Tonight we get a fantastic matchup that no one probably anticipated wanting to see. But honestly, now that its booked, I’m intrigued. Nic Nemeth versus Alex Shelley should be a great match.

Do we all have knowledge that the Motor City Machine Guns are done with TNA and mostly on an appearance deal? Yup. But lets enjoy things while they’re around. Let’s just hope they do right by the MCMG farewell tour so to speak.

So tonight should be fun! HEY LOOK! Jonathan Gresham is still in TNA!

Part One: Lies@TheJonGresham #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/g7apW8X0Zw

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 5, 2024

Ratings:

• Old School Rules Match: Mustafa Ali vs Rhyno: Ali wins via Rhyno eating Table – **
• The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz & Trey Miguel) vs The New FBI (Zack Clayton & Ray Jaz ) w/Little Guido: Rascalz win via Tandem Double Stomp – ** 1/4
• Chris Bey w/Ace Austin vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via Fade to Black – ** 3/4
• Xia Brookeside vs ASH by Elegance w/her personal concierge: ASH wins via Double Leg Takedown – ** 1/2
• Alex Shelley vs Nic Nemeth: Nemeth wins via Danger Zone – ****

Results:

Old School Rules Match: Mustafa Ali vs Rhyno

Former Broad Street Bully Joe Watson is at ring side promoting his new book.

The typical E-C-Dub chant starts the match, and Ali gets tossed aside after an old Collar and Elbow tie up. Early spots are slow, but definitely getting across Ali having early issues with size. Hip Toss across the ring, Rhyno calls for the Gore, but Ali powders to save his ass. A little bit of cat and mouse eventually allows Ali to duck a chop and Rhyno hits the post. Ali tries to keep the momentum going, but Rhyno turns the Irish Whip around and throws Ali into the post, then goes fishing under the ring for weapons.

Ali takes a trash can, throws Joe Watson’s book into the trash for heat and then finds a giant blown up poster of his PWI cover. Some pandering to Watson after smacking Ali around, and now Rhyno gets jumped on. Mustafa Ali hits the Shane-O-Mac style Coast to Coast with the Trash Can, Ali wedges the trash can, goes for his own Gore for rub ins, but Rhyno moves to the side and Ali crashes and burns into the can. Lariats into a Shoulder Tackle as Rhyno is fixing to find a table. He wants tables, he finds tables, Ali turns the tables. Chop to the throat from Ali is quickly met with a Spinebuster from Rhyno. Rhyno sets up for Gore, security guards start to interfere, Gore misses and he goes through the table. Ali covers him for the win.

Something’s music hits afterwards, he destroys the PWI posterboard, tosses Ali back in and tries to set up for a Powerbomb, but security tries to break it up, so Jake Jacknife Powerbomb’s the security guard.

.@alexhammerstone just DESTROYED a cameraman, sending a clear message to @Walking_Weapon ahead of #Rebellion! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/DJS0AUpN1s

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 5, 2024

Gia and Hammerstone have an on ramp interview very…Mean Gene during Nitro era of wrestling. Hammerstone with a great promo here letting everyone know the rubber match with Josh Alexander will be at Rebellion. 

The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz & Trey Miguel) vs The New FBI (Zack Clayton & Ray Jaz ) w/Little Guido

Alrighty, so Guido put together a New FBI, and I’m intrigued. Ray Jaz and Trey start off, Jaz took some early offense with a Back Body Suplex, but the Rascalz take some short cuts and quickly stifle anything Jaz would do. Zack is the fiance of JWow from the Jersey Shore. He’s not a small dude, looks to be putting a few things together but Myron Reed shows up, Spray Paints Guido, distracts the young FBI and and Rascalz win via a tandem Double Stomp/Back Cracker.

Not a great match since it tried to introduce the New FBI and reintroduce Myron Reed all in like 4 minutes. So yeah, it kinda did its job, but also felt a little pointless.

Speedball Mountain's chat with @MeanGiaMiller was interrupted by the System! Challenge made for NEXT WEEK! @trentseven @TheMooseNation @SpeedballBailey @Myers_Wrestling @MrsAIPAlisha @TheEddieEdward #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/lNyytEJ38e

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 5, 2024

Chris Bey w/Ace Austin vs Frankie Kazarian

Kaz powders immediately to remind Jade to call him the King of TNA. Bey gives him the space to get his title in, but then sucker punches him and gets into the match. Kaz tries to back off, but Bey is twisting and turning Kaz all around and doing the little bit of a Goomba Stomp on the back of his head. 10 Count Punches into the corner for Bey, Snapmare out, Corkscrew Uppercut and a pinfall attempt; but Kaz gets out at immediately. Kaz tries to fire but Bey drops him with a back elbow. Finally a few quick strikes from Kaz give him a second to shine, Bey tries to stop Kaz, but when he perches Kaz picks the ankle and Bey crashes down on the corner and bounces out.

The slow and deliberate offense from Kaz seems to really be hampering Bey. Every time he tries to speed things back up, Kaz slows him down, Backstabber and Bow and Arrow submission. Bey tries to fight back up, and Kaz lays him out with a Single Leg Dropkick. Kaz goes for a Chicken Wing, Bey counters, and starts building a head of steam. Strikes, Shoulder Blocks, Running Uppercut into a Diving Lariat. Spinebuster from Bey gives him a 2 count, as Kaz slowly retreats to the corner and Bey tries to continue offense. But Kaz baits him into getting caught by the Guillotine Leg Drop. Sling Shot DDT from Kaz is blocked as Bey hits his own Sling Shot DDT for another near fall. Art of Finesse but nope, Kaz tries to chuck him out but Bey lands on his feet, Slingshots him back in and catches the Cutter for 2!

Kaz grabs a steel chain, wraps it around his fist to use on Bey but Ace sees it and takes it away. Kaz pulls the Eddie Guerrero and acts like Ace hit him so Ace gets ejected. But while Kaz is acting like the smartest guy in the room, Bey hits a Tope con Hilo, tries to keep things moving but Kaz kicks the rope into Bey’s crotch, Fade to Black wins the match for our favorite Heavy Metal Rebel.

.@mashaslamovich and @MrsAIPAlisha… Partners?!#TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/63sXT9XF8s

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 5, 2024

Aside from just thinking the pairing of Lish and Masha is perfect (Lish is a great talker and gimmick wrestler where Masha is legit and a murderer), I love how self aware Lish is. She literally just says she needs a title for the faction. Its the simple honest charm that Lish has, which is why she’s really grown on me as a character. Not to mention, doesn’t a team name of “DeMALISH” sound pretty fantastic? 

Xia Brookeside vs ASH by Elegance w/her personal concierge

The bell rings and ASH just scolds her for hitting her in the face after her surgery. ASH attempts a strike, Xia slaps her first and ASH powder and checks her face with the concierge. Xia starts off early with a Monkey Flip from the corner which causes ASH to roll out and say she’s done. Xia goes out to collect her and chase off the concierge. ASH sends Xia into the steps after the concierge distracts Xia. They roll in by 9, ASH gets a near fall and then does her Handstand Elbow Drop for another near fall. ASH stomps a mudhole in Xia and then throttles her across the middle rope.

ASH decides to play to the crowd and that allows Xia to take advantage until ASH levels her with a lariat. Three near falls in a row start to piss off ASH. Kicks to the stomach and torso out of frustration, then ASH goes into full mount, transitioning into a Sleeper Hold, but Xia isn’t staying down and ASH is getting progressively more irritated. ASH throws Xia to the outside and starts to pose elegantly before a Baseball Slide connects with Xia’s face. Unnecessary Cartwheel on the apron as ASH drops down to hit a Cutter on the floor. Xia rolls in and ASH yells, pissed off the match is still happening. ASH tries to set up Rarefied Air and Xia rolls closer to stop the attempt, Brooksie Bomb attempt is stalled. Xia fires with a bunch of strikes, lariats and a Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors, then Double Knees to the back of the head, Neckbreaker gives Xia the pinfall attempt, but ASH kicks out at 2! ASH tries to run and grabs the apron, but Xia pulls her off and ASH sends Xia into the ropes. The ref goes to fix the apron, concierge throws champagne in Xia’s face, Double Leg Takedown pinfall gives ASH the win.

#1 Contender for the Knockouts World title @stephdelander and @TheMattCardona are ALWAYS READY! pic.twitter.com/URd32QrS7E

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 5, 2024

Alex Shelley vs Nic Nemeth

The only thing I dislike about this match is calling it a Generational Match. They’re nearly the same age, Shelley debuted in 2002 and Nemeth debuted in 2004…so its just silly. Yes I get they probably mean TNA generations, since Shelley is an TNA Original and Nemeth is new to the company…but it still sounds silly.

Early on both men go for mat wrestling moments, neither should really have a huge advantage, but the feeling out process is in the mirror match vein. Nemeth tries to fight to his feet with strikes and Shelley decides to keep things grounded. He fights back up again and Shelley drops him with a Straight Jacket Choke, keeping control of the hands while Nemeth tries to fight up again and drops back into the Straight Jacket, then turning it into a Backstabber. He lariats Nemeth to the outside and Shelley stays of him. Alex uses the post to his advantage, but going to the well one too many times Nemeth pulls Alex forward into the post.

Shelley tries to beg off when they’re back in the ring, but Nemeth kicks him in the shoulder. Triple Arm Wringer into the snap then the Boot Scrape. Nemeth decides to tie his boot as kicking Shelley a few times, great showmanship. Shelley tries to take advantage but eats a Back Elbow and Nemeth’s ego keeps bubbling up. Nemeth flashes into a Head and Arm Cradle for 2, then a Body Scissors Sleeper Hold as he transitions into a Hammerlock/Chinlock combination move before Shelley start throwing strikes to fight back up, but eats a Dropkick from Nemeth to slow that. Superkick attempt is caught and Chop Block into the plant leg! Nemeth tries to punch his way to safety and ends up in the corner, Shelley perches him and hits the Corner Perched Dragon Screw. Pulls Nemeth out after the screw and into the Figure Four. Nemeth barely crawls to the rope for the break and Shelley acts like he can’t untangle so he forces the referee to it.

Stalking Nemeth, Shelley waits for him to get up, tries a Dragon Screw but eats an Enzuigiri. Running Lariats Shawn Michaels style from Nemeth, Stinger Splash into the corner and then the 10 Repeated Elbows but on the 10th, Shelley gets the knees up! Cradle transition into the Border City Stretch from Shelley but Nemeth blocks! Nemeth fights out, charges Shelley and eats a Flatliner into the middle Buckle followed by a Tornado DDT into the Border City Stretch. Getting to the ropes Shelley holds the wrist and drags him away. Nemeth bites Shelley’s arm trying to release his grip, Knee Lift rocks Shelley, School Boy for 2, Implant DDT countered, Shelley PK is countered, Nemeth hits the second DDT but the foot lands on the ropes to break the count. Superkick denial number 2, Sole Butt, Sliced Bread is countered, SUPERKICK hits! Only a 2 count!

Nemeth launches for Danger Zone, misses, Shelley tries Shellshock but misses, Danger Zone again but Shelley holds the ropes, Shellshock attempt, Nemeth rolls through the Shellshock and hits the Danger Zone out of nowhere for the win!

Overall Score: 7.5/10

So even though there wasn’t a lot of question who’d win the main event, it was still really damn good. Hammerstone’s promo was great, the New FBI is fun but definitely needs more than a 4 minute clusterfuck match, and Myron Reed being back is wonderful news. Also don’t overlook me pushing for DeMALISH or D-MALISH as the new Knockouts Tag Champions. Alisha and Masha could be really fun together. Especially since we know Lish has her own little understanding of English anyway being from Boston, so her pretending to translate for Masha could be great comedy.

Worst thing tonight was the mention of PCO and Kon in a Monster’s Ball match or whatever. I’m trying to ignore it and hope it goes away, you know, like the Boogeyman or national debt.

But since Kon will forever be a lowlight, I try not to grade things too harshly when most of the show was really good with fun points. OH – and of course ASH winning her fourth match on 4/4 is just elegant destiny. If Mobile Suit Gundam can have the Blue Destiny, ASH can have the Elegant Destiny. Such a wonderful gimmick.