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Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Results & Report! (5/8/20)

The Matches That Made: Oney Lorcan!

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NEW 205 Live Coverage

The Fury of WWE 205 Live shares his favorites!

WWE 205 Live continues the retrospective, and that brings us to Oney Lorcan! Watch the No Disqualification Tag Match, as well as a classic from WCW!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Starrcade 1996 – Title Unification: Dean Malenko VS Ultimo Dragon; Dragon wins and
  • 2/21/20 – No Disqualifications Tag Match: Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch VS Ariya Daivari & THE Brian Kendrick; Lorcan & Burch win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Tom Philips welcomes us back to 205 Live.

The Interim Cruiserweight Championship tournament continues on NXT, to the chagrin of current champion, Jordan Devlin. But the retrospective continues here tonight, and we dive into the mind of Oney Lorcan. A crazy endeavor to be sure, but to help with that, Phillips welcomes an accomplished man in pro-wrestling commentary, it’s Jeremy Borash! Borash is honored to make his WWE TV debut here tonight, as he has worked with some of the best in the business. And now he’s working with Phillips. But from WCW Nitro to WWE 205 Live, quite the stretch. But enough about Borash, we send things over to Oney, who is doing an at-home work-out.

Oney chucks logs around before saying, “Sup.” Oney was asked to pick a match that made him. The match he chose is one he watched over and over as a little Lorcan. It is Starrcade ’96, “Ice Man” Dean Malenko and Ultimo Dragon, with nine titles on the line. Every Cruiserweight today is influenced by this one. So sit back, relax, and throw ’em up for this one!

Starrcade 1996 – Title Unification: Dean Malenko VS Ultimo Dragon!

December 29th, 1996, the WCW Cruiserweight Championship was set to fuse with the NJPW “J-Crown” title! And yes, Oney’s math is correct. The J-Crown was the unified form of EIGHT Cruiserweight/Junior Heavyweight titles! Witness perhaps the most historic match in all of Cruiserweight/Junior Heavyweight wrestling!

For that matter, Sonny Onoo helps Dragon carry out all eight belts under his possession! Michinoku Pro’s British Commonwealth Junior Heavyweight Championship! NJPW’s IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship! The NWA’s World Junior Heavyweight Championship! CMLL’s NWA World Welterweight Championship! The World Wrestling Association’s WWA World Junior Light Heavyweight Championship! Wrestle Association R’s WAR International Junior Heavyweight Championship! The UWA World Junior Light Heavyweight Championship, as shared by Michinoku Pro and Universal Wrestling Association! And lastly, the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship as shared by Michonoku Pro, NJPW and the World Wrestling Federation! All these belts will join with the WCW Cruiserweight Championship, but who will be the GREATEST Cruiserweight in the world after this match?

The bell rings and Dragon circles with Malenko. They keep out of each other’s grasp but then tie up. Malenko puts Dragon in the corner but the ref counts. The two break and go again. Dragon blocks the drop toehold but not for long. Malenko gets a facelock but Dragon spins and slips out fast to get his own. Malenko slips out to get a hammerlock and leans on Dragon. Dragon fights his way up and trips Malenko to get a toehold. Dragon cranks and wrenches the leg to a heel hook. Malenko endures, rolls, and both men end up on the ropes. The ref calls for the break and both men get back up. They go again and fans fire up as Dragon gets Malenko down. Dragon chinlocks but Malenko endures. Malenko fights his way up to wristlock. Dragon rolls, handsprings and wrenches back. Malenko endures, handsprings and wrenches back to then arm-drag into a wristlock and headscissors.

Dragon endures while Onoo talks Dragon up. Onoo already wonders what to do with that ninth belt. Maybe that one will hold his pants up. Dragon kips out of the headscissor and fans cheer again. Malenko and Dragon go around, tie up, and Dragon kicks low. Dragon snapmares and kicks Malenko in the back! And again! Dragon kicks Malenko while he’s down and then again. Malenko gives Dragon a snap back suplex! Both men are down and the fans fire up! A standing count begins and Malenko rises first. Fans fire up as Malenko drags Dragon up. Malenko snapmares and chinlocks Dragon, then drags him back into headscissors. Malenko squeezes tight but Dragon endures. Dragon rolls Malenko and pops out the back to stomp Malenko down. Dragon drags Malenko up to snap suplex! Cover, TWO! Dragon keeps on Malenko with another chinlock. Malenko endures as Dragon leans on him. Fans chant “USA! USA!” but Dragon scrapes his soles on Malenko’s face.

Dragon unleashes kick after kick then kicks Malenko down! He turns Malenko over for a Half Crab! Then shifts right to an STF! Malenko endures as the crossface covers his eyes. Malenko blindly pushes up but Dragon shifts to keep the headlock. Malenko powers out but Dragon runs him over. Things speed up, Malenko hurdles but Dragon leaps over. Malenko kips up but into a kick from Dragon. Dragon puts Malenko in a corner to CHOP and kick! Dragon whips but Malenko reverses. Malenko sees Dragon going up and over and shoves him out to the floor! Fans fire up as Malenko builds speed. Dragon avoids the baseball slide to scoop and slam Malenko down! Dragon leaves Malenko behind to build speed, but he fakes Malenko out with the springboard. And he still DIVES out! Direct hit and both men go down! Fans rally up as the ring count climbs. Malenko and Dragon stir at about 4, then slowly stand at 6. Dragon puts Malenko in at 7 and drops an elbow. Cover, TWO!

Dragon drags Malenko up but Malenko blocks the suplex to snap suplex Dragon back! Fans cheer as both men are down again. Another standing count begins and fans rally up. Dragon crawls to cover Malenko, TWO! Onoo is annoyed but Dragon whips. Malenko sunset flips, TWO!! Dragon kicks Malenko in frustration, not liking how close that was. Dragon turns Malenko for a stiff neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Dragon stretches Malenko’s arms in the half surfboard but Malenko endures. Dragon brings Malenko up into a cobra twist. Fans rally with “USA! USA!” but Dragon brings him around to the abdominal stretch. Malenko endures so Dragon drops him down. Dragon kicks Malenko in the back and stomps him around. Dragon drags Malenko up to whip and catches Malenko into a sleeper! Malenko gets out to hit another back suplex! Both men are down again and another standing count begins.

Malenko sits up at 4 but has to shake out the cobwebs. Malenko stands at 6 and fans fire up. He drags Dragon up for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Dragon still lives but Malenko drags him around to a spinning toehold! Malenko is truly the man of a thousand holds as he uses this kneebar and ankle lock combo! Dragon endures his leg be twisted, and he reaches for ropes. Onoo coaches Dragon but the ref tells Onoo to stay back. Dragon claws his way over to the ropebreak! Malenko lets go, just to drag Dragon away and put the hold back on! Malenko cranks hard on the kneebar and heel hook but Dragon refuses to quit. Dragon reaches for ropes, and claws his way over. Malenko cranks harder, but Dragon still gets the ropebreak! Malenko lets go, looms over Dragon, and brings him back up, for a SHIN BREAKER! Then he dropkicks the knee from the side!

Fans fire up as Malenko drags Dragon again. Malenko lifts, spins and drops Dragon back into the heel hook! Dragon endures all over again, but uses his free leg to kick away at Malenko’s arm. Dragon crawls again, reaches again, but Malenko cranks on the hold again. But Dragon still gets another ropebreak! Fans rally with “USA! USA!” harder as Malenko brings Dragon up. Malenko bumps Dragon off the buckles then throws forearms. He whips but Dragon reverses and handsprings in, but Malenko dodges! Dragon hits buckles and Malenko whips him back the other way. Malenko runs in but into a boot! Dragon runs, into the spinning powerslam! But Malenko can’t make the cover and Dragon recovers. Dragon runs into a waistlock but elbows free, to run and hit the windmill kick! Dragon drags Malenko up, POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Malenko survives but Dragon is too tired to be shocked.

Dragon and Malenko stand up again, and Dragon gut wrenches! But Malenko flails and reverses it, JUMPING TOMBSTONE!! Cover, TWO!?!? Dragon still lives?! Malenko won’t let that slow him down, he grabs the legs and laces them up. Dragon flails and gets the ropebreak fast! Malenko drags Dragon up, whips him, kicks him, and underhooks for the TIGER BOMB! Jackknife cover, TWO!?! Dragon survives again and the fans can’t believe it! The standing count begins but Malenko is up at 6. Malenko runs and crossbodies into Dragon! Dragon stays in as Malenko tumbles out, but Dragon does flop out right after. Malenko drags Dragon back up and puts him back in. Malenko throws hands but Dragon heel kicks back! Dragon ASAI MOONSAULTS! Direct hit at the ramp and both men are down again! A ring count begins and climbs as fans rally.

Malenko and Dragon get up at 5 but Dragon puts Malenko in. Dragon climbs up but Malenko stomps him. Malenko climbs up behind Dragon but Dragon elbows him away. Dragon MOONSAULTS, but FLOPS!! Malenko has the legs, laces them up, TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! But Onoo gets on the apron and Malenko runs him off. Dragon cradles Malenko, TWO! Malenko clotheslines Dragon down then drags him back up. Malenko suplexes, for the BRAIN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Dragon survives again and Malenko is losing his cool! Malenko drags Dragon back up and wants another. Dragon slips out of the suplex but Malenko elbows him away. Malenko runs but Dragon catches him in a full nelson. Malenko standing switches, Dragon drops to victory roll but Malenko dead lifts him! Dragon escapes the wheelbarrow, double chicken wings, TIGER SUPLEX! Bridging cover, Dragon wins!!!

Winner: Ultimo Dragon, by pinfall (UNIFIED Cruiserweight Champion)

Fans aren’t happy, but Dragon and Sonny Onoo are fired up! Ultimo Dragon is the ultimate Junior Heavyweight of the world! Will there ever be a Cruiserweight wrestler quite as great as these two men?

 

205 Live returns to Oney doing squats with his corgi.

Ultimo Dragon VS Malenko was a clinic. But his next match is a fight. He and Danny Burch, the One Two, take on “a couple of scumbags” in THE Brian Kendrick & Ariya Daivari. No Disqualifications is how he and Burch like it. ANd Oney can say that this fight is not only his favorite match in 205 Live, but his favorite in WWE period. Enjoy the brutality as Oney continues his corgi squats.

2/21/20 – No Disqualifications Tag Match: Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch VS Ariya Daivari & THE Brian Kendrick!

The One Two has come to 205 and the OG’s don’t like it! But everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Will the Persian Lion and “The Best Damn Thing to Happen to Cruiserweight Wrestling” be able to hit first? Or will they get hit hardest?

But before even making their entrances, Lorcan and Burch are right after Daivari and Kendrick! Burch throws Kendrick into barriers while Lorcan brawls with Daivari up the ramp. Daivari clubs Lorcan and throws him into the set pieces! Lorcans taggers about and Daivari is on him, throwing him OFF the stage! Daivari heads back towards ringside where Burch is all over Kendrick. Burch EuroUppers Kendrick but Daivari CLOBBERS Burch from behind! Kendrick hobbles up to whip Burch, but Burch reverses, sending Kendrick into steel steps! Lorcan is back to CHOP Daivari! Burch bumps Kendrick off the apron while Lorcan CHOPS Daivari again! Fans fire up as Burch CHOPS Kendrick! Daivari throws Lorcan into barriers while Burch throws more EuroUppers.

Daivari puts Lorcan in the ring while Burch stomps Kendrick down, and the ref finally rings the bell to officially start the match! Cover, ONE, but Daivari is right on Lorcan. Burch throws Kendrick over the barriers and stalks him into the WWE Universe while Lorcan throws Daivari out. Burch throws more EuroUppers on Kendrick while Lorcan pursues Daivari. Daivari throws Lorcan into barriers! Kendrick clubs Burch down and headlocks, but Lorcan hip tosses Daivari over barriers ONTO Kendrick! The 205 Live OG crash down together and Lorcan fires up! Fans fire up with him and Burch! Burch calls Lorcan over, and they dump Kendrick back to ringside. Lorcan and Burch bring Kendrick up to put in the ring. Burch covers, TWO!

Lorcan and Burch bring Kendrick up, but Daivari returns, with a chair! Daivari gives Burch a chair shot to the ribs, then does the same to Lorcan! Daivari sits the chair by the ropes and brings Burch over. He punches Burch and pie faces him. Daivari stomps Burch but fans boo. Daivari makes Burch take a seat and punches away. Fans boo as Daivari runs, but Burch drop toeholds Daivari onto the chair! Daivari flounders up and Burch runs in for the ocrner clothesline and enziguri! Burch snapmares then hops up to leap, missile dropkick! Burch kips up but flounders as he’s a little off balance. But Burch gets right up again to throw up the deuce and shrug it off. Lorcan joins Burch, and Burch shouts, “ONEY! GET THE TABLES!!” The Dudley Boys must be loving this as much as the fans are!

Lorcan and Burch drag the table out and Arizona heats up! The table is brought around the way and then set up by the ring. Lorcan and Burch have Daivari in the ring and bring him over. Fans fire up, Burch and Lorcan have Daivari on the apron, but Kendrick knocks Burch down! Kendrick bumps Lorcan into the post, then fireman’s carries! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE!! Fans love it as all four men are down on the outside! Daivari goes after Burch with stomps then throws him over the announce desk! Daivari looks under the ring, and fans fire up as he brings out a LADDER!

The ladder is put in the ring and Daivari drags Burch back up. Daivari bumps Burch off the steel steps then puts him in the ring. Daivari sets the ladder on the top and stomps Burch down. Burch flounders and Daivari has him in a corner. Daivari whips corner to corner but Burch reverses, and SMASHES Daivari’s face into the ladder!! Daivari is down but Burch staggers back up. Burch eyes the ladder and takes it for his own. Burch sets it up and fans fire up with him! He puts the ladder in the corner like that, and calls for a flip?! Burch climbs up but Kendrick returns! Kendrick hobbles over, climbs up to smash Burch’s head on rungs, then hit an elevated Russian Leg Sweep! Another double edged move sends Kendrick and Burch both reeling out of the ring.

Daivari takes the ladder and moves it to the opposite end. Kendrick puts Burch back in and Daivari stomps Burch down. Daivari climbs up the ladder, higher and higher, and the fans react louder and louder. He’s at the very top, for a SUPER LION SPLASH! Cover, but Lorcan breaks it in time! All four men are down again but Kendrick stands on the apron. Burch falls out and Daivari is on the other end. Fans know “This is Awesome!” as Kendrick haymakers Lorcan. Kendrick dares Lorcan to get up and Lorcan does get up. Kendrick ROCKS Lorcan but Lorcan just powers up! Lorcan stands, Kendrick fires off more haymakers, but Lorcan roars! Lorcan glares at Kendrick, and CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Lorcan runs, to EUROUPPER! Kendrick flies out of the ring as the Fury of 205 reaches a fever pitch!

Daivari stalks up behind Lorcan as fans rally, and gives him a chair shot! Burch returns but gets a chair shot, too! Daivari stomps Lorcan down and then sits the chair up. Kendrick and Daivari bring Burch up together. Burch blocks the double suplex, and fights back! Burch punches Daivari out and then punches Kendrick into taking a seat. Lorcan gives Kendrick a BLOCKBUSTER right out of the chair!! Kendrick rolls out while Lorcan fires up again. Fans rally with Burch and Lorcan as Lorcan runs to FLY! Direct hit topples Daivari and Kendrick! Lorcan and Burch bring out DUCT TAPE!? They bring Kendrick to a corner and tape the legs to the bottom crossbar! Kendrick’s left leg is trapped!

Burch ROCKS Kendrick with a right, then helps Lorcan clear off the announce desk! Daivari is set on the desk and the One Two climbs up to join him. Kendrick can only watch as they give Daivari LONDON TOWER to the desk!! Lorcan throws Daivari in and Kendrick grabs at him, but Burch stomps Kendrick down. Lorcan drags Daivari back up, he and Burch combine for another LONDON TOWER!! Cover, Lorcan & Burch win!

Winners: Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch, by pinfall

The Man with a Plan dared the Cruiserweights of the WWE to #DoSomething, but he didn’t account for the BritAm Brawlers being even more brutal than him! Will Lorcan and Burch carry this momentum all throughout the Cruiserweight and Tag Team Divisions?

 

205 Live returns to Tom Philips and Jeremy Borash.

A great match from Oney and Burch, and Borash feels those two are destined to be tag team champions somewhere in the WWE. Philips agrees, and asks Borash’s thoughts on Oney’s exercises. Well, as far as people squatting corgis, that was the most impressive. The throwing of logs was also a great idea. Oney is a phenomenal athlete. Philips asks Borash who he sees winning the Interim Cruiserweight Championship tournament? Too tough to call. Fantasma comes in with a lot of hype and great expectations, but Drake Maverick is pouring out his heart and soul. Borash thinks Maverick has what it takes to surprise us all. Well, as journalists, they’re supposed to be unbiased. Borash says he’s not biased, he’s bringing credibility. Well in that case, Borash can put his tilt onto it, because 205 Live is his show now. Philips is DONE. He already does all the other brands, he can let Borash have this one. About time. Borash hopes we tune in again next week, and goes to calm Philips down.


My Thoughts:

A great episode with great choices from Oney! For one, he is featured in another WWE match after Ariya Daivari chose the Anything Goes a couple weeks ago. The No Disqualification tag match was great stuff and I totally forgot that was only a few months ago. I’m not sure Borash’s prediction will come true on the One Two finally getting tag titles, because they’ve always been so close yet can’t get over the hump. Also how great that Jeremy Borash is going to be WWE 205 Live commentary! I didn’t think a TNA Impact personality would get much of anything, but he really is talented. Oney himself was great, I like his improvised workouts. Especially the corgi curls and squats.

Then getting the WCW Cruiserweight title unification match was a great bit of history. I never even knew about the J-Crown or a good number of those titles Ultimo Dragon held. The match was great, and there was a lot of patriotic heat, but Dragon was riding high as a great champion across many countries and companies. The WWF had a belt in that mix, but don’t expect the WWE to do anything like that again while Vince is in charge.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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