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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/1/24)

2024 is Raw!

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What a way to start a New Year!

Raw starts 2024 right from Day One, with a WWE World Heavyweight Championship grudge match! Will there be a new champion with the New Year?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax; Nia wins.
  • Jey Uso & Kofi Kingston VS Imperium; Jey & Kofi win, by referee stoppage.
  • The Awesome Truth VS Dominik Mysterio & JD McDonagh; The Awesome Truth wins.
  • WWE Women’s World Championship: Rhea Ripley VS Ivy Nile; Rhea wins and retains the title.
  • Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark VS Natalya & Tegan Nox; Shayna & Zoey win.
  • WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins VS Drew McIntyre; Rollins wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

Michael Cole & Wade Barrett are in the ring.

They welcome San Diego to Raw Day One, and Michael says it will be a massive night. Two world title matches, a number of first-time-ever matches, and even Miz TV with the Judgment Day! But biggest of all, the main event is Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins VS Drew McIntyre for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship! Rollins hasn’t been pinned or submitted in roughly a year, will McIntyre be the one to change that? And then the opportunity of a lifetime for the Diamond Pitbull as Ivy Nile challenges the fearsome Rhea Ripley!

And then an internet lead to HHH tweeting out, “Not going to confirm or deny the rumors of a former WWE Champion appearing at Raw Day One, but I will say to stay tuned.” Turns out, it IS confirmed, so just who is it coming back to the WWE? And Cody Rhodes will speak on where he’s headed on the Road to WrestleMania later tonight, but first…

Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax!

The Man has come around to San Diego, ready to finally settle things with The Irresistible Force! This has been over five YEARS in the making, but will Becky finally shut Nia up? Or will Nia look to break through The Big Time?

The bell rings and the fans rally up. Becky and Nia talk some trash, then Nia shoves Becky. Becky SLAPS Nia! Fans fire up for Becky even though Nia’s the hometown girl. Nia takes a swing, Becky grabs the arm, but Nia stays on her feet. Nia shoves Becky away, Becky clinches but Nia shoves her again. Nia runs up, into a BOOT! Becky goes up and up and CROSSBODIES, but into Nia’s arms! Nia fireman’s carries, but Becky slips free to ENZIGURI! Fans fire up, Becky runs back in, but into a scoop and SLAM! Nia roars, Becky goes to a corner, and fans boo. Nia soaks up the heat, runs up, and she SPLASHES Becky!

Becky flops over, Nia mocks the fans, then she drops a BIG elbow! Nia taunts Becky, stalks her to ropes, and then CHOKES her! The ref counts, Nia lets off, and fans rally up for Becky more. Nia storms up on Becky, drags her up, but Becky JAWBREAKERS free! And BOOTS again! Becky baits Nia into a corner to send her into buckles! Becky comes back to fire forearms, bob ‘n’ weave, then fire more shots! Fans fire up with Becky and she UPPERCUTS, SOBATS and runs. Nia swings, misses, but then picks Becky up for a BEARHUG! Becky fights and sunset flips, but Nia stays up! Becky avoids the hip drop to then run and NECK SNAPPER! Cover, ONE!!

Becky is surprised while Nia is frustrated. Becky hurries to her feet while Nia goes to a corner. Becky runs in to forearm! And then she clinches, but Nia throws elbows. Nia bumps Becky off buckles, Becky BOOTS her again! Becky goes up, and hits DIAMOND DUST! Nia wobbles, into a SHOTGUN! Nia hits buckles again, Becky runs up, but Nia puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Nia, climbs, and MISSILE DROPKICKS! High stack, TWO! Nia is still in this while Raw goes picture in picture.

Becky keeps her cool as she goes after Nia. Becky KICKS Nia in the side, steps on her, then goes up the ropes. Becky aims, leaps, but Nia gets under! Nia fireman’s carries, SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Becky hangs tough and Nia is frustrated. Nia storms up on Becky, fireman’s carries again, and then goes up a corner! Becky fights with elbows, then SUPER SUNET BOMBS! Cover, TWO!! Nia survives but both women are down after that huge move! Becky crawls her way over to ROCK Nia with forearm after forearm! Becky whips, Nia reverses and CLOBBERS Becky! Nia then drags Becky to LEG DROP, brother! Cover, TWO!! Becky survives and Nia is furious!

Nia stalks Becky to ropes, but Becky gets Nia in the ropes to KICK, and ROUNDHOUSE, and then Becky climbs a corner. But Nia ROCKS her first! Nia climbs up after Becky, but Becky throws headbutts! Becky sends Nia down, adjusts, and Raw returns to single picture as Becky hits the MOLLY-GO-ROUND! Cover, TWO!! Becky is surprised, but then hurries to think on what to do next. The fans rally, Becky storms up but Nia YANKS her into ropes! Fans boo but Nia has Becky on the apron! Nia runs up, but the leg drop misses! Nia clutches the hips, and Becky WRECKS her with a dropkick! Becky leaps, but Nia body shots in return!

Nia kisses the fist, she takes aim, but Becky ducks! Nia punches POST!! Becky fires off forearms, Nia HEADBUTTS, and she shakes out the bad hand. Nia runs up, CANNONBALL but Becky moves! Nia only gets barriers! The ring count is 5 of 10, then 7. Becky slides in, then waits on Nia. Nia hurries in at 9.5! Becky huffs and puffs and goes up the corner! Becky drops the MAN’S LEG!! Cover, TWO!! Nia is still in this, but Becky gets the arm! DISARM-HER!! Nia endures, reaches out, powers up and rolls Becky to a stack! TWO, and Becky has an ARMBAR!! Nia flails, reaches out, rolls, but Becky makes it a TRIANGLE HOLD!

Nia deadlifts Becky, Becky throws hands, but Nia SITOUT POWERBOMBS!! High stack, TWO!?! Becky survives and Nia is shocked! San Diego is thunderous, “This is Awesome!” Nia storms up on Becky, drags her over and puts her in a drop zone. Nia climbs, but Becky CHOP BLOCKS the leg! And again! And again! Becky climbs up after Nia, fans fire up, but Nia throws elbows! Nia fireman’s carries! SUPER SAMOAN DROP!!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Becky survives and no one knows how! San Diego is thunderous again and Nia looms over Becky. Nia stalks Becky, drags her back up, then SMACKS her off the mat!

Nia has Becky in the drop zone again, stands on Becky before she goes up the corner, but Becky springs up to SHOVE Nia down! Nia lands on the apron, Becky hauls her up into the ropes to fire UPPERCUTS, SOBAT, and HAMMER FISTS! The ref has Becky back off, but then Becky comes back for a GUILLO- UPPERCUT!! Nia’s hand makes contact! Nia climbs up again, for the A-NIA-LATOR!! Cover, NIA WINS!!

Winner: Nia Jax, by pinfall

Fans boo but Nia shouts back that no one can stop her! The Man has a busted lip, what is she to do now on the Road to WrestleMania?

 

Cody Rhodes is here!

San Diego fires up and sings along as The American Nightmare makes his way to the ring, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gives the weight belt to the young fans right by ringside, then “WHOA~ OH~!” has more pyro. The fans chant for Cody while he gets the mic. “So, San Diego… Whaddya wanna talk about?” Cody has the privilege to be the first superstar to officially welcome the fans to this special Day One edition of Monday Night Raw. “It’s a New Year, folks like to talk about their goals, where they’d like to be in 2024. But admittedly… I’m a little stuck. And what I’ve gotten stuck on is Shinsuke Nakamura.”

Fans boo the King of Strong Style but Cody doesn’t want them to get him wrong. Shinsuke is a force to be reckoned with in the ring, but with his rendition of The Nightmare Before Christmas, Cody expected something more… sophisticated. Cody isn’t stuck because of what Nakamura said about his family, that comes with the territory. No, Cody is not stuck on Nakamura because he tried to blind Cody with poisoned mist. Cody fought blind and was just fine. Cody is stuck on Nakamura because this should be OVER. The fans rally for Cody again and he says, “This should be over and Shinsuke, I’m going to give you the opportunity to finish it… tonight.”

The fans cheer as Cody tells Shinsuke to bring the poison mist, the poison words, and whatever makes him feel he can stop Cody. Because this ends, and it ends right now! Shinsuke tells Cody from the tron, “I never thought it’d be so easy to get into your head, and to become the author of your final chapter. I have whispered the plot in your ear, pushed your character to the bring, page by page. I have blinded you, so you cannot see the ending. Cody, naturally, we will fight again. But your story does not end tonight. I want to give The American Nightmare one more week to dream.

“Next week, Monday Night Raw, I become what you could never be. I finish your story! Then I close your book.” Then Nakamura sprays the red mist at the camera! Fans boo but it would see the King of Strong Style is still playing games. Will Cody be the one to end this next week so he can clear his Road to WrestleMania?

 

Jey Uso & Kofi Kingston VS Imperium!

Main Event Jey helped Kofi Klaus put Ludwig Kaiser & Giovanni Vinci on the naughty list, and so now they will both look to start 2024 putting Imperium in their place! Will these former rivals make a formidable team? Or will the Impeccable German & Pride of Italy make Der Ring General proud?

Raw returns as Imperium makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Vinci starts against Kofi. They circle, tie up, and Vinci wrenches to a hammerlock. Vinci wrenches again, but Kofi rolls, handsprings and sweeps to a SPALSH! Cover, ONE, but Kofi stays on Vinci. Kofi wrenches, but Vinci knees low. Vinci whips, Kofi reverses but Vinci ducks ‘n’ dodges and BODY CHECKS Kofi! Fans boo but Vinci smiles as he stomps Kofi. Kofi goes to a corner but Vinci is on him with forearms. Tag to Kaiser, Imperium mugs Kofi, but fans rally up. Kofi fights back but Kaiser CLUBS him down! Kaiser eggs Kofi on then stands him up.

Kaiser whips Kofi to the corner but Kofi DECKS Vinci! Kaiser blocks a boot to say “NEIN!” and UPPERCUT! Kaiser says this is HIS ring, but the fans boo. Kaiser smirks as he stalks Kofi to a corner. Kaiser stomps a mudhole in, then lets off as the ref counts. Kaiser whips corner to corner, Kofi goes up and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Kaiser bails out, Kofi builds speed, but Vinci trips him up! Fans boo as the ref misses it, and Kaiser POSTS Kofi! Tag to Vinci and Kofi is stuck in ropes. Imperium run side to side to DOUBLE DROPKICK at the corner! Fans boo as Imperium stands over Kofi, but Jey rushes in, right as Raw goes picture in picture.

Jey coaches Kofi up but the ref has everyone stay back. Kaiser soaks up the heat while Vinci drags Kofi up. Vinci scoops Kofi to DROP him on the desk! Vinci then puts Kofi in, Kaiser mocks the “New! Day Rocks!” clapping, and Vinci stays between Kofi and Jey. Kofi throws body shots and haymakers, but Vinci knees low. Vinci whips, then SPINEBUSTERS Kofi down! Tag to kaiser, he runs to PENALTY KICK! Kaiser taunts Jey, has the ref keep Jey back, then Kaiser goes back for Kofi. Kaiser drags Kofi around, scrapes his soles off Kofi’s face, then taunts Jey more. The ref keeps Jey back, and Kaiser drags Kofi up.

Kaiser whips Kofi to a corner, runs up and UPPERCUTS! And GAMANGIRIS! And BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO! Kaiser then still stays between Kofi and Jey, and then knuckle locks to bend Kofi’s fingers. Kofi throws body shots and haymakers then a HEADBUTT, then a JAWBREAKER! But Kaiser holds onto the wristlock! Kofi throws hands, reaches for Jey, and repeat! Kofi and Jey are fingertips away, but Kaiser throws Kofi by his hair! Jey protests, the ref reprimands, but Kaiser tags Vinci. Vinci has Kofi under the ropes for a ROPE GUILLOTINE! Cover, TWO! Kofi is still in this but Vinci kicks him around.

Raw returns to single picture as Vinci stands Kofi up to DECK him! Vinci eggs Kofi on, the fans rally, and Vinci shoves him. Kofi ROCKS Vinci, backhands, HEADBUTTS, but Vinci kicks low! Vinci whips Kofi but Kofi reverse! Vinci goes up and leaps, but Kofi DROPKICKS him out of the air! Fans fire up while both men are down! Kofi and Vinci crawl, the “YEET! YEET! YEET!” starts up already, hot tag to Kofi, but the medic is checking Vinci. The medic calls it! Vinci can’t continue!

Winners: Jey Uso & Kofi Kingston, by referee stoppage

This isn’t how anyone wants the match to end, but Vinci is in a bad way after that shot. Jey & Kofi will move on from here, will they use this to head for bigger and better things? As for Imperium, will they be down a man to start 2024?

 

Ivy Nile speaks.

“All my life, I’ve been considered the underdog. And honestly, I love it. I love the fact that people doubt me, because it makes it that much sweeter when I beat the odds. I’ve push myself every single day and it’s brought me to the biggest match of my career.” Rhea Ripley says she’s here to stay, but when Ivy overthrows her to become the NEW Women’s World Champion, “everybody’s gonna see that this Pitbull is a different breed.” Ivy is ready to take a bite out of Mami, will Judgment Day not be as dominant as they think?

 

The Miz is here!

The Hollywood A-Lister is headed to the ring, ready to host a very special edition of MizTV. The entirety of The Judgment Day will join him, what will Miz have to ask Rhea, Finn, Damian, Dominik & JD? We find out after the break.

Raw returns and The Miz says “HAPPY NEW YEAR~!” The fans cheer and Miz says it is time to get this started. Welcome to the Most Must-See WWE Talk Show in History, MizTV! And this is a first-ever Day One edition, so you know it’s good. There are rumors about a former WWE Champion showing up, and Miz has a few speculations, but he has to get to his guests, they have been begging to be on the show. So without further ado, welcome the “self-proclaimed” most dominant faction in WWE today, it’s THE JUDGMENT DAY! Fans boo as… Wait, R-Truth is making his way out here? Fans cheer that!

Truth, in another self-edited edition of the Judgment Day shirt, makes his way out here and steps into the ring. Truth gets a mic to ask San Diego, “WHAT’S UP?!” Miz says the most likeable member is here! Miz does have to ask, though, where’s everyone else? Truth swears they were all behind him just now. MIz asks if Truth is seeing invisible people again. Fans chant for Lil’ Jimmy and Truth asks if he’s here. Miz says no, no Lil’ Jimmy is here. Truth, have a seat. Not so fast, Miz. Truth’s been waiting all year to say this. “ALL RISE for the Judgment Day!” The fans do rise, because it’s Truth. Miz can’t believe that works better than when Priest does it.

But then, what is Truth’s role within The Judgment Day? Truth’s glad Miz asked. Truth has manyy, many, many roles. It’s complicated. Today, he is doing PR. Last week, he was doing administrative work. There is always work to be done. Nobody likes The Judgment Day, so Truth is trying to rehabilitate their image and make them more likeable for everybody. But then JD McDonagh walks out and says this has to end tonight! Dirty Dom is with JD, and JD says Truth is NOT Judgment Day. Not the AV guy, not the assistant, and NO MEMBER of Judgment Day would be caught dead on MizTV.

Dom starts to speak and the fans boo. Dom says “We are the most dominant faction in ALL of WWE!” Truth asks San Diego, “Y’all see what I’m saying? Dirty Dom, he getting booed in his own hometown.” Dom & JD steps in as Truth says this ain’t right. Not to cut anyone off, but JD, you’re not even IN Judgment Day! Remember? Truth won the Loser Leaves Judgment Day match, so begone. JD says Truth doesn’t make the stipulations, but Miz says Truth actually has a good point. Truth won the Miracle on 34th Street Fight, the stipulation was clear, and so… What’s JD doing out here?

Dom starts up again and fans boo again. Dom says Miz wants to talk about losers… The fans boo louder! Dom says show him respect! That only gets him booed more. But Dom says Miz spent his 2023 on his back, getting destroyed by Gunther! Miz apologizes, but Dom has 20 THOUSAND people booing him, and so Miz can’t even hear Dom, while Dom has a microphone. But okay, yeah, 2023 wasn’t great for Miz. But Miz is more relevant now than ever, and through all the adversity, he’s done what he always has: performed at a high main-event level, creating memories and moments! JD plays the tiniest violin.

Miz says the only moment we can recall is Dom getting spanked by Daddy Rey! Fans cheer that! Miz is giving the 619 chants the respect they deserve. So Dom got spanked by Daddy, dragged around by Mami, and more recently, the holiday tour saw Dom getting whooped all over by CM Punk. Dom says he is done talking, and the losing streak of Miz continues into 2024! Dom & JD will take on Miz & Truth, RIGHT NOW!! Miz wants to know, does everyone want to see that match? The fans cheer! In that case, 2024 is full of comebacks. It will be Dom & JD VS the reunited AWESOME TRUTH! LET’S GO!!

Truth says hold on, hold on, wait. He’s in Judgment Day, isn’t he supposed to be tight with Dom? No. Well, Truth ain’t tagging with JD. Miz knows that, Truth is taking with MIZ. Oh, okay. Got it. One of those strange bedfellow things. Truth will follow Dom’s lead, wink wink. Truth tags with Miz, and on behalf of The Judgment Day, they accept! JD takes a swing, Truth dodges, and Miz clotheslines the Irish Ace out! Dom is freaking out, Truth thinks he and Dom are chummy, but Dom gets out to be by JD’s side. Somehow, someway, this match is happening, will the Awesome Truth have an awesome reunion?

The Awesome Truth VS Dominik Mysterio & JD McDonagh!

Raw returns and the match is underway as Miz and Dom speed up. Miz kitchen sink knees Dom, brings him over to the corner, but Truth is in the neutral corner? Now Truth doesn’t even know where he’s supposed to be! Miz tags Truth, the ref won’t allow it, and then JD gets away with an ENZIGURI! Dom headlocks, tags JD, and they mug Miz. JD & Dom double whip then DOUBLE ELBOW Miz down! Cover, TWO! JD drags Miz up to back suplex, but Miz lands on his feet! Miz BOOTS JD, ducks ‘n’ dodges then RANAS! Fans fire up as Miz keeps JD from Dom, and he points to Truth! The fans cheer, Miz tags Truth in!

Miz snapmares JD, runs and PENALTY KICKS! Truth runs to break it down, and LEG DROP! JD flounders, “WHAT’S UP?!” JD kicks Truth, whips him away, then runs up. Truth UPPERCUTS JD away, ROCKS him with a haymaker, then scoops. JD slips free shoves, but Truth ducks ‘n’ dodges and TORNILLO CROSSBODIES! “WHAT’S UP?!” Truth hits the splits, runs up on JD and SPLASHES! JD falls, Truth covers, TWO! Truth drags JD up, reaches out to Dom, but Dom tells Truth they’re NOT partners. JD throws Truth down by his hair! Miz is confused as we all are, and JD puts Truth on ropes to CHOKE him!

The fans boo, the ref counts, and JD lets off at 4. JD tags Dom, Dom dials it up, 619! Fans boo but Dom & JD soak up the heat while Raw goes to break.

Truth flops to the floor, Dom taunts him and stomps him, then Dom drags Truth up. Dom puts Truth in the ring, gives some Latino Heat, then slingshot sentons! Cover, TWO! Truth has the ropes, Dom is annoyed, and he tags in JD. JD brings Truth up to snap suplex, cover, TWO! JD is annoyed but he drags Truth back up. JD bumps Truth off buckles, stomps him down and digs his boot in. The ref counts, JD lets off, and JD storms back up. JD brings Truth around but Truth throws body shots! JD CLUBS Truth down, then cravats. JD snapmares Truth into a chinlock and he squeezes tight. Miz rallies for Truth as Truth fights up, but JD throws Truth back down!

JD drops a knee on Truth’s head! And back to the chinlock! Truth endures again, fans rally up, and Truth fights to his feet. Truth throws elbows and body shots, but JD shoves him away. JD gets a sleeper but Truth powers out to SLEEPER in return! But JD JAWBREAKERS free! Miz reaches out as Truth flounders, and makes the tag! Miz rallies on JD with haymakers, fires off in a corner, and the ref backs Miz off. Raw returns to single picture, Miz runs corner to corner and A-LIST LARIATS! Dom runs up but Miz BOOTS him down! Miz ROUNDHOUSES JD away, springboards and CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally up for Miz, Truth and Dom go to the same corner? Dom keeps telling Truth he’s not Judgment Day! The ref asks what’s going on, but Miz hits a SPIKE BULLDOG on JD! Cover, Dom breaks it! Dom whips, Miz TOSSES Dom out and fans fire up! But JD HEADBUTTS Miz down! Truth reaches out and JD tags him, not realizing it isn’t Dom! The ref tells Truth he’s not legal, Truth says he’s in Judgment Day! Dom says fine, this is Truth’s moment. They stand Miz up and Truth has to decide. Fans say “NO! NO! NO!” Truth winds up, says sorry Miz, he loves you! But then Miz moves and Truth DECKS JD!

Miz BOOTS Dom down, Truth helps JD up and says, “YOU’RE not in Judgment Day!” Feed to the SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! Cover, Awesome Truth wins!!

Winners: The Awesome Truth, by pinfall

Truth apologizes to Dom but Miz celebrates with him. Truth winks at Dom, but the only one who’s out of the loop is Truth! Will it ever sink in that he is NOT Judgment Day?

 

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance party for the New Year.

The Life of the Party rented out a place so they could celebrate becoming WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, but the former champs are looking to crash it. Chelsea Green & Piper Niven step over the ropes, and they tell KC Squared not to get too comfortable with their titles. Chelsea & Piper are bypassing “the corrupt” Adam Pearce and going straight to “Nicholas Aldis” to get their rematch! Kayden says whoa, whoa, Big Red. Don’t come in here killing the vibe. Because Kayden & Katana will be fighting champs, unlike a certain duo. They’ll gladly talk with Pearce to hash out a rematch.

But for tonight, this is about the win. Then they SPLASH Piper & Chelsea with their drinks! Security gets the Hot Mess and Scottish Viper out of there, will Chelsea & Piper continue to be party poopers until they’re back on top?

 

WWE Women’s World Championship: Rhea Ripley VS Ivy Nile!

Mami doesn’t like it when people question her dominance, so she is giving the Diamond Pitbull her one chance at the title. Will nothing stop Rhea from eradicating Ivy? Or will the Diamond Mine finally have some gold again?

Raw returns and Rhea makes her entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Mami’s still on top in 2024!

The bell rings and fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, Rhea powers Ivy back but then Ivy powers Rhea back! Rhea throws Ivy down, taunts Ivy and the fans cheer. But then Ivy fireman’s carries Rhea! Rhea elbows free, sweeps the legs, then basement dropkicks Ivy down! Rhea drags Ivy up, whips, but Ivy goes up and manages to get over. Ivy blocks a boot, ROCKS Rhea, whips her but Rhea reverses again. Rhea runs in, but into a BOOT! Rhea returns but Ivy slips out of the way! Ivy runs up, Rhea puts her on the apron, but Ivy counter punches! Ivy climbs up, CROSSBODIES, cover, ONE!!

Rhea is up, Ivy dodges her but Rhea BOOTS her down! Fans fire up while Rhea paces. Rhea taunts Ivy, pushes her around, and then CLUBS her! Ivy rises, Rhea CLUBS her again, then talks trash. Rhea whips, but Ivy RANAS! Rhea goes to a corner, runs back in, but Ivy gets under the boot to hit a SAIDO! Rhea bails out and is furious, but Raw goes picture in picture.

Rhea storms around, the ring count climbs, and Rhea considers her options. Rhea lets the count climb so she can compose herself, then she slides back in. Rhea runs up but Ivy dumps her out! Ivy then builds speed to WRECK Rhea with a dropkick! Ivy SMACKS Rhea off the apron, but Rhea throws body shots! Rhea goes to return the favor but Ivy blocks the apron bump! Ivy ROCKS Rhea with forearms but Rhea throws body shots. Rhea CLUBS Ivy, then Electric Chair Lifts! Flashback to a few weeks ago, and Rhea SLAMS Ivy on the apron! Rhea shoves Ivy back in the ring, grins and blows a kiss to the ref. Ivy sits up in a daze but Rhea KICKS her in the back!

Rhea pushes Ivy around, taunts her some more, then drags her back up. Rhea whips, CLUBS Ivy in the back, then soaks up the cheers and jeers. Rhea shoves and CLUBS Ivy again, and then again! Ivy drops to her knees but Rhea looms over her. Rhea talks more trash, SLAPS Ivy, and then pie faces her! Ivy snarls, Rhea makes her look at her, but Ivy SLAPS back! Rhea drags Ivy up, but Ivy JAWBREAKERS! Rhea BUZZSAWS in return! Cover, TWO! Ivy is hanging in there and Rhea is growing frustrated. Rhea throws hands down on Ivy, then sits her up for the abdominal stretch! Ivy fights but Rhea puts on the hold!

Raw returns to single picture as Ivy endures. Rhea digs her elbow into ribs, and the fans rally up. Ivy fights up, moves around, and wrenches out to ROCK Rhea! And ROCK her again! Rhea DROPKICKS Ivy down! Ivy flops out of the ring while fans fire up! Rhea hurries out to get Ivy up, for another Electric Chair Lift! But Ivy slips free, to GERMAN SUPLEX to the floor! Fans fire up again, Ivy huffs and puffs and the ring count is 5 of 10. Ivy rolls into the ring, Rhea follows at 8. Ivy runs up to KICK! KICK! Rhea blocks one but not the DRAGON WHIP! Ivy runs, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS! Ivy fires up, runs Around the World, CALF KICK!

Ivy keeps moving, POP-UP LEG LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Ivy huffs and puffs as she brings Rhea up. Ivy tries a facelock but Rhea throws body shots, Rhea throws knees, then whips. Ivy tilt-o-whirls again, for a DDT! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up while Rhea is dazed and Ivy is snarling. Ivy drags Rhea up again, gut wrenches, but Rhea fights it! Rhea throws elbows, back suplexes, but Ivy lands on her feet! Ivy staggers to a corner, dodges the splash, but Rhea body scissors to HEADBUTT! Rhea goes up, and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Cover, TWO! Ivy is still in this and Rhea is beside herself! Rhea fumes as she looms over Ivy.

Rhea drags Ivy up, brings her around, pump handle and RIP- NO, Ivy slips free! ROUNDHOUSE! Gut wrench SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Ivy scowls but she brings Rhea back up. Ivy fireman’s carries but Rhea fights free! Rhea kicks low, stomps a foot, then SMASHES Ivy off a knee! Then DISCUS LARIAT! Rhea drags Ivy back up, Atomic FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Rhea argues with the ref but the count was fair. Rhea stalks Ivy to ropes, brings her back up, and then sends her into a corner. Rhea RAMS into Ivy, the fans duel, and Rhea puts Ivy up top. Rhea ROCKS Ivy, positions her, then ROCKS her again.

Rhea climbs, brings Ivy up, and fans are torn. But Ivy fights with body shots! Ivy blocks a punch to ROCK Rhea, and ROCK her again! Ivy bumps Rhea off buckles, then goes up and over, SUPER SUNEST- NO, Rhea holds on! Rhea swings, misses, and Ivy uses that arm to SMACK Rhea off buckles! SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Cover, TWO!! Rhea survives and Ivy can’t believe it! Ivy stands, “This is Awesome!” and Ivy KICKS and KICKS and ROCKS and ROCKS and BUZZSAWS Rhea! Rhea wobbles, falls over, and Ivy hurries up top! Ivy aims to DIVING- HEADBUTT!! Rhea takes Ivy outta the air, then sits Ivy up for a V-TRIGGER!

Rhea then reels Ivy in, pump handle, RIPTIDE!! Cover, Rhea wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s World Champion)

The Diamond Pitbull put up the fight of her career, but it still just wasn’t enough against such a powerful force! Rhea still reigns, who will ever take this title from her?

 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the returning…

JINDER MAHAL! Wait, all this hype was just for the Modern Day Maharaja? But he is a former WWE Champion, and he goes to the ring to get a mic. Fans boo but Jinder says, “You have the audacity to be disappointed? Disappointed at the return of the Modern Day Maharaja? Let me remind you, I’m a past and future WWE Champion. Thousands of superstars have competed in this ring. FIFTY WWE Champions, and my name is at the top of that list. The only thing disappointing is what has become of the once great nation of the United States of America.” Fans boo even more but Jinder says it is disgusting!

Look around! This is unity? Do you feel united?! “You people have never been this divided. Your politics, your news, your social media, it’s all the same. Ignorance, misinformation.” The fans chant “USA! USA!” and Jinder mocks them. This country was once a superpower, and now it’s a joke! But Jinder will unify you, he will be your Unifier! And if you don’t believe him, just shut up and listen. Jinder says in Punjabi and then says, “Exactly my point.” Finally, they’re all united on one thing: they stood loud and proud and booed your own national anthem in Punjabi. Yes, that is what he did. That is a new low even for San Diego.

They boo because he looks and speaks different. Unlike the Iron Sheik or other superstars who have exposed America, Jinder is different. He speaks with intelligence, class and truth! So he will again speak in Punjabi, but not about America’s national anthem. He will instead speak to what the world thinks- “IF YA SMELLL~! What The Rock is cooking!” Now THERE is a former WWE Champion fans are excited to see! The People’s Champion makes his way out, fist bumps the fans, and heads to the ring. The Rock stands on the corner as the fans cheer, then he gets a mic of his own. Fans are all fired up as The Rock stare Jinder down.

The Rock says, “Ohhh, you are in trouble~ tonight!” Fans fire up for that! But before that, Rock wants to make something clear to Jinder. Jinder is right about one thing: Jinder is NOT The Iron Sheik. RIP Sheiky Baby. The Rock knew and loved The Iron Sheik, as did we all! The fans cheer that. And if Sheik were here right now, he’d say, “Rock Bubba, who is this no good dirty SOB bastard?” Jinder says of course The Rock is here. The Rock magically appears whenever the WWE Universe is being insulted. The People’s Champion~! The champion to all these jingoistic people! That’s a real word, look it up.

But Jinder says if he were The Rock, he’d be ashamed and disgusted with himself to represent these people! Fans boo but The Rock says he is not ashamed. In fact, Rock is damn proud to be The People’s Champion. The fans cheer that! The Rock is also damn proud to be an American! And he’s especially damn proud to say, “Finally… The Rock has come back to San Diego!” Fans cheer that, too! Rock says Jinder runs his mouth about the truth and why fans boo. Here’s the truth: The fans don’t boo because of how Jinder looks, or how Jinder talks in Punjabi. No, they boo because… Wait, what’s that Sheik? Rock looks up and says yeah, he’ll get to that in a second.

Rock says yeah, he’s gonna tell Jinder now. Jinder gets booed because he’s the biggest A-hole walking God’s Green Earth!! Fans cheer that, too! Jinder scowls but The Rock continues to say that there’s that look. That angry face that Jinder has all the time. We’re all familiar with resting b*tch face, but this is the Raging A-Hole Face. Why so angry, Jinder? If Rock had to guess, it’s that no one likes Jinder and he’s not funny. In fact, if Jinder were one of The Rock’s movies, he’d be Baywatch. Well Jinder’s never seen it. No one else did, either, so shut your mouth when The Rock’s talking. Wait, oh, hold on. Jinder didn’t go see Baywatch?

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU DIDN’T SEE BAYWATCH! What matters is Jinder comes out here, has the gall to actually say “America is a joke.” Fans boo that but Jinder smirks. The Rock says it ain’t a joke to him, and it ain’t a joke to these people. And it sure ain’t a joke to those watching at home. The fans chant “USA! USA!” again. The Rock says, “Here’s what else isn’t a joke: the fact that you can come out here and run our country down, free of consequence from our government. It’s called Freedom of Speech.

“But here’s the thing, Jack. You can’t ever come out here, in The People’s Ring, in front of the people, with The People’s Champ in the building, run our country down free of consequence from The Rock.” Jinder says the Modern Day Maharaja- No, Rock knows, Jinder is the Maharaja. But tonight and from here on out, he’s no longer that. No no no, he is the Day One Douchebag! The fans echo that, and The Rock says they work in sync. They gave The Rock an idea. Jinder is the Unifier? The only man to unify them all? The People’s Champ is gonna show him how he unifies the people. In about 15 seconds, here’s what happens.

This side here will chant “Day One.” Then the other side will chant “Douchebag.” Ready? The fans sure are. In that case, three, two, one. “DAY ONE!” “DOUCHEBAG!” And they keep on going! Jinder scowls, The Rock smiles, and The Rock eventually has the crowd calm down. “My God, that was fun.” But one last gift for Jinder and it’s special. Since Jinder loves the National Anthem, Rock will sing Jinder a verse. This is what we call the People’s Welcome, and it goes like this. And the rocket’s red glare~, San Diego’s aware~, that you~ are jacked as hell~. But your balls still aren’t there~.

You’re an angry toxic douchebag, who clearly has no class~. So you’ve left The Rock no choice~! But to whoop your candy~ ass~! Jinder attacks first! Fans boo as Jinder stomps away in a corner! Jinder throws off his jacket, runs up, but The Rock returns fire! Fans fire up as The Rock whips, wrenches, and SPINEBUSTERS! And the fans are thunderous as that sets Jinder up for… THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW! Jinder writhes, The Rock takes off his belt and LASHES Jinder with it! The Rock gets the mic back to say, “San Diego. I love you. Happy New Year.

And oh, by the way, one more thing. Tonight, after all this ass kicking, The Rock’s gonna go out into San Diego, I’m a little hungry. I’m gonna go get something to eat. When The Rock goes out to get something to eat tonight in San Diego, should The Rock sit in a booth? Or should The Rock sit at the bar? Yeah, The Rock loves the bar, too. Or should The Rock sit… at the head of the table?” Fans are going nuts!! Is that The Rock saying what it sounds like he’s saying?! The Rock loves them, too, and that’s just what he thought. “IF YA SMELLLLL~ what The Rock is cooking!” Is the People’s Champion going to make sure he becomes an undisputed champion?

 

Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark VS Natalya & Tegan Nox!

Despite what Chelsea Green & Piper Niven want, The Queen of Spades & The Hunter are hunting their shot at those WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. But it would seem, so are The Queen of Spades & Welsh Firecracker. Who will be primed and ready for their shot at whoever have the belts after that rematch?

The teams sort out and Natty starts against Zoey. Natty hits an arm-drag right out the gate, and has the armlock. Zoey fights up, Natty whips but Zoey reverses. Zoey runs in, Natty dodges, to then sit Zoey down and run. Tag to Nox, Nox runs in to PENALTY KICK! Tag back to Natty, she whips but Zoey ducks ‘n’ dodges. Shayna tags in, Zoey trips Natty and Shayna KNEES Natty down! Cover, TWO! Shayna stays between Natty & Nox while Raw goes picture in picture.

Shayna taunts Natty, brings her around and rains down forearms from all sides. Shayna lets off to taunt Nox, then she wrenches and isolates Natty’s arm. Shayna lets her hair down to STOMP the arm! Natty clutches the elbow but Shayna drags Natty up. Shayna bumps Natty off buckles, taunts Nox, then runs up to KNEE Natty down! Tag to Zoey and she spinning sentons! Cover, TWO! Zoey clamps onto Natty with a chinlock and grinds her down. Natty endures, stands up and throws elbows. Natty arm-drags free but Zoey keeps her from Nox! Zoey RAMS Natty into a corner, tags Shayna, and they mug Natty.

Shayna snapmares Natty, KICKS her in the back, covers, TWO! Shayna stalks Natty, brings her into a wristlock and then hammerlock. Natty still reaches for Nox, but Shayna throws Natty down by her hair! Shayna grins and brings Natty up again for another wristlock. Natty arm-drags free, then runs up, but Shayna catches her. Shayna runs Natty all the way into the other corner! Tag to Zoey, she stomps a mudhole in, then tags Shayna. Shayna stomps a mudhole, tags Zoey, and we get another mudhole. Tag back to Shayna, she stomps that mudhole some more, but then Natty ROCKS Zoey and ROCKS Shayna!

Natty DECKS Zoey, BOOTS Shayna, then slides under! Raw returns to single picture as Shayna grabs a leg. Natty BOOTS Shayna away, hot tag to Nox! Nox rallies on Shayna, BLASTS Zoey, then fires off hands on Shayna! Shayna shoves but Nox returns to rally with clotheslines! Zoey runs in, Nox dodges her and UPPERCUTS her down! HEADBUTT for Shayna, Candice & Indi are watching as Nox GOURD BUSTERS! Fans fire up for Nxo and she CANNONBALLS in the corner! Nox then climbs up and fans rally. Shayna stands, into the MOLLY-GO-ROUND! Cover, TWO!! Shayna escapes but Nox keeps her cool.

Nox aims, runs in, but no Shining Wizard! Nox ducks a roundhouse, facelocks, but Shayna fights the suplex to shove and ROUNDHOUSE! Natty returns to CLUB Shayna! Zoey SUPERKICKS Natty! Shayna tags Zoey in and they coordinate. GERMAN SUPLEX into the Z 360!! Cover, Zoey & Shayna win!

Winners: Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark, by pinfall

Shayna & Zoey get a great win to start 2024! The Women’s Tag Division is getting stacked, will the party soon be over for Kayden & Katana?

 

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins VS Drew McIntyre!

The Visionary and the Scottish Warrior went 1v1 at Crown Jewel just a couple months ago, but that clearly didn’t end anything. In fact, it perhaps was the beginning of McIntyre no longer caring what anyone thought about him. Will he do whatever he must to once again be world champion? Or will nothing stop this from being Monday Night Rollins?

Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The fans sing along, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” and Rollins revels in it. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see whose year this really is!

The bell rings and Rollins BOOTS McIntyre! Rollins fires off hands, the ref back shim off, and McIntyre kicks low! And CHOPS! And ROCKS Rollins with haymakers! McIntyre whips, Rollins kicks him away, then he sends McIntyre out! McIntyre stagger sup, Rollins FLYING FOREARMS from the steps! Fans fire up and Rollins stands McIntyre up. McIntyre ROCKS Rollins, SMACKS him off the desk, then scoops to SNAKE EYES Rollins off it! McIntyre then Inverted Alabama Lifts, for the INVERTED- NO, Rollins grabs the apron skirt to fight it! Rollins kicks away on McIntyre, skins the cat, and then WRECKS McIntyre with a dropkick!

Rollins builds speed, and DIVES, but McIntyre catches him! OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY to the floor! McIntyre snarls and fans are torn while Raw goes picture in picture.

McIntyre hears the fans, shrugs it off, and he stalks Rollins. McIntyre drags Rollins up, SMACKS him off the steel steps, then pushes him into the ring. McIntyre storms in, DECKS Rollins, and Rollins goes to a corner. McIntyre CHOPS Rollins down, then looms over him. McIntyre hears the fans and shrugs, then brings Rollins up. Rollins throws hands and CHOPS McIntyre in return! And again, and again! Rollins whips, McIntyre reverses and he ELBOWS Rollins down! Cover, TWO! McIntyre is annoyed but he drags Rollins around, to stomp him down! Rollins goes to a corner, McIntyre has him in the ropes, and gives Rollins BEATS OF THE BODHRAIN!

McIntyre stops before ten to rob the fans of the fun, then he just rapid fire hammers Rollins to go way past TEN! Rollins sputters and falls to a corner, McIntyre waits as the ref checks, and then he goes out to drag Rollins to a corner. McIntyre digs his boot into Rollins’ head, pushing him against the post! McIntyre lets off as the ref counts, and then he storms up to the apron. Rollins throws hands! Rollins climbs up the ropes to rain down fists! Rollins gets to eight before McIntyre HOTSHOTS him down! Cover, TWO! McIntyre is annoyed but he stalks Rollins as he sputters. McIntyre stands Rollins up, to CHOP him to the corner!

McIntyre brings Rollins around but Rollins CHOPS! McIntyre CHOPS! Rollins CHOPS again! Raw returns to single picture as the CHOPS keep going! Fans “WOO~!” with every shot! McIntyre DOUBLE CHOPS Rollins down! McIntyre rains down fists on Rollins, stomps him, then lets off. McIntyre snarls and paces but the fans rally for Rollins. Rollins sits up, McIntyre eggs him on, and Rollins stands. Rollins counter punches McIntyre, and again, and again! Rollins fires off, whips, but McIntyre reverses to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Rollins writhes, McIntyre going after that well-known target.

Rollins sits up but McIntyre brings him around. Fireman’s carry, and then McIntyre climbs. Fans fire up as McIntyre tucks Rollins in, but Rollins fights around to SUNSET FLIP, and- NO, the back gives out! McIntyre deadlifts Rollins, but Rollins RANAS free! McIntyre runs back in, but Rollins POSTS him! McIntyre falls to the floor, Rollins rests in the ring, and the fans rally up. Rollins sees McIntyre rising, so he builds speed. Rollins FLIES! Direct hit with the tope conjilo and the fans fire up! Rollins writhes and flounders, his back being used as a weapon there. Rollins pushes McIntyre back in, then hurries to reel him in.

Rollins tries to suplex but McIntyre blocks! McIntyre suplexes, Rollins knees free. Rollins ducks ‘n dodges, tilt-o-whirl DDT! Rollins hurries up a corner, for the FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO! McIntyre survives and Rollins is a bit surprised. Rollins rises, “This is Awesome!” as Rollins LION- NO, McIntyre moves and Rollins lands on his feet, which only hurts the back! McIntyre runs up, Rollins sends him up and out! But McIntyre ROCKS Rollins, climbs up, but Rollins is right up after him! SUPERPLEX! Roll through and McIntyre hits FALCON ARROW!! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives the turnaround and Raw goes picture in picture again!

McIntyre and Rollins are both on the mat, and the ref checks Rollins. Rollins refuses to let his back take him out of this, that’s par for the course. McIntyre storms up to throw a haymaker! Rollins goes to ropes, McIntyre storms up on him, and McIntyre brings Rollins around to fireman’s carry. Rollins fights with elbows, then mule kicks! Rollins runs but McIntyre ELBOWS him! And then inverted Alabama Lift, for the INVERTED ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Rollins is still in this and McIntyre is beside himself. McIntyre shakes his head, glares at Rollins, and then looms over him. McIntyre drags Rollins up and puts him in a corner.

McIntyre CHOPS, then hoists Rollins up top. McIntyre CHOPS again, then climbs up. McIntyre brings Rollins up, but Rollins fights the lift! Rollins throws body shots, CLUBS at McIntyre’s legs, and then CLUBS away on McIntyre’s back! Rollins CLAWS McIntyre’s back, and McIntyre staggers away. McIntyre runs up to CLUB Rollins! Raw returns to single picture again as McIntyre fires hands. Rollins ROCKS McIntyre, reels him in, but McIntyre uses that to lift Rollins! SUPER WHITE NOISE!! Another shoutout to the Celtic Warrior, McIntyre covers, TWO!! Rollins survives and fans fire up! McIntyre sits up and makes his way back to Rollins.

McIntyre brings Rollins up as fans sing. McIntyre CHOPS Rollins, and Rollins stumbles about. Rollins CHOPS, McIntyre CHOPS again! Rollins ENZIGURIS! And mule kicks! And SUPERKICKS! Fans fire up, Rollins aims from a corner, and he runs in, but McIntyre dodges! Kick and FUTURE SHOCK!! Both men are down again, but McIntyre kips up! Fans fire up as the Scottish Terminator aims from a corner. Rollins rises, “THREE! TWO! ONE!” CLAY-NO, POP-UP POWERBOMB!! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre survives the sudden turnaround and Rollins is shocked! Rollins brings McIntyre to a drop zone and hurries up top!

Fans sing as Rollins steadies himself, for the PHOENIX- NO, Rollins has to bail out as McIntyre moves! But then Rollins dodges the Claymore! SUPERKICK! Tuck, underhooks, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?! Fans are shocked as McIntyre survives and both men are down again. AND HERE COMES DAMIAN PRIEST!! The Punisher has his Money in the Bank Contract, Dom watching his back! They bring their own ref, too, and go to tell the timekeeper! Rollins wants after Priest, but Rollins’ ref is busy talking with Dom’s ref, Priest CLOBBERS Rollins with the briefcase!! Priest then hurries to hand it over so he can cash- CLAYMORE!!

McIntyre stops Priest from finishing the transaction, and then he TOSSES Dom! McIntyre hurries back in, to CLAYMORE Rollins!!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!!! Rollins’ toes are on the ropes and McIntyre is livid!! He miscalculated by mere inches and that cost him certain victory! McIntyre RAMS Rollins into buckles, goes out to clear off the desk, and fans fire up again! McIntyre hurries to get Rollins out of the ring and over to the table! McIntyre puts Rollins on the table, climbs up to join him, and he scoops! But Rollins slips free! Kick and underhooks, PEDIGREE ON THE TABLE!! The table did NOT break!

Rollins puts McIntyre in, runs up, CURB STOMP!!! Cover, ROLLINS WINS!!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall (still WWE World Heavyweight Champion)

Priest’s attempt at stealing this from McIntyre still cost McIntyre, and Rollins grins. Rollins makes it through Day One, but is time running out for The Visionary as champion in 2024?


My Thoughts:

A great Day One edition of Raw, but it certainly could’ve been better. For one, The Rock making his return was a nice surprise, but did it have to be done this way? I do appreciate the bait ‘n’ switch with Jinder to troll the fans at first, but why did they have to take an “Anti-American gets put in his place” approach? I love America just like The Rock, but I don’t see the need to paint someone as the new “I’m a foreigner, so I assume you all dislike me” guy. And even that aside, this ended up being a copy-paste of how The Rock put Theory in his place with getting the crowd to chant an insult, The Rock brawling with the Heel and standing tall. I will say, The Rock subtly calling out Roman was a great move, can’t wait to see how we get to that match for Mania.

One thing I can’t hold against them tonight was the unplanned end for Kofi & Jey VS Imperium. The landing Vinci took from that anti-air dropkick was a rough one, so going into concussion protocol was totally warranted. I hope Vinci is okay, Imperium’s dysfunction story was going places. Really good promo from Cody and Nakamura, but I figured that they weren’t going to have it out tonight. And decent promo where KC Squared establishes their rematch with Chelsea & Piper. I would think KC Squared retain the titles to get Chelsea & Piper out of the way. Good tag match of Shayna & Zoey VS Natty & Nox, and I figured Shayna & Zoey would win. They’ll be next up on Raw as contenders, with Fyre & Dawn fighting Kabuki Warriors to represent SmackDown.

Great match out of Becky and Nia, but I did not think Nia was winning her. Great surprise, really, and puts the pressure on Becky to come back. I still expect them to have it out in the Women’s Royal Rumble match and Becky costs Nia the win. Great match from Rhea and Ivy, too, with Ivy looking great even in defeat. Rhea is definitely not losing before WrestleMania at this rate. She’ll probably have an epic showdown with like Becky, and even then, Rhea might still win to have two of the Four Horsewomen.

Hilarious stuff in the Judgment Day MizTV segment, because of course it all has to do with R-Truth. R-Truth is a comedic genius, I love how he kept changing corners in the tag match, and great win for The Awesome Truth. Awesome main event for the World Heavyweight Championship, and I was just hoping there’d be some attempt at a cash-in. A part of me really wanted McIntyre to win after that point, and I’m not sure what McIntyre is supposed to do now that he’s lost to Rollins twice. I’m hoping Priest can still successfully cash in for the title, but maybe he has to wait for Rollins to be in bad shape after a match at Royal Rumble or Elimination Chamber.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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