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Mitchell’s WWE WrestleMania 38 Results & Report! (4/2/22)

OH HELL… YEAH!

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It’s night one of the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever!

And with that comes Stone Cold Steve Austin’s return, on the KO Show! Who will be given the most stupendous Stunner in WWE history?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs; The Usos win and retain the titles.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Happy Corbin w/ Mad Cap Moss; McIntyre wins.
  • The Mysterios VS The Miz & Logan Paul; The Miz & Logan win.
  • Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch VS Bianca Belair; Bianca wins and becomes the new Raw Women’s Champion.
  • Seth Rollins VS Cody Rhodes; Rhodes wins.
  • SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair VS Ronda Rousey; Charlotte wins and retains the title.
  • No Holds Barred: Kevin Owens VS Stone Cold Steve Austin; Austin wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WrestleMania 38 Kickoff Show!

Watch on USA Network, YouTube, Peacock for American viewers and WWE Network everywhere else for the most STUPENDOUS two hour kickoff! Join Kayla Braxton, Kevin Patrick, Booker T, John “Bradshaw” Layfield and Peter Rosenberg as they discuss, analyze and predict all the action for night one!

The Bump’s Matt Camp is among the WWE Universe tailgaters and they are all fired up for tonight! Everyone’s got their belts, their shirts, and plenty of Austin 3:16 shirts among them!

 

Maria Menounos talks with Seth Rollins!

What’s shaking? Long time no see! The Visionary is dressed to impress in his Beetlejuice best! It’s all about style at Mania, baby! And a big night for him because he is facing someone of Mr. McMahon’s choice. Any ideas as to who this is? Well the world is guessing! Who is Vince McMahon going to choose? A legend from the past? Booker? The Rock? Hogan? Or someone new from NXT, a Bron Breakker or Carmelo Hayes? Or maybe… Yes! What if it was for one night only, Vince himself suits up and struts on down to face him? Wouldn’t that be something?

But Rollins has learned through this journey is that no matter who it is, it isn’t about them! It’s about ROLLINS! This is his time! His moment! His WrestleMania! He is a visionary, he is a revolutionary and… He is Seth FREAKIN’ ROLLINS!

 

Jackie Redmond joins the WWE Universe!

As you can hear, the excitement is off the charts and still building as more fans come in! This one guy has Taker shaved into his head! But then we have young Christian here as Universal Champion all the way from California to see Ronda Rousey! She’s his favorite, because she won the Royal Rumble! But he also has a great Stone Cold Stunner, which he shows off on his dad! We might see one of those on Kevin Owens courtesy of THE Stone Cold!

But speaking of Kevin, he “crashed” WWE Axxess yesterday, and he went right to the Stone Cold section, to push shirt racks over! And he even SMACKED the head off an Austin cut-out! “It’ll be even easier tomorrow night when I meet Austin in person.” And then he sprays GRAFFITI all over a Steve Austin mural! As if Kevin wasn’t asking for the Texas Rattlesnake to open up a whoop-ass before! Will Stone Cold open up a whole six pack of whoop-ass on the obnoxious KO?

 

Matt Camp is with more fans.

Who do they want? Ronda Rousey! Who do they want? Rey Mysterio! Who else? More Ronda! Well alright, plenty of Ronda fans here! Will she be new SmackDown Women’s Champion?

 

Jerry “The King” Lawler joins the panel!

Fans chant for “JERRY! JERRY!” and Jerry thought he was going to be replacing Kevin Patrick. He has the flower disease, y’know. Cuz he’s a bloomin’ idiot!

Jake Paul also joins the panel to boo himself. But he says his brother, Logan Paul, is gonna take on Rey Mysterio and no one will be booing. Rey is old! How much has Logan been preparing? His whole life! State championship wrestler, this is what the Paul brothers were built for. Logan has been locked in for this! He is not taking this lightly, and he has a special connection to The Miz. Then the crowd will bow down to Logan! Fans should boo themselves! But doesn’t it surprise Jake that Miz and Logan work so well? Not at all! This is Logan’s time to shine. The Mysterios are father-son, but it’s time for new people to take the W in the WWE.

The King says Rey hit the jerk-pot with Dominik. When Dom was born, the parents got a ticket for littering. Wow, King is on the Pauls’ side? Kayla says they are focused, and Peter says the Pauls work their tails off when push comes to shove. Logan fought Floyd Mayweather. Logan is gonna throw Rey’s mask to the fans then throw Rey out of the arena! He’s that little! But Booker faced Rey for the world title, That is one of the most accomplished superstars in history. Booker does follow the Paul Brothers, they love their city. Is Miz putting Logan in a situation he shouldn’t be in after ripping on Cleveland?

Well, Logan doesn’t control Miz. At the end of the day, they’re going into battle. The Paul Brothers love Cleveland. Okay, but hopefully Logan isn’t a follower, or he’ll end up in trouble. Well you don’t think Miz can’t handle himself? Then Rey & Dom have a chance at losing? Jerry says Jake can tell Booker about it. This is easy work! Kayla says the Mysterios have a lot to prove, though. She’s a fan, that’s all. Peter asks if Jake would want to jump in the ring. Jake says he might jump on a fan right now. He knocks out people like them for a living! Jake might even just get in the ring with his brother. He’s gonna have words with those who boo his brother.

Will Logan & Miz win one for The Land? Or will the Mysterios get payback for all the things Miz & Logan have been up to?

 

Jackie Redmond has more fans.

She has the best dressed member here, Peyton cosplaying her favorite, Rhea Ripley! Rhea inspires Peyton to be herself, and that is a great role model to have. How pumped is she? Beyond pumped! It’s surreal even being here being interviewed. Well it is real! Throw us back to the panel with a Rhea brutality stomp! Sure! BAM! Nailed it! Maybe this is a future WWE Superstar!

 

Maria talks with The New Day!

Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods are stylish here, and Maria welcomes Woods back. Good to be back! Especially here at WrestleMania! And they are gonna tear Sheamus’ boys apart! Woods wasn’t gonna let Kofi take on “Butch, Botch and Bitch” all alone! OH~ NO~! Time to break the brakes off them EastEnders rejects!. Kofi is former world champion, Woods is King of the Ring, and they are the longest reigning W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAPMIONS~! Yes they twerk and smile and dance, but every once in awhile, ya bois gotta remind people that they will put their feet betwixt the cheeks of their enemies! But they’re outnumbered, so how are they going to win?

Well if Butch gets involved, he will be done. This isn’t the first time they didn’t have their backs against the wall, either! And they had their backs all up against the wall in the club! Nasty twerks! But tonight, they worry about nottin’. Why? BECAAAAAUSE~~! NEW! DAY ROCKS! NEW! DAY ROCKS! Clap along!

 

Mad Cap Moss joins the panel.

Moss thinks they should as YOUR 2022 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal winner about McIntyre VS Corbin. And he’s working on his Mania tan, by the way. But listen, there is on doubt that Happy Corbin is staying undefeated! He is synonymous with WrestleMania! The Andre the Giant Battle Royal, retiring Kurt Angle, and it’ll take an act of God to save McIntyre! Maybe instead of a Claymore, he needs to PRAY MORE! Moss is cracking up and Booker actually does like it. Moss says McIntyre is so Scottish and arrogant, he plays… the BRAG PIPES!

Okay, one more! Okay, okay, Happy will run him pillar to post, wear him out, and there will be nothing left in the take. he won’t be Drew McIntyre, he’ll be Drew McInTIRED! Booker likes it! Does he have one more? Moss says the fans don’t deserve one more! Well thank goodness. Jerry has one: Moss wishes he had a lower IQ so he could enjoy the fans’ company. Kayla tells Moss to wish Corbin luck, he’s gonna need it.

 

Titus O’Neil is on stage!

He shouts out Dallas, Texas and they bark back. He welcomes them to the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania weekend ever! As a global ambassador, he is here to recognize five charity organizations here in Dallas and they are being awarded WWE Community Championships! North Texas Food Bank, Café Momentum, Four Oak Cliff, VogelAlcove, and the Family Place are all represented here. But they can’t have the most stupendous weekend without some very special news. Each and every one of these organizations are receiving a grant on behalf of WWE and DoorDash of $20 THOUSAND!!

Everything is bigger in Texas, right? So then how about we share in front of the millions all over the world with a big round of applause, WrestleMania style! Fans cheer the great work these organizations are doing in Texas.

 

Performing America the Beautiful, it’s multi-platinum country star, Bradley Gilbert!

 

The pageantry, the magnificence, and the excitement of WrestleMania!

Stars are made, legends are born, but do you hear that? Mark Wahlberg says that’s the sound of greatness. There is a Texas sized helping up for grabs, if they can find it. Greatness is elusive and exclusive. Just look at those who have caught it. Hogan, Andre, HBK, HHH, Taker, Cena. No one said it was easy. The truth is, there is no roadmap to greatness. Even the great ones get lost and they have to fight their way back. So bring it on! The big time fight! The open a can fight! The baddest woman on the planet fight. “And that’s just tonight.” Welcome to the most STUPENDOUS two night WrestleMania in history!

 

Welcome the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders!

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs!

Jimmy & Jey represent the Bloodline and are kicking off the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend, but will they still be the longest reigning SmackDown Tag Team Champions ever? Or will the King of Strong Style and his rockin’ bard be the starts that shine big and bright here in the heart of Texas?

McAfee of course rocks out during the entrance of Boogs ‘n’ Nakamura, and especially as they rock that Mike’s Harder Half ‘n’ Half orange ‘n’ yellow. They even rock out with the “Harder Farmer!” But the Usos are in white with some red as they bring the gold. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and WrestleMania 38 finally begins!

The teams sort out and Nakamura starts with Jimmy, DYNAMIC DROPKICK at the bell! Nakamura fires off more kicks, Jimmy blocks but Nakamura ENZIGURIS! Nakamura gives Jimmy GOOD VIBRATIONS already! The ref counts, Nakamura lets off and gets Jimmy up onto the top rope. Nakamura runs in to TOP SHELF KNEE! Cover, ONE! Jimmy headlocks, Jey tags in as Nakamura powers out, but Jimmy scoops and BACKBREAKER, to Jey’s FLYING AX HANDLE! Jey drags Nakamura up, reels him in, BIG back suplex! Jey holds up his finger, #WeTheOnes. Nakamura ROCKS Jey back and wraps on a SLEEPER!

Jey snapmares free and CLOBBERS Nakamura! Tag to Jimmy, they split the wishbone on Nakamura! Jimmy drags Nakamura up and chokes him on ropes! The ref counts, Jimmy lets off but Jey gets a cheap shot in! Jimmy looms over Nakamura, stomps him, then talks trash. Jimmy stands Nakamura up but Nakamura fires off strikes first! Nakamura blocks a kick but gets the DRAGON WHIP! Cover, TWO! Jimmy drags Nakamura up into a chinlock but fans rally. Nakamura endures, fights up, reaches out, but Jimmy keeps him from Boogs. Jimmy scoops, Nakamura slips off, Jimmy ducks the roundhouse but not the WHEEL KICK!

Both men are down and fans rally up. Jimmy and Nakamura crawl, hot tags to Jey and Boogs! Boogs rallies with big ax handles, then he hits Jimmy with some! Boogs scoops Jey but Jey slips off to mule kick! And uppercut! Jey says hush, but he runs into a BEARHUG! Boogs squeezes tight, then brings Jey up into a stalling suplex! Fans fire up as Boogs kneels, but then stands back up to SLAM Jey down! Cover, TWO! Boogs wants Jey to get up, and he fires up. Fans rally, Boogs fireman’s carries but he sees Jimmy coming! Jimmy just gest added to the pile! But the bad leg gives up! Boogs is still suffering a bit from the damage the Usos did to him weeks ago!

Boogs manages to tag Nakamura in and Nakamura PLANCHAS onto the Usos! Nakamura puts Jey in, fires off strikes, then knees low and AX KICKS! Nakamura whips Jey to a corner, runs in but blocks boots! He puts Jey in ropes, ROUNDHOUSE and SLIDING GERMAN! Jey flounders and Nakamura hurries back in. Nakamura takes aim, “YAO~!” But Jey SUPERKICKS first! Hot tag to Jimmy and he’s up top, USO SPLASH! Cover, TWO!?! Nakamura survives and no one can believe it! That splash usually does it! Medics are checking Boogs, it does not look good for him, Nakamura is truly alone in this.

Jimmy drags Nakamura back up, waistlocks, but Nakamura fights with elbows! Jey tags in but Nakamura hits him, too. Jey holds Nakamura and Jimmy SUPERKICKS! The Usos whip, ONE AND DONE!! Cover, Usos win!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (still SmackDown Tag Team Champions)

And that’s all it takes! Boogs’ leg couldn’t hold up, and Nakamura couldn’t beat both Usos alone! Will Jimmy & Jey always have the SmackDown Tag Division on lockdown?

 

Drew McIntyre VS Happy Corbin w/ Mad Cap Moss!

The Scottish Warrior has had his problems with Baron Corbin for a long, long time. But things have gotten more personal than any time before. Corbin tried to end McIntyre’s career at Day One, and since then he’s been laughing at McIntyre’s misery. Will McIntyre make Corbin pay in blood? Or will Corbin just keep his Happy Undefeated Streak going?

The bell rings and McIntyre goes right at Corbin with forearms and haymakers! Corbin ROCKS McIntyre back, throws more shots, then body shots in the corner. Corbin whips corner to corner, McIntyre rebounds to CLOBBER Corbin! McIntyre brings Corbin up, bumps him off buckles, then CHOPS through that stupid looking shirt! Corbin kicks back, runs, but McIntyre follows to clothesline Corbin out! McIntyre goes out and storms up to bring Corbin up. McIntyre smacks Corbin off apron, then RAM him into barriers. McIntyre puts Corbin in the ring, but Corbin KNEES McIntyre back out!

Corbin runs and POSTS McIntyre! McIntyre hits the floor, Moss cheers but he’s the only one. Corbin goes out, fetches McIntyre back in and Moss pats him on the back. Corbin gets in, stomps the bad leg and throws haymakers. Corbin talks trash but McIntyre counter punches! He backs Corbin down, whips but Corbin reverses! McIntyre hits buckles hard and falls to the mat! Cover, ONE!! Corbin is upset, he drags McIntyre up and says McIntyre ain’t got it. Corbin suplexes high and hard! Moss is fired up, but he’s the only one. Corbin looms over McIntyre as he gets up. Corbin reels McIntyre in, BIG back suplex! Cover, ONE!!

Corbin argues the count but Moss says no worries, he’s in control! McIntyre sits up, Corbin stands him up to knee him low. Corbin says to watch, and he runs to ROCK McIntyre with a right! Moss is fired up and Corbin runs again, for another BIG right! Moss hoots and hollers but he’s in the way as Corbin wants to run again! Corbin tells him to get down! Moss apologizes, Corbin turns around into a SPINEBUSTER! McIntyre snarls and fans fire up, McIntyre gets going and he rallies on Corbin with clotheslines! McIntyre whips, Corbin reverses but he runs in and McIntyre dodges. Corbin slides out, in, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!

McIntyre gets around to NECKBREAKER! And kip up! Fans fire up with McIntyre and he waits on Corbin. Corbin stands, McIntyre kicks low and underhooks, but no Future Shock! Corbin wrenches out but McIntyre ROCKS him! McIntyre runs, into DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO! Corbin is frustrated, as is Moss. Corbin catches his breath while fans rally up. McIntyre gets up, Corbin choke grips him! But McIntyre slips out of the slam to shove Corbin to a corner! McIntyre runs in but is put outside. He still ROCKS Corbin, climbs up top, LEAPING LARIAT! Fans fire up and McIntyre gives us the countdown!

THREE! TWO! ONE! But Corbin bails out! McIntyre just FLIES! Direct hit on the Happy Folks! Fans are loving this as all three men are down! McIntyre gets up, puts Corbin in the ring, and he sees Moss running in! OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up as McIntyre climbs again, but Corbin gets under the leap! END OF- NO! McIntyre slips through and ROCKS Corbin! But Corbin ducks the Claymore! END OF DAYS!! Cover, TWO!?! Corbin can’t believe his best move fails him!! It’s been perfect all this time, it’s like a part of him died! Fans are thunderous as Corbin snarls and drags McIntyre back up.

McIntyre wrenches out, kicks low, FUTURE SHOCK! McIntyre kips up again! Fans fire up and we get another countdown! THREE! TWO! ONE! CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Scottish Warrior finally smiles, because he just vanquished Happy Corbin! No more undefeated streak, no more End of Days being perfect, will all this send Corbin back into his bumass phase?

But wait! Moss tries to get in, but McIntyre points his sword at him! Moss says to take it easy, but then McIntyre SLASHES THE ROPES! Moss freaks out, but who wouldn’t? Is this a sign that the Scottish Warrior is going to carve a path back to the top of the WWE?

 

The Mysterios VS The Miz & Logan Paul!

Rey & Dominik, father and son, have already made history together in this dream come true. But will things start to become a nightmare at the hands of the Most Must-See (and obnoxious) Tag Team in WWE? Or will Dominik prove to Miz and all the doubters that he deserves to be here with his dad?

The teams sort out and Rey is calling out Logan! Logan says nope, and Miz starts against the King of Lucha. They circle, then Logan swipes at Rey! Miz kicks Rey to the corner, fires off hands and stomps, then he tags Logan in. Logan soaks up the heat, he and Miz mug Rey, then they let off as the ref reprimands. Logan brings Rey around, but Rey waistlocks! And headlocks! Logan powers up to power out, then hurdles, hurdles, and does the splits, into a BUZZSAW! Miz tags in, but runs into a RANA! Tag to Dom, the Mysterios double wrench, sweep and coordinate, wheelbarrow VICTORY SPLASH! Cover, TWO!

Dom drags Miz up to whip to a corner. Miz reverses but Dom slips out and hotshots Miz down! Dom hurries to LIONSAULT! Logan runs in, Dom ROCKS him! Knuckle lock, Dom goes up and up and leaps to DOUBLE TOSS Logan and Miz! Fans fire up and Dom goes up and TORNILLOS Miz down! Dom gets Miz into the ring, fans fire up with him, but Miz bails out. Rey is there to keep Miz from running too far, but Logan CLOBBERS Dom from behind! Miz gets in to stomp away on Dom, then he drags Dom up. Miz bumps Dom off buckles, throws back elbows, then he tags Logan in. Miz puts Dom up top for Logan to scoop and POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!

Logan stomps Dom, taunts Rey, shows off how fast he can punch air, then he stomps Dom more. Tag to Miz, he and Logan fire off IT KICKS on Dom! Fans boo but they soak it up, DOUBLE IT KICKS! Cover, TWO! Miz chinlocks, Dom fights up and throws hands! Miz shoves Dom, reels him in, but Dom turns backbreaker into backslide! TWO, but Miz drags Dom from Rey! Miz whips Dom to a corner, throws back elbows, then tags back to Logan. Miz whips Dom into Logan’s BOOT! Logan goes up the corner and talks trash, to BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Logan paces, Rey rallies the fans but Logan stomps Dom.

Fans fire up but Logan throws knees. Logan bumps Dom off buckles, Miz tags in, and they both stomp away on Dom. Miz digs his boots in, the ref counts, Miz lets off. Dom sits up, Logan CHOKES him on the ropes! Rey protests but the ref has him go back to the corner. Miz soaks up heat, stands Dom up and whips him back into the corner, but Dom DECKS Logan! Dom fires off more hands, kicks Miz and kicks Logan for the TORNADO DDT! Both Dom and Miz are down and fans fire up again! Dom crawls, Miz grabs at him, but hot tag to Rey! Rey dodges, tilt-o-whirls and headscissors Miz! Miz puts Rey out but Rey ROCKS Miz!

Rey goes up, leaps, SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps going, ducks and whips Miz, but Miz sunset flips! Rey rolls through to BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO! Rey keeps moving, but Miz sends him out again. Rey shoulders back in, ROCKS Miz then goes back up. MOONSAULT! Direct hit on Miz, but Logan breaks the pin! Logan and Miz get Rey up with a double suplex, but Dom SUPERRKICSK! Rey cradles Miz, TWO!! Rey drop toeholds Miz to ropes! Dial it up, but Miz scoops Rey, only for Rey to tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO!! Miz survives but Rey keeps his cool and fans fire back up. Rey kicks Miz, snap suplexes, Uno Amigo!

Rey gets Miz up again, Dos Amigos! Fans fire up more as Rey gets up again, but Miz slips out to shove Rey into a POST! Logan tags in, he sucker punches Dom! Then Logan BOOTS Rey! Logan drags Rey up and he suplexes! Uno Logan! Then another, Dos Logans! Logan wants and hits the THREE LOGANS! And even a kip up! Logan goes to a corner, climbs up, and with some Logan Heat, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!! Rey survives and Dom gets in, but Logan whips. Dom reverse to send Logan out hard! Dom builds speed, to DIVE on The Miz! Miz takes the hit for Logan but Dom chases Logan down!

They get in the ring, Rey RANAS Logan to the ropes! DIAL IT UP!! But Miz tags in before the DOUBLE 619!! Dom goes up, FROG SPLASH onto Logan! Rey goes up, FROG SPLASH AGAIN! But Miz is legal, he SLAMS Dom down on Rey! Then SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! Cover, Miz & Logan win!!

Winners: The Miz & Logan Paul, by pinfall

Dallas is furious, but Miz outmaneuvered the Mysterios to get himself and Logan a WrestleMania win! And then Miz hits Logan with a SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! Fans cheer as Miz does the right thing for once! But what does this mean for Miz and Logan in the future?

 

Stephanie McMahon is here!

The Chief Brand Officer of WWE is back! And she just wanted to come out here to take the opportunity to say, “Thank you.” She is always blown away by the majesty of WrestleMania, the power of the fans coming from around the world to celebrate this one thing that we all love. “We say then, now, forever, together, for a reason.” And it is now her honor to introduce a key member of the next generation. He brought home the gold from Tokyo, just won his SECOND NCAA Championship in Heavyweight Wrestling. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Olympic gold medalist, GABLE STEVESON!

Fans cheer Steveson as he stands with Stephanie on stage. She raises his hand, he is ready to be on Monday Night Raw! Will Steveson make a name for himself in pro-wrestling and be back on WrestleMania next year?

 

Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch VS Bianca Belair!

The Man headlined WrestleMania 35, The EST main evented WrESTleMania 37 Night One. But when these two met at SummerSlam, Becky stunned everyone with a 26 second win to get the SmackDown Women’s Championship back. Long roads have led us to this, and now we see if Big Time Becks’ time is up! Will this be WrESTleMania Part 2 on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend ever?

Becky’s entrance is a Marvel Cinematic parody, and she is brought on stage by a white SUV. Becky shows off her title and her new haircut as she struts down to the ramp. Preceding Bianca is the marching band from Texas Southern University! They play her theme and then the EST herself appears as the drum major! The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see just who really is the greatEST!

Fans fire up as these two stare down. Bianca hears the chants for “E S T!” but so does Becky, and that only upsets Becky more. They circle, approach, and Bianca offers a handshake? Becky throws a sucker punch! And tries the Manhandle, but Bianca fights out! Torture rack, but Becky lands on her feet out of KOD! She uses the ponytail! MANHANDLE SLAM!! Cover, TWO!! Becky can’t believe it! Bianca survives, and this match is already going longer than SummerSlam! Becky hurries to get an arm but Bianca has the ropebreak! The ref counts, Becky KICKS Bianca down! Cover, TWO!

Becky stomps away on Bianca, covers again, TWO! Becky rains down elbows, covers, TWO! A leg drop, cover, TWO! Becky cools off, clearly she has to try something else. Becky paces, goes back to Bianca, but gets caught in a cradle! TWO, and Becky hurries for a cover, but with feet on the ropes! The ref sees that, no good for Becky! Becky argues with the ref, but then Bianca spins Becky around and reels her in! Snap suplex and roll through to a stalling suplex, but Becky makes it a DDT! Cover, TWO! Becky is slightly amused now, because Bianca is hanging tough. Becky dusts off her hands, looms over Bianca, and drags her to a drop zone.

Fans rally as Becky goes to the corner, climbs up top, MOONSAULT FLOPS! Bianca hurries to steal the DISARM-HER!! The Man is enduring her own hold! Becky moves around, gets a foot for the ROPEBREAK, but Bianca drags her away! Becky trips Bianca, Oklahoma Roll, TWO! Bianca covers, TWO! Bianca kicks low, reels Becky in, scoops her, but Becky pops up top! Bianca blocks the victory roll, TWO! Becky gets the roll, TWO! Bianca has it again, TWO! Bianca ends u p in a corner and Becky boots her low! Becky reels Bianca in but Bianca throws Becky out! Bianca’s ponytail comes into play again as Becky drags her out!

Becky tries to whip, Bianca reels Becky in and scoops! But Becky slips off and RAMS Bianca into steel steps! Bianca is down and Becky wants a count-out! The count begins as Becky paces in the ring. Bianca stirs, gets up and in at 5, but Becky is right after her! BECKSPLODER! Bianca flounders again and Becky soaks up the heat. Becky drags Bianca up to BECKSPLODER again! Becky soaks up the heat again as she drags Bianca up again, BECKSPLODER! #SuBecksCity! Cover, TWO! Bianca flounders but Becky stays close. Becky wrenches to WRING Bianca into the ropes! Bianca writhes and clutches her neck!

Becky gloats as Bianca sputters, then Becky drags Bianca up to whip into a corner. Becky runs in, but Bianca slips out and ROCKS Becky! Bianca shoulders in, slingshots up, but into a SUPERKICK! Becky has Bianca stuck on the ropes, and she goes to the corner! GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Bianca is still in this and Becky is growing frustrated again. Becky stomps Bianca, drags her up by her ponytail and wraps on a SLEEPER! Bianca endures, Becky throws crossface forearms, then keeps on the sleeper. Fans rally, Bianca fights up, and Bianca throws body shots. Bianca snapmares free, dodges Becky, then goes up, only for Becky to YANK her down!

Becky reels Bianca in, BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! To ARMBAR! Bianca flails, claws at Becky, and powers up to go for a stack! Cover, TWO! Becky keeps the arm, has more of a Triangle Hold now, and even uses the ponytail to drag Bianca in deeper! Bianca just powers up again to deadlift Becky, but Becky RANAS Bianca out of the ring! Both women hit the floor and fans fire up! The ring count climbs, both women are down at 5 of 10, but Bianca gets in at 7! Becky drags her out, then pops Bianca up. Bianca handsprings off ropes to suplex Becky, and SLAM her on the floor! Fans fire up as both women are down again!

Another ring count begins, we’re past 5 of 10 already. Bianca puts Becky in at 8, hurries to get her up, but Becky ROCKS her! Bianca ROCKS Becky back, keeps throwing hands, then RAMS Becky into the corner with her shoulder! Bianca fires off but the ref has her back down. Becky kicks Bianca back! Becky runs but Bianca blocks the kick and FLIPS Becky. Bianca scoops to GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Becky survives and Bianca grits her teeth. Bianca keeps her focus as she stalks Becky to ropes. Bianca brings Becky up, whips her to ropes, but Becky reverses. Bianca handsprings, pops Becky up, but Becky victory rolls it! TWO!!

Bianca gets around to chicken wing Becky! GlamEST SLAM! Bianca hurries to handspring and MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Becky survives and Bianca is feeling that frustration. Bianca drags Becky over to a drop zone and she goes up top! Fans fire up, but Becky ROCKS Bianca first! Becky climbs, fires forearms on Bianca, then sits Bianca up. Bianca fights back, fireman’s carries, and fans stand up for the CHICAGO SKYLINE! Or maybe in this case, Dallas Skyline! Bianca hurries back up top, fans fire up, EST 450!! Cover, TWO!?! Becky escapes and no one, least of all Bianca, can believe this!

Bianca works to stay cool because Becky is still down. Fans rally up, Bianca waits on Becky to get up at the apron. Bianca runs in to RAM Becky, then she has a headlock! Becky HOTSHOTS back! Becky dodges the shoulder to KICK and KICK! Bianca is down, Becky goes up and fans fire up! Becky with the MOLLY-GO-ROUND! Cover, TWO!! Bianca survives getting boots to the face! Becky looms over Bianca, she drags Bianca up, MAN- NO! No handling, Bianca shoves and ROCKS Becky! Bianca runs, but into a forearm from Becky! Becky runs, but into Bianca’s SPINEBUSTER! And then handspring MOONSAULT onto knees!

Becky hurries to get the arm, but Bianca uses that to roll Becky! TWO, Bianca wants chicken wings! Becky victory9 rolls, TWO! Bianca has it, TWO, and Bianca hits buckles! Becky hurries to JUMP KICK, but Bianca blocks! Bianca gets Becky to the torture rack! But Becky holds ropes for dear life! The ref reprimands and counts, so Bianca TOSSES Becky to the floor! Bianca then hurries to fetch Becky up and in! Becky hurries to scramble away to the far side! Bianca can’t stop her, Becky is safe on the outside again! But then Bianca grabs Becky by her hair, only for Becky to use Bianca’s hair to YANK her into post!

Bianca drapes then flops out of the ring, and Becky brings her up again. MANHANDLE SLAM onto steel steps! Becky leaves Bianca behind and at the mercy of the ring count! Bianca slumps off the steps at 5 of 10, is down at 7, and fans are thunderous! Bianca is up and in at 9.9!? Becky hurries to roll her, TWO!! Bianca is proving she is the toughEST, but now Becky is the angriEST as he hammers away on Bianca’s back! Becky drags Bianca back up, but she’s all but dead weight. Bianca hops out of the Manhandle Slam! And scoops Becky to a torture rack! K O D!!! Cover, Bianca wins!!!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall (NEW Raw Women’s Champion)

WrESTleMania lives again! She finally gets big time payback on Becky, will Bianca make this title run the greatEST yet?

 

Seth Rollins VS ???

The Visionary wanted to be part of WrestleMania because he claimed it couldn’t be the most STUPENDOUS one ever without him. He tried to take the Raw Tag Team Championships with Kevin Owens, and failed. He tried to take Kevin Owens’ idea to meet with Stone Cold, and failed. He even tried to steal the match with Edge from AJ Styles, and failed! But Vince McMahon decided to give Rollins his most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Moment yet, against an opponent of Vince McMahon’s choosing. So who did the WWE Chairman find?

Rollins has a Dallas a cappella choir sing his theme for him before he swaggers his way out in a big blue robe. The fans start to sing along, but now it’s the moment of truth. Seth Rollins’ WrestleMania opponent is… Is it anyone? There’s no music yet. Rollins gets impatient and throws his robe away. WHOA the pyro! All the way up the ramp and to the stage, and then the lights change. They start to dim and go out… “Wrestling has more than one… Royal family.” IT IS HIM! Rumors were all over the internet, but they’re now proven true! The AMERICAN NIGHTMARE has come to WrestleMania! Cody Rhodes has come BACK to the WWE!!

Cody rises up from below the stage as Dallas loses its mind! Cody gives his weight belt to a fan in the front row before he gets into the ring. The bell rings and the fans are still thunderous as these two stare down. The fans are chanting, “CODY! CODY!” as hard as they can as he and Rollins circle. They tie up, break, then Rollins grins. Rollins and Cody circle more, feel things out, and fans are just loving the moment still! Cody and Rollins tie up, are in a deadlock, but Cody headlocks. Rollins powers up and out, things speed up and Rollins hurdles. Cody slides under and arm-drags Rollins away! Then he cartwheels and does Stardust hands!

Fans are loving this even more as Cody and Rollins reset. They circle, feel out the grapple, knuckle lock, and Rollins gets a headlock now. Cody pulls tights a bit to bring Rollins around. Cody throws body shots and powers out, but Rollins hurdles, redirects and runs Cody over! Rollins grins, things speed up again but Cody side steps. Rollins blocks a hip toss, Cody blocks, Rollins tries a backslide but Cody blocks. Cody whips, kicks, and drops for the Rhodes Uppercut! Fans fire up as Rollins scrambles to a corner. Cody waits on Rollins and Rollins manages to laugh it off. Rollins gets up and says welcome back. Then he sucker punches Cody!

Cody forearms and haymakers back, but Rollins kicks low. Rollins tucks Cody and hooks arms, but Cody fights out! Cody gets around, dragon sleeper, but Rollins snapmares free! Cody avoids the stomp, kicks low, and he suplexes, but Rollins fights it! Rollins tries but Cody fights the suplex. They go back and forth with the suplex, Cody ends up suplexing himself and Rollins out of the ring! Fans fire up as both men slowly get up. Cody drags himself up with the announce desk, the ring count starts but Cody brings Rollins up. Rollins RAMS Cody into the apron! Rollins goes around the way, but Cody grabs an arm to YANK Rollins into post!

The count is 5 of 10, Rollins gets in and Cody follows. Cody throws body shots, wraps arms around Rollins’ arm, but the ref counts. Cody stops at 4, wrenches, wristlocks, then monkey flips Rollins! Cody keeps on the arm, Rollins fights up but Cody whips. Cody hits a hip toss then gets a short arm scissor! Rollins endures, fans rally, and Rollins rolls back to a cover, TWO! Cody goes for the arm again, but Rollins throws forearms. Rollins ROCKS Cody but then Cody gets around to waistlock. Rollins denies the O’Conner but Cody gets the legs, GUT KICK! Cody then yanks Rollins up but Rollins lands on his feet, PELE!

Both men are down but Rollins shakes out the bad arm. Cody gets the arm to WRING it out! Cody climbs up the corner now, Rollins stands, Cody leaps into a dropkick! Cody writhes, goes to ropes, but Rollins storms over. Rollins KNEES Cody low, whips him to ropes and knee shim low again! And then again the other way! Fireman’s carry, GUTBUSTER! Cover, ONE!! Cody is reminding Rollins of his toughness but Rollins again sarcastically says welcome back. “Welcome back to the big leagues, bitch!” Rollins CLUBS Cody, then has him on ropes. Rollins CLUBS Cody again, then puts him in a corner.

Rollins whips corner to corner, Cody staggers into a bearhug! Cody endures the squeeze, fans rally, and Cody fights to get the hold open! Cody CLUBS the arm! Rollins back elbows the ribs! Rollins CHOPS, sneers, then runs, but Cody follows and forearms! Rollins staggers, runs in but Cody goes up and over in the corner, POWERSLAM! Cody runs, and he clotheslines Rollins out of the ring! Fans fire up as Cody grits his teeth and builds speed, to DIVE! Direct hit and Rollins tumbles over the announce desk! Fans fire up and Cody drags Rollins up. Cody brings Rollins back, puts him in the ring, then goes up the corner!

MOONSAULT, onto a standing Rollins! Cover, TWO!! Both men are down, but Rollins crawls to the apron. Cody gets up and goes out the side. Cody runs in around the way, goes up the steps, but Rollins POWERBOMBS him! Then deadlifts to BARRIER BOMB Cody!! The ring count is climbing, Rollins drags Cody up and into the ring at 7 of 10. Rollins aims from the apron, springboards in, FLYING KNEE! Then a SUPERKICK, to a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO! Cody is still in this, but Rollins is too tired to be frustrated. Cody drags himself to the corner while Rollins stands back up.

Rollins says this is HIS moment! Rollins starts to swagger and he stomps the mat. Fans rally as Rollins tunes up and runs, but Cody dodges the stomp! Roll up, Rollins rolls through, but misses again! Cody dragon sleepers, Rollins victory rolls, TWO! Cody gets Rollins again, CROSS RHODES!! Cover, TWO!?! Rollins survives and Cody is beside himself! Cody climbs up fast, but Rollins trips him up! Cody lands hard on his ribs, Rollins climbs up behind him. Cody fights Rollins off with elbows, Collins tumbles down, and Cody adjusts. But Rollins is back up fast! Rollins reels Cody in, INVERTED SUPERPLEX! And roll through, to SAVING GRACE! Cover, TWO!?!

Rollins can’t believe it! Cody survives the inversion of Rollins’ favorite combo, but fans say, “This is Awesome!” Rollins grinds his forearms into Cody’s face but stops as the ref reprimands. Rollins again says this is his moment, and he goes back to a corner. Fans rally up for Cody as Rollins climbs up. PHOENIX SPLASH but he has to roll through! Cody runs in, into a kick! Rollins hooks the arms, Cody slips out! Cody hooks the arms!? But Rollins trips to jackknife, TWO! Rollins tries again, TWO! Cody rolls Rollins around and hooks the arms again! TIGER BOMB! Cody wants Rollins to get up, and he runs to the corner! Up, up, FLYING CUTTER!! Cover, TWO!?!?

No one can believe Rollins survived the #CodyCutter! Fans are thunderous as Cody drags Rollins back up. But Rollins kicks back, hooks the arms, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? HOW?!?! Rollins tells Cody this is HIS moment, and he ROCKS Cody with a right. Cody ROCKS Rollins back! Rollins staggers away, but he ROCKS Cody again! Cody ROCKS Rollins, and fires more shots! Rollins hits back, they go back and forth! Cody fires off, another Rhodes Uppercut! But Rollins mule kicks! Rollins shouts “MY COMPANY! MY INDUSTRY!” Rollins fires off Kowata Kicks, then one to the ribs! ROLLING ELBOW! And then turn, DREAM SMASHER!

Cody falls over and Rollins has a wild look on his face. Rollins runs, but Cody reels him in! CROSS RHODES!! And Cody holds on, for a third CROSS RHODES!! Wait, he still holds on! To then turn Rollins around, and JAB! JAB! JAB! Cody calls upon his father, Dusty, with the flip, flop and fly, BIONIC ELBOW! Fans are electric as Cody drag Rollins back up, another CROSS RHODES! Cover, Cody wins!!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

Rollins lives a WrestleMania Nightmare at the hands of the Son of the Son of a Plumber! Cody is back, will he become the elite of the WWE?

 

Please welcome the WWE Hall of Fame class for 2022!

Scott & Rick, the Steiner Brothers! The family of Warrior Award recipient, Shad Gaspard, Siliana and Aryeh! Queen Sharmell! The family of Vader, Debe and Jesse White! And of course, with the bell tolling and the lights going down, the flames and the lightning in the distance, and even a CG projection of himself, it’s Mark Calloway, THE UNDERTAKER!! Fans give them quite the ovation, especially The Deadman. Will this be the last time we see the Phenom on a WWE stage?

 

WWE has a medical update on Rick Boogs.

After collapsing from both Usos being on his back, it has been discovered that Boogs has a torn quadricep and patella that will require surgery. We’re sure the comeback will be even sweeter, here’s to a speedy recovery for Boogs.

 

This year’s attendance: 77,899!

 

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair VS Ronda Rousey!

The most decorated woman in WWE, and the most decorated woman in MMA. The Opportunity, and the Baddest Woman on the Planet. But only one can be THE most dominant woman. Will Charlotte stay a 13-time champion? Or will Ronda prove she is more than just an armbar?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see just who is really the baddest!

The two tie up at the bell, go around, and Charlotte has Ronda on ropes,. She lets off, but Ronda catches her arm! Charlotte elbows free in the corner but Ronda kicks and boots, then fires off fast hands! The ref has Ronda back off and Charlotte gets around to cheap shot! Charlotte CHOPS, waistlocks, and SLAMS Ronda down! Charlotte holds on, but Ronda gets up to facelock and throw Charlotte off. Body scissor catch but Charlotte gets away from the ankle lock! Ronda takes a moment to cool off and the two circle again. They tie up, Charlotte goes for a leg but Ronda throws her off! Charlotte get a leg, but gets caught to a TRIANGLE!

Charlotte scrambles, tries to get covers, ONE! Ronda holds on, Charlotte drags her up to KNEE low. Charlotte puts Ronda in the corner, whips Ronda corner to corner, but Ronda reverses. Charlotte goes up and over but Ronda ROCKS her! Ronda wants an arm but Charlotte HOTSHOTS then BOOTS! Charlotte goes up but Ronda KNEES her first! Ronda goes up, hooks Charlotte up, HANGING HEADSCISSORS! The ref counts, Ronda lets off at 4 to then bring Charlotte up. Charlotte Charlie Horses Ronda, then BACKBREAKER to APRON ELBOW DDT! Charlotte grins as Ronda is in the ring.

Ronda gets up, she blocks the boot! ANKLE LOCK in the ropes! But Charlotte rolls to throw Ronda to the floor! Charlotte catches her breath and lets the count climb. Ronda gets up at 5 of 10 but Charlotte is on her to POST her! The ring count resets but Charlotte puts Ronda in at 3. Cover, TWO! Charlotte cravats to grind Ronda with a neck wrench. Ronda endures, fights up, goes for a headlock counter but Charlotte keeps the cravat. Ronda throws body shots but Charlotte snapmares hard! Then DECKS Ronda with a forearm! Cover, TWO! Charlotte drags Ronda into a dragon sleeper!

Ronda endures and fights up as fans build to a rally. Ronda slips around, drop sayanagi! Then a KNEE! Cover, TWO!! Charlotte survives what could’ve been a knockout shot! Charlotte gets to a corner, Ronda runs in, BACKBREAKER to BUCKLE SHOT! Charlotte snarls and she stands Ronda up to hook the leg on ropes. Charlotte jumps but Ronda avoids the knee drop! Ronda is up, FLYING COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! Ronda is annoyed but she waistlocks to drag Charlotte up. Charlotte elbows out hard, but Ronda blocks the next shot for a rolling takedown! ROUNDHOUSE! Then a drop sayanagi!

Another sayanagi! Another sayanagi! Fans fire up with Ronda but Charlotte SPEARSE outta nowhere! Cover, TWO!! Charlotte can’t believe Ronda survives, but she pushes Ronda down. Charlotte runs in, NATURAL- NO! Ronda slips out, and she wants a straitjacket stretch! Charlotte gets around, to back suplex! Both women are down and fans rally up. Charlotte kips up and fans “WOO~” for her. Charlotte steps on Ronda to go to the corner. Charlotte climbs up, MOONSAULTS, but lands on her feet as Ronda moves, STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Charlotte drags Ronda up but Ronda knees low. Charlotte CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS!

Fans “WOO~” with the CHOPS, and Charlotte reels Ronda in. But Ronda SNAP POWERSLAMS! Cover, TWO! Ronda is showing off her new arsenal but she still hasn’t put this away. Ronda runs in, but Charlotte hip tosses her into a Tree of Woe! Charlotte stomps away on Ronda, then goes to the outside. Ronda sits up to meet Charlotte but Charlotte kicks her back into the Tree! Charlotte drags Ronda up for a HANGING BOSTON CRAB! Ronda endures, the ref counts, but Ronda sits up again! Ronda fires off forearms, but Charlotte ROCKS Ronda back! Ronda rolls off the corner, hurries back up, and she throws back elbows!

SUPER DROP SAYANAGI!! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives but Ronda shrugs that off. Rolling fireman’s carry, and PIPER’S PIT!! But Ronda won’t cover, she wants a souvenir! But Charlotte slips away to the ropes! The ref keeps Ronda back, but Ronda runs in to KNEE! But Charlotte BOOTS back! Both women are down again, catching their breath from this slug fest. Fans rally up, Charlotte gets a leg, and she steps through, but Ronda throws her down! Ronda gets up, and SNAP POWERSLAMS again! Cover, TWO! Ronda tires again, but Charlotte slips off the fireman’s carry to a sunset flip. But Ronda rolls through, ANKLE LOCK!!

Charlotte endures, reaches out, but Ronda drags her away! But Charlotte trips Ronda, to get the ANKLE LOCK! Ronda endures now, reaches out, but then rolls to drag Charlotte to a Triangle! Charlotte has the cover, TWO and Ronda sends Charlotte into the buckles! Ronda fires up and wants Charlotte to get back up. Ronda paces, keeps herself fired up, and she runs in to climb up Charlotte, but Charlotte turns it to a POWERBOMB! Charlotte crawls to Ronda, but she slips out of the armbar! But Ronda trips Charlotte for the ANKLE LOCK! Ronda drags Charlotte back and keeps her from ropes!

Charlotte endures, reaches around, but Ronda keeps her back again! GRAPEVINE!! Charlotte is stuck, she shouts in pain, and kicks Ronda! Ronda kicks back! They both boot each other while they’re down! Charlotte gets up, hobbles, steps through, but Ronda catches Charlotte’s arm! ARMBAR, but Charlotte slips through! FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! FIGURE EIGHT!! But Ronda endures, grabs a leg, and turns things over onto Charlotte!! Charlotte endures now, manages to use her height to turn this back over, and they end up in the ROPEBREAK! Ronda tumbles out of the ring and Charlotte is frustrated!

Charlotte fires herself up and fans rally back up. Charlotte wants the corner but Ronda grabs at her. Charlotte kicks her away but Ronda’s back after her! Another kick, then Charlotte grabs at the hair. Ronda TOSSES Charlotte to the floor! Ronda refreshes the ring count, stalks Charlotte, and runs in, but into a scoop! Charlotte FALL AWAY SLAMS Ronda into barriers! Both women are down and the ring count starts again. Ronda crawls and the count is 7 of 10! Then 8! Both women are in at 9! They glare at each other, fans fire back up and the two approach. Charlotte pie faces Ronda, but Ronda blocks the boot!

Fireman’s carry, PIPER’S PIT!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Ronda realizes her error, and she can’t believe it! Ronda argues the count, NATURAL SELECTION!! Cover, TWO!?! Ronda survives Charlotte’s best shot and Charlotte can’t believe it now! Charlotte is almost in tears from frustration but the fans are fired up! Charlotte pushes Ronda around, gets the legs, but Ronda kicks her into the ref! Charlotte realizes the mistake, but Ronda runs in, tilt-o-whirl ARMBAR!! Charlotte is tapping, but the ref can’t see it to count it! Ronda lets go and hurries to hep the ref up, but Charlotte BOOTS Ronda down!! Cover, Charlotte wins!!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by pinfall (still SmackDown Women’s Champion)

By the skin of her teeth, The Queen keeps her throne! Ronda can’t believe it, but will she have to fight her way back up to another chance at The Opportunity?

 

WrestleMania 39 is going to Hollywood!

The biggest event in entertainment, at SoFi Stadium, talk about a blockbuster in 2023!

 

It’s a WrestleMania edition of The KO Show!

Kevin Owens goes to the ring, ready to host this Texas sized episode of his talk show. Fans already chant for “Austin! Austin!” but Kevin gets the mic to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the WrestleMania main event edition of the Kevin! Owens! SHOW!” Now, as we all just saw in a recap package, Kevin has said rotten things about Texas and Stone Cold. One of those is that if North America were a human body, Texas would be the ass! “What?” The ass. “What?” C’mon, guys, that was clever. But he does realize that he went too far. He started thinking that maybe he should apologize. “What?”

Maybe he should apologize, so here we go. He sincerely apologizes to every Texan out there. Kevin is sorry. He is, he is sorry for telling the absolute God’s honest truth! He’s only been here a couple days and it is worse than he remembers. Now, Kevin feels like the fans are eagerly anticipating his guest. Fans cheer because yes they are. Well Kevin will bring his guest out when he wants to and he’s not done telling us how much Kevin despises this guy! This is the absolute worst role model in the history of the WWE! Kevin should know, he used to look up to him! Kevin will look this guy in the eye and tell him how much he sucks!

Kevin says that guy won’t do a damn thing, either! He’ll sit there and take it! Because this guy knows that if he doesn’t show Kevin the respect he deserves and commands, Kevin will hit a Stunner and pour out a beer on his stupid bald head. But the glass shatters, here comes STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! Fans go nuts seeing Austin as he walks around on stage. Kevin sits in his chair, not at all into the hype. Austin points at Kevin, then starts down the ramp. Austin takes a moment to soak it all in, then he goes back up the ramp? Austin goes backstage, and Kevin laughs, thinking he was right all along.

But nope! Austin returns on an ATV! Fans fire up as Austin drives on down to ringside! And then around ringside! Austin parks and gets in the ring, kicking one of Kevin’s posters aside to get up on the corner. Fans cheer seeing this again after so long. Austin gets the other KO poster out of the ring, so that he can complete the set of all four corners! Kevin says no no, no more music! Fans boo but Kevin says this ain’t Austin’s show, this is KO’s show! Kevin tells the fans not to encourage Austin on Kevin’s show. But fans are thunderous for “AUSTIN! AUSTIN!” Kevin tells Austin to take a seat, and fans boo.

Austin stares Kevin square in the face, and Kevin says let’s just all come down. Kevin wasn’t here to fight, just to chat. They both sit down, and Kevin welcomes Austin to the show and thanks him for accepting the invitation. Austin says Kevin wants to bring him out here just for a conversation? After all the trash about Stone Cold, with that stupid haircut, stupid beady eyes, and looking like a jackass. “What?” A jackass! Then Kevin runs down Texas, ya stupid son of a BITCH! Fans are thunderous for that one! Kevin says he isn’t sure what’s so great about Texas. Like, let’s think about it. In the summer, it is hotter than hell. It is flat and uninspiring.

And the people! The people wear stupid hats, stupid boots, stupid belt buckles, c’mon! Look out there and you can just tell who is Texan from how dumb they look! But it’s fine! Just take the hats off, the boots off, and move somewhere else! Kevin feels for Austin. If he grew up here, he would’ve moved to Mexico. It’s right there! Austin says in five seconds, 77 thousand plus are gonna be calling Kevin an “Asshole.” Oh, too late. Kevin doesn’t want them to be like this. Don’t be the stereotypical rude, crass Texans. Be a distinguished French Canadian like Kevin. Kevin will therefore move past these insults as the bigger man.

That’s because Kevin has a secret. Kevin invited Austin for a talk, but he lied. It was. Kevin doesn’t lie often but he does it for good reason. He didn’t really need Austin to come out here to get people talking about the KO Show. This was a trick. Kevin doesn’t wanna talk. Even though Kevin has a bad back right now, he wants to fight. Fans fire up for the fact Kevin wants a match! Kevin knows it has been 19 YEARS since Austin’s last match, his knees were shot, his back was shot, his neck was shot. They can’t be any better. But other than that, Austin’s fine, right? So he has no reason to back down.

In fact, this won’t be just any match! It’ll be No Holds Barred, right here and right now! Fans love the sound of that, too! Austin goes to get up but Kevin says Austin must be speechless. And he knows why. Kevin can see it in Austin’s eyes. Austin is looking at Kevin and thinking, “I can’t beat this guy.” Austin is thinking, he can’t beat the big, beautiful French Canadian bastard, Kevin Owens! And y’know what? That’s right. So why not just do a favor and stop embarrassing everyone. Get on your cart and get your ass back to your stupid ranch! Fans boo and Austin mulls that one over. Fans of course want “One More Match!” but what does Austin say?

Austin scowls at Kevin, and he hears the fans firing up louder for the chance at a match. Austin says, “I had my first match right here in Dallas, Texas. I could have my last match right here in Dallas, Texas. If you want Stone Cold Steve Austin to compete in a match tonight against this sack o’ sh*t, gimme a hell yeah.” “HELL YEAH!” Austin didn’t hear that. Give him a hell yeah. “HELL YEAH!” Then bring out a damn ref! Fans fire up, the mics are put aside, is this really happening?! A ref is here, the chairs are moved out of the ring, it’s happening!!

No Holds Barred: Kevin Owens VS Stone Cold Steve Austin!

The bell rings and fans are going nuts as these two stare down! Austin and Kevin step up to each other, talk a little bit of smack, then the hands start flying! They go back and forth, fans are loving this, and Austin gets the edge! Austin fires off in the corner, and he doesn’t have to let up! But here comes the mudhole! Fans count it out, Austin goes all the way PAST 10 to about 20! Austin gets Kevin up, whips him corner to corner, and Kevin tumbles up and drops to the mat! Austin gets himself some Steveweisers already!? He cracks them open, then stomps Kevin again! The fans count again, that’s another 10, then another 20!

Fans are thunderous as Austin drags Kevin back up. Austin whips Kevin up and out of the ring hard! Kevin almost lands on his posters! Austin gets more Steveweisers, chugs it down and stalks Kevin. Austin gets Kevin up and whips, but Kevin reverses and Austin hits barriers! But he comes back to LARIAT Kevin! Austin drags Kevin up, and he brings Kevin to the barriers for SNAKE EYES! The front row gets to see Austin digging into Kevin’s eyes! Austin brings Kevin around, fans chant “You Still Got It!” Austin fires hands on Kevin against barriers, but Kevin POSTS Austin! Kevin then hurries to get his poster stand as a weapon!

Kevin JABS Austin with the tripod then SLAMS it down on him! Kevin rains down fists, fans boo, but Kevin talks smack like Austin would. Kevin goes looking under the ring, he stomps Austin, then stands Austin up to ROCK him with a right. Kevin brings out a TABLE! Kevin puts that table against the barriers, then ROCKS Austin again. Austin staggers around the way, Kevin brings him back, whips, but Austin reverses! Kevin CRASHES through the table!! Austin drags Kevin up out of the wreckage, to TOSS him over the barriers! Now they go brawling through the crowd! Fans fire up getting closer to the action!

Kevin hits back, Austin ROCKS Kevin again, and they go further back. Austin ROCKS Kevin more, CHOPS him, then CHOPS again! Fans fire up and Austin brings Kevin back towards ringside. But first, he wants to suplex! Kevin blocks, and he suplexes Austin to the floor! Kevin roars and fans boo, but Austin is getting up. Kevin CLUBS Austin with crossface forearms and stomps. Kevin headlocks and punches but Austin hits back! They’re brawling fast and furious again and fans are loving this! Kevin KNEES Austin low then stomps him down! Kevin brings Austin back to ringside and tosses him over the barriers.

Kevin climbs up the barrier, but Austin TOSSES him onto the desk! The desk doesn’t break but Austin gets himself more Steveweisers. Austin cracks those open, and climbs up onto the desk to join Kevin. Fans fire up as Austin chugs! He tosses those away, then rains down fists on Kevin! Fans count and Austin goes all the way to 10! Then double dirty bird and fists for good measure! A few more beers, and Austin SPITS some on Kevin! Austin puts Kevin in the ring, and now Kevin wants mercy! Austin drags Kevin up on the apron, Kevin HOTSHOTS Austin down! Kevin shakes out the cobwebs and looks around.

Kevin sees Austin’s ATV, and he gets on! Kevin isn’t sure how to start it up, but Austin goes after him! Austin gets on with Kevin, and they’re gonna go for a ride! Up the ramp they go! Austin drags Kevin off to ROCK him with rights! Kevin staggers and they go towards the left edge! Austin knees low, then suplexes Kevin onto the stage! Austin kicks Kevin around, SMACKS him off the ATV, and then they go to the right side! Kevin throws body shots! Austin pokes Kevin in the eyes! Austin gives Kevin a suplex to this part of the stage! Kevin writhes but Austin still keeps on him and fans still rally behind him.

Austin soaks it all in as he drags Kevin back up. Austin brings Kevin back around, throws more hands, and they go back down the ramp. Austin BOWLS Kevin down the ramp! Austin DECKS Kevin and keeps him rolling! And then stomps him down! Austin ROCKS Kevin, puts him in the ring, and fans are still loving this as Austin gets himself more Steveweisers. Austin gets back in the ring, he cracks these two open, takes a long chug of one, then the other. Austin gets Kevin up, KEVIN STUNNERS AUSTIN!?! Cover, TWO!! Austin survives and Kevin is furious! Kevin scowls, goes out of the ring, and he grabs a chair!

Kevin brings that chair back to the ring, aims at Austin, but Austin dodges! Chair hits rope, then chair hits Kevin! Kevin staggers about, STUNNER from Austin!! Cover, Austin wins!

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin, by pinfall

After 19 years away, the Texas Rattlesnake is victorious once more! And now he has Steveweisers to celebrate! All of Dallas celebrates with him, and Austin is just chucking empty cans wherever! Austin even gives some to the VIP section! Kevin manages to get up, Austin gives him a STUNNER! Kevin needs help getting out of the ring, Austin waves him good-bye. Austin cracks open more Steveweisers, then gets the mic. “It’s good to be back here in Dallas, Texas, and that’s the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so!” Austin even cheers with the referee who called the match!

Byron Saxton is invited into the ring, too, and Austin shares the beer with him. They drink up, and STUNNER for Saxton!! #DTA, Don’t Trust Anybody! Was this perhaps the most STUPENDOUS #OneLastMatch in WWE history?


My Thoughts:

I don’t know about “most stupendous” but this was a pretty good start to the WrestleMania weekend. Unfortunately, and without any real explanation, they had to cancel New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge. They probably meant for it to be in the kickoff show since that had nothing match wise, but who knows. If it was a time constraint thing, then maybe they shouldn’t have a thousand recap vignettes when that is exactly what kickoff shows and even go-home episodes the week prior are for. But there’s still a chance to have the match for tomorrow’s kickoff, or even in the post-Mania episode of SmackDown.

Another unfortunate thing was the legitimate injury to Boogs during the SmackDown Tag Team Championship match. Quadricep and patella, surgery, poor Boogs is going to be out for months. And if not for that injury, I feel like Boogs & Nakamura could’ve taken those titles tonight. But the Usos retain and they’ll surely have a new feud lined up for “WrestleMania Backlash” and beyond. McIntyre VS Corbin went as expected, right down to McIntyre defying go-home math and winning. The biggest surprise was him slashing the ropes apart. I hope this is the last of McIntyre feuding with Corbin, McIntyre needs to be going for gold.

Mysterios VS Miz & Logan was good stuff. Logan proved he can hang in the ring, and is essentially where Dom is right now. Dom should definitely spend a stretch in NXT. Maybe hit the gym, too, so he isn’t such a string bean. But anyway, Miz turning on Logan was a Face turn to the fans but probably making Logan the Face in the eyes of WWE. Personally, hoping for the former but either way, we’ll get Miz VS Logan for WM Backlash. Great moment with the Hall of Famers and their families, especially with Taker getting all the special effects. Taker said “never say never” to end his speech, so who knows, maybe he has #OneLastMatch in him, too.

Great stuff out of both women’s title matches, but I would’ve swapped their order. Charlotte VS Ronda was good, especially with Ronda busting out new stuff, but if Charlotte was going to use a ref bump to win, that should’ve been earlier so fans could shake it off with the following matches. The Raw Women’s Championship was great stuff, and a great moment for Bianca to win. Two WrestleManias, two title matches, two wins, Bianca is definitely a star in the WWE’s eyes, and a lot of fans are still behind her. Bianca can definitely carry this belt against any number of the contenders on Raw. Which makes me wonder what the hell they’re doing with Alexa Bliss.

The rumors were true, Cody is back in WWE! And on top of that, he was Rollins’ opponent! And what a match for his return! You would’ve thought he’d been in WWE this whole time, they were doing so many great spots and false finishes! And as such, Cody wins to make his big return even greater. Rollins will surely be angry on Raw this Monday, he and Cody can extend this into a feud for WM Backlash, there’s all sorts of possibilities. And of course, how awesome that Kevin didn’t leave it to just the talk show and a brawl but gave us a NO HOLDS BARRED that went all over the place! Naturally Austin wins, but he didn’t look half bad for being out of it for 19 years. I’m sure this really is Austin’s #OneLastMatch, but what a great moment for Austin and all of us.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (7/26/24)

SmackDown throws down the gauntlet!

Published

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Who will make it to the end?

While SummerSlam is on the horizon, SmackDown prepares NEW #1 contenders to the WWE Tag Team Championships, through a gauntlet match!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Gauntlet: ??? wins and will challenge DIY for the titles.
  • Bayley & Mia Yim VS Nia Jax & Tiffany Stratton; win.
  • LA Knight VS Santos Escobar; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to the scheduling choices of KFOX14 (El Paso & Las Cruces), coverage of SmackDown will not begin until 9PM Eastern]


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

Published

on

The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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