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Mitchell’s WWE WrestleMania 38 Results & Report! (4/3/22)

There can only be ONE!

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It’s night two of the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever!

And in the biggest main event ever, the reigning, defending World and Universal Champions battle to determine a NEW UNDISPUTED WWE CHAMPION!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Raw Tag Team Championships Triple Threat: RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy VS The Street Profits; RKBRO wins and retains the titles.
  • Omos VS Bobby Lashley; Lashley wins.
  • Anything Goes: Sami Zayn VS Johnny Knoxville; Knoxville wins.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way: Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega VS Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya; Sasha & Naomi win and become the new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions.
  • Edge VS AJ Styles; Edge wins.
  • The New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge Holland w/ “Butch” Pete Dunne; Sheamus & Ridge win.
  • Austin Theory VS Pat McAfee; McAfee wins.
  • Pat McAfee VS Vince McMahon w/ Austin Theory; McMahon wins.
  • WWE World & Universal Championships, Winner Takes All Title Unification: Brock Lesnar VS Roman Reigns w/ The Bloodline; Roman wins and becomes the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WrestleMania 38 Kickoff Show!

The most STUPENDOUS weekend is almost over, but join Kayla Braxton, Kevin Patrick, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler and Peter Rosenberg for another two hours to discuss last night, as well as discuss, analyze and predict this night’s card!

 

What is God Mode?

Roman Reigns himself says, “God Mode is 200 IQ plus world class athlete. It’s not a switch, it’s years and years of work. It’s a journey. And anyone who has reached the top of what they do understands what it takes. That’s allowed me to that point of experience where I’m just smarter than everybody else.” Roman is in Western Florida and the gym. The gym doesn’t acknowledge him. If he can’t do it, he can’t do it. He pushes himself every single time. What someone does in the weight room, it has to translate to the field, tot he ring. Explosion, power, conditioning. Roman gets stronger as the match goes on.

He still believes in the old school, nitty gritty, pick up the weight and own it. All the classic lifts. These are what the real pros have tapped into and it is nothing different for him. He knows how to handle Brock Lesnar. He learned from every false step, reanalyzed every little detail that we thought of, and the ones we didn’t because we’re not as smart of him. There is one sliver of credit that goes to that “Hillbilly farm boy.” He’ll be in the record books as the supporting player to the number one guy, Roman Reigns. Roman has manifested the outcome he sees fit for the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the Bloodline. God Mode gonna come easy.

This is Roman’s sixth main event and he will finally beat Brock to become the greatest WWE Champion of all time. No arguments, no debates, this is factual. The biggest main event of all time, and Roman’s ready. Will Dallas be ready for it?

 

Matt Camp hangs out with more fans.

Tonight could be a Jackass playground! Team Johnny or Team Sami? One young lady says she grew up with Johnny, she can’t wait to see the stunts he pulls! But one of the guys says he’s done with celebrities thinking they can perform. Sami will Helluva Kick Johnny back to Hollywood! What happens when it is truly Anything Goes?

 

Jackie Redmond is with fans inside the arena.

Another wild and rowdy crowd is ready for this one, and they have traveled far and wide from all over the world! How far did these guys come from? Bangladesh! And all worth it, baby! They are here to see Roman Reigns, what do they predict? He’ll SMASH Lesnar all over AT&T Stadium! Well, the Head of the Table likes to be acknowledge, will they acknowledge him? “Tribal Chief! We acknowledge you! The one!”

 

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Megan says the moment is finally here: the biggest WrestleMania Match ever. Title unification! Is Heyman nervous? “That’s the best question that she has for me?” Well, yes, he is nervous. But he’s more than a little nervous. HE’s… ill at ease. He doesn’t feel well. Tonight, Heyman has to mourn the end of a friendship, and a career that has spanned over 20 years. One of an NCAA Heavyweight Champion, a UFC Heavyweight Champion, and a WWE Heavyweight and Universal Heavyweight Champion. The loss of a friendship and career of Brock Lesnar. Heyman’s been here before. Deja vu even.

He’s speaking of WrestleMania 30, when Heyman knew he would conquer The Undertaker’s undefeated streak and half that credit went to Lesnar. But he knew it would happen. And knew that was the beginning of the end of The Deadman. The downward spiral that would bring the end of an exquisite career. And the way Heyman felt for Taker at the hands of Lesnar is how he feels now for Lesnar at the hands of Roman Reigns! This is a must-win match for both but there must be a loser! One man will stand above the other, both titles in the air, and that man and Heyman look down at the end of the career of Brock…! Lesnar!

 

Maria Menounos interviews Zelina Vega & Carmella.

She asks the Queen of the Ring and the Most Beautiful Woman in WWE how they’re going to retain. Oh, how cute. They’ll explain a Fatal 4 Way to her: Vega can get a pinfall or submission, or Mella can get a pinfall or submission, and they retain. But then what about the other six women in the match? Oh, Liv? A weirdo. Rhea? A spikey weirdo. Sasha? Overrated. Naomi? Did she beg to be in this match? Natalya? Nasty Natty. Shayna? Scary… ‘Tis not fear, ’tis adrenaline! But no one takes down the rightful champions without sacrificing their pathetic little lives! Now, Vega & Mella are going to make sure the champagne is chilling. Will they be popping bottles? Or be getting popped by one of their many contenders?

 

Matt Camp is hanging out with more fans!

With less than an hour, they’re all fired up! And Sam is here in Texas, to ACKNOWLEDGE his Head of the Table, Matt’s Head of the Table, during the biggest match of all time, ROMAN REIGNS! One young fan wants to see McAfee beat Austin Theory! And another wants Edge to beat AJ Styles!

 

Jackie Redmond spends time with even more fans.

We’re just hours away from that very same match, with fans divided in Team Brock and Team Roman. Why is Roman better? He dominates everybody! He’ll win easily! Lesnar has no chance! But what about Team Brock? They vote for the REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNIFIED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! BRRROCK! LESNARRR!

 

Maria Menounos is outside Mr. McMahon’s office.

But Austin Theory walks out and asks if she has a question for him. Oh she does. He has a match with Pat McAfee, but doe she have a strategy? He has no worries. He just talked with Vince, and as his protégé, Vince has all the confidence in Theory showing no mercy to that retired NFL punter, “Fat McAfee.” Look at McAfee and look at Theory! There’s no comparison! McAfee apologized once, so he’ll apologize again for even stepping into that ring. Then Theory will win and take the most STUPENDOUS selfie. And all McAfee will remember is A-Town putting him down! Selfie with Maria!

 

Maria Menounos interviews Bobby Lashley.

Maria says Lashley made history by being the first superstar to knock Omos off his feet. Can he do it again and end the undefeated streak? Lashley knows Omos is a monster. He debuted last year at WrestleMania, dominated ever since. He’s beaten everyone, and decimated whole tag teams without breaking a sweat. But that’s why Lashley is charged up. He is going to put the myth of Omos to rest! Omos is unbeaten, but that doesn’t mean he’s unbeatable. Will this be a truly MIGHTY match?

 

Performing America the Beautiful, singer, fashion designer and writer, Jessie James Decker!

 

The most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend is almost over!

Mark Wahlberg says, “It’s rare that the sequel is as good as the original. Is this one of those rare moments? There’s only one way to find out. Let’s run it back.” The passion, the pageantry, the power and all things STUPENDOUS. Yeah, you gotta run that back. Sequel pro-tip: keep them guessing. The good guys, the not so good, and a lot of action, as well as the biggest WrestleMania main event of all time! Title unification, winner take all, and there can only be one. No more previews. This sequel isn’t just edge-of-your-seat, but OUT of your seat action. Mark’s not crying, you’re crying. Welcome back to the most STUPENDOUS two-night Mania in history!

 

TRIPLE H IIS HERE!!

The Game may have retired from in-ring competition, but he’d never miss out on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania in history! He goes right to the ring as fans go nuts! He hugs his three daughters, says hey to Gable Steveson, then gives us one last blast of water! HHH goes up to the corner, does his iconic flex pose, and then soaks in the moment as fans chant his name. HHH gets a mic and his wrestling boots. Fans chant, “Thank You, Hunter!” as he sets the boots down in the middle of the ring and throws up a Too Sweet. HHH then says, “I just wanted to come out here to say thank you.”

And to show us HHH’s love the best way he knows how, “WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA!” Pyro goes off with that and the fans cheer. HHH leaves mic down by the boots, and takes one last exit from the ring to the back. #ThankYouHHH.

 

Raw Tag Team Championships Triple Threat: RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy VS The Street Profits!

The Viper and the Stallion have the gold back again, but once again they’re in a Triple Threat situation! Swap out Kevin Owens & Seth Rollins and plug in Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford, will the Profits change the math and the results? Will “Master” Chad Gable & Otis get the belts back #ForTheAcademy? Or will the unlikeliest WWE duo in a long time still be on top of the Raw Tag Division?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if anyone survives the three most dangerous letters in sports entertainment.

In this Triple Threat, there is one man from each team. Riddle, Ford and Gable start, and Gable tries to “SHOOSH~!” everyone. So Ford SLAPS Gable, Riddle ROUNDHOUSES him! Ford rolls Riddle, ONE! Riddle fireman’s carries, but Ford slips off and shoves to then follow and LARIAT! Gable gets up to GERMAN SUPLEX Ford! Bridging cover, BROTON breaks it! Dawkins throws Riddle out but Orton throws Dawkins out! Gable throws Orton out but Ford throws Gable out! Otis TOSSES Ford out hard! The tree trunk with arms roars but fans boo! The teams all regroup, but now it’s a chaotic brawl!

Otis throws Riddle out, Dawkins stomps Orton, Ford ENZIGURIS Gable! Gable is in a corner, Ford himself is dizzy from his landing, but he gets up to run and FLIES over the corner! Ford takes out everyone but Gable! Gable decides to go up, and he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto everyone! All six men are down and fans are fired up! Gable gets up, he finds Riddle and puts him in the ring. Gable drags Riddle up, throws body shots, but Riddle fires back! Otis tags in, Gable whips Riddle, DISCUS GERMAN COMBO! “A thank yew~!” Fans boo again but Otis stomps Riddle down. Otis drags Riddle up and hits a short arm LARIAT!

Otis says, “For the Academy!” Otis then drags Riddle up, another short arm LARIAT! Otis runs, for a SPLASH! Otis toys with Riddle, fans rally up, and Otis scoops to SLAM Riddle! Fans fire up for RKBRO but Otis sits Riddle up for a neck wrench. Riddle endures, fights up, reaches out, but Otis knees him low. Otis brings Riddle around, ROCKS him with a right, then brings him to the corner. Tag to Gable, Gable NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Gable gets Riddle by a leg, hooks it for a standing toehold, and says, “A THANK YEW~!” Riddle endures, reaches out, but it’s also a cover, TWO!

Riddle uses his free leg to kick at Gable! Riddle gets free, gets to his feet, but Gable blocks a kick for a DRAGON SCREW! But Ford returns to dropkick Gable! Ford runs in but into a throat chop! Gable runs in, MONKEY FLIP! Ford flounders hard, Gable covers him, TWO! Gable looms over Ford now, brings him up for a waistlock, but Ford slips out of the back suplex to tag Dawkins! Dawkins runs, hurdles and FLYING ELBOWS! Then an EXPLODER for Riddle! EXPLODER for Gable! Otis tags in while Dawkins gives Riddle the SILENCER! Cover, SPLASH from Otis! Both men just got crushed!

Otis puts Riddle in a corner, RAMS into him, then brings Riddle to the corner. Riddle fights off the Academy, goes up and over, Otis POSTS himself! Gable tags in, gets Riddle’s leg, ANKLE LOCK! Riddle fights up, and KNEES free! Dawkins hurries to stop Riddle as fans rally, but Riddle fireman’s carries, BRO TO SLEEP! All three men are down and fans are fired up! Riddle crawls over, so does Dawkins, hot tags to Ford and Orton! The Viper rallies, fans are fired up, POWERSLAM! Orton gets fired up now as he has Ford on the apron! Ford slips out of the ropes to trip Orton and bring him out!

Orton blocks the desk smack to SMACK Ford! Then DESK BACK SUPLEX! Gable runs in, he gets a DESK BACK SUPLEX! Orton is having fun now! He has Ford in the ropes, Riddle intercepts Dawkins with a KNEE! Dawkins ends up in the ropes and now Riddle has him! RKBRO with the DOUBLE DRAPING DDT’s for the Profits! Fans are thunderous as RKBRO hears those voices in their heads! But the Academy drags them out to RAM them into barriers! DISCUS ELBOW for Dawkins! Gable climbs, Otis Electric Chair Lifts Ford, FLYING BULLDOG! Shoutout to the Steiner Brothers! Cover, TWO!!

Gable is furious over the count but somehow Ford survives! But Gable puts Ford in a drop zone and Otis wants to shout out Vader now! Only for Riddle and Dawkins to shove him over together! Dawkins then TOSSES Riddle, he tags in as Gable MONKEY FLIPS! Ford lands on his feet, Dawkins gets Gable up top! Ford says “SUCK IT!” before a BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY! Cover, TWO!? Gable survives now and now one can believe it! “This is Awesome!” as Dawkins, Gable and Riddle slowly rise. Gable gets out of the ring, Riddle runs in but is put on the apron. Riddle ROCKS Dawkins, PENLTY KICKS Otis, but Dawkins DECKS Riddle!

Otis tosses Riddle down, Dawkins turns around but denies an RKO! ANOINTING! Tag to Ford, Dawkins FLIES onto Otis!! Ford is all fired up, but Riddle gets him for a SUPER RKO!!! Fans are going nuts as RKBRO is left in the ring! Gable drags himself up to the apron and then the top of a corner! Gable leaps, into an RKO!!! Cover, RKBRO WINS!

Winners: RKBRO, by pinfall (still Raw Tag Team Champions)

BROOOO! That was perhaps the most STUPENDOUS tag title Triple Threat ever! And in the end, the Viper & the Stallion continue their wild ride! The Profits get back in the ring, with Solo cups, and they fist bump it out for respect. But even more so, Ford and Dawkins give them a little bit of that somethin’ somethin’! They even invite Steveson! Steveson shrugs, hops the barriers and gets in the ring for his first WrestleMania moment ever! And all together, they toast! Only for Gable to SLAP the drink out of Steveson’s hand! Steveson is pissed!! Everyone else backs up but Chad Gable gets a mic.

Steveson snatches it from him! But then Gable snatches it back, and tells the “kid” he’s just starting here. Here’s a free lesson: when you’re in Chad’s presence, remember one thing. SHOOOOOOSH~! Steveson picks up Chad to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly him! Is that just a sample of what this Gable is going to bring to the ring?

 

Omos VS Bobby Lashley!

For 365 days, this 400 HUNDRED POUND walking mountain has dominated whoever is put in front of him, and is undefeated in singles action. But just as he felt there was on one left, the Rocky Mountain Machine made his return! Lashley was the first man in the WWE and perhaps anywhere to take Omos off his feet, but will he be the one to give Omos his first loss?

The bell rings and the two circle. Omos talks smack but Lashley kicks. Omos blocks then CLUBS Lashley down! Lashley gets up at ropes, Omos CLUBS Lashley back down! Lashley gets up again, ducks the roundhouse then kicks low! Lashley reels Omos in?! But Omos body shots and knees to then uppercut Lashley! Lashley staggers, Omos clamps on a hand onto Lashley’s head! Lashley powers out of the vice grip and Omos is surprised! But Omos knees low to stop that, and tries again. Omos CLOBBERS Lashley point blank! But Lashley gets back up? And he SLAPS Omos!? Omos BOOTS Lashley back down!

Omos is mad now and he puts Lashley in a corner for big elbows and point-blank clotheslines! Omos lets off as the ref counts to run in and elbow Lashley down! Omos then runs in again, but only gets buckles! Lashley still can’t get away from those big arms, but Omos runs again to miss again! Lashley goes after Omos with clotheslines to the back, then runs side to side, one more BIG clothesline! Fans fire up for Lashley and he wants the full nelson! Omos is too big, though! Omos stops the Hurt Lock from clamping on, then runs to LARIAT Lashley down! Omos looms over Lashley as he slowly gets up.

Omos clamps on both hands, and he shoves Lashley out of the ring! Lashley is down in a heap and the ring count climbs. Lashley manages to get up at 5 of 10, but Omos goes out after him. Lashley leaps onto the apron and then LARIATS Omos while he’s on the ropes! Lashley hurries in and up, to leap! But Omos catches Lashley! Omos fireman’s carries, for a COLOSSAL DROP!! Lashley crash lands on the mat, and Omos dares him to get up from that. Lashley does, Omos runs, but into a back elbow! Lashley runs, but into a BEARHUG! Omos squeezes tight but fans rally as Lashley endures!

Lashley digs forearms into Omos’ face, so Omos RAMS Lashley into a corner! Lashley flops to the mat, but Omos stands him up to throw elbows! Omos reels Lashley back into a BEARHUG! Lashley is somehow conscious and fans still rally. Omos goes for another corner, Lashley slips free! Omos hits only buckles, Lashley runs in to fire haymakers! Lashley keeps Omos staggered, then he sends him into more buckles! Lashley kicks low, reels Omos in, and fans fire up as Lashley calls for it! But Omos wrenches out and swings, only for Lashley to get around! Lashley kicks low and wants it again! MASSIVE SUPLEX!

Fans are thunderous with Lashley as he runs and runs and SPEARS Omos from behind! He takes Omos down!! Omos gets back up but Lashley SPEARS again!! Cover, Lashley wins!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by pinfall

That was the MIGHTIEST win for Lashley, and the first loss for Omos! Somehow the ring is still standing, too! Will Lashley use this colossal win to climb back up the mountain of WWE?

 

Anything Goes: Sami Zayn VS Johnny Knoxville!

This all started because the “Elder Statesman” of SmackDown insulted the Jackass leading man, and then things got #InZayn. Sami is definitely a jackass in his own right, but will he have the last laugh? Or will Knoxville pull off the most exciting stunt of his career and win at WrestleMania?

The bell rings and Sami runs to HELLUVA KICK Knoxville right away! Sami is smiling ear to ear then he stomps away on Knoxville. Knoxville falls out of the ring, Sami goes out after him and brings him up to taunt the rest of the Jackass cast. Sami TOSSES Knoxville into barriers but the fans boo. Sami pie faces one and the others start swinging! Sami dares Dark Shark to do something, but he turns around into a FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLAST! Knoxville just cooled Sami off, and then he brings out a trash can full of goodies! Knoxville puts those in the ring, then gets a stop sign! He puts that in but Sami kicks low!

Sami headlock punches Knoxville then puts him in the ring. Sami gets the trash can, dumps it out, and picks up the classic cookie sheet. Sami blows it off so it’s clean, to SMACK Knoxville on the back with it! The sheet is dented, so Sami puts that aside to get the crutch. Sami plays around with the crutch and SMACKS Knoxville on the back! Now the crutch is bent! Sami gets the trash can itself, and he runs corner to corner, to CHUCK it into Knoxville! Sami covers, TWO! Sami is annoyed but he goes back out to look under the ring. Sami finds a wash bin and a bowling ball bag? And then a TABLE!

Fans fire up for the table and Sami slides it into the ring. But then Sami gets snapped by something? He looks under the ring, and it’s a bunch of mouse traps! Sami brings out a table covered in mouse traps! This must be Knoxville’s contraption. Sami likes how crazy Knoxville is, and he gets that thing set up. Sami gets in, to get TRASH CAN LID CYMBALS! And again! And again! Knoxville tosses those to get the stop sign! SMACK to Sami’s back! Sami writhes, Knoxville sets up the normal table in a corner. Knoxville drags Sami up, reels him in, but Sami knees the suplex away! Sami gets around to EXPLODER Knoxville through the table!

Sami drags Knoxville from the wreckage and covers, TWO! Knoxville is still in this and Sami is further annoyed. Sami stalks Knoxville, and Knoxville has a bloody cut on his forehead. Sami says Knoxville is in Sami’s world now! Sami has Knoxville in the corner, runs corner to corner, into an AIRHORN BLAST! Sami staggers, but he comes back to kick Knoxville down! But wait, Party Boy Pontius is in the ring!? Time to party~! Pontius pushes Sami and dances around, then rips off the shirt, and the pants! Classic! Sami is more disturbed than hurt, and he CLOBBERS Pontius! Sami stomps away and fans boo him ruining the party!

Sami drags Pontius up to toss him out! But Knoxville rolls Sami up! TWO!! Sami DECKS Knoxville, glares at Pontius then goes out. Sami stomps “Naked Boy” under the ring! Sami then goes looking, but he gets BOPPED by WEEMAN! Weeman fires off furious fists on Sami! Sami hurries away but Weeman chases him into the ring! Then SHIN KICK! Sami hobbles, Weeman scoops him!? And SLAMS him!! Fans are all fired up as Knoxville reels Sami in, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!?! Sami survives and no one can believe it! Weeman hurries to fetch another contraption from under the ring. It’s a ASS KICKING MACHINE!?

Knoxville drags Sami over, Sami fights back, but Weeman has the machine armed. Sami BOOTS Weeman down before he can fire! Fans boo, but Sami stomps away on Weeman! Weeman flops out of the ring, but Sami drags Knoxville around to rain down fists! Fans tell Sami what they think of him but Sami shrugs it off to go up top. Sami grins, but Knoxville has a remote? e sets off pyro and it spooks Sami! Sami drops, and Knoxville gets the BOWLING BALL! STRIKE to Sami’s boys! Then the Ass Kicking Machine is a GROIN KICKING MACHINE! Sami clutches whatever’s left down there, and Knoxville gets… a STUN GUN!

Knoxville tests them and they’re working! Sami freaks out and scrambles! Knoxville stalks Sami, but Sami turns around into GIANT HAND! Sami gets SMACKED off his feet, but he hurries into the ring! Knoxville hurries in but Sami stomps him down! “This is Awesome!” as Sami manages to snap suplex Knoxville! Sami snarls and goes to the apron. Sami is wary of the corner, but it seems safe now. Sami goes up top, but Knoxville TONGS THE GROIN! And then TOSSES Sami onto the mouse trap table!! Sami crashes down and fans lose their minds! Knoxville calls for help, so Dark Shark, Pontius and the whole crew get the WORLD’S LARGEST MOUSE TRAP out!

Weeman and Pontius puts Sami in the ring and Knoxville stalks behind him. Knoxville has the stun gun, and he ZAPS Sami! Sami is on the trap, Knoxville hurries to trigger it! Uh oh, technical malfunction. Knoxville unhooks the thing by hand, SNAP! Cover, the trap traps Sami, Knoxville wins!!

Winner: Johnny Knoxville, by pinfall

The Jackass cast celebrates with Knoxville! They may be the movie stars, but Sami is the one who is a jackass forever! How will Sami ever live this down?

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way: Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega VS Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya!

The Most Beautiful Woman in All the WWE (according to herself) and the Queen of the Ring brought much of this upon themselves. They thought they were unstoppable, but then they got stopped by Team Bad, by #Liv4Brutality, and by the Spades & Harts. Now, with only two teams legal at any given time, will they even be active when they lose these belts? Or will they find a way to defy the 75% chance of failure on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever?

The introductions are made for all four teams, the belts are raised, and we see who plays their hand right to take home the jackpot!

We start with Vega and Rhea but Mella gets her protective mask. Vega turns around to see who is there, and she tags right out! Rhea is fine with that, she and Mella circle. Then Mella tags out to Sasha! The champions are gambling letting other teams handle this. Sasha and Rhea get face to face, fans fire up, and Rhea calls for a test of strength. Sasha gives it with knuckle locks, they go shoulder to shoulder! Rhea pushes Sasha down to a cover, ONE! Rhea pushes the arm down, ONE as the other arm goes up! And ONE again as Sasha bridges! Rhea jumps up, Sasha monkey flips and slips around, but no Bank Statement!

Rhea pump handles, Sasha slips out, but Rhea shrugs the backstabber! Fans rally, Rhea and Sasha stare down, but Liv wants in. Rhea tags to Liv, but then Rhea and Naomi get mugged by the champs and the Queens! Liv and Sasha DIVE to take them all out! Liv and Sasha meet again and they circle. Liv goes Matrix, rolls Sasha, TWO! Sasha drop toeholds, scuffs Liv, swaggers to a Oklahoma Roll! TWO, Liv kicks but Sasha blocks to kick, only for Liv to block! CODE BREAKER! Sasha ends up by ropes, Liv runs in, springboard CODE BREAKER! But Natty tags in off The Boss! Liv hits OBLIVION on Liv, but Natty tags Shayna and BOOTS Liv down!

Natty runs and dropkicks Liv, then BOOTS Liv again! Shayna KNEES Liv for good measure, but she sees Rhea and the champions all get in. Everyone stands down, but it was that close. Shayna gets Liv’s leg isolated, and she STOMPS the foot! Liv writhes, Shayna keeps her from Rhea, and Shayna gets the leg for a HEEL HOOK! Liv endures, Shayna shifts to a toehold! Shayna twists and bends the foot and knee in all directions! Liv kicks with the good leg but Shayna flips her over. Shayna keeps Liv from Rhea but Liv ENZIGURIS! Mella tags in off Shayna, Shayna LARIATS Mella but has to leave!

Mella tells Shayna to go to her corner, but Liv is crawling to her corner! Vega tells Mella, so Mella DECKS Rhea! Rhea wants after her but the ref keeps her back, Mella bumps Liv off her boot, tag to Vega and the champions mug Liv. Vega takes a bow and soaks up the heat. Vega then hops on, CODE RED! Cove, Rhea drags Vega right off and up! Rhea puts Vega on top of the other corner but Mella CLUBS Rhea down! Natty CLOBBERS Mella, but Naomi hits a REAR VIEW! Shayna ROUNDHOUSES Naomi, Sasha BACKSTABBERS Shayna! Mella CLOBBERS Sasha but Rhea is up top! Mella gets her but the steiner is blocked!

Rhea brings Mella up, but Mella finishes the SUPER STEINER! Naomi tags in off Vega and then Vega LEAPS onto Rhea! Naomi tags Sasha, they get Liv up to double wrench, EAT TWO FEET! Tag back to Naomi, Team Bad take opposite corners! Shayna and Vega intercept Naomi and Mella is after Sasha! Natty helps Mella, but then Rhea and Liv each go after them! DOUBLE TOWERS OF DOOM!!! Fans are loving this as all eight women are down! Naomi and Liv are left as the legal two, and Naomi cradles Liv! TWO! Liv gets up, Rhea tags in, Liv hits WING SNAPPER to Rhea’s HEADBUTT!

Rhea then pump handles, Liv adds on, RIPTIDE BACKBRAEKER!! Cover, Sasha breaks it! Shayna gets in to throw Sasha out! Natty gets in to DECK Liv! The Queens POST Rhea, Shayna tags in. Natty GUT BUSTERS Naomi and Shayna KNEES her down! Cover, Liv breaks it! Liv and Shayna fire off, Shayna KICKS a leg to gut wrench SLAM Liv! Shayna tags Natty and they get Naomi back up. Natty runs, Mella tags in! Vega trips Natty, Mella FABULOUS KICKS Shayna! Mella bumps Sasha off the apron, then gets Naomi up. Naomi switches, O’Conner Roll, TWO! Vega KNEES Naomi, Mella rolls and FABULOUS KICKS! Cover, TWO!!

Naomi survives and Mella is furious! She covers again, TWO! Mella throws down fists and loses her cool! Mella goes in, Naomi BOOTS Mella down! Tag to Sasha and Sasha goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!?!? Mella survives, but BANK STATEMENT! Vega drags Mella back, BOOTS Naomi away, and the champions are safe on the outside. But Sasha goes to the apron to METEORA Vega! But Mella puts Sasha in! Mella runs in but Sasha powers her back! Tag to Naomi, ROUNDHOUSE! Tag back to Sasha, they work together, ASSISTED WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER!! Cover, Team Bad wins!!

Winners: Sasha Banks & Naomi, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

The challengers that got the ball rolling finally get the gold! Will all of the WWE feel the #BossGlow?

 

Edge VS AJ Styles!

The Rated R Superstar wanted a WrestleMania opponent because as much as he needs this, he feels this event needs him. The Phenomenal One stepped up, but then something changed in Edge. In trying to bring out the vicious side in Styles, Edge almost sidelined Styles for good. But Styles is back, and he already knows he’s going to do something awful back to “The Iconoclast.” Will this dream match turn into a nightmare for Styles? Or will this new Edge be less than phenomenal?

Styles already has a bloody scratch on his cheek, who knows how he got that. Meanwhile, Edge rises in a throne from under the stage with fire all around! The bell rings and fans are fired up already as these two stare down. Styles then rushes in, but Edge uses ropes as a defense. The ref has Styles back off, and Edge grins as he steps away from the ropes. They circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Styles manages to push Edge back but the ref counts. Edge avoids the big haymaker and then he trots to the opposite end. Edge smirks as he circles with Styles, but Styles KICKS the leg! Edge is annoyed but he and Styles circle more.

They tie up again, Edge gets the headlock, but Styles fights up to power out. They ram shoulders, Edge runs again but Styles hurdles and dropkicks back! Then Styles arm-drags Edge around, but Edge fakes out the third. Edge drops an elbow but misses and Styles KICKS the leg again! Styles wants the leg but Edge gets to ropes again. Fans rally and duel as Edge and Styles circle again. Styles and Edge tie up, Styles headlocks, but Edge pulls hair. Edge powers out, Styles rolls under to come back and headlock. Edge throws Styles off, but Styles avoids the boot to backslide! Edge rolls through but he wrenches out of the Clash!

Edge ROCKS Styles, but Styles avoids the Spear! Fans fire up as the two stare down. They reset, circling again, and Edge kicks low. Edge throws a forearm, whips Styles to ropes, but Styles slips out. Edge slides out but Styles slips in to ROCK him with a forearm! Slingshot FLYING- NO, Edge moves so Styles lands on the apron. SLIDING KNEE! Edge is sent into steel steps, too! Styles hops down, and dribbles Edge’s head off the side of steel steps! The ring count climbs, Styles drags Edge up and puts him in the ring. Styles then aims, springboards, 450 SPLASH onto knees! Edge saves himself, but he still clutches the knee after that impact.

Fans rally up while both men are down. Edge drags himself up the ropes, and he BOOTS Styles into the corner! Edge digs his knee into Styles’ ribs, then lets off to whip Styles to ropes. Edge KNEES Styles low, then whips him the other way to KNEE the ribs again! Styles falls over and Edge soaks up all the cheers and jeers from the fans. Edge stomps Styles down, then drags him back up to whip hard into a corner! Styles falls back, Edge covers, ROPEBREAK! Edge grabs that arm to add to the cover, ONE! Styles is still in this but Edge drags him back up. Styles ROCKS and CHOPS and ROCKS Edge again!

Styles whips, Edge blocks the hip toss to a cobra twist! Styles endures the stretch but Edge digs knuckles then an elbow into those bad ribs! Fans rally as Styles continues to endure. Styles elbows Edge’s leg, then hip tosses free! Edge gets up, but Styles blocks his kick! DRAGON SCREW! Edge is down and clutching his leg, Styles gets to ropes. Styles rushes back in, but into a scoop and SHOULDER BREAKER! But it was double-edged for Edge with the bad knee. Styles clutches the shoulder, that was the shoulder that got hurt by Edge during the Royal Rumble match. Styles gets to a corner but Edge storms over.

Edge stomps away on Styles but the ref counts. Edge lets off at 4, then KICKS Styles in the side! Edge drops knee after knee on Styles at the ropes but the ref has him stop at 4. Edge comes back, but Styles DECKS him with a haymaker! Both men are down again and fans rally back up! Styles works on his shoulder, and might have just popped it back into place! Styles gets up, Edge also rises, and Styles runs in, but is sent crashing into buckles! Both men are down again as Edge catches his breath. Fans rally, Edge slowly gets up and scowls at Styles. Edge goes to Styles in the corner, brings him up, but Styles snap suplexes Edge into buckles!

Both men are down again after that crash. Styles drags himself up, his left arm rather limp by his side. Styles drags Edge up with his good arm, rains down fists, then hits a new gear as he even manages to hit with his left! That still hurts Styles in return, and Styles stops his flurry. Fans rally and duel as Styles slowly stands back up. Styles drags Edge up, but Edge wrenches and hits an ARM BREAKER! Styles’ bad arm is a target for Edge and he just hit the mark! Edge then gets Styles’ arms for a motorcycle stretch. Styles endures, fights up to his feet, and kicks free to throw an elbow. But Edge avoids the Pele!

Edge drops down, Styles scrambles to avoid the crossface! Styles reels Edge in but Edge fights out of the Clash! Edge has the leg, STF!! Styles endures, reaches out, Edge grabs that arm to shift to full CROSSFACE! Styles uses his leg to get the ROPEBREAK! Edge lets go in frustration and both men are down again. Edge throws hands on Styles, then runs, but Styles avoids the shoulder to KICK Edge back! Edge staggers, Styles SLINGSHOT DDTS! But he can’t make the cover! Fans rally up as Styles goes to the corner and starts to climb. He drags himself up with one good arm, but Edge ROCKS him first!

Edge has Styles stuck in the ropes as he climbs up now, and Edge brings Styles up. Styles throws body shots, then sunset flips, but Edge holds on! Styles KICKS Edge’s leg, and gets him for a torture rack! TOWER HACKER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Both men are down again but fans rally up. Styles stands first, he fireman’s carries, but Edge elbows free! Edge reels Styles in, IMPALER! Cover, TWO!! Styles survives one of Edge’s best, but Edge is too tired to be frustrated. Edge gets up and he throws a forearm on Styles, then another. Styles dodges the next, to SNAP GERMAN Edge away! Both men are down again as the tanks are running on fumes!

Edge pushes himself up, as does Styles, and the fans are fired up again. The haymakers fly as both men are on their knees! Edge hits, Styles hits back, then they stand as they keep going. Styles HEADBUTTS again and again and again! Then fires off a haymaker! Styles blocks, fires off the Phenomenal Blitz, but Edge BOOTS! Styles PELES and Edge is wobbling! Styles rolls Edge, CALF CRUSHER!! Edge turns it over, has the arm, but Styles clasps hands! Styles moves, but Edge gets a LEBELLE LOCK!! Styles endures as Edge pulls him way back! Styles pries at the fingers, he gets free! But Edge ducks the buzzsaw, EDGE-O-MATIC! Cover, TWO!

Fans are rallying up again as both men slowly get back up. Styles is in the corner, Edge runs in but into a BOOT! Styles goes up, but Edge catches him for a SLINGSHOT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Styles rolls out to the apron, Edge goes out after him, and Edge CLUBS Styles on the neck. Edge stands Styles up, puts Styles up top, and he looks to the floor! Edge climbs up, but Styles slips out and CLUBS Edge down! They’re on opposite sides of the corner now, and Styles stands Edge up. Styles drags Edge to the top and goes up to join him. Is Styles going for what Edge wanted?! SUPERPLEX to the apron!!

Fans lose their minds as both men flop to the floor! The ring count starts and both men are still down at 5 of 10. Styles stands up at 9, he and Edge get in at 9.5! Styles drags himself up, takes aim and springboards again, 450 SPLASH to Edge’s back! Cover, TWO!! Edge survives again! Fans rally back up, Styles gets to his feet and he goes back to the apron. Styles prepares the arm, and he springboards, but Edge gets under! Styles rolls through, and hurdles the Spear! Edge hits ropes, Styles reels him in, STYLES CLASH!! Cover, TWO!?!?! How did Edge survive that?!! “This is Awesome!” as Styles gets to a corner.

Styles goes to the apron, and he aims again. Fans fire up, but Damian Priest appears?! Styles ignores him, springboards, into a SPEAR!! Cover, Edge wins!

Winner: Edge, by pinfall

Priest distracted just enough for Edge to get this! The Archer of Infamy gets in the ring with Edge, and kneels with him! These two are of like minds, will they both #LiveForever?

 

Tonight’s AT&T Stadium attendance: 78,453!

That’s even more than last night! What a STUPENDOUS turnout for WrestleMania 38 Sunday!

 

The New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge Holland w/ “Butch” Pete Dunne!

Originally meant for last night, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods finally get to take on the Celtic Warrior and Northern Grit! Will Big E and his ATV be avenged? Or will the Fella and his Fight Night Fight Club have their most STUPENDOUS victory ever?

But before teams sort out, Sheamus & Ridge attack! They beat down Kofi & Woods, stomp them, then take away the Big E tribute jackets! Dunne snatches those to throw them away! But the New Day fight back with big haymakers! Woods dumps Sheamus out, Ridge DECKS Kofi then tosses Woods! The ref has Ridge stay back for Kofi to get up, and the bell rings! Kofi spins Ridge for TROUBLE IN PARADISE!! Cover, Sheamus drags Kofi out of the ring! Sheamus drags Kofi up, Dunne wants after him but Sheamus tells “Butch” to stay back. Woods WRECKS Sheamus with a dropkick!

Woods dodges Dunne, Kofi gets up the corner and LEAPS in to CLOBBER Ridge! Sheamus has to keep Dunne away, Woods tags in! ROLLING ELBOW, HAYMAKER, and the straps come down! Woods runs, to SLIDING COMPLETE SHOT! Then Woods DECKS Sheamus, and Kofi LEAPS, into a BROGUE! Woods is furious but Ridge grabs him by his hair! Ridge reels Woods in, but Woods slips off the back suplex to SUPERKICK! Dunne gets on the apron, the ref is busy with him, Sheamus BROGUES Woods down! Ridge gets back up, he drags Woods up, NORTHERN GRIT! Cover, the fight club wins!

Winners: Sheamus & Ridge Holland, by pinfall

And Dunne goes after Woods! Sheamus & Ridge both have to drag Dunne away but Dunne wants to rip Woods’ ears off! With Dunne as a wild animal at ringside, will anything stop him, Sheamus & Ridge from doing whatever they want on SmackDown?

 

The Undertaker is here again!

The Deadman, the Phenom, and the headliner of the 2022 WWE Hall of Fame class is back once more for the fans. They chant #ThankYouTaker and he takes one more bow. And of course, he gives one last glance back before one last raise of the fist. Is this the last time we will see Taker on a WWE stage?

 

Austin Theory VS Pat McAfee!

For weeks on end, Vince McMahon’s newest golden boy has used the Chairman’s lessons and personal backing to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. But then Vince went onto Pat McAfee’s talk show to give him the great honor of being on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever… against the golden boy. Theory turned all his obnoxious energy towards McAfee and has really gotten under his skin. Will McAfee use that NFL Pro Bowl level leg to punt Theory’s punk ass all the way back to Atlanta? Or will it be A-Town Down in Dallas?

Before Theory enters, VINCE MCMAHON is here in person! He struts to the ring, gets himself a mic, and says, “Allow me to introduce you to a future WWE Universal Champion, Austin Theory!” Theory now makes his entrance, taking selfies the whole way down the ramp. Vince applauds but it doesn’t sound like many fans are in agreement. Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Vince wants them to quiet down for his selfie with Theory! Now McAfee makes his entrance to Seven Nation Army, with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders! Fans sing along as McAfee goes down the ramp. McAfee even punts a football to the fans! Free souvenir!

The bell rings and Theory rushes in! McAfee dodges to fire off hands! Theory staggers about, body blow! McAfee then DECKS Theory! Vince is already upset but McAfee storms up and Theory goes to ropes for defense. The ref backs McAfee off, Theory throat chop shim! Theory stomps away, fans boo but Theory tells them he’s the guy! Theory drags McAfee up, ROCKS him with a right, and has him in a corner. Theory whips corner to corner, McAfee goes up and over, then FLYING ELBOWS Theory down! Fans fire up for McAfee, and he runs in to RANA Theory! Cover, TWO! Vince is relieved but still upset with Theory.

McAfee has the fans all behind him and he gets Theory up, only for Theory to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Theory rains down rights and roars in anger, and Vince nods his approval. Fans boo, Theory looms over McAfee and drags him up. Theory DECKS McAfee but fans sing Seven Nation Army for McAfee! Theory just gets upset as he drags McAfee up, and snap suplexes! Theory looks to Vince and gets more approval, but then fans boo and Theory tells them to shut up. Theory drags McAfee back up, reels him in, and fans chant, “You Suck!” Theory says he does not, then he suplexes McAfee again.

Theory does victory laps around McAfee, and he mocks the fans cheering McAfee on. Theory looms over McAfee, fans chant “You Suck!” harder than before! Theory drags McAfee up, reels him in again, but McAfee fights the suplex to hit a suplex! Fans fire up, Byron keeps Michael Cole calm on commentary. Theory gets to the apron, McAfee gets up and checks his back. McAfee runs at Theory to BLAST him off the apron! Theory hits announce desk! McAfee fires up, Vince frowns, and McAfee gets the headset so he can say, “Pat McAfee’s beatin’ the hell outta Austin Theory! Kevin and Sally McAfee are watching their kid beat the hell out of a douchebag!”

McAfee then asks if Theory remembers this! ICE WATER TO THE FACE! Theory flails, McAfee SMACKS him off the desk! And again! And again! He’s even calling his shots! McAfee pushes Theory back into the ring, puts the headset back on the desk, and fans fire up as McAfee gets back in the ring. Vince is upset again, because McAfee has an idea. McAfee goes up the corner! Fans fire up as McAfee is up top, Seven Nation Army is echoing throughout the AT&T Stadium, and McAfee SWANTON BOMB FLOPS!! Austin Theory avoids disaster and Vince is finally happy again. Theory drags McAfee up, reels him in, BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO!!

Now Vince is upset again as McAfee survives. Theory smirks but is also annoyed with McAfee. Theory drags McAfee around to stomp him down, and Vince likes that. Theory says he’ll go up top now! Vince smiles, Theory climbs but fans boo harder. Theory says for them to shut up, but McAfee ROCKS Theory first! McAfee gets up top to join Theory, they fight up there, and McAfee gets Theory for- NO! Theory is fighting it off! Theory pushes McAfee, but McAfee flips to land on his feet?!? No one can believe it but we just saw it! And McAfee box jumps to get Theory, for the SUPERPLEX! Theory writhes, McAfee crawls to the cover, TWO!!

Fans are thunderous as these two are both down. Fans chant “Fight Forever!” but this has to end somehow! McAfee feeds off the energy from Seven Nation Army and the WWE Universe. McAfee lines up the shot, roars, and gets that Pro Bowl Leg started up! But Theory dodges the punt to dropkick the legs out! Theory DECKS McAfee with a forearm! Vince is smiling again as Theory drags McAfee up. Theory says McAfee is dead, but McAfee pie faces him! Theory rains down fists! Fans boo but Theory says McAfee is going down! Fireman’s carry, but McAfee slips out to roll Theory up, AND WINS!!!

Winner: Pat McAfee, by pinfall

HE DID IT! The boyhood dream comes true! McAfee is a WrestleMania winner!! Whether or not Vince likes it, this might be the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania moment ever! What will Theory have to do to redeem himself in Vince’s eyes? But then McAfee calls out Vince!? Vince starts to take the suit jacket off, but then thinks better of it. But then he takes it all the way off! And then he starts undoing the tie! McAfee dares Vince to get in, but Vince unbuttons the sleeves first. Vince untucks the shirt, takes it off, and he has the fight tank top on! Vince gets in the ring and McAfee himself is stunned speechless!

Wait the ref is back? IS this happening? Is this a thing that is happening?! But then Theory CLOBBERS McAfee! Of course Vince was just setting up someone who pissed him off! Vince still wants this to happen!?

Pat McAfee VS Vince McMahon w/ Austin Theory!

The bell rings and Vince LARIATS McAfee down! McAfee gets up again, but Vince bumps him off buckles! Theory applauds because duh, he hit McAfee dizzy before this match! McAfee gets up, he’s mad now, but Vince LARIATS him again! Vince taunts McAfee, then he taunts the fans. Fans admit, “You Still Got It!” Vince waits on McAfee to get up, and McAfee does, but Vince grabs him by his head! Vince tells McAfee this is what he gets, and he bumps McAfee off the buckles! Vince dusts off his hands, thinking he’s got this in the bag. Vince then waits as McAfee gets up again. McAfee snarls as Seven Nation Army starts up again.

McAfee tells Vince, this time it’s serious! He’s gonna punt his old ass right back to the office! But then Theory trips McAfee! And POSTS McAfee up the middle! The ref hesitates to disqualify this because the boss is right here! Vince smirks and the ref reprimands Theory, but that’s it. Vince toys with McAfee now, and then Theory says they should use the football! Theory hands it off to Vince, and Vince lines it up, to then fake the punt and strut around. McAfee manages to sit up, so Vince PUNTS the ball into McAfee! Cover, Vince wins!

Winner: Vince McMahon, by pinfall

But of course the whole thing was rigged from the start! Vince lets Theory celebrate, since Theory did do most of the damage. Theory even offers a hug? Vince decides to accept it! Since when has Vince hugged someone? BUT HERE COMES STONE COLD!! The better Austin is here and fans are loving it! Stone Cold gets right in the ring, tells Vince this is a bunch of BS, but Vince tries to defend what’s gong on. Theory goes after Stone Cold but gets smacked all around! STUNNER!! Theory goes flying outta the ring!! And Vince realizes he just stepped in it. Fans are electric as Stone Cold stares Vince down.

Vince tries to talk his way out of this, and Austin offers some Steveweisers. Vince is up for that, and they crack those open. Vince sips, and approves. The Broken Skull Stout is good stuff! Austin and Vince cheer, chug it down, and then STUNNER! Just like old times! Austin gets more Steveweisers, then he stomps Vince out of the ring! And Austin even invites McAfee into the ring! They do a double toast as Seven Nation Army echoes through the crowd! And then Austin just gets more beer! And then STUNNER for McAfee! #DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody! But at the same time, maybe a dream come true for McAfee! OH HELL… YEAH!!

 

WWE World & Universal Championships, Winner Takes All Title Unification: Brock Lesnar VS Roman Reigns w/ The Bloodline!

There is so much history here between these two Paul Heyman Guys. The Next Big Thing became The Beast, and the Big Dog became the Tribal Chief. They have fought back and forth many times, and it frustrates the Head of the Table to no end that he has yet to demolish Suplex City. But now, in the BIGGEST main event in WrestleMania history, to close out the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend ever, there can only be one alpha male of our species! Who will be our reigning, defending, and truly UNDISPUTED WWE Champion?

Roman is of course accompanied by The Usos as well as Paul Heyman. The Bloodline raises their titles to the sky and the pyro goes off. Then they go to the ring, raise the belts up again, and set off more pyro while CG Roman roars. Heyman then hands real Roman a mic, so that he can say, “WrestleManiaaaa…! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Fans are torn rather evenly, but then here comes Brock! Lesnar circles the ring, gets in and stares Roman right down. The introductions are made, with Heyman of course snatching the mic to introduce himself.

“Introducing first, the GOAT that slays a Beast, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion! RRRROMAN! RRREIGNS!” Then Heyman gives the mic back so Mike Rome can introduce the opponent, only for Lesnar to snatch the mic! “Ladies and gentlemen! The Cowboy Country Ass-kicker that’s gonna kick your ass tonight! The reigning! Defending! WWE Heavyweight Champion of the Wooorld~! BROCK! LESNAR!” With all that out of the way, the top titles are raised, and tonight, we ACKNOWLEDGE… history!

Fans are already thunderous as these two stare down at the bell. Lesnar literally takes off the gloves! Roman looks mildly concerned, and they tie up. Lesnar fires off shots, knees, then has Roman in a corner for shoulders! Roman hits back with haymakers! But Lesnar RAMS Roman back into the corner! And rams him in again! And again! And then again, before carrying Roman corner to corner! Lesnar RAMS Roman into that corner, then shoves Roman down! Lesnar waistlocks but Roman throws elbows. Lesnar lets Roman slip around, to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Then another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!

Suplex City gets going with a THIRD OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lesnar roars and scares Heyman, then Lesnar clotheslines Roman out of the ring! Lesnar goes out and he scares Heyman again. Heyman says all this was Roman’s idea! Heyman loves Lesnar, he can take Heyman back! But then Roman SPEARS Lesnar through barriers! They crash into the timekeeper’s area and Heyman’s cowardice was the perfect bait! Roman drags himself out of the wreckage, he gets back into the ring, and Heyman holds tight to the Universal title. The ring count climbs, Lesnar gets up at 5 but he’s far away from the ring!

Lesnar gets up at 8, hobbles at 9, and is in at 9.99!! Roman is upset and a bit shocked at this. Lesnar stands up, Roman SPEARS him down! Cover, TWO!! Lesnar survives and shocks Roman all over again! Roman goes back to a corner, locks ‘n’ loads, and waits as Lesnar rises. SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman talks smack then reloads, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman says look at him! Lesnar is getting whooped! Fans are torn down the middle as Roman gloats. Heyman tells Roman to focus, and Lesnar is laughing as he gets up!? Roman runs in, Lesnar gets around, GERMAN SUPLEX! And then another GERMAN SUPLEX!

Suplex City is rolling now with five total! Lesnar gets a third GERMAN SUPLEX, that’s half a dozen suplexes in all! Roman staggers, Lesnar says here we go, another GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up as Lesnar smiles. Roman flounders to a corner, Lesnar calls for another one! GERMAN SUPLEX! Five of those, eight total! Lesnar drags Roman back up again, fireman’s carries, but Roman fights free and shoves Lesnar into buckles! SUPERMAN PUNCH! Three superman punches but Lesnar is still getting up. Roman soaks up all the cheers and jeers, and Heyman points out Lesnar isn’t done yet!

Roman aims, “OOAH!” But Lesnar fireman’s carries out of the Spear, to F5!! Cover, TWO!! Roman survives, but Lesnar still looks amused! Fans rally and duel, Lesnar looms over Roman, and Lesnar drags Roman up. Another fireman’s carry, but Roman rakes eyes! Roman shoves Lesnar at the ref! Then SPEARS him into the ref! The ref is down, Roman LOW BLOWS Lesnar!! The Tribal Chief doesn’t care how he wins, he wants to win! Heyman hands Roman the Universal title belt, he aims and runs in, BELT SHOT!! Roman shouts to the ref to count this cover, TWO!?! Lesnar survives and Roman is confused!

Roman tries to put the math together on how Lesnar survives a low blow and belt shot. Fans rally and duel and Roman says this is his time! He has told us that no one will ever be able to follow him! Roman is the best! Roman is the number one superstar! But somehow Lesnar is sitting back up! Roman tells Lesnar to stay down, but Lesnar doesn’t listen. So Roman runs and runs and SPEARES Lesnar! Cover, ROPEBREAK! Roman is frustrated again but he just builds speed, SPEAR into a Kimura?!? Lesnar catches the tackle and the arm!! Roman is enduring as Lesnar twists the arm way back!!

Roman reaches out, Heyman tries to push the rope closer but it’s not working! Lesnar has the body scissors, even! Roman drags himself with one good arm, ROPEBREAK!! Lesnar holds until the ref counts 4, doing as much damage as he can! Heyman coaches Roman up but Roman says his shoulder is dislocated! But this is for the Bloodline! “Rise up, this is your moment!” Lesnar drags Roman up, he fireman’s carries, but Roman slips out and shoves, to SPEAR!! Cover, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall (UNDISPUTED WWE Universal Champion)

And with that, Roman is truly on top of the WWE hierarchy! He manages to lift both titles, despite the left arm’s damaged state. Lesnar gets up with a scowl, has the Beast finally been slain? Is there no one that can stop Roman now that he is THE champion in the WWE?


My Thoughts:

Again, not sure if this was the “most stupendous” WrestleMania ever, but there was some great stuff. And also some not great stuff, but WWE can’t get everything right (anymore). Whatever reason that delayed New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge to tonight apparently didn’t change anything. That should’ve been a kickoff show, because Vince did New Day dirty. Why can’t New Day win one for Big E? Why does Vince constantly take PB&J and make salads out of them? Yep, I’m reusing my food metaphor from yesterday with Stand & Deliver because this is that booty.

The Raw Tag Triple Threat was a great opener, though. All the teams got to shine, I love that they went with a true Triple Threat where all teams have an active man, and it was awesome for RKBRO to retain. I’m a little surprised Profits stayed Face here but it did work for the moment with Gable Steveson. Steveson got to throw Chad Gable around, that’ll help him hit the ground running now that he’ll be on Raw with all these guys. Omos VS Lashley was a pretty good big man match, but as I was saying on the way to this, it was all a wash. Omos losing is big for Lashley but Lashley was already pretty built up without this. Maybe Omos wants a rematch at WM Backlash?

Sami VS Knoxville, Anything Goes was such a great match. They brought out all sorts of wild stuff, and I love that the Jackass cast got involved. Weeman had an awesome part, and the giant mouse trap finish was genius. Sami will surely complain about this but of course people will point out this was Anything Goes, and Sami will fight whoever it is because of that. The WWE Women’s Tag Fatal 4 was also great stuff, and while it went “two teams legal at a time,” I actually like that for this situation. There were many good uses of the opportunistic tags, and in the end, they made the right move. The champions lost and a SmackDown team wins. Sasha & Naomi will be big hits with these belts on both Raw and SmackDown so that both USA and Fox will be happy.

Edge VS Styles was also great, especially Edge’s King of Brood entrance. And speaking of which, it’s rather ironic Damian Priest is the one joining Edge. The whole time in NXT, it felt like Priest was bordering on being a vampire, and now he’s joining one of the original Brood members. This new Brood, whatever it’ll be called, will be great, and I can’t wait to see where it goes. Then there was everything with McAfee, Theory, Vince and Stone Cold, THAT was the most STUPENDOUS stuff of this whole weekend. Everyone in AT&T Stadium was loving McAfee, he had an amazing performance, got some Jeff Hardy level air in that Swanton, and rightfully won against Theory.

McAfee taking on Vince was wild, but of course Theory gets his Heel heat back helping Vince. And of course everyone got a stunner. McAfee’s living the dream, including taking a stunner. I’m sure McAfee will be fine going back to commentary, but now everyone knows he can easily come back off the desk to throw down with whoever. And then we got a pretty great match out of Lesnar VS Roman, with a lot of good references back to their previous showdowns.

However, there is a lot that feels off with that finish. Roman was talking about the bad shoulder, so was that shoot? Things ended suddenly after that, that is not good story writing if it was a work. Roman should’ve struggled for another two minutes to then get that last Spear and the win. But Vince doesn’t care about pacing or details, only results. At least now he’s finally gotten to make Roman THE guy in WWE history, so good for Vince. But where’s this going to go? Roman VS The Rock? But that’s no less than a SummerSlam match, more fitting of next year’s WrestleMania Hollywood. Again, Vince doesn’t care about pacing with this stuff, just results.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (7/26/24)

SmackDown throws down the gauntlet!

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Who will make it to the end?

While SummerSlam is on the horizon, SmackDown prepares NEW #1 contenders to the WWE Tag Team Championships, through a gauntlet match!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Gauntlet: ??? wins and will challenge DIY for the titles.
  • Bayley & Mia Yim VS Nia Jax & Tiffany Stratton; win.
  • LA Knight VS Santos Escobar; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to the scheduling choices of KFOX14 (El Paso & Las Cruces), coverage of SmackDown will not begin until 9PM Eastern]


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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on

The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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