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Mitchell’s WWE Fastlane Results & Report! (3/21/21)

Full speed ahead!

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Mitchell's WWE Fastlane 2021

Fastlane puts pedal to the metal on the Road to WrestleMania!

We’re in the homestretch and picking up speed! Who does Fastlane leave in the dust just weeks away from WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Show – WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Mustafa Ali w/ Retribution; Riddle wins and retains the title.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler w/ Reginald VS Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair; Jax & Baszler win and retain the titles.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Big E VS Apollo Crews; Big E wins and retains the title.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Free Sample: R-Truth VS Akira Tozawa VS Joseph Average; Average wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Free Sample Take Two: Joseph Average VS Akira Tozawa VS R-Truth; Truth wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Shane McMahon Elias w/ Jaxson Ryker VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura VS Seth Rollins; Rollins wins.
  • No Holds Barred: Drew McIntyre VS Sheamus; McIntyre wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Alexa Bliss; Bliss wins.
  • WWE Universal Championship, Edge as Special Guest Enforcer: Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Daniel Bryan; Reigns wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Fastlane Kickoff show!

Join Kayla Braxton, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler and Peter Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all the action here tonight on the last stop before WrestleMania!

 

Sonya Deville joins the panel!

The SmackDown official and sharp dresser is here to talk the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Big E is a friend, an incredible competitor, has everything it takes to be the best, but this new Apollo Crews is scary! Large and in charge, showing a side no one knew was there. Sonya is torn, but will let the others predict first. Kayla asks more what triggered Apollo to show this side of himself. The defeat? The disrespect? Booker T says this is the REAL Apollo. Trying to conform and be what others what you to be, Apollo is now someone who represents something, and this transformed him. THIS Apollo is going to move up the ladder, and Big E is just in the way.

Rosenberg says we’re so focused on Apollo, there’s also a new Big E. Sonya says this side was always there for Big E, always wanting to break away and stand on his own, and hasn’t been able to do so until now. He has a different attitude, too. The championship is not playing games and is defending his livelihood. Great for Apollo to dig into his heritage, Big E is fighting for his family. Sonya was there when Big E was taken away on a stretcher. TO come back from that means his determination is stronger than ever. Then final vote? Sonya is for Big E, because of his heart and spirit. Rosenberg goes with Big E. As dangerous as Apollo is, Big E is it.

King says Apollo was using stuff on Big E, like the steps. But Apollo is a weapon himself so he votes Apollo. Booker says from here to WrestleMania, it will be a celebration. Apollo wins. Well they’re tied because Kayla won’t choose a side. But the match itself will be a tiebreaker, so this is one to watch!

Moving on from that, they discuss Shane McMahon and Braun Strowman! Booker says Shane is a man who throws caution to the wind! Do not cross the boss! Made Braun into a living green screen! Rosenberg says that was a very Nickelodeon moment. But Shane’s been insulting Braun for weeks. Booker says this is Shane motivating Braun, and Braun took it the wrong way. Braun could learn a lot if he just went along. Rosenberg says Shane must be bored. Rich people do thrill-seeking, but Shane is doing the wrong thing! Why does Shane want problems with Braun? Sonya says that as a fighter, you see Braun’s size and strength, but Shane can throw hands.

King isn’t so sure, Shane was a little hurt out there. Kayla points out there was an incident where Shane may have injured himself training. We go to Sarah Schreiber for an update.

“Thanks, Kayla. Shane McMahon is currently being evaluated by WWE medical personnel due to his knee injury.” She can neither confirm or deny what will happen with Shane’s match later tonight. Booker says he had that same pained look Shane had tearing MCL and PCL, so it can’t be good. King says Shane has said a lot about Braun, like Braun is strong as an ox and almost as smart. Braun should be smart enough that, should the match happen, he’ll go after Shane’s leg. Even if Shane was 1000%, though Rosenberg respects Shane, he’d still pick Braun. So less than 100%, that’s even worse. Maybe Shane will rethink this. Sonya is also worried, but we’ll see what happens.

And speaking of respect, Rollins thinks Cesaro disrespected him and disrespected Cesaro back. But now he has to deal with Cesaro’s friend, Shinsuke Nakamura! The King of Strong Style is an Artist who painted a painful picture on SmackDown, and could do the same tonight!

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

Is Rollins surprised that Cesaro’s friend and former tag team partner, Nakamura, confronted him on SmackDown? New guy, what’s your name? Kevin. Welcome, Kevin! But let’s take a second before talking about Nakamura to admire “the drip.” Seth Drippin’ Rollins! Seth’s suit game is huge on social media. But no, nothing surprises Rollins anymore. He’s just disappointed in Nakamura. Nakamura is better than this! At least, Rollins thought he was. If anyone would understand respect, it’d be Nakamura.

Turns out, nope! Turns out, he’s just as bad as Cesaro Nakamura wants to be a tough guy and pick a fight on Cesaro’s behalf. That’s fine, because Rollins will teach Nakamura a lesson, and hopes Cesaro is at home, on his couch, icing his dumb, bald head, and learns something. Because if Cesaro gets in Rollins’ face again, he’ll be next. And welcome to the team, Kev. Rollins heads out, but will he the one learning something about respect?

 

WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Mustafa Ali w/ Retribution!

The Bro beat the Beacon, but to be fair, Ali did lose because of Mustafa Ali’s own team! Riddle is a fair fighting champion, so he’ll give Ali another shot. But will there be no excuses when Riddle shuts Ali down this time?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this rematch from Raw kicks things off!

Ali bails out but Riddle waits in the ring. Ali takes his time returning, and he gets back in at 5 of 10. They circle again, tie up and Riddle clinches to put Ali in a corner. Ali pulls hair to turn things around, but the ref counts. Riddle shoves Ali, Ali shoves back but Riddle tackles him! Riddle rams knees in, floats and rams more knees! Then Riddle gut wrench suplexes Ali for a BROTON! Cover, TWO! Ali crawls for ropes but Riddle stalks up behind him. Riddle kicks Ali, but Ali holds ropes to deny the exploder. Ali knees low, but Riddle sweeps the legs! Riddle leaps but Ali BOOTS the Broton away!

Ali wants to make sure Retribution is watching as he bumps Riddle off buckles. Ali goes out to trip Riddle and pull him into ropes to then ROCK him! Ali spins Riddle and Riddle SMACKS the post! Ali then baseball slide dropkicks Riddle to the floor! “This is why I will be the next United States Champion!” Ali puts Riddle in the ring, covers, TWO! Riddle is still in this and he fires body shots and forearms! Ali ducks and kitchen sink knees Riddle down! Cover, TWO! Ali wraps Riddle up in a body scissor and squeezes tight. Riddle endures, pries free but Ali clubs Riddle down. Ali throws hands, Riddle gut wrenches again! Ali slips out and shoves Riddle into buckles, then SHOTGUNS him down! Cover, TWO!

Ali grows frustrated but drags Riddle up to ROCK him! And CHOP him! Riddle CHOPS back but Ali kicks low! Ali whips corner to corner, Riddle reverses but Ali handsprings then slips out! Riddle hits buckles, Ali slingshots and somersaults to a BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives and Ali grows frustrated. Ali stalks Riddle, throws more clubbing forearms and then snapmares Riddle into the body scissors. Riddle endures, Ali chinbars, and fans rally on their screens. Riddle elbows Ali’s leg and gets free! Riddle storms over to Ali, suplexes, but Ali slips out to shove Riddle and then run, into a BROMISSION!! Ali rolls back, prawn hold, TWO!!

Riddle and Ali fires off furious fists! Riddle boots, spins Ali and PELES! Ali staggers to a corner, Riddle kips up and runs in to forearm smash! Riddle goes side to side to forearm again! And BROSPLODER! Riddle aims, PENALTY KICK! Riddle dead lift POWERBOMBS, and flips Ali for a FINAL FLASH!! Cover, TWO!?! Ali survives and Riddle can’t believe it! Riddle goes up top, for a FLOATING BRO onto knees!! Ali took some damage because of his bad leg, and both men are down. Ali glares as he gets to a corner. Riddle sits up, Ali goes up and leaps, into Riddle’s arms! Riddle suplexes, but Ali cradles! Riddle rolls through for a FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!!

KOJI KLUTCH!! Ali has Riddle trapped, squeezes tight, but Riddle endures and fights for ground. Riddle reaches out, moves around, Ali keeps trying, but Riddle dead lifts to SLAM Ali! Both men are down, Riddle gasping for air. Ali shouts, “See what I did there?!” Ali grins as he says it’s over. But he runs into a BOOT! Riddle goes up, but Ali trips him! Riddle lands on the ropes, but Ali swings, into a DRAPING SLEEPER! Riddle drags Ali up into the gut wrench, for a SUPER BRO DEREK!! Cover, Riddle wins!

Winner: Matt Riddle, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

Ali spoke too soon, because it wasn’t over for Riddle, it was over for Ali! Will Riddle continue to represent the Bronited States all the way to WrestleMania?

As for Retribution, they pick up Ali and he gets mad at them!? Ali says this is somehow his team’s fault when they didn’t even do anything! “Reckoning” shakes her head and Ali calls her out for it! She stops listening to him, and leaves! Ali says that’s fine, because he doesn’t need her! She needs him! Slapjack wants to leave? Ali says he’s nothing without Ali so get back in line! Slapjack refuses! Ali says this is T-Bar’s fault and Mace’s fault! But they’re bigger than him, so they don’t need to take orders from him! DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM!! Retribution doesn’t need Ali and they don’t want Ali! Will Ali be the one left alone in the dark from now on?

 

“These are the moments that are remembered forever.”

WrestleMania is the Grandest Stage of Them All, but there is still time to change the future. “What happens next can change the course of everything.” The Big Dog takes on an underdog with a Rated R Enforcer ringside. The #LegitEST want to have belts together before fighting over one. A 20 YEAR friendship is broken and it’ll be No Holds Barred! And a Viper has been haunted, but wants to exorcise those demons! Step on the gas, go for gold, and hit the final stop on the Road to WrestleMania!

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler w/ Reginald VS Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair!

The Irresistible Force & Queen of Spades beat the Boss and the EST already at Elimination Chamber, but things were a bit different then. In the last month, dysfunction has crept in between Sasha and Bianca, which will of course complicate things. But the same has started to happen with the champions, where Nia might be a little preoccupied with Reggie. Which team cracks first and misses out on the gold?

The introductions are made, the tag belts are raised, and Elimination Chamber is revisited!

Shayna and Sasha start, Sasha fires off with haymakers and then bumps Shayna off buckles. Sasha tags Bianca, they both stomp away on Shayna. Bianca handsprings to run in and RAM into Shayna! Sasha tags back in, and hits a SWINGING METEORA! Tag back to Bianca, and they snapmare Shayna for Bianca to handspring SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Bianca keeps on Shayna with a scoop but Shayna fights free, shoves and runs. Bianca dodges, drops and hurdles, but the two stand off a moment. Bianca catches Shayna to a backslide, ONE! Bianca steps through to La Magistrol, TWO! Roll up, TWO, but into a Triangle! Bianca dead lifts but Shayna gets free to forearm and KNEE!

Shayna stalks Bianca, gets the arm and twists the wrist to then hammerlock the arm. Nia tags in and Shayna is upset because she was going to stomp! Bianca fires forearms on Nia, Sasha tags in but runs into a fireman’s carry! Sasha slips off, runs and tilt-o-whirls and wants the arm! Nia shoves her away and runs her over! Reggie laughs as Nia covers, TWO! Nia runs but Sasha avoids the elbow drop! Sasha runs but Nia pops her up! Sasha fights, Bianca tags in, and Bianca dropkicks Nia into Sasha’s rana! Bianca dropkicks Nia down, covers, ONE!! Bianca keeps on Nia, but Nia blocks the whip to whip Bianca.

Bianca dodges and Nia hits buckles. Nia puts Bianca on the apron, Shayna is there but Nia DECKS Bianca! Shayna tags in, drags Bianca up and throws her into the apron! Shayna pushes Bianca in, keeps her from Sasha and rains down fists! Cover, TWO! Shayna wraps on a grovit, Bianca endures, fights her way up, but Shayna clubs away on Bianca’s back! Shayna drags Bianca over, Nia tags in and headbutts Bianca in the ribs! Nia drags Bianca up to choke her on the ropes! The ref counts, Nia lets off at 4 and then TOSSES Bianca around the way! Nia runs to SPLASH the corner, then she shoves Bianca down. Nia runs to drop the elbow! Cover, TWO!

Nia drags Bianca up, puts her in a corner, tags Shayna in and Shayna runs in to KNEE Bianca down! Cover, TWO! Shayna grows annoyed but she kicks Bianca around. Shayna chokes Bianca on ropes and grinds her face in! The ref counts, Shayna lets off but Bianca hits back. Shayna knees and kicks away on Bianca, then looms over her. Shayna clamps onto an arm, grinds it down but Bianca fights up. Sasha coaches Bianca, Bianca fights up and kicks but Shayna blocks to throw her down! Tag to Nia, and Shayna feeds Bianca to Nia’s scoop and SLAM! Cover, ONE!! Nia keeps on Bianca with a cobra clutch and leans on the hold. Bianca endures, even as Nia thrashes her!

Sasha coaches Bianca, Bianca fights up, throws elbows and gets free, but Nia scoops her. Bianca slips out, shoves and fireman’s carries! Shayna gets in but Bianca hits her first. Nia shoves Bianca to a corner, Bianca goes up and Nia POSTS Herself! Hot tag to Sasha! Sasha blocks Shayna’s kick to KNEE her! METEORA for Nia! METEORA for Shayna! Sasha springboards but Nia blocks and throws her! Sasha gets Shayna, kicks Nia and TORNADO DDT’s! Cover, TWO! Sasha gets Shayna up, tags Bianca and then slams Shayna down. Bianca is up top, for an EST 450!! Cover, but Reggie distracts the ref! Sasha leaps but misses Reggie! So Bianca DECKS him!!

But Shayna gets Bianca in a KIRAFUDA! Bianca gets out, chicken wings, and Sasha tags in! GlamEST KNEE!! To a BANK STAEMTNE! Bianca intercepts Nia but Nia shoves Bianca down on Sasha and Shayna! Everyone else is down as Nia goes back to her corner. Sasha misunderstands what happened but Bianca points out it was Nia! The challengers argue, Sasha pushes the “rookie” and Bianca has had it with Sasha. But Shayna rolls Sasha up, and wins!!

Winners: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

And that’s what broke the #LegitEST duo! Sasha and Bianca couldn’t trust each other and they get caught off guard! They keep arguing after the champions leave, and Sasha boops Bianca. Then SLAPS her! “You’re the rookie!” Sasha leaves before Bianca can respond, but is the receipt coming soon enough at WrestleMania?

 

Shane McMahon exits the Doctor Trainer room.

A huge ice pack is on his knee and he has a crutch. Elias and Jaxson Ryker come by to talk their WrestleMania pitch. A huge musical epic for Mania that Bad Bunny will feel obligated to hand over his Grammy out of respect. Now’s not a good time, guys. But Elias has always wanted to be in front of a WrestleMania crowd! Name it, he’ll do it! Well, putting it that way… Shane has an idea. Is Shane about to find someone for Braun to face after all?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Big E VS Apollo Crews!

To say this has gotten personal is putting it lightly. To say the title was the only reason these two stopped being friends is inaccurate. And to say that there is aggression between these two is an understatement. Big E and the REAL Apollo are ready to cripple each other if that is what it takes to prove who is truly worthy of going to WrestleMania as the Intercontinental Champion! Will Apollo get what he wants? Or just get what he deserves?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and a battle of steel and gold finally looks to settle itself!

Apollo and Big E fire off fists right away! Apollo knees low, CLUBS and whips but Big E reverse! Apollo ends up on the apron and Big E runs to SPEAR him off it! “This is what you wanted!? This is what you wanted?!” Big E clubs Apollo, Apollo throws hands but Big E ROCKS him! Big E has Apollo on the apron and says he asked for this! Big E stomps Apollo, stands on Apollo’s head, then stomps him again! “You wanted this ass whooping! You asked for this ass whooping! And you’re gonna get every bit of it.” APRON SPLASH! Apollo writhes and Big E says this is the side of him Apollo wanted to see! Big E CLUBS Apollo more, gets in the ring and tells the ref Apollo wanted this!

Big E goes back to the apron and says Apollo doesn’t want this now that he knows what it’s about. ANOTHER APRON SPLASH! Apollo crawls away into the ring, Big E pursues and says, “This is what conflict is!” Apollo throws a haymaker but Big E ROCKS him with a forearm! And then another! And then an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Big E gets Apollo up again for another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Big E shouts that Apollo wanted this shot, so he’s getting it! But then Apollo dropkicks Big E’s leg out! Apollo hits a clothesline, then drags Big E up for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Apollo holds on to GERMAN SUPLEX again! And ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX!

Apollo looms over Big E and stomps him. Now Apollo stands on Big E’s head, but lets off at 4. Apollo demands Big E get up, and then reels him in for a SPINEBUSTER! Apollo stomps Big E, goes to a corner and climbs up top, for a FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Big E survives but Apollo wraps on a rear bearhug! Apollo squeezes tight, Big E endures and fights up to throw elbows. Big E is free but he runs into an ENZIGURI! Apollo ENZIGURIS again! STANIND MOONSAULT ONTO KNEES! Big E runs in but Apollo dodges to POST him! Apollo reels Big E in but no bomb yet! Big E arm-drags, scoops, but Apollo slips out!

Apollo brings Big E around to cradle, TWO! Big E has it, and even bridges, Big E wins?!

Winner: Big E, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

But Apollo attacks! Does he not realize he lost? Or does he not care?! Apollo demands Big E get up, for an OLYMPIC SLAM!! He says it is NOT over, and he drags Big E up again, for ANOTHER OLYMPIC SLAM! Apollo slaps Big E around, demands he get up again, and SLAPS him! A THIRD OLYMPIC SLAM!! Apollo does not accept Big E as champion, because HE is the one standing tall! Will this war between former friends never end?

 

“Joseph Average” is giving out Old Spice samples.

Drew Gulak likes, but Akira Tozawa demands to know where R-Truth is! Joseph doesn’t know- WHERE IS R-TRUTH!? Truth is hiding behind the free samples! He even hands Akira one! TRUUUUTH!! Tozawa drags Truth out from behind the shelves! Joseph tries to pick up his samples, but ends up pinning Truth?!

Winner: Joseph Average, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

Regular ol’ Joseph Average, is champion!? Truth says he WAS! Roll up! Truth wins!!

Winner: R-Truth, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

Truth thanks Average Joe for the free samples! Tozawa rips Joseph’s shirt, but then sees that shirt! The prophecy is true! The Night Panther lives!!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.

Shane officially introduces The Drifter, and says as a “prelude” to WrestleMania, he wants the fans to hear Elias’ music. Elias takes it from here, playing his guitar, but then Shane interrupts and apologizes for that. He wants Elias to know that he’s taking Shane’s place in tonight’s match. Wait, what? The match with Braun!? YES!

Elias w/ Jaxson Ryker VS Braun Strowman!

The Drifter is about to learn that you really should be careful what you wish for. Elias wants to play on the Grandest Stage of Them All, but will he even make it down the Road to WrestleMania with the Monster Among Men in his path?

The bell rings, Elisa wants Braun to take it easy, he’s after Shane, remember? Braun still rushes at Elias, but Elias dodges and throws quick body shots. Ryker distracts, but Strowman still gets Elias in a corner for hands! And elbows! So many elbows! Then Braun TOSSES Elias across the ring! Braun is foaming at the mouth as Elias gets out, and Braun grabs Elias by his hair! He POSTS Elias, then POSTS him the other way! Elias flops down, Braun drags him in and throws him around again! Braun KICKS Elias to a corner! And bends him against the ropes! The ref counts, Braun lets off at 4, and brings Elias up to CLUB him down! And then runs in at the corner!

Ryker saves Elias and they regroup on the outside. But the Strowman Express runs! Ryker dodges and Elias gets BLASTED! Braun goes back to the ring as the ring count climbs. Ryker checks on Elias, and throws him in at 8! Elias might’ve wanted to stay out, actually… Braun glares at Ryker, Ryker gets up on the apron again, and Elias CHOP BLOCKS Braun! DDT!! Elias hurries up top, for a MACHO ELBOW! Cover, TWO!! Elias is sent flying and is shocked! Elias hurries to go after Braun with haymakers and knees! Elias runs, into a LARIAT! Braun is still seething as he corner SPLASHES and then throws Elias down! Braun drags Elias up for a ONE HAND SPINEBUSTER!!

Braun isn’t done there, he scoops Elias for the MONSTER SLAM!! Cover, Braun wins!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by pinfall

Shane didn’t #GetTheseHands but The Drifter sure did! Will Braun be sure that, once Shane is 100% again, they will have their battle in the ring?

 

Riddle checks in with Nakamura.

Sup, Bro? Nakamura congratulates Riddle on retaining his title. Thanks, bro! And good luck with Rollins! But uh, would Nakamura want to go in business with Riddle? Riddle’s latest idea is great! Tricking out scooters! Getting some Nos boosters, LED lights, and some manes like they’re horses! That’s interesting- Yeah, very interesting, right? And think about this! Riddle’s cousin Skeeter was a skater and he had a scooter, and he was grinding the rail all slow and at a weird angle, and then he smashed his little skeeters. Now he kinda walks like Nakamura’s entrance. Oh, where’d Nakamura go? Probably to get his scooter. Alright, see you later, bro!

 

Shinsuke Nakamura VS Seth Rollins!

The King of Strong Style wants to avenge the Swiss Cyborg for what the Architect has done to him! But Rollins says he is going to show Nakamura what respect is all about! Will Nakamura dry up that Seth Rollins drip? Or will he have no choice but to #EmbraceTheVision?

The bell rings and Rollins circles with Nakamura. They tie up, Rollins headlocks and laughs, but Nakamura fights up and powers out. Rollins runs into a kitchen sink knee, then Nakamura drops a knee! Rollins staggers, but ducks the roundhouse to get out! Nakamura shouts, “C’MON!!” Rollins gets in, Nakamura kicks and whips to GAMANGIRI! Cover, ONE! Nakamura stomps Rollins, kicks him, then waistlocks. Rollins flails and reaches but elbows free! Rollins kicks Nakamura in the leg then SMACKS him off the mat! Rollins throws Nakamura out hard, aims from the apron and LEAPS for a flying knee! Rollins sneers as he drags Nakamura up and bounces him off the desk!

Rollins puts Nakamura in as the ring count climbs past 5, then slithers behind him. “You want to disrespect me?” Rollins runs and KNEES Nakamura against ropes. Rollins whips and KNEES again, and then again! Rollins fireman’s carries Nakamura for a GUT BUSTER! Cover, ONE!! Rollins is upset that he only got a one, but he dares Nakamura to get up. Rollins throws down hands, rams Nakamura into a corner, and rams him in again. Rollins wrenches, whips corner to corner hard, then drags him out to scoop to a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Rollins wraps on a rear bearhug but Nakamura throws elbows. Rollins squeezes tighter but Nakamura endures.

Nakamura gets up, reaches for ropes but has to elbow Rollins more. Rollins lets go but he elbows Nakamura down! And drops a knee! Cover, TWO! Another cover, ONE!! Rollins is again annoyed, and talks trash, “Cesaro is watching!” Rollins chokes Nakamura on ropes and then throws him down again. Rollins shouts about being swung around 22 times and he asks where Cesaro is now. Rollins says he’s strong! He’s tough! He gets Nakamura’s legs, and he slaps Nakamura around. Nakamura drags Rollins down with an ARMBAR! Rollins gets a ropebreak but Nakamura lets go fast. Rollins is outside, Nakamura WRECKS him with a baseball slide!

Nakamura puts Rollins on the apron for a KNEE! And then a GUILLOTINE KNEE! Nakamura puts Rollins in, Rollins staggers into KICKS! Nakamura shoves Rollins to a corner for GOOD VIBRATIONS! Nakamura whips corner to corner but Rollins reverses. Rollins runs in but Nakamura KNEES back! Nakamura puts Rollins up top for the TOP SHELF KNEE! Cover, TWO! Nakamura grits his teeth as he gets Rollins back up. Nakamura scoops but Rollins elbows free! Rollins runs but into a boot! Nakamura goes up top but Rollins throws him off!! Nakamura hits the floor, Rollins builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit and they hit barriers!

Rollins drags Nakamura up, puts him in, and aims from the apron. Springboard FLYING KNEE! And then a SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO! Nakamura survives and Rollins is beside himself! Rollins drags Nakamura up, reels him in, but Nakamura blocks the suplex! Rollins ROCKS him with a right, reels him in again, but Nakamura blocks again! Rollins ROCKS Nakamura but Nakamura hits back! Rollins throws another forearm but so does Nakamura! They go back and forth, Rollins gets the edge but swings into a strike fest! Rollins PELES! Rollins drags Nakamura up to powerbomb lift but Nakamura slips out! Rollins ducks one kick but not the LEFT!

Rollins staggers to a corner, Nakamura aims from the other! Nakamura runs in but blocks boots first! He turns Rollins sideways into the ropes, SLIDING GERMAN! Rollins flounders up, Nakamura fires up and aims again! “YAO~!” But Rollins pops Nakamura up for a BUCKLE BOMB! Rollins drags Nakamura back up, and suplexes for a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Nakamura survives and Rollins is furious! Rollins aims from a corner, runs in but Nakamura gets him to a fireman’s carry! LANDSLIDE DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Nakamura drags Rollins up, INVERTED EXPLODER! Nakamura aims from the corner again, “YAO~!” KIN-

NO! Rollins rolls Nakamura up, Nakamura slips out but Rollins reels Nakamura in for a DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! And then the CURB STOM- NO, Nakamura ducks it! But Rollins HEEL KICKS him down! Rollins is seething as he shouts, “Don’t disrespect me!” Nakamura slowly sits up, Rollins runs and CURB STOMPS!! Cover, Rollins wins!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall

The Architect beats the Artist, and shouts, “That’s what happens when you step into my ring!” Rollins demands respect, but will he get it from the SmackDown roster?

 

No Holds Barred: Drew McIntyre VS Sheamus!

“A lot can happen in 20 years.” A friendship that defined both of these men has now fallen apart. Two journeys that intertwined, parted, but reunited was ruined, all because of jealousy and pride. These two warriors made each other better, but now they’d love nothing better than to finish this. With nothing holding these two back, which warrior stands tall at the end of this war?

The bell rings and Sheamus says McIntyre asked for this. Did McIntyre ever think of what Sheamus did for him? McIntyre SLAPS Sheamus, and now it’s a brawl! Sheamus knees low, CLUBS hard, then whips McIntyre to ropes. McIntyre reverses, Sheamus kicks him and runs but into an OVERHEAD SUPLEX! And then McIntyre gets Sheamus for ANOTHER! McIntyre clotheslines Sheamus out, pursues, but Sheamus trips him on the apron! Sheamus throws hands, whips McIntyre into barriers and then throws hands! Sheamus brings McIntyre up to whip, but McIntyre reverses to reel him in for another OVERHEAD SUPLEX!

McIntyre drags Sheamus back up, CHOPS him against the announce desk, and then throws haymakers! McIntyre whips and POSTS Sheamus! McIntyre clears off the desk, goes under the ring, and brings out chairs, and kendo sticks! Sheamus runs in to blindside McIntyre! Sheamus POSTS McIntyre, hurries to get himself a kendo stick, and then swings! McIntyre dodges and stick hits post! McIntyre reels Sheamus in for a fourth OVERHEAD! McIntyre drags Sheamus up to whip into steel steps! Sheamus flops against the base and McIntyre storms over. McIntyre stands on Sheamus’ head then STOMPS him! Sheamus flops back but McIntyre looms over him.

McIntyre drags Sheamus up to CHOP him again! McIntyre puts Sheamus in, gets a kendo stick, but Sheamus KNEES him down first! Cover, TWO! Sheamus gets a kendo stick again, and SMACKS him on the back! And SMACKS him again! Sheamus SMACKS McIntyre while taunting him, “This is what you wanted, right?!” Sheamus says he’ll make it legit! McIntyre’s going to WrestleMania, he should get up! Sheamus SMACKS McIntyre back down! Sheamus digs the kendo stick into McIntyre’s jaw! “How does that taste?!” McIntyre’s jaw is still a target from last year, but McIntyre headbutts and HEADBUTTS! And BOOTS!

McIntyre goes to a corner to catch his breath, and he starts to get pissed again. McIntyre picks up the kendo stick and sees Sheamus is down. Sheamus glares up at McIntyre, and McIntyre SMACKS him! And SMACKS, and SMACKS, and SMACKS! McIntyre uses the stick for a Russian Leg Sweep! McIntyre digs the kendo stick into Sheamus’ eyes!! Sheamus pushes McIntyre away but McIntyre just SMACKS him again! Sheamus falls out of the ring, McIntyre follows and runs into a drop toehold to the steps! McIntyre is dazed, Sheamus fetches the top half of the steps! McIntyre staggers up as Sheamus comes around, and Sheamus RAMS McIntyre down!

Sheamus fires up, finishes clearing the desk for McIntyre, and then stomps McIntyre while he’s down. “What’s that face paint gonna do for you now?!” Sheamus puts McIntyre on the desk, climbs up to join him, and fireman’s carries, but McIntyre fights free! To underhooks the arms! Sheamus resists, McIntyre throws knees, to then throw Sheamus at the barriers! McIntyre glares as he stalks behind Sheamus through the timekeeper’s area to the outside. McIntyre fish hooks Sheamus’ mouth! And punch him down! The go behind the ThunderDome screens, McIntyre throws Sheamus into railing! And CHOPS him off his feet!

McIntyre stomps and CLUBS Sheamus more, and follows him around the way. Sheamus throws hands, they brawl, and Sheamus blocks a suplex! Sheamus suplexes McIntyre! McIntyre thuds off the bare floor of the ThunderDome! McIntyre sputters and crawls to a ramp. Sheamus CLUBS McIntyre on the back, up some trunks, and then rains down more rights. Sheamus drags McIntyre up to throw body shots! McIntyre ends up on the upper level of the ThunderDome screens but he hits back! McIntyre fires off haymakers, then whips Sheamus along, only for Sheamus to reel him in! ROLLING SENTON! Again, McIntyre gasps and sputters!

Sheamus drags McIntyre up, brings him along the aisle, but McIntyre throws body shots! Sheamus CLUBS McIntyre down again and again, then fireman’s carries. McIntyre slips off before Sheamus can throw him! McIntyre bumps Sheamus off ThunderDome screens, then sends him crashing through others!! Sheamus tumbles from that middle row to somewhere down below!! McIntyre climbs down to loom over Sheamus, and dares him to keep talking trash. McIntyre CLUBS Sheamus, follows him back to the ramp and punches him down the way. McIntyre says up Sheamus’ as he kicks him down! McIntyre dares The Fella to talk more trash, as he puts him on a road case!

McIntyre pushes the case around to get Sheamus back to ringside! McIntyre drags Sheamus up, for a suplex to the floor! Both men writhe but McIntyre forces himself to rise! McIntyre drags Sheamus back up, fireman’s carries him, and hauls him back to the desk. Sheamus claws McIntyre’s eyes and BROGUES him over barriers!! Sheamus clutches his back as he hobbles up and looks to fetch McIntyre. Sheamus hops over the barriers, grits his teeth while clutching his side, and he stomps McIntyre! Sheamus bumps McIntyre off road cases, then drags him up and over the barriers, aiming for the desk! “I should be the main event of WrestleMania!!”

Sheamus fireman’s carries, tucks McIntyre in, WHITE NOISE THROUGH THE DESK!! The ref checks on both men in the wreckage and somehow they’re okay to continue! Sheamus hobbles up, drags McIntyre towards the ring but his own back makes that hard. “This is Awesome!” as Sheamus still gets McIntyre up and in. Sheamus looks for something more to use, and decides to use a piece of the desk! Sheamus brings that in, positions it, and looms over McIntyre. “You’re the Chosen One, right? What about me? What about Sheamus, huh?” Sheamus throws more hands, but McIntyre SLAPS Sheamus! Sheamus SLAPS back and it’s a SLAP fight!

Sheamus kicks, Alabama lifts, but McIntyre slips out! Sheamus avoids the underhooks once, but not the second! FUTURE SHOCK to the desk piece!! CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Celtic Warrior almost had the Scottish Warrior, but the key word is “almost!” McIntyre defeats Sheamus, and now moves on to Bobby Lashley at WrestleMania! If he could survive this, will McIntyre be able to survive the Rocky Mountain Machine and take back the WWE World Championship?

 

Randy Orton VS Alexa Bliss!

The Viper thought burning The Fiend alive was enough. He thought it’d end there. He thought wrong. Twisted Lil’ Bliss has been haunting Orton in ways no one could’ve imagined. But Orton vows to exorcise Alexa and kick her out of his life for good. Will it really end here? Or is Orton going to pay for all of his transgressions?

But as Orton goes for his pose, he starts spitting up the black ink!! Alexa is already affecting him before the bell! Orton is pissed, demands a towel and the timekeeper hands him one. Orton wipes his mouth, coughs and sputters, then seethes and glares at the stage. He isn’t getting scared off, he’s getting pissed off! He demands Alexa stop playing games and get to the ring! Alexa makes her entrance, and already has those spooky eyes as she laughs and skips her way to the ring. The magenta light bathes the arena and the bell rings! Orton storms right over but then FIRE flashes all around!! The ref even bails out after that one!

Alexa laughs at Orton, Orton runs in but Alexa dodges and he POSTS himself! Alexa pretends to feel bad but then laughs at Orton’s pain. Alexa skips around the ring and wants Orton to follow after. Orton gets up, seethes as he follows in this twisted follow the leader. Alexa hops over the steel steps, waits so Orton can get closer, and then gives a curious smile. She looks up, and a LIGHTING TRUSS falls?! Alexa laughs and Orton shouts, “Are you trying to kill me?!” She just shrugs and says “The sky is falling.” Alexa goes back into the ring and coaxes Orton in like he’s a puppy dog. She even plays in the ropes like it’s a swing set.

Orton takes his time returning, checking to see if anything else will fall. Orton steps inside, Alexa blows a kiss, and then throws a FIREBALL!! Orton narrowly avoided that one, but Alexa still celebrates like she scored a homerun or something. Alexa hops up to sit on the top rope and Orton stands up, but what is reaching out from under the ring mat?!?! It’s a gnarly, burned hand! And with another burst of flame, THE FIEND returns!!! Mutilated and grotesque, The Fiend returns from the dead!! Orton isn’t even sure what to say, but Alexa shoves Orton into SISTER ABIGAIL! Alexa covers, the ref returns to count, Alexa wins!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall

HE’S HEEEERE~! And with his help, Alexa has beaten The Viper! But just what is going to happen now that these two are reunited?!

 

WWE Universal Championship, Edge as Special Guest Enforcer: Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Daniel Bryan!

The plans for WrestleMania could change drastically right here! The Special Counsel wants us to believe that the Tribal Chief will not just give the Goat a hellacious beating, but that he will scare away the Rated R Superstar tonight. However, Edge is here to make sure things are finally fair and square for the challenger to the Universal Championship! Will Bryan be able to turn the tide and have one more #YEStleMania moment?

Edge makes his entrance first as enforcer. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we will see what THE main event of WrestleMania really looks like!

Bryan and Roman circle, Bryan picks up the speed a bit as he goes around Roman. Roman tries to corner Bryan but Bryan wants his leg. Roman grabs ropes and Bryan lets off. Bryan taunts Roman that he’s worried about a simple single leg. Roman and Bryan feel out a grapple, Roman gets Bryan into a corner, but the ref counts. Bryan slips out at 3 to kick Roman in the leg. Bryan taunts Roman more, and they circle again. They tie up, Roman powers Bryan to another corner, the ref counts and Roman CLUBS Bryan as they break! Roman tells Bryan he should just go home. They circle again, approach, and Bryan gets a leg pick! Roman scrambles around to get a ropebreak!

Bryan says he could get that any time. Roman gets up, cools off but Bryan pushes the offense. He dares Roman to come after him, and then he goes for a leg. Roman grabs at Bryan but Bryan gets around. Roman gets another ropebreak, and Bryan grins as he lets off. They feel out the grapple again, knuckle lock, and Roman uses his strength to bring Bryan to his knees! Roman mocks Bryan, “You wanna break?” Roman scrapes his laces on Bryan’s face but Bryan gets up and gets a takedown to an ARMBAR! Roman scrambles, gets another ropebreak, and Bryan lets off quick. Bryan does Yes Fingers, fans join in on their screens, but Roman keeps his cool.

Roman and Bryan circle again, Bryan gives testing jabs, but Roman just gets annoyed. Roman dares Bryan to hit him, Bryan jabs him in the stomach again. Bryan grins as Roman keeps egging Bryan on. Bryan throws more jabs, then a kick! Roman is getting more annoyed as Bryan throws more quick kicks. Bryan gets cornered, Roman headlocks and throws Bryan down! Heyman likes what he sees but Bryan fights up. Bryan slips out the back, has a hammerlock and he knees Roman in the arm! And again! Heyman’s confidence turns to worry as Bryan digs his elbows into Roman’s head. Bryan gets Roman’s other arm and bends the fingers! Bryan pulls to go after Roman’s shoulder!

Roman endures as Bryan stands on the arm to make it a recliner cover, ONE!! Roman headbutts Bryan, then stomps him down! Roman drags Bryan up to DECK him! Roman paces around, drags him back up and throws a haymaker! Bryan goes to a corner, Roman stalks him, and Roman RAMS into Bryan! Roman hauls Bryan up but Bryan flails, only for Roman to RAM him into another corner! Roman runs but into a dropkick! Bryan gets Roman’s arm, wrenches and hits an elbow breaker! And then wrenches to KICK the leg, and hit another elbow breaker! And then KICKS the leg, to wrench. Roman rakes eyes, gets Bryan in a corner, but the ref reprimands.

Roman throws point-blank lariats! But Bryan turns it around for YES Kicks and fast hands! Bryan whips, Roman reverses, but Bryan goes up and over and keeps moving to duck and run, into a tilt-o-whirl SLAM! Cover, TWO! Roman digs Bryan’s face into the mat and bounces him off it! Roman taunts Edge but Edge tells him to worry about Bryan. Bryan goes to ropes, Roman throws crossface forearms! Roman drags Bryan up, and snap suplexes him! Heyman’s confidence returns as Roman covers, TWO! Roman grows annoyed again but then he smiles as he looms over Bryan. Bryan goes back to a corner, Roman drags him up but Bryan goes for a leg!

Roman holds off Bryan’s takedown and CLUBS Bryan! Bryan hits from below but Roman kicks him down. Bryan hits again but Roman stomps him back down! Bryan keeps hitting back but Roman keeps stomping! Roman snarls and drags Bryan into a chinlock. Roman grinds Bryan down, and says, “When I got it, you don’t get out.” Roman says he has a vice grip, but Bryan fights up. Bryan throws body shots, Roman shoves Bryan away but Bryan returns! Roman puts Bryan on the apron and DECKS him with an uppercut! Bryan falls to the floor and Roman again taunts Edge. Edge says Roman still needs to worry about Bryan. Roman goes out to fetch Bryan, and throw him into barriers!

The ring count is past 5 but Roman goes in at 7. Bryan stands as Roman goes out to fetch Bryan, but Bryan fires body shots and uppercuts and kicks! Bryan KICKS away on Roman, but Roman POSTS him! The ring count is climbing but Roman puts Bryan in at 8! Cover, TWO! Heyman says it was that close, but Bryan is still in this. Roman drags Bryan up to snap suplex again! Cover, TWO! Roman is again annoyed and Bryan drags himself to another corner. Roman runs in to corner clothesline him! Heyman says Bryan should listen to his Tribal Chief! Roman wants Bryan to acknowledge him. Look in the camera and tell the world!

Roman whips Bryan corner to corner hard! Roman runs in but Bryan drop toeholds him into buckles! Bryan fires off Yes Kicks from all sides, then runs corner to corner to dropkick! Bryan brings Roman up to the very top, then throws haymakers! Bryan climbs up, but Roman blocks the Steiner! Roman drags Bryan into a BOSTON CRAB! Bryan endures as Roman bends him back! Bryan claws for ropes, reaches, but Roman brings him around! Bryan makes that a cradle, TWO!! Bryan dodges, and hits a LEAPING LARIAT! Both men are down and Heyman’s stress is back again! Edge paces, making sure nothing sneaky is happening as both men slowly rise.

Bryan throws hands, kicks, but Roman knees low! Roman whips Bryan to ropes but Bryan kicks him away! Roman returns but Bryan dumps him out! Bryan slingshots to PLANCHA, but Roman makes it a SLAM! Roman then drags Bryan up, but Bryan slips off to POST Roman! Bryan aims from the apron for a FLYING KNEE! Down goes Roman! But Bryan can only win the title in the ring! Bryan puts Roman in at 7 of 10, climbs up top and FLYING KNEES ROMAN’S ARM!! Roman writhes, Heyman panics and Bryan climbs up again! Bryan is up top again and leaps for a missile dropkick! Roman is down again but Bryan fires up! Bryan crawls to cover, TWO!

Bryan keeps his focus while Roman tries to get his bad arm moving. Heyman is doing his best to be stoic as Bryan gives Roman more YES Kicks! Roman flounders about as Bryan keeps giving him KICKS! Kick after kick after kick, then the BUZZ- NO! Roman blocks the buzzsaw and powers Bryan to a corner! The ref counts, Roman ROCKS Bryan with an uppercut! Roman grinds his forearm into Bryan’s face, throws knees into him, but the ref keeps counting. Roman finally lets off to cool down, but Bryan kicks back! And rushes in! Roman sprawls to block the takedown, and brings Bryan up, but Bryan RANAS the bomb away! BUZZSAW! And then ANOTHER BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO!!

Bryan nods, he knows Roman is tough. Heyman is worried, Edge is invested, and Bryan says Roman likes to talk, but now he’s going to get broken! Bryan unleashes DANIELSON STOMPS! Then drags Roman into the YES LOCK!! Roman endures, but the hands are in his face, he can’t see! Roman refuses to quit, reaches out and gets his face free, but Bryan gets the other arm! Bryan rolls Roman away from ropes and then gets the YES LOCK BACK!! Roman is stuck, hands in his face, and he can’t figure out where ropes are! Roman pries at Bryan’s fingers, gets the hold off and he rains down furious forearms, and even elbows!

But Bryan triangle holds! Roman dead lifts to POWERBOMB! High stack, TWO!! Bryan survives but both men are down! Bryan drags himself to a corner while Roman talks to himself. Roman gets to the other corner and watches Bryan get up. Roman run sin, but into a kick! Roman staggers, but dodges, the FLYING KNEE hits the ref!! Roman SPEARS Bryan! Cover, but the ref can’t count! Edge is making himself the ref! TWO!! Both men are down again as Roman looks up and sees Edge. Edge says he’s just doing his job as special enforcer. Roman says Edge better follow his lead, but Edge says Roman needs to do his job.

Roman rains down rights on Bryan again! Bryan gets Roman’s arm again! TRIANGLE HOLD! Roman powers up to dead lift again, but Bryan shifts and throws hands, to then drag Roman back down! YES LOCK!!! Roman endures, pries at the hold, but Bryan throws crossface forearms! Bryan clubs away on Roman again and again then puts the Yes Lock back on! JEY USO SUPERKICKS EDGE!! And SUPERKICKS Bryan!! Jey always has to save Roman! Jey goes out and gets a chair! Jey drags Edge up to POST him! Jey tells Bryan to stand, but Bryan ducks the chair to KNEE PLUS Jey down!! Heyman panics as Bryan gets the chair!!

Bryan glares at Roman, and SMACKS JEY! And SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS Jey! Jey bails out, Bryan sees no one is up to see… Bryan aims at Roman, but Roman dodges again, and EDGE takes the chair shot! SUPERMAN PUNCH!! Roman seethes, glares at Bryan and runs, INTO A YES LOCK!! Just like Elimination Chamber!! Roman is stuck!! Roman is freaking out and Heyman is, too! Roman is fading out!! Is he tapping?!?! Roman is tapping, but Edge SMACKS Bryan with the chair!!! Edge SMACKS Roman, too!! Edge SMACKS Bryan again, and shouts, “THIS IS MINE! MINE!!” The Rated R Superstar no longer cares who he faces, he storms off and lets this sort itself out!

Roman and Bryan are both writhing, stirring, and a second referee appears! Roman drags himself to cover Bryan, and Roman wins!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall (still WWE Universal Champion)

Once again, Roman is fortunate to have someone else around! But will Roman be able to survive when he finally faces Edge 1v1?


My Thoughts:

So this was a bit of a mixed back for a WWE PPV. Though not announced as such, I just had a feeling the US Championship would end up a kickoff show match. And as I figured, Riddle would win and Ali would get kicked out of Retribution. Heck, Retribution might just be through, with all but Mace and T-Bar going their separate ways. Maybe they’ll all get their real names back, too. The real critical point is what Ali does now that he’s not their leader. The main show then seemed to zip by, which is both good and maybe not so good, as it didn’t seem like a good chunk of the show was really diving that deep into the matches.

The WWE Women’s Tag title match went as expected, including Reggie interfering and being just part of the reason Sasha & Bianca lost. I expected a bit more of a scuffle from Sasha and Bianca but it works that Sasha left with just disrespecting Bianca and slapping her eyelashes out of place. The next three weeks are going to really escalate things for Sasha VS Bianca. Big E VS Apollo was a great match, but that ending was really about preserving this feud so they can go again at Mania. It may not have been done as crisp as they wanted, but it was clearly about Big E just snatching a win. I feel like a disqualification ending would’ve been better, given the anger between these two.

If I’m not mistaken, “Joseph Average” was actually Eric Bugenhagen from NXT. I almost hope this is his call-up. The Old Spice Night Panther commercial turning into a WWE 24/7 Championship segment was very clever, and makes it one of the best produced WEW 24/7 Championship segments. Shane swapping out with Elias wasn’t the swap out I expected, but we all knew Shane wasn’t actually facing Braun yet. I just didn’t think Shane would have a “training injury” as the reason why. Of course, even in kayfabe, it could be a fake-out to delay things. I wonder if Braun will force Shane to compete against him at Mania, exposing the “injury” is just a cover.

From Rollins VS Nakamura on, we started getting some really good PPV stuff. Rollins VS Nakamura itself was a great match, and I was actually surprised we didn’t get anything of Cesaro or Murphy, but that was for the better. Rollins wins fair and square so perhaps all the better for him and Cesaro at Mania. The No Holds Barred, McIntyre VS Sheamus, was great and even had a great video package to set it up. Smashing up ThunderDome screens was not a spot I would’ve expected but that really added something. McIntyre wins to go strong towards Mania, but it’s going to be hard to determine who wins between Lashley VS McIntyre because they’re both going so strong right now.

Alexa VS Orton was perhaps exactly what it should’ve been. Alexa was using all her tricks, and then we got burned zombie Fiend busting up from the floor a la Kane, that was really wild stuff. While Firefly Fun House Match 2, the Orton Saga is a great concept, I almost want at least one match with burned, disgusting Fiend to see how that affects his fighting style, and just for more opponents to react to.

The Universal Championship match was a lot longer than I expected it would be, as it dominated the last hour, and Bryan had great character work the entire time. I’m just disappointed we had to again throw Jey in there, and even have one of those “OH NO! Hit the wrong person! And now that person will hit me back!” with Bryan and Edge. Edge shouting “THIS IS MINE!” like he was selfishly keeping this for himself was a good touch, though. If we end up with a Triple Threat like fans want/hope, that moment would at least make Edge a Tweener where Roman is Heel and Bryan is Face. There was also the fact Roman tapped, just without it being put on the win-loss record, so I’m thinking there’s a way to get us to that Triple Threat to make Mania even bigger.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Elimination Chamber Results & Report! (2/24/24)

WWE goes Down Under!

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Who survives Perth to head for Philadelphia?

The Road to WrestleMania passes through Perth, Australia, with two massive Elimination Chambers! Who will face Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins for the World Heavyweight Championship?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Show – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: The Kabuki Warriors VS Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell; The Kabuki Warriors win and retain the titles.
  • Women’s World Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Becky Lynch VS Raquel Rodriguez VS Naomi VS Liv Morgan VS Bianca Belair VS Tiffany Stratton; Becky wins and will challenge for the title at WrestleMania 40.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: Finn Balor & Damian Priest w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Tyler Bate & Pete Dunne; Finn & Priest win and retain the titles.
  • World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre VS LA Knight VS Bobby Lashley VS Kevin Owens VS Logan Paul; wins and will challenge for the title at WrestleMania 40.
  • Women’s World Championship: Rhea Ripley VS Nia Jax; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Elimination Chamber Kickoff Show!

Join Megan Morant, Sam Roberts & Peter Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all the action on the golden shores of Perth, Australia!

 

The Rock has a message!

“Oh, I know, everybody wants to know what’s happening down in Perth, Australia. It’s gonna be this weekend, right? Is that right? Yeah, The Rock knows when it’s happening, y’know why? Because they kept asking The Rock, ‘Rock, will you go down to Perth? Will ya come down to Perth, Australia?’ Listen, The Rock can’t be there in Perth, he wishes he could be there in Perth, he’s gonna be there in spirit and that’s all that matters. The People’s Champ’s spirit is gonna be there in Perth. But here’s who else is gonna be there in Perth: Grayson Waller, doing the Waller Effect. It’s that show, it’s a big show.

“It’s a big show here in the states, and it’s an even bigger show down there in Australia? Y’know why? Y’know why, Dumbo? Because Australia is his country, it’s his home country, the people are gonna go crazy for him. But here’s what’s happening. Here’s the BS that’s happening now down in Australia. Cody Rhodes and his little girlfriend, Seth Rollins, are gonna go on the Waller Effect. Here’s the thing, I need you, and you, and this goof holding the camera and this one holding the microphone over here, I need all of you guys to make sure that Perth knows this some BS happening.

“And if those guys, meaning Cody and his little girlfriend, Seth, if they start talking trash, let The Rock know. Tell The Rock. Because here’s what’s gonna happen: The Rock is gonna slap the piss out of both of them, just like that. As a matter of fact, if those two talk trash, The Rock will fly down there to Perth before that interview is over and he’ll do it. Don’t wonder why The Rock can make it that quick, The Rock makes magic happen. Do you understand? All right, that’s all The Rock has to say about Perth. Perth, Australia, get ready because the WWE is coming. Let The Rock know if those two jabronies talk trash. IF YA SA-MELLLL~… what The Rock… is cooking.”

 

Kickoff Show – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: The Kabuki Warriors VS Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell!

It was just last night on SmackDown that Asuka & Kairi Sane made good on their promise to get Dakota Kai back. But now, they must shift things from personal to business as they take on the Poison Pixie and the hometown hero, #IndiWrestling! Will Damage CTRL return to the US still golden? Or will Candice & Indi find the way to win?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see what it takes to take control!

The teams sort out and Kairi starts against Indi. The fans fire up already as Indi and Kairi circle. They tie up, go around, and Indi headlocks. Indi grinds Kairi down, Kairi throws body shots and powers out, only for Indi to run her over! The fans cheer and Indi smiles, but Kairi scrambles away. Asuka coaches Kairi up and Kairi rests with Indi. Kairi gets around Indi, CLUBS away on her, but fans boo. Kairi headlocks, grinds the hold, but Indi fights up. Indi lifts Kairi and fans cheer as Indi shoves Kairi away. Indi drops down, hurdles, and BOOTS Kairi! The fans fire up again as Indi drags Kairi over and tags Candice.

Indi scoops to SLAM Kairi, then she and Candice combine, inverted wheelbarrow SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Candice keeps on Kairi with a wrench but Kairi stomps Candice’s foot! Kairi brings Candice over, tag to Asuka and Kairi feeds Candice to Asuka’s boots! Asuka taunts Candice, taunts the fans, and soaks up the heat. Asuka pie faces, but Candice blocks the kick! Candice spins Asuka to fire off CHOPS and haymakers! The fans fire up with Mrs. Wrestling as she fires off in the corner! Candice runs in to back body block, then snapmare and STEP-UP SENTON! Cover, TWO! Asuka hangs tough but Candice facelocks.

Asuka RAMS Candice into a corner! And again! Asuka backs off to go corner to corner, but Candice ELBOWS her away! Candice goes up, but Asuka runs back in. Candice BOOTS Asuka away again, and Asuka fakes pain to distract the ref. This allows Kairi to SHOVE Candice down! Fans rally for Candice & Indi but Asuka goes out to fetch the Pixie. Asuka CLUBS Candice, puts her in the ring, but Candice crawls for her corner! Asuka CLUBS Candice down, drags her over and tags in Kairi. Kairi TOSSES Candice to an open corner, then she mocks the fans as she walks the plank. Kairi runs in, SLIDING D misses!

Candice and Kairi crawl, hot tag to Asuka! Asuka gets Candice’s foot, ANKLE LOCK! Candice still hops and hops and reaches out! But Asuka reels Candice in, GERMAN SUPLEX! Asuka tells Indi to kiss this, then SLIDING KICK takes Candice down! Tag to Kairi and she climbs. Fans boo, but the FLYING KABUKI ELBOW hits! Cover, TWO! Candice stays in this but Kairi keeps on her with an armlock. The fans rally, Candice fights up and fires forearms! Candice reaches out, Kairi holds on, but Candice still fights. Kairi knees her low! Kairi puts Candice in the corner, tags Asuka, and Asuka HIP ATTACKS Indi down!

Fans boo but the Kabuki Warriors double whip, sidestep, KICK, AX KICK and BULLDOG into the basement DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up but Asuka calls to Kairi again. They coordinate, Asuka whips Candice in but Candice uses that to BLAST Kairi down! Candice BOOTS Asuka, slips under her, and reaches out! Asuka grabs Candice’s foot to drag her back! But Candice ENZIGIRIS free, hot tag to Indi! The fans go wild as Indi rallies on the Kabuki Warriors! LARIAT after LARIAT, and then she brings them together, for a meeting of the minds! Kairi and Asuka fall back, Indi kicks and CLUBS and JABS Asuka!

Indi whips Asuka, for a SPINEBUSTER! Kairi returns, SPINEBUSTER onto Asuka! Indi covers Asuka, TWO!! Asuka keeps the Kabuki Warriors in this but Indi puts Asuka in the ropes. UPPERCUT and BOOT! Asuka sits on the apron, Indi runs up to CROSSBODY her through the ropes! “AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!” “OI OI OI!” Indi puts Asuka in, tags Candice, and they get Asuka up. Candice kicks at Kairi while Indi hits the FULL NELSON FACEBUSTER! Candice LIONSAULTS! Cover, Kairi breaks it! Fans boo but Kairi drags Candice up to whip. Candice reverses to send Kairi out! Tag back to Indi and fans fire up!

Candice CROSSBODIES Kairi on the outside! Indi drags Asuka up, but Asuka throws URAKEN after URAKEN! GERMAN SUPLEX! Indi flounders, but she ducks the buzzsaw! Roll up, TWO!! Asuka escapes but Indi runs up to DECK her! Tag to Candice and Candice goes up. Indi gives her some help, but Kairi trips Indi and that trips Candice! Kairi POSTS Indi, then calls to Asuka. Asuka brings Candice over, tag to Kairi! Kairi climbs, Asuka has Candice in position! InSANE DDT!! Cover, Kabuki Warriors win!

Winners: The Kabuki Warriors, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

Candice & Indi tried their hardest, but The Empress of Tomorrow & The Pirate Princess keep their thrones! Will nothing stop DMG CTRL on the Road to WrestleMania? Will Bayley & Dakota Kai be able to change that next Friday Night SmackDown?

 

Rhea Ripley narrates the intro.

“Around here, we have a saying. ‘No worries.’ Well now, you better start worrying.” The most brutal stop on the Road to WrestleMania, the unforgiving, inescapable and yet career-defining Elimination Chamber! “Mami is always on top.” Or is she? Nia Jax looks to put that to the test. Will the Eradicator end up A-Nia-lated?

 

Women’s World Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Becky Lynch VS Raquel Rodriguez VS Naomi VS Liv Morgan VS Bianca Belair VS Tiffany Stratton!

Before Rhea and Nia battle over the title, this match determines who faces the winner in the most brutal way possible! The Man, Big Mami Cool, The Glow, the LIVing End, the EST and the Wrestling Barbie all want their shot, who survives this sinister structure to take it?

Bianca makes her entrance first, followed by Raquel, Tiffany, and Liv, which leaves Naomi and Becky to start things off. The bell rings and the fans fire up as Becky stares Naomi down. They circle, tie up, and go around. Naomi headlocks to hit a takeover but Becky rolls that into her own headlock. Naomi makes it a cover, ONE, and the two stand up. Naomi powers out but Becky rusn her over! THe fans fire up as Becky flexes, then thigs speed up. Naomi drops, hurdles, then runs, but Becky follows. Naomi redirects her to run her over! Fans fire up as Becky goes to a corner and cools off.

Naomi and Becky reset, circle, and the fans rally behind Becky. Becky waistlocks, Naomi breaks free to switch, then they go to rpoes. O’COnner Roll, ONE and Becky has it! ONE and Naomi rolls Becky up, ONE! Naomi trips Becky, jackknife bridges, TWO as Becky bridges up! They spin around, Becky backslides, TWO! Naomi stands but Becky sweeps! Cover, ONE! Naomi sweeps and covers, ONE as Becky goes Matrix! The fans fire up again, and things keep moving! Naomi follows Becky but Becky arm-drags! Naomi arm-drags back! The two stand off and the fans cheer! Becky applauds, too, and offers a handsahke.

Naomi takes the shake, but they both go to kick! They both block and they argue about who lets go. They agree to go at the same time. They keep that clean, but then they throw forearms! Both stagger back, but Becky runs up, only for Naomi to sidestep. Becky tilt-o-whirls and goes for the arm! Naoim keeps the armbar away and rolls Becky, TWO, into the BUTTERFLY CLUTCH! Becky makes it a cover, TWO! Naoim DROPKICKS Becky down! Becky goes to a corner and fans rally up again. Naomi runs up but Becky BOOTS her! Becky runs up but Naomi blocks the buckle bump to KICK Becky! Then Naoim BUCKLE BULLDOGS!

Becky staggers away, Naoim climbs, and Naomi leaps, only for Becky to get under! Naomi handsprings up, into a DROPKICK! Becky runs up, into a BOOT! Naomi whips, Becky reverses, but Naomi goes up. Becky stops her from going over, puts her outside the ring, but Naoim KICKS Becky in the ropes! Becky elbows back, to JUMP KICK Naom into Liv’s pod! Becky brings Naomi around but Naomi stops from hitting chains. Naomi elbows Becky, then tries the same. Becky also stops that, whips Naomi, but Naoim goes up the chains! Becky grabs at Naomi but Naomi TWERK ATTACKS, then RAMS Becky into chains!

Naomi RAMS Becky in again, and again! Becky falls, the fans fire up, and Naomi twerks a bit more before the SPLIT LEG DROP! Naomi shoves Becky into the ring, covers, TWO! Becky survives but Naomi storms up on her. Becky ELBOWS Naomi, but Naomi blocks the mule kick! Naomi spins Becky, dodges her, but DOUBLE CROSSBODIES collide! Both women are down and the countdown is here! The fans duel for who they want to enter, but the Chamber chooses… Tiffany! The fans fire up for Tiffy Time, oddly, and Tiff bumps Naomi off buckles. Tiff cartwheels to get Becky, BUCKLE SLAM!

Tiff handsprings to back elbow Naomi! Then she handsprings to elbow Becky! Tiff snapmares Becky to sit her by Naomi, and she DOUBLE BASEMNT DROPKICKS! Cover on Becky, TWO! Cover on Naomi, TWO! Tiff is annoyed already but she throws forearms on Naomi. Tiff tosses Naomi aside, drags Becky up, but Becky JAWBREAKERS! Becky clinches, Tiff slips free and whips, SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Tiff is even more annoyed but she covers again, TWO! Tiff drags Becky up, SMACKS her off the mat, then pushes Becky around. Becky throws body shots! Tiff knees low, and fireman’s carries!

Becky fights free, grabs an arm, but Naomi is up top! DOUBLE CROSSBODY! Double cover, TWO!! Becky and Tiff both survive but Naomi puts them in corners. Naomi runs to SPLASH Becky! Then SPALSH Tiffy! Becky runs up to CLOBBER Naomi! Becky clinches, for a BECKSPLODER on Naomi! But Tiff DISCUS LARIATS Becky! Cover, TWO! Tiff is frustrated but she, Becky and Naomi are all down. Naomi goes to a corner while Becky and Tiff stand. Tiff fireman’s carries Becky, and uses her to SMACK Naomi! Tiff adds Naomi to the stack, but Naomi slips free! Tiff BOOTS Naomi away, ROLLING SENTONS Becky, then SMACKS Naomi!

Tiff fireman’s carries Naomi now, ROLLING SENTON right next to Becky! Tiff goes up and up, but Becky joins her! SUPER RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! But Naomi runs to DOUBLE SPLIT LEG DROP! Double cover, TWO!! These three are all down again while the other three wait their turns. Naomi KICKS Tiff, scoops and SLAMS Becky, then SPLIT LEG MOONSAULTS Becky! But Tiff stops the cover right away! Tiff POSTS Naomi, covers Becky, TWO!! Becky is tougher than that, and here comes the countdown! The Chamber chooses… LIV! She’s in her fifth Chamber match, and she goes right after Tiff with a THESZ PRESS!

Liv fires fast hands, then she tosses Tiff to the outside. Liv fires off more shots, then RAMS Tiff into Bianca’s pod! And then into the empty one! And then back into Bianca’s! And then back to the empty one! Tiff falls and Liv says it’s HER time! But Becky runs up, only for Liv to ROCK her! Liv gets around to BACKSTABBER! Liv sees Naomi coming, CODE BREAKER! Liv kips up and the fans fire up for the #ELIVinationChamber! Liv goes corner to corner, back body blocks Naomi, back body blocks Becky, repeat! SHINING WIZARD for Naomi! SHINING WIZARD for Becky! Liv goes up to FLYING CODE BREAKER Becky! Cover, TWO!!

DOUBLE STOMPS from Tiff on Liv! Cover, TWO! Liv survives, Naomi SHOTGUNS Tiff! Tiff goes to the outside, Naomi pursues. Tiff JAWBREAKERS Naomi, then cartwheels to cartwheel again, but Naomi grabs the chains! Naomi climbs again, but Tiff won’t let go! Naomi CLUBS away on Tiff, scuffs her, then Becky hurries out to CLUB Tiff into chains! Becky clinches, BECKSPLODER into chains! Tiff sputters, but Becky isn’t done! STEEL CHAIN DISARM-HER!! The fans are torn as Becky tries to tear Tiff’s arm off! Tiff fights free with her good arm, but then Liv drags Tiff into the ring! Tiff elbows free, but Liv drop toeholds her into buckles!

Tiff staggers up, Liv DOUBLE STOMPS her down! Liv then goes up and up, but Naomi’s on a pod!! SUPER BLOCKBUSTER!!! But Tiff rolls Naomi up!! TIFF ELIMINATES NAOMI!! Naomi is stunned but Tiff just smiles and says, “Sorry.” The fans are torn but the countdown is back! The Chamber chooses… Raquel! Ricky Desperado smiles as she CLOBBERS Becky, ROICKS Tiff then LARIATS! And LARIATS! Raquel scoops Tiff to spin and POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Raquel looms over Tiff, stalks her to the outside, but Becky’s up top. Becky leaps, but into Raquel’s arms! Raquel RAMS Becky into chains! And again!

Raquel RAMS Becky into chains again, then FALL AWAY SLAMS her into the ring! Raquel dusts herself off, but Tiff runs up! Raquel stops the rana to bring Tiff around, and SWING her into chains! And again! And again! Raquel dumps Tiff then goes to the ring. She and old friend Liv meet, and Liv fires forearms! Raquel picks Liv up with both hands and TOSSES her to a corner! Then SPLASHES! Then runs in, but she blocks boots to put Liv on the outside. Liv KICKS Raquel in the ropes, runs up, but Raquel blocks the Code Breaker! Raquel SLAMS Liv into chains, then suplexes her to TOSS her into the ring!

Raquel storms up on Liv, drags her back up, and hauls her up, only for Becky to CHOP BLOCK the leg! Liv CODE BREAKERS, Becky fires UPPERCUTS and a SOBAT! Tiff SHOTGUNS, Becky reels Raquel in. Liv joins her for a DOUBLE DDT! Triple cover, TWO!! Raquel still gets out of that, so Tiff, Liv and Becky brawl with each other! Becky fires off on Liv, but Tiff LARIATS Becky! Everyone is down, and the countdown is back! And we all know that Bianca is next! Tiff eggs her on, but Bianca dodges to SLAP Tiff! Bianca throws Tiff around, shoves her in a pod, and then closes the door! Bianca ROCKS Becky, then runs up to run her over!

Bianca rallies on Becky, DROPKICKS her, then scoops Liv for a GUTBUSTER! Becky is back but Bianca suplexes her! And holds her up, marches around, and then SLAMS her down! The fans fire up as Bianca kips up! Tiff is back, she pulls Bianca’s braid! Bianca whips Tiff away, then SPINEBUSTERS her in return! Bianca dusts herself off, fans are torn, but Raquel is back! Bianca is the strongEST, but Raquel is the biggest. Raquel swings, but Bianca ducks to fire off shots! Raquel shoves, Bianca ducks ‘n’ dodges, but Raquel scoops! Bianca slips free, to torture rack! Raquel fights free and BOOTS Bianca! Raquel runs up but Bianca throws her to the outside!

Raquel drags Bianca up and over to join her, then suplexes Bianca to hit the chains! But then Bianca rebounds off ropes to TORNADO DDT!! Bianca drags Raquel to a cover, TWO!! The fans fire up as Bianca waits on Raquel. Raquel stands, Bianca fireman’s carries, but Tiff runs up to ROCK Bianca! Raquel ends up on the top rope, Tiff TOSSES Bianca aside! Tiff CLUBS away on Raquel, but then Liv is up on a pod!? Tiff hurries after her, but Liv leaps to SEATED SENTON Raquel! Becky and Tiff realize they’ve both ended up on the pod together, and they brawl! Becky SMACKS Tiff off Plexiglas, but Tiff fights the clinch!

Tiff SMACKS Becky off Plexiglas, then SHOVES her down onto Raquel! Tiff takes a moment to catch her breath, and the fans fire up as she thinks about how to get down. Tiff says it’s time, and she SUPER SWANTONS onto Raquel, Becky AND Bianca!! All four women are down and the fans lose their minds! Tiff gets in the ring, “This is Awesome!” Tiff and Liv brawl, Liv shoves then dodges but Tiff scoops her! Pop-up and ROLLING SENTON! Tiff goes up and up, but Liv anchors her! Tiff kicks Liv away but Liv goes up, SUPER ObLIVion!! Cover, Liv ELIMINATES Tiff!! The fans are torn but Liv tells Tiff to #CryAboutIt.

Liv crawls to ropes, she sees Raquel and runs up. Raquel ROCKS Liv then BOOTS her! Then she BOOTS Becky! Raquel hauls Bianca up, rebounds off ropes, hits chains then POWERBOMBS Bianca into the ring! Raquel then CHOKE SLAMS Liv! Raquel goes up a corner, and TWISTING VADERS onto Liv! But Becky KICKS Raquel’s arm! DISARM-HER!! Raquel is caught, but she powers up! Becky rolls to bring her down into an ARMBAR!! Raquel clasps hands, fights around and stacks Becky, TWO! Raquel deadlifts Becky, but Becky grabs ropes! Liv runs up, but Raquel has her, too! DOUBLE TEXANAS BOMBS!!!

But Bianca torture racks Raquel! KISS OF DEATH!!! Cover, Bianca ELIMINATES Raquel! The fans fire up as we’re now down to our final three! Bianca is freshEST, but Liv’s been in the most and Becky’s the most determined. Bianca runs up to RAM Liv, runs up but Becky KNEES her! Liv waistlocks but Bianca elbows free! Bianca ROCKS Becky, chicken wings Liv, GlamEST Slam! Becky BOOTS Bianca again, then goes up, but Bianca UPPERCUTS! Bianca trophy lifts Becky to SLAM her onto Liv! They’re side by side, Bianca handsprings to MOONSAULT! Double cover, TWO!! Bianca is frustrated but she’s still the only one up.

Bianca runs at Becky, Becky dodges but then Bianca blocks the kick! Bianca torture racks Becky to HOTSHOT her, and RAM her! Becky hits chains, Liv BACKSTABBERS Bianca! Liv goes up the ropes to FLYING- NO, Bianca stops the rana to SWING Liv into chains! Bianca hauls Becky up, smacks her off chains, then does it again! Becky sputters but Bianca eggs her on. Bianca fireman’s carries, then swings at Liv. Liv ducks the KICK, KICK and that sends Becky and Bianca into chains! Liv ENZIGIRIS Bianca down, the fans rally up, and Liv gets around Bianca to motorcycle stretch and BOOT Bianca into the pod!

All three women are down but the fans rally back up. Liv storms after Becky but Becky sends her into chains! And again and again and again! Becky then dragon sleepers Liv, kicks Bianca, and she DOUBLE DDTS! Becky puts Bianca in the ring, goes up a corner, and Becky climbs, only for Bianca to ROCK her first! Bianca ROCKET LAUNCHES Becky! Becky goes to another corner, Bianca RAMS her! Bianca goes up and rains down fists! The fans count along, but Liv stops this at nine! Liv pulls but Bianca holds on. Bianca kicks Liv away but Liv CLUBS away on Bianca’s buns and thigh! Liv then springboards to SUNSET POWERBOMB!! Cover, TWO!!!

Bianca survives but Becky’s up top! Becky aims, MISSILE DROPKICK to Liv! Cover, TWO!! Becky is frustrated but she focuses on game-planning. Becky goes up but Liv trips her up! Liv ROCKS Becky but Becky hits back! They brawl as Liv climbs, and Liv CLUBS away on Becky’s back. Liv brings Becky up for a SUPERPLEX! Bianca is up top! 450 SPLASH onto knees!! Becky saves herself in time and all three women are down again! The fans rally up and Bianca is after Becky. Liv runs up but Bianca ducks the enzigiri! Torture rack, KISS OF- JAWBREAKER!! Liv counters in time, but Bianca tumbles to ropes. Liv aims, but Becky runs up!

MANHANDLE- CODE BREAKER from Liv! Liv still wants someone, but Becky dumps her out of the ring! Bianca runs up, Becky clinches, but Bianca uses the corner to flip up and out of the Manhandle Slam! Bianca then torture racks Becky, KISS OF- NO, Becky lands out, and Liv rolls Bianca up! LIV ELIMINATES BIANCA!! MANHANDLE SLAM for Liv!!! Cover, Becky wins!!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the Women’s World Championship)

Bianca and Liv cannot believe it, but The Man runs the gauntlet! WrestleMania 40 is about to enter the Big Time, but who will be the Women’s World Champion after tonight?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: Finn Balor & Damian Priest w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Tyler Bate & Pete Dunne!

The Judgment Day has dominated up and down the card, beating teams like Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn, Cody Rhodes & Jey Uso, and most recently #DIY. Will they add the Big Strong Boi & Bruiserweight to that list? Or will the New Catch Republic become the new tag team champions?

The introductions are made, but Dom takes the mic so he can handle the Judgment Day’s introduction. The fans boo the entire time so it’s hard to hear him mention Damian Priest is Mr. Money in the Bank. “ALL RISE for The Judgment Day!” Finn & Priest hold up the belts, but they miss Bate & Dunne CLOBBERING Dom! Dunne then DUMPS Priest out, Bate DROPKICKS Finn, and Dunne ASAI MOONSAULTS Priest! The belt rings, Bate runs to UPPERCUT Finn! EXPLODER! And kip up, to STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Finn kicks Bate, bumps him off buckles then fires off hands!

Finn snapmares Bate, CLUBS him, then paces around. The fans rally as Finn trips Bate, but Bate reaches up, crosses his legs and he brings Finn along to go up the corner! Tag to Dunne before the RANA, then Dunne CLOBBERS Finn! The fans fire up as Dunne grabs an arm, to double knee drop the elbow! Dunne grabs the other arm to twist the wrist and bend the elbow, to then stomp Finn’s ribs! Finn endures as Dunne bends the arm again, isolates it, and stomps it! Finn writhes but Dunne tags Bate. Dunne sets up, Bate hits the KNEE-BOARD SENTON! Cover, TWO! Bate headlocks but Finn endures.

The fans rally, Finn fights up, but Bate smacks him with his boot. Finn powers out, Priest tags in, and Finn drops for Priest to DECK Bate! The fans boo but Priest kicks and kicks and ROCKS Bate! Bate sits back, the fans tell Dom he’s a wanker. Priest suplexes to BROKEN ARROW Bate! Cover, TWO! Bate stays in this but Priest stays on him. Priest tags Finn, they mug Bate, and then Finn CLUBS Bate in the back. Finn clamps on a chinlock, sits Bate down, then he ELBOWS Bate. Finn has the headlock and he grinds Bate in an almost Bully Choke. Bate endures, the fans rally, and Bate fights up. Bate stands but Finn jumps on as a backpack!

Bate stays standing and the fans fire up! Bate RAMS Finn into buckles and is free! Bate reaches out but Finn clamps back on. Finn is again a backpack, but Bate still stays on his feet. Bate RAMS Finn, but into Judgment Day territory! Priest tags in and throws Bate down by his hair! The ref reprimands but Priest stands Bate up. Priest TOSSES Bate to a corner, then ROCKS him! And ROCKS him again! Priest stomps away, the ref counts, and Priest lets off at 4. The fans boo but Priest soaks up the heat. Dom smiles as Priest CHOKES Bate on ropes, but Priest lets off at 4. Priest argues with the ref, and Dom gets a cheap shot in!

The fans boo more but Dom taunts them and commentary. Dunne storms up but Priest DECKS him! Priest runs up to BACK ELBOW Bate! Priest snapmares Bate, tags Finn, and Finn slingshot STOMPS! Finn scoops Bate, BACKBREAKER! Priest runs to add a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Dunne runs up but Priest TOSSES him back out! Priest stalks Bate, tags Finn, and they have Bate in the corner. Finn flexes, runs up, but Bate dodges! But there’s no Dunne to tag! Finn CHOPS Bate, whips him back in, but Bate BLASTS Priest! Bate BOOTS Finn, goes up, and FLYING UPPERCUTS! Both men are down and the fans fire up!

Dunne rises, he reaches out, and Bate gives him the hot tag! The fans fire up as Dunne ENZIGIRIS Finn, GAMANGIRIS Priest, then GAMANGIRIS Finn! ENZIGIRI! Dunne keeps going, LEG LARIAT! Finn flops out of the ring, Dom freaks out as Dunne goes up and out and up again, to ASAI MOONSAULT Finn & Priest! The fans fire up and Dunne hurries to get Finn back in. Dunne STOMPS Finn’s hands! And STOMPS them again! Finn ducks the buzzsaw, shoves Dunne away, but Dunne CHOPS Finn! Tag to Bate, then Dunne gets around Finn! REBOUND LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO!! Cover, TWO!!

Finn survives but Bate keeps on him. Dom is worried as Bate UPPERCUTS Finn! And UPPERCUTS again! And again! But Finn tripos Bate to STOMP him down! Tag to Priest, Priest runs at Bate in a corner. Bate dodges and the splash gets buckles! Bate fireman’s carries Priest but Priest slips free, BELL CLAP! ROUNDHOUSE! Then a ROUNDHOUSE for Dunne! Priest hammerlocks and LARIATS Bate! Cover, TWO! Bate survives and Priest is annoyed, but he talks trash. This is what you get for stepping into Judgment Day’s world! Bate URAKENS Priest! Finn tags in, Bate dodges Priest but Finn KICKS low!

Priest and Finn combine, SIDEWALK SLAM REVERSE DDT COMBO! Cover, TWO!! Bate survives and Finn snarls while the fans rally up. Finn stomps away on Bate at the ropes! The ref counts but Finn stops at 4. Bate rises, Finn runs up, but into a DEEP BLUE THUNDER! Priest runs in, Bate sends him into Dunne’s GAMANGIRI! Bate then fireman’s carries, for the AIRPLANE SPIN! The fans fire up as Bate goes around and around and around, and around, and around! That’s at least TWENTY rotations by now, but Bate is still going! SPINNING SLAM!! Priest and Bate are both dizzy, but Bate manages the tag to Dunne!

Dunne & Bate give Finn TOP BINS! Then Bate DIVES to take out Priest! Dunne has Finn, BITTER END!!! Cover, DOM gives Finn the ropebreak!! The fans boo but Dom gets away with one! At least, mostly because Bate knows! Bate tells the ref about it, so the ref EJECTS Dom!! The fans fire up but Dom throws a fit! Extra refs come out to usher Dom away and fans say, “Hey hey hey! Goodbye~!” Dom is defiant, though, so Bate CLOBBERS him! But then Finn RAMS Dunne into Bate and rolls Dunne up, TWO!! Dunne escapes, but Finn SLINGBLADES! Finn fires up, aims from the corner, and SHOTGUNS Dunne into buckles!

Dunne falls into a drop zone and Finn hurries up top! COUP DE- NO, Dunne dodges! Dunne grabs the arm, to SNAP the fingers!! Finn writhes, Dunne tags Bate! New Catch Republic gets Finn up, DOUBLE TYLER DRIVER!!! Cover, PRIEST yanks Bate out! At least that was more legal than Dom’s move! “This is Awesome!” as Dunne stands on Priest’s fingers! Then STOMPS them! Dunne leaps outside, but Priest catches him, APRON FLATLINER! Priest tosses Bate but Bate rebounds to LARIAT Priest! Bate hurries back in, ducks ‘n’ dodges, COMEBACK- NO, Finn catches Bate for BLOODY SUNDAY!! Cover, TWO!!

Bate survives and Finn is seething! Finn says time to end this! Tag to Priest, and Priest brings down the straps. Priest soaks up the heat before he hauls Bate up. Finn goes up, Priest lifts Bate, but Bate RANAS out of Razor’s Edge! Priest tumbles into Finn! Finn falls, Bate rolls Priest up! TWO!!! Priest escapes, but Bate tags Dunne! They DOUBLE STOMP Priest’s hands! BUZZSAW! BUZZSAW! But Priest catches both men! DOUBLE SOUTH OF- NO, they both flip free! Double Bops up, DOUBLE BANG!! Then double torture racks?! Shoutout to Mustache Mountain! DOUBLE BIRMINGHAMMER!!! Cover, TWO?!?!?!

Priest survives and somewhere, Trent Seven is disappointed! The fans are still thunderous, and Dunne tags Bate. They get Priest with furious fists from all sides! The ref reprimands, Dunne lets off but Bate keeps going. Bate fires up, runs side to side and tags Dunne, GAMANGIRI! GAMANGIRI! Then DOUBLE GAMANGIRI!! Dunne roars, he hauls Priest up and Bate joins in. They both climb up to bring Priest up, but Finn anchors Priest’s foot! Priest then grabs each man, Finn tags in before DOUBLE SOUTH OF HEAVEN SLAMS!! Finn goes up, COUP DE GRACE on Dunne!! Judgment Day wins!!

Winners: The Judgment Day, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions)

New Catch Republic came as close as any team has in taking these titles away from Finn & Priest, but they just couldn’t get past the numbers game! Will even WrestleMania 40 meet its Judgment Day?

 

Austin Theory is here?

“The 150 Million Hit Man” is in the ring on the set of the Grayson Waller Effect and he welcomes us to Austin Theory Live. The fans boo but Theory says, “G’day, mate!” He wants to talk to Australia about vegemite. It’s DISGUSTING! But that’s just a snack here, right? So then he had a real Australian meal. He had himself a Blooming Onion from Outback Steakhouse! Oh, they don’t like that? Well alright. Then he’ll introduce to us the Moment Maker, the Aussie Icon, Australia’s own, his boy, Grayson Waller! The fans cheer Waller as he makes his entrance, and he sees UFC fighter, Tai Tuivasa, in the crowd.

Waller walks up, they shake hands, and they both get the golden shoes for the Shoey! The fans cheer as Tai chugs it all down, then Waller joins Theory in the ring. Waller takes the mic to welcome us to the Grayson Waller Effect. The fans cheer, and Waller says this might be the greatest day of his life! And he wants us to do one thing before the greatest GWE of all time. “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” “OI OI OI!” “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” “OI OI OI!” “Aussie!” “Oi!” “Aussie!” “Oi!” “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” “OI OI OI!” The fans cheer and Waller says time to get to it. The biggest story in sports entertainment involve his two guests tonight.

First, the World Heavyweight Champion, Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins! The fans cheer and sing along as the Visionary makes his entrance, wearing a suit that is purposefully baggy, and also has cords on it. Rollins revels in the singing, which bores Theory, but then Rollins takes a bow. Waller says his second guest is the winner of the 2024 Royal Rumble, “the man who can thank the ineffectiveness of the American education system for not being able to finish a story,” The American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Cody makes his entrance in a normal suit, and now fans sing with Cody’s song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets an extra big pyro as he gets in the ring!

Cody and Rollins sit with Waller while the fans chant for Cody. Cody asks Perth, “What do we wanna talk about?” Waller says hold on, this is his show. What HE wants to talk about is to acknowledge their Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. The Tribal Chief appreciates that. But Rollins, Waller doesn’t care about who wins the Chamber, he wants to know who Rollins wants to face. Oh, well, the Chamber is stacked, who knows who wins, but he has a scoop. Oh? Here we go! Yeah, Rollins has an inside track, some secret info. Does Perth wanna know a secret? “YES!” Alright, then. Rollins… is just days away from being medically cleared to compete!

The fans like the sound of that! Rollins says whoever wins the Chamber will get a crack at Rollins’ World Heavyweight Champion. And newsflash: they don’t stand a chance. Because it’s WrestleMania 40, the biggest Mania of all time! The world is gonna sing Rollins’ song, “WHOA~ OHH~ OHHH~!” and Rollins will do what only Rollins can, put on a show like nobody else! Because he is a Visionary, he is a Revolutionary, he is SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS! Big pop. Rollins sits back down and Waller says cool story, bro.

Now, Cody, we had the opportunity to have the biggest Mania main event of all time: Roman Reigns VS The Rock. The fans boo and Rollins sticks out his tongue. Waller asks if Cody was being selfish taking that away from the fans. The fans chant “Rocky Sucks! Rocky Sucks!” Cody doesn’t want it twisted, he is a fan of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. And if The Rock were here, The Rock would probably call Cody a candy ass, prattle on about rooty poo, insult Cody. What is it he calls Cody’s fans again? Waller knows, it’s Cody Crybabies. Theory claps and Cody says yes, Cody Crybabies.

But Cody wants to ask Perth: Are there any Cody Crybabies in here tonight? The fans cheer and Cody wants to double check, the pyro got to his hearing. Are there any Cody Crybabies in here tonight? The fans cheer even louder! Rollins says yes, seems there are. The fans chant for Cody again, and Cody says one thing The Rock wouldn’t wanna talk about is the conversation that led them to this point, why Cody was going to step away from that WrestleMania main event just to step right back in. Waller says hold on, he’s talking about The People’s Champion! Cody does what he’s told. Oh, People’s Champion?

That is a grand and lofty title, one you can’t self-appoint. Maybe at one point, The Rock was The People’s Champ. But to Cody, to be the People’s Champ, you have to actually be around the people! The fans cheer that, and Cody says that while Seth had an announcement, here’s one from Cody. Cody tells The Rock that he indeed slapped Cody across the face. And at WrestleMania 40, Cody faces Roman in the main event. But until then, the card is wide open! So let’s make it official! Cody wants The Rock 1v1, any time, any place!! The fans fire up for that and Rollins stands up to stand with Cody. Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!”

Rollins tells Cody and Perth, let’s cut the head off the snake once and for all! Rollins admires that challenge, but when it comes to The Bloodline, we all know that there is no such thing as 1v1. So if and when The Rock decides to take Cody up on this challenge, just know that Cody won’t be fighting that battle alone. Waller says there you have it! Another scoop on the Grayson Waller Effect, the greatest talk show in WWE! Theory says hold on there. Cody thinks he’s gonna face The Rock? Is that what you think? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Rollins laughs at Theory’s pretty decent Rock imitation.

Yeah, it was good, but here’s more. Finally…! Austin Theory has come to Perth, Australia, to finish his story. Rollins laughs more and says this is good. But hey, does he have the big one? Y’know, the one. Jacket off, show ’em what it’s all about. Theory takes his jacket off, “IF YA SMELLLLL-” Rollins THROWS Theory into the Waller sign! CODY CUTTER! Waller is stunned as Theory is down and out! Waller says okay, fine, and he backs off. Rollins lines up the shot, to CURB STOMP Theory! The Visionary and the American Nightmare show they make a powerful combo, will they be just what the WWE Universe needs to finally The Bloodline’s tyranny?

 

World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber Match: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre VS LA Knight VS Bobby Lashley VS Kevin Owens VS Logan Paul!

As the Visionary just said, he is 100% and ready for whoever comes out of this match! The Viper, the Scottish Terminator, the Mega Star, the All Mighty, the Prizefighter and the Maverick are just as ready, but who proves they are worthy by making it through the Chamber?

 


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Andrew’s TNA No Surrender Results & Match Ratings: 2.23.2024

lex Shelley gets his contractual rematch against Moose for the World Title, Gisele Shaw cashed in her Ultimate X for the Knockout’s title shot and the best of 3 comes down to a decisive match between The ABC and Grizzled Young Vets!

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We’ve got ourselves an exclusive TNA+ App Event tonight! Alex Shelley gets his contractual rematch against Moose for the World Title, Gisele Shaw cashed in her Ultimate X for the Knockout’s title shot and the best of 3 comes down to a decisive match between The ABC and Grizzled Young Vets.

There are a few other matches worth some note, but let’s just get to predictions and then the show:

  1. Speedball Mountain (Mike Bailey & Trent Seven) vs The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz) : I see Speedball Mountain winning here purely because its their first official tag match on TNA programming since the Hard to Kill PPV got shifted because of travel issues.
  2. The System (Brian Myers & Eddie Edwards) vs Intergalactic Jet Setters (Kushida & Kevin Knight) : I see The System continuing to establish the faction as a solid force; a little too early for glitches in The System.
  3. X Division Championship: Chris Sabin (c) vs Mustafa Ali : Mustafa winning makes a lot of sense here to me with the fact that he hasn’t been in a TNA ring yet and Sabin holding the title doesn’t really do as much as Mustafa winning. I expect The Good Hands to play a part.
  4. Knockouts Tag Championship: Decay (Rosemary & Havok) (c) vs MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly) : The Knockouts Tags are so irrelevant I don’t really care. I would like MK Ultra to win just because they seem like a more reasonable target for potential tag team threats as opposed to the magical netherworld bullshit of Decay.
  5. Frankie Kazarian vs Eric Young : EY makes the most sense for me here. Kaz is a heel, he can absorb the loss and turn it into maybe joining the system or finding other ways to screw EY down the line to continue the feud.
  6. PCO vs Kon : Another match I don’t care about. I’m gonna say PCO wins only because Kon doesn’t have nearly as much value to me. He’s not imposing, has no real momentum and putting him over PCO lines him up for…what? Ya…nothing, exactly.
  7. Tag Team Title Match: ABC vs GYV : I’ve got the Grizzled Young Vets going over because I feel like pushing an eventual GYV vs Speedball Mountain match is in the tea leaves for 3/4 nostalgia.
  8. Josh Alexander vs Simon Gotch : I think Gotch wins here. Josh needs some time away from the main event scene to build up his hunger. So potential shenanigans happen, but I don’t really know what Josh winning would do for anything aside from vaulting him to a main event scene that people would be more excited to see Nemeth in.
  9. Knockouts Title Match: Gisele Shaw vs Jordynne Grace (c) : I think Jordynne retains because the SHAWntorague is an unresolved albatros that will cost Gisele the match and be a fun way to keep the fire burning for a potential Gail Kim match.
  10. No Surrender Match, TNA World Championship: Moose (c) vs Alex Shelley : Like I said before, I expect The System to continue establishing themselves with this show and no glitches just yet.

So let’s see how many I get right!

Ratings:

  • Eric Young vs Frankie Kazarian: EY wins via Crucifix Pinfall – ***
  • Tag Team Title Match: ABC (c) vs GYV : ABC retains via 1-2-Sweet – *** 1/2
  • Kon vs PCO: PCO wins via DQ – * 1/2
  • Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Decay (Havok & Rosemary) (c) vs MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly): MK Ultra wins via Russian Death Device – ** 1/2 – TITLE CHANGE!!
  • Josh Alexander vs Simon Gotch: Josh wins via C4 Spike – *** 3/4
  • No Surrender Match: TNA World Championship: Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers (c) vs Alex Shelley w/Kushida & Kevin Knight: Moose retains – ** 3/4
  • Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Gisele Shaw: Jordynne retains via Juggernaut Driver – ****
  • X Division Championship: Chris Sabin (c) vs Mustafa Ali: Ali wins via 450 Splash – **** 1/4

 

Results:

I don’t usually cover pre-show stuff so I’ll say here, Speedball Mountain lost, because Maclin made his presence felt to help get the Rascalz the win. The System is working though, so I got that match right at least. So I’m 1-1 out of the pre-show. 

Eric Young vs Frankie Kazarian

The tie ups are close, aggressive for positioning but nothing crazy, EY with a Jaw Jacker, but Kaz cuts off a rope run with a big Body Block. After a slap in the face, EY returns the favor and returns the slap. So Kaz Kitchen Sinks EY, talks crap, EY Kitch Sinks Kaz. This is very simply an “anything you can I do I can do better” style of open. EY tries to toss Kaz to the corner and pull him out, but Kaz pops to his feet and Back Body Drops EY, transitions into the Side Russian Leg sweep and its a near fall.

Frankie goes for a simple Vertical Suplex and then a cover, which is a little silly. Kaz keeps lording over EY, deliberate strikes, slow building offense, and EY tries to get something going with a Knee Lift, but Kaz Scoop Slams him after and goes for his Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop…but misses! EY fires back with a few lariats! They fight to the top, Kaz wants the Flux Capacitor, but EY clocks him, drops him and goes for the Macho Man Elbow…for 2. Corner charge leads to Kaz countering EY as he slips to the apron, EY tries to duck his head through and catches the Leg Drop for a near fall. EY gets whipped to the corner, does the Flair Flop over the buckle, Kaz quickly Slingshots EY in and lands the Cutter for another 2!

After a few moments to collect himself Kaz goes for Fade to Black, EY counters with a Piledriver attempt, but a little countering and slipping but Kaz manages to get him in another Fade to Black…and connects! 1-2-kickout?!? Kaz argues with the ref, EY takes advantage of the distracted Kaz, and Crucifix Pin for the win!

Tag Team Championships: The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) (c) vs Grizzled Young Vets (James Drake & Zack Gibson)

ABC doesn’t come out to the classic Bullet Club music. So I guess Anthem didn’t feel like paying for the rights anymore? So they deserve to lose, music sucks now, GYV forever.

Ace and Zack start and Ace is just angry, stomping away on Gibson in the corner. Ace almost doesn’t listen to the referee, but eventually does, Drake makes a blind tag, Baseball Slide trip to Ace, Sliding Kick to the Face and then Poetry in Motion from the GYV connects flush with Bey and he flies off the corner apron. The two on one continues for a minute, before Ace can flip out of a tandem move, fall back into his corner and get some of their own tandem offense going. Assisted Russian Leg Sweep into the Click Click Boom for 2.

Shortcuts allow the GYV to stifle the onslaught, and Gibson does the ole Launcher into the bottom rope followed by stepping on his neck. Classic heel tactics, Outside In Vertical Suplex, Drake tags in, Gibson hangs Bey on the ropes and Drake brings down the Polish Hammer from the corner. Drake sits on Bey with the Front Neck Lock applied, Bey gets to the ropes, tries to get around things with a Sunset Flip but Drake counters that with a simple punch to the throat. Drake traps him in their corner and tags in Gibson. The verbal assault is more effective than the simple offense, but it also seems to fire Bey a little. Quick strikes, and then a reach to Ace, but Gibson pulls him close and lays into the Sleeper Hold.

Bey does the reach spot again, but this time when Gibson pulls him close, Bey slips behind him and hits the School Boy for a 2 and then snaps off a Neckbreaker. Gibson makes a quicker tag so Drake tries to keep Bey isolated, but Bey slips it, dives towards Ace and Hot Tag from Ace. Slingshot Double Dropkick evens the situation, Fosbury Flop onto Gibson on the outside, runs back in and lands a nice kick combination on Drake into his own solo version of Click Click Boom, but Gibson saves the pinfall. Gibson gets dispatched Twisting Moonsault combo for only 2! 1-2-SW-NO Drake grabs Bey with the Body Scissors and Sleeper Hold while Gibson slides in and Shankly Gates gets applied to Ace. GYV try to fire, Ace tries to do his one handed counter to turn things back for them, but Gibson just grabs him and DOOMSDAY DEVICE on the outside!

GYV point at Bey, Bey fires and meets them head on. Bey throws Gibson into Drake and clocks Gibson but Drake tries to grab him and Bey counters it into a Suplex of his own. Springboard FameAsser levels Gibson. Art of Finesse attempt but Gibson counters, Bey goes to the top, Lung Blower from Gibson and he holds him there while Drake hits a Coast to Coast Dropkick…but BEY kicks out! GYV look for something to put away Bey, but Ace is stirring, drops Drake, and they use the GYV scarf as pay back while the referee is focused on Drake. 1-2-SWEET and ABC retain.

Their new music still sucks. 

Kon vs PCO

Kon attacks PCO on the ramp during his entrance and PCO is amenable to the brawl. PCO does go into the ring, so the match officially starts, and its just Heymakers, Clotheslines and slamming faces into the corners. They trade dropping each other and standing back up. PCO throws Kon out, PCO went for the Dive and Kon side steps and connects with a clubbing blow on PCO’s way down. Chokeslam onto the apron, but PC-NO Sell, and attacks Kon. PCO bounces Kon’s face off the apron, they both head back in just to have PCO Lariat them both back to the outside.

PCO posts Kon, drapes him and looks for the Deanimator…and he…MISSES! Kon slides back in and PCO clips the apron. Kon grabs a chair, and hits PCO causing a DQ?

The DQ finish is stupid, I guess it’s gonna lead to another match at Sacrifice. Kon buries PCO under chairs, throws the ring bell guy around, but PCO bursts out of the chairs and attacks. PCO finally gets the best of the Goozle Face off, pushes Kon over the ropes, dives onto him and then lays into him with a chair.

All the extra attacks are just stupid, Kon even Zip Ties PCO to the Entrance Tunnel and goes for the neck snap spot with a chair wrapped around which makes no real sense. This was a bad finish and then just got progressively more stupid. 

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Decay (Havok & Rosemary) (c) vs MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly)

Donnybrook to kick things off, just an all out brawl, Havok pulls Masha into the ring and I guess that makes them legal. Masha gets sandwiched in the corner, Exploder Suplex from Rosemary. Masha manages to take advantage of a small opening, Kelly gets involved and we get some quick and sadistic offense with Kelly doing some…fun…pin covers. Kelly slaps the taste out of Rosemary’s mouth, but Rosemary just slowly stands up, kinda likes it and ducks the last one to hit a Rainmaker.

Rosemary mounts Kelly, Kelly sits up to get on top of Rosemary, Rosemary returns the favor and they start throwing fists. Masha runs in, talks sense into Kelly and a High/Low style tandem move gives MK Ultra the advantage again. Strike exchange, into a Spinning Back Fist, a few Sambo kicks and Masha looks for the Russian Death Device, but Rosemary slips it into an X-Factor. Simultaneous tags as Masha is resting in the corner, Havok uses her size advantage, throws Kelly into Masha and then a corner Senton kills them both. Assisted Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Masha breaks it up! Masha takes out Havok, catches Rosemary mid Spear and hits the Russian Death Device! Our BDSM Feme Fatal Fever Dream wins!

Josh Alexander vs Simon Gotch

Classic chain wrestling style of opening. Josh has a Headlock cinched in, Gotch counters with the Headscissors and tries to find a wrist lock, and they trade similar style counters and mat based maneuvers. Josh gets a near scare of going from the Armbar to an attempt for the early Ankle Lock, but Gotch immediately finds the ropes.

After taking a beat, an old school test of strength into a Headbutt from Gotch and a response from Josh, then they trade Uppercuts. So we get another match that opens with that “anything you can do I can do better” concept. Josh drops Gotch, plays to the crowd a little and then eats a few kicks to the face. Gotch looks for a few Armbars, and when Josh protects the one side, Gotch tries the other. But Josh manages to fight out of that, and hits the Kurt Angle locomotion German Suplexes. After 3 he holds for a 4th, but Gotch grabs the ropes to force a break and then connects with a big front kick to take control again. A few down strikes, Senton, and Gotch takes a beat to collect himself so Josh tries to roll him up, and Gotch kicks out.

Gotch’s offense is consistent but deliberate. Knee Strikes, Front Kicks, Bootwashes, Uppercuts with Chops after…just really calculated attacked. Josh does fire out of the corner with a Dropkick, but he charges and Gotch tosses him over, Slap and Enzuigiri have Josh crumple on the apron. Gotch looks for a Brainbuster, Josh blocks, strike exchange on the apron, kick drops Gotch, Gotch kicks Josh’s foot out from under him. Gotch tries a Senton on the apron but misses! Gotch sells slowly on the apron so Josh gets his spot for the Low Crossbody through the ropes. Both are wiped out on the floor, but get in at 9. Crawl to the middle and Subury blueberry bulldogs hockey fight time! Okay no of course not, we have to do the played out Fighting Spirit spot, how silly of me. Does it look good? Sure, but its becoming stupid that every match has to have one of these.

T-Bone Suplex from Josh for 2! Straps down, C4- nope, Front Kick counter, Gotch Style Piledriver, nope, both roll through and Bulldog Choke with Josh’s headgear! Because of the headgear, Gotch’s grip slips so Josh turns it into the Ankle Lock, roll off it, strikes, Powerbreaker from Josh into the C4 Spike for the win.

No Surrender Match: TNA World Championship: Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers (c) vs Alex Shelley w/Kushida & Kevin Knight

Shelley starts off aggressive, jamming Moose into the turnbuckles twice, focusing on the left shoulder, which is the side he’s focused on the last month or so. Announce team also points out the announcement that the two teams have different color towels. So that just lines up for the heels to cheat by throwing in the babyface towel since color is all that matters.

While I’m being annoyed at how brain damaged the gimmicks in the match has become, Moose gets tossed out “tweaks” his knee, but manages to power through to Powerbomb Shelley into the apron and then Bow and Arrow him around the post. Shelley goes for the Chop Block on the tweaked knee, then pulls out a chair and plays a little La Parka. Shelley and Moose trade torture spots. Shelley traps Moose’s hand in the buckle chains and uses pliers to squeeze. Moose gets out of it, traps Shelley’s hand twice and cracks him with a chair. Shelley sells the pain into the ring, Moose follows but Shelley hits the Dragon Screw on the tweaked left knee. Shelley then ties up Moose in corner, Dragon Screws, Hamstring kicks, and then Shelley gets a Kendo Stick.

Left knee is the target, and Shelley gets a little sadistic. Cracks the stick into the knee, Kendo Stick assisted Half Crab on the bad leg. Myers distracts Shelley and Eddie grabs the Kendo Stick away. Because it wasn’t direct contact it’s legal, Moose catches Shelley with the Uranage and demands Eddie give him a trash can. Upside Down Trash Can, Moose wants the Superplex, Shelley fights off, bites Moose and slips between the legs and Avalanche Powerbomb into the point of the trash can. Shelley gives a few moments to see if the towel will get thrown, but then goes for the Figure Four. Moose turns it around, but Shelley turns that over. Moose gets handed the Kendo Stick and Moose uses it to break the Figure Four. Moose demands the System get the table and they do so.

Moose tries to Spear Shelley into the table, Shelley dodges and Moose stops himself. Low Blow, Border City Stretch and Moose sells towards the ropes, Myers sees Moose’s extended fingers and slips on Brass Knuckles so Moose can break the hold. Moose ditches the knucks, goes for the Spear into the table again and MISSES! Shelley calls for a chain, Shelley uses the chain for the Border City Stretch, but then all the seconds get involved. Lish tries to take the white towel from Kushida, Shelley grabs it back and hands it to Kushida. Back to Back Lights Out, then Moose wraps the chain around himself and connects with a third Lights Out. Kushida is torn watching, and decides to throw in the towel as Moose lines up the fourth Lights Out.

Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Gisele Shaw

Ash by Elegance comes down to ringside to watch. So will Ash be the one to screw Gisele since their gimmicks are a touch similar?

Gisele tries to powder early and force Jordynne to chase, but she gets caught, bullied a little early and Gisele’s striking gives her a brief moment of offense. Jordynne returns the striking and mobility with some rope maneuvers and a nice tilt-a-whirl side slam for an early pinfall attempt. Jordynne tries to keep the offense going, but Gisele gets a sneaky kick in the way, a Headscissors Driver, and a Corkscrew Splash for 2. The fight out to the apron, Shaw slips Jordynne’s move, tries the Powerbomb, but Jordynne blocks, clocks her, Senton’s Gisele’s face into the apron and starts riding the momentum.

Jordynne looks for the Juggernaut Driver on the apron, Shaw counters with elbows, Spanish Fly from the apron to the floor! Gisele goes for three straight pinfall attempts but Jordynne keeps kicking out. Gisele looks for the Denouement, Jordynne catches it, Spinebuster for 2! Juggernaut Driver attempt 2, Shaw finds the ropes, Shaw Trigger into a Pinfall but Grace grabs the bottom rope. Gisele is slowly snapping as Jordynne is resilient. Quick strikes, both fire and clock the other with Spinning Backfists and Kicks, Gisele goes for a Springboard Cutter, but Jordynne lands on her hands to block. Quick back and forth continues, but the third attempt at the Juggernaut Driver lands! Jordynne retains!

X Division Championship: Chris Sabin (c) vs Mustafa Ali

Simple collar and elbow tie up that runs into the corner break. Nothing fancy, very deliberate. We go into Arm Wringer trade offs chain wrestling before Ali hits a back Elbow to the eye and a headlock to the ground to slow things down. Rope run misses and that stupid Stereo Dropkick spot. At least its out of the way early and I haven’t seen it in a hot minute. Still hate it, but its less annoying I suppose.

Sabin with a Headlock Takeover and then some ground wrestling, a Trailer Hitch, leg pick, pinfall attempt but Ali slides up and dusts his boots off in an arrogant play. Sabin clocks him with a Lariat, but Ali keeps powdering and using classic heel psychology to piss off Sabin. A Headscissors Takedown on the apron is a touch scuffed, but it does enough and everyone is safe. Throws Ali back in, Crossbody from Sabin connects and we see a 2 count. Fighting the corner, the battle up the buckles, Ali gets the best of things and then 450 Splash on the left arm of Sabin as he’s reaching to get back up. Ali STF into a Crippler Crossface and then a Border City Stretch. Ali talks some smack, pins the left arm and then stomps right on the left shoulder. Sabin with a quick fire, both men trade desperation kicks and are laid out.

Getting to his feet first, Sabin fires and connects with a few short Elbows and Lariats, Sole Butt, Ali tries to counter a few things, Sabin shakes off the counters and lands a Tornado DDT from the Middle Rope. Two Roll Up attempts from Sabin, Ali kicks but Sabin floats over into a Crossface. Sabin with a bunch of punches, then tries to climb the buckles and Ali catches him with an Upkick. They fight for the top rope, Sabin shoves Ali off and Ali Backflips and lands on his feet, Dropkick on the flying Sabin connects beautifully. Back in the ring, 450 Splash attempt misses, Ali charges at Sabin but he just does the old ole and Ali’s face bounces off the turnbuckle like he things he’s Bret Hart.

A few strikes exchanged from both, but Ali chops into the throat of Sabin, Sabin keep fighting, Ali tries an Enzuigiri from the outside but Sabin connects with a Rope Assist Gamengiri. Sabin dives, takes out the security, Good Hands show up to give Ali a small opening but it doesn’t lead to anything. Skyler hits the apron to distract and is leveled, Hotch is clocked, Ali School Boy for 2! Clothesline From Hell, Michigan into the Cradle Shock- BUT ALI KICKS OUT! Sabin connects a few stomps, kick to Ali’s face and then crotches him on the top rope. Sabin looking for an Avalanche Cradle Shock…but elbows counter! Sabin eats a Sunset Bomb! Ali pulls himself up and 450 Splash for the win!

 

Overall Score: 7.25/10

Well 7-3 in predictions isn’t too bad if I do say so myself. If it’s good enough for Tom Brady, it’s good enough for me. But honestly, this show was a little weird. Having the World Heavyweight title so low…feels insanely disrespectful; the match was so convoluted even Jade had trouble explaining the rules, and using different color towels is just dumb and sets up very easy shenanigans (even though they weren’t used). Hell the fact that it was right there for someone like Myers forcing Kushida to throw in the towel, or bringing a backup white towel and being super heels would’ve at least made the finish fall less flat. But stupid match concept, worse execution, too many cooks in the kitchen. It could’ve been decent if there were so many caveats to idiocy in the match. The Knockouts and X Division were great matches though. Knockouts reminded me of a combination of Stardom High Speed and old 90s AJW wrestling. Fast, dirty, hard hitting, very brutal. X Division was fun, nice to see some new blood in the title scene and while the look of the security guards was a bit laughable, enough of the match hit the right notes to make me happy.

Kon and PCO shouldn’t be lengthened, especially with that moronic ending…but I suppose they need some undercard stupidity for Sacrifice. Really not sure how Kushida will validate his actions, Ash potentially teaming with or facing Gisele could be interesting. So while most of the matches were pretty good, the awkward pot holes were deep and irritating. Kon’s match being a waste of time and the No Surrender being convoluted beyond reason and then not even using the convolution in the finish of the match. The whole set up was like reading a story that was started by one writer, and then finished by another, in a different genre, translated into a different language.

High points were still worth the watch, but some stories need weird explanations and the bad matches are definitely awful beyond true description.


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