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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (8/4/23)

One last stop before SummerSlam!

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Who will be in pole position going into Motor City?

On the last SmackDown before SummerSlam, before their Triple Threat title match, Asuka, Charlotte Flair and Bianca Belair will all meet face to face to face! Will things stay civil before they battle to be WWE Women’s Champion?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • LA Knight VS Sheamus w/ The Brawling Brutes; Knight wins.
  • The Brawling Brutes VS The Good Brothers w/ Mia Yim; No Contest.
  • Austin Theory VS Cameron Grimes; Theory wins.
  • Iyo Sky VS Zelina Vega; Zelina wins.
  • Jey Uso VS Solo Sikoa w/ Paul Heyman; Jey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

LA Knight VS Sheamus w/ The Brawling Brutes!

The Mega Star and the Celtic Warrior fell short in the United States Championship Invitational, and that’s not insult, it’s just a fact of life! But then, before jumping into the Slim Jim Battle Royal at SummerSlam, whose game is it?

Knight of course gets the mic and he hears the fans all going wild for him! And of course, he says, “LEMME TALK TO YA!” SummerSlam weekend, biggest party of the Summer, right? “YEAH!” Knight then sees a 25 man battle royal, and Knight just thinks about all the different competitor that could be in it. The graphic goes up, it only shows nine (Knight, Sheamus, The Miz, AJ Styles, Santos Escobar, Matt Riddle, Shinsuke Nakamura, Grayson Waller and Karrion Kross), but Knight says it is a land of misfit toys, a group of stooges, and Knight takes pride in calling a stooge a stooge, ya stooge! YEAH!

But while any one of these men could win this, but then you see The Miz. What’s the matter? Isn’t that Mr. Must-See TV? NAH NAH! Someone told you the wrong damn story. Then there’s “that pasty goof,” Sheamus. Knight thinks about the business here tonight. Because while that “cross-eyed half wit” thinks he’s gonna walk down here… Don’t get Knight wrong, Sheamus has been a champion many times over. World champion, US champion. But they add one more achievement because he hasn’t been beat by the one and the only, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!!” With that, Sheamus makes his entrance, because it is FIGHT NIGHT!

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans are thunderous behind Knight but Sheamus just grins. Sheamus knees Knight low, soaks up the heat, and then he hits a headlock takeover. Knight headscissors, but Sheamus kips fere and headlocks. Knight powers out but Sheamus runs him over! Fans boo but Sheamus soaks it up more. The two reset, tie up, and Sheamus headlocks. Knight powers up and out, but Sheamus still runs him over! Things keep moving, Knight CLOBBERS Sheamus! Knight stalks Sheamus to a corner, stomps and fires off haymakers! Fans fire up, the ref counts, and Knight lets off at 4.

Sheamus CHOPS Knight, whips him to ropes, but Knight ducks ‘n’ dodges to CROSSBODY Sheamus and himself out to the floor! Fans fire up and the Brutes coach Sheamus up. But wait, here comes Santos Escobar? The Emperor of Lucha is going to be part of the battle royal, but then here come The Miz, and Grayson Waller! They want to watch this, too, as Knight puts Sheamus in. And then Kross and Scarlett show up! Sheamus ROCKS Knight, has him in the ropes, but Knight resists! Knight throws elbows, and now AJ Styles and Mia Yim are here! Knight RAMS into Sheamus, shovels him out to the apron, but runs into a fireman’s carry! APRON WHITE NOISE!!

Fans are torn, and even Waller is wincing from that impact. The Fella is in control as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sheamus has Knight down with the Dublin Grin! Knight endures the fishhooks, fights up, and fans rally. Knight throws elbows, REOKS Sheamus, then runs, into a scoop! Knight fights it to REVERSE DDT! Fans fire up and the others, acting almost like Lumberjacks here, are rallying with the fans. Sheamus stands, he drags Knight up, but Knight throws haymakers! Sheamus throws them back, and fans fire up, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” as Knight backs Sheamus down! Knight whips, Sheamus KICKS him, and then Sheamus runs, into a scoop! Knight POWERSLAMS Sheamus down!

Fans fire up as Knight grits his teeth. They spell it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Knight then torture racks, for a BURNING HAMMER! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives but Knight keeps his cool. Knight rises and the fans are behind him. Knight waits on Sheamus, then kicks low, but no BFT! Roll-up, TWO! Knight runs in, but into an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Knight goes to a corner, Sheamus stands and shakes out the cobwebs. Sheamus picks Knight up with a fireman’s carry, and now goes up the corner! Even Waller likes where this is going! SUPER WHITE NOISE!! Cover, TWO!! Knight still lives!

Fans fire up and Miz is getting into this. The Brutes coach Sheamus, Kross smirks, and Sheamus Alabama Lifts, but Knight sunset flips! Sheamus rolls through, gets the legs, CLOVERLEAF! Kross endures, he reaches out, claws his way over, and has the ROPEBREAK! The Brutes are frustrated on Sheamus’ behalf as he keeps on Knight. But Knight kicks at Sheamus, and kicks, and boots him away! Sheamus goes to a corner, Knight runs in, but into a BOOT! Sheamus then skins the cat to the top rope! Sheamus catches his breath, but Knight LEAPS right up! Knight has to steady himself, he and Sheamus end up falling to the floor!

Fans fire up, the Brutes and everyone else check on these guys. Dunne wants Miz and Waller to stay back, Kross dares Dunne to do something. Styles coaches Knight, then supports the Brutes. And then AUSTIN THEORY ATTACKS ESCOBAR! Everyone else rushes that way as Theory runs off. The Now is the one everyone really wants after, but tensions build and we have a brawl! Kross is after Ridge, Miz is with Styles, Dunne LEAPS onto Kross for a SLEEPER! Fans fire up as Styles adds a PHENOMENAL FOREARM on Kross! Miz BOOTS Ridge in the chaos! Sheamus is furious and he drags Miz up tot he apron!

Fans fire up as Sheamus gives Miz THE BEATS OF THE BODHRAIN!! Sheamus goes all the way to TEN, Knight rolls him up!! TWO!!! Sheamus runs in, BROGUE to Miz as Knight moves! B F T!! Cover, Knight wins!

Winner: LA Knight, by pinfall

Yes, it was chaotic, but now things spill over into the ring! Kross storms up but Knight TOSSES him out, a la a battle royal elimination! Waller runs in, Knight bails out, and The Mega Star gets away from the trouble makers. Will Knight prove you can’t spell SummerSlam without L A?

 

The Brawling Brutes argue with The OC backstage.

Dunne & Ridge are yelling at Styles, Mia Yim & The Good Brothers, but then Adam Pearce barges in and shouts them all down! LISTEN! If they wanna have a go, then do it in the ring! Now! Ridge & Dunne head out, as do Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows. Sheamus and Styles stay behind to stare down, surely they’ll save their animosity for tomorrow’s battle royal.

 

The Brawling Brutes VS The Good Brothers w/ Mia Yim!

Fight Night continues as Ridge Da Fridge and “Butch” Pete Dunne look to take it to the Machine Gun and Big LG! Will these four get the aggression out before (potentially) snapping into the Slim Jim Battle Royal?

SmackDown returns and The OC make their entrance. The teams sort out, Ridge starts with Luke Gallows. Ridge RAMS into Gallows, then throws UPPERCUTS and HEADBUTTS on repeat! Ridge then reels Gallows in but Gallows wrenches out to UPPERCUT! Ridge comes back with a LARIAT but Gallows stays on his feet! Gallows RAMS Ridge, Ridge RAMS Gallows! Ridge fireman’s carries but Gallows CLUBS free! Gallows UPPERCUTS, scoops, and FALL AWAY SLAMS! Ridge goes to the OC corner, Gallows runs in to SPLASH! Tag to Karl Anderson and the OC set up, BOOT RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP COMBO! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally, Karl brings Ridge up but Ridge powers out to HEADBUTT! Ridge underhooks and he SWINGS Karl around, before the BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Tag to Dunne, and fans fire up as Ridge puts Karl in a Camel Clutch, fur a basement dropkick! Fans fire up with Dunne and he hammerlocks an arm. Dunne grabs the other, and he bends Karl’s fingers! Karl endures but the torture continues! Dunne practically makes Karl Too Sweet with that hand, before he isolates it, and STOMPS the arm! Dunne drags Karl up, kneels on the arm and then twists an ear! The ref reprimands but Dunne then grabs the nose!

Dunne stomps the trapped arm, then gives Karl some DRAGON STOMPS! Dunne drops into the ARMBAR, but Karl shifts up! Karl drags Dunne back with him as he tags in Luke! They deadlift Dunne together, right into a BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER COMBO! Ridge breaks the cover! Karl runs in to UPPERCUT Ridge out! Dunne goes to the apron while the OC throw up the Too Sweet, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Karl has Ridge down with a chinlock. Ridge endures, fans rally up, and Ridge fights up. Ridge throws body shots, then he carries Karl, but Karl claws Ridge’s face! Karl slips down to kick the leg out! Karl soaks up the cheers and jeers, then he stomps Ridge. Karl gives Ridge some toying kicks, but Ridge glares at him. Ridge stands up, fires up, and he LARIATS Karl down! Ridge crawls for the corner, hot tag to Dunne! Fans fire up as Dunne dodges Karl, GAMANGIRIS Gallows, then he dodges to GAMANGIRI Karl over and over and over! Dunne goes up, FLYING KNEE to the arm!

Dunne brings Karl up to CLUB him in the chest! Dunne then runs, SHINING WIZARD! Cover, but Gallows CLOBBERS Dunne! Ridge ROCKS Gallows, Gallows UPPERCUTS Ridge! Gallows reels Ridge in, but Ridge Alabama Lifts out of it, to DUMP Gallows down! Karl JUMP KICKS Ridge, Dunne ENZIGURIS Karl! Fans fire up as Dunne stands, but here comes THE STREET PROFITS?! They attack everyone and this match is over!

No Contest

Gallows gets up to fight back but he gets mugged by the nicely dressed Ford & Dawkins! They get the edge and then POST Ridge! Ford SPLASHES Karl in the corner, then feeds him to Dawkins’ SKY HIGH! Fans are going nuts as Ridge stands into an ENZIGURI and the SILENCER! Dunne jumps back in after Dawkins but he gets thrown off! POUNCE SUPLEX COMBO! The fans go wild as the Profits ARE up! They compose themselves, and then out walks Bobby Lashley! The All Mighty celebrates with his Profits, is this trio going to start taking over the WWE?

 

Charlotte Flair speaks.

She is welcomed to a luxury yacht and given champagne service. “This is the life, isn’t it? But what can I say? I like nice things. Champagne, this yacht, being the 14-time Women’s Champion. It’s in my blood. Like winning. Tomorrow is the biggest women’s’ match in SummerSlam history. Bianca Belair, the EST. Asuka, the Empress. And the one and only Queen. I am the past, the present and the future. I have been since 2015. There is a reason why I have a 5-0 record at SummerSlam. Because I am reliable, dependable, and the Iron Woman of this division. I’m not looking to beat Asuka tomorrow, I’m not looking to beat Bianca, but they have to beat me.

“Asuka, I have your number. Bianca, I am that mountain you have to climb, sweetheart. You might’ve been on top for two years, but I have been on top for my entire career. So let’s make a toast to the NEW WWE Women’s Champion, the 15-time champion, Charlotte Flair. Woo~!” Charlotte is living in luxury, but will she take the throne again at SummerSlam?

 

Paul Heyman is in the ring.

Fans boo the Wise Man and he isn’t happy about that. “Ladies, if there are any in Ohio… and gentlemen, my name… is Paul Heyman.” Fans boo some more and Heyman frowns. “How did it come to this? This is not what Your Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns… wanted. This is the last thing Roman… Reigns… wanted. If you wanna place blame for what happened to Jimmy Uso, who you will most likely not see again, you, you, you, you, you, you, you can ALL BLAME JEY… USO!” Fans boo because that’s bunk. But Heyman says now, the former Right Hand Man, the former after tomorrow Main Event Jey Uso wants to push Your Tribal Chief to this?

“What happens to Jey Uso tomorrow night won’t be Jey Uso’s fault, won’t be your fault, won’t be my fault, it will be the accountability of Your Tribal Chief, Roman…! Reigns! There will be no remorse, there will be no regret, there will be no plea for absolution or benediction or forgiveness! Because when Roman Reigns enters this ring tomorrow night at SummerSlam, ladies and gentlemen, he will be cognizant of the fact… that Roman Reigns is entering a match called, ‘Tribal…! Combat!'” Heyman cues the video!

Heyman narrating the video says, “The Ula Fala. On the Isle of Samoa, kings don’t wear crowns. Chiefs wear the sacred beads of the Ula Fala. And the only way to seize such power is through Tribal Combat. Generation after generation, boys have become men, men have become warriors, warriors have become legends, and legends have become Tribal Chiefs.” Rikishi says those are what the High Chiefs wear. To wear something like that within The Bloodline comes with respect. Afa says that as he was growing up, he knew the importance of the red lei. Sika says that “Thank you for your love, God bless all of Samoa and the whole world.”

Heyman continues, “When the position of Chief is challenged, when the uprising reaches its highest level, there’s only one way to settle that matter. In a match where there are no rules except one, and that one rule states there will be a declarative winner. There will be no doubt left in anyone’s mind that one man can carry the honor of being the Undisputed Tribal Chief.”

Heyman in the present says that Roman is the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion! Roman Reigns is YOUR Tribal Chief! He has been both for damn near three YEARS here in the WWE, and Jey Uso, that will never be you! Heyman could stand here and tell us that’s not a prediction but a spoiler, but the only spoiler for tomorrow is that- JEY USO IS HERE! Fans fire up as #TheREALChief heads to the ring! Jey gets in and then gets himself a mic, and fans chant “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!” Jey takes a moment to revel in that, and then he paces as he looks at Heyman.

Fans fire up and chant for “JEY! JEY! JEY!” Jey says “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You right, OG. Tomorrow night, the Tribal Combat is happening. So yeah, yeah, I’ma light ’em up with one of these sticks. I’ma a light ’em up with one of these chairs. And guess what? He the Head of the Table? He definitely going through one! Hey, this is what he forgot to mention, though! This passion you see right in front of you, UCe? I’m bringing all that tomorrow! The spirit of my ancestors? I’m bringing all that tomorrow! My family, I’m bringing all that tomorrow! My culture, I’m bringing all that tomorrow! And tomorrow, I’m beating Roman Reigns to become the NEW Tribal Chief, and the NEW Undisputed WWE Universal Champion, Uce!”

Fans are all fired up, but here comes Solo Sikoa! The Enforcer of the Island knows he’s facing Jey, so he isn’t waiting! Jey tells Solo to chill. Heyman does his best to hold Solo back but Jey asks Solo why he gotta be like this. Fans chant “UCE! SO!” again and Heyman says that Jey’s done screwed up. Jey tells little brother Solo, it don’t matter what happens here, they’re always brothers, so Jey can forgive him. These mind games are gonna be done. They did the same thing to Jey! All you do is take orders. There are probably orders right now. But Heyman said the same things to Solo he used to say to Jey, okay?

Heyman says no, not okay. Do you really think Solo- Solo looks at Heyman and Heyman stops. Heyman wants Jey to excuse them. Heyman has Solo go over to the far side, but Solo only goes so far. Heyman wants Solo to listen, but Solo shouts to get out! And then Jey SUPERKICKS Solo! Jey shot first, and the fans fire up again! Jey smirks at Heyman and says he’s okay, he’ll see Heyman tomorrow. But tell Solo they’re still on for tonight. The Real Chief takes his leave, will Main Event Jey win to have major momentum going into SummerSlam?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

Kayla Braxton is with the United States Champion at gorilla and he is all smiles. Kayla says Theory is competing up next, but will put the title on the line next week against Santos Escobar. Theory stops her there and asks how Escobar won that right. This is the same guy Theory punched in the face earlier tonight, and the same guy who injured his mentor, his so-called beloved mentor! But Theory hopes Rey is watching, because when Theory beats Escobar to retain the title, Theory will dedicate that win to Rey. But tonight, Theory has Cameron Grimes. And just like Escobar next week, Grimes gets his dream crushed when he experiences Austin Theory Live.

Theory makes his entrance, will he back up all his talk with actions? Or will there be a Cave-In in Dayton?

Austin Theory VS Cameron Grimes!

SmackDown returns and the Carolina Cash Money Caveman makes his entrance. The bell rings and the two tie up. Theory waistlocks and he SLAMS Grimes down, then eggs him on. Theory taunts the fans, and he sees Escobar storming up. Security stops Escobar as Theory taunts him, but then Theory turns around, CAVE-IN!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Theory got lucky that Grimes miscalculated that shot! Grimes refocuses, and he DIVES onto Theory at the ramp! Fans fire up and Grimes hurries to RAM Theory into barriers! And then more barriers! Fans fire up behind Grimes as he puts Theory in the ring!

Grimes climbs up the corner, leaps, CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Grimes fires forearms, Theory staggers around, and Grimes CHOPS! Theory swings, Grimes dodges, STEP FOREARM! Scoop and SWINGING SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Grimes grows frustrated. Theory flounders around, Grimes KICKS him! Theory staggers up, into another KICK! Theory ducks the roundhouse, Grimes dodges the haymaker, to COLLISION COURSE! Cover, TWO!! Theory survives again but Grimes aims from a corner. Fans fire up, Theory staggers, and Grimes shouts “TO! THE! MOON!” Theory avoids the Cave-In, and uses the ref as a shield!

Grimes gets the ref outta the way, but Theory dumps Grimes out to the apron. Grimes ROCKS Theory, goes up the corner again, but Theory hits the ropes! Grimes falls and HOTSHOTS off ropes, into a fireman’s carry! A-TOWN DOWN!! Cover, Theory wins!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall

The Now survives by luck, but does find his opening to finish this off. Wait, Escobar shows up from the crowd side! Fireman’s carry, PHANTOM DRIVER!! Escobar says this is what you get when you mess with the LWO! The Emperor stands tall on Theory again, will he make it three in a row in next week’s title match?

 

Asuka speaks.

The Empress trains in the cage, and with punching bags. Asuka says in Japanese, “A Triple Threat at SummerSlam, huh? HAH! It’s not fair! How stupid and unfair! I have already beaten Bianca! And I beat Charlotte! I am NOT worried! I will beat them, because I have a plan!” NO ONE IS READY FOR ASUKA! The Empress is saying this isn’t fair for her opponents, but will the odds be her undoing?

 

SmackDown presents an all-new Grayson Waller Effect.

And of course, the Aussie Icon is already in the ring. Waller says it is SummerSlam weekend and everyone is talking about him. But before he goes to Detroit and wins the Slim Jim Battle Royal, he’s gonna give someone the Waller rub. And like in life, one woman isn’t enough for Waller! HAH! So tonight, welcome two guests! Have respect, get on your feet, for Miss MITB, Iyo Sky, and Bayley, it’s Damage Control! Fans are a bit torn as the Evil Genius and the Role Model make their way out to the ring. Bayley is a bit jumpy, given the specter of Shotzi is somewhere out there. They still sit at the desk with Waller and Waller says, “Ding dong, hello.”

Bayley says hers is better than his. Well a table is better than a door. But one question everyone is wondering: Will Iyo cash in tomorrow? Give us a scoop? Iyo wants to talk but Bayley speaks up first. Waller is an idiot if he thinks “The Genius in the Bank” is going to tell you any of their plans. No one is going to know what they- or Iyo, is thinking. Just wait like all the other idiots. Iyo is focused on her match- Fans boo but Bayley says they ARE idiots! Iyo is blessing you tonight when she beats Zelina tonight. But wait, Shotzi’s laughter echoes out again. “Bayley~! Bayley~!” Waller laughs, he knew Bayley would believe that!

Waller asks why Bayley is so scared of Shotzi. Bayley says not to do that again. She doesn’t care about what’s her face. Shotzi hasn’t even shown her face once, but Bayley is here- There’s Shotzi’s music!! Waller’s face gives away that this is real! And here comes Shotzi on the tank! Bayley freaks out and tells Iyo to go get her! Iyo storms up the ramp and shouts at… Wait, that’s not Shotzi. Shotzi’s in the ring! Bayley turns around hoping she won’t see her, but too bad, it’s Shotzi! Bayley wants mercy! She looks so good, and she’s so sorry! Please, just do this another time! She’s not ready! Bayley swings but Shotzi blocks and DECKS her!

And Shotzi brings out a razor! SHE”S GONNA SHAVE BAYLEY!! Bayley runs away and Shotzi chases her into the night! Iyo asks what’s going on, and then surprise, ZELINA was on the tank! That match with La Muneca is happening now, will the Evil Genius have a plan to counter these variables?

Iyo Sky VS Zelina Vega!

SmackDown returns and this match is already going! Sky has a chinlock but Zelina JAWBREAKERS free! Sky wrenches and whips, Zelina ducks ‘n’ dodges and then they DOUBLE LARIAT! Both women are down and fans rally up. Sky stands first, she eggs Zelina on but Zelina blocks a forearm to give a forearm! And repeat! And again, and again, and again! Zelina bumps Sky off buckles, then bumps her off more buckles! Zelina climbs up to rain down fists! Fans count fast as Zelina goes right to TEN! Zelina then hops down, runs back in, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and Zelina brings Sky back up.

Zelina whips Sky to a corner, Sky reverses and runs in, but Zelina boots! Sky blocks but Zelina uses that to reel her into a KNEE! Then Zelina goes up to the very top, for a METEORA! Cover, TWO! Zelina kicks low, runs, and hops on, but Sky pops her off! Sky gets around, underhooks, and TIGER BACKBREAKER! Zelina writhes and Sky rallies the fans. Sky aims, runs corner to corner, SHINKANSEN! Sky drags Zelina to the drop zone, steps on her and climbs up, and we see Shotzi throw Bayley around on stage! Bayley fights off the electric clippers! Shotzi still throws hands! Bayley shoves her away and retreats again!

Sky is distracted, and Zelina gets under her! Fans fire up for the RUNNING POWERBOMB! And then Zelina runs up, hops on, CODE RED!! Cover, Zelina wins!!

Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall

La Muneca wins over Miss MITB again! If Sky does cash-in and take the WWE Women’s Championship, will Zelina be the first one to challenge her?

 

Bianca Belair speaks.

The EST prepares new ring gear as she says, “At SummerSlam, I’ma give it everything. For 419 days, the EST was untouchable. I mean, I knocked down every obstacle placed in front of me. Until Night of Champions when Asuka tried to blind me and stole my title.” But Bianca doesn’t make excuses. She just gets back to work. You want her to wait in line? She’ll take a ticket. You want her to jump through hoops? She’ll ask how high. You want her to face Charlotte AND Asuka? Then let’s do it! Triple Threat means no count outs, no disqualifications and no excuses.

“You best believe tomorrow night, I’m not letting up. I’ma train harder, I’ma work smarter, and I’ma remind Asuka and Charlotte exactly why I’m the strongest, the fastest, the roughest, the toughest, the quickest, the best, when I give ’em a KOD, get the 1-2-3, and take back what’s rightfully mine and become the NEW WWE Women’s Champion.” Bianca is the readiEST she’ll ever be, will it be enough against the Queen and the Empress?

 

SmackDown celebrates Edge’s 25 YEARS in the WWE!

SmackDown will be in the Rated R Superstar’s hometown in two weeks, get ready to celebrate the WWE Hall of Famer!

 

Jey Uso VS Solo Sikoa w/ Paul Heyman!

The Real Chief is ready to BE the Real Chief, but he must get through the one brother not on his side. Will Jey then go through Solo on his way to Detroit? Or will there be a Samoan Spike in the road?

SmackDown returns and Solo makes his entrance. The bell rings and fans rally up for “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!” Jey dares Solo to do something then, and the two circle. They tie up, Solo SHOVES Jey away, and then he eggs Jey on. Jey shrugs that off, and he circles with Solo. Fans chant “SOLO SUCKS! SOLO SUCKS!” Jey tries to tell Solo he shouldn’t listen to Heyman. They tie up, Jey waistlocks, headlocks, and grinds. Solo fights up, powers out, and he runs Jey over! Fans boo as Solo looms over Jey. Solo CLUBS Jey, eggs him on, and then HEADBUTTS him down! Jey flounders, goes to a corner, and Solo CHOKES him on the ropes!

The ref counts, Solo lets off at 4, and then he storms around. Solo drags Jey up, whips him to ropes, and CLOBBERS him! Fans boo but Solo soaks it all up. Jey goes out to the floor but Solo pursues. Solo stalks Jey, says he won’t even make it to SummerSlam, and then SMACKS Jey off the desk! Solo clears the desk off, the ref reprimands, but Solo drags Jey up. Solo clinches, but Jey slips free of the urenage! Jey RAMS Solo into the desk, then SUPERKICKS him onto it! Fans fire up as Jey then goes into the ring, and he DIVES! Solo hits the desk again, and fans fire up with Jey as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns once again and Solo has a claw clamped into Jey’s shoulder. Fans rally as Jey endures, and they chant “SOLO SUCKS! SOLO SUCKS!” Jey fights up, but Heyman is still smiling as Solo squeezes the shoulder tighter! Jey fights up all the same, and he throws body shots! Solo shoves Jey, Jey dumps Solo out! Fans fire up as Jey builds speed and he DIVES into a HAYMAKER! Solo hurries back in, and SAMOAN DROPS! Jey writhes, Solo drags him up and whips him to ropes. For another SAMOAN DROP! Solo seethes and Heyman mocks Jey’s pain. Solo stands up as fans rally for “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!”

Solo looms over Jey, eggs him on, but Jey throws body shots! Solo ROCKS Jey in return! Jey goes to a corner, but Solo eggs him on. Jey sputters as he sits up, and fans rally again. Solo shouts and runs in, but Jeyu avoids the hip attack! Solo staggers, Jey hobbles up, and Jey counter punches Solo again and again and again! Jey puts some stank on the HAYMAKER! Jey whips, Solo reverses, but Jey slips out of the Samoan Drop to kick low! And UPPERCUT! But Solo rebounds to LARIAT! Fans boo while Jey sputters and goes to the apron. Solo storms over, brings Jey up, and Solo stands Jey up, but Jey HOTSHOTS back!

Jey goes up a corner, and he CROSSBODIES Solo down! Cover, TWO! Solo is still in this but Jey stays focused. Fans rally with “UCE! SO!” as they anticipate what’s coming. Jey joins in, “UCE! SO!” but Solo WHEEL KICKS! Solo drags Jey up, clinches, SPINNING SOLO!! But Solo won’t end it at the urenage as he prepares his thumb! Solo stands Jey up, SAMOAN- NO, Jey ducks! SUPERKICK! Solo SUPERKICKS! Jey SPEARS!! Just like last week!! Jey then hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jey wins!!

Winner: Jey Uso, by pinfall

Main Event Jey pulls it off! But Solo isn’t done! He gets up to CLOBBER Jey! Fans boo as Solo won’t let it go! Solo POSTS Jey, then grabs a chair! Fans boo but Jey SUPERKICKS the chair into Solo’s face! Jey then takes the chair, to SMACK Solo! And again! And again! Solo tumbles over the barriers! Fans fire up but then Solo rises again! Jey says alright, and he CLOBBERS Solo with the chair! Fans fire up with Jey as he stands tall on the desk! The Enforcer is down, will Jey be able to do the same to Roman Reigns when anything goes in Tribal Combat?


My Thoughts:

A really good go-home here, but it had a touch of that Go-Home Syndrome again. Replaying the Cody VS Lesnar recap video was fine, mostly filled time. Good promos from Charlotte, Bianca and Asuka, though I obviously thought we were getting them in person tonight. I suppose this is for the best, no need for shenanigans that would affect the go home math. They’re all fairly equal, given this is a Triple Threat. But after a pretty good Grayson Waller Effect segment, we got a bit of the math on Iyo Sky’s side. Great bait ‘n’ switch of Zelina and Shotzi to separate Bayley from Sky, and Zelina gets a win, though with distractions, so that Sky has the math against her. This could very well mean Sky does cash in to take advantage of the Triple Threat, and maybe even wins that way.

Great opening with LA Knight, Sheamus and then most of the nine names they revealed to us in the Slim Jim Battle Royal. I do like that since they weren’t going to close with a go-home brawl, they more or less give us that to start the show. It was a pretty decent way to keep Sheamus strong while losing to Knight, too, with Miz taking the Beats of the Bodhrain. Hard to say if Knight wins the battle royal, though maybe he should just so he has some momentum going into what I’d assume is a US Championship story. Theory getting involved just to sucker punch Escobar was a good detail, and then he had a good match with Grimes. It’s good that Grimes gets TV time, and I like how close they made that match. Escobar stands tall getting even with Theory, so that surely means Theory retains next week.

I do want to point out, wasn’t the animosity between Brutes and OC misplaced? It was Kross and Miz that got the better of them in that brawl, but I guess they weren’t gonna HOLLA HOLLA and put Miz together with Kross. Kross and Styles still have their blowoff coming so I guess that’ll amount to about the same. But what a wild move for The Profits to attack and “ruin” the match between Good Brothers and Brawling Brutes. The Profits & Lashley being Heels or Faces, probably doesn’t matter right now, because the live crowd sure loved this moment. Lashley, Ford & Dawkins are all great, and maybe this change in the Profits is what gets them the tag titles while Lashley could go for the US Championship.

And I only refrain from saying Lashley would go for the top title because of how things are going with the Bloodline story. Great stuff from that story, like the great Ula Fala origin story from Heyman, and then everything with Jey and Solo. Jey stands tall, so we can’t expect Jey to win against Roman, as wild as that would be. There still has to be something where Solo and maybe even Jimmy get involved, but if Roman retains, Lashley facing him would also feel like a foregone conclusion. Lashley taking on Theory or Knight for the US Championship would be some great stuff, though if Knight’s the champ, he probably finds a way to win so as not to be a transitional champion, because he should not be a transitional champion.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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