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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (7/30/19)

SmackDown is GOLDEN on the way to SummerSlam!

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SmackDown cover image

SmackDown is sizzling in the summer heat!

So much is happening this close to SummerSlam! We get a Phenomenal Champion VS Champion match, as SmackDown’s Kofi Kingston takes on Raw’s AJ Styles!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Drew McIntyre VS Kevin Owens; Owens wins.
  • Bayley & Ember Moon VS Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross; Bliss & Cross win.
  • Finn Balor VS Dolph Ziggler; Ziggler wins.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura VS Mustafa Ali; Ali wins.
  • Champion VS Champion: Kofi Kingston w/ The New Day VS AJ Styles w/ The OC; Kingston wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Shane McMahon has an announcement.

And what he’s going to say will ruin everyone’s night. But he is not going to be at SmackDown in Memphis. Memphis is actually happy! But Shane puts the blame for this on Kevin Owens! Kevin’s attacks week after week, completely unprovoked, have hurt Shane too much. Shane centers himself, and has talked with his life coach to help keep his emotions in check. SummerSlam is coming, and Shane will have Kevin all to himself. Shane’s aura and glow are back, and he promises to end Kevin’s career. In front of over 20 thousand, Kevin will have no choice but to say Shane is the better man, and that he quits the WWE. Will the Best in the World back up his words two weeks in Toronto?

 

Kevin Owens is on SmackDown!

Shane may not feel up to being here, but the KO Show is just fine! Especially after he got to beat Shane down with the help of Roman Reigns. And Kevin says no one needs to panic. He knows this is distressing to hear and surely people will want to run and scream, but Shane isn’t here! We can get through this together! They’ll stay strong for the night without Shane! Shane is watching and Kevin reassures him, that Shane not being here is the greatest news because now the show can be about what it should be about: the actual wrestlers! But Shane better be at SummerSlam, so that it can be them 1v1. Shane may be at peace with the crap his life coach feeds him, but Kevin promises he won’t quit. He’ll beat the hell out of Shane so bad, that every time Shane looks in the mirror, he will know that he does not belong in the ring with wrestlers like Kevin!

But one more thing. Even after the beating, Shane might still show up. No one can stop him from doing that since he’s a McMahon, but Kevin can make sure every time Shane shows up, he knows this isn’t his ring, this isn’t his show, this is the Kevin Owens Show! But then Drew McIntyre appears to respond on Shane’s behalf! McIntyre stands in the ring and stares Kevin down as he says, “You talk too much.” What Shane forgot to mention is that Kevin has a match tonight, against Drew McIntyre! Kevin’s fine with that, but another thing. McIntyre attacks Kevin and throws him into a post! Then over the announce desk! It seems that match Shane forgot about, is NOW! McIntyre chuckles while SmackDown goes to break.

 

Drew McIntyre VS Kevin Owens!

The Scottish Terminator looks to beat down Kevin as revenge for what happened to the Best in the World! Will McIntyre soften the Prizefighter up for Shane? Or will he only suffer a sample of what’s in store for Shane O’Mac at SummerSlam?

The bell rings and the two start throwing hands! McIntyre shoves but Kevin boots him away. Kevin runs and clotheslines but McIntyre stays up. He tries again but McIntyre dodges to blast him off his feet! McIntyre drags Kevin to rain down hands, then stands him up in a corner. McIntyre stomps a mudhole but backs off at the ref’s count. He then lifts Kevin and suplexes him right down! Cover, ONE! Kevin gets to ropes and CHOPS back! McIntyre throws haymakers and whips, then throws Kevin overhead! Cover, TWO! McIntyre keeps on Kevin with a chinbar and armlock. Fans rally and Kevin fights his way up, but McIntyre throws him down by his shirt! McIntyre grinds Kevin down but Kevin still fights his way up.

Kevin throws haymakers on McIntyre but McIntyre shoves to then back elbow Kevin down! McIntyre stomps Kevin’s face over and over, then drags him up by his beard. McIntyre CHOPS Kevin right off his feet! He stomps Kevin’s hands now, then wrenches the left arm for a keylock. McIntyre leans on Kevin but Kevin fights back again. Kevin goes after the legs then throws haymakers on McIntyre’s head! But McIntyre powers him back and tosses him overhead! Cover, TWO! McIntyre grows frustrated but Kevin stands and CHOPS him again. Kevin kicks and haymakers then CHOPS more. McIntyre shoves Kevin but Kevin kicks back. McIntyre runs in but gets post! Kevin gets to the far side, then runs back in for the CANNONBALL! Cover, TWO!

Kevin keeps his cool as he and McIntyre slowly stand. Kevin heads for the corner as fans rally up. McIntyre hits Kevin first then climbs up to join him. Kevin fights McIntyre back and headbutts him off! Then Kevin adjusts, Frog Splash! Cover, TWO! McIntyre survives as we go picture in picture!

Kevin catches his breath as he backs off to ropes. McIntyre is on the opposite end, but Kevin runs to clothesline him out! Kevin then takes aim and builds speed, but McIntyre runs away. Kevin just goes to the apron the CANNONBALL again! Fans fire up with Kevin as he stands tall! Kevin refreshes the ring count while McIntyre slowly stands up. Kevin goes back to CHOP McIntyre against the desk. Then he whips McIntyre, only for McIntyre to reverse and send Kevin into barriers! McIntyre refreshes the count now to go back and fetch Kevin. He whips Kevin to the far side barriers now! McIntyre drags Kevin up again and puts him in the ring. He looms over Kevin before dragging him up by his beard again. McIntyre bumps Kevin off buckles, then throws haymakers over and over.

But Kevin throws them back! They brawl in the corner, but McIntyre puts Kevin on the top to CHOP! McIntyre climbs up and tries again, making sure to throw big punches. Kevin still CHOPS back! They brawl up top now, but McIntyre clubs Kevin down. McIntyre then stands up high and brings Kevin with him, only for Kevin to fight back with body shots! Kevin hammers away and uses another headbutt to send McIntyre down! SmackDown returns to single picture as Kevin SWANTONS onto McIntyre! Cover, TWO!! The Scottish Terminator is tough, but Kevin isn’t done, either. But McIntyre denies the stunner to Glasgow Kiss! Then swinging side slam!! Cover, TWO! Kevin survives and McIntyre is stunned!

McIntyre shakes out the cobwebs and takes aim from the corner. Kevin slowly stands and McIntyre runs, into a SUPERKICK! Kevin saves himself and now heads for ropes. He waits for McIntyre to stand, to SUPERKICK! But McIntyre blocks the pop-up once, only for the Pop-Up Bomb to hit on the other end! Cover, TWO!! Kevin is shocked he didn’t finish this! Fans fire up as Kevin climbs up top again but McIntyre stops him! McIntyre CHOPS, then climbs up again. McIntyre clubs away, wanting to finally get this… No, he’s going for a fireman’s carry!? Then the SUPER AIR RAID CRASH!! Cover, TWO?!? Kevin still lives and McIntyre is speechless! Memphis says “This is Awesome!” even as McIntyre throws Kevin back out.

McIntyre clears off the announce desk with fury before putting Kevin on it. McIntyre hops up to join Kevin, brings him around, but ignores the referee. Kevin counters with a STUNNER!! McIntyre and Kevin flounder to the ring, SUPERKICK! Then another STUNNER! Cover, Kevin wins!!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall

The KO Show defeats the Best in the World’s favorite henchman! But Shane’s been known to abuse power before, will Shane find a way to stack the deck at SummerSlam?

 

Backstage interview with Dolph Ziggler.

The Show-Off has riled up the entire WWE roster over how he treated Shawn Michaels last week. Ziggler claims HBK just kisses ass, but Miz dared Ziggler to do something. Ziggler did, by taking sucker punches and a cheap SUPERKICK to Miz and HBK. And he knows everyone is upset, online. But if they have a problem with that, Ziggler has two words for them: “Too bad.” The walking catchphrase machine, Mick Foley, got decimated by The Fiend because he doesn’t belong. Did anyone see how bad Goldberg’s last match was? He did. And HBK made a mistake getting in Ziggler’s face. Seth Rollins came to defend HBK’s honor, but then Brock Lesnar destroyed him!

And now, Ziggler goes against with “the WWE’s resident Kardashian,” The Miz! Miz isn’t even the best wrestler in his house! Ziggler’s more afraid of Maryse than he is of Miz! Finn Balor wants to teach Ziggler a lesson now? Finn is living in the past but will be looking at the future! Ziggler proves how damn good he is, because he is THE Headliner, THE Main Event, the Best Damn Thing Going Today! Will all of that be proven true when the Extraordinary Man gets to give Ziggler a piece of his mind?

 

Bayley finds Ember Moon backstage.

They’re teaming up again tonight, but that doesn’t mean Bayley forgot about that Eclipse. And Ember shouldn’t forget she wouldn’t be her challenger if Bayley didn’t choose her. They’ll get through this tonight, but if Ember tries to pull that move again, she’ll regret it. Will she? Or will they fall apart as a duo against Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross?

 

SmackDown hears from Aleister Black.

“As I sit here, I can’t help but think that I am different.” And not in an aesthetic way, no. He feels different. He talks different. His redemption lies in the blood of his soul. His salvation lies within strife, and the willingness of any man to pick a fight with him. Aleister faced “a true man” in Cesaro, and he salutes the Swiss Cyborg for that effort. But how does Aleister move on? How does Aleister write the next chapter of his book? Aleister finds himself in his self-imposed purgatory, sitting, waiting less patiently than before, for anyone to catch on to what Aleister is trying to do for himself! Aleister wants another fight, but who will be brave enough to #FadetoBlack?

 

Bayley & Ember Moon VS Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross!

The SmackDown Women’s Champion chose the War Goddess as her challenger, but the War Goddess fired the first shot. Will champion and challenger be able to coexist against Raw’s Goddess and loyal follower?

The teams sort out and it will be War Goddess and Raw Goddess. Ember and Alexa tie up and Ember gets the armlock. She wrenches and jams the arm but Alexa whips out. Ember handsprings through the hip toss then enziguris Alexa down! She wrenches Alexa and tags Bayley in. Alexa powers Bayley to a corner, but Bayely flapjacks Alexa on buckles! Bayley follows out to daredevil dropkick Alexa down! Nikki storms over, but Ember DIVES to take her out! Bayley puts Alexa into barriers, and she talks out the one-upping with Ember while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns as Nikki hits Bayley on the apron. Nikki then drags Bayley inot the apron skirt to hammer away! Nikki goes in to tag Alexa, and Alexa dropkicks Bayley down! Alexa then drags Bayley up by his ponytail to DECK her with a right! She puts Bayley in and covers, TWO! Alexa drags Bayley up, tags Nikki back in, and the friends work together in the corner as Alexa whips Nikki in for a splash. Alexa runs in to then SLAP Bayley down! Nikki puts Bayley back in the corner and tags Alexa again. They mug Bayley and stomp away but fans rally up. Bayley fights back, tossing Nikki out. Alexa waistlocks Bayley to bring her into a facelock. She whips but Bayley goes up and over, dodges Nikki, tag to Ember!

Ember rallies on Alexa and Nikki, kicking away! Ember catches Nikki to Fall Away Slam! Kip up and fired up, Ember runs corner to corner to smash both Alexa and Nikki in the corner! Ember climbs up, aims, ECLIPSE for Nikki! But Alexa throws Ember into a post! Alexa DECKS Bayley again! Alexa climbs, Twisted Bliss hits! Cover, Alexa and Nikki win!!

Winners: Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross, Bliss pinning

The champion and challenger coexisted, but they still lost! Will Alexa be poised to take on whoever comes out of SummerSlam the champion?

Bayley helps Ember up, showing she’s still respectful. NOT! Bayley2Belly for payback from last week! Will Bayley regret taking this moment to get even with Ember? Or will she simply be Eclipsed in Toronto?

 

Backstage interview with Sami Zayn.

Why is he being the Wild Card tonight? He’s scoping out the competition. But SmackDown has a bunch of sorry little complainers. And yeah, there are a lot of people in a lot of pain. But it seems Aleister is the most in pain. Has anyone really watched his videos? He begs for fights! But he also begs for help. Sami knows Aleister has all this hype that he can’t live up to. Aleister stays in the dark, because he knows that if he was in the light under the scrutiny of these “parasites” known as the fans, he won’t stand a chance. Alestier doesn’t need a fight, he needs to be exposed so that he can heal. So Sami has taken it upon himself to beat, expose and end the hype of Aleister at SummerSlam. Is Sami’s “generous” offer going to be received with a Black Mass? Or will he “lighten” the load for the Dutch Destroyer?

 

Backstage interview with Daniel Bryan.

He has wanted to give his “career altering” announcement, but now that he has the chance, he can’t say it. Just what is Bryan planning to do to change things for his career?

 

The King’s Court returns on SmackDown!

And that means WWE Hall of Famer, Jerry “The King” Lawler returns to SmackDown, too! He welcomes Memphis to this special edition. It’s good to be the King, especially in his hometown! But he is honored to welcome an all-time favorite, fellow Hall of Famer, Trish Stratus! And the seven-time WWE Women’s Champion is just as happy to be on King’s Court. She gives King a hug then strikes her iconic pointing pose before grabbing a mic. She thanks King for the invite here. King knows Trish has been on vacation, following via Instagram. Trish can’t believe she missed Raw Reunion. It’s just a shame she missed out hanging out with everyone. Shout out to Kelly Kelly being the first women’s WWE 24/7 Champion!

King also loved that moment with everyone at the end of the show. Toasting the past, present and future was a magical moment. But then backstage, legends talking, they all wished for #OneLastMatch. Does Trish wish for something like that? Fans hope she does. Trish is flattered for fans to chant, and while WWE is in her blood, she’s a mom now and has to do mom things. But then Charlotte Flair appears! She can’t believe there’s a King’s Court without a Queen. And the real question is, “How is the greatest female superstar of any era not on SummerSlam?” Charlotte and Trish say hey, but Charlotte is bored of the sappy talk. Yes, Trish is a mom. Congrats. Can someone hold the ropes? King obliges.

As Charlotte was saying, there are a lot of WWE superstars who are parents. Everyone has a mom, too! So it sounds like an excuse to her. But at SummerSlam, in front of Trish’s perfect little children, the Queen challenges her to that #OneLastMatch! Fans want that, too! But Trish doesn’t respond. That surprises Charlotte. She expected more out of a seven-time champion! But since the WWE has evolved out of “models shaking their assets” into “women changing the industry” with trailblazers like Charlotte, she hoped for more from Trish. Charlotte sees the real problem: Trish doesn’t think she can hang with the nine-time champion. Which means Trish should get out of the ring, hop in her minivan and go change some diapers.

Trish says she respects Charlotte. She’s a great athlete and performer, but right now, she’s just being a bitch. And Trish will remind Charlotte that her trail can’t be blazed without Trish! And Lita, Jacquelyn, Ivory, Beth Phoenix and many more. Charlotte more than anyone that to be The Woman, you gotta beat THE Woman! Charlotte got the match she wants! It is a truly incredible showdown of generations! Who comes out THE Woman of WWE History!?

 

The OC talk backstage.

It’s coming together! #GoodSister Charlotte has a match at SummerSlam, AJ Styles and Ricochet have their rematch at SummerSlam, and if it’s true that people only believe what they see, let’s count what we see. One, two, THREE champions! Because the Official, Original and ONLY Club that matters is golden! As for Kofi tonight, everyone will remember why SmackDown is and forever will be the House That AJ Styles Built! The OC is ready to party, champagne and all! But will they be popping bottles or holding ice packs at the end of tonight?

 

Firefly Fun House returns to SmackDown!

Ramblin’ Rabbit says sup! And he’s so excited right now, because he’s Finn’s biggest fan. Finn Balor is one super great hombre, yo. He flies through the air like a bee, bzz bzz. And he is extraordinary! But uh… Finn made a big mistake. The Fiend is unleashed! Finn doesn’t know what’s really going on. But before he can say, Ramblin’ Rabbit runs away from Bray! Bray laughs and shrugs. “Let me in.” Will The Fiend show himself again tonight?

 

Finn Balor VS Dolph Ziggler!

The Show-Off uses his theme song again, having already insulted and mocked Shawn Michaels enough last night. But he’s not done dealing with superstars who took offense and want to teach him a lesson. Will Ziggler be ready for the Hollywood A-Lister at SummerSlam? Or will the Extraordinary Man be looking over his shoulder for The Fiend after that Firefly Fun House we just watched?

SmackDown goes picture in picture while Finn and Ziggler enter the ring. The bell rings and Ziggler dropkicks Finn right down! Ziggler bumps Finn off buckles then throws body shots. He grinds Finn’s face in the ropes, but lets up at the count of 4. Finn flounders but Ziggler is on him with a snapmare into a chinlock. Ziggler traps an arm and leg as he leans on Finn. Ziggler shifts to a seated stretch and even claws at Finn’s face! Then he slips back to the sleeper, only for Finn to fight up and out. Ziggler throws Finn down by his head, and backs off while Finn gasps for air. Ziggler drags Finn up to scrape his laces off Finn’s face! Then he wraps on the sleeper and body scissors.

Finn endures but Ziggler keeps his arms trapped. Fans rally and Finn fights his way up. Finn wants to jawbreaker but Ziggler kicks low. Ziggler whips but Finn reverses, only for Ziggler to sunset flip. Finn rolls through to dropkick Ziggler down! Fnin and Ziggler go to opposite corners, and Ziggler runs in, only to get elbows and boots. Ziggler flounders but Finn rallies with forearms now. Finn whips but Ziggler reverses, only for Finn to hit another forearm! Ziggler gets to a corner as fans fire up, and Finn runs in to CHOP Ziggler! Finn whips but Ziggler reverses and redirects Finn. Finn goes up and over, but then gets an elbow. Ziggler hops up but gets a kick! Ziggler flounders into Finn’s elbow drop DDT! Cover, TWO!

Finn keeps his cool as Ziggler survives. Finn goes to a corner to watch Ziggler rise. Then Finn runs, but his Slingblade is denied, kick but Famouser misses. Superkick blocked, but Ziggler kicks the leg out to get the Famouser anyway! Cover, TWO! Finn lives and Ziggler goes to a corner now. Ziggler tunes up the band, but Finn gives him a Slingblade! And then the trip up to double stomps! Finn clotheslines Ziggler out, then takes aim. But oh no! The lights start going out! Could it be…?! IT IS!! THE FIEND IS HERE! But he decides to walk down the ramp. The lights go back up, and he’s gone? Finn turns around into a SUPERKICK!! Cover, Ziggler wins!

Winner: Dolph Ziggler, by pinfall

The Show-Off hit his version of Sweet Chin Music, with a huge assist to Bray Wyatt’s dark side. Will Ziggler be able to do things on his own when he has Miz at SummerSlam? What will Finn do to get even with The Fiend?

 

Shinsuke Nakamura VS Mustafa Ali!

It’s a rematch from Smackville last weekend, but with some adjustments: both the King of Strong Style and Beacon of Light will be ready, but this won’t be for the title. Can Ali make up for his Nashville defeat? Or will Nakamura quickly go 2-0 against him?

The bell rings and Ali dropkick Nakamura out fast! Then DIVES out just as fast! Ali puts Nakamura in and hurries up top for a big crossbody! Cover, TWO! Ali keeps going but he gets a kick from the mat. Nakamura baits Ali into a corner and sends him into buckles! Nakamura stomps Ali down then drags him up in a chinlock. Inverted Exploder but Ali lands on his feet! Ali baits Nakamura now, Nakamura gets buckles then a kicks! Somersault facebuster! Ali hurries up top, but Nakamura trips him up! There’s the Inverted Exploder! And now Nakamura takes aim as he unzips the jacket. “YAO!” SUPERKICK from Ali! Ali hurries back up, 450 splash FLOPS!! Nakamura aims again, KINSH- No, a roll up! Nakamura slides out, DDT! Now the third time, but Ali dodges again! Roll up with a bridge! ALI WINS!!

Winner: Mustafa Ali, by pinfall

Ali shocks the Intercontinental Champion! He even shocked himself! Will Ali get a third time against the King of Strong Style and a second chance for the title?

 

SmackDown looks inside the mind of The Viper.

Kofi Kingston named Randy Orton his opponent for SummerSlam. This starts all the way back in 2009. Orton had already become the Legend Killer and a main event player. He was born and bred to dominate this industry, all by being himself. But Kofi Kingston didn’t have that luxury. He pretended to be Jamaican, came up with fun dance moves, but couldn’t step to Orton. Orton would give one RKO after another, to “stupid” Kofi for ever thinking he could hang with him. Once you think you can hang with Orton, you get sent crashing back down.

Fast forward to 2019. There’s a new Kofi Kingston, named Mustafa Ail. Ali wanted to be in the Elimination Chamber match, but Orton’s heel jammed him so bad, he was too hurt to compete. That’s when the old Kofi Kingston stepped in. Kofi made the best of that moment, but Kofimania wouldn’t exist without The Viper. That amazing moment doesn’t happen without Orton. And yet no one thanks him. Kofi’s championship reign is a fluke. Kofi says he wants to test Orton’s theory, but Orton says this was still just same stupid ol’ Kofi. It will come out of nowhere, and it will end Kofi’s reign. It is the three most dangerous letters in pro-wrestling: R K O.

 

Backstage interview with Kofi Kingston!

Xavier Woods takes over to introduce ya bois, the NEW~ DAY~! Kofi is going to step into the ring with the Phenomenal AJ Styles! This is a main event anywhere in the world! Or any world, really. But can you believe Styles thinks this is still his residence? No! Because now the New Day are the W, W, E, World, Tag, and, Heavy, Weight, CHAMPIONS~! This isn’t Styles’ house no more! This is the Palace of Positivity! POP, hold it down! Awwwww~ Memphis~~! Don’t you dare be sour, clap for your world famous SIX-TIME champs, and WWE Champion~! And feel~ the power~! World Champion, United States Champion, with tag champions all around, after the break!

 

Champion VS Champion: Kofi Kingston w/ The New Day VS AJ Styles w/ The OC!

SmackDown returns as The Phenomenal and his #GoodBrothers make their entrance. Will Styles be #TooSweet rolling towards Ricochet and Toronto? Or will Kofimania be partying as he prepares for The Viper?

The bell rings and the two great champions circle. They trash talk each other before they tie up. Styles headlocks but Kofi powers out. Styles runs Kofi over with a shoulder while fans duel. Kofi gets up and Styles grins. Kofi grins, too, as they tie up again. Now Kofi waistlocks and headlocks and wrenches to a facelock. He brings Styles to the mat and they roll, but Styles uses his legs for the ropebreak. Kofi lets up but plays with Styles’ hair. Styles trips Kofi to get the headlock back. Styles throws Kofi with a headlock takeover, but Kofi fights his way back up, only to get thrown away. Cover, ONE, and Kofi shoulder blocks Styles! Styles hits back with a dropkick!

The New Day coach Kofi up but the OC cheer Styles on. Styles runs and things speed up. Kofi hurdles then elbows Styles down! Then hits a splash in a corner! Kofi whips but Styles reverses, only for Kofi to go up and springboard to dropkick Styles down! Kofi waits but misses, but he dodges Styles. He clotheslines Styles out but the OC protect their Phenomenal Leader. Kofi slingshots out but Styles dodges! Styles slides and knees Kofi down! Then throws him into a post! Styles throws Kofi into the timekeeper’s area while shouting, “This is MY house!” SmackDown goes to one last break as the New Day protest and argue with The OC.

SmackDown returns as Kofi fights out of Styles’ hold, only for Styles to throw him down by his hair! The referee reprimands Styles but the OC says that’s not a big deal. Styles drags Kofi up and bumps him off buckles. He CHOPS Kofi against buckles, then hauls him up for a HARD backbreaker! Cover, ONE! Styles grows frustrated with Kofi, but he looms over him as he puts on the camel clutch. Kofi endures and works against the hold. Fans rally while Kayla Braxton prepares for Roman Reigns’ match announcement.

Kifi fights out but Styles puts him in a corner. Styles kicks away on Kofi, then hauls him up top. Styles climbs up to join Kofi but Kofi fights back. Kofi clubs away then headbutts Styles down! Kofi adjusts, leaps, and hits a tornado DDT! Both men are down but Memphis fires up! Kofi and Styles stand, and Kofi rallies with chops and a dropkick! He keeps moving to leap and clobber Styles down! Fans fire up as Kofi hits the NEW~ DAY~ Boom Drop! Then Kofi goes to a corner, and prepares to finish it. Styles slowly gets up, but dodges the splash! But Styles runs into Kofi’s double stomp! Cover, TWO! Kofi keeps his cool as he goes back to a corner. He takes aim again, spins, but Styles catches him to a fireman’s carry. Ushigoroshi escaped! SOS hits!! Cover, TWO!!

Kofi and Styles are down again, but Kofi is up first. Kofi suplexes but Styles hits out to then enziguri back! That sends Kofi to a corner, and the OC cheer. Styles runs in, but into a kick! Kofi climbs as Styles falls down! Kofi leaps, frog splash to the back! Cover, but the OC save Styles by yanking him out of the ring! The New Day come around and confront Gallows & Anderson. Kofi runs in but Styles punches him down! Styles hurries up but Kofi BOOTS him down! So now there’s a brawl! The OC wipe out the New Day, but Kofi FLIES to wipe the OC out! Kofi puts Styles in and hurries, but Gallows goes after him. Kofi fights him off, but slingshots into Styles’ USHIGOROSHI!

Styles runs in but is put on the apron. He hits Kofi away while the OC and New Day crash on the announce desk! Styles springboards, into TROUBLE IN PARADISE! Cover, Kofi wins!!

Winner: Kofi Kingston, by pinfall

Chaos ends the match, and it is the New Day who reign in the Palace of Positivity!

 

Roman Reigns heads for his interview, only to be blindsided by falling girders!!

Who just tried to assassinate The Big Dog?! Security and crew clear things out and Roman is mostly okay, but that could’ve been a lot worse. Roman refuses to be checked out, he just wants to know who knocked all of that over on him. Is Roman really okay? Or is a certain someone gunning for his life?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A rather odd SmackDown but one that was still a lot of fun. The opening segment was great, kayfabe Shane being so deluded as to think we can’t live without him, and Kevin breaking his delusion, good stuff for their story. And then Kevin VS McIntyre was an incredible opener! If only this was the feud and not Shane. And it’s too bad WWE still hasn’t made the match an I Quit match, but oh well. Keeping with Raw, Ziggler seems to be headed for a future feud with at least Goldberg with how often he name drops the Super Showdown flop. I’m pretty sure at least HBK does something to distract Ziggler against Miz at this point. As for Ziggler VS Finn, it was pretty good, but of course it was to facilitate the Fiend attacking. Really curious to see if Finn resorts to Demon or keeps that in his back pocket for later.

Sami already stepping up to Aleister’s newest open challenge is interesting. This will definitely be a good match, just not sure about the promos for this with Sami’s current Heel shtick. Nakamura VS Ali here was a great match for being so fast and short. Ali dodging the Kinshasa over and over to get that roll up win was brilliant, and their SummerSlam match (which has to be happening now) is going to be even better than both this and the Smackville match. The women’s tag match tonight was also really well done, because it wasn’t even dysfunction that beat champion and challenger. And then Bayley shows some sneakiness by getting even with Ember. Their match is going to be really great. Trish Stratus will then, now and forever look good. And it is so great that this is the match we’re getting for Charlotte. This will truly be a torch passing match while also giving Trish that one last amazing match.

The only weird stuff was the main event and the ending segment. I’ll admit that when this article was being put together earlier today, the WWE was advertising an amazing Six Man Tag of all the New Day and OC members. But apparently, between either an advertising mistake or just not having time to turn the main event into the Six Man Tag, we didn’t get it. The singles match we did get was great, and I hope we still get the Six Man down the line, but it was just a little disappointing to get swerved like that. Then the really weird ending of Roman being followed to his interview space and have the girders fall, it wasn’t very well executed with the cuts, except for the one moment where Kayla’s cameraman puts down the camera to go help Roman. I’m pretty sure Samoa Joe is the culprit of the attempt on Roman, because it will be Roman VS Joe one more time at SummerSlam.

My Score: 8.4/10


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NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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