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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Results & Report! (2/4/19)

Stephanie McMahon returns to Raw, and invites The Man to stop by!

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Stephanie McMahon returns to Raw! And not only that, but she wants The Man, Becky Lynch, to make her own return. Will Becky oblige the former commissioner?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ronda Rousey VS Liv Morgan w/ The Riott Squad; Rousey wins.
  • Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan w/ The Riott Squad; Rousey wins.
  • Raw Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Fatal 4 Way: Heavy Machinery VS Lucha House Party VS The Revival VS The B-Team; The Revival wins and will challenge Bobby Roode & Chad Gable for the titles.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Qualifier: Sasha Banks & Bayley VS Alicia Fox & Nikki Cross; Banks & Bayley win and enter the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber match.
  • Elias VS Jeff Jarrett w/ Road Dogg; Elias wins.
  • Finn Balor VS Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush; changed to…
  • Finn Balor VS Lio Rush w/ Bobby Lashley; Finn wins.
  • EC3 VS Dean Ambrose; EC3 wins.
  • Braun Strowman & Kurt Angle VS Drew McIntyre & Baron Corbin; McIntyre & Corbin win, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Stephanie McMahon starts Raw in the ring!

And without further ado- Well, no ado at all, THE MAN is here! Becky Lynch is on Raw once again, per the invite of the Billion Dollar Queen. However, Becky’s leg isn’t feeling any better since last week, but she doesn’t let it bother her. Stephanie continues and introduces Becky as the winner of the Women’s Rumble! But as to why Stephanie wanted Becky to return, she brings up how Becky challenged Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women’s Championship face-to-face. The footage rolls as Ronda wants Becky at 100%. Becky may be The Man, but Ronda’s a household name and owns the ring when she walks in.

Stephanie was impressed to see Becky just smirk at an angry Ronda. Well why wouldn’t she be smiling? Becky has the fans as a reason, but that Rumble win and Wrestlemania main event are good reasons, too. Stephanie is definitely on Becky’s side after what Ronda has done to her. But Stephanie does point out the knee brace and bit of a hobble. Is Becky okay? Yeah, she’s fine. Really? Yes, really. Well okay, but Stephanie does want to show when that leg got hurt. The Women’s Rumble, Becky and Charlotte stare down but Nia Jax blasts Becky down. Becky shows heart and finishes the match to win it. That’s just what Becky does. But again, she refuses medical attention over that leg. Becky won the Rumble on one good leg and will fight that way, too. She doesn’t want doctors to come near her.

Yes, Stephanie knows about how the doctors sidelined her after the #FaceBreaker incident. She was there to see it all herself. But Stephanie can’t risk it if Becky isn’t cleared by the medical staff. Fans boo and Becky considers what Stephanie’s getting at. Becky sees what’s going on. Becky’s the glitch in the plan, “but here I am. And I’m not moving for anyone!” This is what Becky’s fought her whole life for! What does Stephanie know about struggle? Stephanie’s never had to fight for a thing in her life, has she?! No, because she’s Daddy’s Girl who’s never fought for a thing but is trying to stop Becky from fighting for everything! But Becky rose up, earned her place, and there is nothing Stephanie or any “stupid doctor” can do about it!

Stephanie admits Becky earned her way tot he top. But it is a liability to let Becky compete in her condition. The doctors will give her the OK and she can compete, unless the knee’s worse than Becky lets on. And whether Becky believes it or not, Stephanie cares about her. This is the biggest match in Mania history! Fans want that match of Ronda VS Becky! But Becky has to be cleared instead of thick-headed. Stephanie pleads with Becky. It’s not a trick, it’s not a game, it’s Becky’s well-being. Will Becky visit the doctors? Not at the expense of her moment. Then Stephanie will have to suspend her until she changes her mind. Becky warns Stephanie that if she says that again, she’s not gonna be responsible for her actions.

Why is this so hard for Becky? Don’t make Stephanie do this. Then don’t. Then will she go to the doctor? No. Then effective immediately, Becky is suspended. Becky knocks Stephanie off her feet! And rains down rights! And puts her in the Disarm-Her! But her bad leg gives out. Referees run in but Becky fights them off. And the same for security! Becky gets at Stephanie again but her bad leg helps Stephanie get away! Becky hobbles while Stephanie retreats with the officials. The Man has a bad knee but an even worse temper. She’s fighting through the pain, but will be fighting for the title after this?

 

Becky Lynch is being escorted from the arena.

The Man was suspended, so she has to go. But then along comes Ronda Rousey. The two stare down and Ronda says Becky tests Ronda’s professionalism every time they meet. Ronda will keep her temper in check, but what did Becky’s temper get her? A suspension and the main event being put on the line. Becky should rest up so she can take the whooping her “Woe is Me” ass can whine about later. Plus, she’d “snap that b*tch.” Becky just shrugs Ronda’s attitude off as she continues her exit. Will Becky be forced to recover because of this suspension?

 

Ronda Rousey VS Liv Morgan w/ The Riott Squad!

The Baddest Woman on the Planet is already riled up, but the Juvenile Delinquent and her friends are laughing it off. Will Liv be laughing after her run-in with Rowdy Ronda?

The bell rings but Liv bails out. The Squad is already trolling Ronda with this strategy, but Ronda stays in the ring and keeps her calm. Liv returns but then ducks back out. Fans boo but Liv laughs and skips about. Liv returns again, but then dodges to smile with her blue raspberry tongue. Liv and Ronda circle and Ronda catches Liv this time! Ronda throws Liv but Liv slips out of the ring. Sarah Logan distracts and Liv attacks, but Ronda swings on her. Liv goes Matrix but Ronda hammers her down! Ronda puts on the armbar, Liv taps! Ronda wins!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission

The Baddest Woman made quick work of little Liv, but she looks eager for more. Does everyone have a problem with her? From the fans booing to the Squad glaring, Ronda is fed up with this. She dares Sarah to do something about it, and Sarah accepts the challenge!

Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan w/ The Riott Squad!

The Kentucky Viking steps up, but will she fare any better than Liv?

The bell rings, Sarah rushes and powers Ronda to a corner! Sarah rams her shoulder in over and over then lifts Ronda up. Ronda gets the armbar takedown! Sarah scrambles to a ropebreak and the Squad hurries to get her to safety. Fans boo and Ronda paces while we go to break.

Raw returns and Ronda has Sarah in a triangle! Sarah deadlifts Ronda up and buckle bombs her! Sarah’s free and Ronda’s got a scratch on her face. Ronda covers up as Sarah stomps, and Ronda fights back with hands and a judo throw. Ronda throws Sarah again and then hammers away! Then the ARMBAR! Sarah taps, Ronda wins again!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission

That’s two fights in a row for two wins in a row. Ronda’s angry, but she won’t get satisfaction with Becky out of action. However, Squad Leader Ruby wants to see if she can capitalize by being Ronda’s third opponent tonight. She and Ronda stare down, but Ruby backs off. Will Becky be allowed to return so that she and Ronda can both get what they want at Wrestlemania?

 

Backstage interview with The Riott Squad.

Why did Ruby run away from Ronda? Ruby didn’t run from anything! Ruby has no doubt she can and will beat Ronda, but it will be for the Raw Women’s Championship! But she needed to be with her friends first. Ronda will have to wait, because the Squad’s bond can’t be broken. Ronda’s an opportunist, and knows nothing about that. If Becky doesn’t return, will Ruby get her title shot?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks & Bayley.

The Boss & Hug Connection have their qualifier tonight, but will the losses against Ronda Rousey have any impact on that? Bayley keeps Sasha calm, and points out that each of them brought Ronda to her limits. These two are great alone, but together they’re the best. The tag title opportunity is a dream the WWE Universe willed into existence. Come Elimination Chamber, the #LegitHuggable duo will make history. But then Alicia Fox and Nikki Cross come by. They won’t let Banks and Bayley make it to the Chamber, because Foxy embraces chaos. Chaos doesn’t judge. Chaos is fair and square, and the #LegitHuggable friends will find out you don’t #CrossTheFox! Will crazy and crazier come out the winners tonight? Or will the Boss & Hug Connection take one step closer to history?

 

Raw Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Fatal 4 Way: Heavy Machinery VS Lucha House Party VS The Revival VS The B-Team!

Tucker Knight & Otis Dozovic, Lince Dorado & Gran Metalik, Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder, or Bo Dallas & Curt Axel. Which team will take the win to take on the GLORIOUS tag team champions, Bobby Roode & Chad Gable?

Curt Axel and Metalik start with the bell. Metalik kicks then rolls Axel, ONE! Axel backs off but comes back to throw a knee. He throws hands and gets the fans going on “B-Team! B-Team! GO GO GO!” Axel whips but Metalik handsprings back. Metalik kicks then runs the ropes. Lince tags in and Metalik dropkicks Axel down. Licne runs and gets a boost to missile dropkick Axel. Dash tags in but gets a huricanrana pin! TWO, and Lince arm-drags Dash around. Lince has Dash in the armlock while fans rally with “Lucha! Lucha!” Roode & Gable watch backstage as Dash pulls at Lince’s mask. Dash brings Lince around to whip but runs into a boot. Tucker tags in off Lince to waistlock slam Dash! And then again! He rolls to a cover, ONE!

Tucker squeezes Dash and fans cheer for the power of “Steaks and Weights!” Tucker and Dash go around and Tucker shifts to a headlock. Tag to Dozer! Heavy Machinery double whip and run Dash over with shoulders. Then, Boom Shaka Loo! Double headbutts! Cover, TWO! Dozer keeps on Dash with a spinning scoop slam, then brings him around for a whip to the corner. Tag to Tucker and Dozer whips Tucker in for a corner splash. Tucker feeds Dash to Dozer then dropkicks Dawson out. B-Team runs in but they get double scoops that send them right out of the ring! Lucha House Party runs in but are put on the apron. So Lince and Metalik Double ASAI onto everyone else!

Dawson runs into body shots, then Heavy Machinery march for the big belly sandwich! Belly bump celebration, but then they scoop Dawson to toss onto the pile! Heavy Machinery has control while we go to break.

Raw returns as Dawson brings up Metalik for a big back suplex. Cover, TWO! Metalik crawls but Dawson keeps on him. Tag to Dash and Dawson feeds Metalik to Dash’s knees. Dash toys with Metalik but Metalik CHOPS him back! Dash kicks low then scoops Metalik, tag to Dawson for a tag team gutbuster! Cover, TWO! Dawson keeps on Metalik with a chinlock. Fans rally with “Lucha! Lucha!” and Metalik feeds off the energy. Metalik fights with body shots and powers out of the headlock. Dawson blocks the boot and flips Metalik but Lince tags in. Lince kicks back then leaps with the crossbody! Lince hits Dash then boots Dawson, tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Dash returns, DROPSAULT! Cover, TWO! Lince keeps his focus but Dawson knees low. Dawson whips but Lince dodges, DOUBLE Golden Rewind for the Revival!

Lince fires up, aims but Dozer tags in! So Lince dropkicks him then DIVES onto Dash! Dash sends Lince into the barriers! Metalik runs in but into The B-Team’s back suplex to neckbreaker! Dozer bulldozes The B-Team! Dozer goes corner to corner to squash Bo! Bo is down, Dozer pumps it up, here comes the Caterpillar! Fans fire up as Dozer covers, but Axel saves Bo. Axel runs into Tucker’s trapped-arm overhead suplex! Dozer picks up Bo, Tucker runs but Dash dumps him out. Dozer slams Bo and hits Dash, but Dawson tags in. The Revival dump Dozer out! Bo runs in but into a school boy. Bo slips through to a cradle, TWO! Dash tags in, SHATTER MACHINE! Cover, The Revival win!

Winners: The Revival, Dash Wilder pinning; new #1 Contenders to the Raw Tag Team Championships

The #TopGuys get another shot! Will this opportunity be the one that gets them tag title gold?

 

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder meet up backstage.

Ryder tells Hawkins not to worry about The Revival. They’ll get back at them next time. Next time? If anyone else was Ryder’s partner, Ryder would’ve been part of that match, and maybe even won. Hawkins is toxic bad luck. This reunion won’t work. It’s just one loss! No, it’s 250+ for Hawkins! Why does Ryder want to team with Hawkins anyway? Ryder points out that everyone got his name wrong. It was “Zackh”. How is that even possible? Zack’s been here 13 years and people forgot how to spell his name?! He’s at the bottom like Hawkins. So they’re both losers? Yes, but not for long. They started here together, Major Brothers, Edge Heads, youngest WWE tag team champions ever! The losing streak will lose with them together. Then maybe they can get the name right.

 

Superstars show support to Kurt Angle.

The Olympic Gold Medalist has something to say about his future with the WWE. What will he say live on television after the break?

 

Kurt Angle heads to the ring!

Portland greets Angle with the kind “You Suck!” chants, and Angle thanks them for the ovation. “Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence.” Yes, Angle’s 3 I’s have been his way through both the good and the bad. Angle accomplished everything he’s wanted, from the European Championship to the WWE Hall of Fame. He tore the house down with Shawn Michaels. He sprayed the ring with milk. And he was even a Raw GM that gave everyone a chance to settle things in the ring. Angle even found the son he never knew he had. And best of all, the fans always reminded him, “You Suck!” So, thanks?

But lately, the 3 I’s were replaced by 3 D’s: Doubt, Defeat, and Depression. Angle’s return didn’t go the way he pictured, namely with Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin. Angle wanted to show he still had it, and shut those two up for good. In his long career, Angle’s beaten the best, and yes he won the gold medal with a “broken freakin’ neck.” But there is one opponent he cannot defeat: Father Time. There comes a point in everyone’s career where- Baron Corbin interrupts!

Corbin wants Angle to wrap this up. Does Angle want everyone to feel sorry for him? Angle did this to himself. This speech should’ve been the Hall of Fame speech two years ago, and then no one sees Angle again. But no, Angle signed a contract to be a GM. And then instead of just making matches, he started getting in them. But look at him now. Angle is a “broken-down shadow of a man.” Well this old man will break Corbin’s ankle in two! Angle dares Corbin to get in the ring! But first, Drew McIntyre appears! I

t seems Angle can’t help himself. He’s accepted his fate, and yet he turns around wanting to fight the man who beat him last week. People used to look at Angle and saw a warrior. But McIntyre saw fear as Angle tapped out to his own ankle lock! McIntyre also thought he’d never see Angle again, yet Angle still showed up. Angle will keep showing up until someone does something “very drastic”. So Portland, shut up and get the cameras ready for the last time you see Angle in the WWE again. McIntyre and Corbin vow to put him down for good! These two flank the ring, but here comes BRAUN!

The Monster Among Men dislikes both McIntyre and Corbin, and throws hands with the Scottish Terminator! Angle throws hands with Corbin and clotheslines him out! Strowman throws an arm chair at Corbin! Corbin is surrounded so he runs to the ring. Corbin and McIntyre are in retreat! Strowman and Angle stand tall, will they be united against McIntyre & Corbin?

 

WWE and Raw celebrate Black History Month.

Superstars go to the National Civil Rights Museum to learn of all the powerful moments in the struggle for ethnic equality. Martin Luther King Jr. is an inspiration to all peoples, may his dream live forever.

 

The Architect is going to Wrestlemania!

Seth Rollins was able to #BurnItDown in the Men’s Rumble match and win it all, but he had to decide. Would he challenge the New Daniel Bryan for the newly redesigned WWE World Championship? Or would he challenge the reining, defending, undisputed Universal Champion, The Beast, Brock Lesnar? Rollins chose Lesnar by telling him to his face with a fight! But Lesnar would win that brawl and F5 Rollins onto that very title! Will Rollins recover and redesign his game plan in time for Wrestlemania?

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Qualifier: Sasha Banks & Bayley VS Alicia Fox & Nikki Cross!

The two teams said their pieces earlier, but now it’s time to back up those words. Who will be the better combination and move on towards the Elimination Chamber’s historic match?

But as the teams make their entrances, Fox and Cross attack from behind! They hammer Bayley down and then drag Sasha out! Fans boo as the beating continues, but Bayley fights back! She knocks Foxy down then throws Crazy Cross to the ramp. Bayley goes back after Foxy but Cross comes back over. She and Foxy mug Bayley until more referees appear. But they can’t stop Fox and Cross from throwing Bayley into the LED wall! Then they stomp Sasha, and toss Bayley down the ramp! Will this keep the Boss & Hug Connection from competing? Will this crazy combination qualify by default?

Raw returns and this match IS still on! Bayley lariats Nikki down then covers, TWO! Bayley keeps on Cross in the corner with big shoulders. She lets up at 3 to snapmare and sliding lariat! Cover, TWO! Bayley drags Cross away but Cross pushes her away. Bayley still scoops and slams, covers, TWO! Cross hops on Bayley for a sleeper hold! Bayley backs up but Alicia tags in to also be a sleeper. Bayley throws her off and crossbodies them both! Cover on Alicia, TWO! Alicia throws forearms then whips Bayley to a corner. Alicia runs but is flapjack’d on buckles. Bayley hops up and hits a flying uppercut! Cover, TWO! Bayley keeps her cool and throws Alicia with a saido suplex! Cover but Cross breaks it. Bayley throws Cross with a saido!

Bayley puts Alicia on the apron and hotshots her back in! Cross drags Alicia out but Bayley pursues to fetch her. Bayley fights Cross off but walks into the scissor kick! Cover, TWO!! Bayley lives, and Sasha’s finally on the corner. Alicia wraps Bayley in a chinlock but fans rally up. Bayley endures and fights her way up. Alicia headbutts Bayley down then drags her over. Tag to Cross and the two put Bayley in the Tree of Woe! Cross stomps a mudhole into Bayley then tags to Alicia. Alicia kicks away on Bayley and Bayley falls out of the Tree. Alicia stomps Bayley more then tags Cross. Cross drags Bayley into a half nelson chinbar. Fans rally up again as Bayley endures. Bayley fights her way back up, but Cross clubs her down. Cross stomps Bayley then tags Alicia.

Alicia and Cross put Bayley back in the Tree, get their shots in then tag again. Cross stomps away but Bayley sits up to fight back! Cross tackles Bayley into a corner for shoulders. She backs off for a corner splash and bulldog! Cover, TWO! Bayley lives and frustrates Cross. Cross shoves Bayley out of the ring then leaps for a crossbody! Cross roars and slaps herself around while she stalks Bayley. Sasha saves Bayley and Cross runs into post! Alicia gets Cross back in to tag in while Bayley crawls over. Alicia stops Bayley but Bayley rolls her up! Bayley & Sasha win!!

Winners: Sasha Banks & Bayley, Bayley pinning; enter the Elimination Chamber Tag Match

The #LegitHuggable duo survive the chaos to qualify! Will Banks & Bayley win it all to make history?

 

Backstage interview with Apollo Crews.

Is he surprised to see Kurt Angle competing tonight? Apollo didn’t think that was Angle’s aim but he’s happy to see Angle’s trying again. But given his string of losses, is it wise for him to compete? It’s Kurt Angle! Even he has some off nights. Then even with Braun on his side, what are Angle’s chances tonight? Everyone has a chance of winning. But then Drake Maverick and Rezar come by. They don’t think Angle has a chance of winning, Apollo’s just fooling himself. Hey how does Rezar get his puppet to talk? Does he pull strings? Or put his hand up the- Rezar wants to fight but Maverick keeps the peace. Apollo’s just upset because his Olympic hero keeps letting everyone down. Will we be let down again with another Angle defeat?

 

Elias VS Jeff Jarrett w/ Road Dogg!

Oh you didn’t know~?! The Drifter has tried to differentiate himself from Double J since debuting in the WWE, but then Jarrett and the D O Double G would return to bring it all back. Elias got a smash hit off of both Roadie and Jarrett with his guitars last week, but now we settle things in a match! Will Double J #WalkWithElias?

Before the match, Road Dogg himself welcomes Portland to the Dogg House! “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages”, we proudly present the Road Dogg, Jessie James! Dogg may be bigger and grayer, but this isn’t about him. This is about the Hall of Famer’s return! Jeff Jarrett makes his entrance, armed with a guitar! “Howdy folks, Double J here!” Yes, J E Double F, J A Double R, E Double T makes a wrestling return to the WWE, but Dogg brings up the singing. Time to finish karaoke with the WWE Universe! But then Elias interrupts someone else for once! Jarrett, Dogg, that song no one knows the words hasn’t aged well. Just like them. That hurts. Does Jarrett even play guitar? Shouldn’t Dogg be on SmackDown tanking their ratings? Elias would rather watch another Maroon 5 performance than this.

Truth be told, Elias would’ve done the Super Bowl, but he made the mistake of turning that down for Portland, a city too insignificant to have a football team. Elias wanted to save the night with his own performance, but he remembered how ungrateful the WWE Universe is. You give him a standing ovation, nothing less! But no, Elias won’t sing tonight in Portland. As for Jarrett and Dogg, they can keep up the nostalgia act but it won’t change the truth: WWE stands for “Walk With Elias!” Jarrett has Elias wait. In the immortal words of a great rival, “Hey chico, don’t sing it. Bring it!” And if you ain’t down with that, they’ve got two words for ya! “SUCK IT!” Jarrett and Elias fight outside the ring!

Jarrett puts Elias in but the ref keeps them apart until the bell. The bell rings and the brawl is back on! Jarrett rocks Elias right out of the ring but Elias gets spooked by the Roadie. Elias gets in again but then right back out, and we go to break.

Raw returns and Elias throws Jarrett around the outside. Elias puts Jarrett in the ring and CHOPS him around. Elias whips but Jarrett boot shim away. Jarrett throws hands, whips and hip tosses Elias down! Jarrett clotheslines and whips again, but Elias dodges to hit a big knee strike! Elias grins as he mocks the strut. Then he tells Dogg to “Suck it!” Elias stomps Jarrett then drags him up for a whip. He elbows Jarrett then covers, TWO! Elias sits Jarrett up to tell him who’s better, then wraps on a chinlock. Fans rally for Double J and Jarrett powers up. Jarrett fights but Elias knees and suplexes Jarrett up and over! Cover, TWO! Elias trash talks Roadie but Jarrett hits Elias with body shots. Jarrett whips Elias but misses in the corner. Elias kicks Jarrett and rains down rights. Elias leaps for a big elbow drop, covers, TWO!

Fans rally but Elias puts Jarrett back in a chinlock. Jarrett fights out again but Elias reverses the whip. Elias puts Jarrett in a sleeper! Jarrett jawbreakers free! Elias kicks Road Dogg just because! Fans boo but Elias turns around to get punches from Jarrett! Jarrett has Elias reeling, then he whips for a big clothesline! Jarrett hits Elias with the straddle attack on the ropes. Double J struts, kicks, but Elias blocks. Jarrett enziguris! Dogg gets hit again, and Elias gets Jarrett with Drift Away! Cover, Elias wins!

Winner: Elias, by pinfall

The Drifter shows up the supposed greatest singer and greatest wrestler, but now Road Dogg gets Elias back for those sucker punches! He whips but Elias reverses, only for Dogg to come back with jabs! Dogg pops, locks and drops Elias! Dogg aims at Elias from across the way, and Jarrett has a guitar, too. Elias glares at Dogg, but Dogg tells him “Wait! Suck it!” Jarrett SMASHES Elias with the guitar! Ain’t he great? Jarrett may have lost this battle, but will he win the war on this Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Dana Brooke finds Natalya backstage.

The Total Package apologizes for the loss in their tag team match last week. It was their chance at the Women’s Tag Team Championships, so that makes her feel even worse. Natalya doesn’t respond. Is this because Dana said she’s better than Natty? Sorry but get over it! It was just something to pump them both up about it, y’know? Well, fine, silent treatment. Not even seeing she’s here. But Dana’s here. Dana is gonna make a match with Natty so they can prove Dana belongs! Oh, Natty had AirPods in her ears. Well, Natty’s in for quite the surprise. Will Dana prove she’s main roster material? Or will the Queen of Harts trump her efforts?

 

Backstage interview with Finn Balor.

After his match with Brock Lesnar and then the confrontation with Bobby Lashley, he really doesn’t look good. He’s medically cleared but at what point does he put pride aside for the sake of his health? Finn says the Irish are famously stubborn when wounded. He and Becky both. Finn’s elbow hurts from the Kimura. Finn’s ribs hurt from the beating. People told him to stay home, but Finn took the best punishments and got back up. Lashley sees him as an easy target, but Finn won’t be bullied. Finn won’t stop pushing forward, he’ll just take the fight to Lashley like he did Lesnar. And first chance he gets, he’ll even take that Intercontinental Championship.

Finn Balor VS Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush!

As Finn just said, he wants to take the fight to the bigger men. But the Hype Man of the Hour loves to remind us the Rocky Mountain Machine isn’t just a wrestler, he’s a fighter! Will Finn survive a fight with a fighter? Or will he be 0-2 against behemoths?

Lio has a mic and wants Finn to take a look at himself. He looks like he’s a mummy yet he thinks he has a chance against the Almighty? This isn’t David VS Goliath, this is Mouse VS Truck! Be real, Finn. Lashley curls dumbbells heavier than you! Finn shouldn’t even think about the IC title.

Lashley says Finn had his shot against Lesnar and couldn’t win. Lashley’s better than Lesnar. He can beat Lesnar in a wrestling match, in a fight, and in his sleep! Finn doesn’t deserve to be in a ring with him. Instead, Finn should fight people his own size. There’s no match with Lashley tonight, because Finn will take on Lio Rush. And maybe if Finn’s entertaining enough, he’ll get the title match he wants. The 24 Year Old Piece of Gold makes his Raw in-ring debut against the Extraordinary Man! Will Lashley see something he likes?

But before the bell, Lashley kicks Finn down low! Lashley puts Finn in the corner and rams his shoulders in! Then he clubs and stomps Finn down! Fans boo while Lashley and Lio fist bump. The referee checks on Finn, but Lio just heaps on the trash talk. Finn wants this match, the bell rings, Lio rushes right at him! Lio stomps and punches away in the corner but backs off at 4. Lashley cheers Lio on but Finn grabs Lio by the head! Finn puts Lio in the corner but Lio kicks the bad ribs! Lio keeps Finn down with elbows and a rain of right hands. Lio kicks Finn in the ribs again then eggs Finn on. Finn catches a kick to trip Lio! Finn stomps away on Lio now! Lio bails out but Finn fires up to wreck him with a dropkick!

Finn keeps moving, but Lashley trips him up and yanks him out! The referee reprimands Lashley and EJECTS him! The Rocky Mountain Machine has to leave, and now Lio will be alone with Finn! Fans taunt Lashley but Lio runs and DIVES onto Finn! Lio blasts Finn and has control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Lio has Finn in a standing abdominal stretch. Finn endures while Lio digs his knuckles in. Finn pops out and turns but Lio knees him low. Lio stalks Finn to a corner and rams his shoulder in. Lio tries a third time but gets a knee from Finn! Finn gets to the apron but Lio runs over, only to get a swing kick! Lio’s down, Finn climbs up! Fans fire up but Lio trips Finn up on the top rope. Lio climbs up to join Finn and throws forearms. Fans duel as Lio SUPER STEINERS Finn down! Cover, TWO!! Finn survives and frustrates Lio! Lio goes after Finn again, wanting another abdominal stretch. Finn resists as they’re in a half-mount version, but Finn powers up and out to put the stretch on Lio! Finn hammers away on Lio with forearms and body shots! Then the double stomps!

Finn grits his teeth as he gasps for air. Finn runs, slingblade to Lio! But the fall hurts Finn back, and he crawls to Lio. Finn drags Lio up, 1916 but the ribs give out! Small package, TWO! Lio kicks and enziguris, then runs, backwards springboard stunner! Lio heads up top now, Final Hour but he has to roll through! Finn shotgun dropkicks Lio down! Finn climbs again, with Portland fired up, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Finn wins!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall

But here comes Lashley! Finn gets away from big bully Bobby, but will a win over Lio get Finn the title shot?

 

Paige is here!

“Did you miss me?” She’s just glad they remember her. But there’s a very special coming out, Fighting With My Family. It’s based on Paige’s life and her family, and everyone will surely find it interesting. The trailer rolls and the story of the game-changing Anti-Diva is coming to theaters soon.

 

It’s time for another Moment of Bliss!

Raw returns as The Goddess, Alexa Bliss, sits on her set. Her guest is a “man of mystery”, a future star of the main roster, THE EC3! The Top One Percent walks right out onto the stage and puts his name up on the titantron. EC3 sits with Alexa and she gets a good look at him. Is he ready for his Moment of Bliss? Just look at him! He’s young, good-looking, and he has a very large… bank account! But he’s playing hard to get between Raw and SmackDown. While he’s here in the flesh, she wants to know. Which brand does he choose? Fans hope he says Raw since he’s here, but someone interrupts. It’s Nia Jax! Tamina follows the Irresistible Force out and Nia answers this for everyone: “No one cares.” Wow, not a single episode without an interruption. Nia would say she’s sorry, but she’s not.

And who wants to see this weird blind date she’s working on. What should be the headline is Nia’s great week! Nia broke boundaries by “entering” the Men’s Rumble, and how the Samoan Dynasty is in that Women’s Tag Team Championship Chamber match. They did that by beating Alexa. Mickie took the pin. Well, this is now Nia’s Moment of Bliss, okay? The world is talking about Nia, wondering what’s next. And Nia might fill in for Becky at Mania. But the siren sounds and here comes Dean Ambrose!

The Moral Compass saunters out and Nia is upset over her interruption being interrupted. Ambrose apologizes to Alexa. He doesn’t want to be out here any more than Alexa wants him out here. But he just has something to say to Nia. Obviously Nia has a huge crush on him. She’s not the first woman to not know how to handle his “raw sexual magnetism.” She doesn’t now how to deal with that and that’s okay. Nia just has to forget about him and just stay far, far away.

As for Alexa, help him figure out who this is. That’s EC3. Ambrose swats the mic out of EC3’s hand! EC3 gets up and Ambrose says this will be his interview now. Who is he? What does EC3 stand for? Where were ECs 1 and 2? Who does his hair? Is he a Creed fan? He seems like one. Why does EC3 just lurk around like a mutant Chippendale instead of getting in the ring? Ambrose dares EC3 to answer, so EC3 punches Ambrose out! EC3 heads to the ring, will Ambrose be his first #VictoryAfterVictory?

 

EC3 VS Dean Ambrose!

Raw returns as the bell rings on this match, and EC3 tackles Ambrose off his feet! EC3 throws hands then puts Ambrose in a corner. He bumps him off one buckle, then another buckle, but Ambrose kenes low. Ambrose runs but into a leaping lariat! EC3 scoop slams Ambrose, then has the fans say his name! Elbow drop! EC3 stalks Ambrose to a corner but Ambrose kicks and throws EC3 to a post! Ambrose taunts EC3 as he rains down rights. Ambrose lets up at the count of 4 but comes back to stomp a mudhole into him. He stops at 4 again but drags EC3 up to reel him in for a lariat! Cover, TWO! Ambrose wraps EC3 up in a chinlock. They go around and Ambrose traps an arm in a hammerlock. Fans duel as EC3 powers up and out with a snapmare.

EC3 throws hands with Ambrose and backs Ambrose down. He whips and elbows Ambrose down then hits a forearm smash! EC3 whips, reels Ambrose in, STO DDT! Fans fire up with EC3 as he runs corner to corner, but misses in the corner! Ambrose has EC3 in a bomb but EC3 jackknifes! EC3 wins!!

Winner: EC3, by pinfall

The Top One Percent wins his in-ring debut! Is this the first of many victories for the Best Here, the Best There and the Best Anywhere?

 

Backstage interview with Kurt Angle.

What would it mean to him to defeat the two men who “embarrassed” him 1v1 before? Well Angle wasn’t expecting to compete, but he was thinking of retiring. But then something told him to fight, and so that’s what he’s doing. He’s not fighting alone, either. The Monster Among Men comes over. Strowman never met a portapotty, a limousine, a semi-truck or a WWE superstar he didn’t want to destroy. Angle’s just glad to have him on his team. Strowman is honored to tag with Angle, and promises both McIntyre and Corbin will #GetTheseHands. Oh it’s true. It’s damn true. Will the Olympian and the Monster make the Scottish Terminator and Lone Wolf pay?

 

Mojo Rawley talks to himself again.

From football to Wall Street to the WWE, “they” have always wanted “you” to be part of the team. But being part of a team hasn’t really worked out well, has it? Mojo laughs at himself, but then shouts “Forget the team!” Now, it’s all about you. Will Mojo make the most of being all alone with himself?

 

Braun Strowman & Kurt Angle VS Drew McIntyre & Baron Corbin!

McIntyre and Corbin are no strangers when it comes to working together, especially when it comes to beating down Strowman. Of course, those were in situations where they outnumbered the Monster Among Men. Now things are even, and both Strowman and Angle are after some retribution. Will McIntyre & Corbin #GetTheseHands and some broken ankles? Or will they find a way to turn things around and get the better of the Hall of Famer again?

The teams sort out, and we begin with Corbin and Angle. They tie up and Angle gets a German Suplex already! Angle goes for the ankle but McIntyre saves Corbin. Strowman comes around and bulldozes McIntyre! Corbin runs into another German Suplex! Angle wants the ankle but Corbin rolls and shoves him away. McIntyre gives Angle the Glasgow Kiss! Angle is down while we take one last break.

Raw returns again and Corbin rocks Angle with a right. Fans boo but Corbin soaks up the heat. Corbin rocks Angle again, then mocks the fans for booing. Angle gets up but Corbin’s on him with a half nelson chinbar. Angle endures and McIntyre trash talks from the ropes. Strowman and the fans rally up for Angle, and Angle feeds off the energy. Corbin knees low and tags in McIntyre. They stomp a mudhole into Angle together, but let up at 4. McIntyre brings Angle out to CHOP him off his feet. McIntyre drags Angle up but Angle counter punches! But McIntyre powers him back tot he corner, tags Corbin, and Corbin rams shoulders into Angle. Corbin throws a punch but Angle counter punches again! Corbin knees low and whips but Angle reverses. But Corbin slides out then in while McIntyre tags, Corbin hits Strowman!

Angle goes after Corbin but McIntyre boots Angle down. McIntyre rains down hands but Strowman barges in. The referee keeps Strowman back but McIntyre gets distracted as he eggs Strowman on. Angle gets the Angle Slam but McIntyre slips out! McIntyre steals the Angle Slam! McIntyre laughs as he steals the ankle lock again! Angle endures his own hold all over again, but he refuses to quit! Angle crawls, reaches, and fans reach a fever pitch as Angle rolls McIntyre off! McIntyre stops from getting too close to Strowman, but that allows Angle to slip past and tag Strowman in! The Monster rallies on McIntyre and Corbin! Strowman headbutts McIntyre then runs corner to corner for the splash! And a clubbing forearm!

Fans fire up all over again as Strowman stalks McIntyre. Strowman scoops but McIntyre slips out. McIntyre shoves Strowman and Corbin dumps Strowman out. Tag to Corbin, and he leaps on Strowman with ax handles! Corbin soaks up the heat as he throws Strowman into the post. Corbin puts Strowman into the other post, then rams him into barriers! He finally puts Strowman into the ring and keeps him from Angle. Tag to McIntyre and they mug Strowman in the corner. McIntyre drags Strowman up for a neckbreaker! Cover, ONE! McIntyre tags Corbin and they double back suplex Strowman! Cover, TWO! Corbin grows frustrated but he and McIntyre coordinate. Fans rally up while McIntyre tags in. They mug Strowman then stomp a mudhole. Tag to Corbin and they go to double front suplex, but Strowman counters with a double suplex of his own!

Fans fire up again, and Strowman crawls for Angle. Hot tag to the Olympian! Geramn Suplex for Corbin! German Suplex for McIntyre! Another for Corbin! Angle clotheslines McIntyre out, then goes after Corbin. Corbin backs angle to a corner but Angle boots him! ANGLE SLAM! Cover, but McIntyre breaks it! Strowman blasts McIntyre with a shoulder! Strowman glares at Corbin but the ref keeps him back. Corbin brings up this will be a disqualification, but Strowman doesn’t care! He throws Corbin out of the ring!

Winners: Drew McIntyre & Baron Corbin, by disqualification

Who cares about rules? Strowman wants revenge! He wrecks Corbin and McIntyre on the outside, then he lines up the shot. Strowman runs Corbin over! He runs at McIntyre, but McIntyre sends him into barriers! Then CLAYMORE sends him over! Strowman is down in the front row, and McIntyre targets Angle in the ring. McIntyre drags Angle out to ram him into barriers! Corbin comes back and they double whip Angle into steel steps! Corbin moves the top half of the steps and then puts the bottom half in the ring. McIntyre fetches Angle and brings him over. They double choke grip but Strowman makes the save!

Strowman Choke Slams McIntyre on the steel steps! Then the same for Corbin! Strowman and Angle may have lost the match but they don’t look like the losers. Will they get another chance to show Angle’s still got it? Or is this good-bye to Angle wrestling in the ring?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A rather… odd episode of Raw tonight. I would like everyone to know that as of last week’s SmackDown, I all but predicted the route they’re taking with Becky. Stephanie bringing up the bad knee and there being the seed planted of a “replacement” follows in what I had guessed, but I didn’t think it would be a Stone Cold style suspension on top of the bad leg. But as I said then, I’ll say now: even with Charlotte being the apparent substitute, Becky will get herself cleared and is still part of the match. I didn’t want the Triple Threat, as many fans also feel, but I guess I’m just that attuned to the WWE’s way of thinking.

Ronda herself is taking an interesting turn. She destroyed two-thirds of the Riott Squad in her “anger”, which kinda buries them just weeks before the Elimination Chamber tag match. But Ronda as a character almost went Heel getting upset that fans were booing. I wonder if that’s a sign of a real turn before Mania. Ruby plays it smart like any good Heel, but her line about Ronda not having friends might come back to haunt her once the MMA Horsewomen wrap things up in NXT. Whether Ronda takes her break right after Mania or not, if Shayna, Jessamyn and Marina show up, they can have a Six Woman Tag with The Squad to prove they’re Ronda’s friends. In fact, that might be a good way to get those three Horsewomen going on the path to the Horsewomen VS Horsewomen match.

Good on Heavy Machinery for being utility guys on both shows right now. But because Raw still has a hard time with their tag division, Tucker & Otis didn’t have as great a showing. But good for The Revival to get another shot, and I hope this time they get those titles. The Revival is already one foot out the door, or two since they’re a duo, but maybe a title run from Chamber to Mania to past Mania will keep them in WWE. Especially if they, Roode & Gable get to tear it up in a tag classic like back in NXT. Then in the Women’s Tag, it was odd that it was all put on Bayley to win the qualifier. I hope WWE isn’t backtracking to when those two were enemies, because WWE screwed that up. But at least #LegitHuggable made the predictable win better with that performance.

The Moment of Bliss segment was pretty funny, with Ambrose joking with Nia about a crush and then trolling EC3 with all those questions. I really do hope Ambrose leaving WWE for good is just a work. Fans in Portland really like Ambrose and I myself wouldn’t want him to just up and leave. Though, him against EC3 in a really sad match wasn’t how to use him or EC3. EC3 can drop great promos, but why is he being mute? Honestly, I thought there was going to be a tease of co-ed tag, Ambrose forced to work with EC3 to take on Samoan Dynasty. But again, I still don’t know if WWE would go into a full co-ed match so soon.

I’m surprised we got Elias VS Jarrett so soon. Elias wins despite Road Dogg being ringside, but clearly the guitar smash afterward means this is far from over. There might be a way to still put this for Mania if WWE waits to revisit it. I’m also surprised about getting Angle-Strowman teaming already, as I had expected last week but for Mania. But in similar fashion, the Heels win but there are extracurricular activities that make me think they’ll revisit this at Mania. If Angle is truly wrapping up wrestling, Mania is the better place for his final match where he wins rather than stands tall. That way everyone around the world watching Mania can celebrate his victorious retirement rather than just those who watched Raw tonight.

Seth Rollins has an apparent elbow injury, but everyone expects it to only be a month at most. Which is fine, Rollins doesn’t need a Chamber match, and there are ways to hype Rollins VS Lesnar with promos instead of punches. If Lesnar can take time off, so can Rollins. That way Rollins is 100% rested and he can truly #SlaytheBeast. Finn playing up not being 100% was pretty good, but there was perhaps a missed memo or two. Lashley said their match was for the title, but no one else did. Swerving for Lio VS Finn was great, though, I was hoping Lio would wrestle on Raw. The match would’ve been better if not for Lashley adding on, but it was still good. Finn wins but his title match isn’t official, so something else has to happen before Chamber if that’s when it happens.

My Score: 7.9/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 5.2.2024

Under Siege is tomorrow! Yeah the card looks pretty awful, but maybe this Go Home will spice things up!

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Not gonna mislead anyone here, Under Siege looks nearly as bad as a Steven Segal film by the same name. Lots of useless tag matches, only really the X Division title to care about. It reminds me of a “Road to” show that New Japan does. Bunch of worthless matches with a few story wrinkles but entirely skippable.

Hopefully something crazy happens or the show is good enough to cover the bad card. But let’s hope something happens tonight to maybe create some reason to watch.

Ratings:

  • Mustafa Ali vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin: Ali wins via 450 – **
  • Dani Luna w/Jody Threat vs Alisha Edwards w/Masha Slamovich: Lish wins via Russian Death Device – ** 1/4
  • Hammerstone vs Cody Deaner: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – *
  • #1 Contender Match: Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz: Ace wins via The Fold – ***
  • TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Miyu Yamashita: Grace retains via Juggernaut Driver – *** 1/2

 

Results:

Mustafa Ali vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin

Ali with a simple Headlock takeover, Bey fights back up and tries to create something with a rope run; but Ali gets the best of things with a Back Elbow. Ali gets cocky as Bey retreats to the corner, Bey turns things around quickly, lands the 10 Count Punches in the corner, Ali tries to fight back but Bey snaps off a quick DDT for a near fall. As Bey goes to continue the offense, Ali Drop Toe Holds Bey into the ropes neck first. Ali again, demonstrating some of the worst in-ring trash talk, Bey turns things around since Ali is running his mouth too much. Ali gets set in the Tree of Woe, Bey goes across to another corner and does a Coast to Coast Elbow Drop as Ali tries to sit up. Honestly, stupid looking since its obviously too coordinated. No one would stay half sat up just to eat an elbow.

While the move looked cool, I now care significantly less about what’s going on. Illogical spots just because “they’re cool”, should not be rewarded. Bey controls the match after the stupid spot, hits his Corner Uppercut Hip Attack, Ali tries to duck a few moves and create something but eats a Spinebuster for 2. Art of Finesse attempt, but Ali shoves him to the outside. Working back inside Ali goes for his Rolling Neckbreaker but Bey connects with a Roundhouse Kick to stop Ali in his tracks. Fighting Spirit spot, they run into the ropes, Ali has a bad Double Leg takedown that he tries to turn into a Cradle with feet on the ropes, but Ace pushes the feet off.

As security starts to move on Ace, Ali hits a Suicida, then Bey connects on a Tope con Hilo. Bey starts rocking Ali, hits the Kudome Valentine but Ali manages to pull himself under the bottom rope just enough to avoid losing. Bey climbs the corner, Ali German Suplexes Bey to the apron, Ali goes for the 450, misses, Bey goes to finish the match but the security get involved again, hit Bey with the flag and then Ali lands the 450 for the win.

I liked when the Security Guards were window dressing instead of mooks to cheat with. This just makes the matches dumber and significantly less interesting, especially when its nameless mooks and its not even a talent getting heat. 

Dani Luna w/Jody Threat vs Alisha Edwards w/Masha Slamovich

Dani starts strong and fast, forearm shots, lariats and a quick near fall sends Alisha retreating to the ropes to get some advice from Masha. Dani goes to attack Lish, Lish with a Drop Toe Hold, Masha takes advantage of the distracted ref and Lish hits a Satellite DDT and then taunts entirely too much. As Lish talks too much, Dani stands up and starts beating the hell out of Lish, Suplex into the rope assisted Blue Thunder Bomb. Dani goes for the Luna Landing, but Masha climbs on the apron, distraction happens, then Lish goes after Jody and the ref stays distracted with Lish. Masha slides into the ring, Roundhouse Kick into the Russian Death Device and Lish turns around for the win!

Sami’s little segment is aptly named DMTv since it feels like a weird hallucination or trip with the way he does stuff. 

Hammerstone vs Cody Deaner

Am I supposed to care about this? Hammerstone looks like he’s chiseled out of granite and Deaner looks like he’s fished out of a trailer park. Hammerstone says a lot of how I feel that the Deaner schtick is pathetic. Deaner says he’s given the power to add a stipulation, Hammer says Arm Wrestling Match, Deaner wants a Sin City Street Fight. So we know what the crowd will pick. Christ this is so carny even Court Bauer blushed.

Deaner bonks Hammer with the mic, low dropkick, goes to grab a trash can lid and hits Hammer…but it just pisses off Captain Hammer. Stomps a mudhole in him, Irish Whip into a Back Elbow and Hammer deposits him to the outside to utilize the gimmick I would assume. This is going on much longer than it should, Deaner finds a chair, clocks Hammer once, goes for Twice, but this isn’t Kpop; so Hammer says no and hits him with a Backbreaker. Then Hammer hits him with a chairshot, 10 Count Punches in the corner, Sack of Shit, Deaner goes for the Ricky Morton lean against the ropes and sell to the crowd spot, but Hammer leans into him and starts using the chair again.

Deaner does his nerd Hulk Up, tries to call for a Body Slam but Hammer doesn’t move and drops the dweeb down. Deaner is back to the begging the crowd Ricky Morton spot…but the crowd doesn’t care since Deaner is a jabroni. Hammer tosses Deaner like a pizza ribs first into the back of the chair and just takes a few moments to revel in his handwork. Deaner fights back, lands a few right hands, tries to call for the Body Slam again like an idiot, gets Hammer half way and falls over so Hammer just rains down punches (can we end this waste of time please). Hellavator, I mean Nightmare Pendulum but Deaner floats over and lands the Scoop Slam onto the steel chair for only 2.

The crowd starts chanting for table, so of course Deaner obliges…this is going on so damn long. Hammer no sells the forearm, Vertical Suplex, goozle, and then Hammer Chokeslams Deaner through the table and calls to for the Torture Rack. Deaner is Rack’d and dead. ‘Bout damn time.

Like a Torpedo, Something is there…

I’m mad at myself that I popped for Ball of Speed. I’m not even sure why, but I like it.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it at least 3 dozen times, Joe Hendry is a treasure. Starting with a medley of the insult songs to lead into the Creed parody is genius. Odd apology, but I respect it. “Can you please get fired…”, such a great song.

#1 Contender Match: Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz

Typical Junior style start with counters and some chain wrestling and then a quick tension spot where Trey slaps Ace and then they fire off on each other for a few seconds before they get broken up because its just a shmoz. Trey baits Ace to the outside, Up and Over but Ace lands on the apron and then Wentz picks the ankle as Trey feigns injury to distract the referee. Back Rake back into the ring and just insulting Knife Edge Chops at a deliberate pace. Commercial break happens and Trey is still in charge. Ace shoots the Double and turns it into a Jacknife Cradle for 2 but Ace is still visibly hobbled.

Trey tries to keep Ace grounded but he tries to fire up and Trey finds different ways to keep Ace grounded including a Running Bodyscissors into Full Mount. Kick combination rush from Trey as he goes for the Asai Moonsault to punctuate it but Ace gets the knees up. Short range Knee Strike, Click Click Boom, Corner Splash Seated Lariat spot into a Triangle Kick for 2! Ace looks to set up The Fold, Wentz distracts, Trey grabs tights! But Ace kicks out! Trey with the Backflip Back of the Head Dropkick. Bey levels Wentz and Trey is talking shit to the fans, Ace goes for the Crucifix Pin, but kicks out at 2.

Jackie Bryant Headlock Kick from Trey, but Ace blocks it. Triangle Kick misses, Ace tries to jump on him but misses, Cheeky Nandos, then Trey heads up but Ace cuts him off. They struggle on the top rope, Trey Bell Claps Ace, Ace tries to duck but Trey turns it into the Sunset Flip, locomotion float away, Ace Face Stomp into The Fold! Ace wins!

The Bald Bearded Canadians, good ole team BBC…wait…

TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Miyu Yamashita

They start off respectfully, which is what you expect since Miyu is well respected in this generation. A few Headlock Takeovers, Shoulder Blocks and finally Miyu drops Jordynne with a Switchblade Kick. Miyu goes to follow up, but Jordynne catches the kick and T-Bone Suplex gives Jordynne a near fall. Juggernaut Driver early, but Miyu counters, rams Jordynne into the corner, Triangle Kick from Miyu for 2! Cravat into Knee Strikes and then a PK to the spine keeps Miyu in control. Miyu lets Jordynne up and they trade strikes a bit, Jordynne’s arms prove to be a little stronger than Miyu’s legs, takes out the legs and then the Jackhammer on the floor from Jordynne!

Jordynne tries to roll Miyu back in, but Miyu continues to roll out to buy some space, Jordynne goes for a dive and eats a foot. Miyu looks for an Apron Death Valley Driver, Jordynne fights it a while but Miyu eventually gets her over and down on the apron for 2. Miyu with a Headlock Takeover, but both ties the other one up and the ropes save the awkward but effective exchange. Strike exchange number 2. Miyu no sells a few Scoop Slams and lands Round Kicks. Spinning Backfist and Round Kick connect simultaneously for both women to drop.

Jordynne charges, Pink Striker tries to block with the front kick, but Jordynne plows through with a Back Elbow. Kinniku Buster attempt but Miyu knows how to get away from that and fights off with Knee Strikes, Jordynne is rocked but fights back up and Avalanche Back Body Drop for 2! Jordynne no sells a Roundhouse Kick, Miyu no sells a Lariat then another kick from Miyu and a Back Kick to the face for 2. Skull Kick attempt, blocked, Juggernaut Driver out of nowhere to retain!

 

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The second half of the show was pretty damn good, but God was the first half useless. Hammerstone and Deaner went on far too long, that was dumb, it looked dumb, I felt dumb watching it. Ali’s match was garbage with the stupid spot monkey indie garbage spot. If I want to watch wrestling that makes less sense than Chinese Dramas with Hindi subtitles, I’ll watch AEW and have a stroke.

Thankfully, Joe Hendry got a good chunk of time, the Trey and Ace match was pretty good and overlooking the stupid run in after match stuff, the Knockouts match itself was pretty damn good. So the new bookers have really consistently done this stuff, where there’s a ton of overbooked stupidity, but they sprinkle in enough okay stuff to make me not completely lose faith. OH – and we do get Kushida versus Gresham tomorrow, so at least that strengthens the lackluster card.

Lets see if they ever figure out how to really book, or if they eventually go full TNA 2015.


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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (5/2/24)

The Queen is chasing the crown!

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Will the One and Only become the #1 contender?

Queen Aminata wants after Athena and the ROH Women’s World Championship, but she will still earn her way to a shot, starting with a match tonight!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Infantry VS The Outrunners; The Infantry wins.
  • Nyla Rose VS Camron Branae; Nyla wins.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Grounds: The Undisputed Kingdom VS The Qrown; The Kingdom wins and denies The Qrown a title match.
  • Toa Liona VS Jimmy Wild; Liona wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The Dark Order VS Adam Priest, Zicky Dice & Sean Maluta; The Dark Order wins.
  • Aaron Solo VS Jon Cruz; Solo wins.
  • Queen Aminata VS Robyn Renegade; Aminata wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Infantry VS The Outrunners!

Captain Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo have had it with Turbo Floyd & Truth Magnum! It’s one thing to use the same finishing move and rename it, but then The Outrunners’ new gear is camouflage, and they start using the Infantry’s catchphrases! Will Turbo & Truth get sent to Boot Camp? Or will Dean & Bravo be sent into Miami Overdrive?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who is this accompanying The Outrunners? Lazer Linda? So now they’re copying Infantry in having a female team member? Trish Adora steps into the ring to get a good look at Linda. Linda flexes on Adora, so Adora gives her a LARIAT TUBMAN! The Outrunners are upset but then Dean & Bravo storm up to throw hands! The ref reprimands but The Infantry keep throwing hands. Dean whips Truth and Bravo whips Turbo, but the Outrunners both reverse that. Dean and Bravo both dodge, then they both fake the Outrunners out! Those dropkicks get nothing, and then The Infantry DROPKICK The Outrunners!

The Outrunners bail out, The Infantry fire up and Daily’s Place fires up with them! The ref says they finally need to sort out, so Bravo falls back. Truth flounders in, the bell finally sounds, and Dean arm-drags Turbo around! Dean keeps Turbo from Truth, tags Bravo in, and then Dean wrenches while Bravo hops up. Bravo AX HANDLES Turbo’s arm, then brings him around to wrench. Tag to Dean, he goes up and AX HANDLES! Then the Infantry double whip, and double atomic drop, for a double HIP TOSS! The Infantry now mock The Outrunners, before the double FIST DROP! Turbo flounders away and tags in Truth!

Truth runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Then another DOUBLE FIST DROP! Cover, TWO! Truth stays in this but Dean storms up on him. Turbo distracts the ref, Truth pokes Dean in the eye! Truth blames it on the sunset, then bumps Dean off buckles. Tag to Turbo and the Outrunners mug Dean. Tag back to Truth, he goes up, BACKBREAKER, and then Truth winds up! But Bravo sneaks behind enemy lines to get Dean outta there, Truth’s knee drop turns into an accidental atomic drop! The Infantry then get in and TOSS Turbo! Bravo aims to PLANCHA! Down goes Turbo and the fans fire up again!

Dean brings Truth up, throws hands, then tags in Bravo. Dean scoops Truth, Bravo goes up, and they hit the BACKBREAKER and “Grenade” KNEE DROP! The fans fire up more and Bravo brings Truth up. Truth throws a shot but Bravo hits back. Bravo whips, Truth reverses, but Bravo gets around! Turbo tags in before the O’Conner Roll! Turbo runs up but Bravo dodges him to SUPERKICK! Turbo ends up on ropes, and Bravo ROCKS Truth! Bravo whips, Truth reverses and Turbo BODY SHOTS! Turbo BLASTS Dean, gets Bravo, and sends him into Truth’s BOOTS! Bravo staggers, Turbo CLAWS him on the back!

Tag to Truth and the Outrunners mug Turbo. The fans are torn, but Truth CHOPS Bravo in a corner! Truth spins around while the fans “WOO~!” Truth then storms back up, whips corner to corner, but Bravo reverses. Bravo runs up, but slides under as Truth goes up! Bravo then trips Truth, and asks if he should. The fans say yes, so Bravo YANKS Truth backwards into the POST! Bravo high-fives fans, but then Turbo FLYING AX HANDLES off the apron! Dean protests but there’s nothing he can do as Turbo puts Bravo back in. Truth drags Bravo over, tags Turbo, and Turbo drops an elbow! Cover, TWO!

Turbo drags Bravo up, tags Truth back in, and they mug Bravo with a big kick! Bravo sputters while the Outrunners flex. Truth whips, Bravo sunset flips, but Truth flails! Truth reaches for the literal sunset but Bravo finishes the flip, TWO! Bravo reaches for Dean but Truth trips him up! Tag to Turbo, and he drops down into a CROSSFACE! Bravo endures, fights up, but Turbo tags Truth. The Infantry get Bravo up, but Bravo BOOTS Turbo away! Bravo ELBOWS Truth, then ROCKS Turbo! And repeat! And repeat! Bravo runs, but into the DOUBLE HIP TOSS! The Outrunners shake hands and flex, DOUBLE ELBOW DROP!

Turbo BLASTS Dean, Truth covers, but Dean gets back in to kick it! Truth is upset but he stomps Bravo. Truth whips Bravo to the corner, then he BLASTS Dean again! Truth runs at Bravo but Bravo slips out to the apron! Truth hits buckles, Turbo storms up but Bravo dodges by going back inside! Bravo then slips out the other side, and Truth runs into Turbo! Bravo slingshots in for a STUNNER! The fans fire up as Bravo crawls for his corner, but Turbo grabs a foot! Turbo drags Bravo up, back suplexes, but Bravo lands out! Bravo avoids both Outrunners to hot tag Dean! The fans fire up as The Captain rallies on The Outrunners!

Dean fires haymakers and LARIATS! Then a back drop for Truth! The fans fire up as Dean runs in to give Turbo a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Dean goes corner to corner, blocks Truth’s boots, and puts him in ropes for an ENZIGIRI! Truth flops down, Turbo takes a swing, but Dean slips around to DDT! Dean kips up, the fans fire up, and they join Dean in an “OORAH!” JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, Truth breaks it! Truth TOSSES Dean out, but Bravo runs up! CARLIE CROSSOVER! Down goes Truth, but Turbo CLUBS Bravo! BIG back suplex! But Dean’s up top! FLYING SPLASH! Cover, Truth runs in, but Dean moves! The AX HANDLE hits Turbo!

Truth panics and apologizes, but then sees Dean! Truth wants mercy, but then he goes to poke eyes! Dean blocks those, bends those fingers, but Turbo CLUBS Dean down! The Outrunners shift into gear, MIAMI OVER- NO, Dean slips around and the BOOT hits Truth! Tag to Bravo and they get Turbo, for BOOT CAMP! Cover, Infantry wins!

Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall

Often imitated, never duplicated! The one, true Russian Leg Sweep Boot combo shines through, and that’s no cap! Dean & Bravo finally settle things with Turbo & Truth, will they march forward to settle things with The Undisputed Kingdom next?

 

Matthew Menard & Angelo Parker speak.

Cool Hand Ange tells Daddy Magic that things have been rather weird lately, to say the least. Not too long ago, Parker was on Rampage, going to make an announcement he told no one about, and the truth is, he was ready to retire. He felt he didn’t have anything left to fight for. Then he got the biggest news of his entire life, he found out he’s gonna be a dad! And if that doesn’t light a fire under your ass, then what does? So now, Ruby Soho is going to be at home, being a mom to their child, and Parker had to think, “What’s next?” Then he realized, there is a hell of a lot to fight for now, isn’t there?

Menard says how ’bout it? Ruby’s at home, nesting. Cool Hand Ange has priorities in order and Menard loves it! And tell ya right now, Menard has a problem with The Undisputed Kingdom. The ROH World Tag Team Champions, right? So how about this? They get the van, they pack it up, and they start taking a road trip! Van, train, airplane, who cares?! They’re heading to a certain place called The Promised Land! So get ready, boys! No doubt! Ever-Rise, 2Point0, X-JAS, will the next titles Menard & Parker go by be ROH World Tag Team Champions?

 

ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Grounds: The Undisputed Kingdom VS The Qrown!

Speaking of, Matt Taven & Mike Bennett are here to defend those titles! Or at least, make teams earn their way to a shot at the titles. Will The Kingdom check another team off the list? Or will Leonis & Maximus Khan be one step away from the crown?

The teams sort out, Bennett starts against Leonis, and the Code of Honor is kept. The bell rings, the fans rally up, and the two circle. They tie up, and the bigger Leonis powers Bennett to the corner. The ref counts, Leonis lets off, but Bennett kicks low! Bennett CHOPS, then brings Leonis around to ROCK him! Bennett stomps and CHOPS Leonis, then tags Taven. The Kingdom double whip, dropkick the legs out then Taven ELBOW DROPS! Cover, TWO! Taven throws down hands, stomps Leonis over and over, even at the ropes! Taven CHOKES Leonis, lets off, and the fans cheer as Taven tags Bennett.

Taven CHOPS Leonis, Bennett stomps and CHOPS, then ROCKS him again! And stomps, and ROCKS! Bennett ROCKS Leonis again, talks trash, then tags Taven. Taven CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Taven then reels Leonis in, but Leonis throws body shots! Taven CLUBS Leonis down, tags Bennett, and they bring Leonis in. But Leonis powers out, ROCKS Taven, then ROCKS Bennett! Leonis throws haymakers, then an UPPERCUT for Bennett! Then Leonis catches Taven to OVERHEAD SUPLEX him away! Maximus reaches out but Bennett whips Leonis into a BOOT! Bennett FOREARMS, Taven LARIATS! Bennett covers, TWO!

The fans rally and Bennett stomps Leonis. Bennett CHOPS Leonis, tells him to get up, then brings him to a neutral corner. Bennett ROCKS Leonis, brings him over, and tags Taven. Taven fires up Daily’s Place before he swings, but Leonis dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! Taven knees low, tags Bennett, and The Kingdom double whip. Leonis holds ropes, KICKS Bennett, then TOSSES Taven! Bennett kicks Leonis first, then reels him in, but Leonis back drops free! Hot tag to Maximus! Maximus rallies on The Kingdom with big LARIATS! Bennett runs up, Maximus dodges then URENAGES! The fans fire up with Maximus and he brings Bennett up.

But Taven springboards, KICK OF THE KING! Bennett BLASTS Leonis, Taven goes up! HAIL MARY PILEDRIVER!! Cover, The Kingdom wins!

Winners: The Undisputed Kingdom, by pinfall (denies The Qrown a title opportunity)

Taven & Bennett just showed The Qrown aren’t #NeckStrong enough, and now The Kingdom is moving on. But will they soon cross paths with Menard & Parker?

 

JD Drake speaks.

“You ever been lost? Lord knows I have. I’ve been lost for the last month. In light of recent events, my brain’s been foggy, I haven’t been able to articulate words, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. It’s showing up in my in-ring work, it’s showing up in my personal life at home. Hell, it’s showing in my bowling game at home, too. The other night during league, I asked myself, ‘Hey, where do I go from here?'” JD asked the lady cashier for change on $5, he only got back four bills. Three ones, and a $2! Yeah, a real $2, those still exists.

JD says his grandfather recently passed away, February of this year, God rest his soul, would put a $2 in every grandchild’s picture frame. JD once asked why he did that, he said it’s because they’re gonna need to talk to him one day, and this $2 was gonna be the message. Granddad would also say, when times get tough, you’ve got two choices: quit, or tighten your bootstraps up and get back to work. So while the Workhorsmen may not be a thing for the foreseeable future, time for JD to be a workhorse man. The Blue Collar Badass is gonna punch in, knockout, and give ROH a $2 ass kicking. Scrap Metal is ready to scrap, will he turn that $2 into championship gold?

 

The Iron Savages speak.

Bulk Bronson says, “Underappreciated. Underutilized. Undervalued. We, the Iron Savages, have been parading around like a circus act for an entire year, winning over the hearts of the ROH fans and keeping them all entertained.” Jacked Jameson asks, “Are we in any tournaments?” Bronson & Boulder both say, “No.” Are they on any PPVs? No. And y’know what? No more goofy savages, no more popping the crowd! Boulder says the adoration is not bringing them success. Time for the Iron Savages, yes, the Iron Savages, to live up to their potential! Jameson says frankly, fat morons and skinny idiots don’t deserve their entertainment.

They aren’t changing their game plan, it just means they’re done winning over “Low T losers!” They’re just gonna win. They’re sippin’ sauce, livin’ hoss, and EVERYBODY is going to #TiddyCity! Will these three start tearing their way through the ROH Tag & Trios Divisions until they’re sinking their teeth into titles?

 

Aaron Solo VS Jon Cruz!

Aaron is tired of riding solo and going nowhere, so in order to get back in the good graces of Johnny TV, he’s gotta get that W back! Or in this case, he just has to get wins period! Will he be able to do that here at Daily’s Place where he became All Elite? Or will Serpentico’s human friend get his own great homecoming win?

Cruz gets the fans fired up as he offers The Code of Honor. Solo takes it, the bell rings, and then Solo kicks low! Solo DECKS Cruz, has him in a corner, and bumps him off buckles. Solo stomps a mudhole in, digs his boots in and laughs, but lets off as the ref counts. Solo brings Cruz up, snap suplexes, then smiles as he soaks up the heat. Cruz flounders, the fans rally, but Solo throws hands. Solo whips, Cruz ducks ‘n’ dodges and RANAS! Solo flounders, Cruz keeps moving and he LARIATS! The fans fire up with Cruz and he brings Solo around. Cruz scoops to POWERSLAM, then fires up as he shakes the ropes!

The fans cheer as Cruz points to a corner. Cruz goes up, aims, and then FROG SPLASH FLOPS as Solo moves! GERMAN SUPLEX! Cruz springs up but Solo gives him the DREAMCAST KICK! Cover, Solo wins!

Winner: Aaron Solo, by pinfall

Solo makes sure Johnny TV saw that! There’s the first win, will he get more and more until he proves he’s TV Ready like Johnny & Taya?

 

Queen Aminata VS Robyn Renegade!

The One and Only African Woman Wrestler is an uncrowned queen here in ROH, but she is going to fight her way back up to her revenge! Will she be unstoppable as she chases down Athena and Billie Starkz? Or will this Renegade defy Aminata’s authority?

The Code of Honor is kept, the bell rings, and the fans rally for Aminata with “YES, QUEEN!” The two tie up, Aminata headlocks and she grinds Renegade. Renegade brings Aminata down, pops out the back and headlocks in return. Aminata endures, brings Renegade to her knee, and pops out the back to wrench, step over, and twerk attack! The fans cheer but Renegade is frustrated. Aminata hammerlocks, headlocks and hits the takeover. Renegade moves around, fights up, and powers up, only for Aminata to hold on tight. Aminata wrenches, Robyn breaks free and ENZIGIRIS! Then BACKSTABBER!

Aminata crawls, Robyn soaks up the heat and she kicks rocks before she runs up. Aminata puts Renegade on the apron, shoulders in but gets a DOUBLE STOMP for it! Renegade talks trash, kicks Aminata to the floor, then brings her back up to put her in the ring. Renegade brings Aminata up, reels her in, but Aminata turns things into a cradle! TWO, and Aminata runs up to LARIAT! Renegade gets up, Aminata LARIATS again! Renegade swings, but into a spin, snapmare, and PENALTY KICK! Back of the onion bag with that one! Aminata fires the fans up, runs side to side, and she DROPKICKS Renegade through ropes!

Aminata reminds us, she’s the one and only! But then we see Athena & Billie watching this backstage! Athena whispers something to Billie, perhaps some opening or weakness in Aminata’s game. Billie seems to concur while Aminata scuffs Renegade. Cover, TWO! Renegade holds on but Aminata brings her up. Alabama Lift, but Renegade sunset flips and high stacks! TWO, and Renegade swings, but into a wrench and facelock, snap suplex! Emphasis on the snap as Renegade flounders to a corner. The fans fire up and Aminata runs corner to corner, but Renegade ELBOWS back! Renegade runs in, gets around, half nelson FACEBUSTER!

Renegade sits Aminata up, runs and SHOTGUNS her down! Cover, TWO! Aminata is tougher than that but Renegade snarls. The fans taunt Renegade, “ROBYN SUCKS!” Renegade drags Aminata up, fireman’s carries, and swing into the DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Aminata stays in this but clutches her neck and back. Robyn is frustrated, but she drags Aminata up. Robyn DOUBLE CHOPS! Aminata is annoyed, but Robyn pushes her around. Robyn winds up, Aminata BOOTS the lariat, then DOUBLE CHOPS in return! And CHOPS again! And waistlocks, to GERMAN SUPLEX!

Robyn ends up in the corner again, and Aminata runs up, SWEET HIP MUSIC! But Aminata goes side to side to add the BOOT WASH!! Aminata says it is done now! She drags Robyn back up to HEADBUTT, Alabama Lift, and AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, Aminata wins!

Winner: Queen Aminata, by pinfall

Athena & Billie are not happy with that result, they storm off. Aminata is not just ready, she is looking better than ever! Will not even The Fallen Goddess be able to deny The Queen her crown?


My Thoughts:

A very good episode of ROH, mostly because it was under an hour. Yes, I still skipped things but c’mon, it was obvious Nyla was going to win, as were Liona and The Dark Order. Great opener from Infantry VS Outrunners to settle their feud, and I love that the Outrunners went as far as to get a female member of the team to parody Adora, just as I was thinking they would. Great win for Infantry, they’ll definitely get back in the ROH Tag title conversation in time for the next ROH PPV. And very good Proving Ground match, good showing for The Qrown in their first ROH match. But even so, of course The Kingdom was winning.

As such, we got a really good promo from Menard & Parker. I really hope they get a strong showing here in ROH now that they’re teaming together again. And there’s still Maria wanting Griff & Karter going after the titles, there’s needs to be something big in the works for the ROH Tag Division. And really good promo from JD Drake. Granted, this is another case where Tony Khan does something in his booking/running of the company that kinda forces his talent into these worked shoot promos, what with Anthony Henry being released while he’s injured. But JD did a great job referencing that without having to say it, and I hope he gets going in the singles division.

Good promo from The Iron Savages to officially go Heel, but given the unified AEW & ROH Trios champs are also Heels, we aren’t seeing Bronson, Boulder & Jameson holding gold any time soon. Good match from Solo, but I was hoping he’d have to struggle a little longer before he could win and do what Johnny TV dared him to do. And then very good match from Aminata VS Robyn, especially with the detail of Athena & Billie watching. Aminata of course wins, and I would think she skips revenge on Billie to go right to the head of the snake. Aminata VS Athena will be a great match, and really should be the moment Athena passes on the torch as far as being ROH Women’s World Champion.

My Score: 8.6/10


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