Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 2.2.2023

We’re coming off of Rich Swann becoming the number one contender, Joe Hendry creating another banger of a parody song and Bully Ray…being more like Bitchy Ray.

Also lets not overlook the fact that Dirty Dango officially signed with IMPACT as well. Which may not be huge, but with the current addition of Santino Marella, Dango being involved in storylines for the foreseeable; there could be some good comedy in store.

There we go, a bunch of stuff got set in motion; but we could always see some interesting wrinkles or just straight forward boredom. Only one way to find out! BUT FIRST! Raven is getting The Flock back together…maybe?

.@milanmiracle got some advice from @theraveneffect on #IMPACTonAXSTV! Was that REESE!?#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/hXuvGak7T2

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 3, 2023

Ratings:

• Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida: Ace & Bey win via 1-2-Sweet – ***
• Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans: Gisele wins via Denouement – ** 1/4
• Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean: Steve wins via King Kill 33 – N/A
• Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King: Kenny wins via Royal Flush – N/A
• The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida

As much as I like Ace & Bey, a part of me would like MCMG versus Kushida and his new partner.

Early on its just counters, posing to the crowd and getting themselves over until Bey manages to sweep the leg, slingshot over the top rope for a stomp and take over a little. Knight manages to avoid a corner move, one legged Springboard Body Press, Jumping Frog Splash, and then a quick tag to Kushida. Some tandem moves from Kushida and Knight as Knight continues to mix it up with Bey.

Ace distracts Knight before the Springboard and Bey meets him in midair with a Dropkick and gets Ace in for some tandem offense and then Ace starts setting the pace. Double Arm Wringer into a tandem Back Rake. Then they wrestle Knight to the ground and keep him down for another Back Rake. Ace continues to set the pace and keep Knight mostly on the receiving end, until Knight rolls out of a lift, Ricky to Robert roll, Kushida gets the hot tag and starts clearing the ring. Bey tries Art of Finesse, Kushida catches him in a Flying Armbar but Bey turns it into a Cradle to get Kushida to break.

Electric Chair from Kushida, but before Knight can hit his Dropkick, Ace slides in and catches Knight on his back. Chicken Fight before Kushida and Knight finally hit their Tandem move but Ace makes the save. Ace wipes out Kushida, Knight forces Ace out, tries to go for a Plancha, but Bey was crotched on the top rope. As Knight tries to Plancha, Bey hits a Cutter out of nowhere on the apron. Ace sees the opening, 1-2-Sweet for the win!

.@CodyDeaner is showing @TheSamiCallihan mercy! Sami has a shot a redemption TONIGHT! @Alan_V_Angels @Big_Kon1 #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/oQRjxOOZm3

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 3, 2023

Steph De Lander video package…that’s a pretty decent grab for IMPACT.

Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans

Gisele faces off with Savannah and slaps her in the face a few times and refuses to back down. Savannah of course fires back, but when Gisele gets violent is when she’s at her best. After a big toss, Gisele powders, confers with Jai and the commercial kicks in. When we get back, Gisele has the advantage. But Savannah takes the short arm pull in, Side Slam for effect and distance.

Now they start trading strikes, that Savannah wins that war. A few short Lariats, Samoan Drop, and Gisele is reeling. Retreats to the corner, tries to stop Savannah with the Back Elbow, but eats a Spinebuster when she tries to continue. Fisherman’s Suplex Hold from Savannah for 2, Full Nelson Slam attempt, but Jai hits the apron and tries to seduce the referee as a distraction. Gisele hits the Denouement (Knee Strike) for the win.

The crowd is actively booing Gisele, but she powers through for her promo. It wasn’t great, but I’ll give her some credit for pushing through. 

.@KennyKingPb2 ONLY wants to hear about K…I….N….G! @swinger_johnny @ZickyDice #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/cuIuq70jbz

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 3, 2023

Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean

Sheldon Jean continues the arrogance, though he’s a nobody enhancement talent. It would be nice if some of these enhancement talent wrestlers didn’t all have that same arrogant persona. We all know Steve is going to win, this is just a storytelling tool to probably add to the Trey Miguel stuff.

Steve is entertaining, but this match is more predictable than most things. He hits King Kill 33, but apparently it’s called Belladonna’s Kiss now. Trey jumps Taurus, tries to spray paint Steve, but Steve bites him and spray paints himself causing Trey to powder out of confusion/fear.

Bully comes out to complain as has been his thing the last few weeks. But thankfully Mickie returns the favor from last week and interrupts Bully. Verbal jabs, Bully Ray insults Mickie, Mickie slaps him, Bully slams her and calls in the Good Hands to get the tables. Tommy Dreamer makes a save with a kendo stick. Good Hands vs Mickie & Tommy next week. 

.@Kelly_WP and @RealTaylorWilde have a date with the Death Dollz!@thetayavalkyrie @WeAreRosemary @FearHavok #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/qQnDLvMSy2

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) February 3, 2023

Oh good, this is exactly what I wanted from a few weeks ago! Kelly and Taylor will be a great team.

Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King

Some goofy posturing and general Swinger antics. Eddy Gordo kick into Royal Flush, and Kenny gets the obvious win.

Bully has a segment in the back with Masha, and it seems like he’s a little smitten while he was trying to just manipulate her emotions to pick up the pieces after or during the tag match next week. 

Cardona and Myers try to make their own diss track song…and it was awful. It was supposed to be bad, and yes, it achieved that. It was like Miz and Morrison, without comedic talent.

The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann

Deaner barks at Callihan to start against Swann, then commands him to tag out, and a multi-man match is always a little bit of everyone gets moments. So its just odd that the heel team will be dictated by Deaner to a degree. Uemura comes in second and he reminds me so much of a young Tanahashi its crazy. Deaner calls for the tag and squares off against Josh now.

An attempted jumping in the corner, but Josh gets space and it turns into all 8 men in at once. Josh goes right after Kon and tries to assert his dominance on the “power” of The Design. After the commercial, Uemura gets rocked but Kaz saves him with a blind tag and hits some of his classic moves on Angels and Callihan. Swann comes in but Deaner and Kon manage to ground Swann and put the momentum back in the hands on The Design.

Some stupid spots take away a little from the match while Swann is getting worked over. Swann slaps his leg when he eats a Dropkick from Angels, then tries to Leapfrog Deaner and jump to his corner, Deaner grabs him away but it just looks silly and like it was never going to work to begin with. Its the optime of doing too much and hurting the match. Josh eventually gets a hot tag, tags a square off with Kon, throws him around and King Kong Knee drops Kon. Ankle Lock gives the near fall but Kon kicks off, Uemura tags himself in, Callihan gets the tag, is about to finish off Uemura; but Deaner stops the Thumbs Up – so Josh breaks up the offense and we get all 8 men pulls off high impact moves.

Cactus Driver attempt, Uemura hits the Enzuigiri to stun Callihan. Goes to the top, Deaner trips Uemura, Cactus Driver ’97 wins the match.

Overall Score: 5/10

This was a weird episode. The only match worth watching was the opening tag match, the rest were predictable, boring or just had dumb spots in them. Backstage segments however, those were pretty great. The problem though, is they built off of either inside jokes, old WCW knowledge or not shutting off cringe immediately.

So while I loved the Raven & Reese segment, Kelly & Taylor, and found some amusement in the Cardona stuff…its really subjective and not exactly friendly to an uninitiated viewer. We got an episode that catered to already existing fans, which isn’t how to grow a brand.

Even though I enjoyed things for the most part, this was a lame episode from the perspective of retaining new eyes.