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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (5/26/23)

The Eve of Champions!

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SmackDown is once again The Kevin Owens Show!

At least, for tonight as Kevin & Sami have Roman Reigns & Solo Sikoa as their guests! Will there be more than words thrown just 18 hours before their Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship match?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Sheamus; Theory wins and retains the title.
  • Raquel Rodriguez & Shotzi Blackheart VS Bayley & Iyo Sky; Raquel & Shotzi win.
  • Cameron Grimes VS Ashante THEE Adonis w/ Hit Row; Grimes wins.
  • LA Knight VS Rick Boogs; Knight wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Karrion Kross w/ Scarlett Bordeaux; Styles wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Sheamus w/ The Brawling Brutes!

The United States Champion is The Now, but he’s going up against The Celtic Warrior! Will Theory no longer be the Now and be the former? Or will he survive Fight Night?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is really the greatest US Champion today!

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Sheamus puts Theory in a corner, but the ref counts. Sheamus and Theory hand fight, Sheamus facelocks and brings Theory around. Theory gets to a waistlock but Sheamus swings. Theory avoids it, headlocks, but Sheamus powers out to then run Theory over! Fans fire up while Theory gets up in a huff. Theory and Sheamus tie up with knuckle locks and go shoulder to shoulder. Theory kicks low, whips, but Sheamus reverses. Theory blocks a hip toss but Sheamus blocks a hip toss to then CLOBBER Theory! Fans fire up and Sheamus UPPERCUTS Theory!

Fans rally, Sheamus brings Theory up to UPPERCUT again! Theory drop toeholds Sheamus into buckles! Theory goes out, slingshots in, and somersault SHOTGUNS! Sheamus ends up on the apron now, and Theory goes after him. Theory has Sheamus against ropes, and he wants to steal the Bodhrain! But Sheamus stops him at one! And throws elbows on Theory! Fans fire up as Sheamus fireman’s carries! Theory fights free, POSTS Sheamus, and then APRON BACK SUPLEXES him! Fans boo but Theory pushes Sheamus to the floor. The Now is in control as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Theory throws hands on Sheamus in the corner! The fans boo as Theory CLUBS away on Sheamus’ back! Sheamus shoves Theory away but Theory stomps him down! Cover, ONE, and Sheamus goes to a corner. Sheamus elbows Theory away, then mule kicks him down! Sheamus staggers, he whips Theory but Theory reverses to CLOBBER him! Cover, ONE!! Sheamus hangs tough but Theory wraps on a chinlock. Fans fire up as Sheamus fights to his feet, and Sheamus throws body shots. Sheamus whips Theory to a corner, runs in but he blocks a boot. Theory ROCKS Sheamus with a forearm!

Sheamus somersaults for a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Theory is furious that Sheamus survives. Fans fire up as Theory stalks Sheamus, but then boo as Theory pie faces Sheamus. Theory talks trash, Sheamus glares at Theory and stands up. Sheamus HEADBUTTS Theory! And ROCKS him with haymakers! Fans fire up, Sheamus whips but Theory reverses. Sheamus KICKS Theory, then CLOBBERS him! And CLOBBERS him again! Sheamus clotheslines in a corner, whips corner to corner, then runs in to clothesline again! Fireman’s carry, but Theory fights free! Theory kicks low, but Sheamus wrenches back, IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally and Sheamus watches Theory crawl. The fans cheer Sheamus on as he Alabama Lifts Theory. But Theory fights to a sunset flip, TWO! Theory hurries up but into an UPPERCUT! And then a scoop for a POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Sheamus is annoyed but keeps his focus. Theory stirs and sputters but Sheamus drags him up. Sheamus fireman’s carries Theory, climbs up the corner, and fans fire up, but Theory fights free again! Theory CLUBS Sheamus on the back, climbs up behind him, CLUBS away on him some more, and then torture racks! For a TOWER HACKER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!?!?

Sheamus shocks Theory and fans are thunderous! The Brawling Brutes pound the apron and the fans rally with them. Theory goes to the apron, slingshots in again, but Sheamus KNEES him back! Cover, TWO!! Theory survives and Sheamus is a bit exasperated. Theory goes to the apron, and Sheamus has him on the ropes! Fans fire up but Theory breaks free to BOOT Sheamus away! Theory grabs a CHAIR! Fans boo, the ref reprimands, but the Brutes snatch that chair from Theory! Theory is furious, but Sheamus has him again! BEATS OF THE BODHRAIN! Sheamus goes past ten to get TWENTY-FIVE!!

Fans are thunderous again and Sheamus aims from the corner! But then PRETTY DEADLY attack the Brutes! Fans boo as Elton Prince TOSSES Dunne and then helps Kit Wilson RAM Ridge into steps! Sheamus DECKS Elton, then catches Kit! BEATS OF THE BODHRAIN for Kit! But Theory rolls Sheamus up with tights!! THEORY WINS!!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

Fans boo as The Now gets away with this thanks to Elton & Kit! But then Pretty Deadly is on the run from a furious Fella! Will the Brawling Brutes make sure Pretty Deadly ends up very dead?

 

The Bloodline sits in their private suite.

Roman Reigns asks The Wise Man to “let ’em know.” Paul Heyman tells The Usos, “Your Tribal Chief feels guilty that you won’t be joining us tomorrow at Night of Champions, and Your Tribal Chief wants to make it up to you. So you are both personally invited by Your Tribal Chief to join us next week in the ring for the 1000 Day Celebration of the greatest title reign of all time.” Roman says it is going to be huge, so he wants the whole family there. The Usos like that, but then Roman adds, “Especially you, Jey.” Wait, what? Jimmy says this is what he was saying. He has no idea what Roman’s problem is right now.

Jimmy says he’s hungry anyway so he’s gonna go. Oh? Where’s he going? Sit down. Jimmy looks at his brothers, and then sighs. Roman tells him to sit down, but he doesn’t. Roman stands up now and steps closer. “Do something. You standing up on me. You make a good tough guy, Uce, so do something. Go on, prove it.” Jimmy stares Roman down as Roman eggs him on, and Roman says ain’t nothing changed. Think back to when they were kids. Roman whooped Jimmy then, he’d whoop Jimmy now. Jimmy’s gonna respect Roman, he’s gonna obey Roman, and he’s gonna acknowledge Roman.

Jey stands up to tell Jimmy to just calm down. Jey says The Usos will see Roman next week at the celebration. The Usos take their leave, but is Roman going to push Jimmy too far one of these days?

 

Raquel Rodriguez & Shotzi Blackheart VS Bayley & Iyo Sky!

The Ballsy and the Badass are reunited, and it will feel good if they can win those WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships this Monday! Will they fire the first salvo before that Fatal 4 Way? Or will the Role Model & Evil Genius look to take control?

SmackDown returns and DMG CTRL make their entrance. The teams sort out and Raquel starts against Bayley. They circle, Bayley talks trash and then pie faces Raquel. Raquel rushes after Bayley, puts her in a corner, but Bayley avoids the splash. They reset, Bayley calls Sky in but Raquel swipes at her. Bayley attacks, Sky tags in, and DMG CTRL mugs Raquel. Raquel powers them both away! Raquel bodies Sky to tag in Shotzi! Fans fire up as the teams stare down, and then brawl! Shotzi has Sky, Raquel has Bayley. They toss DMG CTRL out, then Raquel holds the ropes open for Shotzi to DIVE! Direct hit at the ramp!

Fans fire up with the Wild Child as she puts Sky in. Cover, TWO! Shotzi tags Raquel in and they bring Sky up to wrench and CLUB the arm. Raquel runs Sky over with a shoulder, then runs her over again. Raquel whips, Sky tilt-o-whirls, but Raquel throws her away. Tag to Bayley before Raquel grabs Sky again. Bayley CLUBS Raquel, Sky SHOTGUNS Raquel into the roll-up! TWO, and DMG CTRL has control for now while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Bayley CHOKES Raquel on the ropes! The ref counts, Bayley lets off, but then CHOKES Raquel more! The ref counts, Sky tags in, and she dropkicks Raquel in the back! Raquel falls over, Sky brings her up and wrenches an arm. Sky wrenches again, fans rally up, and Raquel reaches out. Sky keeps her away to tag in Bayley, but Raquel ELBOWS Bayley and DECKS Sky! Bayley anchors Raquel but Raquel BOOTS Sky, then KICKS Bayley away! Hot tag to Shotzi! Shotzi rallies on DMG CTRL, sends Bayley into Sky then SPLASHES Bayley! Shotzi snapmares to SLING-DOG!

Fans fire up as Shotzi KNEES Bayley, ROLLING ELBOWS Bayley, and then QUESTION MARK KICKS Bayley! Shotzi suplexes Bayley into the ropes! Fans fire up as Shotzi keeps moving, BALLPIT! Cover, TWO! Sky slides in but the ref tells her to get out. This allows Bayley to rake Shotzi’s eyes! Tag to Sky, she and Bayley coordinate, DOUBLE BOOT takes Shotzi down! Cover, Raquel breaks it! Bayley ROCKS Raquel and kicks her out of the ring. Shotzi kicks but Sky dodges, to then stomp a foot! Shotzi blocks the buzzsaw but Sky rolls through to BASEMENT ENZIGURI! Sky brings Shotzi up, underhooks, TIGER-

NO, Shotzi slips out! Shotzi waistlocks, gets the arms, TIGER PLEX! Bridging cover, Bayley breaks it! The ref reprimands but Raquel drags Bayley right out! Shotzi brings Sky up, Raquel tags in. Raquel hoists Sky up and Shotzi climbs, but Sky victory rolls! Bayley BLASTS Shotzi off the corner, but Raquel hoists Sky back up! Sky turns that into a BULLDOG into buckles! Fans fire up as Sky brings Raquel up but Raquel RAMS her into the corner! Bayley sneaks a tag, Sky SHOTEIS! Bayley climbs, as does Sky! SUNSET FLIP, but Raquel stays up! Shotzi returns, Sky MISSILE DROPKICKS Shotzi and SENTONS Raquel!

But Raquel ends up on top of Bayley! Cover, Shotzi & Raquel win!!

Winners: Shotzi Blackheart & Raquel Rodriguez, by pinfall

Sky and Bayley can’t believe it! Who was to blame for the miscommunication? Can they fix things before Monday so this doesn’t happen again? Or will The Wild Child help Big Mami Cool become a THREE-TIME WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion?

 

Cameron Grimes VS Ashante THEE Adonis w/ Hit Row!

The Carolina Caveman may not be quite as cash money as he was in NXT, but he still looks to go #ToTheMoon! Will Grimes grind until he’s gotten some gold? Or will he get taken for all he’s worth by Hit Row?

SmackDown returns and Grimes makes his entrance. The bell rings, Adonis throws his jacket but Grimes dodges! Grimes headlocks, Adonis powers out but Grimes runs him over. Things speed up, Grimes RANAS roughly and fans fire up. Grimes KICKS Adonis back down, then runs to SHOOTING STAR! Cover, ONE!! Adonis is still in this, and Grimes brings him up. Adonis RAMS him into the corner! Adonis fires off hands, the ref counts, and Adonis lets off. Adonis whips corner to corner, but Grimes goes up and over! Adonis hits buckles, Grimes runs, but Dolla trips him up! Fans boo but Adonis CLOBBERS Grimes!

Adonis throws down fists, B-Fab and Dolla taunt Grimes, and Adonis throws in knees! Adonis drags Grimes up, puts him in a corner, and then whips corner to corner hard! AIR DROP on the rebound! Cover, TWO! Fans rally but Adonis storms up on Grimes. Adonis drags Grimes up, but Grimes throws body shots. Adonis CLUBS Grimes, back suplexes, but Grimes lands on his feet! Grimes dodges to CLOBBER Adonis! And then again! And then a RANA! Another rough tumble but Grimes aims from the corner. Fans fire up and echo “TO! THE! MOON!” CAVE-IN!! Cover, Grimes wins!

Winner: Cameron Grimes, by pinfall

This wasn’t as fast as when Grimes beat Corbin, but it was definitely furious! But speaking of furious, Corbin CLOBBERS Grimes on the ramp! Corbin shouts, “How’s that feel, huh!?” Fans boo Sore Loser Corbin but Corbin leaves Grimes down and out. Will Corbin bring Grimes back down to Earth by any means necessary?

 

Bianca Belair is here!

Fans cheer as the RawEST Women’s Champion heads to the ring on the eve of her title match. What will she have about Asuka and maybe even to Asuka before that match? We’ll see, after the break.

SmackDown returns and fans chant for the “E S T! E S T!” Bianca has the mic to say, “Tomorrow, at Night of Champions, I’m gonna step into the ring and defend my Raw Women’s Championship against Asuka. Now, this is not the same Asuka that I remember from WrestleMania. Now that Asuka, I actually respected, because that Asuka wanted this title. Now, I can actually respect that because I know how good it feels to be your Raw Women’s Champion.” Fans cheer that, and Bianca says, “But this Asuka… This Asuka is different. This Asuka wants more than just my title.

“But you know what? If Asuka wanted a rematch, all she had to do was ask! But no, she had to wait until I got into my hometown, where I was celebrating my historic title reign to come in there and mist me and humiliate me in front of my entire family and friends!” Fans boo that, and Bianca says if once wasn’t bad enough, Asuka did it twice when Bianca tried to help Zelina Vega. Now Bianca is standing here, hands still green, eyes still burning, vision still blurred, but… Her mind has never been more clear. So if Asuka wants a rematch, SAY LESS. But Bianca isn’t just giving Asuka a rematch, this is a fight!

Bianca will fight Asuka at Night of Champions until she stands here still your Raw Women’s Champion! But wait, here comes Asuka! But from behind! Fans boo as Asuka ambushes Bianca, and has an ARMBAR!! Bianca kicks and flails, but Asuka is after that arm with bloodthirst in her eyes! Refs and management rush out and get Asuka back from Bianca, but Asuka then rushes in! Bianca gets the torture rack! KISS OF- NO, the officials cushion Asuka’s fall! Asuka gets away and laughs it up, but will she have the last laugh when the title is on the line?

 

LA Knight VS Rick Boogs!

These two were doing well last week against the Street Profits, but just because they lost, Knight turns on Boogs! Will The Mega Star continue to put the blame on Boogs? Or will he be buried underneath the Meat Mountain?

SmackDown returns and Boogs makes his entrance. But then The Profits make their entrance? Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins bring the red Solo cups, then they head to ringside. The bell rings and Boogs runs Knight over! Boogs TOSSES Knight across the way, the Profits join commentary, and Boogs chases after Knight on the outside. Knight wants mercy, but Boogs sees the sucker punch coming to counter punch! Boogs scoops Knight, trophy lifts him, and then SLAMS him on the desk! The Profits love it! He’s BOOGIN’ OUT!! Boogs puts Knight in the ring, but then Knight stomps Boogs as he slides in!

Knight CLUBS Boogs, fires hands, but Boogs hits back. Boogs TOSSES Knight into the corner, clotheslines him, and then whips corner to corner. Boogs runs in but Knight dodges and Boogs POSTS himself! The Profits meanwhile are upset that Roman Reigns insists on adding more belts to his collection. Knight stomps Boogs in the corner, “YEAH! YEAH!” Knight runs corner to corner, to KNEE Boogs! “YEAH!” Knight digs his boot into Boogs but the ref counts. Knight lets off at 4, but Boogs ELBOWS him back! Boogs whips, Knight throws Boogs by his hair! The ref reprimands but Knight runs, only to miss his knee drop!

Knight hurries to facelock Boogs while Ford mocks the pain. Dawkins says don’t try power VS power with Boogs. Boogs TOSSES Knight to prove Dawkins’ point! Knight goes up the corner, leaps, but into a BACK DROP! Boogs powers up and the fans rally! Knight staggers over, ROCKS Boogs, “YEAH!” And ROCKS him again, “YEAH!” Knight whips but Boogs blocks! Knight kicks low, kicks, and kicks, but Boogs whips Knight! FLAPJACK! Boogs gut wrenches and carries Knight around before the SUPLEX! Fans fire up with Boogs and Boogs pump handles and half nelsons. Knight rakes the eyes to escape!

The Profits protest but Knight hits BFT!! Cover, Knight wins!

Winner: LA Knight, by pinfall

“YEAH!” Knight won and has the music cut. He knows the Profits were talking trash the whole time! They keep talking, he’ll make change outta both their $5 asses! He’ll put it like this: What he just showed us is Knight taking out the trash. And the Profits better know, their time’s coming. They want the smoke? NAH NAH! They ain’t getting the smoke, they’re getting smoked! Whose game is it? L A KNIGHT, YEAH! The Mega Star throws the mic at commentary after throwing down the gauntlet, but is his mouth writing checks his body can’t cash?

 

Karrion Kross speaks.

While Scarlett holds up the AJ Styles Justice tarot card, Mr. Doomsday says, “A stubborn man only sees one path before him. And when a man becomes consumed by one singular goal, he fails to see all of the danger around him lying in wait. AJ Styles, you shouldn’t be asking yourself right now, ‘Do I have what it takes to beat Seth Rollins?’ No, you should be asking yourself, ‘What sort of condition am I going to be in after I am victimized by Karrion Kross?'” Will the apocalypse doom The Phenomenal One’s chances at Night of Champions here tonight?

AJ Styles VS Karrion Kross w/ Scarlett Bordeaux!

SmackDown returns as Kross makes his entrance. The bell rings and the two circle. Kross kicks low, throws hands, and he puts Styles in a corner. Kross then RAMS Styles into the buckles, face first! Styles staggers up, Kross runs in to clothesline, ELBOW, and ROLLING ELBOW! Scarlett loves it as Kross hoists Styles up, for an EXPLODER! Styles writhes and Kross watches him go to the far corner. Fans rally for Styles but Kross runs in, only to miss and get buckles! Styles DROPKICKS Kross, then brings him around for haymakers and CHOPS! Fans fire up, Styles fires off more shots in the corner, forearm and CHOP on repeat!

The ref backs styles off and Styles shouts, “I’ll eat him alive!” But Kross shoves Styles, only for styles to DROPKICK again! Styles whips, Kross reverses but he runs into an ELBOW! Kross comes back again but into a BOOT! Styles goes up and out, but Kross distracts the ref so Scarlett can anchor Styles’ foot! Styles kicks her away and fans boo Mrs. Doomsday, but Kross SUPERKICKS Styles! And then BOOTS him down! Fans boo but here comes MICHIN! Mia Yim isn’t gonna let Scarlett affect this! She chases Scarlett off, Kross is now upset, but things are going to be truly 1v1 now, after the break.

SmackDown returns again and Kross digs his boots into Styles at the corner! The ref counts, Kross lets off, and fans rally up for Styles. Kross stomps Styles, lets off at the ref’s count again, and soaks up the heat. Fans boo but Kross brings Styles up. Styles throws hands and CHOPS in return! And CHOPS again! Styles runs, but Kross ELBOWS him down! Kross smirks and shakes his head as he tells the fans it isn’t so easy. Cover, ONE!! Styles has fight in him but Kross clamps on a chinlock. Fans rally as Kross squeezes Styles’ head. Styles fights up, reaches out, but throws body shots. Styles gets free and throws haymakers, a CHOP and an ENZIGURI!

Kross staggers away to a corner and fans rally again. Styles stands, runs in, and clotheslines! Then a fireman’s carry, but Kross fights free. Styles dodges to PELE! Kross falls over, Styles gets moving, SLIDING FOREARM! Fans fire up, Styles fireman’s carries again, USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! Kross is hanging tough but Styles keeps his focus. Styles brings Kross to the corner, climbs up and brings Kross in, but Kross denies the tornado DDT! And makes it a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Roll through, to a FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Kross grows frustrated but he tells Styles, “Okay then.”

Kross winds up his arm, Styles rises, KROSS- NO, Styles ducks the forearm to fire off the Phenomenal Blitz! Kross blocks the clothesline but Styles KICKS a leg! Kross wobbles, Styles mule kicks the leg out! Styles brings Kross in, fans fire up, but Kross pushes Styles away. Kross goes to a corner, Styles runs in but is put on the apron. Styles ROCKS Kross, fans fire up, and Styles springboards, PHENOMENAL FOREARM!! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall

A tough fight but Styles stops the doomsday clock from striking midnight on him! Will Styles become a phenomenal World Heavyweight Champion on the Night of Champions? Or will the new champion be The Visionary, the Revolutionary, Seth Freakin’ Rollins?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

Kayla Braxton catches Styles as he returns through gorilla. She congratulates him on the win here, but did this give him the momentum he’ll need to face Rollins for the World Heavyweight Championship? Styles says, “What’d Seth say? That he was invincible? He can be unstoppable? He can be Seth Freakin’ Rollins. But he can’t be phenomenal. am phenomenal. And I am gonna put a phenomenal beating on him tomorrow night, in route to becoming the first WWE World Heavyweight Champion.” Styles heads out, will he live up to that promise in just over 15 hours?

 

The Money in the Bank Qualifiers begin next week!

And SmackDown is already planning two big matches for it! First, Montez Ford and LA Knight look to see just who gets smoked as they go 1v1 for a spot in the Men’s MITB, while Lacey Evans makes her return to face Zelina Vega for a spot in the Women’s MITB! Will the Profits be up? Will La Muneca be ready to play?

 

Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens head to the ring!

Fans cheer for the Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions as they’re about to host a special edition of The Kevin Owens Show! What will they have to say to Roman Reigns & Solo Sikoa this close to their title match? We find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Kevin welcomes us back to the Kevin Owens Show! It has been awhile since Kevin said that, he likes it. Sami thought they were gonna say it together as the Kevin & Sami- Kevin shouts, “The Kevin & Sami Show!” Okay there it is. Fans cheer and Kevin says tomorrow at Night of Champions, they defend their tag titles against Solo Sikoa & Roman Reigns. Fans boo the Bloodline, but Kevin says before all that, there are some things they need to get off their chests. So without further ado, welcome their “guests” for tonight, Solo Sikoa & The Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns.

But of course Paul Heyman has to come out and make his introduction first. Kevin & Sami knew it’d come to this as Heyman shoulders the belts. Heyman says, “It amazes me how you still won’t get the plot around here. Your Tribal Chief does not come out when you want The Tribal Chief to come out.” The fans boo but Heyman says, “There’s no booing when The Wise Man has the microphone.” This just makes the fans boo more. Heyman frowns and continues by saying “Your Tribal Chief comes out when Your Tribal Chief decides he wants to come out.” But then the USOS appear?! That wasn’t part of the plan!

Jimmy & Jey storm out, mics of their own in hand. And they go to the ring ahead of Heyman! “Yeah, yeah! Look at ’em! Y’all out here talking like it’s all good! Like we went and forget what y’all did to us last week! Y’all so worried about tomorrow night, when real talk, you got a bigger problem standing right in the front of your face, Sami!” Sami smirks and says he has to be honest, he can’t believe they’re out here. Kevin wants Sami to calm down because he’ll handle this. Kevin tells The Usos and Heyman that as a “spoiler,” Kevin knew Roman wouldn’t come out. Because the Usos are the ones Kevin wanted to really talk to.

Kevin says that for months now, Sami has been telling Kevin they needed to help the Usos. Kevin didn’t get it, he said who cares? After everything they’ve done to each other back and forth, Sami still thinks The Usos deserve better, but Kevin again couldn’t care less. But since Sami’s been saying this for months and it hasn’t gotten through to the Usos, maybe if Kevin says it, they’ll hear it. Kevin wants them to acknowledge this: Sami has been right about everything the whole time. Fans cheer that! Sami’s been right about how Roman treats the Bloodline, and how the Usos deserve better.

“Because y’know what? Roman Reigns, this narcissistic, delusional, just… Ugh! He walks around here, calls himself ‘The Head of the Table,’ right? Well as far as I’m concerned, he can call himself The Head of the Table all he wants, I’m looking at the Heart of that Table right in front of me!” The fans cheer that, too! Kevin asks the Usos what they think The Bloodline would be without them. But that’s not how Roman treats them, right? He treats them like they’re the Appendix of the Table, disposable, unnecessary. Just look at them! Roman USES the Usos! The Usos don’t do anything unless Roman tells them to! They know it’s the truth, right?

What do the Usos think when they look in the mirrors? What goes through their heads? What do they feel when they realize they went from being one of the greatest- no, scratch that, from being THE GREATEST tag team in the history of the WWE, to being nothing more than Roman Reigns’ little errand boys!? The Usos get riled up and Jimmy says that’s cute, KO. Check this out, Sami, open up your years. Standing right in front of you is the best damn tag team in the WORLD! So when it comes to the Usos, when it comes to the Day Ones, hey, JIMMY IS THE TRIBAL CHIEF! Whoa…!! Heyman is shocked by that!

But speaking of, here comes Roman Reigns!! Heyman seems to fear what is about to happen as Roman Reigns heads down the ramp and to the ring. The Usos look like they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar, or whatever snack and container kids have today. Roman takes the mics from them and throws them aside. Fans chant “YOU SUCK!” at Roman but Sami tells Roman, “You know it’s over, right? You know that, right? You know the Bloodline is collapsing, and it’s all your fault.” Roman SLAPS the mic out of Sami’s hand! But then Kevin hits a STUNNER!! The brawl is on with the Usos!

Fans are thunderous as Sami throws hand with Jey, and then Kevin drags Jimmy out to SMACK him off the desk! Jey SUPERKICKS Sami, Kevin rains down fists on Jimmy! Jey sets Sami up again, but Sami hits a CORNER EXPLODER! But Solo Sikoa SAMOAN SPIKES Sami! Kevin runs in, but Solo SAMOAN SPIKES him, too!! The Enforcer of The Island is here and Roman shouts, “PICK ‘EM UP!!” Solo drags Sami up while Roman SMASHES an armchair, another armchair, and then lets out the battle cry. SPEAR!!! Fans boo as The Bloodline stands tall, but is it even really “The Bloodline” anymore?

The Usos grab the tag titles and pick them up, but then Roman stares at them. Jey offers belts to Solo, but what about Jimmy? Jimmy looks at the belts, then looks at Roman. Fans say “NO! NO! NO!” and Jimmy is hesitant. Roman tells him to hand them over, and Heyman encourages him to, but then Jey has Jimmy step back. Jey wants to hand them over? Jimmy doesn’t let go, at first. Jey then presents Roman with the belts and fans boo. Roman and Solo stand side by side and raise the belts, the Usos behind them. Only Jey puts up the finger, though. Forget Kevin & Sami, is the Bloodline going to survive the Night of Champions?


My Thoughts:

This was still a very Go Home Syndrome go-home episode, with video recap packages I didn’t bother getting, as well as video hype packages for the NXT call-ups I also didn’t bother getting. But everything new was great stuff, such as the United States Championship match opening the night. I should’ve known Theory would survive through shenanigans, though, and who else but Pretty Deadly would bring shenanigans? I would love for a Six Man Tag of The Brawling Brutes VS Theory & Pretty Deadly. Awesome tag team match from Raquel & Shotzi VS DMG CTRL, and good win for Shotzi & Raquel here as I don’t think they’re winning on Raw anyway with Ronda & Shayna in there.

Really good but fairly quick match from Grimes VS Adonis, and of course Grimes wins, but also of course Baron Corbin attacks Grimes after. I hope Corbin VS Grimes is a MITB qualifier like Ford VS Knight and Lacey VS Zelina next week. Or if not, that they’re both in the match so they can have it out as part of MITB. Speaking of Ford and Knight, Knight VS Boogs was rather quick in a disappointing way. But Knight cuts a good promo after the match, and Ford VS Knight is going to be great. Lacey Evans making her return for MITB is fine, since SmackDown just needs bodies for these qualifiers. But I would think Zelina wins here to help the LWO get something.

Good promo from Bianca, and of course Asuka attacks again. I don’t know how this really affects the go home math, though, since Bianca’s finisher got foiled by refs and producers. But as with Rhea looking like the obvious choice, I would think Bianca finds a way to beat Asuka again, and then they finally do something about Rhea and Bianca having the titles of the wrong shows. Honestly, with MITB coming up, find a way to have it be Rhea VS Bianca in what is meant to be a unification match, but then maybe Miss MITB cashes in on one of them and tada, that person is on the “right” brand with the “right” belt.

Styles VS Kross was really good, but felt truncated for what we know these two can do. Styles of course wins to have momentum, and his promo after was good, but this still has to be Rollins winning at Night of Champions, right? I’ve said it a few times already during this WHC Tournament arc that a Raw superstar (or an unattached SmackDown superstar) has to win because Roman is Universal Champion here on SmackDown.

And speaking of Roman, The Bloodline story is once again the best thing of the night. Great promo in the private suite with Roman being passive aggressive towards Jimmy, which then makes Jimmy slightly less passive and slightly more aggressive in his promo at the end there. I loved every second of that reaction from Heyman and Roman. Great brawl that of course The Bloodline stands tall in, but even the Usos handing the belts over was a great bit to add further tension. The Usos better cost Roman & Solo, it’s the only logical move. At this point, it almost feels like Jimmy and Jey are gonna fight each other since one is resisting Roman and the other is still falling in line.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/4/23)

YEET!

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Main Event Jey goes for gold!

While Drew McIntyre wants the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, it’s Jey Uso who gets his shot at Seth Rollins tonight on Monday Night Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Drew McIntyre VS Sami Zayn; wins.
  • The Creed Brothers w/ Ivy Nile VS JD McDonagh & Dominik Mysterio w/ Rhea Ripley; win.
  • Shayna Baszler VS Nia Jax; wins.
  • Best 2 Out of 3 Falls: #DIY VS Imperium; wins.
  • Natalya & Tegan Nox VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance; win.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Shinsuke Nakamura; wins.
  • WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins VS Jey Uso; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Warrior is ready to tear it all down, all because he didn’t get another title match with Seth Rollins when he wanted. But before he tears into Sami Zayn, McIntyres the mic to say, “It’s been awhile since I’ve done this, but welcome everybody to Monday Night Raw!” Fans cheer that! And McIntyre says Raw is the land where it feels like everyone’s lost their minds lately! “Liars, hypocrites, cowards, just plain idiots. Apparently, you can get fired, released, leave, do what you want for a bunch of time, come back, and you’re instantly forgiven these days!” Fans chant “CM PUNK!” but McIntyre says he could be talking about anyone.

Now, Rollins tried to pull a fast one on McIntyre. Rollins could’ve given the match to anyone, but McIntyre beat Jey Uso weeks ago. So Rollins sticks it to McIntyre, slaps him metaphorically, so he headbutts Rollins in his stupid face. And speaking of Jey, O M G, Jey can apologize! He ran to Randy Orton, tail between his legs, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Randy!” Well Jey, your time’s coming. And there’s someone McIntyre is forgetting. Oh, right! Sami Zayn! And wouldn’t you know? Here comes Sami! Fans cheer and sing Sami’s song as he makes his way to the ring, a mic of his in hand. The fans then chant for ‘SAMI! SAMI!” as he sits up top.

Sami tells McIntyre, he clearly has a lot to say about everybody, including Sami, so he may as well say it to Sami’s face. Oh, yes, McIntyre sure does. Last week, Sami wanted to say how alike they are, but they are not. McIntyre has something to say to Sami and it is the truth: Sami is the one person in the world who deserved to get screwed over by The Bloodline. The fans boo but McIntyre says he will explain. Sami was the Bloodline’s lapdog errand boy, he joined them because he was running away from McIntyre, and then what? Sami screwed Bloodline over! What did Sami think was gonna happen to him? Isn’t Sami supposed to be smart?

McIntyre says Sami deserved what he got, it’s the truth. Sami says McIntyre is right about one thing: Sami was wrong. Sami thought they were alike but the more Sami is seeing, the more “truth” he’s hearing, Sami realizes they are NOT anything alike! Sami is not a delusional person. He isn’t someone who points a finger at everyone else for his own shortcomings. And big difference here: When Sami lost in front of his family and let everyone down, he stayed hungry, driven and motivated and that carried him to victory in the main event of WrestleMania! Fans fire up for that! So Sami got his redemption. Sami got to make his family proud. Does McIntyre think he’s making his family proud?

McIntyre glares at Sami, and then says one of them is NOT walking out of here. Get a ref and ring the bell! Fans fire up as we get their match now! Will McIntyre absolutely explode after Sami set him off?

Drew McIntyre VS Sami Zayn!

The bell rings and fans are behind Sami in this one. Sami and McIntyre circle, then McIntyre RAMS Sami into a corner! And OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes! McIntyre asks if it was a good idea to talk bad now. McIntyre ROCKS and DECKS Sami, then stalks him. Fans rally with “Let’s Go, Sami!” as he bails out. McIntyre pursues, and SMACKS him off the apron! McIntyre scoops Sami, but Sami slips free to POST McIntyre! Sami aims at the apron, McIntyre body shots and SMACKS Sami off the apron! McIntyre puts Sami in but Sami builds speed to FLY! Direct hit and down goes McIntyre! Fans fire up with Sami as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and fans rally as McIntyre has Sami in a motorcycle stretch. But Sami flips then BOOTS McIntyre away! But McIntyre CHOPS Sami back! Sami bails out, McIntyre pursues, but Sami kicks and CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Sami throws hands, whips, but McIntyre reverses. Sami goes up the barriers to QUEBRADA! Down goes McIntyre again and fans fire back up! The ring count climbs, the fans fire up with Sami, and Sami brings McIntyre around to put him in at 7 of 10. Sami slides in, but McIntyre LARIATS Sami back down! McIntyre seethes while fans boo, and McIntyre throws fists down on Sami!

Fans rally even harder for Sami and Sami sits up. McIntyre drags Sami up, to CHOP! Sami flops right back down, McIntyre grins, and he drags Sami up. McIntyre CHOPS and Sami wobbles around! Sami shakes his head, grits his teeth, and CHOPS in return! And CHOPS! McIntyre CHOPS and Sami falls over! McIntyre stomps Sami, smother shim, then stomps his head again! McIntyre stomps Sami’s leg, then stomps the other leg! McIntyre paces around Sami, waits on Sami to get up, and Sami goes to a corner. McIntyre runs in but Sami ELBOWS him away! Sami goes up, McIntyre runs in but into a BOOT!

Sami leaps, AX HANDLE! Sami fires up with the fans, he kicks McIntyre and reels him in, but McIntyre is a little too big to suplex! McIntyre suplexes, Sami slips free, then he lures McIntyre into the corner to POST him! Sami kicks and reels McIntyre in, to SUPLEX! Fans fire up while both men are down! Sami clutches the ankle, but he stands up to fire off haymakers! Sami whips, McIntyre reverses but Sami ducks ‘n ‘ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre survives and Sami is stunned! Sami hurries to the apron while fans fire up! Sami climbs, leaps, but into an OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! And then another OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY!

McIntyre hits a NECKBREAKER, then kips up! Fans are torn as McIntyre shakes the ropes. But then Sami clotheslines him up and out! Sami aims, and PLANCHAS! McIntyre catches him! And SLINGS him over the desk! Fans lose their minds and McIntyre seethes as Raw goes to break.

 


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Mitchell’s NJPW World Tag League Results & Report! (12/4/23)

B Block, round 6!

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Sure #EverybodyDies, but who will tranquilo?

The World Tag League round robin is almost over, and B Block is looking saucy! Will Lance Archer & Alex Zayne burn Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • BUSHI & Shingo Takagi VS SHO & Yoshinobu Kanemaru; win.
  • Six Man Tag: Kaito Kiyomiya, Ryohei Oiwa & Oskar Leube VS The Gates of Agony & Boltin Oleg; win.
  • Six Man Tag: Toru Yano, Tomohiro Ishii & Tomoaki Honma VS The United Empire; win(s).
  • Six Man Tag: Shota Umino, Ren Narita & Ryusuke Taguchi VS The House of Torture; win(s).
  • Six Man Tag: TMDK VS Bullet Club; wins.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: Taichi & Yuya Uemura VS Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza; Fale & Bonza win.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo VS Atlantis Jr. & Soberano Jr; ELP & Leo win.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: Bishamon VS Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki; Bishamon wins.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: Lance Archer & Alex Zayne VS Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr; Tsuji & Zando win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current B Block standings.

Alex Zayne & Lance Archer: 4-1, 8 points
Taichi & Yuya Uemura: 4-1, 8 points
ELP & Hikuleo: 3-2, 6 points
Bishamon: 2-2-1, 5 points
Atlantis Jr. y Soberano Jr: 2-2-1, 5 points
Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr: 2-3, 4 points
Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki: 1-4, 2 points
Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza: 1-4, 2 points

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: Taichi & Yuya Uemura VS Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza!

The Holy Emperor & Heat Storm are just outside the top after their loss to Monster Sauce, but that’s way better than being at the bottom like the Rogue Army. But can Fale & Bonza ruin things for Taichi & Yuya? Or will B Block belong to Just5Guys?

The teams sort out and Yuya starts against Bonza. The fans rally up as the bell rings and the two stare down. They circle, tie up, and Bonza wrenches to hammerlock then waistlock. Yuya switches to then hammerlock, but Bonza switches the hammerlock back. Yuya reaches back, sits down, rolls and wrenches to a wristlock. Bonza spins, breaks free and pie faces Yuya! Yuya keeps cool, and he resets with Bonza. They tie up, but Bonza kicks low! Bonza runs, runs Yuya over, and says he’s pathetic! Bonza runs, Yuya stays low to then hurdle, and then he hip tosses Bonza down! Yuya scoops and SLAMS Bonza, then arm-drags him!

Fans fire up as Yuya has the armlock, but Fale runs in to throw body shots and scoop! Yuya slips free, but Fale’s too big for an arm-drag! Fale scoops again, and SLAMS Yuya! Then Fale DECKS Taichi for the hell of it! Bonza stomps Yuya around, brings him up, and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Fale and the Rogue Army mugs Yuya. Fale brings Yuya around to CLUB him down, then looms over him. Fans rally but Fale stands on Yuya! Fale goes surfing on the Heat Storm! Fale steps off, covers, TWO! Fans cheer but Fale tags Bonza. Bonza storms up on Yuya, drags him around, and then he goes surfing!

Bonza lets off to then drop an elbow! And then springboard stomp! Yuya sputters, Bonza drags him back up but Taichi rallies the fans. Yuya CHOPS Bonza, ROCKS Fale, repeat! Bonza ROCKS Yuya! Bonza bumps Yuya off buckles, whips him corner to corner, then runs in to elbow! Bonza keeps moving, but Yuya DROPKICKS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Yuya crawls, hot tag to Taichi! Taichi storms up to Kawada Kick! Bonza says F U and ROCKS Taichi, but Taichi SOBATS back! Taichi tells Bonza off and BOOTS him in the corner! Fale runs in, but into a BOOT! Fale comes back, Taichi steps aside to GAMANGIRI!

Bonza kicks Taichi, whips him to a corner, but Taichi comes back to AX BOMBER! Fans fire up with Taichi, and OFF COME THE PANTS! Taichi then aims, but Bonza blocks the kick to ELBOW! Bonza whips, DISCUS LARIAT! Bonza fires up, he drags Taichi up, and he reels Taichi in to suplex! Taichi fights that off to suplex back! Bonza fights that off, they fight for suplex control, and fans rally up! In the end, Bonza gets Taichi up, but Taichi slips free! SAI- NO, Bonza fights with elbows! Bonza runs, into a RIDGE HAND! Taichi runs, but Bonza deflects the boot to hit a BIG back suplex! Tag to Fale and he storms up on Taichi.

Fale stomps Taichi, drags him up and CLUBS away on the back! Taichi falls over but Fale stalks him to the ropes. Fale drags Taichi up, but Taichi fights and wrenches to HOOK KICK! Fale runs up, into a clinch! Taichi is using sumo! Fale and Taichi hobble around, Fale tries to counter sumo with sumo! But Taichi still THROWS Fale!! Fans are thunderous and Taichi takes aim! BUZZSAW! Both men are down, fans rally up, hot tag to Yuya! Yuya roars, runs in and CHOPS Fale! Bonza runs in, but gets an arm-drag! And then a DROPKICK! Bonza bails out, Fale staggers up into a DROPKICK! He stays up, so Yuya DROPKICKS again!

Fale rebounds, into an ARM-DRAG!! The fans are thunderous and Yuya runs in at the corner. DOUBLE CHOP! Taichi adds a BOOT! Yuya runs in again, DROPKICK! Fale hobbles, Yuya pushes him out and goes up the corner! CROSSBODY! Down goes Fale! But Yuya isn’t done there! Yuya drags Fale up, wrenches and traps the arm, but Fale swings the other! Yuya catches it! But Fale’s too big for Kamuki! Fale TOSSES Yuya to a corner then SPLASHES! Fireman’s carry, but Yuya flails around! Sunset flip, but Fale stays up! So Taichi GAMANGIRIS him into it! High stack, TWO!! Fale escapes, but Yuya has an ARMBAR!!

Fans fire up as Fale endures! Fale fights around, but Yuya powers him down!! ARMBAR!! Fale flails and kicks around, reaches out, but Yuya shifts grip! Bonza sends Taichi into railing before he gets in, Fale has the ROPEBREAK! Bonza CLOBBERS Yuya for good measure! Fans fire up as Bonza BLASTS Taichi off the apron! Yuya CHOPS Bonza, CHOPS him again, and powers up, but Bonza dodges! Only for Yuya to catch the arms! But Bonza knees low! Yuya roars, but Bonza scoops him! BACKBREAKER to ELBOW DROP!! Cover, TAICHI BREAKS IT! Fans fire up but Bonza scoops Taichi! FIRE THUNDER DRIVER!!

Fale hoists Yuya up! Crucifix lift, for BAD LUCK FALL!!! Cover, Rogue Army wins!!

Winners: Bad Luke Fale & Jack Bonza, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Taichi & Yuya earn 0)

The Rogue General & Red Commander just brought down two of the five guys! Did they just blow up the chances of Taichi & Yuya going on to the semifinals? Or will luck be with J5G in the seventh?

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo w/ Jado VS Atlantis Jr. & Soberano Jr!

The NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Champions take on the NWA World Historic Light Heavyweight Champion and a former World Middleweight Champion, but both teams are on the bubble in this block. Who pops off and who drops off right before the end?

ELP tries to get the fans cheering Soberano but it takes a second to warm them up. The fans fire up and the sons of lucha appreciate it. “AT-LAN-TIS!” and “SOBER-RA-NO!” then return the favor helping in a “HI-KU-LEO~!” chant. They all shake hands and high-five, and then the teams sort out. ELP starts against Soberano and fans rally up. The two wind up, and shake hands! Fans cheer and the two circle. They tie up, ELP headlocks, but Soberano powers up and out to then reel ELP back and run. ELP sidesteps, he avoids Soberano’s handspring, and fans cheer. Soberano flexes and fans cheer a little more.

ELP gives a mocking golf clap and then circles with Soberano again. Soberano headlocks, ELP throws body shots and powers out. Soberano runs ELP over, then things speed up. ELP hurdles but Soberano front flips! Fans fire up and Soberano looks off into the distance. Soberano then runs in, ELP dodges, Soberano RANAS but ELP handsprings through, then does his drop steps! Fans cheer as ELP flexes and kisses the biceps. ELP gives Soberano a push, Soberano pushes back. They start pushing a little harder, then things speed up again! Soberano ducks ‘n’ dodges and rolls off ELP’s back to then run and RANA!

ELP flounders out of the ring and Soberano builds speed! FOSBURY FLOP! Direct hit and fans fire up again! Soberano gets the fans rallying behind him then has the ref tranquilo. Soberano puts ELP in, then gets fans to actually chant for “PHAN-TAS-MO!” Soberano slides in, brings ELP around, and tags Atlantis. The luchadores mug ELP, and the fans still chant for “PHAN-TAS-MO!” but the luchadores double whip to DOUBLE ELBOW! Then wheelbarrow and ENZUGIRI FACEBUSTER COMBO! Cover, TWO! Atlantis keeps cool as he stomps ELP around. Atlantis drags ELP up, keeps him from Leo, and CLUBS away!

Atlantis suplexes but ELP blocks! ELP tries to suplex but Atlantis blocks! ELP RAMS Atlantis into the corner, CHOPS him, then tags Leo. ELP CHOPS again, then hushes the fans. Leo swings, Atlantis dodges to CHOP them in return! CHOP after CHOP then Atlantis runs, ducks ELP’s hurdle but ends up right in Leo’s DDT! Cover, TWO! Leo drags Atlantis up but Atlantis throws forearms and CHOPS! Leo CHOPS right back! Leo then fireman’s carries, but Atlantis fights free! Atlantis dodges the chop, tries to whip but Leo blocks and reverses! Leo runs in, Atlantis dodges and Leo’s boot gets stuck on the ropes! Atlantis dropkicks that leg!

Leo hobbles and Atlantis keeps moving, Atlantis dropkicks the legs out! Fans fire up as Atlantis stomps Leo’s leg, then SPLASHES down on a knee! Atlantis stomps the leg some more, but Jado & ELP coach Leo. Leo CHOPS Atlantis, but Atlantis stomps him down. Atlantis has the leg and works to turn Leo over! HALF CRAB! Leo endures and fans rally up! Leo fights his way over, ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Atlantis lets go at 4, and Leo clutches his knee. Atlantis eggs Leo on, Soberano tags in, and they both taunt Leo to go taunt ELP. Leo crawls over, but then the luchadores bring Leo away. “Chotto matte ne!”

Fans applaud as the Mexican luchadores know some Japanese. Then they get LEo’s hands, bend the fingers, and then Soberano BOOTS Leo down! ELP protests, the ref reprimands, but Soberano BITES Leo’s foot! Soberano keeps Leo from ropes with a chinlock, then he and Atlantis get Leo up again. They double whip Leo to a corner, Atlantis runs in but is put on the apron. Leo DECKS Atlantis, and he catches Soberano’s splash! Soberano BELL CLAPS then BOOTS Leo! Soberano taunts ELP by blowing a kiss, then he goes back for Leo. Atlantis returns, they double whip but Leo breaks the line to DOUBLE LARIAT!

Fans fire up and Leo crawls, hot tag to ELP! ELP grins as he runs up to BOOT Soberano! Mule kick for Atlantis! Atomic drop for Soberano! ELP mocks Soberano’s pain, then he atomic drops Atlantis, into a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! ELP clotheslines Soberano up and out, but Atlantis kicks him low! Atlantis whips ELP to the corner but ELP goes up and over then springboards to CROSSBODY! Somersault, LIONSAULT! Another somersault, to PLANCHA Soberano! Fans fire up with ELP and he goes back to the corner. ELP waits on Atlantis to rise up, then he springboards in, FLYING TORNADO DDT!

Fans fire up and ELP drags Atlantis to a cover, TWO! Atlantis survives and the fans rally up again. ELP fires up and Soberano coaches Atlantis. ELP drags Atlantis up, reels him in, tucks the arms, but Atlantis fights! Atlantis ROCKS ELP, ELP ROCKS Atlantis, they go forearm for forearm! ELP whips, Atlantis reverses and Soberano jumps in! Double hip toss into TU LO SABE! Cover, TWO! ELP survives and that surprises Atlantis. The fans rally, Soberano stalks ELP to a corner and eggs him on. ELP slaps Soberano, Soberano SLAPS ELP! Atlantis BOOTS Leo, ELP throws hands on Soberano, but Atlantis kicks ELP low.

Atlantis puts ELP up top, Soberano GAMANGIRIS! Then the sons of lucha vow to end this! They both climb up after ELP, CLUB away on him, and bring him up. But Leo gets in, TOWER OF DOOM!! Fans fire up for the double powerbomb double superplex combo! Leo drags Soberano up to POWERBOMB onto Atlantis! Fans fire up again as Leo helps ELP up! Leo scoops, but Atlantis slips free to shove Leo into ELP! Then Atlantis dodges Leo to SUPERKICK ELP! And DROPKICK Leo! Leo runs back in but Atlantis dumps him out! ELP runs in but Atlantis goes up and over, rolls and SPIN POWERSLAMS!

Fans fire up as Atlantis goes up a corner! But ELP hurries to GAMANGIRI! Soberano sneaks a tag! ELP goes up to the very top, brings Atlantis up with him, SUPER STEINER! ELP goes up but Soberano is there! He springboards up to SUPER SPANISH FLY!! Fans are thunderous with everyone down, and Soberano crawls to a cover! Leo breaks it! Fans fire up again and Atlantis regroups with Soberano. Leo UPPERCUTS Atlantis, choke grips each of them, meeting of the minds! But then the luchadores double basement dropkick the legs out! Fans rally for Leo but Soberano & Atlantis have him! DOUBLE-

NO, Leo fights the suplexes to UPPERCUT Soberano! Atlantis dodges the haymaker but not the BOOT! Leo aims at Soberano now, choke grip! GOD- FLIP! Soberano ENZIGURIS! Leo roars! Soberano SUPERKICKS! ELP SUDDEN DEATH!! Fans fire up with ELP and he DIVES to take out Atlantis! Leo hits GODSEND!! ELP returns, he goes up, SUPER THUNDERKISS 86!!! Cover, ELP & Leo win!

Winners: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Atlantis & Soberano earn 0)

The sons of lucha are eclipsed by the Guerrillas of Destiny! Will the “Big Blue Sexy Boys” still have a fighting chance of entering the semifinals?

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: Bishamon VS Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki!

Hirooki Goto & Yoshi-Hashi vow to break the curse that keeps IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions from winning the league! Will they pull it off? Or will Blue Justice & The Meanest Man in the World not only stop Bishamon, but get golden tickets at the same time?

The teams sort out and Suzuki stares Hashi down. Fans rally up and the two start. They circle, feel things out, and knuckle lock. But then Suzuki kicks one, wrenches the other to a hammerlock, but Hashi switches the hold onto Suzuki. Suzuki reaches back to cording hold and chinbar Hashi to ropes. The ref counts and Suzuki lets off slowly, then with strong pats on the shoulder. Fans cheer and Hashi keeps cool as the two reset. They step up, and Hashi fires a forearm! Suzuki fires back! They go back and forth and the fans rally as they pick up speed! Suzuki ROCKS Hashi, ROCKS him again, but Hashi comes back to CHOP!

Suzuki eggs Hashi on so Hashi CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Hashi CHOPS more and more but Suzuki stays standing on sheer anger! Hashi drags Suzuki over, tags Goto, and Bishamon double whip to then double shoulder tackle! Hashi BLASTS Nagata for good measure, then Goto stomps Suzuki. Goto drags Suzuki up, CLUBS him, then whips. Suzuki reverses to then headlock, but Goto powers out. Suzuki pulls hair to HEADBUTT! Suzuki CLUBS Goto down and Goto bails out! Nagata runs in to BLAST Hashi as payback, and then the murder grandpas go out after them! Suzuki whips Goto into railing, then brings him around while Nagata sends Hashi hard into railing!

Suzuki RAMS Goto into railing in front of commentary, then has a railing crossface! The ref reprimands, Suzuki lets off of Goto, but Nagata POSTS Hashi! Suzuki stomps Goto around, the ring count starts, and Suzuki stomps Goto again before sliding in. The count reaches 7 of 20, then 10 as Goto crawls. Goto clutches his neck, the count is 15! Goto stands at 17, and slides in at 19! Fans cheer but Suzuki clamps onto Goto with a camel clutch! Goto endures, Suzuki shifts to bring him up for a facelock. Nagata tags in and he CLUBS Goto on the neck! And CLUBS him again! Nagata wraps on a chinlock to grind Goto down!

Hashi coaches Goto as he fights around, and Goto gets the ROPEBREAK! Nagata lets go, to KICK Goto in the back! Nata then drags Goto up with a facelock and tags Suzuki. Suzuki snapmares Goto to KICK him! And then Suzuki pulls at the tape around the neck and shoulders! The ref reprimands but there’s nothing he can really do! Suzuki reels Goto in but Goto resists the Gotch lift! Suzuki powers up but Goto still fights. Suzuki CLUBS Goto, tags Nagata, and Nagata BOOTS Hashi down! Nagata KICKS Goto in the chest, then KICKS him again! Goto grits his teeth, Nagata eggs him on, but Goto blocks the next kick!

Goto CLUBS the leg, but Nagata ROCKS Goto with a forearm! Nagata whips, Goto reverses, but Nagata BOOTS back! Nagata runs, Goto follows to LARIAT! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Goto and Nagata crawl, hot tag to Hashi! Hashi runs to run Nagata over! Hashi BLASTS Suzuki off the apron and fans fire up as Hashi ROCKS, body shots and CHOPS! Then he fires off forearms over and over in the corner! Nagata sits down and Hashi keeps going! The ref reprimands, the fans fire up, and Hashi lets off to bring Nagata back up. Nagata shoves Hashi so Hashi eggs him on. The forearms go back and forth now!

Hashi gets the edge with forearms, then CHOPS Nagata back to the corner. Hashi whips corner to corner, Nagata reverses, but Hashi comes back to LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally again and Hashi fires up. Hashi reels Nagata in, suplexes, but Nagata fights it to suplex, and MAGIC SCREW! Hashi flounders, Nagata stands, and Nagata stomps Hashi. Nagata ROCKS Hashi, whips him to ropes, but Hashi holds ropes. Goto tags in, Hashi sidesteps Nagata and Goto ROCKS him! Hashi CHOPS Nagata down, then he BLASTS Suzuki. Hashi hauls Nagata up, turns him, and Goto adds on, HEAD BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Nagata hangs in there.

Bishamon set up in opposite corners, and they aim at Nagata. But Suzuki pushes Nagata to save him from the DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH! Hashi CHOPS, Goto CLUBS and then GOTO GO TO HUNTER! Bishamon have Nagata in a corner, Goto clotheslines! Hashi clotheslines! Feed to the fireman’s carry, FIERCE FLASH! Cover, TWO! Nagata survives and fans rally up again! Goto hauls Nagata up, Hashi calls the shot! Dragon sleeper and leg lift, but Suzuki catches Hashi to a SLEEPER! Nagata drags Goto down into a CROSSFACE! Goto endures, Hashi is turning red! Fans rally up as Goto fights his way around!

Goto reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer, and Suzuki sends Goto to a corner! Suzuki BOOTS! Nagata BOOTS! Snapmare, DOUBLE PENALTY KICK SANDWICH! Then EXPLODER!! Cover, TWO!! Goto survives and fans fire up again! Nagata drags Goto up, but Goto fights the saido with elbows! Nagata knees low, and again, then CLUBS Goto’s neck! Goto falls and writhes, but Nagata drags him back up! Suzuki keeps Hashi out with an ANKLE LOCK, as Nagata SAI- NO, Goto fights free! Hashi also gets free, to SUPERKICK Nagata! Goto has a SLEEPER, then rolls it to GOTO NISHIKI!! Cover, Bishamon wins!!

Winners: Bishamon, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Nagata & Suzuki earn 0)

The murder grandpas almost had it, but Goto finds a way to survive! Does this mean the Fierce Warrior & Headhunter have a chance to #GetBackUp to the WTL finals after all?

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: Lance Archer & Alex Zayne VS Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr!

The Monster Sauce is leading the way but they have to finish strong! Will they stay hot going into the seventh and final round? Or will they be sunk by The Gene Blast & King of the World?

Wait, Tetsuya Naito is coming out here? What a great surprise! It sure takes Shingo Takagi by surprise as he’s been on commentary this entire time. Naito joins commentary, even! And he puts his feet up on top of Milano Collection AT’s notes. He makes Milano hold the Right to Challenge bag while he puts his headset on. Monster Sauce then makes their entrance, and Archer suckers a Young Lion in by offering a high-five to then DECK him! He pats another on the shoulder, assuring him it’s fine. Then he RAMS him into railing! Zayne apologizes to each Young Lion in turn, it’s nothing personal. Archer and Zayne then have Red Shoes and Abe-san put on the jackets to see how they look.

Zando and Tsuji make their entrances, the teams sort out, and Archer says that smile of Tsuji’s is gonna be missing some teeth soon. However, Zayne and Zando step up to start and the fans rally up with the bell. They circle, tie up, and Zando powers Zayne to ropes. Zando lets off, fakes the chop, and tells Zayne to take it easy. Zayne and Zando reset and fans rally again. They tie up, Zayne puts Zando on ropes now, and Zayne fakes the chop to twirl his hair. Fans cheer and Zando smirks. The two reset again, tie up again, and Zando headlocks. Zayne wrenches out, but Zando wrenches back to wristlock.

Zayne rolls, handsprings, wrenches and wristlocks, but Zando spins, CHOPS, and whips Zayne to a corner. Zayne reverses, runs in and back elbows! Zayne slips out to the apron and slingshot RANAS! Things keep moving, Zayne ducks ‘n’ dodges and IMPLODER KNEE DROPS down on Zando’s dropdown! Zayne then rolls to STANDING MARIPOSA! Fans fire up and Zayne smirks as he twirls his hair again. Zayne stands Zando up, Zando throws hands but Zayne bobs ‘n’ weaves to body blow! Zayne runs, but Tsuji kicks him! Zayne swings on Tsuji, but Zando reels him in, chicken wings and DODON DROP!

Archer runs in to kick Zando low! Archer reels Zando in to CLUB him, then he runs. Tsuji trips Archer, Zando basement dropkicks! Tsuji then drags Archer out to RAM him into railing! Fans fire up with Zando, and Tsuji sends Archer into more railing! Zando TOSSES Zayne out of the ring, Tsuji fires off on Archer, then CHOPS him! Tsuji holds Archer out along railing, Zando runs in, LEAP FROG ATTACK! Fans fire up while Archer falls over! Tsuji finds Zayne and stomps him, to then put him in the ring for Zando. Zando storms up, drags Zayne up and has him on ropes. Zando lifts Zayne up and Tsuji runs, to LEAP FROG ATTACK!

Zayne flops over, fans rally up, and Zando tags Tsuji. Zando & Tsuij drag Zayne up to double whip. Archer returns, Red Shoes keeps him back, Zayne ends up in the POP-UP KICK! Zando & Tsuji run, basement dropkick sandwich! Fans cheer but Red Shoes reprimands. Zando exits, Tsuji digs his knees into Zayne at the ropes before a knee drop! Tsuji drags Zayne up while Archer and Zando shout at each other. Tsuji whips Zayne but reverses direction to send him into the red corner! Tsuji stomps Zayne, Zando CLUBS him, and then Zando tags in. Zando snapmares Zayne to a seated abdominal stretch! Zayne endures and the fans rally up.

Zayne reaches out, but then reaches up to drag Zando into a cradle! TWO, and Zando stomps away! Zando hits Archer, then laughs as he gets away. Zando drags Zayne back, CLUBS him, then grabs a leg. Zando steps over, then clinches, modified cobra twist! Zayne endures, hops on his one free leg, and fans rally up! Zayne reaches out, hot tag- NO, Tsuji drags Archer down and RAMS him into railing right in front of commentary! Zando wrangles Zayne to a cover, TWO! Fans cheer and Zando drags Zayne up. Zando wrenches, wristlocks, then he tags Tsuji. Tsuji BOOTS Zayne’s arm, then brings him around to ROCK with a forearm!

Fans rally up, Zayne ROCKS Tsuji back! And CHOPS! And ROCKS him again! Tsuji knees low, then wags his finger. Tsuji swings, Zayne counter punches! And again! Tsuji runs in, Zayne gets around, roll up and EDDY GORDO KICK! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Tsuji and Zayne crawl, hot tag to Archer! Archer storms around, fires up, and BLASTS Zando! It was a fake out at first, but now he runs to ELBOW Tsuji! “Ichi!” Archer keeps moving, and ELBOWS! “Ni!” Zayne runs in, tilt-o-whirl RANA CANNONBALL! But Zando SUPERKICKS Zayne! Archer CHOPS Zando but Zando just fires up!

Zando CHOPS Archer, and Archer just smiles! Archer CHOPS back! Archer eggs Zando on so Zando CHOPS! Archer CHOPS, eggs Zando on, and fans fire up as Zando CHOPS again! They CHOP back and forth, faster and faster! Archer CHOPS Zando down! Fans fire up with the Murderhawk and he storms up. Zando swings, but into a full nelson that Archer makes into a dragon sleeper. Tsuji runs in, but gets caught! URENAGE REVERSE DDT COMBO! Archer then drags Tsuji up, shoves him to a corner, and DOUBLE CHOPS! Zayne then LEAP FROG MISSILE DROPKICKS! Archer suplexes Tsuji! Then CHOKE SLAM SAULT! Cover, TWO!!

Tsuji survives and fans fire up but Archer fires himself back up. Tag to Zayne, he goes up, but Zando GAMANGIRIS! Archer grabs Zando, but Tsuji DUMPS Archer! Tsuji then rushes the corner, but Zayne jumps and over! Zayne comes back but Tsuji BOOTS him! Tsuji goes up, but Zayne returns, NO HANDS STEINER! Fans fire up as Zando hurries in. Zayne dodges the chop but Zando blocks the chip to CHOP after all! Zando suplexes, Zayne slips free to shove, but Zando blocks the kick! Zando ducks the enziguri, wheelbarrow GERMAN SUPLEX! Archer BOOTS Zando, ripcords, and HELLICOASTERS! Fans fire up with Archer again!

Archer hauls Zando back up, reels him in, but Tsuji saves Zando from the suplex! Tsuji & Zando mug Archer, then go to double suplex! Archer fights it, he wants to double suplex, but they fight it! Zando & Tsuji try again, DOUBLE SUPLEX! All four men are down and the fans fire up again! Zando stirs, flounders out of the ring, and Tsuji rises. Tsuji tags Zando in, they get Zayne up. They double whip, hip toss and SLAM! Then SPLASH, to LIONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Zayne hangs in there and Zando pounds the mat in frustration. The fans clap along, Tsuji & Zando get Zayne up, ANCHOR!! Cover, TWO!! Zayne survives and fans fire up again!

Zando pounds the mat some more and the fans clap along again. Tag to Tsuji, and he climbs up onto Zando’s shoulders! But Archer caches Tsuji, to CHOKE SLAM him into Zando! Then Archer fireman’s carries, Zayne runs in, ROLLING NECKBREAKER SAMOAN DROP COMBO!! Cover, Zando breaks it! Fans fire up, Archer runs in, but he doesn’t fall for the dump trick. Archer CLOBBERS Zando against ropes, then clotheslines him up and out of the ring! Fans fire up with Archer again and Zayne pounds the mat. Archer hauls Tsuji up, sets him up for Zayne, ROLLING- NO, Tsuji avoids the ax kick! Then he dodges Archer, and now Zando dumps him out!

Zayne mule kicks Tsuji, runs, but into the GENE BLAST SPEAR!!! Cover, LIJ WINS!!

Winners: Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Archer & Zayne earn 0)

Monster Sauce drops, making the top of this block really interesting! If #EverybodyDies, are their chances at the finals in danger of dying off?

As for Tsuji & Zando, Tsuji gets the mic to say, “It looks like it’s someone’s birthday today.” It’s also someone in Los Ingobernables de Japon. “HIROMU-CHAN!” Oh wait, is he even here? Well, maybe Hiromu was too busy to be here, but Tsuji hopes tonight’s win is a good birthday gift. Fans applaud that, but then Tsuji says he also has some bad news. It would seem after tonight’s penultimate-penultimate results, there mathematically isn’t a chance for Tsuji & Zando to make it to the semifinals. He asks if that’s true or not. Even commentary has to check the math on that. So then, is there a chance?

Milano is sure it’s not zero percent. Really? Pretty sure. Then there IS a chance! The fans cheer and Tsuji says that even if it seems unlikely, should they win next round, Zandokan will be LIJ! Fans cheer for that, too! Tsuji then brings up that the other day, he talked with the others and hoped Takagi & Naito wouldn’t lose today. Takagi stands up from commentary to say that he does need to get better. Well, hey, tranquilo, right? Tsuji then lets Zando say a few words. “WATASHI WA…! ZANDOKAN JUNIOR!” AKA, he is Zandokan. Fans cheer the introduction, and then he says he’s a BIG DEAL! Fans also cheer that.

Zando then shouts in Spanish, Milano asks for a translation, but Tsuji asks if they’re ready for the tournament’s home stretch. Are you ready for him and Zando to do this? VAMOS, AMIGOS!! Fans cheer, but will Gene Blast & The King of The World really make it to the end?

 

Here are the NEW B Block standings!

Alex Zayne & Lance Archer: 4-2, 8 points
ELP & Hikuleo: 4-2, 8 points
Taichi & Yuya Uemura: 4-2, 8 points
Bishamon: 3-2-1, 7 points
Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr: 3-3, 6 points
Atlantis Jr. y Soberano Jr: 2-3-1, 5 points [ELIMINATED]
Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]


My Thoughts:

A great round, and now with some really complex stuff at the top of the block. Monster Sauce lost to go down to 4-2 so that they’d be tied with ELP & Leo and with Taichi & Yuya. Monster Sauce VS ELP & Leo is next, and so one team will go to 5-2 with 10 points, the other will be 4-3 with 8. This scenario alone seems to be creating confusion because while commentary was not prepared to speak on who is still in this, NJPW’s official website has determined Tsuji & Zando are out despite that great main event win. Even if Tsuji & Zando beat Atlantis & Soberano next round, they’ll get to 8 points, BUT they lost to Taichi & Yuya.

And even if Taichi & Yuya lose, they’d be losing to Bishamon, who would then stand at 9 points, making THEM second place flat out. And if Taichi & Yuya win, they are in as second place, not Bishamon. So despite the moment of cheers and hope at the end of that main event, Tsuji & Zando are really just fighting for pride and apparently for Zando to become Sanada’s replacement so that LIJ maintains six members. That’d be cool stuff, but I wonder if Atlantis & Soberano being CMLL like Zando is CMLL comes into play…

My Score: 8.8/10


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