Coming off a Slammiversary that delivered on emotion and storyline payoffs a bit more than in ring quality; you have to wonder how things are going to build from there. With another Multiverse, Emergence and Victory Road all on the schedule before Bound for Glory; one has to wonder how Josh Alexander gets back in the fold. Does he need to work his way through a couple of opponents? Does he slot right back in there since he never lost the belt?

Guess we’ll find out tonight!

.@The_Ace_Austin and @DashingChrisBey are done playing games with the Rascalz! Even @ScottDAmore had enough! Now, Trey and Wentz are out of the St Clair College! @swinger_johnny and @ZickyDice in a Loser LEAVES IMPACT Match? #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/8jOTUFFN9f

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 21, 2023

Ratings:

• The Good Hands vs Sami Callihan & Rich Swann: Swann wins via Assisted Razor’s Edge – * 1/2
• Jake Something vs Kevin Knight: Jake wins via Into the Void – ** 1/2 
• Courtney Rush w/JesSICKa vs Savannah Evans w/Giselle Shaw & Jai Vidal: Courtney wins via Spear – Worthless
• Dirty Dango vs Santino Marella: Dango wins via Interference Roll-Up – ** 1/2
• Tag Team Championship: The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) vs SUBculture (Flash Morgan Webster & Mark Andrews w/Dani Luna) (c): SUBculture retains via Endless Waltz – *** 1/4

Results:

The Good Hands vs Sami Callihan & Rich Swann

Well we all know this is a job match, but when the Good Hands interrupt D’Amore and try to give him a “receipt”, D’Amore makes a match instead. So we get to watch two morons get beat on for a few minutes.

Okay Good Hands actually turn around the early offense and start working over Swann. Callihan gets wiped out on the outside, a few tandem spots, Torture Rack Bomb into a Chaos Theory German Suplex and a Jacknife cover needs Callihan to break the pin.

But Swann finally manages to use the educated feet to make some space, tags in Callihan and it’s all over except for the crying. Tandem strikes into an Assisted Razor’s Edge for the win.

Jake Something vs Kevin Knight

Well we have to hope that Something gets on the winning side of his return. Because if he doesn’t win this, than I’m really curious why Jake came back. He’s got all the tools to be a money guy, push him.

Knight starts with the amusing size dispute spot of failing at Shoulder Tackles, but then he Leap Frogs Jake and thinks he’s outsmarted the big man. So Jake hits the ropes, runs over Knight a few times and when Knight tries to leap, Jake Chest Bumps him out of the sky and keeps manhandling Knight. Knight holds the ropes to stop the Irish Whip, Low Bridge, Okada heights Dropkick and Jake is finally off his feet on the outside.

Commercial break happens and we come back to Knight flying from the top rope on to Jake. Knight throws some of the worst Forearm strikes I’ve ever seen as Jake keeps goading him, then Knight finally kicks it into higher gear. But those first few strikes looked fake and stupid. Jake hits a desperation Spear to level Knight and get himself a breather. A small exchange leads to the corner, Jake gets rocked set on the top rope, Knight goes for an Avalanche Frankensteiner but Jake stops him and Avalanche Liger Bomb instead. Knight kicks out and we get another move exchange and counter.

Jake tries a Sky High, but Knight turns it into a Dropkick. Jake tries to throw Knight into the corner but Knight lands on the ropes and hits a Reverse Crossbody for 2. Flying Crossbody from Knight for another 2. Knight goes back to the well too many times, misses the Springboard and runs back into Jake’s arms for Into the Void.

Courtney Rush w/JesSICKa vs Savannah Evans w/Giselle Shaw & Jai Vidal

Courtney tries a few Shoulder Tackles and hurts herself on Savannah, but does the oldest trick in the book and hits her with the “look behind you”, and Savannah falls for it. I am so very…not interested in Courtney Rush. She’s just corny and boring, the Rosemary gimmick made her somewhat interesting. She just looks like a Hot Topic raver reject from 2004.

Jai gets involved a second time, Savannah crushes Courtney in the corner again, Jody Threat grabs Jai and steals him to the back which distracts Savannah…for no reason. So Courtney wins with a Spear after a stupid distraction that makes literally zero sense. I hated every second of this.

Dirty Dango vs Santino Marella

The Dirty Sanchez Dancing man against da Cobra! Ooohh…Santino even gets a slightly heavier more serious entrance song. I like it.

Dango tries to stay away from Santino, but Santino manages to get a Judo Throw and Dango powders immediately. Dango gets back in, Santino shoots the half, takes head control and then floats into a Triangle Armbar. Dango tries to fight through it and manages to barely get Santino to break with kicks to the back. But Marella takes Dango back down with a Butterfly Suplex. Dango retreats to the ropes, tries to stand up and Santino rolls through a leg pick into a Knee Bar, but Dango to the ropes again.

A cheapshot gives Dango a shot but then Marella dodges with a split and goes into some of his classic multiple Hip Toss spots. Dango powders to the apron again, Santino follows and Dango throats him on the ropes. Santino starts eating a bunch of offense after the shortcut gives Dango all the momentum. Santino has sold his back issues a few times when trying to counter.

Dango misses the Twisting Senton, Santino goes for the Cobra but a SWAT gear guy walks down and stops the Cobra. Dango shoves Santino in the helmet of the SWAT guy and pins Santino for the win. The mystery helper turns out to be John E. Bravo.

The battle between @TheEddieEdwards and @FrankieKazarian just EXPLODED backstage on #IMPACTonAXSTV! @TheTraciBrooks @MrsAIPAlisha #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/GgNilubTyp

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 21, 2023

Tag Team Championship: The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) vs SUBculture (Flash Morgan Webster & Mark Andrews w/Dani Luna) (c)

Chain wrestling start between Ace and Flash, where Flash manages to scissor the arms and get a unique pinfall attempt for the early near fall. They then continue Arm Wringers and World of Sport counters to chain wrestling. Ace tags out, Bey gets grabbed up by Flash, Flash tags Mandrews for the tandem move and then we see Mandrews and Bey with more Japanese Junior style than English. Bey clips him with a Dropkick and then a few tandem attacks keeps the momentum rolling for ABC. SUBculture manage to spin the momentum and a tandem Assisted Falcon Arrow put the momentum in the champions corner.

Northern Lights Suplex from Mandrews for 2, commercial break leads to SUBculture still in control. Ace slowly fights back and tags in Bey for the hot tag. Chaotic back and forth where Bey gets the best of Mandrews. Flash blind tag tries to swing things back but ABC has the answers. Triangle Kick + Blue Thunder Bomb tandem attack for a very close 2.9. Ace tries to isolate Flash, looking for the 1-2-SWEET but Mandrews Enzuigiri’s Ace, Flash drops Bey with a Headbutt. Blitzkrieg Bop, but Ace manages to break it up!

Chaos, pure chaos is what we’ve got here. Commercial break just has a lot of people down, Ace trying to sneak a win after a big kick, but to no avail. They go for the Blue Thunder, Triangle combo again, but interrupted, 1-2-SWEET interrupted with a big kneelift from Flash. Bey goes for something but Mandrews turns it into Stundog and both men are down. Rascalz interfere through the crowd after being kicked out earlier, a little more back and forth between Mandrews and Bey but locomotion Cradles goes the way of SUBculture.

Overall Score: 5.5/10

Well at least the tag match was fun and paid off the reason to sit and watch for two hours. Of course some of the lowlights in matches still moved potential stories along, but I don’t care about those stories honestly. The SHAWntourage haven’t won against anyone, so I’m really growing tired of Heel factions that just job and try to remain arrogant even though they lose to everyone. While I love Zachary Wentz and by proxy the Rascalz (I always enjoyed Dez aka Wes Lee as well), this was a little too color by numbers. I also really don’t care about John E. Bravo’s return or them keeping the whole Kaz family versus Edwards family drama. Just so many angles that suck right now.

Next week we have to look forward to Zicky or Swinger getting fired, Eric Young mixing it up with Nick Aldis and…hopefully something more interesting to sink our teeth into. Josh coming out and talking for the last 15 minutes saying exactly what everyone expected isn’t fun, Shelley doing the fighting champion response is also obvious…thankfully Lio Rush and Kushida come out to make the final segment a little more interesting. Then Bully Ray comes out, holds up 4 fingers and Moose and Myers hit the ring, Lio, Moose, Myers and Bully lay out the others but it doesn’t seem like Lio is totally invested with Bully Ray.

So yeah, boring and basic episode with a solid Tag Title match and a final segment that took too long to do anything. Very lame way to kick off the post-Slammiversary stories.