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Mitchell’s NJPW Hyper Battle Results & Report! (4/9/22)

It’s a SIX TITLE MATCH finale!

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NJPW Hyper Battle

What a great way to close out Hyper Battle 2022!

NJPW closes this blast from the past with an explosion of gold! The world title, junior title, world tag titles, junior tag titles, NEVER and KOPW, ON ONE SHOW!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: JadoAce & Guerrillas of Destiny VS Bullet Club; JadoAce & GoD win.
  • Tetsuya Naito & Shingo Takagi VS Will Ospreay & Aaron Henare; Naito & Takagi win.
  • IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato VS El Phantasmo & Taiji Ishimori; Taguchi & Wato win.
  • KOPW 2022 No Ropes Ring Out Match: Toru Yano VS Taichi w/ Miho Abe; Taichi wins and becomes the new Mr. KOPW 2022.
  • NEVER Openweight Championship: EVIL w/ Dick Togo VS Hiromu Takahashi; Evil wins and retains the title.
  • IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI VS Great-O-Khan & Jeff Cobb; Khan & Cobb win and become new IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions.
  • IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: El Desperado VS SHO; Desperado wins and retains the title.
  • IWGP World Heavyweight Championship: Kazuchika Okada VS Zack Sabre Jr; Okada wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato VS El Phantasmo & Taiji Ishimori!

The Funky Weapon exposed the fix in the Headbanga’s boot, and then he and the Way of the Grandmaster took these belts in a fiery Fatal 4! But will the 69 come to an end? Or will Six or Nine shut down the Cutest Tag Team once again?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and the first of SIX title matches begins!

Fans rally up as ELP and Taiji Too Sweet, and then Taguchi and Wato double fist bump. Taiji and Taguchi start and fans rally up as they circle. They tie up, Taiji wrenches to a hammerlock then waistlock, but Taguchi drop toeholds. Taguchi floats to a headlock but Taiji slips out to hammerlock. Taguchi moves around but Taiji keeps on the hammerlock. They stand up, Taguchi wrenches back but Taiji rolls, kips up, cartwheels and wrenches to wrangle Taguchi down! Fans applaud the exchange, and Taiji brings Taguchi over. ELP tags in, climbs up, and he ax handles the arm! ELP wrenches, hammerlocks, and headlocks, but Taguchi slips out to hammerlock back!

Taguchi keeps on the hold and puts ELP in the corner. Tag to Wato, Taguchi hands off the arm for Wato to wrench. Wato headlocks, ELP powers out, things speed up, ELP hurdles and Wato leaps. ELP runs into the back elbow and uppercut but he avoids the sobat. ELP whips, Wato reverses but ELP rolls off his back. Wato runs to RANA! Fans fire up but ELP gets up, SOBAT hits after all! Wato DECKS Taiji for good measure, and he tags in Taguchi. Six or Nine double whip, double drop toehold, and roll to double basement dropkick! Fans fire up as Taiji runs in to get double hip toss, split the wishbone, and double basement dropkicks, too!

Wato bumps ELP off buckles in one corner while Taguchi bumps Taiji off buckles in another corner. They run corner to corner, Taguchi hip attacks Taiji and Taguchi hip attacks ELP. Then they go back the other way! Six or Nine whip ELP & Taiji at each other, but they do-si-do. Taguchi and Wato dodge to then do-si-do, but then Taiji & ELP dodge! Another do-si-do, but Taguchi and Wato tell them to stop! ENZIGURI IN STEREO! Fans fire up as Wato and Taguchi give thumbs up. Taguchi uses baseball signals and Wato brings the Cutest Tag Team up while Taguchi climbs a corner.

Taguchi arms the Funky Weapon, Wato brings Taiji and ELP over but they fight back! Taiji and ELP double whip Wato into Taguchi’s ass! Taguchi doesn’t realize what happened until he looks down! Taguchi sees Wato flop out of the ring, and then he looks back to see Taiji and ELP there. Taguchi turns around and ask they wait. He leaps, but they get clear of the Missile Hip. ELP kicks low and CLAWS Taguchi’s back! ELP and Taiji bring him to the corner, Taiji tags in, and fans rally as Taiji does his dance moves! Taiji jumps down to CLAW Taguchi! ELP and Taiji strut about, ELP tags back in, and fans rally up.

ELP goes corner to corner, somersaults, handsprings, drop steps, and hits a Liger pose to CLAW Taguchi! Cover, TWO! ELP drags Taguchi up, Taiji tags in, and they mug Taguchi. ELP even claws Taguchi on his way out! Taiji drags Taguchi up but Taguchi throws body shots. Taiji knees Taguchi low, whips, but Taguchi reverses. Taiji slips out, slides in, goes back out and shoulders Taguchi away, springboard SEATED SENTON! Cover, TWO! Fans rally but ELP tags in, and he CHOPS Taguchi on the ass! Snapmare and hip attack! ELP is mocking Taguchi but using his signature! ELP fires up, runs, but into a SOMERSAULT HIP ATTACK!

Fans fire up, hot tag to Wato! Wato dodges ELP, DECKS Taiji, then CLOBBERS ELP! Wato KICKS, whips and DROPKICKS! Wato whips ELP corner to corner, runs in but is put on the apron. Wato blocks to GAMANGIRI, but Taiji anchors him! Wato kicks Taiji away, springboards, into a DROPKICK from ELP! Cover, TWO! ELP drags Wato right up, puts him in the corner and tags Taiji. ELP ROCKS Wato, then Taiji snapmares for a NECK TWIST! Wato writhes but Taiji brings him up. Fans rally, Taiji puts Wato up and in a Tree of Woe. Tag to ELP, Taiji runs in to sliding dropkick! ELP runs in to sliding dropkick, too!

Fans rally again as ELP & Taiji both run, to then hop up and stand on Wato’s groin! The ref reprimands, Taguchi runs in but gets DOUBLE CHOPS! Taguchi falls over, Taiji & ELP go out and they each grab a leg. Wato fears for his life as they YANK Taguchi into Wato! And then Wato falls onto Taguchi! Talk about 69… ELP kicks Taguchi out of the ring and he drags Wato up. Wato throws body shots and forearms, then CHOPS! Wato whips corner to corner but ELP goes up and over, ducks and springboards, CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO, but ELP handsprings to a LIONSAULT, and FLOPS as Wato moves!

Fans rally, Wato crawls but ELP drags him away. Wato kick ELP away, Taiji tags in, and Taiji gets ahead of Wato to DECK Taguchi off the corner! Taiji stomps Wato, drags him back up, and scoops to SLAM him! Tag to ELP, and ELP kicks Wato around. Taiji adds stomps, but fans rally up for Wato. Cutest Tag Team double whip, but Wato holds ropes! Wato sobats ELP, front kicks Taiji, and brings them both in, COMPLETE SHOT DDT COMBO! Fans fire up while all three men are down and Taguchi returns! Wato crawls over, hot tag to Taguchi! Taguchi HIP ATTACKS ELP, then HIP ATTACKS Taiji!

The Cutest Tag Team end up on opposite ends, and fans rally as Taguchi starts up the Hip Attack Train! One for ELP, then for Taiji, and back again! Baseball slide APRON HIP for ELP! Taguchi aims, springboards, MISSILE HIP for them both! Fans continue to fire up and Taguchi brings ELP up. Taguchi snap suplexes, Uno Amigo! Another, Dos Amigos! Taguchi goes for the third but ELP resists! They fight for suplex control, and Taguchi puts ELP up top! Fans rally, Taguchi moves aside for Wato’s STEP-UP KNEE! Taguchi then goes up top, SUPERPLEX! Wato adds a PENALTY KICK! SLIDING HIP from Taguchi! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally up again as Taguchi tags Wato. Six or Nine brings ELP up to double whip corner to corner. Taguchi hip attacks, Wato BOOTS, and Taguchi returns for another HIP ATTACK! Taguchi sets ELP in the drop zone, Wato is up top, DOUBLE STOMPS! Cover, Taiji breaks it! Taguchi returns but Taiji dumps him out! Taiji kicks and whips Wato, runs in and DOUBLE KNEES! ELP Electric Chair Lifts Taiji, ASSISTED CODE BREAKER! Taiji holds Wato down, ELP goes up, MOONSAULT KNEE SANDWICH! Cover, TWO! Wato survives and fans fire up! ELP drags Wato up and over, tags in Taiji, then torture racks Wato.

Taiji springboards, FLYING KNEE, and then he keeps going to TRIANGLE JUMP MOONSAULT onto Taguchi! ELP keeps the rack spinning, for a HUGE SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Taiji returns to cover, TWO!! The fans are all fired up but the Cutest Tag Team is furious! Taiji tags ELP back in, and ELP goes up. Taiji gut wrenches, for CIPHER UTAKI! ELP aims, THUNDER KISS 86!! Cover, Taiji intercepts Taguchi, but Taguchi powers through to break it! Fans fire up again and Taguchi runs, into Taiji’s BOOT! Taiji BOOTS Wato back down! ELP says they’ll end this now! Taiji gets Wato set up and ELP tunes the band!

But Wato blocks Sudden Death?! He sends it at Taiji but Taiji ducks, only for Wato to ROUNDHOUSE him down! Wato then leaps at ELP, JUMPING COMPLETE SHOT! Fans fire up and Wato sees Taguchi at the corner! Hot tag to Taguchi! Taguchi wants ELP to stand up! Springboard, but into an ATOMIC DROP! Taguchi is stuck on ropes, SUDDEN DEATH to the ass! ELP reels Taguchi in, tucks the arms, but Taguchi back drops free! ELP sunset flips but Taguchi rolls through, to jackknife! TWO!! Taguchi hurries back up, ELP gets him for a backslide! TWO, and Taguchi La Magistrols! TWO!! Fans rally up again as Taguchi checks the count.

ELP rushes in, but into a fireman’s carry! ELP sunset flips but the tights come down! Taguchi has red undies on as he sits on the cover! Six or Nine wins!!

Winners: Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato, by pinfall (still IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions)

ELP sputters and coughs from having Taguchi’s cheeks in his face! Will he ever get the stench of defeat off him? As for Taguchi & Wato, will they keep winning by the seats of their pants?

 

KOPW 2022 No Ropes Ring Out Match: Toru Yano VS Taichi w/ Miho Abe!

The Producer and the Holy Emperor are taking this wild and sometimes wacky championship trophy to another level, by taking this old school! It’ll be a sumo style match, where there are no ropes, and you win when your opponent gives up, your take their belt belt, or you throw your opponent out! Taichi is so dedicated, he has a kimono and a pillow to sit on! Yano has his signature red folding chair, but also a belt.

As the ropes are removed, Yano gets impatient and nervous, but Taichi practically meditates. Fans applaud as the ring transformation is done, and Miho gives Taichi his nose spray. Perhaps he has allergies now that it’s Spring? Yano and Taichi step up into the ring and fans rally, “Y T R!” “TA-I-CHI!” The introductions are made, the trophy is raised, and Taichi even takes off the pants right away! The belts are strapped on, and it’s time to see who is the Yokozuna of NJPW on top of Mr. KOPW!

Taichi rushes Yano right away! Yano barely holds off, uses the corner post to get away, and fans cheer that first exchange. Yano and Taichi circle, Yano kicks low and whips! Taichi reverses but Yano reverses and back again! They go around and around, they ref almost goes with them! They all get back to center and fans rally up. Taichi and Yano reset, and Yano forearms but Taichi kicks! Forearm, kick, forearm, kick, repeat! Yano then rakes Taichi’s eyes! Yano scoops but Taichi slips off! Taichi waistlocks, Yano switches, Taichi switches, repeat! Yano grabs the ref again, and LOW BLOW MULE KICKS! But Taichi stays up and ENZIGURIS!

Fans fire up as both men are down! Taichi tries to point out what Yano did but it doesn’t really matter now. Fans rally and Taichi slowly sits up. Taichi gets to his feet, fans rally up, and Yano sits up. Taichi kicks but Yano gets under and shoves! Taichi stays away from the edge, so Yano shoves the ref at him! Taichi stays put, Yano runs in, but Taichi moves and Yano shoves the ref OFF the ring! The ref hits railing and is down, Taichi hits AX BOMBER! Taichi powers up and takes his sumo stance, but Yano dodges the elbow! Taichi holds onto the post, and Yano goes to push him off! Taichi rakes Yano’s eyes, and they switch positions!

Taichi tries to CHOKE Yano off the post, but Yano rakes Taichi’s eyes! Taichi staggers away, Yano runs in, but Taichi chokes! Yano arm-drags Taichi away! Taichi gets mad now, he eggs Yano on, and they sumo clinch! Taichi tries to throw Yano but Yano shifts around! They both pull the belts and fans fire up as they’re in a deadlock! Taichi powers up but Yano lifts Taichi! But Taichi turns it with a half nelson and he throws Yano OUT! Taichi wins!!

Winner: Taichi, by ring out (NEW Mr. KOPW 2022)

The Holy Emperor has dethroned the Clown Prince! Yano takes his leave, but will he be back for this trophy soon enough? Speaking of, Taichi accepts the trophy and holds it high! Miho helps Taichi take the belt off and put his robe back on, then Taichi gets the mic.

“I told you I’d win this and bring it to a new stage. And I said I’d take this to the main event. I’ll stay true to my word and do just that.” Fans cheer that sentiment, and Taichi says, “Who is a deserving challenger? Former IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, TAKAGI!” Taichi is calling out the Rampaging Dragon! Taichi knows Takagi has time on his hands right now. So Taichi will let Takagi challenge him! Fans like the sound of that, and Taichi says, “Takagi, I can do anything! Even play Kick the Can, ya bastard! I’ll paint KOPW in MY colors, you fools!” What will Takagi have to say about being called out like this?

 

SANADA is here!

The IWGP US Heavyweight Champion is here, clean shaven and with short hair. He lost in the New Japan Cup due to an orbital bone injury, but it seems he’s back to address the crowd. “In March, I suffered a fractured orbital bone at my left eye. I’ve been sidelined since, and not sure of when I’ll return. So as champion, it’s my duty to relinquish this title for now. Not to get ahead of myself, but I’d like the former champion, Tanahashi, to win this belt back.” Fans applaud that idea. Sanada says when he returns, he wants to beat Tanahashi for this belt again! Fans also cheer that idea!

Wait, here comes Will Ospreay! “Are you for real?!” Ospreay says no, and he gets in the ring. Ospreay snatches the mic. “We ain’t doing this again, Bushido. They tried screwing me on my World Heavyweight Championship, they screwed me on my New Japan Cup, and now, you’re trying to do this again?! Don’t think so! Sanada, I’d like to say I’m sorry for your eye injury, but I’m not sorry! Learn how to protect yourself, mate!” So what Sanada is doing right now is surrendering the title to Ospreay, since he’s the one who caved Sanada’s face in! “Give me the United States Championship right now!” Sanada refuses but Ospreay says, “NOW.”

Wait, here comes The Ace! Ospreay says no, go away, shoo! Go away, this is about Ospreay. Give him the US title! But Tanahashi gets in the ring and gets in Ospreay’s face. Ospreay wants Tanahashi to understand he’s doing something so piss off. But Sanada takes the mic from Ospreay, and he gives it to Tanahashi! Tanahashi tells Ospreay, “SHUT UP! Let me tell you something. I have a good idea. We fight for the US Heavyweight Championship at Fukuoka!” Fans really like the sound of that! Ospreay asks if Tanahashi remembers the last time these two faced off. But fans applaud, “Let’s Go, Ace!”

Ospreay says fine! If that’s what Tanahashi wants, Ospreay will see him there! Ospreay grumbles all the way to the back, and Tanahashi tells “Sana-yan. Get well. I’ll be waiting.” Fans applaud that and Tanahashi offers the mic back. Sanada takes it, and says, “OI, Ryogoku! See you next time!” When and where will we see Sanada again? And who will he be chasing for the IWGP US Heavyweight Championship when the time comes?

 

NEVER Openweight Championship: EVIL w/ Dick Togo VS Hiromu Takahashi!

The King of Darkness is also the King of NEVER, as he and the House of Torture still have the Six Man Tag titles. but will the Ticking Timebomb blow that all up? Or will Hiromu have to accept that Everything is Evil?

Hiromu is wearing new black pants, with Evil’s name written all over them! Is this Hiromu getting in Evil’s head? Or a sign that Evil is in Hiromu’s? The introductions are made, the singles belt is raised, and we see if Darkness Falls on Hiromu-chan World!

Dick and Evil Too Sweet but fans rally up for “HI-RO-MU!” The bell rings, but Evil bails right out. Hiromu eggs Evil on but Evil goes looking under the ring. The ref reprimands but Evil still brings out chairs! Hiromu dares Evil to do something then, but when Evil hesitates, Hiromu rushes out after him! Evil hurries to get back in the ring, but Hiromu slides back in, too! Hiromu was a step ahead and fans applaud. Evil eggs Hiromu on, and Hiromu rushes in, but Evil catches him in a clinch! But Hiromu escapes Everything to fireman’s carry! Evil slips out, fireman’s carries back but Hiromu slips out! Hiromu reels Evil in, but Evil escapes before he can steal the STO!

Fans cheer this exchange but Evil bails out of the ring. Hiromu eggs Evil on but Evil talks with Dick. Hiromu isn’t thrown off, he is ready for Evil as he gets in with a kick. Hiromu whips, Evil reverses but Hiromu sees Dick there and slows down. Hiromu also doesn’t let Evil get at him, he goes out to egg Dick on! The ref reprimands Dick and Evil protests, but the ref tells Dick to go around the corner. But Hiromu eggs Dick on more with some “Kiss this!” Dick is furious, especially as Hiromu taunts him with… nipples? But Hiromu then drags Evil out of the ring to RAM into railing! Commentary almost falls over!

Hiromu gets on the apron and he FLYING SHOTGUNS Evil into more railing! Hiromu hurries to the other side and hops back onto the apron, another FLYING SHOTGUN! Fans fire up with Hiromu and he mockingly asks Evil what’s wrong. Hiromu drags Evil up, but Dick barks at Hiromu. Hiromu eggs Dick on, then Hiromu chases him! Dick gets in the ring and Hiromu follows, Evil CLOBBERS Hiromu! The King of Darkness pulled off a trick after all! Fans rally up for “HI-RO-MU!” but Evil drags him up. Evil throws Hiromu out, then goes out after him, to RAM into the timekeeper’s area! Down goes Abe-san!

Evil drags Hiromu up and away while the ref is busy with helping Abe-san. Evil puts a chair around Hiromu’s head and then he gets the other, HOME RUN! Hiromu flops down and Evil leaves him behind. Fans rally up for Hiromu but Evil stands on a corner triumphantly. Dick eggs Hiromu on now but Hiromu gets himself up. The ring count climbs, Evil sits in the middle of the ring as he waits. The count is 10 of 20 and Hiromu drags himself up. Hiromu staggers into the ring at 13! But Evil is there to kick at him and taunt him. Hiromu throws chops but they’re not that strong, so Evil whips him into bare buckles!

The blue buckle pad is gone, the Bullet Club Special comes into play! Evil pushes Hiromu over and covers, but the ref refuses! He’s learned from Red Shoes not to take any of these shenanigans lightly! Evil is mad, he throws Hiromu out and argues with the ref, but Dick taunts Hiromu. Hiromu takes a swing but Dick dodges. Dick then DECKS Hiromu! The ref misses it, Dick puts Hiromu in, Evil covers, TWO! Evil tries again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Not even the deep leg hook worked! Fans rally up for “HI-RO-MU!” as he grits his teeth. Evil storms up to Hiromu but Hiromu CHOPS! Evil still isn’t bothered, he rakes eyes and whips!

Hiromu ducks and dodges to RANA! Fans rally up again and Hiromu stands at the ropes. Evil runs in, into a BOOT! Hiromu hooks up a HANGING HEADSCISSOR! Hiromu lets go as the ref counts, and Hiromu RAMS Dick into railing! Commentary almost falls over all over again! Hiromu gets back in to run at Evil in the corner, clothesline! Snapmare and basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up again for “HI-RO-MU!” as both men are down. Hiromu gets up and he hobbles over to drag Evil up by his hair. Hiromu reels Evil in, but Evil fights the suplex by pulling Hiromu’s hair!

The ref reprimands, Hiromu breaks free but Evil pokes him in the eye! Evil whips Hiromu but he stops himself! Hiromu then dodges Evil and Evil hits steel! Hiromu fireman’s carries, CORNER DEATH VALLEY, but to the red corner! Fans fire up with Hiromu as he drags Evil up. Another fireman’s carry but Evil slips away and goes outside. Hiromu follows, chases Evil back to the ring, but Evil stays on the apron. Hiromu sunset flips but Evil holds onto ropes! Dick creeps over but Hiromu BOOTS him! Then he POWERBOMBS Evil onto Dick! Fans fire up as Hiromu grins. Fans rally up, “HI-RO-MU!” but Hiromu changes the rhythm to “CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!”

Hiromu builds speed as he makes a full lap around the ring! He comes in, but Evil uses a Young Lion as a shield! Then Evil rakes Hiromu’s eyes, and reels him in, FISHERMAN BUSTER to the floor! They are both down but fans rally back up with “HI-RO-MU!” Evil drags himself up with the railing, and he hobbles over to Hiromu. Evil drags Hiromu up, puts him in the ring, and then he reels Hiromu in for a fireman’s carry. DARKNESS FALLS! Cover, TWO!! Hiromu survives and Evil is furious, but the fans continue to rally! Evil slashes his throat, drags Hiromu up, and EVERYTHING- NO! Hiromu clamps on with a clinch!

Evil CLUBS Hiromu down but Hiromu just gets up to clinch again! Evil grabs Hiromu’s hair and throws him down! The ref reprimands, the fans rally up, but Evil stands on Hiromu’s neck. The ref reprimands more, Evil steps off, and he throws his elbow pad at Hiromu. Evil runs, into a SUPERKICK! Hiromu fires up and the fans are with him! Hiromu runs but Dick trips him up! Evil gets in the ref’s face, Hiromu swings on Dick but into the SPOILER CHOKER! But Hiromu fights the choker off! Hiromu’s free, Evil runs in, but Hiromu dodges and sends Evil into Dick! Evil comes back, drags Hiromu up, but Hiromu wrenches into a pump handle! HIROMU ROLL!

But Dick gets in the ring and distracts the ref!! Hiromu would’ve won by now!! Hiromu lets Evil go, but Evil shoves him into the ref! The ref is down, Dick stomps away on Hiromu! Evil joins in, and then they decide to put one out on Hiromu. They get Hiromu up, but Hiromu fights off Magic Killer! Hiromu then lifts Evil and puts him on Dick’s shoulders, to steal MAGIC KILLER!! Dick can’t believe it! Dick hurries after Hiromu but Hiromu gives him EVERYTHING IS EVIL! Hiromu fires up and the fans are thunderous! Hiromu kicks Dick out, drags Evil back up, fireman’s carry for TIMEBOMB!! Cover, TWO!?!

Evil survives and fans are thunderous again! They rally for “HI-RO-MU!” as hard as they can! Hiromu gets back up, he drags Evil back up but in a dragon sleeper. Evil fights with haymakers, but Hiromu turns him around, for VICTORY ROYALE! Cover, TWO! Hiromu roars and fans fire up again! Hiromu tries the dragon sleeper again but Evil fights free. Evil shoves the ref away before the LOW BLOW MULE KICK! But then Hiromu LOW BLOW UPPERCUTS! Both men are even and fans rally up! Hiromu growls and gets up. Hiromu runs, Evil uses the ref as a shield! Hiromu pushes the ref aside, EVERYTHING-

NO! Hiromu fights it off and tries to steal it, but Evil fights that off! Evil swings but Hiromu spins him around, and wrenches to pump handle, HIROMU ROLL! TWO!! Evil is surprised, too! But Hiromu dodges to HIROMU-CHAN BOMBER! Fans are thunderous again and Hiromu roars! Hiromu drags Evil back up, dragon sleeper and inverted suplex, but Evil slips off and whips Hiromu into the bare buckles! But Hiromu comes right back?! Into EVERYTHING IS EVIL!!! Cover, Evil wins!!

Winner: Evil, by pinfall (still NEVER Openweight Champion)

Hiromu’s fury blows up in his face! Evil survives the Timebomb, but will Hiromu try again some day? But wait, here comes Tama Tonga! Evil runs away before the Good Bad Guy even gets in the ring! But wait, here comes Yujiro Takahashi! Tokyo Pimp attacks Tama, bumps him off buckles, then he and Evil stomp away! But here comes Tanga Loa! Silverback scoops Yujiro for APE SHIT!! Evil runs in, into a BOOT! GUN STUN!! Fans fire up and Tama gets a mic to say, “Evil! You betrayed me. I’ll never forget you. It’s time for my payback. I will get my revenge.” Is GoD going to tear down the House?

 

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI VS Great-O-Khan & Jeff Cobb!

#BISHAMON was accused of committing the crime of bringing weapons to this “sacred” ring, but the United Empire is not the law! Will the Fierce Warrior & Head Hunter defy the Dominator and the Hawaiian Hulk? Or will Khan & Cobb conquer them and the Heavyweight Tag Division?

The introductions are made, Khan flaunts his certificate of heroism, the belts are raised, and the winners here will define justice!

Khan starts and he offers Goto a handshake. Cobb isn’t sure, but the fans rally for it. Goto accepts the handshake! Fans applaud the sportsmanship, and then Cobb offers a handshake to Hashi. Hashi accepts, fans applaud again, but Goto-Hashi anticipated the cheap shots! They block the kicks, Hashi dropkicks Cobb’s other leg and Goto knees Khan low! Goto CLUBS Khan and the bell rings to get this on record! Goto-Hashi double whip Khan to ropes, then run him over! Hashi runs, hip toss senton! Cobb returns, he blocks Goto’s drop toehold, but Hashi dropkicks the other leg out! Cobb falls onto Khan!

Fans rally up as Goto-Hashi hammer away on Cobb! They CLUB him back down onto Khan! Then they throw Cobb out and drag Khan back up. They hammer him, too! Fans fire up and Hashi stays in with Khan. Hashi CLUBS Khan, but Khan gets up and eggs him on. Hashi CHOPS Khan and Khan drops to a knee! Khan gets up to grab Hashi’s ear! the ref reprimands but Khan CLUBS the air! Khan whips, Hashi reverses but Khan reverses back, and reels Hashi into some kinda snap swinging neckbreaker, with a fisherman hold! TWO, but Khan hurries to toss Hashi! Khan DECKS Goto and Cobb stomps Hashi!

Cobb digs his knee into Hashi while Khan stomps away on Goto by the railing! The ref reprimands and Khan lets off to egg Goto on. Cobb RAMS Hashi into railing, Khan gets in the ring, and Cobb puts Hashi in. Cover, TWO! Fans rally but Khan drags Hashi up and over. Tag to Cobb, they mug Hashi, and then Cobb CLUBS Hashi on the back. Cobb stands on Hashi and uses him as a surfboard! Cobb mocks Goto’s chi hand sign then he steps off. Goto coaches Hashi but Cobb whips him to ropes. Hashi dropkicks the legs! Then gets a leg for a DRAGON SCREW! Fans rally up and Hashi crawls over, but Khan trips Goto off the apron!

Cobb drags Hashi up, reels him in and CLOBBERS him from behind! Khan sends Goto into railing, then Cobb hauls Hashi for a RUNNING SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Fans rally but Cobb drags Hashi up and puts him in the corner. Tag to Khan, Khan sits up on Hashi’s head! Cobb taunts Goto but the ref keeps him back. Khan pulls on Hashi’s arms but the ref counts. Khan hops off and pushes Hashi down, to then put him in the THRONE CRADLE! TWO, but Khan BOOTS Hashi down! Cover, Goto breaks it! Fans rally as Khan warns Goto. Khan wants to make Hashi kiss his boot, but Hashi fights up to throw body shots!

Khan CLUBS Hashi, whips him to ropes, but Hashi hits a BLOCKBUSTER! Fans fire up, Hsahi crawls, hot tag to Goto! Goto DECKS Cobb, but Khan CLUBS Goto! Khan ROCKS and Mongolian Chops! Khan whips, Goto reverses and runs in to MURAMASA! Then BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Goto as he drags Khan up. Khan breaks free, kicks low and runs, but Goto follows to then LARIAT! Cobb gets in, Goto kicks him and reels him in, but Cobb suplexes Goto instead! Goto slips out but Cobb elbows him away. Cobb gets Khan up, they go after Goto and mug him in the corner. They whip corner to corner, Goto dodges Khan to CLOBBER Cobb!

Goto then fireman’s carries but Khan slips off! Khan waistlocks but Goto backs him into the corner! Hashi runs in, corner clothesline for Khan! Feed to Goto’s kick, and he hooks Khan up, GOTO GOTO HUNT! Fans fire up and they drag Khan back up! Dragon sleeper and leg lift, but Khan kicks Hashi away! Goto fires off knees, and URA GTR! Cover, TWO! Khan survives but Goto keeps focus. Goto dragon sleepers, but Cobb CLOBBERS Goto! Cobb hurries to his corner and fans rally up. Goto and Khan slowly stir, they go forehead to forehead, and they throw forearms! Fans rally as they go back and forth, harder and harder!

Goto gets the edge, Khan staggers but he kicks low! Mongolian Chop! Khan tries another but Goto blocks! Goto knees low, runs, but into a drop sayanagi! Fans fire up and Khan tags in Cobb! Cobb drags Goto up, CHOPS him and throws forearms and uppercuts! Then a DROPKICK! Goto ends up in a corner, Cobb hauls him up to whip into the corner! Then RUNNING BACK SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! GACHIMUCHI MOONSAULT FLOPS as Goto dodges! Fans fire up, Goto crawls and tags in Hashi! Hashi dropkicks Cobb’s leg again! Then runs in to clothesline at the corner! Hashi puts the leg on ropes, runs side to side and dropkicks the leg!

Cobb staggers, Hashi turns him, NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up more and Hashi whips Cobb to a corner. Hashi runs in to CHOP! And whips Cobb, only for Cobb to TACKLE him into the corner! Khan runs in to clothesline! Cobb hits a back elbow! Feed to Khan’s HITSUJIGOROSHI! Cobb gets the legs, Khan thrashes Hashi, inside the Fubuki, and then they hit MARINE! GACHIMUCHI MOONSAULT! Cover, Goto breaks it! Khan CLUBS Goto and throws him out! The Empire coordinates, they drag Hashi up, Cobb fireman’s carries and Khan runs, but Goto trips Khan up! Hashi slips off but Cobb switches!

Hashi fights the suplex, breaks free with an elbow, and he baits Cobb into the fireman’s carry! SUPERKICK and USHIGOROSHI! The Fierce Flash hits, but that’s not all! Bishamon drags Cobb back up and fans rally! Dragon sleeper, leg lift, but Khan HELL STABS Hashi! And BOOTS Goto! Hashi runs back in and LARIATS Khan down! Fans fire up with Hashi and he eggs Cobb on! Cobb stands, Hashi runs, LARIAT! Cobb stays up so Hashi fires off forearms and a CHOP! Hashi whips, Cobb reverses to reel Hashi in, ATHLETIC PLEX! Cover, TWO! Hashi survives and fans fire up again! Cobb hurries and hauls Hashi back up!

Cobb whips, but Hashi LARIATS! Cobb stays up to ROCK Hashi with a forearm! Hashi SUPERKICKS back! Hashi reels Cobb in, for a DESTROYER!! Hashi WRECKS Khan with a dropkick! Goto returns, fans are thunderous, and they get Cobb back up! SHOUTO!! Cover, Khan barrels through Goto to break it!! Fans are thunderous again while all four men are down! Goto snarls and he drags Khan back up. Khan clamps on the IRON CLAW! But Hashi SUPERKICKS Khan down! Bishamon reset and get Cobb up, but Cobb fights free of the leg lift! Hashi tries the pump handle but Cobb fights that, too!

Cobb gets free but Hashi LARIATS, and Goto HEADBUTTS! Hashi rolls Cobb up, TWO!! Hashi gets a KNEEBAR! And Goto intercepts Khan with an STF!! The Empire endures, Khan fights up but Goto still has a SLEEPER! Cobb pries at the hold, Goto throws Khan out and it’s all on Hashi! Cobb kicks with his free leg, fans are thunderous, Khan throws Goto into railing! Cobb gets Hashi’s arm and Khan gets the IRON CLAW on Hashi! Khan drags Hashi off Cobb for the ELIM- NO! Hashi slips out, full nelsons then pump handles, but Khan slips out of Karma! Feed to Cobb’s BIG forearm! IRON CLAW, pump handle?! ELIMINATOR MKII!!

But Goto returns! He fires off forearms on The Empire, and especially on Cobb! But Goto turns around into a Mongolian Chop! Khan runs, but Goto follows! Only for Cobb to fireman’s carry! Khan runs in, IMPERIAL DROP!! Fans are electric as Khan drags Hashi up with the Iron Claw! Feed to TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! Cover, the Empire wins!!

Winners: Great-O-Khan & Jeff Cobb, by pinfall (NEW IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions)

Bishamon loses, Chaos has been conquered! Cobb shouts, “I told you!” and Khan even has his certificate to hold up alongside these belts! Khan gets the mic to say, “Hail us, peasants!” Fans applaud but Khan says, “I can’t hear you! You are in the presence of the NEW tag champions! HAIL US!” The fans do applaud louder, Khan says, “Justice always prevails. Understand? You guys are the bad guys! Bishamon sounds like a punk rock band.

“Hey, what’s with that face? Are you crying? Would pancakes make you feel better? Without the belts, you’re nothing again! Are you asking for another chance? If you beg and plead, perhaps we’ll give you another chance.” But try as they might, they won’t beat Khan and Cobb! They are the United Empire, HAIL THEM! Now that Khan & Cobb have these belts, will the Empire be dripping with gold?

 

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: El Desperado VS SHO!

The Rogue Luchador has been ambushed and blindsided and beat up by the Murder Machine time and again, and enough is enough! Will Desperado give it all back to Sho with interest? Or will the House of Torture have even more gold now?

Sho makes his entrance, but then hurries to find a hiding place as Desperado makes his entrance! Sho pounces on Desperado from the bleachers! The tricks start early with Sho, and he POSTS Desperado! Sho grabs the IWGP title but the ref tells him to give it over. Sho says fine, but it’ll be his soon enough! Sho drags Desperado up and into the ring, then the bell sounds to make this official. Sho then just throws Desperado back out! Sho whips Desperado into railing! Desperado staggers and stumbles away but Sho chokes him with a shirt! The ref reprimands, Sho lets go and the ref confiscates the shirt.

Sho stomps Desperado, drags him up and whips him into more railing! Desperado drops to the floor, and Sho hurries to bring out a chair. The ref stops Sho from approaching Desperado with that chair, so Sho lets him have it. But Desperado fires back with forearms! Sho rakes Desperado’s eyes! And whips again, only for Desperado to reverse and send Sho into railing! Desperado then clotheslines Sho over the railing and into the front row! Sho writhes right in front of fans as they rally up! Desperado pours out a bottle of water on Sho’s head! He claims he’s helping Sho refresh himself.

Desperado drags Sho up by his ear, and CHOPS him off his feet! The ref reprimands, he wants this back in the ring, but Desperado stomps away on Sho! Then Desperado dribbles Sho’s head off the floor! The ref reprimands, Desperado stops but also argues with the ref. Desperado then drags Sho up, puts him in, and fans cheer. Desperado drags Sho up as fans rally, and Desperado whips corner to corner hard! Desperado then runs in to clothesline! Sho sits down so Desperado stomps away! The ref reprimands and Sho sputters, but Desperado gives him more stomps! The ref has Desperado back off, but Desperado goes back for more!

Fans rally but the ref makes Desperado let off. Desperado shoves the ref over! Sho gets up and he throws forearms. Desperado doesn’t budge and he just eggs Sho on. Sho throws another forearm but Desperado SLAPS him down! Desperado stands Sho back up, whips him to ropes, but Sho reverses. Desperado holds ropes, Sho runs in but is sent tumbling out! Desperado builds speed, but Sho has the chair! Desperado DIVES into a chair shot! Fans can’t help but yelp as Desperado ends up stuck in the ropes! Sho gets back in, drags Desperado from the ropes and drops him on the mat. Fans rally up for Desperado as Sho looms over him.

Sho goes after the mask! Sho tries to hide it from the ref but he sees! The ref reprimands and makes Sho stop, but Sho shoves the ref down! Sho stomps Desperado, drags him back up, and throws him out of the ring. Desperado staggers to the railing, Sho goes after him with the chair! He JAMS then SMACKS Desperado on the back, then SMACKS the arm! The ref tries to stop Sho but Sho shoves him away to SMACK the arm again! Sho grins but fans rally up. The ref and Sho argue, Sho wrenches Desperado’s arm with a knuckle lock! Sho keeps on the arm, and wraps it around railing to pull on it!

The ref counts, Sho pushes him away again and BOOTS the railing to jam the bad arm! Sho again argues with the ref but he goes into the ring because he wants a count-out. Fans rally as the count climbs, and Desperado manages to sit up at 6 of 20. Desperado stands at 8, hobbles over to the ring at 10 and stands on the apron, only for Sho to BLAST him off! Desperado hits railing and a table! Desperado crashes down and the ref checks on him. Fans rally and Desperado stirs, so Sho goes out to see what’s going on. The ref has Sho stay back, and Desperado slowly sits up. Fans rally up more and Sho taunts Desperado.

Desperado crawls but Sho drags him back to the ring. Fans rally more as Sho looms over Desperado. Sho grabs the bad arm for a DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Desperado endures, even as Sho pulls on the arm! Fans rally hard as ever and Desperado crawls with his free arm and legs, to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts and Sho lets go at 4! Fans continue to rally as Desperado clutches his bad arm. Sho taunts Desperado and kicks at him. Desperado gets up and eggs Sho on. Sho kicks him more but Desperado CHOPS! Sho eggs Desperado on now so Desperado CHOPS again! Sho still eggs Desperado on, then he blocks the chop to rake the eyes!

Sho kicks but Desperado blocks! Desperado CLUBS the leg, ROCKS Sho, and wrenches for an OLYMPIC SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down again! Sho crawls away but Desperado pursues. Sho goes out of the ring, but Desperado DIVES! The Somersault Suicida hits railings and knocks Milano Collection over! Fans are thunderous for that one! Desperado fires up and fans fire up more, and Desperado hurries to put Sho back in. Desperado drags Sho up, hooks him up, GUITARRA DE LA MUERTA! Cover, TWO! Desperado hurries up top, leaps, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Sho sputters, Desperado roars and fans fire up again!

Desperado drags Sho up, reels him in, but the bad arm can’t hook Sho’s arms. Sho wrenches out, ducks Desperado’s clothesline, and waistlocks to pop Desperado up, into an ARMBAR! But Desperado hurries to clasp hands! Sho thrashes around and he gets the full extension! But Desperado moves around, only for Sho to reel him into the SNAKEBITE! Desperado endures, reaches back, ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Sho lets go at 4! Fans fire up again while Sho grows frustrated. Sho crawls away while fans rally. Sho stands on Desperado’s head but Desperado pushes the foot away. Sho KICKS Desperado in the chest!

Desperado stays up so Sho KICKS him again! And again! Desperado staggers to ropes but he gets in Sho’s face! Sho ROCKS Desperado with a forearm, but Desperado comes back again. Sho ROCKS Desperado again but that’s still not enough! Sho throws another forearm but Desperado just keeps coming back! Sho dares Desperado to try, but then he wrenches the bad wrist! The ref reprimands the finger bending, they end up on ropes and Sho wraps the arm around ropes! The ref reprimands again and counts, but Sho lets off to throw boxing elbows! Sho then runs, and clotheslines Desperado against ropes! Sho keeps moving but Desperado elbows!

Desperado runs, Sho elbows him back! Sho runs, Desperado goes the other way, but Sho uses the ref as a shield! Desperado moves him aside, Sho SPEARS Desperado down! Fans fire up while both men are down again. Sho roars as he gets up, he scoops Desperado but Desperado fights free to ripcord and SPINEBUSTER! Then he turns Sho over to gut wrench, GUITARRA DEL ANGEL! Cover, TWO!! Sho survives and Desperado clutches the bad arm, but fans keep rallying. Desperado growls and he drags Sho back up. Desperado fights through the pain to underhook, but Sho shoves free of Pinche Loco, sending Desperado into the ref!

Sho LOW BLOWS Desperado! The fans rally up but Sho crawls to his corner to grab his friend, the wrench! Desperado stands, ducks the wrench, and tucks Sho in for a BASTARD DRIVER! Sho ends up stuck all folded up but Desperado can’t make a cover right now. Desperado gets up, he scuffs Sho, and he grabs the wrench! Fans rally, Desperado considers what he can do with it, and decides to throw the wrench away. Fans cheer the fair play, and Desperado says too bad, Sho. PINCH- NO! Sho fights out, and tucks Desperado in, CROSS ARM PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! But into SNAKEBITE!!

Desperado moves around, reaches out, but Sho cranks harder on the hold! Fans rally but Desperado is fading! The ref checks, the hand falls once! The ref checks again, Desperado wags his finger as he gets a second wind! Desperado crawls, reaches out, and gets a ROPEBREAK with his foot! Sho lets go in frustration and fans are thunderous again! Sho says he’ll finish this, and he drags Desperado up to reel him in. Sho double pump handles, but Desperado slips out! Desperado tries to reel Sho in but he holds tight, and they almost hit the ref! Sho uses that to LOW BLOW Desperado again! Sho is laughing like a lunatic!

Sho drags Desperado up, but Desperado spins out to LOCO MONO! Fans fire up with Desperado as he roars and pounds the mat! Sho flounders about, Desperado LOCO MONOS again! The ref reprimands about the closed fist but Desperado just underhooks for PINCHE LOCO!! Cover a la the Deadman, Desperado wins!

Winner: El Desperado, by pinfall (still IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion)

The Murder Machine tried so many of his tricks, but he just couldn’t finish the job! Will the House of Torture be disappointed in Sho having nothing to show for his efforts?

As for Desperado, the Young Lions ice his elbow and bring him the belt. The ref helps him stand so he can celebrate this victory. But wait, Taiji makes his way back out to the ring. The Bone Soldier gets in the ring and he gets the mic to say, “Despy. Did you really win? It would have been more interesting if Sho had won. Oh well. You know what me being here means, right?” Desperado scratches his head, pretending to not know. Taiji says he is “always on the hunt for that belt.” Desperado’s mentioned a lot of names, but what does he think of Taiji? Will Desperado defend that belt against someone from another promotion? But before Desperado can answer, the lights go down!

Desperado asks what’s going on. And when the lights come up, we see someone has joined them in the ring! Who is this? He unzips his jacket to show he is with the UNITED EMPIRE! Ospreay has teased there would be a new member, and here he is! This is Francesco Akira, originally from All Japan! He has a lighter, and then he snatches the mic! “See you at the Best of the Super Juniors! BRUCIARE! <You will burn!>” Francesco leaves, and Desperado finally addresses the issue. Francesco Akira’s is a name he mentioned, so Desperado would love to face him since he came all this way. But Francesco did mention the Super Juniors…

And also, didn’t Taiji lose a title match today? Desperado says he would’ve turned down an ordinary challenge, but Taiji is anything but ordinary. “Let’s do it. I’m glad for this. I faced you as a champion, but I didn’t feel like I fit the bill then. This time, I’ll step to you proudly, as champion. Now, play my song as I leave, will you?” The music does play, and the champ takes his leave. Will the Burning Prodigy look to secure yet another belt for the Empire? Will the Bone Soldier do the same for Bullet Club? Or will the Rogue Luchador keep this title with Suzuki-Gun?

 

IWGP World Heavyweight Championship: Kazuchika Okada VS Zack Sabre Jr!

The Rainmaker stands atop NJPW, but the Submission Master was still the one to win the New Japan Cup. ZSJ says he has grown but Okada has stagnated these last few years, and that is why ZSJ will win! Will ZSJ leave here with both trophy and title? Or will Okada find a way to still reign?

The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who is truly the face of Strong Style!

Fans rally up, “O-KA-DA!” “Z S J!” at the bell and the two slowly circle. They feel things out, tie up but then break. They circle more, ZSJ rushes in but Okada avoids the leg pick as well as the crawling leg guard. They tie up again, ZSJ gets around to waistlock then drag Okada down and float to a headlock. Okada keeps his shoulders up, fights his way up, but ZSJ floats around. Okada throws ZSJ off but ZSJ has his leg guard up. ZSJ pushes forward but Okada is ready, so ZSJ backs off. Fans cheer the exchange, and rally as the two reset. They feel out knuckle locks, tie up, but ZSJ wrenches and then trips Okada, to stand on an arm.

ZSJ bends that arm back, twists the wrist, but Okada rolls and trips ZSJ back. Okada has a toehold but ZSJ fights back to get a body scissor. ZSJ squeezes, Okada moves around, ZSJ tries for an armbar but Okada pushes to a high stack. ZSJ lets go but Okada has a toehold. ZSJ gets his foot free, turns over, but Okada lets go before ZSJ can reel him in. The fans cheer the newest exchange as the two reset again. ZSJ and Okada circle as fans rally, “O-KA-DA!” “Z S J!” They feel out a new grapple. Okada gets a leg, then he trips ZSJ to have the toehold. ZSJ gets Okada’s other leg, and now we have dueling holds!

But ZSJ quickly cranks the foot with a HEEL HOOK! Okada scrambles and gets the ropebreak! Fans cheer and Okada bails out to walk off the leg pain. The rallying continues while ZSJ waits patiently. Okada takes his time, and he returns before Red Shoes starts the count. ZSJ and Okada circle again, tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and are in a deadlock. Okada gets a headlock, grinds ZSJ, but ZSJ endures and fights up. ZSJ powers out but Okada runs him over with a shoulder! Fans applaud, and Okada brings ZSJ back up. Okada ROCKS ZSJ with a forearm, then CLUBS him with an elbow.

Okada turns ZSJ, for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, ONE!! Fans applaud but Okada clamps onto ZSJ with a chinlock. ZSJ endures, pries at the fingers, and fans rally as Okada cranks harder on the hold. ZSJ reaches out, ROPEBREAK with a foot. Red Shoes counts, Okada lets off at 3. Okada then drags ZSJ up to scoop and SLAM! Okada goes to the apron, slingshot but ZSJ avoids the senton! ZSJ catches the haymaker for an armlock! ZSJ uses that to drag Okada up and out, to then clamp on an ARMBAR on the apron! Red Shoes reprimands as ZSJ drags Okada to the floor! Okada can only endure as ZSJ turns him over for a DISARMER!

Okada endures, so ZSJ STOMPS the arm, and fans are all fired up with him! ZSJ goes back into the ring and Red Shoes starts the count. Okada sits up at 9 of 20, gets to his feet at 14, and wants ZSJ to stay back. Red Shoes has ZSJ stay back as Okada rolls into the ring, but then ZSJ rushes right in to knee Okada in the side! ZSJ grabs at the arm but Okada is in the ropes! Red Shoes reprimands but ZSJ twists and tortures the arm to then STOMP it again! Fans applaud the technical savagery and ZSJ gets Okada for a short arm scissor. Okada fights up, ZSJ uses his feet to block Okada’s eyes but Okada still gets a stack cover, TWO!

ZSJ lets Okada free and KICKS him in the bad arm! Fans rally, ZSJ stands on Okada’s shoulder and bad arm, then digs his heels and toes into the muscles. Okada endures but ZSJ turns him over to get a DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Okada endures more, even as ZSJ adds the headscissors for a Tesco Meal Deal! Okada reaches out with his foot and gets the ROPEBREAK! ZSJ shifts his grip but still has to let go. Fans rally up again, “O-KA-DA!” “Z S J!” as ZSJ kicks at Okada. ZSJ toys with “big boy” Okada, but Okada gets up to throw forearms. ZSJ eggs Okada on, Okada throws another forearm, but ZSJ wrenches to an ELBOW BREAKER!

ZSJ runs, but into a FLAPJACK! Both men are down and fans rally up! Okada stands, he fires off forearms then whips, but ZSJ reverses. Okada blows through the boot to CLOBBER ZSJ with an elbow! ZSJ goes to a corner but Okada is on him with a whip corner to corner. Okada runs in to back elbow, then he kicks low to DDT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up, “Z S J! “O-KA-DA!” Okada traps ZSJ’s left arm and leg together and puts the other arm in a top wristlock! ZSJ endures, eggs Okada on, and Okada wrenches on the hold more! Okada lets off to then omoplata, and he turns ZSJ over to grind the other arm!

ZSJ moves around and fans rally, Okada flips ZSJ to a cover! TWO, but Okada keeps cool. ZSJ blocks the Alabama lift, steps over and has a standing armlock! ARM TWIST! Both men are down and fans continue to rally. ZSJ sits up to kick at Okada again and again. Okada is just annoyed, but ZSJ keeps kicking. Okada gets up, ZSJ kicks him more, then fires a EuroUpper! Okada ROCKS ZSJ with a forearm, so ZSJ throws a forearm back. Okada forearms again, ZSJ brushes it off and forearms again. The two get in each other’s face, Okada fires several forearms but ZSJ EuroUppers the bad arm!

Okada staggers away, clutching the elbow. Fans fire up, ZSJ runs in but Okada pops him up to the Alabama! But ZSJ grabs the arm to turn Air Raid into IRON OCTOPUS! Okada starts to fade but he powers back up! He powers through to give ZSJ the REVERSE NECKBREAKER! Fans are fired up and they rally again as both men are down. ZSJ and Okada slowly get up, and Okada shakes out the bad arm to gut wrench. ZSJ blocks that, shifts around and has a cobra twist! But Okada switches it back onto ZSJ! ZSJ switches back, and he has the cobra twist locked in! Okada endures, pries free, and hiop tosses ZSJ down!

Okada gets the arm for the MONEY CLIP! But ZSJ slips out and around to put Okada in a straitjacket stretch! Okada endures, arm-drags free and has the MONEY CLIP! ZSJ fights up and arm-drags free, then hooks Okada up into the IRON OCTOPUS! Okada endures, pops free, gut wrenches, but ZSJ slips out! Okada hooks ZSJ up to IRON OCTOPUS! Fans cheer the exchange, but ZSJ crab walks to the ROPEBREAK! Okada lets go quickly and fans continue to rally. Okada drags ZSJ up, scoops and SLAMS him in the drop zone, then goes up top. MACHO ELBOW! But it was the bad arm, so it slows Okada down a bit.

Okada still strikes the Rainmaker Pose! Fans fire up, Okada reels ZSJ in, but ZSJ elbows free. Okada runs in but ZSJ dodges the shotgun! ZSJ leaps on for the GUILLOTINE! But Okada powers out with a back drop! ZSJ gets up in a huff, but Okada blocks the boot and spins ZSJ! ZSJ avoids the discus to runs, and he fakes out Okada’s dropkick! ZSJ leaps with a seated senton, that becomes a TRIANGLE HOLD! Fans fire up while Okada endures! ZSJ squeezes tight and Okada turns red! But he still tries for a stack cover. ZSJ keeps his shoulders up, so Okada deadlift POWERBOMBS! But ZSJ holds on!

Okada stands to stomp away on ZSJ! ZSJ lets go, but he basement dropkicks Okada down! Fans fire up while both men are down again. ZSJ crawls over, gets Okada’s arm and isolates it to STOMP it again! ZSJ then runs, but into Okada’s DROPKICK! Okada roars and fans fire up as he stands ZSJ up! Ripcord, but ZSJ leaps to FLYING ARMBAR! Fans fire up again, ZSJ shifts right into a TRIANGLE HOLD! Then to an omoplata, and he hooks the other arm! CLARKY CAT!! And with a crossface add-on! Okada endures, fans are thunderous, but ZSJ changes it up to JIM BREAKS ARMBAR!!

Okada still endures, ZSJ thrashes him around, but Okada kicks his way to the ROPEBREAK! ZSJ lets go in frustration, and Okada flops out of the ring. Fans rally hard as ever for “O-KA-DA!” “Z S J!” The ring count starts while Okada is still down, but then ZSJ goes out to fetch Okada. ZSJ apologizes to Red Shoes, but he tells Okada to get up. ZSJ KICKS Okada, and Okada sits up. ZSJ KICKS him again and fans rally up. ZSJ eggs Okada on then KICKS him again! Okada sits up but ZSJ gets a running start! Okada blocks the Penalty Kick! Okada stands, and ZSJ SLAPS him! And SLAPS him again!

Okada reels ZSJ in for a gut wrench! TOMBSTONE to the floor!! Fans fire up while both men are down again! Red Shoes starts the count again, it goes to 10 of 20 before either sits up. Okada is up at 12, and he drags ZSJ up at 15. Okada puts ZSJ in at 17 and fans cheer the sportsmanship. Fans rally up again, “O-KA-DA!” “Z S J!” as Okada climbs. ZSJ stands, turns around and Okada hits a BIG missile dropkick! ZSJ tumbles to ropes and Okada scowls. Okada drags him back up, gut wrenches, SPINNING TOMBSTONE! And then DISCUS LARIAT! Okada roars and fans fire up. Okada ripcords, but ZSJ scoops to ZACK DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!?!?

Fans are thunderous as Okada survives ZSJ’s best shot! Both men are down, they slowly stir, but the rallying continues. ZSJ calls to the champion, egging him on. Okada sits up, they go forehead to forehead but Okada drops. ZSJ drags him back up, and EuroUppers hard! Okada stays on his feet, and fans rally up again. Okada comes back to EuroUpper ZSJ. The bad arm can’t give that much and ZSJ is able to shake that off. ZSJ EuroUppers hard, and Okada staggers to a corner. Okada comes back as ZSJ eggs him on. Okada EuroUppers, but again that’s the bad arm. ZSJ EuroUppers hard again, and he starts telling Okada, “Koi yo! <Bring it on!>”

Okada gets up, and he EuroUppers hard! How’s that for bringing it? ZSJ EuroUppers, Okada EuroUppers, ZSJ EuroUppers again! Okada fires forearms but ZSJ PELES the good arm! Then EuroUppers again! And again! And again! Okada runs to SHOTGUN dropkick! ZSJ pops up to PENALTY KCIK! Cover, ONE?! ZSJ runs in, into a gut wrench! But he victory rolls, to EURO CLUTCH! TWO!! Okada escapes, but ZSJ PENALTY KICKS!! Cover, TWO!! But into the FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! ZSJ cranks way back as Okada endures and the fans fire up! Okada reaches out, ZSJ shifts to get that Fujiwara even deeper, with a behind the back grip! But Okada still gets the ROPEBREAK!

Fans rally even harder, “O-KA-DA!” “Z S J!” while both men are down and catching their breath. ZSJ continues to taunt the champion, and ZSJ drags Okada up with a facelock. ZSJ wants to scoop but Okada blocks! Okada CLUBS ZSJ again and again, but then ZSJ EuroUppers! Okada EuroUppers, but into a backslide! ZSJ then rolls through to jackknife, but Okada slips that into a prawn hold! TWO, and Okada scoops! ZSJ slips off, runs, but Okada doesn’t commit to the dropkick cuz ZSJ holds the ropes! ZSJ BOOTS Okada, runs, but then into the DROPKICK! Fans are thunderous and Okada roars!

Okada drags ZSJ up, reels him in, ripcord, but ZSJ gets around to hop on for a SLEEPER! Fans rally as Okada endures, but he’s starting to fade! Okada fights up, throws ZSJ off, but ZSJ BOOTS Okada! ZSJ EuroUppers, but into Okada’s backslide! ZSJ rolls off, ducks the Rainmaker, TORNADO DDT! Scoop and- NO! Okada slips off to scoop, LANDSLIDE!! Okada hurries to ripcord and RAINMAKER!! Cover, Okada wins!!

Winner: Kazuchika Okada, by pinfall (still IWGP World Heavyweight Champion)

The Submission Master may have won the cup, but he could not stop the rain! Will ZSJ have to wait until he wins the cup again before he becomes world champion and the face of Strong Style?

As for Okada, Red Shoes helps him with the belt, and then he gets the mic. The fans clap, “O-KA-DA!” while he catches his breath, and then he says, “Thank you so much for your hot, hot, hot support today! Zack, we fought for this belt four years ago. Let’s not wait another four years. Let’s keep on fighting. Zack, you’re the best!” Fans applaud that, then Okada says, “I couldn’t win the New Japan Cup, but I was able to beat the victor today. As for the next challenger, I can decide now, can’t I?” Fans also applaud that! Okada says he wants NAITO! Naito beat Okada in the Cup, so Okada has to “right that wrong.” Okada knows he “can’t be tranquilo,” so he wants Naito to show up already!

Fans applaud, “O-KA-DA!” “NA-I-TO!” and Okada looks around. “He left.” Fans can’t help but laugh. Well, even if Naito went home, Okada’s mind is made up! He has to get his payback! But wait, Naito IS here! He just did it on his own time. Fans rally again, “NA-I-TO!” “O-KA-DA!” as Naito joins Okada in the ring. Okada says Naito made him panic. “I beat you in a title match, but you got me back. That mean’s we’re 1-1. Let’s settle this.” Fans applaud that idea, too. Naito gets a mic of his own as fans rally again.

“I would never have guessed that Okada would call me out. I was about to head home. We fought in Sapporo in February, Osaka-Jo Hall in March. This will be our third singles match this year.” Does Okada like facing Naito that much? Naito admits he loves locking up with Okada, too. “You pick the time and place for our third singles match of the year, please.” Naito then drops his mic, leaving to of course head home. Okada says the perfect place is on May 1st, in Fukuoka, “ya bastard!”

Okada says Naito likes to lockup with him, and Okada is in love with Naito’s Destino! “If you think you can give it to me, give it a try!” Okada then says, “How’s that sound? May 1st? This will be our third this year. Perhaps some of you have had your fill. But NJPW fans have large appetites. So look forward to our match on May 1st!” Fans cheer, they do like the sound of that.

Okada then notes, “Today’s April 9th. Let me tell you a personal story. 19 years ago, on April 8th, a 15-year-old Okada entered this business. Today, I kicked off my 20th year with a title defense! We all have our struggles in life. Together, we’re still dealing with COVID. But seeing so many of you here at the venue, wrestling for you is amazing.” Fans applaud that, too. “I know there are still things that make us anxious, but hopefully, NJPW can bring you energy! We’ll work hard to help you blow away your fears. So keep supporting us! This 50th Anniversary year rolls on. I’ll keep bringing the excitement, and I’ll keep making it rain in NJPW!”


My Thoughts:

What a way to end the week of Hyper Battle events! I did skip the first two matches, and I feel only a little bad on not giving JadoAce a chance. Jado, Tanahashi, Tama and Loa finally get that win over Bullet Club, Jado tapping Gedo out with his crossface. And another great detail was that Jado & GoD were joining Tanahashi in the main unit, sort of loosely affiliated part of NJPW where they just wear the NJPW logo shirts. The Face turns are complete, and we did see Tama again later. I should’ve figured Evil would find a way to retain the NEVER Openweight Championship. As great as the match was, Hiromu is apparently still not at a level for such a singles title. But I bet JadoAce/GoD will take those NEVER titles from House of Torture as we roll through the Spring.

We got a really great Junior Heavyweight Tag title match, and it makes sense Taguchi & Wato retain. Their reign has really only just begun, there’s probably a team they’re waiting on, and that’ll probably be really good stuff. Taiji moving on after the singles title was a bit of a surprised, but it seems there’s any number of ways they’re going to delay Desperado VS Kanemaru. Francesco Akira moving over to NJPW from AJPW and joining United Empire was a great surprise, and I think Francesco is the first Italian wrestler in the company. He’s going to have a great showing in the BOSJ 29 for May, who knows if he comes out the winner.

Sanada showing up was also a nice surprise, and sadly it was for the reason I feared but expected: he has to vacate the title. He only just got his first singles title and now it’s gone, but we got great stuff out of Ospreay and Tanahashi as they both stepped up. Commonwealth Kingpin VS Once in a Century Talent, that is going to be a great match and could go either way. And after an awesome IWGP Heavyweight Tag title match, Khan & Cobb winning was a great move. Khan and Cobb have been doing great work in and out of the ring, and NJPW acknowledging Khan legitimately saving a young woman just to make it contrast with his Heel persona is really clever stuff. The United Empire could end up dripping in gold before the summer.

Yano VS Taichi was a great KOPW match with the sumo rules, and another great choice for Taichi to win. Taichi vowing to step KOPW up to another level is pretty cool, and him calling Takagi out was quite the surprise. I suppose this is like if the WWE took their 24/7 Championship and put it on hard hitters like Sheamus or Drew McIntyre. Takagi and Taichi can choose whatever stipulations they want, we know it’ll turn into a slugfest either way, and I can’t wait. Okada VS ZSJ was also awesome stuff, ZSJ continued to show he belongs near the top, but he’s not at the top just yet. Okada winning to call out Naito makes sense, and they had a good interaction. They also have great matches, so having another is only going to be good stuff, I also can’t wait.

My Score: 9/10

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Match Results & Ratings: 9.19.2024

Victory Road was damn good, but behind us now. So let’s see how the build for Bound for Glory starts!

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Well hot damn, Victory Road was a solid night of action, surprises and an overall enjoyable watch. Even with the major let down segments of SDL and the Knockouts Tag, they were placed right in the middle…so there was energy aplenty for the last four matches. We do get to see where they’re going with Bound For Glory in about 6 weeks.

My fantasy booking has The System, ABC and Hardyz heading towards a championship 3 way dance. DeMALISH is done, so at least Masha is back on the singles circuit. Lets hope she makes short work of Lish and/or Tasha.

Time to see where the early steps take us on the way to Bound for Glory.

Ratings:

  • First Cla$$ (KC Navarro & AJ Francis) vs Sinner & Saint ( Judas Icarus & Travis Williams): First Cla$$ win via Down Payment/Frog Splash combo – ** 1/4
  • Matt Cardona vs Rhino: Cardona DQ’d – My time wasted
  • Knockouts Tag Championship: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Kendal Grey & Carlee Bright: Spirefire retains via Pressure Drop – * 1/2
  • Texas Death Match: JDC vs Mike Santana: Santana wins – ** 3/4
  • Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards vs Masha Slamovich & The Hardyz: Hardyz win via Twist & Swanton combo – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Lish talks smack, Masha comes out, Lish says she doesn’t even understand her – AND FINALLY – Masha speaks English. So she runs down Lish, says she’s sick of her but Tasha jumps Masha from behind. Lish grabs Kendra, attacks Masha and we see Tasha and Lish beatdown Masha until Jordynne makes the save for Masha. The System comes out to tip the numbers game, but then The Hardyz come out to save Masha and Jordynne. 

Santino’s goofy music hits and I guess we’re heading to the 3×3 since Lish is still injured. Masha Slamabitch and the Hard Boyz will fight Tasha and System boys. Arianna’s music hits before Santino can say something to Jordynne, and she declares Jordynne gets an NXT friend next week to fight Rosemary and Wendy Choo. I just like Santino and Arianna playing together. It’s wholesomely moronic. 

First Cla$$ (KC Navarro & AJ Francis) vs Sinner & Saint ( Judas Icarus & Travis Williams)

KC and Travis start off, KC hits some athletic counters, taunts a little and extends the hand but Travis turns it into an Arm Whip, tags in Icarus, they Double Team, AJ blind tags as KC rope runs, Spiderman pose in the ropes, AJ levels  Icarus, KC takes out Travis, hits the tandem move The Deposit, into Tennessee Whiskey. KC tags back in, Snapmare into Footstomp and a near fall before AJ tags back in. They go for a tandem move on Icarus in the corner, but Icarus dumps KC to the outside, turns a Suplex into a DDT, and then crawls to Travis for simultaneous tags as Travis is working KC over. KC powders, tries to change sides but Sinner and Saint tandem redirect the dive. Inverted Suplex for a near fall.

AJ comes in, Lawn Darts Icarus into Travis, Down Payment, Frog Splash from KC…and First Cla$$ win!

Matt Cardona vs Rhino

Obviously just a step towards the eventual PCO versus Cardona, prolly at Bound for Glory. So this match is useless and Cardona has no reason to lose.

Cardona tries to pick his spot, but just gets his Foot picked out of mid air, and Rhino throws Cardona around the ring, Lariat, sets up for a Gore…but Cardona powders. Rhino follows and Suplexes Cardona onto the ramp, throws him back in and a Throat Chop from Cardona finally gives him some space. Missile Dropkick for an unnecessary pinfall, and then just grinding the Forearm into Rhino’s face in the corner. 10 Count Punches turned into a Powerbomb from Rhino for 2.

Rhino goes to get a chair, the ref admonishes him, Rhino throws the chair in, Cardona uses it in front of the referee and gets DQ’d. Radio Silence on Rhino after the DQ, Cardona looks to continue the punishment but lights go out and PCO attacks. Chokeslam, goes for the PCO-Sault, but Cardona powders and runs away. PCO goes full Ric Flair, attacks the chair and then PCO-Saults a steel chair.

Well…that’s new. 

Knockouts Tag Championship: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Kendal Grey & Carlee Bright

You know how I’ve said these titles are useless right? Now they’re being defended against…no one. Bright Grey? That’s not even a Crayola Crayon color. I think I would enjoy constipation more than this match.

Jody and…Grey?… start and its just slow, headlocky, I guess trying to get across Grey’s amateur background, but it looks terribly…meh. Dani tags in and now my attention is peaked. Powerbomb attempt but Grey tries to slip it into a Cradle, Dani kicks out, catches Grey and Sack of Shit into Kip Up. Tandem Stalling Suplex after the tag, but only 2. Dani gets tagged in, they don’t seem to be taking Grey super seriously, so Grey finally kicks off and gets the tag to Bright. Okay, Cartwheel Knees is unique offense, not the Cheerleader Back Handspirng, I can respect that. Oh nice Standing Moonsault from Bright. Grey tags in, Jody takes a few seconds too long for the “blind tag”, Senton off the ropes to kill the two NXT girls, Pressure Drop, title retained.

Burn these belts and push Dani as a singles. 

Texas Death Match: JDC vs Mike Santana

Jade looks like she’s cosplaying Peg Bundy during the intros but…ya know…not complaining. And it sounds like they’re doing the rules correctly with pinfall and then 10 count. So, that’s nice the rules seem to be clear.

JDC tries to attack Santana as he comes in from the crowd, Santana turns it around as expected and starts running JDC from corner to corner, Enzuigiri and multiple Bootwash corner spots. Santana looks for a Cannonball, but JDC powders, so Santana stalks a little, Tope con Hilo connects! Santana finds some chairs as the morons start chanting for tables when it’s 4 minutes in. That chant just screams inbred and stupid anymore.

Santana puts the two chairs back to back and looks to hit the old Eddie Kingston spot on JDC, but JDC fights it off, 10 count punches that JDC counters with the Powerbomb through the back to back chairs. Trash can and kendo stick time for Dango. Dude, Stomp is soo 1999 but its apparently cool in Texas. DOWN AND DIRTY on the trash can from JDC! But he can’t cover since now he’s selling his own pain for dropping on a can. Santana smartly powders and JDC tries to remember how to walk. Santana crawls up to his feet bleeding, but he also found a Barbedwire Bat! Dango tries to grab him, BAT TO FACE! Of course they head to a commercial right as the match gets bloody…sigh.

So we’re back and they’re fighting in the crowd, or no, some staging area about the crowd. Dango is bleeding, Santana is bleeding, Santana counters Dango and hits a Piledriver on the stage for 2! Brawling up some steps, JDC kicks off Santana and connects with a Tornado DDT for 2! Santana rolls over and flops off the stage as he crawls to…somewhere. JDC with the low speed pursuit, he finally charges and gets tossed into some broken barricade makeshift something! Santana slams a production case into Dango a few times, as Dango tries to crawl up a table to get away. Santana walks back up to the stage, and stops himself mid-charge. FINDS A LADDER. Santana gets the ref and someone else to hold it, goes to the top of the ladder…and Splash through JDC on the table.

Takes entirely too long, so while it looks cool its pretty stupid. 1-2-3, the pinfall happens, but lets see if the 10 count holds. 10 count goes through, Santana wins.

Moose attacks afterwards and just beats the tar out of him with a chair.

Hendry comes out, Kaz interrupts, Nic Nemeth basically agrees to fight everyone. So Santino makes it shot and succulent, and decides for Hendry and Kaz to have a number 1 contender match next week. Nothing of crazy merit was said during the promo, so I decided to take Santino’s directions and go for short and succulent. 

Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards vs Masha Slamovich & The Hardyz

Well right after intros they cut to a commercial, so maybe we won’t get anymore. Tasha and Masha start off, and throw fists fast, things stay close and they trade. Masha gets the advantage after a Drop Toe Hold into the middle rope, kick to the face, running knees and Tasha tags out to Eddie. Masha doesn’t care she wants to fight Eddie but Eddie cheap shots Matt on the apron and Matt tells Masha to tag him in. So Eddie doesn’t look like a completely shitty heel, and the crowd pops for a Hardy.

Matt chokes Eddie along the ropes, Leg Drape attack and tags in my name is Jeff. A little classic Hardy tandem work, Myers just runs in, stack the dorks, Splash version of Poetry in Motion. System gets Lariated out, Tasha tries to attack Matt but Masha eats Tasha. Whips her 3 times into corners and Poetry in Moscow. All of the System is on the outside, so Masha goes to the top, Senton off the top rope and Bowling Balls The System. Ugh…picture in picture is awful…stop with commercials at bad times. I really miss the commercial free YouTube version.

So to no one’s surprise, of course The System take control during the distraction break, Masha is being isolated, Eddie tags in and he’s taking his sweet time for a chop. So again, Eddie doesn’t make contact. Masha drops Tasha, ducks the men, hot tag to Jeff! Jeff lights up Eddie, looks for Whisper in the Wind but Myers pulls Eddie out of the way and Jeff hits nothing. And unlike Jinder, Eddie didn’t bump to a breeze. Eddie tags out to Myers, Russian Leg Sweep and Front Face Lock is keeping Jeff down. Jeff fights back up, but Myers clocks him. Myers tags in Tasha, and Tasha goes with the Knife Edge Chops on Jeff, mocks the Jeff dance, then twerks in his face before tagging Eddie back in.

Myers attacks Matt off the apron and even Masha, but Jeff starts to fight back, goes for the Whisper again, and this time connects on both! Jeff tags in Matt, so he starts working through the System boys. Neckbreaker into the Delete Headsmashes for both members of the System. Side Effect on Myers for only two. Matt calls for the Twist, the crowd responds well, but the Twist is countered, Lish grabs Matt’s foot but the referee sees it. EJECTION! Poor Tami-Lynn, she doesn’t wanna go, Hardys and Masha laugh and sing the Hey Hey Hey song, Lish says no so the ABC walk down and pick her up and carry her out. Twist of Fates for everyone, Swanton Bomb from Jeff, Hardyz and Masha win!

 

Overall Score: 6/10

Serviceable in regards to setting up most of the threads for Bound for Glory. The actual wrestling could’ve been a lot better, but for a starting point, it could’ve been worse. Xia Li getting her new name revealed, which I like. Some kind of Thunder reference, mixed in with the fact her vignettes give Mortal Kombat vibes, its very cool. The Knockouts Tags definitely feel like useless metal, Santana and JDC was probably better to experience in person, because the commercial break broke the momentum…and Gods damn was that finish sooo slow. At least the Texas Death Match rules were correct.

Crowd was also hot for the Hardyz, so the combination of “evil Russian” dropping the accent and proving to be a Hardy fangirl and get the Hardyz babyface rub sets up Masha nicely. She should be the next face of the Knockouts Division.

Next week we’ll hopefully get a touch more clarity or reasons for multi-person shmoz matches. But reasons are reasons, and this moved in logical enough directions.

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (9/19/24)

Is Dark Order good enough?

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Team Texas meets Dark Order on the Proving Ground!

Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara need challengers for the ROH World Tag Team Championships, so Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds are put to the test! Will they last the necessary ten minutes?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • ROH Women’s World TV Championship Proving Grounds: Red Velvet VS Allysin Kay; Velvet wins and denies Allysin a title opportunity.
  • The Gates of Agony VS Dante Leon & Trip Jordy; The Gates of Agony win.
  • Preston Vance VS Brandon Cutler; Vance wins.
  • John Silver w/ The Dark Order VS KM; Silver wins.
  • Rachael Ellering VS Maggie Lee; Rachael wins.
  • The Infantry w/ Trish Adora VS Spanish Announce Project; The Infantry wins.
  • Anthony Ogogo w/ Shane Taylor VS Kit Sackett; Ogogo wins.
  • Brian Cage VS Deonn Rusman; Cage wins.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Ground: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara VS Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds w/ John Silver; Dustin & Sammy win and deny The Dark Order a title opportunity.

PLAY BY PLAY

ROH Women’s World TV Championship Proving Grounds: Red Velvet VS Allysin Kay!

The Chef is cooking, and she even whipped up a new look for the belt! Will Velvet have the whole women’s division seeing red? Or will AK say pinkies out as she eats up this dish?

The Code of Honor is upheld with a pinkie swear, and the two circle. They tie up and Allysin shoves Velvet down. Velvet gets up, dodges Allysin, and wags a finger. Allysin runs up again, Velvet slides under, then she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! The fans fire up and Velvet fires off body shots in the corner! Velvet lets off, but then comes back to stomp high and low. Velvet lets off to dig her boot in! The fans cheer as Velvet does the splits and stirs it up. Velvet lets off as the ref counts, then she comes back to fire forearms. Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, but Allysin says no to the bulldog, WHEELBARROW GERMAN! Cover, TWO!

Allysin drags Velvet up to TOSS her to a corner, then CHOPS her! The fans fire up, Allysin CHOPS again. Allysin bumps Velvet off buckles, Velvet hits back, but Allysin fires her own body shots. Then a fireman’s carry to a SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Allysin drags Velvet up, Velvet fires body shots of her own again! Velvet runs, but Allysin catches the crossbody! FALL AWAY SLAM! Cover, TWO! Velvet toughs it out but Allysin drags her back up. Velvet fires more body shots, Allysin shoves her away, but Velvet runs up. Allysin sidesteps and runs, Velvet CALF KICKS, but Allysin deflects it! Then she gets an ANKLE LOCK!

Velvet endures as Allysin twists the foot. The fans rally, Velvet reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Allysin lets go at 4, then storms back up. Allysin snapmares Velvet, and clamps on with a straitjacket stretch! Velvet endures, even as Allysin digs a knee into her back. The fans rally up, Velvet fights up, and Velvet arm-drags free! Velvet runs up, to tilt-o-whirl and IRON OCTOPUS! Allysin endures, the fans rally, and Allysin powers right into a gut wrench! But Velvet clicks her heels, slips free, and hits a STUNNER! Velvet runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Velvet survives and Allysin grows frustrated.

Allysin drags Velvet up and in, Canadian Rack into the Gory Especial, but Velvet sunset flips it! TWO, and both women stand! Velvet LARIATS, but Allysin stays up! Velvet runs again, and she LARIATS again, but Allysin wags her finger. Velvet tries again, ducks Allysin’s lariat and LEAPING LARIATS! Then she CALF KICKS! Allysin falls, Velvet roars and the fans fire up! Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, and STUNNERS! Allysin falls back, Velvet goes after her at the ropes. The fans rally, Velvet pumps up and runs, to DOUBLE KNEE! Velvet YANKS Allysin off ropes, rolls with her, and dragon sleepers! JUST DESSERTS! Cover, Velvet wins!

Winner: Red Velvet, by pinfall (denies Allysin Kay a title match)

A solid win from The Chef, and she tells Diamante that she has the blood of a fighter! Eat, sleep, breathe, wrestling! Will everyone be served up some hot, fresh L’s in Red Velvet’s kitchen?

 

The Dark Order speak.

Dustin Rhodes wants more championships, and it makes Evil Uno sick! Alex Reynolds says that greed will lead to Dustin’s downfall. The funny thing about this Proving Ground is that The Dark Order has nothing to prove. Dustin & Sammy have to show they can beat The Dark Order in 10 minutes. All Dark Order has to do is beat the clock, and then unlike Dustin & Sammy, the Dark Order will earn a title opportunity. Dark Order is ROH, and they vow to get both revenge, and those ROH World Tag Team Championships. Will Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds show the world #DarkOrderisGood enough?

 

The Outrunners speak.

Truth Magnum tells The Iron Savages, “You wanna attack The Outrunners from behind?” Turbo Floyd & Erica Leigh shake their heads. But they don’t call him The Truth for nothing! And the truth is, if you’ve got beef, here are two Grade A master chefs, and they’re running hot! Keep your “savage sauce,” because you’re looking two young men absolutely jacked to the gills on “best-tosterone!” Turbo says the Savages have a few things he can respect: their muscles; their tans; their glitz; but they ain’t got no glamour! That’s what The Outrunners have! And in ROH, if you want it, let him tell you: Any time, any place!

Because if you haven’t seen The Outrunners, you haven’t seen nothing yet! Erica barks, but will Truth & Turbo find they’re barking up the wrong tree?

 

The Premier Athletes speak.

Mark Sterling says, “Whoa, whoa, hold on. Do you recognize this man? Of course you do. Because over a million of you saw him do the most impressive wrestling move you’ve ever seen in your life. But did you just see the move and scroll past it? Or did you actually think about who was the man that did the move? I’ll tell you who that man is. This is Josh Woods, National Champion, 108 collegiate wins, four-time All American! And there’s more where that came from.” Woods says he can do that to anybody. Anytime, anywhere. Then when and where will we see the Technical Beast do that for some gold?

 

The Infantry w/ Trish Adora VS Spanish Announce Project!

While Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo have made amends with The Outrunners, they’re still aiming at the ROH World Tag Team Championships. But that just means they’re one of many, because the reinvigorated Angelico Y Serpentico want their shot! Who rises up the ranks with a win while the other falls in Sioux Falls?

The teams sort out and #BadNews&Tattoos starts against the South African Stud. They shake hands for the Code of Honor, and Bravo gets an “OORAH!” going. Bravo and Angelico circle, the fans rally, and the two tie up. Angelico wrenches, wristlocks, but Bravo reaches down, slips around, and he wristlocks back. Bravo says they’re really wrestling and the fans have a laugh. Bravo keeps on the wrist, but spins, opens the hold, then steps over for a modified cording hold! Then Angelico wrenches the other wrist, but Bravo rolls, handsprings, pops ‘n’ locks and he gets Angelico with that vibe! Then Bravo reels Angelico in for a headlock!

The fans cheer, but Angelico powers up and out. Angelico drops, then hip tosses, but Bravo spins through it to arm-drag! The fans cheer again, Bravo eggs Angelico on, ducks the haymaker, but Angelico ducks the backhand. Bravo ducks the roundhouse, jumps the sweep, and dropkicks cancel out! Angelico spins to his feet while Bravo kips up, and both men Bernie Lean and walk it out! The fans cheer, and the two tag to The Captain and #SNAKEMAN. The fans “OORAH!” with Bravo again, and Dean shakes hands with Serpentico. They tie up, Dean headlocks, but Serpentico powers out. Dean runs Serpentico over!

The fans rally as Bran says Dean is so strong. Things speed up, Dean hurdles but Serpentico ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! The fans fire up but Dean is on his feet. Dean runs up, but into BOOTS! Dean tries again but Serpentico RANAS! But then Dean arm-drags! And arm-drags again! And DROPKICK! The fans fire up and Dean brings Serpentico up. Dean wrenches Serpentico, tags Bravo, and The Infantry double whip. DOUBLE HIP TOSS! A rough landing for Serpentico, but Infantry DOUBLE FIST DROP! Angelico storms in, Dean blocks a kick, hands it to Bravo, then ENZIGIRIS Bravo slips around to hit a NECKBREAKER!

The fans fire up while Angelico bails out. Serpentico slowly rises, Bravo brings him up, but Serpentico headlocks. Bravo powers out but Angelico tags in. Serpentico ducks Bravo and Angelico scoops to BACKBREAKER! Angelico stands Bravo up, Serpentico runs in, NECKBREAKER DROP BACKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, TWO! Bravo stays in this but Angelico stays on him with a cording hold. Bravo endures, the fans rally up, and Bravo fights up, only for Angelico to knee low! Tag to Serpentico, SAP double whip, then they both drop. Bravo is very surprised by that but clears them both. Angelico hip tosses Bravo, then SAP ZENMAI! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally as Bravo stays in this. Serpentico drags Bravo up, tags Angelico back in, and SAP mugs Bravo. Angelico stomps Bravo while Adora rallies the fans with “Let’s Go, Bravo, Let’s Go!” Bravo CHOPS Angelico, Angelico KNEES low! Angelico JABS Bravo, wrenches and lifts, BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Angelico keeps Bravo down by bending his arm against a knee. Bravo endures, the fans rally, but Angelico top wristlocks. Bravo fights up, fires body shots, but Angelico ROCKS him! Angelico stalks Bravo to ropes, brings him up, and then wrenches. Angelico back suplexes, but Bravo lands out! Bravo reaches out, but Angelico keeps him back!

The fans rally, and Bravo BACKHANDS Angelico away! Hot tags to Dean and Serpentico! The fans fire up as Dean rallies on SAP with LARIAT after LARIAT! Then he floats on Angelico to DDT! Kip up, and he gets Serpentico, spin and “SONIC BOOM~” LARIAT! The fans fire up while Serpentico goes to a corner, and Dean says, “OORAH!” The fans echo “OORAH!” and Dean ELBOWS Serpentico! Bravo tags in then follows Dean as he takes Serpentico side to side. Buckle bump and a BOOT, then Dean goes back to a corner. Bravo bumps Serpentico off buckles again, and Dean runs in to LEAPING LARIAT!

The fans fire up while Dean lands safe on the apron, and Bravo scoops Serpentico to MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Serpentico survives and Bravo is stunned! Dean calls for Boot Camp and he tags in. Dean hooks Serpentico up, Bravo runs, but Angelico trips him! Angelico drags Bravo out to UPPERCUT, and Serpentico snapmares Dean. Serpentico mule kicks, ROCKS and SUPERKICKS! Angelico steps in to clinch and FLATLINER! Serpentico goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Dean survives and SAP is shocked! The fans rally up but SAP drags Dean up. SAP coordinate, Angelico runs, but Bravo trips Angelico up!

Bravo drags Angelico out now, and ROLLING ELBOW! Serpentico ROCKS Dean, runs, but Bravo returns! Infantry dodges Serpentico to fire off the Captain & Bucky combo! Then DOUBLE ROLLING ELBOWS! The fans fire up with The Infantry, and they hook Serpentico up again. Time for BOOT CAMP!! Cover, Infantry wins!

Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall

SAP put up a fight, but The Infantry are marching up towards the top of the rankings! Bravo says never fear, the Infantry is here! But will they be armed and ready for a title shot in the near future? And perhaps best of all, The Infantry offer the Code of Honor, and SAP takes it!

 

Shane Taylor Promotions speaks.

Anthony Ogogo says it is so good to be Anthony Ogogo! The skull-crackin’, jaw-jackin’ Gov’nah is back in ROH! Shane Taylor himself says it’s great to have him back. Ogogo says he was in Paris for the Olympics, watching the very best athletes win gold. But brother, it got Ogogo thinking. It’s time for him to win gold in ROH! Shane likes that, too. Shane says a wise man once said, “First you get the money, then you get the power.” Around here, winning gold is both! And STP is gonna start taking every championship ROH has to offer. AEW is where the best wrestler, but ROH is where the baddest rumble! Will Ogogo and Big Bad Shaney T. soon join Lee Moriarty as champions of ROH?

 

ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Ground: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara VS Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds w/ John Silver!

Dustin is a double champion here in ROH, and that’s all the reason The Dark Order needed to despise him! But will they be able to bring down The Natural & The Spanish God? Or will Team Texas be riding high in South Dakota?

The Code of Honor is tentatively upheld, but Reynolds does go and push Sammy. The teams sort out and Sammy starts against Reynolds. The fans rally as the two circle, but then Reynolds bails out. Sammy is annoyed, the fans boo, but Reynolds reminds us, the Dark Order doesn’t even need to beat the champs, just last the ten minutes. Silver and Reynolds high-five, the fans rally for Sammy, and he waits on Reynolds. Reynolds takes his time returning, and then Reynolds tags Uno. And Uno tells Sammy, “I want this guy!” He points at Dustin, Sammy points at Dustin, and the fans fire up as Sammy tags Dustin!

Dustin and Uno circle, they approach, but then Uno bails out to troll Dustin. Uno does a sarcastic victory lap, but Dustin cuts him off. Uno says whoa, hold on, only to turn around and see Sammy! The fans cheer but Uno runs away into the ring! Team Texas grabs at him, knocks him down, and then Uno gets up into an UPPERCUT! Sammy hooks Uno up, Dustin joins in, DOUBLE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Sammy kips up, Reynolds runs in, but into a DROPKICK! Sammy kips real smooth, and then he tells Dustin to dive! The fans fire up, Dustin fires up, and while Dark Order regroups, Team Texas builds speed!

But then Dark Order scurries away, Sammy & Dustin put on the brakes, and the fans boo. Sammy spins and poses, so Dustin busts out the spinarooni! Dustin poses, too, and the fans fire up! The Dark Order gets mad, but turnabout is fair play. The Dark Order decides to just bail, but Dustin chases them down! Dustin SMACKS Uno, ROCKS Reynolds, then gets Silver to back off. Dustin UPPERCUTS Uno, SMACKS him off the apron, then stalks him around the way. Dustin puts Uno in the ring, but Reynolds storms up. Dustin counter punches! Uno distracts the ref, allowing Silver to POST Dustin! The fans boo and Silver protests, but Reynolds throws hands on Dustin.

Reynolds puts Dustin in, Uno bumps him off buckles, and he stomps a mudhole. Tag to Reynolds, the Dark Order mugs Dustin, and Reynolds snapmares Dustin. Reynolds steps on Dustin, then uses the ropes to IMPLODER ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Reynolds keeps Dustin from Sammy, bumps him off buckles, and tags Uno. The fans rally, Uno CHOPS Dustin, then he soaks up the heat. Uno goes back to Dustin, but Dustin UPPERCUTS! Reynolds grabs Dustin but Dustin ROCKS him! Dustin fires more shots on Uno, but Reynolds barks at Dustin. So Dustin DECKS Reynolds! But he turns around into a kick from Uno!

Uno runs, but he runs into the SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up while both men are down! Uno crawls to his corner, but there’s no Reynolds! Dustin crawls, but Silver distracts the ref from the hot tag! The ref stops Sammy, not knowing what happened, and then Uno BOOTS Sammy! Uno SPLASHES Dustin, bumps him off buckles, and Reynolds goes up. Uno sets Dustin up for a FLYING DOUBLE STOMP! Reynolds then DIVES onto Sammy! Uno hits a PILEDRIVER on Dustin! Cover, TWO!! Dustin survives and Uno is shocked! Another cover, TWO! Uno grows frustrated but we’re five minutes in, time is still on their side.

Uno calls to Reynolds, brings Dustin over, and tags Reynolds in. The Dark Order mugs Dustin, but Dustin fights back with big hands! But then Dark Order pushes Dustin back! Dustin dodges Uno, dodges Reynolds, and the ref sees this hot tag! Sammy goes up to DOUBLE CROSSBODY The Dark Order down! The fans fire up, Sammy CLOBBERS Uno, then keeps moving to duck ‘n’ dodge Reynolds so he can CLOBBER him, too! The fans fire up as Sammy kips up, and Sammy RAMS in to Reynolds! Sammy goes to the apron to ENZIGIRI Reynolds, and he SUPERKICKS Uno! Reynolds then springboards in, but Reynolds gets under!

Reynolds runs up, into a CUTTER! Dustin runs in to add a SHINING WIZARD! Cover, Uno breaks it! Dustin storms up, Uno shouts “STOP~!” Then he ROCKS Dustin with a right hand! But Sammy JUMP KNEES Uno! Uno tumbles out, Sammy goes for Reynolds, but Silver drags him out! The fans boo as Dark Order regroups again. Sammy says that’s fine, and he builds speed, to FLY! Down goes The Dark Order! Sammy puts Reynolds in for Dustin to hop on, DESTROYER! Dustin brings Reynolds up, Sammy climbs, and we get a FINAL RECKONING, into the SWANTON BOMB! Cover, Team Texas wins!

Winners: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara, by pinfall (denies The Dark Order a title match)

Uno & Reynolds played not to win but to not lose, and that only backfired every step of the way! But wait! THE CAGE OF AGONY ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Brian Cage fireman’s carries Sammy, for an F5!! The Gates mug Dustin, The Dark Order cheers while the fans boo! Kaun & Liona hold up the tag titles, then they stand Dustin up, for the DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH!! Dustin falls over, is this just a foreshadowing of what is to come? Or can Dustin & Sammy survive the gauntlet of challengers?


My Thoughts:

A very good episode of ROH, with it coming in at an hour and 10 minutes. It still had a lot of matches that were easily filler, but I again commend them on giving everyone good showings. A little surprised, and maybe a little disappointed, that Harley Cameron did not appear to go after Rachael Ellering. They could get that story going if they really wanted but they sure drag things out. But I do like that a big development was Red Velvet changing the belt, the red strap looks so good with the dark silver ROH uses for their belts. We just need them to hurry up and give us Velvet VS Diamante, not sure what they’re waiting on.

Sterling’s promo with Josh Woods was itself basically filler, because we already went through the phase of “Let’s hype The Premier Athletes up.” Just get Woods going in the Pure Division so he can eventually face Lee Moriarty, and maybe even give us some STP beating up on Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari. Speaking of which, after Ogogo of course “knocked out” his opponent tonight, good promo from him and Shane. STP is a team I’d definitely like seeing pull of the “dripping with gold” trope. Moriarty has the Pure Championship, the whole crew can be Six Man Champs, and I suppose Ogogo can “knock out” Atlantis Jr. to get the TV title while Shane finally beats Mark Briscoe to get the world title.

And a lot of good stuff is cooking in the Six Man as well as traditional Tag Divisions. We got a very good match from Infantry and SAP, and a very good promo from Outrunners calling out The Iron Savages. And while we got a really good tag match out of Dark Order and Team Texas, I figured Team Texas would win out. Clearly, Cage of Agony wants next, but I would think Kaun & Liona have a better chance getting the World Tag titles than the whole faction does the Six Man titles. Cage of Agony, while they were Mogul Embassy, already had a dominant run with the Six Man belts, let another faction have their time.

My Score: 8.6/10

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