns is not happy. Pearce is aware. Then Heyman wants Pearce to have a good relationship with the Undisputed Universal Champion. As such, this tag title unification match, RKBRO VS Usos? Let’s say there’s been an upgrade. WrestleMania Backlash will have RKBRO & Drew McIntyre VS The Usos and Roman Reigns in a Six Man Tag! Pearce can’t just change things. The titles have to be on the line. Heyman applauds Pearce and says he admires a man “who will stick to his principles at the expense of his own career.”

It gives Heyman the ammunition to go to the board and file a complaint that Pearce would deprive the fans of such a match. Mr. Pearce can make that Six Man, and he will. Heyman leaves and Pearce seems to find himself between a rock and a hard place. Will the unification be set aside so that the Bloodline can settle a grudge?

 

Naomi w/ Sasha Banks VS Shayna Baszler w/ Natalya!

The Boss ‘n’ Glow know that Spades & Hart are coming for them and the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, and are ready to fight. Will Naomi make Shayna #FeelTheGlow? Or will Shayna make Naomi #TapNapOrSnap?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Shayna waistlocks, SLAMS Naomi down, then floats around to keep Naomi down. Naomi fights up but Shayna SLAMS her down again. Naomi slips out with some Matrix and she basement dropkick! Naomi runs side to side for a SPLIT LEG LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Naomi wrenches Shayna, whips, but Shayna reverses. Naomi goes up and catches Shayna for the TWERK ATTACK! Naomi then kicks Shayna away, slides around her, wheelbarrows, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Shayna scowls and Natty soaks up heat. Shayna gets Naomi’s arm, twists the wrist, then has a double wristlock.

Naomi endures, fans rally, and Naomi fights up to throw body shots. Shayna RAMS Naomi into a corner then fires off body shots! The ref counts, Shayna lets off at 4, and then runs in, only to hit buckles! Naomi goes to another corner, Shayna rushes in, and Shayna blocks a boot. Shayna throws Naomi but she uses ropes to ENZIGURI! Shayna staggers, Sasha rallies the fans and Naomi wants the full nelson. Shayna fires elbows to get free, then she shoots around to KIRAFUDA! But Naomi snapmares free! Rear View gets caught, but Naomi victory rolls Shayna into buckles! Sunset flip, Naomi wins!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall

But Natty CLOBBERS Naomi! Sasha goes after the sore loser and whips her out of the ring! Sasha then KNEES Natty off the apron, and baseball slides. But Natty catches the leg to SMASH the knee into the apron! Natty then gets Sasha in a SHARPSHOOTER through the ropes! Sasha can only endure, and Shayna gut wrench SLAMS Naomi down! Natty lets Sasha go and elbows away on the leg! Natty then makes Sasha watch as Shayna isolates Naomi’s arm! Shayna STOMPS the arm! Fans boo as Naomi writhes and Shayna leaves her behind. Will Spades & Hart trump the champs and take those titles at Backlash?

 

And it’s official!

Heyman wanted it, Pearce caved! The change to WrestleMania Backlash is done, it will be a Six Man Tag! The Bloodline VS RKBRO & McIntyre! Will the Tribal Chief and the SmackDown Tag Team Champions smash ’em, stack ’em and pin ’em? Or will the Scottish Warrior and the Raw Tag Team Champions prove that the Bloodline ain’t the ones?

 

Sheamus and Ridge Holland meet backstage.

It’s been a whole week and they haven’t found Butch! Who knows what he’ll do? Sheamus put posters everywhere, from the locker room to catering to the parking lot! What about Ridge? He also put posters up! Really? Where? The locker room, catering, and the parking lot! But that’s where Sheamus put his posters… Didn’t you see them? More the merrier. Sigh… Ridge says he can take them down. No, no time. They have a match. Well hey, Ridge put Big E out. He can do the same to Woods! Yeah, and if they ever show their faces again, they’ll run right into Fight Night!

Ridge Holland w/ Sheamus VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston!

The Northern Grit is ready to do what Pete Dunne couldn’t. But will that come to pass? Or will he end up lost in the #BackWoods, too?

SmackDown returns and the New Day make their entrance. Kofi says, “Well, well, well. It appears as though where once there was three, now there is only two! Two! Two! Two!” Where is Butch? Y’mean to tell ya bois, the NEW~ DAY~, that they can keep it together since 2014, 8 YEARS, but these guys can’t even keep it together for a month and a half? Wow… Sheamus has had a lot of tag partners, actually. He’s like WWE’s resident thot. The tag team thot! First he was shakin’ it for League of Nations. Then for The Bar. Now he’s shaking it for two young booties who don’t know any better.

Sheamus is like Wreck It Ralph! Fans know Ralph. Then this is Shake It Sheamus. Fans chant it, “Shake It Sheamus!” But while Sheamus is busy shaking it on the outside, Woods will be destroying Ridge. Why? BECAAAAUSE~! NEW! DAY ROCKS!

Woods gets in the ring and Sheamus gets upset with the new nickname. The bell rings, Woods kicks Ridge in the leg, but Ridge doesn’t budge. They circle, Woods throws more kicks, then ties up with Ridge. Ridge powers Woods into a corner and he throws body shots and uppercuts. Ridge wrenches, reels Woods in and CLOBBERS him! Fans still taunt Sheamus but Ridge throws body shots. Ridge whips Woods, Woods leaps, but Ridge catches him! SLAM then knee drop! Sheamus wants Ridge to crush Woods, and Ridge stomps Woods’ hand. Ridge EuroUppers again, but Woods chops! And CHOPS!

Ridge kicks and CLUBS Woods, then whips corner to corner. Ridge runs in but Woods dodges, and Ridge hits POST! Sheamus is upset, and Woods springboards out to TORNADO DDT Ridge to the floor! Fans fire up and so does Kofi as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Woods climbs up a corner. Woods leaps, Ridge gets under, and Woods runs into a POUNCE from Ridge! Sheamus is fired up but fans boo as Woods writhes. Ridge stomps away on Woods, then drops a knee on Woods. Ridge drops elbows, knees, repeat! Ridge drags Woods around, fans rally with “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Woods throws body shots, Ridge shoves him but Woods sunset flips. Ridge stays up but Woods avoids the knee drop. Woods CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS. Ridge blocks the haymaker to HEADBUTT Woods down. Sheamus says that’s using his head!

Ridge drags Woods back up and wraps on a chinlock. Woods endures, fans still taunt Sheamus, but Ridge grinds Woods down. Woods fights up, gets to his feet, and fans rally as he moves around and around and hits a JAWBREAKER! Woods CHOPS Ridge again, throws more hands and CHOPS, over and over and over! Woods whips, Ridge reverses, but Woods ducks and dodges then slides to ROLLING- SPINEBUSTER from Ridge! Cover, TWO! Woods survives and Sheamus is seething. Ridge looms over Woods, stands on his head and digs his heel in. The ref reprimands, but Ridge drags Woods up again.

Ridge reels Woods in, but Woods flops to the mat. Ridge laughs, Woods has nothing left. Ridge gets Woods up again, but Woods fights the powerbomb! Fans rally but Ridge CLUBS away on Woods’ back! Ridge brings Woods up again, but Woods turns bomb into cradle!! WOODS WINS AGAIN!!

Winner: Xavier Woods, by pinfall

The Back Woods is unstoppable! Sheamus says he’s through with games! “Sorry” won’t cut it this time! Sheamus dares Kofi to go 1v1 with him right now! Fans want to see it, so Kofi nods and throws off the vest! The Fella wants to fight, but will there be Trouble in Paradise in the near future?

 

Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods VS Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland!

SmackDown returns as this match is going, and Sheamus whips Kofi to ropes. Kofi ducks and dodges then CROSSBODIES Sheamus and himself out of the ring! Fans fire up, Kofi runs in but Sheamus dodges. Kofi goes up to the apron, mule kicks, then TRUST FALLS! Sheamus goes down again! Kofi puts Sheamus in the ring, but Sheamus throws a hard body shot! Kofi is stuck on the apron, Sheamus CLUBS Kofi on the back, then stands him up. Kofi fights the Bodhrain and HOTSHOTS! Kofi somersaults to school boy, TWO! Sheamus rushes into a corner but only gets POST! Kofi then goes up top, FLYING AX HANDLE!

Fans fire up as Kofi KICKS and CLUBS and fires forearms on Sheamus. Sheamus hits back, but Kofi gets him for- NO! No SOS, just an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Sheamus holds on, to haul Kofi up for another IRISH CURSE! Sheamus says that’s not all, here’s a third IRISH CURSE! Sheamus turns Kofi over for a DUBLIN GRIN! Kofi endures, fights up, fans rally and Kofi throws elbows. Kofi runs, but into a scoop and POWERSLAM! Sheamus fires up and goes to a corner. Fans boo, but Sheamus soaks up the heat. Sheamus beats his chest, takes aim at Kofi, but Kofi ducks the Brogue! SOS!! Cover, TWO!!

Sheamus and Kofi get up, and Kofi hurries to a corner. Kofi climbs, Sheamus ROCKS him first! Kofi hits back, they brawl, Kofi throws a headbutt! Kofi stands up and leaps, into a KNEE! Sheamus runs, BROGUE!! Cover, Sheamus wins!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall

The New Day goes 1-1 tonight with the Fight Night Boys, but Ridge RAMS Woods into barriers! Ridge fires off on Woods, then sets him up against steel steps. Sheamus brings out a TABLE! Fans are fired up as Sheamus sets the table up and Ridge digs his knee into Woods. The table is ready, Sheamus has Ridge get his revenge. POWERBOMB through the table!! Will the Celtic Warrior and Northern Grit still be formidable even without the wild and erratic Butch?

 

Lacey Evans speaks.

“I got kicked out of my home at age 17, but I was still the first in my family to not only graduate high school, but I decided to join the military, and I became a United States Marine at the age of 19.” Lacey graduated out of boot camp as her company’s highest shooter, and graduated the Military Police academy at the top of her class. She also became the only female Marine Corp. SWAT team member in South Carolina. On graduation day, all the other graduates were smiling and waving to their families, but not Lacey. Imagine looking up trying to find your father in a crowd of cheering people, only to learn he chose not to show up.

Imagine working your ass off in hopes of finally making your father proud, only for him to never show up to the most important things in your life. It gets to where you find a different driving force that just fills you with anger. It is like no matter what she did, begged or tried in wanting to show her family that addiction and depression weren’t the only options, that there was something better out there, it just never worked. Unlike the other female superstars, Lacey wasn’t blessed with perks or pats on her back and positive support. She’s never had it, doesn’t need it. She made it from trailer park to the WWE, and she is ready to take on every single woman in the division.

What Lacey has been through has created the woman she is today. A motivated, ready for anything, careful, confident mother, wife, sister, daughter, US Marine, and WWE superstar. She’s no better than anyone else, but they damn sure ain’t better than her.

 

I Quit Match Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Shotzi Blackheart!

The Baddest Woman on the Planet wants to embarrass and dethrone Charlotte Flair, and she gets to set the bar for tonight! Will she make quick work of Shotzi? Or will the Wild Child refuse to say those two words?

SmackDown returns and Shotzi is already in the ring. But then Charlotte makes her entrance! The SmackDown Women’s Champion wants to watch this for herself, and perhaps put pressure on Ronda. The bell ring, the clock is ticking, and Ronda rushes Shotzi but Shotzi bails out. They go around the ring, in and out, Shotzi keeps moving, but Ronda keeps chasing. Ronda catches up to Shotzi, gets a leg in the ropes, but Shotzi clubs and claws at Ronda. Ronda lets go, Shotzi fires up but misses the roundhouse! Ronda ROUNDHOUSES Shotzi and Shotzi falls out of the ring. Ronda goes out, Shotzi gets back in.

Shotzi kicks from the apron but Ronda blocks and trips Shotzi up! Ronda’s a minute in but she’s after Shotzi on the ropes again. Shotzi gets away, Ronda gets the leg and hits a GOTCH SUPLEX! Then she scoops Shotzi for an EXPLODER! Ronda sees the click ticking so she gets serious! Body scissor roll and ANKLE LOCK to KNEEBAR!! Shotzi quits, Ronda wins!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, in 1:41

A minute and 41 seconds! Ronda has set the pace, but Charlotte steps up for her turn. Fans taunt Charlotte with “You Tapped Out!” but she tunes it out. Charlotte gets a mic to “congratulate” Ronda, it was amazing. But go ahead, do the victory lap now, because that will be Ronda’s last win for a long, long time. Now shoo. Aliyah has to get her 10 seconds of fame with Charlotte Flair. She can even post it on social media that she’ll be the next one to lose to Charlotte. Aliyah makes her entrance, can she last more than 101 seconds?

I Quit Match Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Aliyah!

The bell rings and we start counting down. Charlotte doesn’t seem in a hurry, but then she ties up with Aliyah. Charlotte throws Aliyah down but fans still taunt her. Charlotte tells Aliyah to quit now. Aliyah dodges the boot, ENZIGURIS, but Charlotte LARIATS her back! Charlotte tells Aliyah to quit, pushes her around, and scoops. Aliyah slips out, shoves her, wheelbarrows, and BULLDOGS! Ronda smirks as Charlotte is down and Aliyah goes up. Aliyah CROSSBODIES but FLOPS as Charlotte moves! Charlotte runs in to BOOT Aliyah down! Charlotte tells Ronda to watch this but Ronda says to watch the clock.

Charlotte steps through but Aliyah boots her out of the ring! We’re under 30 seconds and Ronda taunts Charlotte about the clock. Charlotte gets in, 20 seconds, and she gets the legs! She steps through but Aliyah scrambles! Figure Four is on, we’re at 5! Charlotte wriggles to FIGURE EIGHT, but TIME IS UP!!

Time Limit

Charlotte is shocked! Aliyah taps after the buzzer, so Ronda wins the challenge!! And who is the one feeling embarrassed and humiliated right now? Not Ronda! Fans taunt Charlotte again as she gets out of the ring. She makes her way to the timekeeper, and she points at Gulak! Gulak drops the hammer, and Charlotte says, “How hard is your job? Are you stupid?!” Gulak defends he’s not stupid, but then Charlotte BOOTS him! And then SLAPS him! All he had to do was ring the bell at the right time! Charlotte slaps him around but she’s the one who ran out of time. Charlotte grabs the bell hammer to ring the bell, but that doesn’t make much of a point.

So she brings the bell in to CLOBBER Gulak with it!! “How hard is your job?!” Right now, very. Charlotte scuffs Gulak as she leaves. Lucky for her, there is no time limit on the I Quit Match at Backlash. Will Charlotte have all the time in the world to prove she’s still championship material? Or will Ronda make sure Charlotte’s reign ends quickly and painfully?


My Thoughts:

Well, this was certainly an episode of SmackDown, but I suppose this was WWE scrambling to adjust in a minor emergency. While well executed, I’m a bit disappointed they are delaying the tag title unification match just so they can cover for Roman Reigns still not being 100% after Mania. I guess they don’t want the Tribal Chief to look lazy taking a PPV off, so they’re giving us a Six Man Tag. Kinda wished it was Nakamura, not McIntyre. For one, Boogs went down during the tag title match at Mania, and they teased Nakamura going after Roman before they started having to hide his bad shoulder.

McIntyre at least got his cage match with Sami done to start the show. As cage matches go, it was okay. Obviously there was a lot of climbing from Sami, but McIntyre wins to put this feud away. Ricochet having his title match second match of the night was itself very confusing. I mean, Shanky was of course losing, but just on status, the title match could’ve been left for the second hour. But I did like that Shanky is breaking away from Jinder. I don’t know where either will go from here, but I didn’t see them going very far still together, either. Happy Talk was a good segment, mostly because Moss pulled off the disguise of ring crew.

Decent promo from Imperium, but I wonder if Marcel/Ludwig will be anything more than a mouthpiece. Good match from Raquel, though I thought it was going to be a squash. “Cat” got a good showing, maybe WWE will give her a shot? Naomi VS Shayna was a decent match, could’ve been better since this is to hype up the tag title match, but Shayna & Natty beat up Naomi & Sasha was pretty standard stuff. I don’t see Sasha & Naomi losing anyway, so this is par for the course. Lacey had another powerful promo, I hope she gets going in the ring again so we can see how this more genuine attitude looks in matches.

Good stuff out of New Day and Fight Night Boys. Woods VS Ridge was really good, and of course #BackWoods wins again. Sheamus taking on Kofi was good stuff, but because it was going during commercial, we only got to see so much. It makes sense they’d go 1-1, they’ll have a tag team blow-off that could go either way. I hope with Dunne staying away, this is a sign he’s transforming back into the Bruiserweight. Or at least going solo. If he isn’t teaming with Moustache Mountain, he doesn’t need to be in a faction.

The Beat the Clock Challenges as the closer was whatever. I thought Charlotte would set the bar and then Ronda beats that, but I guess Charlotte wasting 100 seconds was still a good way to write this. Just maybe not as the main event. Charlotte beating up Gulak feeds into the story I’m expecting, where Gulak will snap on the next Heel to bully him, and then Gulak gets back in the ring with fans supporting him.

My Score: 7.7/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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