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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (5/15/21)

Will the Lost Woods bear fruit?



HPW Lost Woods

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 15

An HPW Trios Gauntlet will determine who become the first challengers to newly crowned champions, the UnderWorld Order! But will these teams end up lost in the woods?


  • HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS King Bulblin; Lynel wins and retains the title.
  • Igos du Ikana & Captain Keeta VS Osphala & Rosso; Igos & Keeta win.
  • HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Fatal 4 Way: Midna VS Cia w/ The Dark Forces VS Nabooru VS Oaky Treetoh; Treetoh wins and will challenge Zelda for the title in June.
  • HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Hilda w/ Yuga & Ravio; Link wins and retains the title.
  • HPW Trios Championship #1 Contenders Lost Woods Gauntlet: The Doom Bringers win and will challenge the uWo for the titles in June.


HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

After April 1st’s Triforce Tournament Finals, the anniversary of crowning Hyrule’s first world champion was tarnished by how the tournament ended! Hilda, Yuga and Ravio were in cahoots! They made sure they were all in the finals together so that they could hand the win to Her Grace! With no way to reverse what happened, Hilda gets her match for the title! Will Link make sure justice is served and Her Grace doesn’t get what she wants?

But in similar fashion, many other contenders are going for gold! The HPW Death Mountain Champion will be facing another mystery opponent, the HPW Goddess Champion’s past may come back to haunt her, and the Gleaming Yellow Light has a mystery partner to help him stand against the HPW Termina Champion and his captain! But perhaps bigger than all that, the infamous Lost Woods themselves play host to a massive match! The five teams that ruined the UnderWorld Order’s victory on April 1st now fight for a chance for a trios title match! Who emerges from the trees ready to strike gold? HPW in the Great Hyrule Forest starts now!


HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS ???

The One True Monster takes on another mystery challenger, because he just wants to fight! So far, he’s checked of Humbirdo Carito and a former HPW Death Mountain Champion in Groose, but who is next? It’s… King Bulblin! Another former HPW Death Mountain Champion steps up to the current, but can the king regain his throne?

Wait, first, Bulblin sends his hench-blins at the ring! The Bulblin Triplets get in and fire off haymakers and kicks! Lynel explodes out and sends them flying! Bulblin One gets up, Lynel grabs him with both hands and brings him up to HEADBUTT him down! Bulblin Two rushes in but Lynel side steps, scoops and POWERSLAMS him on the return! Bulblin Three is on the top rope, he leaps but just bounces off Lynel! Lynel drags Bulblin Three up, sees Bublins One and Two regrouping outside, and then TOSSES Bulblin Three out onto them! A bit of a rough landing for the trio but Lynel doesn’t care, he dares KING Bulblin to get in!

King Bulblin slowly approaches, takes his time getting in the ring, but Lynel waits for him. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and king takes on beast in this opening contest!

King Bulblin and Lynel stare down as fans are divided with their cheers and jeers. Lynel and Bulblin approach, tie up, and Lynel shoves Bulblin down! Lynel roars and fans fire up as Bulblin gets up in a huff. The two circle and feel out this grapple. Bulblin shoots in to get a leg, but Lynel kicks him away. Bulblin comes back, gets around and gets an arm. He wrenches, wristlocks, grinds the shoulder and brings Lynel to a knee! Lynel powers up, throws body shots, but Bulblin throws elbows into the arm! Bulblin reels Lynel in to RAM shoulders with him! But Lynel stays up, glares at Bulblin, and then reels him in to RAM shoulders!

Bulblin staggers, Lynel whips him to a corner then runs in to SPLASH! Lynel watches Bulblin flop down then digs his boot into Bulblin’s head! The ref counts, Lynel lets off at 4, then STOMPS Bulblin with both front legs! Bulblin sputters and fans are divided again as Lynel paces about. The ref checks on Bulblin, but Bulblin is somehow okay to continue. Bulblin drags himself up on the ropes, and Lynel CLOBBERS him against them! Bulblin flounders and stumbles as Lynel stalks up behind him. Lynel shoves Bulblin hard into buckles, chest first! Bulblin staggers back, and Lynel grabs him on the back of his neck, for an INVERTED CHOKE SLAM! And then an ELBOW DROP!

Lynel gets Bulblin’s arms for a RINGS OF SATURN! Lynel cranks back, Bulblin tries reaching for ropes, but he’s stuck! Bulblin verbally quits, Lynel wins!

Winner: Gold Lynel, by submission (still HPW Death Mountain Champion)

Lynel isn’t just big, strong and a powerful striker! He has as a powerful submission in his arsenal! Will this make it even harder for someone to defeat him now?


Igos du Ikana & Captain Keeta VS Osphala & ???

Admittedly, the HPW Termina Champion got away with a controversial win at HyruleMania thanks to the captain of his royal guard! But the Gleaming Yellow Light is coming back for redemption soon enough! Of course, this match came about because of a social media fight, and we’ll see if Osphala actually found someone to team with! Walking out with Osphala is… ROSSO! He was one of the runner-ups in the Fatal 4 Way, will he help Osphala get a leg up on the Ruler of Ruin?

The teams sort out and Osphala of course wants after Igos. But Igos doesn’t care, and Keeta starts. Osphala and Keeta circle, tie up, and Keeta doesn’t budge as Osphala tries to push him. They break, fans rally up, and they tie up again. Osphala steps through to knee low, then CLUB Keeta on the back. Osphala wrenches the arm, hits an elbow breaker, then wrenches to a hammerlock. Keeta reaches for ropes but Osphala cranks to keep him away. Osphala brings Keeta over, Rosso tags in, and he headlocks Keeta. Rosso grinds Keeta, Keeta throws body shots and powers out, but Rosso runs him over! Things speed up, Keeta goes the other way and the two crisscross as they run the ropes!

They go back and forth again and again and again, but Rosso stops himself. He watches Keeta keep going and going, swings a clothesline but Keeta ducks it to come back and CLOBBER Rosso! Keeta fires up while fans are divided between cheers and jeers! Keeta taunts Osphala, gets Rosso up, but Rosso throws body shots! Rosso throws forearms, whips Keeta but Igos tags in as Keeta comes back into Rosso’s SPINEBUSTER! Cover, but the ref explains Keeta isn’t legal! Igos runs in and QUEBRADAS! Direct hit on Rosso! Cover, TWO! Igos taunts Osphala but the ref keeps Osphala back, and Igos gets away with clawing Rosso’s face!

Igos stomps Rosso, Keeta joins in, but the ref sees Keeta and reprimands. Keeta goes to the corner, Igos tags him back in, and Keeta drops an elbow! Keeta drags Rosso up and RAMS him into the corner! The ref reprimands as Keeta digs his shoulder in, but Igos tags in. Igos digs his boot into Rosso’s head, the ref counts and Igos lets off at 4, to KICK Rosso in the corner! Fans boo as Igos drags Rosso up. Igos snapmares and KICKS Rosso in the back! Rosso grits his teeth, Igos KICKS him in the back again, but Rosso gets up and in Igos’ face! Igos throws a forearm, but Rosso doesn’t flinch! Igos throws another, but Rosso grabs Igos with both hands to TOSS him to the corner!

Igos flounders up, Rosso runs in and RAMS him into the corner! Osphala tags in and fans fire up as he fires off haymakers in the corner! Osphala brings Igos out and wrenches an arm. Osphala goes for a double wristlock but Igos moves around to get to ropes. The ref counts, Osphala lets go and Igos bails out. Osphala dares Igos to get back in the ring but Igos dares him to go out there. The ring count starts as Osphala waits at the ropes. Igos goes around towards his corner and Keeta hops down to talk with his leader. Osphala tells them to get in the ring but the ref keeps him back. Igos slides in and BLINDSIDES Osphala! Fans boo as Igos stomps Osphala then drags him to the corner.

Tag to Keeta, Keeta stomps Osphala then drags him up to bump off buckles again and again and again. The ref counts, Keeta lets off, then comes back to get Osphala up. Keeta puts Osphala up top, climbs up to join him, and Igos tags in. Igos sucker punches Rosso! Keeta SUPERPLEXES Osphala! Osphala sits up into a PENALTY KICK from Igos! Keeta goes out to tackle Rosso while Igos covers, TWO! Keeta returns, he and Igos get Osphala up, and Keeta holds Osphala’s arms back in a full nelson so Igos can throw body shots. The ref reprimands and counts, Keeta uses the full nelson to lift Osphala and Igos catches Osphala to SIT-OUT BOMB!

Keeta bails out to go after Rosso again while Igos covers, TWO! Wait, Rosso throws Keeta into railing! Rosso fires up and so do the fans! Rosso reaches from the corner as Osphala crawls over, but Igos drags Osphala away, goes after his legs, but Osphala kicks him away! Osphala scrambles, and hot tags Rosso! Fans fire up as Rosso rallies on Igos with big shoulder tackles! Rosso pushes Igos to ropes to whip him, then pops him up for a GORON DROP! Fans fire up with Rosso again as he runs, and runs, and BIG SPLASHES! Cover, TWO!! Rosso is surprised but he keeps his focus. Rosso drags Igos up, fireman’s carries, and then tags in Osphala as he carries Igos around.

Rosso pops Igos up for a GUTBUSTER! Osphala runs in, ROLLING NECKBREAKER BACKBREAKER COMBO! Osphala covers and Rosso plays defense, but Keeta slips in from the other side to break the pin! Rosso rushes Keeta, the two big men brawl around the ring, and the ref reprimands them both. Igos crawls to his corner, and he’s doing something with the middle buckle! Osphala storms over, Igos mule kicks a leg out! Igos reels Osphala into a facelock, and snap suplexes Osphala into the buckles! The middle buckle has exposed steel!! Osphala writhes, staggers up, into ELEGY OF EMPTINESS!! Cover, Igos & Keeta win!

Winners: Igos du Ikana & Captain Keeta, by pinfall

Keeta cheers but he’s the only one! Everyone saw the Ruler of Ruin resort to shady tactics, except the ref! Rosso gets in and protests, but Keeta hits him from behind! Fans boo but Rosso gets an ELEGY OF EMPTINESS! Keeta is again the only one cheering as he helps Igos with the Termina Championship belt. Will there be any way for the Gleaming Yellow Light to fight such a sinister schemer?


HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Fatal 4 Way: Midna VS Cia w/ The Dark Forces VS Nabooru VS Oaky Treetoh!

The Twilight Princess and Dark Sorceress were HPW Goddess Champions, Nabooru has been a legendary women’s champion all over the world, and the Wooden Doll has at least dreamed of being a champion. But what they all have in common is that they’ve faced Zelda in HPW! Who rises up to get another match with the Princess of Hyrule as Spring gives way to Summer?

Referee Maron Ronron tells Volga, Gibdo and Wizzro to stay seated near commentary while they’re out here, and the three sit near Rusl. Treetoh makes her entrance, and sings along with her theme song, which is already sung by her, on stage. The lights go down so that there’s only the stage lights, and many of the Deku fans in the crowd bring out glow sticks! This is turning into an impromptu idol concert! Though, she is a pretty good singer. After her performance, Treetoh goes to the ring and this match finally begins!

Cia rushes Treetoh but Treetoh runs out of the ring! Cia chases Treetoh, they end up near commentary, and Gibdo gets up to stand in Treetoh’s way! Maron reprimands Gibdo but he stays back as Cia reels Treetoh into a back suplex to the announce desk! Fans boo but the Dark Forces cheer. But then Cia turns around into Nabooru’s PLANCHA! Direct hit and fans cheer Nabooru as she gets Cia up and into the ring. Midna is there to BOOT Nabooru off the apron! Midna drags Cia into a drop zone, goes up top, but Treetoh hurries over. Midna kicks Treetoh away, but Cia gets up to trip Midna! Midna ends up in a Tree of Woe, Cia stomps her, then climbs up the corner.

Cia aims as Midna tries to sit up, and hits WOE STOMPS! Cover, TWO! Cia gets Midna into a chinlock and digs a knee into her back. Nabooru gets in, mule kicks Cia off Midna, and then rolls to get Cia up in a fireman’s carry! Cia flails and gets free, CLUBS Nabooru on the back then throws Nabooru down by her hair! Treetoh runs in, Cia side steps her then kicks her low on the return. Cia reels Treetoh into a facelock, but Treetoh wrenches free to a wristlock. Treetoh kicks Nabooru away, Cia wrenches Treetoh back, Midna SPEARS Cia and Treetoh! Fans fire up with Midna, and then she stares down with Nabooru. Fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Midna!” “NA-BOO-RU!”

Midna and Nabooru start throwing hands! Nabooru gets the edge, whips but Midna reverses. Nabooru ducks, dodges, and back elbows Midna down! Cia runs in with a calf kick! Treetoh comes up behind Cia, waistlocks and pushes her to ropes, for the O’Conner Roll! TWO, Treetoh rebounds off ropes and comes back to jackknife! TWO as Cia bridges up! Cia spins and backslides, Treetoh rolls through and grabs Cia by the ears! Maron reprimands but Treetoh HEADBUTTS Cia! Cia falls over stiff as a board! Treetoh then fires up, runs, and hits a KOKESHI HEADBUTT! The Falling Tree returns to HPW! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up and rally as Treetoh looks around. Treetoh sees she’s the only one standing right now, and she cheers as the fans cheer. They even sing, “OOOA-KY TREE-TOH AAAR-MY!” for her as she brings Cia up. Treetoh knuckle locks, CHOPS Cia, then goes up the corner. Treetoh walks the tightrope, Nabooru gets up and heads over, Treetoh leaps over Cia to headscissor Nabooru away! Treetoh ducks Cia’s kick, dropkicks her into ropes, and table tops Cia down. Treetoh runs again, FALLING TREE- FLOP! Cia gets around behind Treetoh, but Midna BOOTS Cia down! Treetoh turns around into Midna’s CHOP!

Midna CHOPS again, and again, but Treetoh uses her hard head against the chop! Midna clutches her hand, and Teetoh STOMPS Midna’s foot! Treetoh grinds the foot while doing a little dance. Midna pushes Treetoh away, Cia comes back to hit a BACKSTABBER on Midna! Cia gets Midna up and over for the BLACK MAGIC CROSSFACE! Midna endures and claws around as fans fire up! But Treetoh comes back, FALLING TREE! She gets Cia right in the shoulder! Midna is free and she rolls away while Nabooru returns. Nabooru kicks Treetoh low, throws forearms, then whips her to a corner. Nabooru runs in to WHEEL KICK! And BULLDOG!

Cia returns to RANA- No! Nabooru blocks the huricanrana and brings Cia back up, only for Cia to sunset flip! Cover, TWO, and Nabooru hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Cover, but Midna breaks it! Midna drags Nabooru up, wrenches an arm and CHOPS Nabooru to ropes. Midna whips, Nabooru reverses, but Midna breaks through Nabooru’s clothesline! Midna comes back and CHOPS Nabooru on the run! Nabooru staggers to a corner, Midna hurries after her to fire off forearms and CHOPS! Midna whips corner to corner, Nabooru reverses again, but Midna goes tumbling up and out to the apron. But Cia trips Midna off the apron while Treetoh fires off on Nabooru!

Cia RAMS Midna into railing and then stomps her down! Treetoh backs Nabooru onto the ropes, Nabooru turns things around and throws a forearm, but Treetoh’s hard head hurts her arm! Treetoh wrenches Nabooru’s arm, then HEADBUTTS it! Nabooru clutches the bad arm, Treetoh trips Nabooru, and then FALLING TREE! Treetoh drops her headbutt right on Nabooru’s stomach! High stack cover, TWO!! Treetoh is shocked at how close she came to winning this huge return! Cia rushes back in, but into a low headbutt! Treetoh uppercuts, fires up and runs, but Midna is on the apron in her way!

Treetoh is scared and turns around, but into Cia’s sunset flip! Treetoh is sent into Midna and Midna falls off the apron! Cia rolls Treetoh back down into a SAND CRAB! Treetoh freaks out, flailing and reaching around. Nabooru gets Cia for the dragon sleeper! N B R!! Cover, but Wizzro and Volga get on the apron! Fans boo and Maron reprimands that they’re disobeying her orders! Nabooru rushes over and BLASTS them both off the apron! Volga and Wizzro fall onto Gibdo! And Maron says they’re EJECTED! Nabooru goes back to Cia, but gets caught to a victory roll!! Cover, Midna breaks it!! Cia just missed her window to steal this one!

Fans are thunderous as Midna, Cia and Nabooru stare each other down while slowly standing back up. The three are wary as they approach, but Treetoh rushes in! Treetoh LEAPS but all three get clear, and the flying headbutt flops! Treetoh tumbles out of the ring, Midna BOOTS Cia down! Midna then CHOPS Nabooru on repeat! Midna reels Nabooru in but Nabooru fights off the clinch. Nabooru fires off a strike fest, but spins into another clinch! BACKBREAKER to COMPLETE SHOT! Midna stalks behind Nabooru as she sits up, TWILIGHT SLEEP!! Cia SMACKS Midna down with a chair!! Fatal 4 Way means No Disqualification!

Cia SMACKS Midna, SMACKS Nabooru, then SMACKS Midna again! Fans are divided between booing and cheering as Cia seethes. Midna flops out of the ring, Cia digs the edge of the chair into Nabooru’s chest. Cia lets off to then place the chair on Nabooru’s body. Cia goes to a corner, climbs up top, and leaps for a FROG SPLASH onto chair and Nabooru! But Treetoh gets Cia with an OAK-LAHOMA ROLL! TREETOH WINS!?!

Winner: Oaky Treetoh, by pinfall (NEW #1 contender to the HPW Goddess Championship)

The arena erupts over this shocker! Cia is shocked and furious as she argues and Maron while Treetoh is celebrating with her Deku fanbase! Will they be celebrating even harder should she actually dethrone the Princess of Hyrule?


HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Hilda w/ Yuga & Ravio!

The Hero of Hyrule was criticized for not defending his title enough in the first year of this title’s existence. While that may be valid, Her Grace is trying to make a point of it and has demanded she challenge for the title now! Of course, Hilda is being heavily criticized for gaming the system with help from The Artist and #Murusagi. Will Link redeem himself while giving Hilda what she deserves?

Yuga and Ravio lead the way for Hilda, Yuga still wearing the boar headdress he took from Ganondorf that he made pastel and colorful. Ravio unrolls a purple carpet, but why is the Triforce on it upside-down? Did he get the direction of the carpet wrong? They don’t seem to be reacting so maybe they meant for it to be upside-down? Hilda is helped up to the apron and Ravio holds the ropes open for her to enter the ring. Link is still in his Hero of Old gear, and he keeps his eyes locked on Hilda, Yuga & Ravio as he walks down the ramp. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see if the new Triforce Tournament winner can dethrone the original!

WrestlingTitle Hylian

Fans rally for Link as he and Hilda stare down. Ravio leads what limited Hilda cheering section there is with a “GO HILDA!” banner on a Ravio branded flag pole. But him standing on the commentary desk gets on commentary’s nerves and Rusl tells him to get down. Ravio hops down, Hilda and Link finally circle, but Hilda doesn’t seem to be taking this seriously. She has her hands behind her back as she skips around. Then she and Link approach, and she jukes the tie up to spin and flourish for the fans. Hilda tosses her hair and it hits Link in the face as he turns around. Ravio and Yuga cheer as Hilda laughs and revels in herself, but many fans boo.

Hilda and Link circle again, then approach. Hilda dodges the tie up again, does a little dance and blows a kiss to the crowd. She turns around, Link shows superkick and she freaks out! Hilda goes all the way out of the ring! Links puts his hands on his hips and fans laugh, which upsets Hilda. She tells fans to stop laughing, then huffs and puffs around the outside while referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts. Ravio and Yuga work to calm Hilda down as the count reaches 5 of 10. Hilda storms up the steps and to the apron. She tells Link to stay back, but he hasn’t even left the center of the ring since she bailed out. Hilda enters at 8 of 10, and the two reset.

Fans rally as Link and Hilda approach. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, are in a deadlock, but Link arm-drags Hilda and has an armlock. Hilda kicks from the mat, then kips up and whips Link to a corner. Hilda runs in, Link puts her on the apron, and Hilda roundhouses back! Hilda slingshots and headscissors Link away. Link gets up, Hilda sunset flips but Link stays up. Link grabs Hilda’s hands, sits her up, but Ravio gets on the apron! Sahasrahla reprimands Ravio, but Yuga is sneaking in around the other side! Link sees Yuga and runs him off, but Hilda rolls Link up! Now Ravio hops down so Sahasrahla can count, TWO!! Hilda almost stole that one!!

Fans boo as Hilda and Link get up again. Hilda hurries to ropes for defense as Link rushes in, and Sahasrahla keeps Link back. Link starts to get frustrated but he cools off as he paces and waits. Hilda returns and resets with Link again. They approach, feel out the grapple, and they tie up with knuckle locks. Hilda kicks one arm away, wrenches the other, steps over and traps the arm. Hilda throws back elbows, grabs at Link’s other arm, but Link rolls and trips Hilda. Link floats to a headlock but Hilda slips out the back to hammerlock. Hilda wants the facelock! Link powers Hilda back and RAMS her into buckles!

Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak, Hilda lets Link go and Link lets off, but Hilda kicks his leg out! BUCKLE SHOT! Hilda gets Link up with a waistlock to O’Conner Roll, TWO! Hilda goes up the corner, and CROSSBODIES! Link rolls through to scoop Hilda and get her to a fireman’s carry! BOMBOS MEDALLION! Cover, but now BOTH Ravio and Yuga get on the apron! Sahasrahla shouts at both of them but they’re on opposite sides of the ring! Sahasrahla deals with Yuga so Link goes after Ravio. Ravio gets scared and scurries away, shouting for the ref to stop Link. Sahasrahla sees that and hurries over, and Yuga slides something to Hilda!

Link returns to the ring and Sahasrahla warns Ravio. Link heads over to Hilda, but she’s got some kind of knuckle duster! She swings a punch but Link counters with an arm-drag! Link has an armlock, and Sahasrahla notices the knuckle duster! Sahasrahla tries to get Hilda to let it go but Hilda pretends to not know what he is talking about. Link yanks Hilda right up to her feet, gets her in position, but Hilda slips around in the Bladerunner to shove Link into Sahasrahla! The ref is down and Hilda throws Link into the ropes face first! Link sputters, Yuga CRACKS him with his scepter!! Fans boo but Hilda shoves Link to the other ropes, for Ravio to CRACK with the banner!!

Link staggers and fans are furious! Hilda kicks Link low, gets his arm in a hammerlock, and hits HER GRACE’S CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT! Cover, but Sahasrahla is still out! Hilda is furious but this was her own fault! Hilda shouts at Sahasrahla to get up and Ravio reaches out at him from the ropes. Sahasrahla gets up slowly, Hilda keeps shouting at him, and Link crawls to a corner. Hilda runs in, but Link slips out of the ring! Hilda’s meteora hits buckles! Yuga aims with his scepter, takes a swing, but Link dodges to HOOK KICK him down! Link gets in and shows superkick, but Hilda ducks, only for it to be a feint! Link reels Hilda in for a facelock, and suplexes for the QUAKE MEDALLION!

Ravio gets on the apron to distract everyone again! But wait! Zelda jumps in from the crowd side and she trips Ravio off the apron! Ravio staggers into a POISON-RANA! Fans fire up but Yuga storms over! Wait, is that Ganondorf?! He’s wearing an even scarier headdress than the one Yuga stole, and Yuga stops in his tracks! Yuga starts to back up but Ganondorf rushes at him! Ganondorf BOOTS Yuga down and sends the pastel pig headdress flying! Fans are thunderous that the original Triforce Tournament finalists are standing together against the new ones! Well, maybe not, as Ganondorf grabs the old headdress up and takes it away with him as he goes up the ramp…

Zelda tells Link to finish this, and Hilda panics. Hilda begs Link for mercy, but fans are chanting, “NO! NO! NO!” Link steps to Hilda and Hilda goes after his eyes! Fans boo again as Hilda reels Link in for another hammerlock! Link pushes Hilda away, she runs back in but into the MASTER SWORD! Hilda staggers into a COMPLETE SHOT! Link then turns and sits Hilda back up with her wrists, for LIGHT ARROW!! Cover, Link wins!

Winner: Link, by pinfall (still HPW Triforce Champion)

The inaugural Triforce Tournament winner defeats the newest winner! And with that, the champion is still the Hero of Hyrule! Zelda stands with Link as Hilda regroups with Yuga and Ravio at the ramp. Zelda raises Link’s hand in victory, and both champions raise their belts overhead. Will the Hero and Princess of Hyrule both make sure Her Grace doesn’t get her way in HPW?


HPW Trios Championship #1 Contenders Lost Woods Gauntlet!

The Trios Division is under a new world order! An UnderWorld Order! But things erupted right after that win at the #Triforciversary and it’s time to sort out the mess! This battle will be waged all through the infamous Lost Woods, but who will find their way out and become contenders?

Teams have already been dispatched into the woods in a random order. Making their entrance now is the Ikana Royal Family! Stal-Kid, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr are ready to follow Igos & Keeta in winning, but will it be so easy? They enter the Lost Woods, and have their first encounter: Riju, Aveil & Bularia!

The Ikana Royal Family VS The Desert Flowers!

The trios sort out and this gauntlet starts with Sir Hurr and Riju. They circle, tie up, and Hurr wrenches an arm. Hurr YANKS the arm, hammerlocks it, then shifts to a headlock to get a takeover. Hurr grinds Riju down, but Riju manages a headscissors. Hurr kips free, Riju headlocks and hits a takeover. Riju resists the headscissors, grinds the headlock, but Hurr rolls her to a cover. ONE, Riju holds onto the headlock, but Hurr gets up. Hurr lifts but Riju cranks the headlock to stop the back suplex. Hurr throws body shots, powers out and then runs Riju over on the rebound! Hurr drops for the cover, Riju Matrix bridges out of it!

Riju runs, ducks and dodges, then RANAS! Hurr flounders away to his corner, and fans cheer in the standoff. Durr tags in, and he calls out Bularia! Riju looks to Bularia, and Bularia reaches out her hand. Riju tags and fans rally as Bularia circles with Durr. Durr and Bularia tie up, Durr gets around and CLUBS Bularia, but she stands up tall as she scowls at him. Bularia swings a clothesline, Durr ducks it, but Bularia comes back with the LEFT! Durr staggers, Bularia snapmares him towards the Desert Flowers corner, and KICKS him in the back! Tag to Aveil, she tags Riju then hops up to SECOND ROPE METEORA!

Riju goes up top for the ULTIMATE ELBOW DROP!! Cover, but Hurr and Stal-Kid get in to break it! They brawl with Aveil and Bularia and referee Maron tries to restore order. Bularia whips Stal-Kid to a corner then runs in, but into a drop toehold that sends her into the buckles! Aveil throws Hurr out but Hurr trips her up and drags her outside! Hurr whips her into the railing, then RAMS her into the apron! Riju WRECKS Hurr with a dropkick! Stal-Kid runs in but Riju dumps him out. Bularia DIVES and takes Hurr and Stal-Kid out! Durr CLAWS Riju on the back! And then he makes tiger claws to the camera.

Durr whips Riju to ropes then catches her for a cobra twist! Riju endures and fans rally but Durr digs his fingers into her side! Durr claws her again, and again shows tiger claws to the camera. Riju frees a leg and hip tosses Durr down! Riju runs and basement dropkicks! Cover, TWO! The teams return to their corners, Riju drags Durr over and tags in Aveil. Aveil tags Bularia in, Aveil and Riju double snapmare to KICK sandwich, and Bularia runs to SLIDING KICK! Aveil and Riju swipe at Hurr and Stal-Kid while Bularia covers, TWO! Bularia drags Durr up and feeds him to a DOUBLE DROPKICK! Bularia STANDING MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally as Bularia gets Durr back up. Bularia wrenches Durr’s arm but he blocks the whip. Durr whips Bularia, drop toeholds then jumps for an elbow drop to her back! Durr drags Bularia back, tags Stal-Kid, and Durr anchors Bularia as Stal-Kid slingshot sentons onto her! Stal-Kid taunts Riju and Aveil, runs back and basement dropkicks Bularia to the corner. Stal-Kid stomps a mudhole, digs his boots in, then tags in Hurr. Stal-Kid swings for a dropkick! Hurr gets Bularia up, tags in Durr, and they double whip Bularia to ropes. Bularia kicks back, shoves Hurr into Durr, then hot tags to Aveil! Aveil goes up top and DOUBLE MISSILE DROPKICKS!

Fans fire up with Aveil as she rallies on Hurr and Durr with CHOPS and forearms! Aveil tilt-o-whirls but Durr blocks the DDT! Durr throws Aveil, Hurr runs up behind, HIGH LOW! Durr tags in Stal-Kid, Hurr and Durr blast Riju and Aveil off the apron, then DOUBLE PLANCHA to take them both out! Stal-Kid reels Aveil into a torture rack, and flips her into a KNEE SMASH! The GTT, #GoToTermina!! Cover, The Ikana Royal Family ELIMINATE The Desert Flowers! Stal-Kid is fired up, and he regroups with Hurr and Durr to move on to the next segment in the forest. Waiting for them in another ring is Darkhammer, Gooma and Doomknocker!

The Ikana Royal Family VS The Doom Bringers!

Knocker is already waiting as the IRF walks up to the ring. Stal-Kid slides in to start with Knocker, Maron enters the ring, and the second match-up begins! Knocker shoots in but Stal-Kid dodges. They circle and tie up, and Stal-Kid wrenches to a wristlock. Knocker works on a reversal, rolls, then sweeps the leg. Cover, ONE, and Stal-Kid sweeps the legs to cover. ONE, and Knocker CHOPS Stal-Kid! Knocker headlocks, brings Stal-Kid over, and tags in Gooma. The Doom Bringers mug Stal-Kid, Gooma CLUBS Stal-Kid, and then holds his hand out to Hurr and Durr, mockingly offering a tag. Gooma then wrenches to whip Stal-Kid hard into the Doom Bringer corner.

Gooma tags Darkhammer in, they drag Stal-Kid up and Gooma LARIATS Stal-Kid in the back to feed to Hammer’s BIG back drop! Hammer runs for a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Stal-Kid reaches but Hammer drags him away. Knocker tags back in, Hammer wheelbarrows Stal-Kid, WHEELBARROW BULLDOG COMBO! Cover, TWO! Knocker grows annoyed, he drags Stal-Kid back again and tags Gooma. Knocker gets Stal-Kid up and back suplexes, but Stal-Kid lands on his feet! Gooma back suplexes but Stal-Kid again lands on his feet! Stal-Kid ends up in the Doom Bringer corner, he ROCKS Hammer, then dodges Gooma to send him into buckles!

Stal-Kid leaps, Knocker catches him, but Stal-Kid kicks and flails, and hits a DDT!! Both men are down, fans fire up and Stal-Kid crawls, hot tag to Hurr! Hurr PENALTY KICKS Knocker, BLASTS Hammer off the apron, then avoids Gooma’s swipe. Gooma wants back in but Maron keeps him back, allowing Durr to get in and stomp Knocker with Hurr! Durr slips back to the corner before Maron notices, and he tags in. Hurr and Durr get Knocker up, double whip and DOUBLE FLAPJACK! They roll back for a DOUBLE HALF CRAB! Maron reprimands and counts, Hurr gives Durr the other leg at 4, and Durr ties the legs up for a SHARPSHOOTER!

Knocker endures as Durr sits back deep! Knocker reaches, claws and crawls his way over, but Durr drags him away! Hammer gets back up and goes right into the ring, but Maron keeps him back! Knocker slips through to kick Durr to ropes, and Gooma gets in a cheap shot! Knocker gets up and SPINNING BACK HANDS Durr! Knocker then reels Durr in for a dragon sleeper and REVERSE DDT! Cover, but Hurr breaks it! Hurr stomps Knocker, Maron reprimands but he drags Knocker up. Knocker throws body shots, CHOPS and haymakers! Knocker whips, Hurr reverses but Knocker ducks the clothesline to waistlock and GERMAN SUPLEX!

Stal-Kid CROSSBODIES Knocker from the top rope! Gooma CLOBBERS Stal-Kid! Durr CLAWS Gooma’s back, then reels him in for a Side Leg Sweep! Hammer POUNCES Durr back to his corner! Hammer YANKS Durr up into a bearhug for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Durr staggers up and Knocker kicks him low. Knocker reels Durr in and brings him up for a PILEDRIVER!! Cover, The Doom Bringers ELIMINATE The Ikana Royal Family! Knocker, Hammer and Gooma leave the IRF behind to go to the next area, and find their old rivals!

The Doom Bringers VS Forged By Violence!

Iron Knuckle applauds Knocker and his team making it this far. Maron gets in the ring and the trios sort out, and round three starts with Knuckle and Knocker. Fans rally up as the two egg each other on. They circle, approach, and tie up. Knuckle powers Knocker to ropes, Knocker turns it around, and Maron counts the ropebreak. Knocker lets off at 4, but swings on Knuckle! Knuckle dodges that and ROCKS Knocker with a forearm. Knuckle whips Knocker to ropes, Knocker rams shoulders with him, but neither falls. They egg each other on again, Knocker runs and rams shoulders with Knuckle again. Still neither falls, so now Knuckle runs! Knuckle rams Knocker, Knocker rebounds, but Knuckle runs him over!

Fans fire up as Knuckle stares Knocker down while looming over him. Knuckle runs, Knocker gets up to drop down but Knuckle isn’t tripped up. Gooma gets in Knuckle’s way on the apron, Knuckle turns around for Knocker to run him over! Maron reprimands Gooma but Knocker drags Knuckle up to bring him over to the Doom Bringer corner. Knocker stomps a mudhole into Knuckle, digs his boot in, then tags in Hammer. Hammer whips Knocker into the corner to hip attack! Hammer drags Knuckle to a cover, TWO! Hammer clamps onto Knuckle with an armlock and grinds the shoulder. Fans rally as Knuckle endures.

Knuckle fights up, throws body shots, and whips Hammer to the FBV corner. Knuckle runs in and RAMS into Hammer, then digs his shoulder in. Maron counts, Red Nut tags in and he ROCKS Hammer with a right! Knuckle exits, Red tags Blue Nut and the Darknuts double wrench Hammer to then DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH! Blue Nut rolls Hammer to an inside cradle, TWO! Blue Nut stays between Hammer and the other Doom Bringers and CLUBS him down. Blue Nut facelocks and drags Hammer around, but Hammer powers up! Hammer RAMS Blue Nut to an open corner, then reaches for the Doom Bringer corner. Blue Nut gets past him to BLAST Knocker off the apron!

Blue Nut runs back to CLOBBER Hammer! Blue Nut drags Hammer up with another facelock, brings him over and Red Nut tags in. They double wrench Hammer, reel him in, and double suplex! But Gooma is there to save Hammer! Gooma ROCKS Blue Nut, Hammer back elbows Red Nut, and they double whip the Darknuts. The Darknuts duck clotheslines and come back to run Hammer and Gooma over! But then Knocker runs in and DOUBLE LARIATS both Nuts! Fans are all fired up but Maron tries to restore order. Knocker goes back to his corner and stares down Knuckle from across the way as he holds out a hand. Hammer and Blue Nut crawl, hot tags to Knuckle and Knocker!

Knuckle and Knocker fire off furious fists and the fans fire up! Knuckle gets the edge, spins, but Knocker HEADBUTTS him first! Knocker shakes out the cobwebs, runs, but Knuckle turns to LARIAT! Knuckle fires up, gets Knocker up, but then sees Hammer getting in. Knuckle shoves Knocker down to BOOT Hammer! Hammer rebounds, into an URENAGE! Maron tells Hammer to get out, Knocker DECKS Knuckle! Knocker stomps Knuckle to a corner, Maron counts and Knocker lets off, but comes back to stomp him more. Knocker drags Knuckle up, whips him corner to corner but Knuckle reverses! Knocker hits buckles hard and staggers forward!

Knuckle reels Knocker in, but Knocker fights off the urenage! Knocker throws body shots, throws another headbutt, then whips Knuckle to ropes. Knuckle ducks and dodges, RAMS Knocker with a shoulder, but Knocker rebounds. Knocker swings but Knuckle gets around to waistlock. Knocker resists the lift, elbows but Knuckle lets him spin around, into an STO! Cover, Gooma breaks it! The Darknuts go after Gooma! Gooma fights back, Red Nut kicks low and feeds Gooma to Blue Nut’s fireman’s carry! The Darknuts coordinate, NUT BUSTER! Forged By Violence regroups and gets Knocker up. The Darknuts hold Knocker, Knuckle shouts, “NOW, YOU MUST DIE!”

Knuckle runs, but Hammer trips him up! Hammer drags Knuckle out, the Darknuts hurry out after him! Hammer gets mugged 2v1, Knocker drags himself over to the Doom Bringer’s corner. The Darknuts RAM Hammer into railing, then help Knuckle back in. Knuckle goes after Knocker in the corner and they scrap! Knocker and Knuckle both ROCK each other with right hands! Knuckle staggers away, Knocker ends up in his corner. Gooma tags in then drops down behind the apron! Knocker runs at Knuckle, avoids the turn-around lariat this time to get a waistlock, but Knuckle resists the German Suplex!

Knuckle elbows Knocker until he lets go, but Maron tells him Knocker isn’t the legal wrestler! Knuckle turns around into Gooma’s SPEAR! Cover, Knocker intercepts the Darknuts, the Doom Bringers ELIMINATE Forged By Violence!! Fans go nuts and the Darknuts are shocked! The Doom Bringers regroup, as do FBV. Knocker applauds now, and offers a fist. Knuckle accepts the fist bump, and the Doom Bringers head to the last area in the Lost Woods. There, in one more ring, waits Master Kohga, Garo Master and Master Stalfos!

The Doom Bringers VS The Three Masters!

Fans are all fired up as the final round of the gauntlet begins! Garo starts for his team, and though Knocker wants to, Gooma insists he start. Knocker and Hammer oblige and Gooma circles with Garo. They approach, tie up, and are in a deadlock as Gooma stays put while Garo tries to push him. Gooma shoves Garo away and laughs before beating his chest. Garo keeps his cool and ties up with Gooma again. Gooma shoves Garo again, Garo rolls through to then handspring back and leap at Gooma! Gooma catches Garo and THROWS him with an overhead Belly2Belly! Garo tumbles to the Masters’ corner, and fans fire up as Gooma roars and flexes.

Garo gets up but Stalfos wants in. Garo tags him in and now the beefiest men from either team meet. Though, can a living skeleton really be beefy? Anyway, Stalfos and Gooma circle, tie up, and now they’re in a true deadlock as their strength is evenly matched. The two break, fans rally up as they stare down, and then they approach again. Gooma gets around and CLUBS Stalfos on the back, but Stalfos stays up. Stalfos JABS Gooma, uppercuts, then reels him in and turns him for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Gooma growls as he sits back up but Stalfos stomps him down! Stalfos runs and jumps to drop an elbow! Cover, TWO!

Stalfos drags Gooma up, puts him in the Master’s corner and stomps him. Maron counts, Stalfos backs off, and Kohga gets a cheap shot in! Stalfos comes back, drags Gooma up and throws forearms. Maron counts again, Stalfos tags Kohga in, and Kohga swings in for a dropkick! Kohga gets Gooma up, clamps on a facelock and underhooks an arm. Kohga steps up and over the arm, hammerlocks it with legs, and then wraps on a chinlock. Gooma endures  as Kohga grinds him down. Fans rally up, Gooma powers up but Kohga CLUBS him on the back. Kohga shifts to get Gooma in a cobra twist, and he digs an elbow into Gooma’s ribs.

Gooma endures again as Kohga twists and stretches him. Fans rally back up, Gooma gets a leg free and hip tosses Kohga down! Gooma gets Kohga back up and SHOVES him into the Doom Bringer corner! Gooma tags Hammer in, Gooma traps Kohga in the corner as Hammer runs, taunts Garo and Stalfos, and comes back. Gooma moves, Hammer SPLASHES Kohga! Hammer tags Knocker, snapmares Kohga, and Knocker runs in to basement GoroUpper! Knocker drags Kohga from the corner to cover, TWO! Knocker grows a bit frustrated, but he drags Kohga up with a dragon sleeper. Knocker taunts Garo and Stalfos, but Kohga high kicks him!

Kohga snapmares free, and basement dropkicks him in the back! Knocker writhes, Kohga gets the arms and rolls Knocker to La Magistrol! TWO, and Kohga sunset flips. Knocker rolls through, Kohga ducks the Penalty Kick to school boy roll, TWO! Knocker avoids the basement dropkick and drops a BACK SENTON! Cover, TWO, and Kohga has a ghost pin! TWO!! Knocker narrowly escapes and fans are fired up! Knocker swings, Kohga bobs ‘n’ weaves then ROCKS Knocker with a right! And then another! And another! Kohga spins but Knocker ducks! Knocker headbutts low, front kicks, then whips Kohga to ropes to scoop him for a SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Knocker tags Hammer in and Hammer immediately drops a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Hammer drags Kohga up to CLUB him back down! Hammer wrenches Kohga, uppercuts the arm, then hammerlocks the arm to then RAM Kohga shoulder first into buckles. Kohga throws a back elbow with the other arm, but Hammer throws a heavy body shot. Hammer digs his forearms into Kohga’s head, Maron counts, but Gooma tags in. Hammer lets off, Gooma stomps a mudhole into Kohga, but he lets off as Maron counts again. Gooma drags Kohga up, wrenches the bad arm, YANKS it, then whips him to ropes.

Kohga tiger feints through the ropes but the bad arm slows him down. Gooma rushes in but Kohga jumps up to guillotine leg drop Gooma through the ropes! Kohga slingshots to sunset flip, TWO! Kohga anchors Gooma with a toehold and tags in Garo. Garo drops an elbow on Gooma’s back, then clamps onto the arm. Gooma moves around to resist the Fujiwara armbar, but Garo steps over to then JAM the arm with a straddle attack. Garo wrenches again to wristlock, digs an elbow into the shoulder then JAMS the shoulder with the elbow. Gooma powers up to whip Garo away, but Garo slides under his boot to then dropkick him onto the ropes!

Fans fire up, Garo runs, and he CROSSBODIES Gooma against the ropes! Gooma ends up in a drop zone, Garo goes up and up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Cover, but both Knocker and Hammer break it! Stalfos and Kohga rush after them and they brawl! Maron tries to restore order but that’s not so easy! Kohga dodges a forearm to SCREW HIGH KICK Knocker down! Hammer DECKS Kohga, but Stalfos LEG LARIATS Hammer down! Stalfos pursues Hammer out of the ring, grabs an arm, but Hammer uses his tail to sweep the legs! Hammer drags Stalfos up to a fireman’s carry, BALL ‘N’ CHAIN TKO onto the barrier! Kohga FLIES in outta nowhere and wipes Hammer out!

Gooma POUNCES Kohga into the crowd!! Gooma gets back in the ring, Garo goes to scoop him, but he’s too big! Gooma throws body shots, ROCKS Garo with a forearm, but Garo ENZIGURIS back! Gooma staggers back, Knocker tags in! Garo didn’t see that, he runs in and HESITATION DROPKICKS Gooma! But he rolls backwards into Knocker’s BLINDSIDE BACK HAND! Knocker reels Garo in for a LUMBAR CHECK!! Cover, the Doom Bringers win!!

Winners: The Doom Bringers, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contenders to the HPW Trios Championships)

Fans are going nuts as Knocker, Hammer and Gooma regroup and celebrate! They walk out together through the exit of the Lost Woods to return back to the main stage! Wait, what’s going on with the titantron? “The following announcement has been paid for by the UnderWorld Order.” And on the titantron, it’s Death Sword, Gomess and Hollywood ReDead! They’re applauding but also chuckling. ReDead says, “Congratulations, fellas, you survived! But only for now! Because y’see, you don’t understand the gravity of the situation you’re in.

“When we face off, we’re going to go to some dark places. Because we’re willing to do whatever it takes to hold onto these titles and build a new empire. You fellas are gonna feel pain like never before, and sing your swan songs, jack! You can’t kill what’s already dead, but the UnderWorld Order will live forever.” The uWo throw up the rock ‘n’ roll fingers as they slash their throats with tongues out. Will they take the HPW Trios titles to another level? Or will their reign be up in smoke after facing the Doom Bringers?

My Thoughts:

I’m pretty sure italicizing some phrases in that last segment gives away that they’re references, but I wonder if anyone understands the references. And I know “Oaky Treetoh” is a really labored pun for Maki Itoh, but I feel like Treetoh and Zelda will make for a good match on some level. Writing a gauntlet match was a bit tricky, I didn’t want to make this like the Clash of Fates main event, but each match-up still needed “time to breathe.” I don’t know if the June event will be quite as big as this as far as number of matches, but the matches could end up big because of story beats that I of course have to hit on.

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Talk the Kēki: Link Click Season 2, Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today, More!

Without any further delay, Talk the Kēki makes its return! Join Mat and Ethan as they talk about what’s been going on and as to why they haven’t had new episodes out.



Without any further delay, Talk the Kēki makes its return! Join Mat and Ethan as they talk about what’s been going on and as to why they haven’t had new episodes out. The boys talk about the conclusion of Nier Automata, Tonikawa OVA’s 1-2, and we also get a lightning round with recaps of various shows such as Dark Gathering, Bleach TYBW, Zom 100, Reign of Seven Spellblades, Duke of Death and his Maid, Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today, and much more!

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About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #201: Ahsoka Is Mid

With Dave out on assignment, Patrick, Rey and PC keep you up to date on Ahsoka, rundown a full Trailer Park and get into more strike news.



Bandwagon Nerds Mario

With Dave out on assignment, Patrick, Rey and PC keep you up to date on all things NERD! This week we continue to cover the Star Wars series Ahsoka, with part 5: Shadow Warrior. The Trailer Park consists of two upcoming streaming series, A Murder at the End of the World and Goosebumps. Along with two upcoming movies Totally Killer and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. In NERD news we cover a possible Brightburn sequel, Lando shifting to movie form and plenty of new strike news.

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About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and Rey Cash as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!

The Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts and radio shows!

All Shows On Demand

Listen on your favorite platform!

iTunes  |  iHeart Radio  |  Google Play  |  Spotify
Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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