Opinion

Mishal: What is Lana?

Mishal explores WWE superstar Lana, how she is booked by the company and perceived by the fans. In short…what even is Lana?

Published

3 years ago

December 12, 2020

Mishal Shuhaiber

Mishal explores WWE superstar Lana, how she is booked by the company and perceived by the fans. In short…what even is Lana?

For the last month or so, I’ve lacked the focus I normally have on professional wrestling.

Admittedly my own fault, sometimes setting into new phases in life, drastic changes or a new chapter takes time away from someone who loves this industry like I do. As a result, my attention on the world of professional wrestling hasn’t been what it usually is, that doesn’t however, mean I’ve not being paying attention. It’s hard to be a hardcore fan of the business & simply switch off you interest on cue, so thankfully the internet partnered with some massive developments has kept me in the loop.

A lot has been happening lately, across the industry as a whole, in fact. Big debuts, a plethora of fantastic matches I could dissect, numerous storyline changes & an idea of what the landscape will look like come 2021. But there has been one thing, one storyline, one character that has caught my eye, for all the wrong reasons.

That singular entity, has been the former manager of ”The Bulgarian Brute” Rusev, ‘wife’ of ”The Almighty” Bobby Lashley, star of E Network’s Total Divas & the WWE’s current top babyface (for some reason) in none other, than Lana.

Lana has been a puzzle I simply cannot solve. She’s a character written like no other I can remember after close to 20 years of watching professional wrestling, which isn’t an exaggeration. At a time where odd is the norm in entertainment in general, Lana stands out as an almost abnormal figure compared to those around her.

Before going on, I’ll acknowledge that 2020 as a whole has been packed to the brim with blunders, from every side of the aisle. While a lot of criticism is levied at WWE all too frequently, maybe even from myself due to the kind of product it currently presents, we should never forget how its competition is certainly not innocent of failing to live up to the potential it had at points. Whether it be AEW’s sometimes overstuffed product which tends to juggle far beyond its capabilities, Impact Wrestling’s ”Wrestle House” or some of their current creative direction, NJPW’s fairly inconsistent year in regards to its booking decisions & even WWE’s other abomination of a storyline involving RETRIBUTION, something about Lana’s direction stands out as particularly mishandled.

And upon reflection I think I’ve figured out why Lana as a character is arguably the biggest blunder wrestling in 2020 has offered.

With a division as jam packed with talent as the current WWE women’s roster, it’s hard to even find a specific talent that is truly superior to the rest. Both the main roster & NXT have a plethora of talent so surreal that it blows my mind when the competition surrounding WWE is still struggling to muster something that comes even close. Names like Sasha Banks, Asuka, Bayley, Bianca Belair, Shayna Baszler, Io Shirai, Rhea Ripley, Natalya, Candice LeRae, Dakota Kai, Ember Moon & Toni Storm aren’t just talented, they cement WWE as the ruling king of women’s wrestling at this current moment. In all that, lies the problem, the expectations that need to be met to compete with the level of talent on offer.

Not to take away from the abilities or hard work that someone like Lana has put in to get to where she is, but to suggest her talents or character are anywhere near the level of the aforementioned women is a tough sell for anyone who has an eye on the product. Lana, to me, feels very much a creation of a product from a decade ago, a talent that certainly carries the image to be appealing on-screen, just lacks what makes the current crop of talent so unique. The product & landscape of the business for women has shifted drastically over the last decade, and sadly it feels like Lana is somewhat of an oddball.

Understandably they’ve written the character to be just that, an oddball. The issue here lies with what kind of oddball character we’re dealing with…

Is this supposed to be the kind of oddball with a distinct personality & move set that makes her a threat to the division around her?
Is this supposed to be the kind of oddball that is your resident underdog that struggles in the face of adversity or a challenge larger than herself?

The answer is none of the above, in fact not even a blueprint for the type of babyface or oddball character used over the last number of years in professional wrestling. Lana is portrayed as a weak, unskilled worker who’s scared of two much larger ladies currently in Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, your resident nerd vs high school bully scenario. Where this all falls apart for me, is that Lana just never grows as a performer, whether that be in the ring or as a character.
Lana in short, is portrayed as a child. One that constantly moans, cries and then pulls off ‘‘upset’’ victories after all the hard work has been accomplished for her, much like some of wrestling’s greatest all-time heels (i.e., Randy Orton, Edge, Chris Jericho, Brock Lesnar, etc.). Nothing about Lana is the kind of character that garners support due to her fighting a much larger opponents or tackling gigantic hurdles despite a disadvantage, she’s to put it harshly, a goof who only succeeds because nobody takes her seriously. Never on her own ability, never because of her mindset, never because of a unique character trait, never because she faces a challenge head-on, but because she poses no threat to anyone on the roster.

This kind of writing wouldn’t be the worst thing if it was done in the context of a basic heel, and even then, it delivers a character with few desirable traits for an audience to invest in, placing this model onto a babyface though, has been a disaster. There’s nothing about the Lana character that is in the slightest bit empathetic now that we’ve seen the direction this story is headed. She’s a weak & whiny character that doesn’t possess the prowess that others do, as a result even dragging down those she associates with.

Her reaction to every setback is similar, just cry. It’s always the same, under every circumstance. Her team not taking her seriously at Survivor Series, her being placed through a table 16,211 times by Nia Jax, her not being able to wrestle, her failing her tag team partner in Natalya or even her own ‘husband’ divorcing her, Lana just bawls like an 8-year-old who didn’t get what they wanted for Christmas.

Clearly the handling of the character is a complete misstep from the creative heads of the company, producing a babyface who isn’t even a babyface, she feels more like a nuisance every week she’s on TV.

Understandably molding every character after a certain formula isn’t always desirable, as sometimes drifting away from that formula gives off incredible results, yet with Lana we see no element of a normal ‘‘good guy’’ on display. Her character lacks that ‘‘babyface fire’’, a likeable personality, in-ring ability or even the willingness to do anything that makes her peers such standouts in a crowded division. The only distinct ability Lana as a character holds is to re-affirm the simple message; ‘‘No matter how useless you may be someone else will always do the leg work for you’’.
As a babyface of any kind, this just isn’t the vibe a character should give off. Simply put.

A babyface, a star who is in anyway worthy of support from an audience needs to have a quality that is either admirable or relatable to those you’re trying to bring onboard. Sadly, Lana possesses basically no quality that makes her likeable to any fan of the WWE product. How this storyline is translating to anyone is baffling to me, because it feels like your resident ‘nerd vs bully’ storyline just without any real incentive to root for either side of the spectrum. If anything, I find myself rooting more for the bully, the very opposite of what a story like this should accomplish.
I understand that all of this comes across fairly harsh, as it’s somewhat intended to.

But all of this brings me back to the title of this article: What is Lana?

That question, I’m still waiting on an answer from.

It’s entirely unclear what Lana is as of this writing, to myself at least. We’re constantly beaten over the head with the fact that Lana is this gigantic ‘‘underdog’’ who is being pushed around by two women larger than her, but what reason do we have to back Lana up beyond the size comparison?

With WWE currently writing many of the wrongs that started off their year with some genuinely fantastic storytelling (e.g., Virtually everything involving Roman Reigns, Drew McIntyre becoming a top guy, Sasha Banks and Carmella’s feud, etc.) this is a story that sticks out in the worst way possible. Acting as a complete betrayal of the kind of stories that have the genuine potential to establish new stars at a time when we need as many as we can get. And that’s what I find the most insulting, the sheer obliviousness to how terrible this story has been to this point.

As we draw closer to the return of live audiences it’s a mystery to know just how they’ll react once a story like this unfolds outside the setting of staged crowd noises or screens with faces on them. For the sake of RAW’s ladies, I hope the pain of this storyline takes a turn sooner rather than later because it desperately needs it.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

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Coverage

Greg DeMarco’s 2023 WWE SummerSlam Review

The biggest party of the summer comes to Detroit, when WWE SummerSlam 2023 delivers an action packed event that easily exceeds expectations.

Published

1 month ago

August 7, 2023

Greg DeMarco

The biggest party of the summer comes to Detroit, when WWE SummerSlam 2023 delivers an action packed event that easily exceeds expectations.

WWE presents SummerSlam 2023 live from ford field in Detroit in front of over 59k fans–who provided an electric atmosphere. Overall the card featured either matches, many of them delivering at or above expectations.

Read on for my thoughts, and even some ratings!

How I am rating segments:

I am using “The Line of DeMarco-cation,” which is for entertainment. the line is if I was entertained. You can have three main results:

ABOVE the Line of DeMarco-cation
AT the Line of DeMarco-cation
BELOW the Line of DeMarco-cation

If necessary, i reserve the right to go WAY ABOVE or WAY BELOW. Significant segments can be rated. individual and overall ratings are totally subjective.

It’s simple: ENTERTAIN ME!

Logan Paul vs. Ricochet

Welcome to the biggest match of Ricochet’s career.
Samantha Irvin’s outfit matches Logan Paul, not Ricochet — SWERVE, BRO!
Ricochet is a star, and I love seeing him treated like one.
Rocket Mortgage is donating $5k for every move off the top rope? This match alone might accumulate half a million.
I know Logan Paul needs to catch a private jet to Dallas and that’s why this is on first, but this is the perfect opener.
If you didn’t know who Logan Paul was, you’d think he was just another member of the roster–and that’s the biggest compliment you can give to him. He’s a damn good heel, too.
Paul using Braun Strowman’s powerslam–will we get Logan vs Braun?
LOGAN MUST POSE!
SPANISH FLY STICK THE LANDING.
This might be the best match either have had in a LONG time.
Logan Paul just hit a Buckshot Lariat over the top rope and to the floor. Sorry Hangman.
I love that refs continue to have names – like former Greg DeMarco Show guest Eddie Orengo (as El Bandido Jr).
I’d love to know Ricochet’s powerlifting numbers. Dude is deceptively strong.
Logan Paul flew two-thirds of the way across the ring on the Springboard Froggy Splash
This match is spotty–yes–but watch and learn Young Bucks. They are strung together by psychology and it all makes sense,
LOVE that finish. Logan Paul wins (as expected), but Ricochet is protected.
Think about that – RICOCHET IS PROTECTED.
Hell of a match.

Winner: Logan Paul (pinfall brass knucks shot)

WAY ABOVE The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

Brock Lesnar vs. Cody Rhodes

That video package–amazing. It likely telegraphed Cody’s win, but I don’t think many expect Cody to lose.
I love when people question Brock’s presence. Did you hear that pop?
Cody got a hell of a pop, too.
You can tell how much Brock Lesnar respects Cody Rhodes, as he opens up the arsenal for him.
I love that Brock simply stands center ring as the ref counts Cody out. Brock wants to win–doesn’t care how. That’s a little detail that shows how brilliant of a character Brock Lesnar is.
This is the fifth time Brock has gone for the count-out–and I love the psychology.
Now Brock does care how he wins–he wants to break Cody’s will.
Wait, is this Cody Rhodes’ mystery twin brother Cory Rhodes?
That top rope Cody Cutter was fantastic.
Not sure when Brock’s shorts got ripped, but it adds to this fight.
That’s what this is, a fight. And that is Brock Lesnar at his finest.
It might have been a happy accident, but Cody’s hand bouncing off the bottom rope before he finally grabs it to break the Kimura is another amazing little thing.
Brock is so slow and methodical, but snatches people up for the F5 in a flash. So good.
Cody Rhodes wins, after THREE Cross Rhodes. Good shit.
Interesting that the show of respect from Brock to Cody is considered Cody’s arrival.
Or maybe it’s just the arrival of “The American Nightmare.”
I will be very interested–as will all of you–to see what’s next for both men.

Winner: Cody Rhodes (pinfall, three Cross Rhodes)

WAY ABOVE The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

NOTE: Very interesting that Roman Reigns was featured in the PayBack promo, as well as Logan Paul. I wouldn’t expect either to be on that card.

Slim Jim SummerSlam Battle Royal

I have to admit, it just feels right to have Slim Jim back in my wrestling.
This better be good since it cost us Becky Lynch vs. Trish Stratus.
I hope Sheamus got a full entrance for the crowd.
Oh look, Omos still works here!
Chad Gable is so damn good.
Austin Theory is in this match? And didn’t get an entrance?
At WrestleMania 30, Big E was in the Andre The Royal Giant Memorial Battle Rumble, didn’t get an entrance, and didn’t even get to carry his Intercontinental Champion. And I don’t even think his elimination was mentioned by commentary (I’d have to go back and check).
Santos Escobar eliminating Austin Theory at least makes sense.
LA Knight barely breathes and the crowd gets ELECTRIC.
I haven’t made as many bullet points because this has actually been a really good battle royal!
I’d love to know who the agent was–fantastically done.

Winner: LA Knight (last eliminates Sheamus)

AT The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

MMA Rules Match – Ronda Rousey vs. Shayna Baszler

Some of the shots during the entrance make me want WWE to get rid of stages altogether, and stick with this type of entrance.
Also, it’s a reminder that I hate major wrestling events in daylight.
This being an MMA Rules Match seems to be a missed opportunity at having a special guest referee.
The fans DO NOT CARE About this match, and I see why.
I am all for Ronda being able to go out how she wants to go out, and the talent pushing their own idea forward. But sometimes, you gotta say no.
Some matches also play much better in an arena instead of a stadium (Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte Flair from WrestleMania comes to mind). This is one of those matches.
Whenever NXT had an “unsanctioned match,” the ref wore all black. That’s what we should have done here.
Now we have doctors checking on Shayna? Really? I know we want to put over how tough she is, but…..
The crowd pops out of relief when it’s over.
Do this on Raw, not here. Give Becky and Trish this spot.

Winner: Shayna Baszler (technical submission, Kirifuda Clutch)

BELOW The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

Intercontinental Championship: Drew McIntyre vs. GUNTHER (c)

My Peacock membership doesn’t let me see the video package here, and I am fine with that–it’s been a while since I’ve seen that AFLAC Duck, though.
Ludwig Kaiser must love doing the entrance, but honestly the act might be getting stale?
Corey Graves very poetic in pointing out that “records are meant to be broken.” That’s one of the core values of WWE at this point.
It does appear GUNTHER will be going it alone tonight as Kaiser and Giovanni Vinci are headed to the back. Let’s see if they stay there.
Interesting placement for this match, right after the ill-received MMA Rules Match.
Didn’t the internet tell us Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor was going on fourth?
Btw, this match is brought to you by Rocket Mortgage. Money talks, BAYBAY!
GUNTHER truly lives the “Ring General” gimmick.
As the match progresses, I honestly can’t see Drew winning here.
The simplicity of the finishing sequence really adds to GUNTHER: top rope slap fest, McIntyre crotched on the ropes, splash, lariat, powerbomb. Nothing fancy–trademark GUNTHER.

Winner, #ANDSTILL the Intercontinental Champion: GUNTHER (pinfall, powerbomb)

ABOVE The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

World Heavyweight Championship: Finn Balor vs. Seth “Freakin'” Rollins (c)

I presume we will get a bunch of Judgment Day shenanigans here, but I really needed Seth to go on last to further establish his championship. Instead, we are smack in the middle of the event (according to the Peacock slider, anyways)
Seth Rollins’ entrance + 58k people = a beautiful sight
The worst thing about this, to me, will be when Balor and Rollins are partners after Balor turns babyface.
Love Rollins tossing the vest at Balor.
Love the more unique start to the match.
Interesting that Rollins, with a win, moves to 5th all time for SummerSlam wins? I had no clue! Mr. SummerSlam anyone?
We keep naming refs, and I love it,
If you want an “inside look” at a match, start paying really close attention for a few minutes starting with the triplicate of dives from Seth Rollins. You’ll see a few things that the cameras picked up.
LOVE LOVE LOVE the Buckle Bomb into the barrier from Balor to Rollins. Should have known they’d do that, but it never crossed my mind. Brilliant.
Decent amount of overlap in the offense of this match and the one prior–in hindsight, they may have wanted to put GUNTHER/McIntyre on before Rousey/Baszler.
Fans boo’d the crap out of Damian Priest when he came down–but popped like hell for Dominik Mysterio and Rhea Ripley.
I really enjoyed the story told with the Judgment Day. When Priest called for the briefcase to be used, it would have worked. When Balor called for it, it wasn’t going to work, and Damian Priest knew it. But he let Finn Balor sink himself anyway. That will definitely play again later when they fully implode.

Winner AND STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Seth Freakin’ Rollins (pinfall, Stomp on the Money In The Bank Briefcase)

WAY ABOVE The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

WWE Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka (c) Bianca Belair

Very odd having Asuka enter second.
Charlotte Flair with the ode to Becky Lynch at WrestleMania 35 (IYKYK)
Did I miss the C4 ad read? I saw that Bianca Belair entered with some, which made me thing THAT was why she came in last, and now the C4 branding is around the ring, but no real mention? Or did I miss it? Was it only for Peacock Premium subscribers?
Very choppy match so far–and Charlotte has to basically stop the match to have Jessika Carr fix her outfit, leaving Belair and Asuka in the corner waiting until Asuka realized what was happening and tried to cover. The Double Natural Selection that followed was quite clunky.
Bianca nowhere near Charlotte Flair when the moonsault hit–is Bianca really that good? I seem to ask myself this during every big time Bianca match, dating back to WrestleMania 37 when I felt like Sasha Banks had to carry her.
I find myself wanting to fast forward to the finish, here. I’m not, but I kinda want to.
ANOTHER REF NAMED! Thank you, Michael Cole.
If IYO SKY cashes in here (which is easy to expect), I really hope it’s not right after Charlotte wins, getting her to #15. Granted, she could cash in DURING the match and make it a 4-way. But of everyone, I think Charlotte needs to eat the pin tonight.
We have now had medical personnel tending to one of the participants in the middle of each women’s match tonight–first Shayna Baszler, now Bianca Belair. Seems like a misstep on someone’s part.
Bianca with the heroic comeback, and a beautiful 450 Splash on Charlotte during the Figure Eight.
Charlotte gets misted but Bianca gets the pin???
Makes sense if we do the cash in here. as Bianca is hurt.

Winner, AND NEW WWE Women’s Champion: Bianca Belair (pinfall, small package)

Aaaaaaaand here comes IYO SKY.
I love Corey Graves telling Bianca to get the hell out of dodge.
IYO and Bayley take out everyone, and she is indeed cashing in.
Over The Moonsault, new champion, and the crowd goes nuts. Women’s Money In The Bank briefcase is still undefeated.
Nice World Of Stardom reference by Michael Cole, too.

Winner, AND NEW WWE Women’s Champion: IYO SKY (CMITB cash-in, pinfall, Over The Moonsault)

AT The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

There were some rough spots, but the cash in saved it for me.

Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Match: Jey Uso vs. Roman Reigns (c) with Paul Heyman

I am timing this from the second Jey Uso’s theme hits through the end.
Man, Mike Rome is on one, and I am not sure if that’s a good thing. He doesn’t sound as fantastic as he usually does.
12:34 from Jey’s music hitting to the bell ringing.
Roman is so slow and methodical, I don’t know if he realized Jey was going to dive so soon. Jey connected with Roman’s back, but that could have been really really bad.
I know this is Tribal Combat, but given the use of stairs earlier tonight, we might as well consider the stairs legal.
You know it’s an important match when Roman Reigns hits The Drive By, as he did on Jey Uso.
Table, Kendo Stick, and more early.
Jey clotheslining Roman over the top rope (with the Kendo Stick) and hitting the dive makes me think Jey got slightly lost earlier when he did the dive to a kneeling Roman’s back.
That was a MASSIVE powerbomb onto the chairs!
35 minutes in (remember, since the start of Jey’s entrance, so 23 minutes into the match) and this is definitely just a touch slow. The story is amazing, so that’s my only complaint so far.
I have to wonder if Roman knew he was bleeding when he hopped the barricade to go into the crowd.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand here’s Solo Sikoa. That should surprise no one. We gotta get the whole family involved, right? At least the whole Bloodline.
Solo declining to help Roman up might be starting Solo’s arc in the story, but it wasn’t apparent enough and commentary had to fill in the blanks.
50:22 since Jey’s entrance is the point where Jimmy shows up (pulling Jey out of the ring).
Jimmy hits the Superkick and leaves.
Spear through the table that was set-up about a week ago and Roman Reigns pins Jey Uso at 52:09 (from th estart of Jey’s entrance).

Winner AND STILL Undisputed WWE Universal Champion: Roman Reigns (pinfall, spear through the table)

AT The Line Of DeMarco-cation.

“At” might surprise you, but this was WAY too slow. Bell-to-bell it was roughly 40 minutes, and that was about 10 minutes too long. But the story is worth it in the end.

WWE SummerSlam 2023

Total Matches: 8

ABOVE the Line of DeMarco-cation – 4 matches (3 WAY ABOVE)
AT the Line of DeMarco-cation – 3 matches
BELOW the Line of DeMarco-cation – 1 match

One “bad” match and seven “good ones, four of those I’d call “great.” Three of the great ones I labeled as “WAY ABOVE” the line, which easily makes up for one match that was lacking. Hell, when even the Battle Royal is good, you know you watched a damn good show.

Overall Rating for WWE SummerSlam 2023: 9/10

Let me know your thoughts! Drop a comment and tell me your ratings, and what you think of the Line Of DeMarco-cation.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Opinion

King’s WrestleMania Rewind: Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka from WrestleMania 34

Chris king is back with one of the most underrated matches in WrestleMania history–Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka!

Published

6 months ago

April 2, 2023

Chris King

WWE WrestleMania 34 Charlotte Flair Asuka

Chris king is back with one of the most underrated matches in WrestleMania history–Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka!

We look back at Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka at WWE WrestleMania 34. ‘The Empress of Tomorrow’ put her unprecedented and historic undefeated streak of 914 days on the line against ‘The Queen’s’ SmackDown Women’s Championship.

For years, this was considered a dream match while Asuka dominated the roster in NXT, while Flair won numerous championships on the main roster on both Raw and SmackDown. The Empress made her long-awaited debut on the September 11th episode of Raw and began to tear through the competition.

Asuka outlasted all twenty-nine other women in the historic first-ever Women’s Royal Rumble match to challenge for the title of her choosing. At Fastlane, she made her choice.

The WWE Universe was so excited for this match myself included. Both superstars delivered a fantastic performance on the Grandest Stage of Them All executing counter after counter. Asuka showed off some nasty-looking kicks to her opponent, and Flair hit a thunderous Spanish Fly off the top rope. Flair was seconds away from defeat at the hands of The Empress but she locked in Figure Eight and Asuka was forced to tap out.

I can’t even begin to explain how shocked I was at this outcome, as nearly everyone expected The Empress to continue her undefeated streak and walk away with the women’s title. This controversial decision was the downfall of Asuka’s momentum. She would ultimately win the SmackDown Women’s Championship at the 2018 TLC pay-per-view in the triple-threat ladder match.

Fast forward to this year when Asuka has recently returned with her Japanese-inspired persona Kana. Kana is dangerous and ruthless and is heading into a championship with Bianca Belair at WrestleMania 39. The Empress has regained all her momentum and is highly favored to walk away with the Raw Women’s Championship. Let’s hope that Asuka and Belair can tear the house down and deliver an A+ grade match both women are fully capable of.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!