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Mitchell’s NJPW World Tag League Results & Report! (12/8/23)

It’s time for the semifinals!

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Will there be revenge planned in the finals?

The best of both blocks collide as TMDK battles El Phantasmo & Hikuleo while Bishamon battles the War Dogs! Will all the champions make it through?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Man Tag: Bullet Club VS Master Wato, Yuto Nakashima & Oskar Leube; Bullet Club wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The United Empire VS Lance Archer, Alex Zayne & Minoru Suzuki; Archer, Zayne & Suzuki win.
  • Six Man Tag: The House of Torture VS Kaito Kiyomiya, Ryohei Oiwa & Ryusuke Taguchi; The House of Torture wins.
  • Shota Umino & Tomoaki Honma VS Ren Narita & Yujiro Takahashi; Narita & Yujiro win.
  • 8 Man Tag: Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi, Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano VS Atlantis Jr, Soberano Jr. & The Gates of Agony; Atlantis, Soberano & The Gates of Agony win.
  • 8 Man Tag: Just5Guys VS Los Ingobernables de Japon; J5G wins.
  • 2023 World Tag League, Semifinal: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo VS TMDK; ELP & Leo win and advance to the finals.
  • 2023 World Tag League, Semifinal: Bishamon VS Gabe Kidd & Alex Coughlin; Bishamon wins and advance to the finals.

PLAY BY PLAY

Shota Umino & Tomoaki Honma VS Ren Narita & Yujiro Takahashi!

The Reiwa Musketeers could’ve had a shot at tonight’s semifinals, if not for the Son of Strong Style turning on the Roughneck like a SOB! But will #SHOOTER and Everyone’s Kokeshi make Narita pay for such betrayal? Or will Narita and the Tokyo Pimp win big in their first team-up?

Well Narita’s a fast learner, he attacks Honma during his entrance House style! Fans boo as Narita, Yujiro & Dick Togo stomp Honma, but Shota rushes over! Yujiro CHOKES Shota with his pimp cane! Narita stomps Honma more, throwing Honma’s big jacket away. Narita then taunts Shota as he drags Honma away. Narita CLUBS Honma, puts him in the ring, and the ref rings the bell. Narita taunts Honma while Yujiro lets off on Shota. Honma fires forearms on Narita and fans rally up. Honma HEADBUTTS Narita and runs, but Narita gets around to a SLEEPER! Honma endures but he’s already red in the face!

Narita then spins Honma around for a FACEBUSTER! Cover, The House wins!!

Winner: Ren Narita & Yujiro Takahashi, by pinfall

Dick pulls Shota’s hair to stand him up, so Yujiro can- NO, Shota BOOTS Yujiro and ELBOWS Dick! The match is over, but the fight is on! Narita eggs Shota on and he storms right up! But then Narita runs away! And the rest of the House is here! Narita laughs as Sho, Evil & Kanemaru mug Shota! Narita then joins in, as do Dick and Yujiro. They all stand on Shota but the fans tell them to go home. Narita puts one out with the boys, then he sits Shota up, for a SLEEPER! Shota flails, reaches out, fights up to his feet, but Narita grins as he spins Shota around, flips him off, and hits the FACEBUSTER!

Fans boo more but the House all looms over Shota. Will nothing stop them now that they have their ace in the hole?

 

2023 World Tag League, Semifinal: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo w/ Jado VS TMDK w/ Kosei Fujita!

The NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Champions made it through Monster Sauce while Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls were cheated by those War Dogs! Will the Headbanga & Young Guerilla stay NJPW Strong? Or will The Mighty refuse to kneel even now?

The teams sort out, ELP starts against Shane and the fans rally up. ELP and Shane circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Shane finds a point of leverage, puts ELP on the ropes, then pulls hair! Red Shoes reprimands, Shane lets off, and ELP says, “Itai! <Ow!>” ELP and Shane reset, tie up, and ELP wrenches to wristlock. Shane reaches for ropes, ELP keeps him back, but Shane rolls, kips, breaks free, snapmares and basement dropkicks! Fans cheer and Shane flexes while ELP clutches that taped up shoulder. Shane whips ELP to ropes but ELP rolls off Shane’s back. ELP then ducks ‘n’ dodges and RANAS, then handsprings up!

Shane takes a swing, but into the atomic drop! ELP spanks Shane, runs, but into an atomic drop! Shane gets payback, and both men’s backsides are too sore to throw hands. Shane tags in Mikey, and Mikey dares Leo to tag in. Leo does tag in and fans rally up. Mikey gets around Leo, headlocks, but Leo powers up, only for Mikey to hold tight. Leo powers up, but Mikey grinds the hold! Leo throws body shots, powers out this time, but Mikey RAMS him! Leo stays up so Mikey RAMS again! And RAMS again! Mikey whips, Leo reverses, and then Leo runs in at the corner. Mikey dodges, Leo hits buckles, and Mikey reels Leo in to suplex!

But Leo fights that to suplex Mikey! Mikey slips free, ducks the chop and dodges the lariat, but Leo still runs him over! Fans fire up and Leo tags ELP back in. They get Mikey up to double whip to a corner. ELP sends Leo in to SPLASH! ELP runs in to ELBOW! ELP feeds Mikey to Leo’s back drop! ELP BLASTS Shane for good measure, then winds up to somersault and high-five Leo! Fans cheer, and ELP drags Mikey up. ELP CLUBS away on Mikey’s neck, then waistlocks. Mikey switches, ELP fights the lift and switches back. ELP ducks Mikeiy’s elbow but the DDT hits! Shane then BLASTS Leo!

Mikey brings ELP over to throw outside, and he tags in Shane. Mikey keeps Red Shoes distracted while Shane SMACKS ELP off the apron, and YANKS him into the post! ELP shakes out that bad arm, but Shane digs his foot in! Shane lets off as Red Shoes reprimands, but Leo storms over. Red Shoes has Leo stay back, even as Mikey eggs Leo on. Shane puts ELP in, stomps him around, then stomps him more. Tag to Mikey, but ELP fights back with forearms and elbows! Shane UPPERCUTS, Mikey lifts and Shane runs in, BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER COMBO! Shane BLASTS Leo, Mikey covers, TWO!

ELP hangs tough but Mikey clamps onto him with a chinlock stretch, almost a half camel clutch really. ELP still endures, so Mikey digs his knees into the bad arm and pulls! ELP flails, reaches out, but Mikey drops a knee on the arm! Cover, TWO! Fans cheer and ELP crawls but Mikey stays between him and Leo. Mikey wrenches, tags Shane, then Shane wrenches ELP to YANK the arm. Tag back to Mikey, he wrenches and YANKS the arm! Tag to Shane, he brings ELP around to wrench and ELBOW BREAKER! Shane digs his knees in, pulling on ropes for leverage.

Red Shoes reprimands and counts, Shane lets off, then he kicks ELP out. Shane and Mikey go out, Mikey taunts Leo while Shane hits an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Shane pushes ELP back in, covers, TWO! Fans rally up, Shane keeps on ELP and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Mikey and Shane BLASTS Leo again! Mikey lifts ELP but ELP boots Shane away! Mikey still back suplexes, but ELP lands on his feet! ELP goes over Mikey, under Shane, but Shane grabs a leg! TMDK drags ELP away but ELP boots them down! Hot tag to Leo! Fans rally as Leo UPPERCUTS Mikey! Shane dodges but Leo runs him over!

Leo scoops Mikey to SNAKE EYES and run him over! Fans fire up, Leo drags Mikey up but Shane runs in. So Leo choke grips Shane! Mikey kicks Leo, so Leo grabs Mikey! Shane kicks low, so Leo grabs them both! TMDK breaks free, they double whip, but Leo breaks the line to DOUBLE LARIAT! Fans fire up with Leo and he takes aim at Mikey. Mikey rises, Leo choke grips, and GOD- NO, Mikey fires elbows! Leo ROCKS Mikey, Mikey ROCKS Leo, repeat! They go back and forth, Mikey gets the edge, then he ducks to ROCK Leo again! Mikey reels Leo in, but Leo suplexes first! Fans fire up and Leo covers, TWO!

Leo drags Mikey up, tags ELP in, and they mug Mikey. ELP then straitjackets and torture racks, but Mikey fights the lift! And Shane trips Leo up! Shane drags Leo out and sends him into railing while Mikey hits a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Mikey tags Shane and Shane storms up to ELP. Fans rally as Shane kicks ELP around. ELP sits up, Shane kicks and stomps him, but ELP CHOPS! Shane boots, ELP throws a forearm! Shane kicks the leg, BOOTS ELP, but ELP fights the scoop with elbows! ELP whips, Shane reverses and reels ELP in, SAIDO! Cover, TWO! ELP is still in this but Shane stays on him!

Shane CLUBS away on the bad arm, then puts on a BORDER CITY STRETCH! ELP endures, fights around, reaches out, but Shane shifts to hammerlock the bad arm and chicken wing th eother! Mikey sends Leo into railing, but ELP kicks and kicks and kicks to the ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer while Shane lets go in frustration. Tag to Mikey, he drags ELP up and whips him to a corner. Mikey runs in to clothesline, then fireman’s carry! Shane joins in, HIGHWAY TO HELL!! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives and fans fire up! TMDK call for the end, the fans rally, and TMDK brings ELP up.

TMDK double gorilla press ELP, but ELP turns that into DOUBLE DDTS! Fans fire up again as ELP crawls for his corner. Hot tag to Leo! Leo storms up to CHOP Mikey! And he CHOPS Shane! And he CHOPS Mikey! Shane ducks the chop and shoves Leo, but Leo CLOBBERS Mikey! Then he BOOTS Shane! Fans fire up as Leo scoops Mikey, but Mikey slips free! Mikey CLUBS Leo, but Leo roars! Mikey LARIATS Leo, runs, but into a scoop! POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Mikey is still in this and fans rally up again. Leo tags ELP, and he fires Leo up as they take the corners.

ELP tunes up, SUDDEN DEATH, then a DIVE onto Shane! GODSEND on Mikey!! Then ELP rises up, SUPER THUNDER- NO, ELP has to bail out as Mikey moves! Mikey sends ELP into Leo, then GERMAN SUPLEXES ELP! Leo choke grips Mikey but Shane DROPKICKS him! Mikey suplexes, but Leo fights it! Shane helps out now, assisted suplex! Mikey tags Shane, and TMDK gets ELP back up. Shane hops up, Mikey scoops, but ELP slips free to shove Mikey into Shane! ELP then dodges Mikey, goes up top, and he SUPER STEINERS Shane into Mikey! Fans fire up and ELP runs to LARIAT Shane! Cover, TWO!

ELP pounds the mat, the fans rally back up, and ELP drags Shane up. ELP tucks the arms, C R 2!! ELP DROPKICKS Mikey, covers Shane, TWO!!! Shane survives and fans are thunderous! ELP is frustrated but he calls to Leo. ELP hurries over, tag to Leo and Leo gets ELP fired back up. They both tune up, but Mikey returns to save Shane! SUDDEN DEATH and GOD- NO, Shane shoves everyone into each other! Roll-up on Leo, TWO!!! Shane runs, into POWER TRIP!! And GODSEND!!! Cover, Leo & ELP win!!

Winners: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo, by pinfall (advance to the finals)

TMDK won’t get to have their revenge on the War Dogs as they are out of the running! But while The Mighty fall, will ELP & Leo stay NJPW Strong and take those trophies?

 

2023 World Tag League, Semifinal: Bishamon VS Gabe Kidd & Alex Coughlin!

Hirooki Goto & Yoshi-Hashi are just one match away from their threepeat! But that doesn’t mean they’ve broken the curse on the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions. Will the Fierce Warrior & Headhunter #GetBackUp to the finals? Or will the War Dogs be the ones to turn out the lights?

But of course, the Dogs attack at the ramp! But of course, Goto & Hashi are ready! Goto SMACKS Kidd with his staff, then Hashi SMACKS Kidd with his! Goto kicks Coughlin, and then Bishamon DOUBLE SMASH him! Fans rally up as the champs stomp and CLUB the Dogs around, and Goto has Kidd while Hashi has Coughlin. They both use headlocks to bring the Dogs to ringside, but then the Dogs send them into railing! Kidd UPPERCUTS Goto, then brings him into the crowd! Kidd CHOPS Goto, Coughlin UPPERCUTS Hashi! Goto takes a seat, but he CHOPS Kidd back!

Goto and Kidd brawl in one section, Coughlin THROWS railing at Hashi from another! Coughlin CLAWS Hashi’s back, then claws at his face! Coughlin CLUBS Hashi down, but Goto has turned things around on Kidd. Goto CLUBS Kidd into taking a seat and fans move aside as Goto stomps Kidd down. Coughlin CHOPS Hashi and Hashi stumbles back into chairs. Kidd whips Goto into railing at ringside! Coughlin whips but Hashi reverses, and he bowls a STRIKE with Coughlin into the chairs! Kidd CHOPS Goto, flips off Tanahashi on commentary, and then he drags Goto up and into the ring.

The bell finally rings and fans rally up. Kidd mocks the fans, stomps Goto, then drags Goto up. Kidd CHOPS Goto, CLUBS him, then runs. But Hashi returns and Bishamon runs Kidd over! Then ZANMAI! Fans fire up, Coughlin returns, but Goto kicks him and snap suplexes him onto Kidd! Fans rally up as Goto drags Kidd up, and “SE NO!” Bishamon HAMMERS away on Kidd! Fans fire up as Bishamon flexes, and Goto stomps Kidd around. Goto drags Kidd up but Kidd CHOPS! Goto knees low, bumps Kidd off buckles, then fires off forearms! The fans rally, Goto ROCKS Kidd then brings him around.

Goto fireman’s carries but Coughlin distracts Red Shoes. Kidd BITES Goto’s ear! Kidd then goes and BITES Hashi’s face! Kidd tosses Hashi out, then Coughlin drags Goto out! The Dogs send Bishamon into railing hard! Fans boo but the Dogs soak up the heat. Coughlin drags Goto up, CLUBS him, and Kidd has Hashi. Kidd CHOPS Hashi, Hashi tumbles away, and Coughlin digs his boot into Goto at the railing. Coughlin puts Goto in, Kidd is on him and CLUBS him down! Kidd sits Goto up, digs his knee into Goto’s neck, then SENTONS! Tag to Coughlin, he rains down fists, and then ELBOWS! Cover, TWO!

Goto hangs tough but Coughlin shakes his head. Coughlin drags Goto up, CHOPS him, then CHOPS again! Goto falls against ropes but he kicks back. Coughlin kicks Goto then CHOPS him again! Kidd gets in with the tag titles and gloats that the Dogs are gonna be the champs. Fans boo and Red Shoes reprimands, but then Kidd chucks the belts! Coughlin stomps Goto, sits him up into a chinlock and he grinds Goto down. GOto endures even as Coughlin shifts to a neck wrench, grinds his forearms in, and goes back to a chinlock. Coughlin goes back to the neck wrench, then ELBOWS Goto down!

Cover, but Red Shoes says no, because of all the antics! Fans cheer but the Dogs say to do your job, Red Shoes! Coughlin drags Goto up, tags Kidd, and Coughlin holds Goto’s arms back so Kidd can CHOP! Goto CHOPS and CHOPS but Kidd claws his eyes! Red Shoes reprimands, Kidd lets off, “I’m a MADMAN, y’know!” Kidd eggs Goto on, then digs his boots in! Kidd talks trash as he lets off, and Coughlin storms up on Goto. Coughlin drags Goto around, clamps on with the chinlock again, then Coughlin talks trash on Hashi. Goto reaches the ROPEBREAK but Coughlin stomps him and drags him back.

Coughlin puts the chinlock back on, then CHOKES Goto with wrist tape! Red Shoes suspects something but Coughlin keeps it from view! Coughlin returns to the chinlock then ELBOWS Goto’s head again. Coughlin drags Goto right up into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, Hashi breaks it! Fans cheer but Coughlin knees Hashi low and throws him out! Coughlin stomps Goto, digs his boot in, and tags Kidd. Kidd BOOTS Hashi off the apron! Then Kidd drags Goto up to throw him out. Kidd goes out after Goto, brings him up the ramp and all the way to the stage! But Goto fights the piledriver!

Kidd CLUBS Goto, tries again, but Goto back drops Kidd onto the stage! Fans fire up while both men are down, and Goto rolls down the ramp. Coughlin storms up on Goto but Goto DECKS him! Fans rally as Goto continues back to the ring, but he stumbles from the pain in his neck. The ring count starts, Goto crawls as we reach 5 of 20. Goto stands up at 7, and rolls in at 10! Kidd is still crawling at 12, and at 15! Kidd calls to Coughlin so Coughlin YANKS Hashi down to stop the tag! Coughlin CHOPS Goto, “You think you can F with us?!” Coughlin whips, but Goto reverses! Goto runs in, but into a BOOT! Goto still MURAMASAS!

Coughlin flops out of the ring and fans rally up! Kidd is back, but Goto crawls for his corner! Kidd anchors a foot, but Goto rolls and boots Kidd away! Hot tag to Hashi! Fans fire up as Hashi runs Kidd over! And elbows him down! Hashi whips, Kidd reverses but Hashi comes back to CHOP! And mule kick! And turn for the- NO, Coughlin kicks Hashi first! Coughlin ROCKS Hashi, the Dogs double whip, but Hashi dropkicks Coughlin’s legs out! Then he sends Kidd into Coughlin! Mule kick and NECKBREAKER for Kidd! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up while Hashi catches his breath.

Hashi drags Kidd up, reels him in, and suplexes, but Kidd fights free! Kidd BITES Hashi’s forehead! Red Shoes reprimands, Kidd lets off and he calls for Coughlin. Coughlin returns, the Dogs reel Hashi in and DOUBLE- NO, Goto makes the save! Goto DECKS Coughlin, fires off on Kidd, and whips him to a corner. Goto runs in to clothesline! Hashi runs in to clothesline! Feed to the kick and clinch, GOTO GO TO HUNTER! Cover, TWO! Kidd hangs tough but the fans rally up with Bishamon! Goto dragon sleepers, Hashi has the legs, but Kidd kicks free! Coughlin trips Hashi, Kidd BRAINBUSTERS Goto!!

Coughlin stomps Hashi and roars! Kidd crawls over and tags Coughlin in. Coughlin then runs in at Hashi to clothesline! Kidd runs in to CHOP! Then the Dogs get Hashi up, DOUBLE MUSCLE BUSTER!! Cover, TWO!! Kidd is stunned and fans fire up! The Dogs get Hashi back up, Kidd goes up the corner and Coughlin hoists Hashi up to him! HANGING GUILLOTINE! Then Coughlin uses that to Electric Chair Lift, Kidd flips Hashi off. DOOMSDAY DEVICE!! Cover, Goto breaks it! Kidd is furious and he DOUBLE CHOPS Goto down! Kidd says to kill ’em, and Coughlin goes up. Kidd gut wrenches, but Hashi fights free!

Hashi sends Kidd at Coughlin, Kidd stops himself, but turns around into HIDDEN GAP! Goto anchors Coughlin’s leg, Hashi RAMS Kidd into Coughlin’s groin! Then Bishamon DOUBLE ROCKET LAUNCHER Coughlin down! Fans fire up as Hashi brings Coughlin up and Goto climbs! DANGEROUS LIBRA!! Fans are thunderous as Bishamon drags Coughlin up. Dragon sleeper and leg lift, but Kidd CLUBS Hashi! Coughlin RAMS Goto into Red Shoes! All four men and the ref are down! The Dogs hurry to CLUB and stomp away on Bishamon, then Kidd grabs a chair!

Fans boo as Kidd storms in, and he JAMS Goto! Then SMACKS Goto on the back! Fans boo more but the Dogs soak up the heat. The Dogs drag Hashi up and Coughlin fetches the steel steps from under the ring! Kidd traps Hashi’s arms, Coughlin aims, but Goto intercepts! Goto kicks Coughlin, Kidd CLUBS Goto, but Oleg gets those steps outta there. Goto throws elbows on Kidd, but Kidd UPPERCUTS! Goto ROCKS Kidd, Kidd rebounds, but Goto DECKS him! Coughlin LARIATS Goto! Hashi SUPERKICKS Coughlin! Kidd runs in, SAIDO on Hashi! But Hashi’s right up!? And he LARIATS Kidd inside out!!

The fans are thunderous again as all four men are back down! Kidd and Goto flop out of the ring, Hashi and Coughlin rise. They crawl over to each other, go forehead to forehead, then forearm for forearm! They stand as they brawl, and fans rally up as they pick up speed! Hashi then CHOPS! Coughlin CHOPS back! Hashi CHOPS again! Coughlin glares and CHOPS again! Coughlin eggs Hashi on, Hashi comes back to CHOP! Hashi roars and eggs Coughlin on, so Coughlin CHOPS! The fans rally as the CHOPS keep going! Hashi then ROCKS, body shots and CHOPS!

Fans fire up, Hashi runs, but Coughlin stands and they DOUBLE LARIAT! Neither man falls so Hashi goes again. But into the BLACK HOLE SLAM!! Cover, TWO!! Hashi survives, but Kidd RAMS Goto into railing! Coughlin throws off his armbands to drag Hashi up. Pump handle, half nelson, and a lift righ tinto the fireman’s carry! PUMP HANDLE DEATH VALLEY!! Cover, TWO!!! Hashi survives and fans are thunderous! Kidd shouts to Coughlin and Coughlin rises up. Coughlin roars, he drags Hashi up, and Coughlin reels Hashi in. But Goto sends Kidd into railing!

Goto gets in to HEADBUTT Coughlin, so Hashi ends up in a fireman’s carry. Goto BLASTS Kidd back down, Hashi hits EASY PICKINGS!! Cover, BISHAMON WINS!!

Winners: Bishamon, by pinfall (advance to the finals)

Somehow, some way, Goto & Hashi managed to #TurnItAllAround and are now back in the finals! The War Dogs are furious, will they just have to come up with another way to bring gold to The Rebel?

As for Bishamon, before they can say anything, ELP & Leo return, with Jado carrying the WTL trophies! Fans cheer and all the champions stand in the ring. Jado sets the trophies in the middle of the ring as the champions all stare down. Leo gets the mic first, and he says when they see Bishamon in Kumamoto, “Gambate <Good luck>.” The fans cheer and the NJPW Strong Openweight champs offer handshakes. Fans cheer even more as the IWGP Heavyweight champs accept! ELP & Leo then leave, high-fiving the fans as they go. ELP even gets fans to start a “BI-SHA-MON!” chant.

Hashi returns the favor by getting fans to chant “E L P! E L P!” ELP claps along with the fans, and then Hashi gets the mic. Hashi has to turn it on first, then he says, “Finally…! We were able to advance to the finals!” Fans cheer for that! “As you can see, Gocchan is already in tatters. But I think this is a league where we can show off our abilities. If his arm hurts, I’ll become his arm so we can still fight.” Fans cheer that, too. Hashi says even if it’s unreasonable, no matter how many times they lose, they will still fight. They are the strongest when they stand together.

The mic turns off on Hashi so he turns it back on. In Kumamoto, they will show everyone their true bond and true strength! And then, to everyone watching, you will see a fight worthy of the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, and worthy of becoming THREE-TIME WTL winners! Hashi says he is tired of talking, since he’s not very good at it, but he hopes those who watch have been touched to the heart. And so everyone, in the upcoming battle, see you in Kumamoto! Bishamon leaves it at this, but will they leave Kumamoto with the trophies, and their WrestleKingdom future in their hands?


My Thoughts:

A great semifinal round, and while I could’ve skipped all the matches beforehand, I wanted to see how the first interaction between Shota and Narita after the betrayal went. That match was shockingly fast, even if it was clear Honma was gonna take the loss. The House of Torture is getting a resurgence with the additions of Kanemaru and Narita, feels like they might make another run at the NEVER Openweight Six Man titles with their new guys as part of the trio. And if anything can bring down the Dream Trio of Okada, Tanahashi & Ishii, it’s a bunch of cheaters overwhelming them.

And to the semifinals, great matches, but I should’ve seen both sets of tag team champions making it to the finals. Both teams were B Block, though, so that really buries A Block. Feels like they could’ve done a better job putting the NJPW Strong tag champs in A Block, and they still could’ve found a way to have ELP & Leo VS Bishamon in the finals. But hey, NJPW is at the doorstep of the historic 100TH reign with the heavyweight tag titles, so the WTL finals should be stacked with champions VS champions, trophies and golden tickets all on the line for a huge moment leading into what could be the biggest moment ever.

My Score: 9/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

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AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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