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Mitchell’s NJPW Battle Autumn Results & Report! (11/5/22)

Battle Autumn’s series finale!

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NJPW Battle Autumn

Who moves on to WrestleKingdom?

NJPW Battle Autumn wraps up with gold! Los Ingobernables de Japon and The United Empire fight over the Junior Heavyweight AND US Championships! Plus, the NJPW World Television Championship Tournament Semifinals wills end two to WK17 to fight for the gold! Will NJPW soon be completamente tranquilo?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: TJP & Francesco Akira VS BUSHI & Titán; TJP & Akira win and retain the titles.
  • 8 Man Tag: Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano, David Finlay & Alex Zayne VS The United Empire; The United Empire wins.
  • Hikuleo VS Yujiro Takahashi; Hikuleo wins.
  • NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Semifinal: Ren Narita VS SANADA; Narita wins and advances to WrestleKingdom 17.
  • NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Semifinal: EVIL VS Zack Sabre Jr; ZSJ wins and advances to WrestleKingdom 17.
  • Hiromu Takahashi & Taiji Ishimori VS Master Wato & El Desperado; Wato & Desperado win.
  • Kazuchika Okada & Tama Tonga VS Jay White & KENTA; Okada & Tama win.
  • IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: FTR VS Great-O-Khan & Jeff Cobb; FTR wins and retains the titles.
  • IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship: Will Ospreay VS Tetsuya Naito; Ospreay wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: TJP & Francesco Akira VS BUSHI & Titán!

The United Empire lost the majority of the tune-ups to Los Ingobernables de Japon, but now it comes down to the match that matters! Can the Public Enemy & Nova Fireball conquer LIJ to open the night? Or will Black Mask & The #INMORTAL bring home the gold?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see just who conquers who!

The teams sort out, but then LIJ DOUBLE DROPKICK TJP & Akira! Fans fire up, the bell rings to get this on record as Bushi y Titan DOUBLE DIVE! The topes send TJP & Akira into railing and fans fire up again! Titan puts TJP in, stomps him, then Titan and Bushi double whip corner to corner. Bushi runs in to back elbow, then he sets up as a step stool. Titan runs and uses Bushi, but TJP dodges! Titan hits buckles, TJP holds Bushi down and Akira uses Bushi for FIREBALL IN MOTION! TJP then throws Bushi out and he gives Akira a boost to SHOTGUN Titan out! TJP slingshot dropkicks Bushi down!

Akira builds speed and TJP holds the ropes, Akira FLIES out to wipe out LIJ! Milano Collection AT lets out a very clear “OH SH*T!” on commentary! Fans are fired up as TJP and Akira put Bushi in the ring. TJP keeps Bushi down, Akira runs and TJP gives him a boost in an Electric Chair! Akira tells fans to take pictures now, and then he hits an ELEVATED SENTON! Cover, TWO! TJP DECKS Titan, he and Akira double whip Bushi, FLAPJACK FACEBUSTER! Cover off the Alley Oop, but Titan breaks it! Akira stomps Titan, he and TJP double whip him now, the mule kick, kick and KICK, basement SHOTGUN!

Akira goes out after Titan to keep him down, and TJP takes off his shirt to CHOKE Bushi with it! The ref counts, TJP lets off at 4, and Akira sends Titan into railing. TJP pulls Bushi’s shirt off and CHOKES him with it! The ref reprimands and counts, TJP stops at 4, and then TJP drags Bushi up. TJP taunts Titan, bumps Bushi off buckles and stomps him in the Empire’s corner. Fans rally as TJP scrapes Bushi’s face again and again. TJP runs side to side, but Bushi dropkicks the legs out! Fans fire up while both men are down! Bushi crawls, but Akira trips Titan off the apron! TJP drops knees on Bushi’s back and Akira slides in.

The Empire stalks Bushi to ropes as fans rally. TJP & Akira double whip, but Bushi ducks the double lariats to send TJP into Akira! Bushi then DOUBLE RANAS! Fans fire up as those three are down and Titan is up! Bushi crawls over, hot tag to Titan! Fans fire up as Titan rallies on the Empire! Knuckle lock and CHOP for TJP, then Titan goes up and up and jumps around to then springboard MISSILE DROPKICK Akira! Titan dodges TJP, but TJP puts him on the apron. TJP runs but into a body scissor throw! Titan then resets, to TOP ROPE QUEBRADA! Direct hit on both TJP and Akira and fans fire up! Titan puts TJP in, covers, TWO!

Titan keeps cool and waits on TJP to stand. Titan KICKS, KICKS, SOBATS and runs, but into a ROUNDHOUSE! TJP runs, but Titan follows to TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as TJP is still in this. Titan pounds the mat, fans clap along, and Titan drags TJP up. Titan reels TJP in, Canadian Racks, and spins around, but TJP fights free! Tag to Akira, TJP holds Titan for the SUPERKICK! The Empire double whip Titan but he crisscrosses them. They kick, run, but Titan dodges to then DOUBLE SHOTGUN! Fans fire up as Titan rolls away, hot tag to Bushi! Bushi stomps Akira down then brings him up.

Akira rakes Bushi’s eyes! The ref reprimands, Akira puts Bushi in a corner and whips corner to corner. Akira runs corner to corner, but Bushi SWING KICKS him away! Bushi goes up to MISSILE DROPKICK! And BUSHIROONI! Fans fire up and Bushi stomps Akira around more. Bushi drags Akira up, FISHERMAN SCREW! Cover, TWO! Bushi calls Titan in and they double whip Akira corner to corner. Titan whips Bushi for Bushi to whip Titan and repeat, Bushi staggers but he still forearms Akira in the corner! Bushi sets up again, TITAN IN MOTION! Then a feed to Bushi’s lift, Titan goes up, DROPKICK SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TJP breaks it!

Titan stomps TJP to a corner and he coordinates with Bushi. They double whip TJP corner to corner, then Bushi whips Titan in. TJP dodges Titan to SHOTGUN Bushi! SUPERKICK from Titan! SUPERKICK from Akira! Bushi monkey flips Akira but he lands on his feet! Bushi ducks Akira’s Superkick! Akira blocks Bushi’s kick, but he gets grazed by the enziguri and the HEEL KICK hits clean! Fans fire up as all four men are down! Fans rally, Bushi and Akira stir while TJP and Titan exit. Bushi and Akira head for each other, and Bushi throws a forearm. Akira throws it back. Bushi throws another forearm, and Akira staggers.

Akira throws a forearm again! Bushi throws it back! Akira throws forearm after forearm, then DOUBLE CHOPS! Bushi stays up, Akira eggs him on, and Bushi DOUBLE CHOSP back! Bushi fires off forearms, runs, but Akira follows to wheelbarrow and victory roll, STOMP 182! Fans rally with “A! KI-RA!” TJP joins in, he and Akira gets Bushi up in Electric Chair. Akira climbs the corner, but Titan GAMANGIRIS! Bushi slips off to BACKSTABBER TJP! Titan goes up, APRON DOUBLE STOMP for Akira! Bushi aims at Akira, sunset flip, then SPRINGBOARD SPLASH from Titan! Bushi covers, TWO!! Akira survives and fans fire up!

Bushi and Titan coordinate and they wait on Akira to stand. Akira is in the corner, Titan runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Bushi hits a CODE BREAKER! Titan hurries up, but TJP trips him! TJP dodges Bushi, waistlocks, but Bushi switches. TJP ducks and the SUPERKICK hits Bushi! Akira reels Bushi in, SPEED FIRES! TJP drags Bushi up, the Empire coordinates, they run, 2 BY 2!! Cover, but Titan breaks it!! TJP hurries after Titan but Titan whips TJP. Titan goes Matrix but TJP catches him! Akira goes up, DOUBLE STOMP FINAL CUT! The Empire hurry to get Bushi up, and they hit the LEANING TOWER!! Cover, The Empire wins!

Winners: TJP & Francesco Akira, by pinfall (still IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions)

All those losses in Battle Autumn mean nothing now, because the Empire won out in the end! But will the combination of Bushi y Titan be back with Super Junior Tag League right around the corner? Or will the Empire be on to a new challenge?

 

NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Semifinal: Ren Narita VS SANADA!

The Son of Strong Style declares a changing of the guard, but he has to make it happen with his own two hands! Will he be able to do so in 15 minutes or less? Or will his quest hit a Skull End?

The bell rings and the countdown begins. Fans rally up as Sanada and Narita circle. They approach, feel things out, and Narita shoots in. Sanada holds him off, Narita shifts to go for an arm but Sanada goes for an arm, too. Narita facelocks, he brings Sanada down and then slips around to a back mount. Sanada moves around and gets around to waistlock. Narita and Sanada continue to go for arms and switch around with waistlocks. Narita goes for a leg but Sanada facelocks to block. Narita slips out to get a facelock back, and fans applaud this great technical exchange. Sanada fights up to fireman’s carry takeover, but Narita uses a leg guard to stop the lateral press.

Sanada and Narita sit up, Narita has a leg in between them as Sanada knuckle locks. Narita wants a headscissor but Sanada fights through to a cover, ONE. They stand and clinch, Narita pushes Sanada back to ropes, and fans applaud the ropebreak. Sanada turns things around, the ref calls for the break, and Sanada lets off to pat Narita on the shoulders. Fans applaud, Narita steps to Sanada and swings! But into a dragon sleeper! Narita scrambles to get the ROPEBREAK! Sanada lets off slowly and fans applaud again. Narita runs in but Sanada trips him up to put him right in Paradise! Fans fire up as Sanada stands on Narita!

Sanada encourages the fans to get louder and they oblige. Sanada likes the volume, and he runs to dropkick Narita out of Paradise! But Narita comes right back to knee low! Narita snapmares and KICKS Sanada! Narita then throws Sanada out of the ring, goes out after him, and whips. Sanada reverses and Narita hits railing! Narita comes back, but into a BOOT! Sanada puts Narita on railing, MAGIC SCREW to the floor! Fans fire up and Sanada stands Narita up. Sanada headlocks and he brings Narita along to the outside to No Man’s Land. PILEDRVER to the floor! Narita writhes and fans fire up as Sanada shows some edge.

Sanada leaves Narita behind, and fans rally up with their claps, “SA-NA-DA!” “NA-RI-TA!” The ring count starts and climbs to 5 of 20, then 10 of 20. Narita returns to ringside at 13, staggers over and in at 15. Sanada stomps away at the ropes! We’re at five minutes and Sanada ties Narita up in the ropes! ROPE PARADISE! Fans applaud and Sanada offers them to take pictures. Sanada leaves Narita behind as the fans rally up. Narita tries to get free on his own but Sanada dropkicks him out of Paradise again! Narita falls to the floor, and then Sanada PLANCHAS! Direct hit and down goes Narita! Fans fire up and Sanada puts Narita back in. Cover, TWO!

Sanada keeps cool and he brings Narita up into a chinlock. Narita endures, fights up, and throws elbows. Narita is free and he throws forearms! Sanada EuroUppers Narita in return! Sanada whips Narita corner to corner, Narita reverses but runs into a BOOT! Sanada runs, into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Narita roars and he stands back up. Sanada sits up and Narita KICKS! Narita whips Sanada to a corner, runs in, and back elbows! Then HALF HATCH! Bridging cover, TWO! TO AN ARMBAR! Sanada clasps hands but Narita pulls them apart! Sanada kicks and flails to the ROPEBREAK! Narita lets off as the ref counts and fans fire up.

Narita drags Sanada up to KICK again! And again! Sanada blocks the next one to CLUB the leg! Sanada swings, into a SLEEPER! Narita then shifts to a cobra twist! Sanada fights that to hip toss free! Fans rally, Sanada dragon sleepers but Narita snapmares free, only for Sanada to handspring through! Sanada DROPKICKS Narita back! Sanada reels Narita in to back suplex, but Narita lands on his feet! COBRA TWIST! Sanada endures as Narita puts on the pressure! Sanada steps towards ropes, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Narita lets off to KICK him! Then hit a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO!

Narita is frustrated but the fans rally up. Narita tells Sanada to get up! Sanada stirs, Narita sits him up, and KICKS as we hit 10 minutes! And KICKS! And KICKS again! Narita KICKS Sanada to a corner then stomps a mudhole! Narita digs his boots in but the ref reprimands and counts. Narita lets off to go corner to corner. Sanada ROCKS Narita, then QUEBRADAS to get the dragon sleeper! Sanada drops back but Narita rolls through to get a SLEEPER! Sanada arm-drags free! Sanada fireman’s carries, but Narita fights that into an IRON OCTOPUS! Sanada endures, fights up to the fireman’s carry, and throws Narita into the dragon sleeper!

Narita slips free but Sanada waistlocks and uses ropes to O’Conner DRAGON SLEEPER! Narita endures, Sanada drops back, SKULL END! Narita endures again as Sanada puts on the squeeze! Fans rally but Narita is fading! The ref checks, but then Sanada lets off to go to the corner! Sanada goes up top, ROUNDING BODY PRESS onto knees! Narita O’Conner Rolls and bridges! TWO!! Narita drags Sanada up, Sanada throws a forearm but Narita gives it back! They go back and forth, fans rally, and Narita gets the edge! ENZIGURI! BOOT! Sanada rebounds into a clinch, but he fights the lift! Narita HEADBUTTS away on Sanada!

Sanada HEADBUTTS and Narita wobbles! Fans fire up and Sanada whips corner to corner, but Narita reverses. Sanada goes up and out and springboard MISSILE DROPKICKS! Two minute warning as Narita stands up and roars! Narita rushes in, but Sanada gets around to O’Conner BR- NO, Narita blocks the bridge to get a SLEEPER! Sanada rolls back to DRAGON SLEEPER! Narita drops to victory roll! TWO!! SLEEPER!! Sanada endures, fans rally up, and Sanada fights up! Sanada throws elbows, gets free, and both men catch their breath. Fans rally again as we hit ONE minute! Sanada swings into an EXPLODER! Bridging cover, TWO!!!

Narita is furious, but he turns around into a EuroUpper! Sanada spins into a SLAP! And an ENZIGURI! But Sanada ENZIGURIS back! Sanada ROLLING ELBOWS! Fans fire up with Sanada, ROLLING- NARITA SPECIAL!! NARITA WINS!!!

Winner: Ren Narita, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

With just THIRTY SECONDS to spare, the Son of Strong Style snatches victory away from the Cold Skull! Is the changing of the guard going to become a reality?

 

NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Semifinal: EVIL w/ Dick Togo VS Zack Sabre Jr!

The King of Darkness continues to stack the deck, but the Submission Master has an arsenal to unload! Will Darkness Fall on WrestleKingdom? Or will Evil #JustTapOut this close to the finals?

Evil and Dick drag one of the Young Lions out in a ZSJ jacket! They’re making an example of Kosei Fujita! But wait, is that really ZSJ wearing that hat? Dick goes to check, but surprise! It’s Ryohei Oiwa! Dick DECKS him for tricking them! But THE ZSJ sneaks up behind Evil! SLEEPER! The ref rings the bell, ZSJ rolls Evil up, TWO!! ZSJ HEADBUTTS Evil, headlocks, but Evil powers out. Evil dodges the boot, ZSJ dodges the lariat, but Dick trips ZSJ while Evil is in the ref’s face! ZSJ bails out, Evil goes out after him, and Evil whips ZSJ into railing! Evil scoops Kosei Fujita and SLAMS him on ZSJ!

Evil then attacks Oiwa with a knee! Evil scoops him to SLAM him on ZSJ! Evil stomps the hat, too. Evil then takes off his shirt to CHOKE ZSJ! The ref reprimands, fans rally for “Z S J!” but Evil lets off. Evil brings ZSJ around, knees him low, then brings out some chairs! The ref reprimands but Evil still puts one chair around ZSJ’s head. Evil has the ref check the Young Lions, but then ZSJ BOOTS Evil! ZSJ kicks Dick, BOOTS Evil again, then BOOTS Dick. ZSJ gets the chair, throws it away, and he headlocks Evil. ZSJ brings Evil around to the timekeeper’s area and makes Evil take a seat by pulling on his ears!

ZSJ then fetches Dick and brings him around. ZSJ RAMS Dick into the timekeeper’s table! Fans are thunderous as Evil gets a taste of his own medicine! ZSJ throws the chair off himself and fetches Evil. Abe-san cleans up his table but Evil rakes ZSJ’s eyes! Evil whips Oiwa at ZSJ but ZSJ pushes him aside. But Evil RAMS Fujita into ZSJ! Then Evil rakes Oiwa’s eyes just because! Evil steps through on ZSJ, but ZSJ trips Evil up! Instead of a Scorpion Deathlock, ZSJ has a HEEL HOOK with a grapevine! Evil endures, the ring count climbs, Evil goes after ZSJ’s feet but ZSJ twists Evil’s leg more! The ring count is at 7 of 20!

Evil endures, ZSJ lets go at 10 of 20 and hurries into the ring! Evil hurries, but who is that under the ring grabbing at Evil? Evil looks under, and it’s Dick! Dick didn’t know who he was grabbing! Evil gets in at 18! ZSJ PENALTY KICKS! Cover, TWO!! Evil is still in this but ZSJ scoops! Evil slips free, spins ZSJ around, EVERY- NO, ZSJ slips out of the STO to go around and bait Evil with a leg. Evil falls for it and ZSJ flips Evil over, EURO CLUTCH! TWO!?! Evil escapes and even he’s surprised! ZSJ kicks but Evil blocks! Evil gives the foot to the ref, but ZSJ blocks Evil’s kick to have an ANKLE LOCK! Evil endures as ZSJ leans on the hold!

Evil moves around, and he sends ZSJ at the corner! ZSJ stops himself, avoiding the bare buckles! Guess how that happened. Evil runs in, ZSJ dodges, and Evil has to stop from hitting bare buckles! ZSJ gets a SLEEPER! Dick gets on the apron but the Young Lions drag him down! Dick fights them off, but they YANK him down! But Evil MULE KICK LOW BLOWS! Cradle, TWO!!! ZSJ survives but Evil hurries to drag him up! EVERY- NO, ZSJ slips out, GROUND COBRA!! ZSJ WINS!!!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

We didn’t even need the five minute call, ZSJ did that in 4 minutes, 48 seconds! The Submission Master is moving on to the finals, will he get that first singles title in NJPW at WrestleKingdom?

 

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: FTR VS Great-O-Khan & Jeff Cobb w/ Gideon Grey!

Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood are still the THREE BELT CHAMPIONS, even after facing Aussie Open. But now The United Empire’s big guns are here! Will the Dominator & Imperial Unit take these titles? Or will #7StarFTR still shine through?

Gideon Grey gives the United Empire their introduction, and then FTR make their entrance. The IWGP belts are raised, and we see how hard these teams will fight to have them!

The teams sort out, FTR hugs and Cash starts. The Empire forearm bump and Cobb starts. Fans rally as the bell rings and the two circle. Cobb says FTR isn’t going to walk into the Empire’s house and get away with it. Cobb and Cash tie up, Cash tries to push Cobb but Cobb stays put. Cobb pushes Cash away, and Cash shrugs that off. They tie up again, Cash tries to push Cobb but Cobb pushes Cash away again. Fans applaud, Cash and Cobb circle, and Cash goes for a leg. Cobb stays back, they tie up again, and Cash gets a headlock. Cobb powers up but Cash thrashes the hold. Cobb powers out and they RAM shoulders! Fans applaud as neither falls.

Cash runs, gets around and waistlocks. Cash lifts Cobb! But Cobb arm-drags free! Cobb rushes in, waistlocks and SLAMS Cash, then facelocks. Fans rally as Cash slips through to headlock back. Cobb powers out, scoops but Cash slips free to RANA! Fans applaud but Cobb is annoyed. Cash throws up the V for victory, and he tags in Dax. Cobb tags Khan and fans applaud. Khan and Dax stare down, tie up, and Khan pushes Dax to the ropes. Red Shoes calls the ropebreak and Khan lets off with a hard pat on the shoulder. Fans applaud and Dax dusts himself off. Dax and Khan tie up again, and Khan again pushes Dax back.

Dax turns things around and now he has Khan on the ropes. Khan turns things back around but Dax then puts Khan in a corner. Red Shoes calls the break, Dax lets off slowly, and he sharply pats Khan on the shoulders. Khan storms up, headlocks, but Dax powers out. Khan runs Dax over but Dax is right up. Khan headlocks again, Dax powers out again, but Khan runs him over again. Dax stands right up and he headlocks Khan. Khan powers out, they RAM shoulders, and Khan stares Dax down! Khan UPPERCUTS, but Dax kicks low and suplexes! Khan stands right up, so Dax throws a forearm! Khan throws it back!

Fans rally as the forearms go back and forth! Khan UPPERCUTS then MONGOLIAN CHOPS! And MONGOLIAN CHOPS! And then MONGOLIAN CHOPS Dax off his feet! Fans fire up and Khan stalks Dax to a neutral corner. Khan whips corner to corner, runs in, but Dax elbows him! Dax CHOPS, and CHOPS, and then snap suplexes! Dax drops a leg, then tags in Cash. Cash gets a boost for the BIG LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Cash drags Khan up, EuroUppers, and Khan falls over. Cash pulls Khan up, tags Dax, and they whip Khan to drop toehold and elbow drop! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Khan stays in this, and Dax keeps Khan down with his ponytail!

Dax brings Khan around, but Khan throws a body shot! Khan shifts around to use his ponytail to CHOKE Dax! Cash protests but Khan lets off to CLUB away on Dax’s arm. Khan throws Dax out, then he swipes at Cash! Cobb POSTS Dax! Cobb puts Dax in for Khan to CLUB away on the arm again! Khan throws down elbows until Dax is on the mat! Khan then goes for a double wristlock! Dax endures, moves around, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes calls it and Khan lets off. Khan puts Dax in the corner and Cobb holds Dax in place for Khan to sit on him! Fans applaud and Khan pulls back on Dax’s arms! Red Shoes counts and Khan hops down.

Tag to Cobb but Dax CHOPS! Cobb CHOPS and CLUBS Dax, then RAMS him in the open corner. Cobb hoists Dax up to RAM him in again! Fans applaud as Cobb drags Dax up on the apron. Cobb wraps the bad arm around ropes, but Red Shoes counts and Cobb lets off. Khan CLUBS Dax but Dax CHOPS Khan! Khan RAMS Dax into railing then puts Dax back in. Cobb covers, ONE!! Cobb is annoyed, but he drags Dax up. Tag to Khan, Khan DECKS Cash! Khan then storms back over, he wrenches Dax’s bad arm, but Dax SLAPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Khan ROCKS Dax! Khan CLUBS Dax, tags Cobb, and Cobb scoops Dax for a BACKBREAKER!

Cobb stands on Dax’s back, but no surfing this time. Cobb shifts to get the bad arm, but Cash reaches out. Fans rally, Dax stands, and Dax throws haymakers! Dax reaches for Cash but Cobb keeps him away. Dax throws more hands, Cobb shoves him away, but Dax runs in to sunset flip! Cobb stays up, drags Dax up, but Dax gets a leg! DRAGON SCREW! Fans fire up as Dax and Cobb hobble up. Cobb catches Dax again! Dax reaches but Cobb throws him away. Cobb DECKS Cash, but Dax dropkicks the leg out! Both men are down and fans fire up, but Cash is still down, too! Cobb runs in to UPPERCUT Dax!

Cobb hauls Dax up, RUNNING BACK SUPLEX! Cobb then tags Khan and Khan stomps Dax. Fans rally, Khan CLUBS Dax, and then Khan wrenches to a wristlock. Dax endures, Khan twists the wrist, but fans rally more. Dax fights up, throws body shots, and he gets free. Dax swings but Khan ducks. Khan swings but Dax ducks. Dax feints and gets Khan with a DDT! Fans fire up while both men are down! Khan and Dax crawl, Cobb tags in! Cobb brings Dax up to whip him away, but Dax dodges in the corner, hot tag to Cash! Cash fires off haymakers, and a CHOP! Haymaker, CHOP, repeat! Cobb swings but into a waistlock!

Cash lifts but Cobb elbows free. Khan full nelsons but Cash BOOTS Cobb away! Cash breaks free, whips Khan but Khan reverses, only for Cash to duck ‘n’ dodge and LARIAT! Fans fire up as Cash spins Cobb around to UPPERCUT! And GERMAN SUPLEX!! Fans fire up and Cash goes up the corner. Cash leaps to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Cobb flounders and Cash rallies the fans. Cash runs in at Cobb in the corner, but Cobb puts him on the apron. Cobb ROCKS Cash, and suplexes, but Cash blocks to HOTSHOT! Cash goes up, Khan is there with the IRON CLAW! Cash breaks free and brawls with Khan on the edge!

Cash’s UPPERCUT knocks Khan down, but Cobb ROCKS Cash. Cobb climbs, and he deadlift SUPERPLEXES Cash, but Cash slips out!! Cash tags Dax and Electric Chairs Cobb! FLYING BULLDOG!! Cover, Khan breaks it! The Steiner shoutout doesn’t finish it, and Khan clinches Cash for an EXPLODER! Fans fire up as Khan helps Cobb over to their corner. Khan tags in and Dax stares him down. Fans rally up, Dax ROCKS Khan! Khan ROCKS Dax! Dax ROCKS Khan! Repeat! Fans fire up as the forearms go faster and faster! Khan gets the edge, then whips Dax, only for Dax to  reverse, wrench and short arm LARIAT! But Khan stays up!

Dax LARIATS, but Khan is still up! Khan then shoots around to LARIAT! Dax stays up! Khan LARIATS, Dax still stays up! DOUBLE LARIATS collide but both men stay up! DOUBLE LARIATS collide again, and again! Dax staggers back but Khan stays up and fans fire up! But both men roar as they storm up again! Khan SWATS the clothesline, ELBOWS Dax, then runs, and LARIATS! But Dax still stays up! Fans fire up but Khan can’t believe it! Dax swings, but into an STO! Khan has a head ‘n’ arm triangle for a cover, but Cash stomps it apart! Cobb runs in but Cash dumps him out, to then PLANCHA! But Cobb catches Cash!

Cobb hauls Cash around to TOSS him to railing! Cobb then runs in, but Cash sends him tumbling over the railing! Cash gets to the apron but Khan DECKS him! Dax waistlocks but Khan fights free. Khan swings, but Dax dodges to ROCK him with a right! OLYMPIC SLAM! But Khan is right up! Dax BOOTS Khan, Khan LARIATS Dax! Khan hauls Dax up to suplex, but Dax slips out and suplexes in return. Dax puts Khan up top, then climbs up. Cash tags in and goes to the adjacent corner! SUPERPLEX! FLYING SPLASH!! Power and Glory!! Cover, Cobb breaks it!! Fans fire up as Cobb ducks Cash to ripcord and TOUR OF- NO, Dax chop blocks!

Cash turns things around, TORNADO DDT! Dax hurries after Khan and hauls him up. Dax whips but Khan KICKS him, and LARIATS Cash! Khan BOOTS Dax, scoops and TTD on Cash! Cover, TWO!! Fans are thunderous as all four men are down! Khan clamps the IRON CLAW onto Cash! ELIMI- NO, Cash slips out and Dax tags in. Khan whips but Cash slides under! Dax flapjacks Khan, for the BIG RIG!!! Cover, FTR WINS!

Winners: FTR, by pinfall (still IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions)

Cash & Dax not only stay IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, they stay the THREE BELT Champions! But with World Tag League around the corner, will FTR be able to keep things that way? Or will the United Empire be back for another round?

 

IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship: Will Ospreay VS Tetsuya Naito!

The Commonwealth Kingpin didn’t like the idea of it, but a #1 contender’s match of sorts was held at Royal Quest II, and it was the Uncontrollable Charisma that came out on top! The United Empire has gone 1-1, but will Ospreay cap the night with a win? Or will even he be conquered tonight?

The introductions are made, with Gideon Grey making Ospreay’s. The US title is raised, and to finish Battle Autumn, we see who has a golden ticket to WrestleKingdom!

Naito hands over Grey’s jacket as if it’s a prize, and maybe in a way, it is. Naito then takes his time with his entrance attire, as he always does. Ospreay is annoyed but he lets it finish. The bell rings and Ospreay rushes in! Naito avoids the dropkick, arm-drags, but Ospreay headscissors. Naito kips free, he dodges Ospreay and RANAS, but Ospreay handsprings! Naito avoids the Penalty Kick and the standing moonsault, Ospreay runs to handspring! Naito avoids the kick, kicks Ospreay, and he throws Ospreay out! Naito builds speed but Ospreay knows what’s coming! Ospreay slides in and he copies tranquilo as Naito tranquilos!

Fans fire up as Naito and Ospreay both smirk. Naito and Ospreay slowly sit up as fans rally up. Ospreay and Naito stand and reset. Ospreay shows off doing jumping jacks, and then he and Naito approach. Naito avoids Ospreay, though, and fans applaud. Naito wants Ospreay to hold on, and they circle again. Naito steps forward but then back. The circling continues and fans rally up. Naito tries to fake Ospreay again but Ospreay pushes him to ropes. They both fight for control, and Naito has Ospreay against ropes. Red Shoes calls for the break, Ospreay turns things around, and then Ospreay lets off slowly.

Naito ducks the cheap shot to fire off fists on Ospreay! Naito whips, hip tosses Ospreay into a backbreaker! Ospreay writhes, Naito drags him up, NECKBREAKER! And PLUMA BLANCA! Ospreay kicks and flails to the ROPEBREAK! Naito claims he needs help again, but he does let go at 4. Ospreay bails out and is fuming. Fans rally while Naito now says Ospreay needs to hurry up. The ring count starts and Ospreay stands, but then he clutches his neck. Ospreay shakes out his bad arm and tries to get feeling, and the ring count reaches 10 of 20. Ospreay hears it reach 15, and he slides in at 17. Naito stomps Ospreay down!

Naito drags Ospreay up, snapmares, and cravats. Naito pulls on the hold but Ospreay endures. Ospreay moves around, fights up to his feet, and he throws body shots. Naito still puts Ospreay in the corner, Ospreay demands the ropebreak, and Red Shoes counts. Naito holds, Ospreay CLUBS him, but Naito throws a hard back elbow! Fans rally as Naito throws another hard elbow! And another! Naito lets off as Red Shoes reprimands, and Naito whips Ospreay corner to corner. JUMP KICK! Leg sweep! But Ospreay disrupts Combinacion Cabron and puts Naito up top! Ospreay CHOPS Naito and Naito falls to the floor!

Fans fire up while Naito writhes and clutches his stinging chest. Gideon coaches Ospreay as the ring count starts. Ospreay goes out and stalks Naito around the way. Ospreay brings Naito up, and whips him hard into railing! Naito tumbles up and over! Ospreay shakes out the bad arm while fans rally up again. Ospreay goes out to fetch Naito in No Man’s Land, and he CHOPS him! Naito rests on the spare table, but Ospreay drags him up. Ospreay has Naito sit on the railing, and DECKS him back into ringside! The ring count finally starts again and Ospreay drags Naito up. Ospreay puts Naito in at 9 of 20 and fans applaud.

Ospreay stalks Naito to the other side of the ring. Ospreay drags Naito up while fans rally. Ospreay ROCKS Naito with a forearm! Naito staggers, Ospreay CLUBS him on the back. Naito staggers into a CHOP! Ospreay stalks Naito, and CHOPS him off his feet! Ospreay covers, TWO! Fans applaud and rally up again, but Ospreay drags Naito up. Naito throws body shots and forearms! Ospreay EuroUppers! Ospreay whips, Naito reverses but Ospreay turns hip toss into COBRA TWIST! Naito CLUBS Ospreay but Ospreay scoops for the SPIN OUT BACKBREAKER! Naito flounders away but fans rally up again.

Ospreay stalks Naito, drags him up, and snapmares to then dig a knee into Naito’s back. Ospreay has the chinlock but Naito endures. Naito grabs at Ospreay but Ospreay pulls back on the hold. Fans rally as Naito continues to endure. Naito fights around but Ospreay digs that knee in! Naito kicks and flails and gets the ROPEBREAK! Ospreay lets off quickly, and he drags Naito up. Ospreay whips Naito to ropes, but Naito holds ropes to BOOT back! Naito runs, into an elbow! Ospreay runs, into a BOOT! Both men are down and fans rally up again. Naito stands up first, he throws haymakers and kicks!

Naito whips, ELBOWS Ospreay down, then basement dropkicks! Fans fire up and Naito has Ospreay in a corner. Naito whips corner to corner, runs in and JUMP KICKS! Ospreay swings but Naito ducks to sweep the legs! Ospreay hits buckles, and then Naito SWINGING DROPKICKS! Not quite Combinacion Cabron but good enough! Ospreay staggers and Naito poses. Fans fire up as Naito hits the NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay barely gets a shoulder up, but Naito gives him toying kicks. Ospreay goes to the corner, Naito kicks him more, and fans rally up. Naito throws those heavy back elbows again!

Naito hoists Ospreay up, brings him out, and hits a SUPER DRAPING NECKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO!! But Naito puts PLUMA BLANCA back on! Ospreay flails but Naito drags him away from ropes! Ospreay turns and reaches out but Naito drags him away from those ropes, too! Naito slaps Ospreay around while Ospreay endures the hold. Ospreay grabs at Naito but Naito reclines back. The fans rally, Ospreay kicks and moves around, then reaches out, to the ROPEBREAK! The fans applaud but Naito claims he needs help. Red Shoes isn’t falling for that so Naito lets go on his own. Ospreay clutches his shoulder again while fans rally.

Naito drags Ospreay up, but Ospreay throws a forearm! But it seems to take more out of Ospreay than it does Naito. Ospreay throws another, and another, but Naito ELBOWS and CLUBS Ospreay in return! Naito stomps Ospreay down, then glares at Gideon. Gideon backs off, Naito slaps Ospreay around. Naito whips, Ospreay handsprings to NEURALIZER! Fans fire up as Naito bails out, and Ospreay hurries over to SLINGSHOT ELBOW! Direct hit and both men are down at ringside! Fans rally up while Red Shoes checks. Both men are okay to continue, and Ospreay sits up first. Fans applaud as Ospreay drags Naito up and puts him in the ring.

Ospreay aims from the corner, he springboards, but Naito gets under! Naito wrenches to TORNADO- NO! Ospreay blocks it! Ospreay suplexes Naito, but Naito slips out! Naito waistlocks, Ospreay switches but Naito elbows free. Naito runs, but into the Tiger Wall Kick! And ENZIGURI! Both men are down again and fans rally back up. Ospreay goes to the apron, he aims from the apron again, and springboards, PIP PIP CHEERIO! Cover, TWO! Fans rally while both men are down. Ospreay sits up and he calls his shot. But Naito anchors a leg! Ospreay gives him Kawada Kicks for that. Ospreay springboards but Naito trips him up! DRAPING NECKBREAKER!

Naito then drags Ospreay to the apron, another DRAPING NECKBREAKER, TO THE FLOOR!! Fans are thunderous while both men writhe! Red Shoes checks and Ospreay is okay to continue, despite all that damage to his neck and shoulders. Naito drags himself up with the railing, and he hobbles over towards Ospreay. Naito drags Ospreay up, and whips him into the POST! Ospreay wipes out at Gideon’s feet! Naito storms over as Ospreay flounders against railing. Naito grins and opens the gate. Naito CHOKES Ospreay on the railing, then CLUBS him! Naito then turns Ospreay, but Ospreay breaks free!

Ospreay uses a backslide hook to bring Naito back over! Ospreay then jumps off the railing, OSCUTTER TO THE FLOOR!! Fans fire up again and Red Shoes checks both men. They’re somehow okay to continue, and a ring count begins. Naito and Ospreay writhe and stir, the count is 10 of 20. Ospreay and Naito slowly sit up at 15, flounder their way over to the ring, and they both spring in at 19!! Fans rally back up as both men are stirring. They crawl after each other, and Ospreay throws a forearm! Naito sits back up and he throws a forearm into Ospreay! Ospreay sits back up and he forearms Naito. Naito forearms Ospreay.

Ospreay throws another forearm, but so does Naito. Fans fire up as Ospreay roars! Ospreay ROCKS Naito, but Naito ROCKS Ospreay! Ospreay eggs Naito on and the forearms fly fast and furious! The forearms slow down, Naito SLAPS Ospreay, Ospreay throws more forearms! Naito throws those all back! FIVE in a row! Fans are thunderous as Ospreay is dazed! Naito drags Ospreay back up, and he throws elbows! Ospreay gives Kawada Kicks! Naito gives elbows! Ospreay clinches to an EXPLODER! But Naito has the arm! Naito drags Ospreay up to throw more elbows! Ospreay drops to a knee and fans fire up!

Naito drags Ospreay back up, and he throws more back elbows! Ospreay falls back in a heap! Naito paces while Ospreay sits up in a daze. Fans rally hard as ever and Naito stands Ospreay up. Naito throws more elbows! Ospreay falls back in another heap! Naito drags Ospreay up again, to wrench, but Ospreay RAMS Naito into a corner. Ospreay runs in, but into a BOOT! Naito runs, to RANA, but Ospreay blocks! Ospreay gets Naito up but Naito slips out to TORNADO DDT! Ospreay goes to a corner, Naito hoists him up top again, and then climbs up behind him! Fans are thunderous for the SUPER POISON RANA, BUT OSPREAY LANDS ON HIS FEET!!

Ospreay springboards to OSCUTTER!! Both men are down and fans are thunderous! Ospreay crawls to a cover, TWO!!! Naito survives, but Ospreay is too tired to be upset about it! Fans rally harder and harder, Naito slowly sits up as we pass 25 minutes! Ospreay slaps some sense into himself while Naito crawls to a corner. Ospreay crawls over and brings Naito up in a waistlock. Ospreay hoists Naito up top now, and Ospreay then tucks Naito in! CHEEKY NANDOS! And then Ospreay gets under Naito for an Electric Chair! Ospreay goes up the corner?! But Naito fights it! Naito turns to SUPER STEINER!!

Fans are electric, Naito runs in, but Ospreay holds that off to DOCTOR BOMB!! Cover, TWO!?! Naito survives and fans are electric again! Ospreay prepares his arm and he aims from the corner! But Naito wheelbarrows to victory roll! TWO!! Ospreay hurries, Naito ducks the superkick to ENZIGURI! Ospreay returns, but into a pop-up into the buckles! Naito then hurries to the corner, he gets Ospreay up, ESPERANZA!! Naito sets up again, he runs at Ospreay, CORRIENDO- NO! Ospreay slips free to SUPERKICK! And HIDDEN- DESTINO!!! Cover, TWO!?!? Ospreay survives but Naito drags him up! Wrench and tilt-o-whirl, NO! Underhooks and STORM- DESTINO!?!?!? Cover, TWO!?!?!?

Naito doesn’t let that stop him! Fans are electric again and Naito drags Ospreay up! Wrench and tilt-o-whirl, but Ospreay slips out! Ospreay and Naito fight for control, POP-UP FOREARM!! And then HIDDEN BLADE to the face!!! Fans are at a fever pitch as Ospreay aims again, TRUE HIDDEN BLADE!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!?!? HOW?!?! But Ospreay doesn’t care, he just hauls Naito up again! Double underhooks, STORMBREAKER!!!!! Cover, OSPREAY WINS!!!

Winner: Will Ospreay, by pinfall (still IWGP US Heavyweight Champion)

Just after 30 minutes, this one comes to an end! Naito gave it his all, but it just wasn’t enough to dethrone Ospreay! If Naito can’t use the US title as a way to WrestleKingdom, then what is there for him?

As for Ospreay, he is helped up by Aussie Open, and Gideon Grey gets him the belt. Grey and Red Shoes raise Ospreay’s hands in victory, and then Gideon gets Ospreay the mic. Ospreay takes it and says, “And that is how you make the United States Championship worth it. Orange Cassidy, Dave Finlay, and now, Tetsuya Naito.” Ospreay counts three but he wants a fourth. “Well, Naito, gomenasai <very sorry,> no Tokyo Dome for you. But… My journey is still going. And we have in two, three weeks, Stardom NJPW crossover show! So… Open Challenge! Who is next?!” Ospreay and the Empire wait to see if someone will come out.

Well, no one? Then maybe someone should get on Skype or on Zoom. Anyone from “The Forbidden Door” want to show up? Who? No one’s answering! “Guess nobody wants to get in the ring with THE Best Wrestler in the World!” Gideon takes the mic to say Chaos, LIJ, and anyone else, there is just NO ONE that can do it night after night after night quite like the Empire! So on behalf of Aussie Open and Will Ospreay, Gideon thanks them for coming to see the United Empire!! The confetti flies and the crowns are up. Who will answer the call for the title? WAIT! Just as Ospreay’s heading out, the lights go out!

It’s… SHOOTER!! The Roughneck, Shota Umino, is back in Japan! Ospreay is a bit surprised, but he lets Shota approach and fans applaud. Ospreay and Shota get face to face, and Ospreay holds up the belt. “Is this what you want? Huh? Is this what you want? Welcome back, but you came back at the wrong time. I’m the United States Champion, what’re you gonna do about it?” Shota just pushes Ospreay aside to get the mic for himself. Shota holds up the mic, but then tosses it aside to DECK Ospreay! Shota then CLOBBERS Fletcher and DECKS Davis! Gideon gets in but Shota DECKS him, too!

Shota kicks Gideon out, then he dodges Ospreay’s belt attack! DEATH RIDER!! Shooter has learned a lot from the Maniac, Jon Moxley, and he holds up the title over Ospreay. Shota holds the belt up over his own head, but then bails out as the rest of the United Empire rushes out! Will the Roughneck have a golden homecoming at the Historic X-Over?


My Thoughts:

A great event for NJPW to wrap up Battle Autumn while moving things towards the next big events. Great opener for the Junior Heavyweight Tag titles, and I had a feeling the Empire would retain since they were losing so much during the build. Bushi and Titan got to show how great a combo they are during those tune-ups, but it seems TJP & Akira are still a better team when the pressure is on. The United Empire also winning that 8 Man Tag made sense to keep the rest of the faction strong going into the dual World Tag League, Super Junior Tag League series starting near the end of the month.

I skimmed the other matches, and I almost missed Hikuleo’s because it was so quick. Apparently, Sho tried to help Yujiro attack Hikuleo but Hikuleo whooped them both, and then all he needed was his finisher to get perhaps the fastest win in NJPW. I suppose that’s a good way to make it up to Hikuleo that he doesn’t get the NEVER Openweight title yet, and makes him look awesome so that of course he’ll be taking that title off Karl Anderson. I’m pretty sure the “Incredible Tag” of Hiromu & Taiji VS Wato & Desperado was great stuff, and the same for Okada & Tama VS White & Kenta, but those were of course just tune-ups. Wato & Desperado win, perhaps indicating they’re not going to win the Junior Heavyweight title.

We got great stuff in the NJPW World Television title tournament matches. I was rather shocked that Narita won, but they did bring it to the wire, and it fits the story Narita is telling about bringing around the new generation. And then it was hilarious that there were multiple Young Lions dressed like ZSJ, and that those guys came into play countering Dick Togo’s antics. ZSJ beats Evil surprisingly quick, too, and now we have the finals set for WrestleKingdom, with both guys getting to do a lot of build in the two months left. Now, the way the NJPW and TV Asahi officials introduced this title, it’s about the young generation, so I would think Narita is the one to win, but ZSJ really deserves to have a singles title finally, and being an inaugural champion would be great for him.

And of course, we got awesome stuff for the heavyweight tag titles and the US title. FTR VS Khan & Cobb wasn’t the insane match of the year contender that FTR VS Aussie Open was at Royal Quest II, but this was great stuff from both teams. I suppose FTR winning is fine, they can join World Tag League with the pressure of being champions on them, and we’ll see how that story plays out. Naito VS Ospreay was awesome stuff, practically WrestleKingdom worthy in itself, and it was a bit of a surprise that Ospreay won, but something made me feel like Naito’s story is going to be him scraping the bottom of the barrel to get on the WK17 card. Maybe he and Sanada get in WTL, too?

And then Shota returning here was great, he gets to have that rough Face persona where he’s not backing down from a fight. He is going to give Ospreay a great match since we saw a sampler at Royal Quest II. They can even build off that, where Red Shoes has to let his son take the brutal hits Ospreay is going to throw at him. I don’t think Shota gets the title but he’ll look great either way.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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