So after probably the worst build in the last 5 years that D’Amore has been at the top of the company. The wrestling on the shows were more mediocre than good, the stories have been uninteresting or just obvious filler, and I can’t really say anything has been interesting after Hard to Kill.

With that, I expect nothing from this show since the build doesn’t really convince me otherwise. And I’m not looking forward to a wasted segment for talking. So here’s my picks:

1. Gisele Shaw vs Deonna Purrazzo: Gisele wins – because they need to start building new faces in the Women’s division.
2. Jonathan Gresham vs Speedball: Gresham wins – because he’s not gonna lose again, especially not while Bailey is in a rebuilding arc.
3. Kaz vs Kon: Kaz wins – because Kon sucks
4. Knockouts Tags: Death Dollz vs The Hex – Hex win – because who cares, the Knockouts tag division has been awful since the IIconics left.
5. Digital Media Championship: Moose vs Joe Hendry – Moose wins – because I picked Hendry last time and I feel dirty. I don’t really see Hendry losing but I like Moose too much to pick against him twice.
6. Maclin vs Myers vs Heath vs PCO: Maclin wins – because its about damn time he got a legit shot at the belt. GIVE THE MAN HIS DAMN TITLE SHOT!
7. Time Machine vs Bullet Club: The Fans win – Okay that’s a cop out, I love KENTA and I love MCMG…but I’m probably leaning towards Time Machine because of bias.
8. Knockouts Title: Mickie vs Masha – Mickie wins – While I hate Masha losing her third title shot, they’re making too big of a deal about Jordynne’s rematch to have Mickie drop it.
9. World Title: Josh Alexander vs Rich Swann: Josh wins – Maclin versus Alexander plays more in my head since Maclin has already beat Swann decisively and a first defense just to potentially drop it or wasting Maclin’s first real shot…sounds stupid.

Ratings:

• Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Deonna Purrazzo: Gisele wins via Denouement – ** 1/2
• Jonathan Gresham vs Speedball Mike Bailey: Gresham wins via Laced Cradle – *** 3/4
• Frankie Kazarian vs Kon w/The Design: Kaz wins via Slingshot Cutter – ** 3/4
• Knockouts Tag Titles: Death Dollz (Taya & JesSICKa w/Rosemary) (c) vs The Hex (Marti Belle & Allysin Kay): Death Dollz retains via SICKishi Driver – ** 1/2
• dotCOMBAT Match: Digital Media Championship: Joe Hendry (c) vs Moose: Hendry wins via Cradle with Tights – *** 1/2
• Number 1 Contender Match: Steve Maclin vs Brian Myers vs PCO vs Heath: Maclin wins via K.I.A. – *** 1/4
• Time Machine (Kushida, Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) vs Bullet Club (KENTA, Chris Bey & Ace Austin): Bullet Club wins via Backslide – **** 1/4
• Knockouts Championship: Mickie James (c) vs Masha Slamovich: Mickie retains via Counter Cradle – ***
• Impact World Championship: Josh Alexander (c) vs Rich Swann: Josh retains via C4 Spike – ****

Results:

Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Deonna Purrazzo

Early back and forth with Deonna pulling off a few more athletic moves and less mat wrestling. Gisele does manage to catch Deonna in the ring skirt and then take it to Deonna for quite a long stretch of this match. Deonna does have quick moments where she turns the tide when Gisele takes too long posturing. Fujiawara attempt, but Gisele gets out, Gisele tries a Queen’s Gambit for the rub ins, but Deonna counters.

Deonna rocks Gisele, sets things up for a win but Jai hits the apron and distracts the referee while Savannah Evans slides in and hits the Full Nelson Bomb on Deonna. Gisele hits the Denouement for the win! And Savannah celebrates with Jai and Gisele.

I’m not mad at this. Gisele gets a solid win on paper, but wins via heel tactics while putting together her own little stable. 

Jonathan Gresham vs Speedball Mike Bailey

Now this is the main reason I’m watching the Countdown. Crazy that this was put on YouTube for free.

Bailey chooses to lock up with Gresham to start with, retreat to the ropes, a few strike misses takes us to a little tie up into the ropes again. Rope run, Shoulder Tackle from Gresham just pauses Bailey and he throws a big Round Kick to Gresham’s chest. Back and forth strikes, with an interesting wrinkle from Gresham as he chops the left leg instead of just the upper body shots.

Rapid Fire kicks, sending Gresham out, Bailey follows with the Triangle Moonsault, but he’s been selling the dinged up leg with ever move. Gresham has been absorbing a lot of kicks with Bailey selling it and Gresham trying to fight through. Gresham steps into the left kicks and doesn’t really budge. A few spots where he sells the legs after each kick, tries the Standing Moonsault but Gresham moves. Rope Run Springboard Frankensteiner from Gresham, he starts laying into the damaged leg and then ties him up in a kneeling Figure Four while raining down some strikes.

Big haymakers miss, strikes miss, Suplexes get flipped out of, Moonsaults get dodged; but Gresham connects with a Rolling Elbow as they both drop but no cover is started. They get up by 9 and Fighting Spirit spot. Bailey tries to run for the Handspring Back Elbow but his leg gives, Gresham almost misses the Springboard Moonsault but gets enough, Bailey powders, eats a Dive, then pops up for a big Asai Moonsault. Tornado Kick attempt but the leg gives out, Sliding D from Gresham, 2 count. Exchanges, Gresham eats a big strike, Bailey fights through the pain, Tornado Kick connects! Ultima Weapon – misses! Gresham jumps on him, forward Cradle with a leg lace for the win!

For a match with no story really, it wasn’t bad at all. Not as good as their tag match last night, but definitely solid enough to make a future encounter sound spicy.

Frankie Kazarian vs Kon w/The Design

Kon tries to take it to Kaz quickly, but Kaz catches him with a flurry of offense. Should blocks, a few rope assisted moves and a big lariat, as Kon lands on his feet. Kaz tries to continue the offense, tries to get Kon back in the ring and his get bounces off the outside ropes and levels Kaz. A few big overhand ham hocks, a single armed trash bag slam; then a nerve hold really keeps Kaz looking like he’s in trouble.

Frankie tries to pull himself up with the ropes and use the momentum for some strikes, but Kon just shakes it off and flings Kaz out of the ring. Kon slides in Kaz, Kon tries to motion to Deaner, but the small delay costs him. Haymakers from Frankie, then he gets Kon for feed for the Guillotine Leg Drop. While Kon is face down, Kaz hits the Springboard Guillotine to send Kon reeling. The crowd gets behind Frankie, he looks for a dive, but Kon recovers and levels Kaz. Picks him up for a Power Slam, Frankie slips it for the Scorpion Death Drop and a near fall. Frustration starts to get to Kaz as he just wails on him while trying to get him in a Chicken Wing, but it’s an exercise in futility. Kon drops Frankie, goes to the top rope for a Diving Headbutt, but misses! La Magistral, only for 2, but he finally gets him into a Chicken Wing. Angels hits the apron, Kaz tries to take out Angels, Callihan grabs a chair, thinks its Kaz but Kaz turns it around and Callihan cracks Kon in the head with the chair. Slingshot Cutter from Kaz for the 1-2-3.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Death Dollz (Taya & JesSICKa w/Rosemary) (c) vs The Hex (Marti Belle & Allysin Kay)

Allysin and Taya start off to continue what was started yesterday, if you want to call it that. Quick tag to Marti, some tandem offense for an early near fall, but Taya turns things around on Marti. Tag in JesSICKa, her version of the Flip, Flop and Fly…as she drops Marti and Allysin. Jess hits the ropes and Allysin trips her up.

I mean I’ll say it, for everyone who loves thicc girls, this is definitely a match for you. That’s not just shallow commentary either since 3 of the four women play up their “assets” well and often during spots in the match. Stink Faces, Hip Attacks with booty shaking punctuation – THICC.

Now that I can focus beyond the thiccness, Marti starts taunting JesSICKa’s heavy metal persona, and that allows Jess to do her best Luigi from Smash Bros impression and a Jumping Headbutt clocks Marti and causes the stereo tags. Taya starts showcasing some nice wrestling, ties up Allysin and hits the tied up Curb Stomp for a 2. Hex tries a tandem move, but Taya counters them both. Death by Kay catches Taya after she fought off both, but only two. Corner punches turns into a Running Powerbomb from Taya. Marti sneaks in the tag, Jess tags in, and its just a signature spam spot. Hex Marks the Spot attempt but JesSICKa breaks it up with a POUNCE. Head Kick plus SICKishi Driver equals Death Dollz retain.

dotCOMBAT Match: Digital Media Championship: Joe Hendry (c) vs Moose

Joe Hendry comes out first because he’s Joe, so no real shock. But once Moose comes down, its obvious why Joe came out first because Moose attacks him before the bell. Solid brawling and an occasional chair early on spills outside and then Moose slows down Hendry’s attempts with a huge Uranage through the time keeper’s table.

Moose flips off Hendry and Hendry adds comedy with the Sega Dreamcast and says “No Screw You!” and flips open the disc lid of the Dreamcast. Then Hendry finds a toy car, tries to crash it into Moose, but it does nothing. Moose kicks it away allowing Hendry to throw Moose around a little. Hendry finds box, and now a bigger remote control car!

Propped in the corner Moose is standing there, he wants to drive the car in, but the toy doesn’t work. So Hendry calls an audible and just picks up the RC Car and throws it at Moose’s nuts. Hendry is adding really good comedy in spots without being TOO stupid. Hendry tries to go after Moose, Moose moves and Hendry hits a lodged chair from earlier, then a GO TO HELL for 2!

Black Bag is found! Is it Legos? No it’s Keyboard Keycaps! Uranage no, Standing Ovation No, Uranage finally connects but not on the keys. Moose goes up top, Hendry scoops some caps and throws them to distract Moose, then follows him up, Superplex into the Keycaps for 2! Hendry grabs a VR headset! Moose starts dancing and they show on the tron that he thinks he’s at a club, then it switches to the Dancing Moose video! Moose gets angry, but gets caught by Hendry with a Cutter into the caps for 2! Low Blow from Moose, Lights Out attempt, Head and Arm Cradle for 2, Cradle counter with tights for Moose but Hendry rolls through and returns the favor of tight pulling cradle for the win!

Now I wanted Moose to win, but of course I’m not mad about Joe. A bunch of good comedy spots and solid wrestling all together. 

Oh now its time for that stupid concept of a “Live Busted Open” episode. I think I may go take a dump, walk my non-existent dog, or maybe I’ll just start learning a new language since that would be time better spent than whatever is going to happen here.

Bully brings up the NWO documentary with Nash having to do it with Hall. He’s trying to come off sincere, but we all know with Bully…he’s gonna turn this at some point. Using Nash and Hall for potential heat, is cheap. It sounds like there’s an “End this now chant starting”. Bully throws coffee in Dreamer’s face after the fake sincerity was rejected by Dreamer. So yeah…at least something finally happened. God this was a waste of time. This may be the worst non-wrestling segment of any PPV in the last few years. 

At least that pile of shit is over and we have the upper half of the card left. So it can only get better from here. 

Number 1 Contender Match: Steve Maclin vs Brian Myers vs PCO vs Heath

Hopefully this can resurrect the energy of the show after that Busted Open pile of crap. You don’t put promo battles in the middle of a PPV, especially obvious garbage.

Everyone gangs up on PCO; PCO fires out of the onslaught and after punching everyone, he throws himself at Maclin so they both wipe out. Myers and Heath have a small back and forth in the ring while Maclin and PCO try to stay a little active. Heath pulls off a Senton from apron, which isn’t his usual thing. Tries to slid Maclin in to get a flash Wake Up Call, but Myers pulls him out. Maclin hits the dive and we see PCO take the control back.

Myers manages to dump PCO off the apron, Maclin sees the opportunity and helps Myers backdrop PCO. Then they shove PCO under the ring. Heath tries something, but Maclin and Myers continue their allegiance, so Heath has no chance in a 2v1 for now. Heath tries to fight them off, knocks out Myers but Maclin stops Heath with a Backbreaker and a few near falls. Heath dumps out Maclin, and before he can collect himself Myers flies in with a Knee and then a Flatliner. Myers poses and PCO emerges from under the ring.

PCO takes out Myers, Heath and Maclin fight, Maclin eats a Wake Up Call but powders to the apron and eats a Deanimator from PCO. Cradle attempt into a Rope Run Spear from Myers for 2! Myers looking Roster Cut, but PCO says no! Scorpion Death Drop into a PCO-Sault! Eddie hits the ring with a shovel and starts beating the hell out of PCO. Heath slides in, Wake Up Call on Myers, but before he can pin Myers, Maclin slides in and hits K.I.A! MACLIN WINS!

Trey’s music hits and why the hell is he here? We already heard useless talking. I can’t stand Trey Miguel, he’s seriously a garbage wrestler. Maybe PCO can beat the piss out of him. OH GOOD! PCO Chokeslams him on the apron and takes his head off with a lariat! GOOD! 

Time Machine (Kushida, Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) vs Bullet Club (KENTA, Chris Bey & Ace Austin)

KENTA and Kushida start things off, while KENTA plays the heel game of using the ropes and makes space. KENTA tries to lull Kushida with the opening pace, and then things speed up all of a sudden. Kushida tries for a Flying Armbar, but KENTA gets out of it pretty easily. They get space, Kushida stays in and allows KENTA to tag in Bey.

As the action just starts between Bey and Kushida, Shelley slides in for some of the patented MCMG and Time Splitters tandem attacks. Shelley takes a real tag, then Bey finally gets his footing back to tag in Ace. So Sabin still needs to come in, but this is very paint by numbers Japanese style 6 man. There’s the Sabin tag and a Double Dropkick keeps Ace looking for an opening. Single Crab, Facelock, Sliding Dropkick Time Machine action! Bey eats a double PK to his arms, KENTA gets tripped and crotched on the post and then Sliding Dropkick into the face. Time Machine keeping the game fast and in their advantage. Figure Four headlock into a Reverse Figure Four, but Ace is close to the ropes.

Finally the Bullet Club starts their comeback, Fosbury Flop from Ace, Tope con 2 Sweet from Bey and KENTA acts like he’s gonna dive, but does more of a comedy moment where he just walks through the ropes and kicks Kushida. Dual Back Rakes, and Round Kicks from KENTA, as Kushida then gets Rocket Launched into KENTA’s Yakuza Kick! Near fall, but KENTA is vibing with the Two Sweet chant. Kushida catches KENTA, tries to restrain the tag but a Pele Kick allows Kushida the tag. Locomotion offense, Ace and Bey are in, Sabin is mostly doing the work himself but then Shelley comes in, Field Goal Dive onto KENTA, Shelley and Kushida go after each other member and Time Machine back on top!

Triad of corner moves on Bey, followed by the running kick to the back of the head, and then the Missile Dropkick Flatliner from the guns, but only 2. Malfunctions for Time Machine, Sabin kicks Shelley, then wipes out Kushida, KENTA Yakuza Kick into Hesitation Drop Kick, Double Stomp…only 2! Go 2 Sleep attempt, Sabin slips it, KENTA reverses Sabin, Sabin reverses back, Brainbuster. Triangle Kick + TKO on Sabin from Ace & Bey but only for 2! 1-2-Sweet attempt, but Sabin suplexes Bey, Tornado DDT on Ace, Kushida gets tagged and starts lighting up Ace. Backhandspring Elbow from Kushida, Hoverboard Lock but no! Signature spams with all 6 men!

High Speed Dirt with the Cartwheel Dropkick variation from Time Machine has Ace in a bad way. Stereo Yakuza with a Shotei! Outatime first, then Skull and – NO! Bey blocks Shelley and Ace hits the backslide on Sabin for the surprise 3 count!

Knockouts Championship: Mickie James (c) vs Masha Slamovich

Early on there’s a lot of World of Sport chain wrestling. Mickie has wrist control, refuses to let go and it’s roll counters and Arm Wringers, which is smart from Mickie since the whole tap out narrative lead Masha to choke out Mickie a few weeks ago on IMPACT. Mickie tries for the Mick-DT too damn early and Masha Stun Guns her and now starts her full mount fury.

Masha ragdolls Mickie, and then starts licking her face like Mickie likes to and Mickie is the queen of the French Kiss cause she just bites down and counters Masha by biting her tongue. Masha tries to lock in the Kimura afterward, but Mickie rolls it over into a pinfall to force Masha to break the hold. Masha stays aggressive, but Mickie has her flashes of offense. Mickie in the corner, Masha charges, Headscissors counter, Sole Butt, but then Masha launches herself off the ropes to send Mickie spilling out. Masha follows with the Dive and connects enough with Mickie to not look bad.

Goading Mickie just fires her up and we get a strike exchange that leads to Mickie hitting a Neckbreaker to get her a small opening. Sole Butt, Running Forearm, Flapjack and a Kip Up! Classic Mickie offense leads to the potential Thesz Press…but Masha catches her and follows up the corner. They start brawling on the top, Mickie gets the best of things, Avalanche Thesz Press for a VERY close 2. Mick-DT nope, Spinning Backfist from Masha but Mickie ducks it, Mick Kick for 2! Mick-DT but Masha grabs her into a Reverse Piledriver for a near fall!

Buzzsaw Kick attempt from Masha, Mickie catches the leg and spins into a Single Leg Crab and Masha gets to the ropes. Rear Naked Choke out of nowhere, Mickie tries to use the ropes but they get caught. Ref does the 5 count but Masha is relentless, breaking it long enough to not get disqualified and then going back to it for a 4 count. Mickie retreats to the corner, Masha with back to back Yakuza Kicks, Mickie dodges and Masha is perched. Masha tries the Monkey Flip but Mickie Cradles down and turns it into a pinfall! That’s a somewhat unique way to get the Cradle win.

Impact World Championship: Josh Alexander (c) vs Rich Swann

This start at a very deliberate pace, neither wants to make any crazy moves early. So its mostly just a little bit of Josh’s mat based style and Swann trying to add the Cruiserweight flair to his ways out of situations.

The first what feels like 8 minutes is still a lot of “anything you can do I can do better”. They dodge one another similarly and both have moments where they pull a punch just to jaw at the other and make a point. So again, the deliberate pace is expected since Josh has made a habit of 20+ minute matches. But it needs to start picking up soon, every match doesn’t need to be a 25+ minute current era NJPW style match.

The intensity does start to pick up as Josh just throws Rich in the air off a rope run, then feeds into the corner and rolls through into a big German Suplex, not quite a Chaos Theory, but in that kind of vein. Honestly, a lot of solid back and forth work, just too damn slow right now. And on a show where no titles have changed hands, I can’t say this is suspending disbelief.

Swann does have a great Corkscrew Senton to the floor after they were brawling a bit, but I have had no reason to click into this match. Rolling Thunder from Swann for 2, of course. Swann tries to set up the Phoenix Splash, Josh rolls further away, forcing Swann to come get him. Josh takes the opportunity to start pulling off some German Suplexes, then that stops, they find themselves in the corner, Super German attempt, but Rich flips out of it, Hook Kick to the face, Poison Rana, only a near fall. Josh counters a Rana with the Ankle Lock but Rich rolls forward and sends him into the corner.

Poison Rana attempt again, but blocked, Rainmaker attempt, Swann kicks Josh, Falcon Arrow, and only a near fall. Counters, rolls, Backslide into a C4 Spike from Josh. Josh takes a second to recover, tries to drape an arm over and Rich rolls away. Josh tries to collect him, Rich grabs the bottom rope and refuses to roll in. So Josh rips him off the ropes and just slams him down onto the apron.

C4 Spike again, Swann flips up through, grabs onto Josh and starts to light him up with kicks, Phoenix Splash – and Josh kicks out.  Swann crashes and burns on a second Phoenix Splash attempt and Josh locks in the Grapevine Ankle Lock. Swann manages to stand up and fight through, but Josh torques again and won’t let go, Swann stands up again and peppers Josh enough to knock the headgear off. Strike exchange, rope run, double ducks, Lethal Injection from Swann for 2! Hesitation Kick from Swann, Lethal Injection again but no! Jumping Tombstone from Josh into a C4 Spike and he retains!

Overall Score: 7/10

So I mean I’m glad I watched the Countdown because holy crap was the Busted Open segment so bad it ruined this show at the halfway point. The main event in vacuum might be better than I gave it credit for, but honestly the way the card built I had no belief in Swann winning and it started off a bit too slow for my liking. Matches that were supposed to pay off definitely did. Bullet Club versus Time Machine was great, Gresham vs Bailey was awesome and the Hendry vs Moose match was great entertainment. So none of the wrestling matches were horrible, just that worthless Bully Ray segment almost tanked the entire PPV.

If you remove that stupid segment and slot in the Gresham versus Bailey match, this would’ve had better momentum going into a slow burn main event; and I would definitely rate it higher. Holy crap did I hate that Busted Open segment, and not for “heat reasons” it was just soo cliché, paint by numbers heel garbage it felt like it was written by a 10 year old. Also one thing I’ve made mention of in the past few years I’ll say again here, IMPACT runs too many of the same finishes on one card. If you count the Coutdown, there were 9 matches, 4 of which ended with some kind of Cradle ‘non-finishing move’ flash pin. Stop that. One or two is fine, but when nearly half the show is Cradles…that’s pretty re-goddamned-diculous.

Still a decent enough show, definitely better than the last month of TV built up for it. But I really don’t wanna see anymore of Dreamer and Bully…its just pathetic.